"The Adventures of Father Silas" - читать интересную книгу автора (de Farniente Beauregard)

CHAPTER FIVE

“I have no objection,” said she, “and shall do it the more willingly, as Silas knows nothing of his mother more than he has learned this evening, and has still to learn whence she came and how she happens to be here. Allow me, Fathers, to give him this information, and to go back somewhat farther in my history than the day you wish me to speak of.-My friend,” continued she, addressing me, “you will not hear any tale of illustrious ancestors, for I have never heard that I had any. I am the daughter of a woman who used to let chairs in the church of this convent and who took her pleasures from the Fathers of that time, for she was too good a friend of the convent for me to suppose that I am indebted for my existence to the honest man, her husband.

“At ten years of age I did not belie my extraction, for I knew what it was to love before I knew myself, and the Fathers did not omit to cultivate my inclinations. A young monk gave me such excellent lessons, that I should have thought myself guilty of ingratitude towards the others if I had not let them know that I was also in a condition to give lessons myself. I had already acquitted myself with each of them, when they made a proposal to put me into a place where I should renew my payments as often as I pleased. Till then I had only been able to do it secretly, sometimes behind the altar, at others before, or in a confessional, but very rarely in a chamber. The idea of being without restraint flattered my taste; I accepted their offers, and entered here.

“On entering I was dressed like a young girl about to go to the altar, and the anticipation of my good fortune threw an air of serenity over my countenance which delighted all the Fathers. They were all on tiptoe to get into my good graces, as being the high-road to getting somewhere else. I foresaw that my nuptials would closely resemble those of the Lapithae, in Ovid's Metamorphoses.

“'My good Fathers,' said I to them, 'your numbers do not frighten me, but I may perhaps have formed an exaggerated estimate of my strength: I fear you will be too many for me; you are twenty, and the match is not even; I beg leave to propose an arrangement. You must all strip naked!' I myself began to set the example, and my gown, stays, and shift were off in a moment. I saw them all in the same condition, and my eyes revelled for a moment in the charming exhibition of twenty tools, stiff, thick, long, and hard as iron bars, all ready for the combat.

“'Come along,' said I; 'it is time to begin. I am going to lie down on this bed; I will open my thighs wide enough for you to effect an entrance by running at me weapon in hand; in this manner shall it be decided; the bunglers will have no one but themselves to blame and if they miss me they will find others at hand ready to supply the means of reducing their members to submission. That is what I propose, gentlemen!'

“They all praised this happy freak of my fancy, and drew lots for the first attack; I prepared the ring, and three passed without entering, and fell upon the sisters, who soon made them forget the mishap in all sorts of pleasures. A fourth came; it was yourself, Father Prior. With what lively transports did I repay your skill! And if the ecstasy produced by a mutual discharge causes conception, you share the honor of having begotten Silas with four or five who followed you. -Yes, my friend,” continued she addressing me; “you have the advantage of most men, who may perhaps be able to say when they were born, but not when they were begotten.”

Such were our conversations, and such were the pleasures that we had in the fish-house. I was never the last to arrive. Every night I visited the Prior or the steward; I was indefatigable, and became the leader of the band. In short I was the very soul of our meetings, and my tool passed into the hands of all, old and young.

Reflection would, however, sometimes arise in the very midst of our voluptuousness; all the sisters appeared delighted with their lot. I could not conceive how women of a gay and dissipated turn could voluntarily pass their life in such seclusion, live there without disgust, and relish pleasures which were purchased at the price of little less than absolute slavery. When I expressed my opinion to this effect they laughed at my surprise, and could not imagine how I came by such absurd ideas.

“You know very little of our temperament,” said one of the prettiest to me one day, “and that libertinism, the deceitful fruit of a cultivated education, has thrown us into the arms of our monks; is it not true, that it is more natural to be more sensible to good than ill?” I assented.

“Should you make any difficulty,” continued she, “of enduring one disagreeable hour of the day, if you were certain of great happiness in the following hour?”

“No, certainly not,” said I.

