"01 - Armageddon, the Musical (b)" - читать интересную книгу автора (Rankin Robert)

'It still sounds a bit iffy, even if it was possible, I can't see how we are going to get away with it.'

Fergus did a bit of smiling. 'Back in the eighties there was a soap opera on Earth. It was very big indeed, but the producers made a grave mistake by killing off one of its most popular characters. In order to revive viewing figures they did likewise to him a series or two later, by simply having him turn up in the shower one morning as if nothing had happened. It was then revealed that the last umpteen episodes had just been his wife's bad dream.'

Looks of disbelief were passed around the table. Some­one said, 'Come on now.'

'As true as I'm standing here,' said Fergus, 'I won't mention the name of the series, but the Earthers are still watching it now. Although it is presently set in a millionaire's bunker and has only three characters left. My plan is a case of life imitating art. After all the viewers consider The Earthers to be a real-life drama.'

'Which it is,' said Mungo Madoc.

32

'And so there you have it. Presley for president, the Nuclear Holocaust Event postponed for another hundred years, the Armageddon Sequence for another thousand. I'm not saying that this Presley is the all-round good guy; on the contrary, his reign as president will be a colourful affair. Plenty of sex and drugs and rock and roll.'

Wisten grinned enthusiastically. 'Sounds good to me.'

'Sounds good to me,' Mungo agreed. 'But I foresee certain small flaws in the scheme. Firstly, as we all know, the Earthers are a contrary bunch. One can never rely on them to carry the plot. We come up with all kinds of grand scenarios but they inevitably cock it up. Sometimes I wonder who is running this show, them or us.'

'There are no absolutes in this business, I agree, but I have done my research, and barring some, dare I say it, act of God, I'm certain that it will work. I have all the facts and figures right here. You are all welcome to look them over.'

'As indeed we will.' Mungo stroked the table-top with a wan digit. 'But there is one minor point that I should like to raise. It's a small matter, but one which I think shouldn't be overlooked.'

'Oh yes,' said Fergus, 'and that is?'

'That is the simple matter that time travel is an impossibility, you craven buffoon!'

Fergus shook his head. He was still smiling. 'Not any more,' said he, winking lewdly. 'Not with the latest miracle of modern horticulture.'

He dug into his trouser pocket and brought out a spherical green object, which he reverently laid before him on the table.

'Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce you to THE time sprout!'

'Pleased to be here,’ said the vegetable in question.

33

A stairway to oblivion is better than no stairway at all. The Suburban Book of the Dead

The interview with Ms Vrillium went remarkably well, all things considered. Rex put this down to the element of surprise. He had evidently earned some big kudos in getting past the receptionist. Now he listened with growing interest as the nature of his post was outlined to him.

'Religious affairs correspondent,' said Ms Vrillium. 'As you are no doubt well aware, Buddhavision is the biggest of the Big Three stations. We are a religious organisation, linked to Buddha Biological and Buddha Wholefoods International. It is our duty to bring enlightenment to the-masses. This we do by providing superior entertainment, embodying elements of theological doctrine couched in terms that the layman can understand. Am I making myself clear?'

'Absolutely,' said Rex. What an ugly woman, he thought.

'You are practising, aren't you?'

'I'm trying my hardest.' Their eyes met. 'Ah, I see, a practising Buddhist. Yes, cross my heart.'

'Adherence to doctrine must forever be uppermost in your . . . mind.'