"Ryan Mathews - Bubblegum Cards" - читать интересную книгу автора (Mathews Ryan)

Mega-Yonkers 2038 : The Story of Knight Foils

BUBBLE GUM CARDS

by

Ryan Mathews

An Irreverent, Irrelevant Parody

[Opening scene: A television commercial. A big, blue Buma dances
around the house while a song plays.]

SONG
If you're tired and bored with household deeds,
A GE Buma is what you need
Cleans your house and cooks the food
A GE Buma is one cool dude!

ANNOUNCER
Ladies! Is household drudgery getting you down? Then invest in a GE
Buma! The latest in household appliances! Just look at all it can
do! It can cook!
[A Buma flips pancakes]
It can clean!
[A Buma scrubs floors]
It can get rid of pests!
[A Buma catches rats and cockroaches and eats them]
It can get rid of salesmen!

SALESMAN
Hello! Can I interest you in some encyclopedias---ARRRRGGHHH!!
[The Buma shoves the sample case down the saleman's throat.]

ANNOUNCER
Why, it'll even wash windows!

BUMA
Grrrrrrr...

ANNOUNCER
Haha! Well, it'll do *almost* anything! And right now with prices
starting as low as Y2,000,000, there's no better time to buy! Ask
your GE dealer for financing deals! That's the new Buma! From GE,
Genom Electric!

[The channel changes and the screen switches to a kitchen, with a
certain female PBS chef and a male assistant.]

ANNOUNCER