“Very well then,” said she, “instead of an hour say a day; of two, one shall be for dullness, the other for pleasure; and I think you too prudent to refuse such a chance if you had the offer of it. I will even go further and say, that the most indifferent of men would not refuse it, and the cause is very clear. Pleasure is the 'primum mobile' of all human actions, though disguised under a thousand different names, according to the characters of men, and in this particular there is as great a variety among our sex; but in them the love of pleasure is an overwhelming passion; even their most indifferent actions as well as their most serious thoughts spring from this common source, and always bear, however they be disguised, the mark or stamp of their origin. Nature has given us stronger desires, and consequently much more difficult to satisfy than yours. A few strums are sufficient to exhaust a man, while they only animate us; say six, but a woman can stand above twice than number. The sentiment of pleasure is then twice as powerful in a woman as in a man; and if you should think yourself fortunate could you purchase one day of joy by a day of anxiety, do you think it strange that I am content with a double portion. Should you be surprised at my passing two-thirds of my life in pain that I might pass the other in pleasure? I have supposed an equality between us; when you see us continually occupied with what composes the sovereign happiness of woman, when we are continually in your arms, tell me, do you think it possible for us to think of the pain, or that it can have any influence over us? Shall you not find our condition a thousand times more agreeable than that of those unfortunate girls, who, though born with passions as violent as other women, linger in solitude under pressure of desires that no man might satisfy. Here we fear nothing; free from all the inquietudes of life, we have only its charms; we have the delights of love without anything to counterbalance them, and we only perceive the difference of the days by the variety of pleasures they bring us. You are wrong. Father Silas, if you think us unhappy.”

I did not expect to hear such just reasoning from a girl that I deemed to be only capable of sensual pleasure. She seemed born for the occupation she had adopted; I profited by her propensity to love, and we gratified our passions at leisure.

Man is not always happy; I became melancholy; I was in sexual desire what Alexander was in ambition; I wanted to lie with every woman in all the world, and then to find a new one for the same purpose. I had always borne off the prize in our amorous combats, but from being the bravest, I soon sunk into the most backward. The continual enjoyment of pleasure had destroyed its piquancy, and I was with the sisters what a husband is to his wife. The indisposition of my mind soon affected my body; they reproached me bitterly with my indifference without any effect, and it required all the Prior's affection to induce me to go to the fish-house. He entreated our sisters to set about curing me, and they neglected nothing that might effect it. One who voluptuously reclined on a bed showed me her bosom; a little well formed leg, and thighs as white as snow, promised me a beautiful bower; another in the attitude of a woman who presents herself for the combat, showed how eager she was to be at it; and others, in different postures, tickling their slits, expressed by their sighs the pleasures they felt. Some stripped themselves, and exhibited everything without a veil. One leaning on a sofa would show me the reverse of the medal; another lying on a bed of black satin exposed the front; a third made me lie down on the floor between two chairs; and in this position I saw her work away with a dildo, while another was rogering stark naked close before me with a monk in the same condition; in short, they offered to my view the most lecherous images, sometimes all together, at others successively.

On some occasions they laid me down on a settee; one sister placed herself astride over my neck so that my chin was enveloped in her hair; another placed herself on my belly; a third on my thighs tried to introduce my instrument; two others were placed at my side, so that I held a quim in each hand; and one a my head leaned over and pressed my face between her bubbles; all were naked, all frigged, and all spent; my hands, my thighs, my belly, my neck, my staff, were perfectly inundated; I swam in spunk, but had none of my own to mix with it. This last ceremony, called the question extraordinary, was just as useless as the preceding ones: I was entirely given up, and my cure was left to nature.

Such was my condition, when one day as I was walking in the garden alone, and meditating on my unhappy destiny, I met Father Simeon, a profound character, who had grown grey in the service of Venus and Bacchus, and, like the ancient Nestor, had seen the inmates of the convent several times changed. He came up to me, and, embracing me, said:

“O my son, your grief is heavy, but do not be alarmed, I will cure you. Unlimited dissipation, my friend, has caused your indisposition; your diseased appetite must be stimulated by succulent dishes; a devotee is also necessary for you.”

I could not refrain from laughing at the phlegmatic manner with which the Father recommended such a course of treatment.

“You laugh,” said he; “but I speak seriously. You do not know these devotees, and are ignorant of their resources for rekindling fires when almost extinguished. I have experienced them myself. O happy days, whither have ye fled! No one speaks now of the vigorous Father Simeon.”

