"CLAW" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

Your resume is more than just a piece of paper ... it is a piece of paper
with lies written all over it. Often, a good resume can mean the difference
between not getting a job and not even coming close.

in writing your resume, you should follow the format shown in the example
below, although you might want to modify it to suit your individual situation.
For example, you may want to use your own name, instead of the word "NAME."
Unless you have a name like "Dewey."

A lot of people make a really stupid mistake: namely, they send their
resume to the Personnel Department. Pay close attention here: NEVER SEND
ANYTHING TO THE PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT.

RESUME

NAME: (Last name first, first name in the middle, middle name way off to the
right, in a little box. Should sound British.)
ADDRESS: (Include clear directions as to how to get there, such as, 'if you
come to a Dairy Queen on your left, you have gone too far.
PHONE: (Specify whether "Princess" or "Standard" model; note any special
features such as "last number re-dial.")

CAREER OBJECTIVE: (This should sound like the speeches given by Miss America
contestants to demonstrate that they have a Personality. For example: "I
would very much like to utilize my skills to the greatest of my ability
in hopes of achieving a significant degree of accomplishment." Leave out
the part about hoping, someday to work with handicapped animals.)4412

SUMMARY OF CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS: (The important thing here is verbs. Verbs
verbs verbs! You want to sound like a person with a slightly overactive
thyroid. Be vague. Lie. Remember that nobody's going to read this.)

September, 1985 to present: ADMINISTRATOR. Initiate, coordinate, Participate,
and eliminate all traces of long and short-term mid-range interim
approaches.
1983 to 1985: COORDINATOR. Gathered, analyzed, and collated a wide range of
data, then kneaded it on a floured surface and baked it in a moderate
oven until a toothpick inserted in the center came out clean. Served
six. REASON FOR LEAVING: Communists.
1981 to 1983: ASSOCIATE. Put my right hand in, took my right hand out, did
the hokey-pokey, and shook it all about. REASON FOR LEAVING: Ennui.

EDUCATION

SCHOOL: Harvard and Yale University School of Learning, Ph.D. in Business
Appliance Management, 1980.
COLLEGE: Fargo and Surrounding Farms College of Arts and Sciences Such as Long
Division, B.M. in Restaurant Communications, 1978.