"Ian Watson & Roberto Quaglia - Beloved Vampire of the Blood Comet" - читать интересную книгу автора (Watson Ian)

Paris! Forget photography, since flash offended Silviu’s eyes and in any case nothing of him appeared on
any photos despite the longest exposure in the dim palazzo. After I’d been awake only nocturnally for a
few months, my flesh grew white as alabaster, which Silviu liked.

And he told such wonderful bed-time stories. Never before did I know that Marie Antoinette was a
vampire. “Qu’ils mangent dusangfroid,” is what she really said about the bread riots in Paris, not de
labrioche. ‘Sangfroids’ were a favourite speciality made to a recipe of Grimod de La Reynière – little
cold blood-puddings that looked like buns. So she making an elegant pun. Due to my comparative
inactivity, aside from wonderful orgasms at dawn and dusk, I had to be careful not to put on weight.
Consequently delicacies were essential, being delicate. Silviu himself only ever ate sparcely, to restore
trace elements which his body lost.




“Where were we, my little dove? Ah yes, in outer space, heading for the Moon in a spaceship of
best-quality armour powered and steered by the paranormal avoidance of impalement.”

“Would the armour be from Milan? Would it be called ‘Avant’ armour?”

I knew a bit about armour because I’d taken a lot of photos of armour for an ad campaign: Tough Guys
Wear Condoms Too. The erect penis of the male model wearing a condom had stuck out through a
special hole in the miniskirt of chainmail. We had to show him a turkey porn movie before he erected.
There was just no other way to get through to him. And then, the first time, he jammed – but at least the
condom didn’t tear, which pleased the manufacturers. By turkey I don’t mean it was a bad movie. It was
about sex with a turkey, digi-animated. By then it was too late to hire a different male model whose
childhood au pair hadn’t played with him during Disney cartoons.

“My pigeon, I told you it was Gothic armour – so that means made in Germany. Well, after three days
we landed near the South Pole on the backside of the Moon during the lunar night that lasts a fortnight,
and we discovered the frozen lake produced by the blood comet.”

“Wait a minute, Silviu. I understand how you took off, but how did you land? Did you threaten the
drivers with being unimpaled or anti-impaled or whatever the word is?”

“No no, we steered the ship by turning the main driver around until we were over the place we wanted,
and upright. Then Vlad buggered the driver. This was such a relief after the sensation of the stake that the
driver felt more relaxed. So the paranormal levitation became less than the Moon’s gravity. We sank
down gently, controlled by Vlad’s thrusts and withdrawals.”

“Quite a man, Vlad.”

“Much misunderstood. The first space commander.”

“How come Vlad’s dead penis stiffened for buggery, whereas yours doesn’t?”

“That, my dove, is the measure of what sort of dead man Vlad was! He alone fulfills the prophecy, The
Dead Shall Rise. He was out of this world.”
“Was? Did he die on the Moon? I mean, did he expire?”