I could scarcely avoid a loud laugh, but the fear of offending him made me refrain.

“O my son,” continued he, “take advantage of your youth; the only means of arousing you from this lethargy is to put you on a regular diet; you must have a devotee: but for this purpose, you must have the liberty of confessing, and I will take on myself to obtain that for you of my lord Bishop.”

I thanked the Father, and without having much faith in his plan, I begged him to put it in execution, which he promised to do.

“But that is not all,” said he; “you must have a guide before you enter on this business, and I will take that duty on myself. You know, my son, that confession is a tradition of our ancestors, that is, of the priests and monks. I have always admired the profound genius of those eminent men who established the confessional. From that time the appearance of everything has changed; riches have been showered down upon us; and our wealth has increased under the shade of this august tribunal. Blessed be God. Amen.

“I will not dilate upon the excellence of a confessor's office; only be discreet, condescending, and indulgent to human weaknesses, and the women will adore you. I need not say what advantages you may draw from their favorable disposition towards you as regards your own fortune; that is your affair. I advise you to pluck without mercy those old bigots who come to your confessional less to reconcile themselves to God than to see a handsome monk. Be favorable to the pretty ones; I have always been so, and they paid me differently.

“A young girl, for instance, cannot make presents; although she can give her precious maidenhead: but it requires some address to obtain this jewel. Adhere to these young devotees, and they will cure you; but do not give way without moderation to the eagerness that the hope of your cure may inspire. There is less risk to take to a woman somewhat experienced, than to one whose passions have not triumphed over the prejudices of education. A woman understands you by half a word; her heart has already advanced half way to meet you. It is otherwise with a young girl; but if it is more difficult to conquer, the victory is more delightful. I will tell you how to proceed. You will find a natural propensity to love in all of them; the grand art is to know how to manage their inclinations. Many a one of very modest mien, with eyes always cast downwards and a demure air, has a heart full of love and ready to take fire at the slightest breath of Cupid. Speak to such a one and she will oppose but a feeble resistance to your first attacks; press on, and your victory is secure.

“There are others of a temperament less sprightly, less impetuous, who will give you more trouble. With these, you must make a judicious mixture of the caresses of the lover with the remonstrances of the director; stimulate their torpid feelings by proper conversation; and get all the information your position enables you to acquire respecting their advancement in the art of love; remove the veil which concealed from their view pleasures hitherto unknown to them; make known to them all the mysteries of love, and awaken their sensual passions by vivid pictures thereof; in short, use every available means to exhibit pleasure to them in the most seductive attitudes, and to excite their desires.

“You will perhaps object that it is difficult to succeed in so dangerous a career; but you will find it otherwise, nothing but address is requisite to ensure success. I confess it would be dangerous to inflame their passions, but have you not a thousand ways of conciliating their hearts and turning their heads? When you describe the pleasures of love, you must appear to do it with a design to prevent them from falling into the snares to which their youth exposes them; but you must be lengthy in your description of the evils and pass lightly over the consequences, and their reason will offer but a weak opposition to their impressions your descriptions make in their hearts. Assure them of being right with respect to the world. Make them sensible how foolish it is to keep too long a flower that will fade, that it is sweet to let it be plucked, and that its loss is imaginary. Add to all this that there are a thousand ways of preventing pregnancy-then examine their countenance, and you will find it inflamed. Let your hand fall on their bubbles; press them, and you will soon hear sighs, those faithful interpreters of the heart. Join your sighs with theirs, apply a kiss to the lips, and offer yourself to console their troubles. The avowal of what is passing in the heart begets confidence, and they no longer blush at being weak with the weak, but readily accept your offers.”

The discourse of Father Simeon had heated my imagination, and so much moved me that I no longer doubted of the feasibility of what I had at first taken for a joke, and I urged the good man to exert himself to obtain the requisite authority for me.

I was eager to see myself set up as a mediator between crime and pardon; I already anticipated the answer that some timorous girl might make me on the point of having eased herself, by means of her own fingers, from the lascivious itchings of an ardent temperament.

