"CLAW" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

A FAST-GROWING FIELD

You know how, when you go into a seafood restaurant, they have the
lobsters up front, in a tank, all trying to scuttle back out of the way and
hide under each other so they won't get eaten? Well, it's inevitable that
some lobsters get damaged in the process-broken claws, eye stalks falling off,
that kind of thing. And then you have the problem that (a) you have damaged
lobsters, which you can't serve to your customers and (b) you have these loose
random eye stalks lying around the bottom of your tank, which hardly act as a
Cheerful Greeting to your incoming customers. This is why there is such a
tremendous demand today for people who know how, using modern adhesives, to
reassemble a damaged lobster, or use the leftover parts to construct a whole
new one, often incorporating a new and improved design ("Hey," more than one
delighted restaurant patron has cried recently. "My lobster has a claw made
entirely out of eye stalks!").

And this is just one new emerging-growth career field. Others include:
Drug Overlord; Computer Geek; Televised Christian; Person Who Sells Staples to
the Defense Department for What It Cost to Liberate France; Vigilante; and
Pip, whose job is to stand behind Gladys Knight and go "whooo whooo" at
certain points during the song, "Midnight Train to Georgia."

WELDER WANTED--TO weld certain pieces of metal together.


ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT--Young-thinking, fast-moving,
forward-looking emerging-growth company with dynamic,
attractive plant-filled lobby featuring modernistic,
incomprehensible sculpture and old, heavily thumbed issues
of Pork Buyer Weekly seeks eager,ambitious,personable,
aggressive, can-do, confident, hard-driving, highly
motivated self-starter to clean scum-encrusted office
coffee-related implements.

WHERE SHOULD YOU BEGIN YOUR JOB SEARCH?

The answer to that question is right in your local newspaper. That's
right! Every day, hundreds of employers pay good money to advertise jobs in
the classified ad section, apparently unaware that practically nobody reads
it! So I want you to turn to the help wanted section right now and locate all
the ads that look promising.

The way to do this is to count the adjectives. For example, take the ads
shown above.

The first ad contains only one adjective, and thus represents a poor
career opportunity. The second ad, on the other hand, clearly offers a very
exciting opportunity, based on the adjective count.

YOUR RESUME