"Chevalier, Tracy - Girl with a Pearl Earring" - читать интересную книгу автора (Chevalier Tracy)

"What I have to say can be said in front of anyone. I have nothing to hide." He tossed his head, his blond curls falling around his ears.
I could see he would not be silenced. He would say what I dreaded he would say in front of them all.
Pieter did not raise his voice, but we all heard his words. "I've spoken to your father this morning, and he has agreed that we may marry now you are eighteen. You can leave here and come to me. Today."
I felt my face go hot, whether from anger or shame I was not sure. Everyone was waiting for me to speak.
I drew in a deep breath. "This is not the place to talk about such things," I replied severely. "Not in the street like this. You were wrong to come here." I did not wait for his response, though as I turned to go back inside he looked stricken.
"Griet!" he cried.
I pushed past Tanneke, who spoke so softly that I was not sure I heard her right. "Whore."
I ran up the stairs to the studio. He was still standing at the window as I shut the door. "I am sorry, sir," I said. "I'll just change my cap."
He did not turn round. "He is still there," he said.
When I returned, I crossed to the window, though I did not stand too close in case Pieter could see me again with my head wrapped in blue and yellow.
My master was not looking down at the street any longer, but at the New Church tower. I peeked—Pieter was gone.
I took my place in the lion-head chair and waited.
When he turned at last to face me, his eyes were masked. More than ever, I did not know what he was thinking.
"So you will leave us," he said.
"Oh, sir, I do not know. Do not pay attention to words said in the street like that."
"Will you marry him?"
"Please do not ask me about him."
"No, perhaps I should not. Now, let us begin again." He reached around to the cupboard behind him, picked up an earring, and held it out to me.
"I want you to do it." I had not thought I could ever be so bold.
Nor had he. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, but did not say anything.
He stepped up to my chair. My jaw tightened but I managed to hold my head steady. He reached over and gently touched my earlobe.
I gasped as if I had been holding my breath under water.
He rubbed the swollen lobe between his thumb and finger, then pulled it taut. With his other hand he inserted the earring wire in the hole and pushed it through. A pain like fire jolted through me and brought tears to my eyes.
He did not remove his hand. His fingers brushed against my neck and along my jaw. He traced the side of my face up to my cheek, then blotted the tears that spilled from my eyes with his thumb. He ran his thumb over my lower lip. I licked it and tasted salt.
I closed my eyes then and he removed his fingers. When I opened them again he had gone back to his easel and taken up his palette.
I sat in my chair and gazed at him over my shoulder. My ear was burning, the weight of the pearl pulling at the lobe. I could not think of anything but his fingers on my neck, his thumb on my lips.
He looked at me but did not begin to paint. I wondered what he was thinking.
Finally he reached behind him again. "You must wear the other one as well," he declared, picking up the second earring and holding it out to me.
For a moment I could not speak. I wanted him to think of me, not of the painting.
"Why?" I finally answered. "It can't be seen in the painting."
"You must wear both," he insisted. "It is a farce to wear only one."
"But—my other ear is not pierced," I faltered.
"Then you must tend to it." He continued to hold it out.
I reached over and took it. I did it for him. I got out my needle and clove oil and pierced my other ear. I did not cry, or faint, or make a sound. Then I sat all morning and he painted the earring he could see, and I felt, stinging like fire in my other ear, the pearl he could not see.
The clothes soaking in the kitchen went cold, the water grey. Tanneke clattered in the kitchen, the girls shouted outside, and we behind our closed door sat and looked at each other. And he painted.
When at last he set down his brush and palette, I did not change position, though my eyes ached from looking sideways. I did not want to move.
"It is done," he said, his voice muffled. He turned away and began wiping his palette knife with a rag. I gazed at the knife—it had white paint on it.
"Take off the earrings and give them back to Maria Thins when you go down," he added.
I began to cry silently. Without looking at him, I got up and went into the storeroom, where I removed the blue and yellow
cloth from my head. I waited for a moment, my hair out over my shoulders, but he did not come. Now that the painting was finished he no longer wanted me.
I looked at myself in the little mirror, and then I removed the earrings. Both holes in my lobes were bleeding. I blotted them with a bit of cloth, then tied up my hair and covered it and my ears with my cap, leaving the tips to dangle below my chin.
When I came out again he was gone. He had left the studio door open for me. For a moment I thought about looking at the painting to see what he had done, to see it finished, the earring in place. I decided to wait until night, when I could study it without worrying that someone might come in.
I crossed the studio and shut the door behind me.
I always regretted that decision. I never got to have a proper look at the finished painting.
Catharina arrived back only a few minutes after I had handed the earrings to Maria Thins, who immediately replaced them in the jewelry box. I hurried to the cooking kitchen to help Tanneke with dinner. She would not look at me straight, but gave me sideways glances, occasionally shaking her head.
He was not at dinner — he had gone out. After we had cleared up I went back to the courtyard to finish rinsing the laundry. I had to haul in new water and reheat it. While I worked Catharina slept in the great hall. Maria Thins smoked and wrote letters in the Crucifixion room. Tanneke sat in the front doorway and sewed. Maertge perched on the bench and made lace. Next to her Aleydis and Lisbeth sorted their shell collection.
I did not see Cornelia.
I was hanging up an apron when I heard Maria Thins say, "Where are you going?" It was the tone of her voice rather than what she said that made me pause in my work. She sounded anxious.
I crept inside and along the hallway. Maria Thins was at the foot of the stairs, gazing up. Tanneke had come to stand in the front doorway, as she had earlier that day, but facing in and following the look of her mistress. I heard the stairs creak, and the sound of heavy breathing. Catharina was pulling herself up the stairs.
In that moment I knew what was going to happen—to her, to him, to me.