"Asprin, Robert - Myth 09 - M.Y.T.H Inc. In Action" - читать интересную книгу автора (Asprin Robert)

Sergeant Smiley was teachin' this section himself, which did not strike me as odd until later, as he obviously had more than passin' familiarity with the techniques we was to learn. He homed in on the Flie brothers as his demonstrator /victims, and had great fun showin' us all that size was not a factor in hand- to-hand combat by tossin' and punchin' 'em both around with impressive ea se... Or, put differently, he really made them fly-while all this was great fun to watch, I could not help thinkin' that the lesson he was at te MPtin' to drive home stank higher than the "Realistic doggie doodle with Lifelike aroma that Actually sticks to Your hands" that I was so familiar with. I mean, I wonder if he really thought he was foolin' anyone with his "size doesn't make a difference" spiel. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that size can make a considerable difference in a physical-type difference of opinion, as one honest to goodness fight will usually demonstrate this fact clearly enough to convince even the

Of course, even if one accepts the "skill over size" concept, there is still a glarin' flaw in the sergeant's logic. Remember how long I said it would take to train someone with a longbow? (No, this isn't gonna be a test... I was just as kin'.) Well, it takes even longer to train someone to be skillful at hand-to-hand. A lot longer. The idea that someone like the Spellin' Bee could absorb enough skill in one afternoon to be effective against one of the Flie brothers, however unskilled, is laughable. Realizin' this, it was clear to me that even though he said we was bein' prepared for combat with the enemy, all he was doin' was showin' us a few tricks to help us survive the inevitable barroom type brawls which seem to naturally gravitate toward people in uniform who are tryin' to have a quiet drink around civilians durin' their off-duty hours. Simply put, we was bein' trained to de al with unskilled civilian-type fighters, prefer ably blind staggerin' drunk, rather than against skilled soldier-type fighters i

"... Of course, these are techniques which will en able you to dispatch an unarmed opponent!" Sergeant Smiley was sayin', which was again misleadin' as none of the countermoves he was demonstratin' were lethal enough to "dispatch " anyone, confirmin' my belief that someone was figurin' we'd only use them on civilians.

"... To de al with an armed opponent, however, is a different matter entirely! Fortunately, we have an expert with us to demonstrate how that is Done! Guido! Front and center!"

"Me, Sergeant?" I blinks, as I had not expected to be called upon.

"That's right," the sergeant sez, showin' some extra teeth in his smile. "At the firing range you made a big point that only jerks have to kill people, well, here's your chance to show everybody how to' gentle' an enemy in to submission when he's trying to kill you."

Needless to say, I Don't care for the sounds of this, but as I have been summoned, I have little choice but to step forward in to the clear space bein' used for the demonstrations. My discomfort grows as the sergeant gestures to Corporal Whittle, who tosses him a short sword. That's right, a real short sword... With a point and sharpened edges.

"What's with the sword, Sergeant?" I sez.

"I said this was going to be a demonstration against an armed opponent," he grins. "What we're going to do is I'm going to try to kill you, and you're going to try to stop me without killing me."

"... And if I Don't?"

"Then I guess we'll have us a little' training accident'... Unless, of course, you'd rather just back out now and admit you can't do it."

Needless to say, I did not obtain my current lofty position as bodyguard by backin' away from fights. What's more, the sword wasn't my real worry as it is no thin' more than a long knife, and I've dealt with knives often enough.

"Oh, I can do it," I shrugs. "The trouble is it might involve striking a non-commissioned officer... Which I seem to recall from our Military law lesson is a no-no."

The sergeant's smile fades a bit, and I realize he has been expectin' me to withdraw from this exercise when he feeds me the cue. Unfortunately for both of us, this realization comes a little late to do us any good.

"Don't worry about that, 'cruit" he sez, though I notice his voice has gotten tighter. "Even if you get real lucky and tag me, you're acting under orders so no charges will be brought."

That was all I needed to hear. As a last precaution, I glance back at Nunzio where he's standin' in line, and he gives me a little nod with his head.

"Your cousin can't help you now. Guido," Smiley snaps, regainin' a bit of confidence. "This is between you and me."

That wasn't why I was checkin' with Nunzio, but I have no trouble goin' with the flow, bein' real adaptable when the music is startin' and I am one of the designated dancers.

"I was just wonderin'," I sez with a shrug. "It's nice to know you know I'd be under orders. The question is whether or not that officer knows it."

Now the sergeant is no dummy and I really Don't expect him to fall for the old "there's someone behind you " gag... But he does. It isn't until much later that I find out non-coms have a real thing about officers. That is, they are comfortable runnin' the army... Unless there is an officer somewhere in witnessin' range. Any way, Smiley down cranin' his neck around tryin' to spot the officer to which I am referrin', and when his head is turned away from me, I glide in on him.

If this tactic sounds a little strange to you, realize that if someone waves a sharpened hunk of metal at you, the last thing they are expectin' is for you to charge them. What you are supposed to do is freeze up, or better yet run, thereby givin' them a MPle leisure time to carve their initials on whatever portion of your anatomy is handiest. When you move forward instead of back, it tends to startle them, and they usually react by pokin' at you with their weapon to try to get you to back off like the script says. This is really what you want, as it has put you in control of their attack and lets you bring it in where and when you want it instead of just standin' and ho pin' they'll go away while they play around on their own timetable.

The sergeant sees me comin' out of the corner of his eye, and, just like I expect, he sticks his sword out like he's ho pin' I'll run in to it and save him the trouble of havin' to plan and execute an attack of his own. This makes it easy for me to weave past his point and latch onto the wrist of his sword arm with my left hand, which keeps the weapon out of mischief and me, whilst I give him a medium strength pop under the ear with my right fist.

It was my genuine hope that this would end the affair without further waltzin', but the sergeant is still a pretty tough old bird and it only crosses his eyes and drops him to one knee. I realize the situation has just become dangerous, as he still has hold of his sword and in his dazed condition may not remember that this is only an exercise... If that was his original intention at all.

"Give it up, Sarge, " I hisses quiet-like, steppin' in close so's only he can hear me. "It's over."

Just to be on the safe side I wind his arm up a little as I am sayin' this to prove my point. Unfortunately, he either doesn't hear me or chooses to ignore what you must admit is excellent advice, and down strugglin' around tryin' to bring his sword in to play.