"CLAW" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

reached the point of central airconditioning, from which there is no turning
back. Most of them can no longer locate their Grateful Dead albums.

So now everybody except Ralph Nader is strongly pro-business. People
who, only a few years back, would have hurled pig blood at Lee Iacocca for
some symbolic protest reason or another now think he should run for president.
What this means for you is: This is a GREAT TIME for you to get into business.
And don't worry about qualifications: ANYBODY can make it in the business
world. All you really need is a little gumption, a willingness to work, some
common sense, and a brother-in-law who is Vice-President in Charge of
Personnel.

Ha ha! Another business-related joke! This is gonna be some fun,
getting you a job, all right!

STEP ONE: SETTING YOUR GOALS

The first step toward your successful business career is to determine
your Career Objectives. To do these things, you'll need a nice sharp
number-two pencil and some three-by-five cards. I'll wait right here while
you go get them, okay? I'll meet you underneath the asterisks on the next
page! Hurry back! This is going to be exciting!

(Brief pause.)

The point of the preceding paragraph, obviously, was to get rid of the
totally hopeless dweebs who actually think they need three-by-five cards to
determine their Career Objectives. These are the same people who you just
know are going to write down things like:

1. I would like to work with people.

Which of course is a joke, because it is a proven fact that the more you
work with people, the more you hate them. Look at the clerks at any big-city
Bureau of Motor Vehicles: They work with people all day long, and their basic
approach to human interaction is to make you wait in line as long as possible
and then tell you you're in the wrong line, in hopes that you'll have a very
painful and ultimately fatal seizure, and they'll get to watch.

So you savvy persons have ruled out "working with people" as a Career
Objective. What you want, from your career, is a SENSE OF FULFILLMENT AS A
HUMAN BEING and MAXIMUM PERSONAL SATISFACTION as measured in U.S. DOLLARS.
You want a Rolex watch and numerous fast cars. You want employees so
desperate for your approval that you could put your cigar out on their
foreheads and they'd thank you. You want to be able to leave Supreme Court
justices on "hold" for upwards of an hour. And you know that you do not get
these things by diddling around with three-by-five cards.

Welcome back! Got your cards? Great! Now first, I'd like you to write
down, on each card, a Career Objective, such as "working with people." Okay?