It was not long before I received the requisite authority from the bishop, thanks to the friendly zeal of Father Simeon. I have heard say of a great philosopher, that if he met an old woman in the street on first going out in the morning, he immediately returned and stayed within all day. I should have renounced my new vocation the very first day, had I followed this worthy's example; I kept my post however, and summoned up my courage to get through the wearisome task of hearing the tale of an old woman's peccadillos.

The old lady bored me with a deluge of gossip, which I returned by some few moral maxims so consoling that the old jade was quite delighted and would have given me some proofs of her satisfaction on the spot, if the grating had not been between us. As an indemnity, she vowed to me an attachment full proof against all the attempts of other directors to deprive me of her. I forgave her transports, for the advantage I thought it possible might accrue from her good will. This may lead to something, thought I, but soundings must first be taken. As I found she was a dreadful gabbler, I put her on the chapter of her family: at first she uttered strong invectives against a traitor of a husband, who carried elsewhere what he ought to have given her. She was wounded in the tenderest part. Then she railed at her son, who followed his father's example; but she had nothing but what was good to say of her daughter, whose sole occupation was work and prayer.

“Ah! My sister,” said I; “you are indeed blessed thus to see yourself live again in your daughter! Does she come to our church? How edified should I be to see her!”

“You see her here every day; she is as pretty as devout, but why talk of beauty to you who are saints? You despise all such trumpery.”

“My sister, do you think us so dull and wicked as not to admire the beautiful works of God, above all, when what they have of earthly is purified by such heavenly virtues?”

The good dame, all enthusiasm at the turn I had given my curiosity, described this saint to me, and I recognised in her sketch a lovely brunette who attended our services. Father Simeon, said I to myself, here is one of your devotees; let me take care of this one, she may perhaps make you a prophet. For fear of arousing the old dame's suspicions I did not ask her to use her influence to place her daughter among the number of my penitents, leaving it for another chance; I gave her absolution for the past and present, and should not have refused it for the future, had she asked it, as it is not a very expensive article. I engaged her, however, to come and refresh herself often in the waters of penitence. Thus ended my first confessional adventure.

I imagine, my dear reader, that I hear you exclaim, “Well done, lascivious monk, you are now on the right road, and will soon effect a perfect cure, if all goes on well.” Yes, yes; the sanctity of the character I have just assumed begins already to operate. Blessed be God! How powerful is his grace! I stand enough now to convince me that I shall soon stand more.

I did not fail to attend prayers next day: you may easily divine the reason. I saw my brunette praying with all her might. There she is! said I, a charming girl, a model of all the virtues. What a pleasure to crack such a delicious morsel! How ravishing the thought of giving her the first lesson in love! The confessional for ever! I am cured! I stand like a Carmelite friar: (why not say a Celestine, are not they as good as the rest?) But I see my devout one looks at me; can her mother have spoken to her about me? Quick, quick! Let us relieve the burning of the internal fire by a little rubbing! The rolling of the eyes produced by this occupation was taken for excess of devotion. The pleasure that I had in frigging myself while contemplating my devotee was the earnest of what would be mine if I could have something more of her than the mere sight. I taxed my address for means to procure this happiness, which in a few days' time fell into my power by chance.

One day I went out of the convent, and when I returned, at nightfall, the porter told me, as he opened the door, that a young lady was waiting for me in the parlor. I instantly went thither, and how great was my rapture and surprise on recognising my devotee! As soon as she saw me, she fell at my feet.

“Take pity on me!” said she weeping.

“What is the matter?” said I, lifting her up. “Speak: the Lord is merciful, he sees your tears; open your heart to his minister.”

As she tried to speak, she fell into my arms in a swoon. What was I to do! I thought of calling for help, but reflection prevented me, by suggesting that I might never have a better opportunity. I laid her on a sofa and unlaced her corset, which gave me a sight of her bosom, and a finer I had never seen; as I lifted up her gown and shift, it seemed like the entrance of paradise: I soon fastened my mouth on hers, and took a blissful kiss. I proceeded to put my arms round her and press her to my breast; a sudden palpitation seized me, I let go of her and stood a moment to contemplate. I then blew out the light, and taking her in my arms, gained my chamber unperceived with the beautiful burden.

