"Robert Rankin - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robert Rankin)

`I know I'm going to hate myself for asking,' said Soap, `but why is he going to sue the surgeon?'

`Well,' said Dave. `What with all the blood and it being an emergency operation and everything, it was
the kind of mistake anyone could make. Especially if you're Mr Fowler.'

`What, fumble-fingers Fowler? He's not still in practice, is he? I thought he was struck off years ago.'

`He probably will be this time. He sewed the manager s knob end on upside down.'

`I think I'll go for a walk,' said Soap. `I feel a little queasy.

`I'll come with you,' said Dave.

`I'll stay here,' said Soap.

`Just one thing, Dave,' said Omally. `Why exactly were you locked in a suitcase?'

`Because I escaped from the police cell. I squeezed through the bars. They caught me again and locked
me in a suitcase and that's when I overheard them talking about the Penistry. The policemen were having
a good old laugh about the manager's future prospects being cut short.'

`I still think it's a wind-up,' said John, applying him-self to his pint.

`You should sue the police, Dave,' said Soap. `Locking you in a suitcase must be against the Geneva
Convention, or something.'

`I think I'll pass on that. There was some further unpleasantness after I made my escape from the
suit-case. I put a bit more work Fowler's way. But the Penist said that I'd have happy times ahead.'

`Hold on,' said Omally. `You mean to say that you actually went to see this woman?'

`I had a consultation, yes.'

`And she gave you a-- `

`Reading. She gave me a reading. She was a very nice woman. Warm hands, she had. She said she saw
a long and happy future stretching out in front of me.'

`Itis a wind-up,' said Soap. `It's just an excuse for a lot of cheap knob gags.'

`It isnot a wind-up.' Small Dave gnashed his teeth.

Soap and John took a step back apiece.
`It isnot a wind-up. She said she saw me galloping to glory and I'm sure she would have told me a lot
more if she'd been able to make herself heard above all the noise.'

`You ask him, John,' said Soap. `I don't like to.' Omally shrugged. `What noise, Dave?' he asked. `The
noise the policemen were making, shouting through the loudhailers. All that "Come out with your hands
up" stuff And the helicopter circling overhead.'