Heavens! How light it seemed! When I had laid her down on the bed, I relighted the candle, and gazed on her again. I uncovered her bosom, drew up her petticoats, opened her thighs, examining and admiring her secret charms. What a spectacle! Love and the graces embellished her person. Fair, fat, and firm, everything was there to charm the eye. Tired of admiring without enjoying, I put my mouth and my hands upon the beauties I had been so earnestly gazing on; but I had scarcely touched her, when she sighed, and put her hand where she felt mine. I kissed her on the mouth, and she tried to pull away my hand, and make an entry with her finger. My ardor produced the same effect on me, and I kept my hold. She tried to break from my embrace, which I opposed, and she fell backwards; but raised herself up in a passion, and tried to scratch my face, beside biting and kicking, but nothing stopped me. I extended myself on her person, and left her hands free to do whatever her fury inspired, employing mine to part her thighs, which she so obstinately pressed together as to make me despair. Fury increased her strength, passion lessened mine; a decisive struggle was necessary, so I summoned all my energies and succeeded in opening her thighs; in a moment my tool had found its destined lodgings; I pushed in; it went, and all the rage of my devotee vanished away; she hugged me, kissed me, shut her eyes and swooned. I no longer knew what I was doing, but kept pushing away, till I spent and flooded my lady. She also discharged, and there we both lay insensible, quite absorbed in pleasure.

My companion had no sooner recovered her senses that she invited me by her caresses to replunge her in that sweet delirium from which she had just escaped. When we had drained the cup of pleasure to the very dregs, I went down into the kitchen to fetch something to repair the forces of a sick person, which I pretended was myself. When I returned to my chamber I found my devotee very low-spirited! I soon partially raised her spirits by kind attentions, and determined after our repast to learn the cause of her sadness. We supped without making any noise, for fear of a discovery, and lest my treasure should be confiscated to the profit of the fish-house, agreeably to the rules of the order.

As we were fatigued, we felt more inclined to go to bed than to sit up and talk. We immediately did so, but as soon as we found ourselves naked in bed, repose fled far from us, I put my hand to her bower, and she did me a like service; admiring the size and firmness of my tool, she exclaimed:

“Ah! I am no longer surprised that you have reconciled me to the pleasure I had resolved to hate.”

I was less eager to ask why she had come to such an extraordinary resolution, than by giving her another taste of it, to prove how foolish it was ever to have formed it. She received me into her arms with inexpressible eagerness, and we hugged each other so closely that we could hardly breathe. The bed was scarcely able to bear the impression made on it by exertions, but began to crack horribly: an exquisite intoxication succeeded our efforts, and we fell asleep without changing position.

The dawn found us still asleep in this manner; and whether our imagination had caused an efflux of the delicious fluid which announces the internal fire, or whether we had discharged mechanically, we were inundated when we. awoke. We soon renewed our amusement, and I found myself in a condition to acquit myself like a monk. I will not detail to you how many times we indulged in these exercises, but will pass on to explain the circumstances that had thrown her into my arms.

She had an air of disquietude and sorrow that quite affected me; and I entreated her to open her heart to me, and be persuaded that I would remove her grief if it could by any possibility be done.

“Shall I lose your heart, my dear Silas, if I avow that you are not the first who had made me taste the joys of love? Satisfy me against a fear which oppresses my very soul, and which, in spite of myself, gives my countenance an air of sorrow I cannot conceal. Yes, that is the only fear that disturbs me at present; my own fate occupies me not, now I have you.”

“Can you then,” said I, “distrust the charms that you offer to my eyes? Little do you know their value if you doubt their power! Yes, the ardor with which they inspire me is too strong not to feel indignant at such a fear. Ah! Little do you know me! If a ridiculous prejudice had made a difference between a girl that has been poked and one that is to be poked, I have not adopted it. Ought the beauty which has charmed others to lose its right to please us also? Had you done it with all the Earth, are you not still the same? Are you not a lovely girl, and all precious in my eyes? Have the pleasures that you conferred on others diminished the piquancy of those I have enjoyed?”

“Your words console me,” said she; “and I will now proceed to lay before you the troubles from which you have so unexpectedly and so agreeably relieved me.”

She then began her relation as follows:

Beauregard de Farniente

The Adventures of Father Silas