"Dawns Prelude" - читать интересную книгу автора (Peterson Tracie)

Chapter 23

Evie made her way downstairs. She was due at a meeting of the Kansas City Orphans and Widows Association, where she and many others of society's finest would share refreshments and determine how best to help those in need.

She sent for the carriage and allowed the butler to help her with her coat. Evie was just doing up the buttons when Thomas crossed the hall and spotted her.

"My dear, where are you headed on this cold afternoon

"I'm going to my meeting for the widows and orphans. Remem- her? I told you about it at breakfast this morning."

He considered her statement for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I do recall that." He gave her a disinterested nod, then said to the butler, "Miles, don't forget to have the carriage brought round for me at eleven."

"Yes, sir," the man replied with a curt nod.

Evic pulled on her gloves. "If anyone comes to call, tell them I'll he receiving later today-after two."

"Very good, madam." He opened the door for her and offered to assist her. "Shall I see you to the carriage?"

"No thank you, Miles. I'll be just fine."

Evic felt the bite of the February air and buried her face in her coat. The coachman opened the door of the enclosed carriage and helped her aboard. Evie settled into the leather upholstery with her face still tucked low as the door was secured.

"I can help keep you warm," a voice whispered.

Startled, she looked up to find Trayton Payne sitting opposite her. He quickly came to her side just as the driver put the carriage in motion.

"What are you doing here?" She saw his serious expression turn to one of amusement as he pulled her close.

"What do you suppose?" He silenced any reply by kissing her.

Evic tried to push him away at first. Trayton, however, would have no part of that. He only tightened his hold and pressed kisses against her jaw and ear.

"I've missed you," he whispered.

"Stop this," she said, although she hardly sounded convincing.

You don't really want me to stop," he said matter-of-factly.

Evic knew he spoke the truth. The worst of it was that he knew how she felt. She didn't want him to stop. She thrilled to his touch, his attention.

You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes upon." He gently fingered a wisp of hair at her temple. "Beautiful and intelligent. Most women cannot boast of both. Some cannot even claim one or the other. How unique to find it all in you."

"Why are you here?" she said, her voice barely audible.

"I heard that you were going out this morning. I slipped into the carriage when the driver was otherwise occupied." He eased his hold and grinned. "Are you sorry that I did so?"

She didn't move from his embrace. For a moment, she considered lying, but then shook her head. "I regret only that I am not free to receive your attention." She looked away immediately, realizing she'd said too much. Embarrassed by her words, she hurried to change the subject but chose the wrong topic. "It's certainly cold today."

"I can make you feel warm," he said with a low chuckle. Trayton took up a lap blanket and spread it out slowly, leaning over to tuck it around her snugly

Evie trembled at his nearness. This was madness. She was a married woman, and despite the fact that her husband showed her no attention or affection, adultery was still frowned upon by those in society. Of course, it wasn't frowned upon for men just women. A woman could be lonely and as desperate for love as she was, and still an affair would be scandalous news. She would be ostracized-rejected completely-and her only guilt would be that she desired to feel loved. Well, maybe not her only guilt.

"I seem to have lost your attention. I must try harder to keep your thoughts on me," Trayton said, pulling her back against him.

A very small part of her wanted to fight him-to say no and demand he leave her alone. But one look into his dark eyes and Evie knew the situation was hopeless. She was being seduced, and she felt helpless to stop herself.

"I have a wonderful plan. Thomas is sending me to Chicago on business. Why don't you come with me? I can act as your chaperone, and we can be together without worrying about the ever watchful eye of busybodies."

Evie's mind whirled with a thousand thoughts. "How would I ever explain my going to Chicago?"

"You love to travel, and you're bored. It's winter, and you need to get away for something different. If we plan it right, you can ask him while in my presence, and I can suggest you travel with me.

"I don't know." Evie put her hand to her head. Things were moving too fast.

"Oh, Evie, you deserve better than what Thomas gives you. I see the way he ignores you. I see the hurt in your eyes when he passes you by without much more than a single glance."

"You do?" she said in disbelief.

His hand caressed her cheek. "I do. I see that and more. He truly has no regard for anyone or anything except his money and business affairs. He doesn't understand your needs."

"And you think you do?"

He grinned. "I suppose you could best answer that. For example, how does this meet your need?" He kissed her again.

Evie shivered from the intensity of his touch. She felt him pull her onto his lap, and she did nothing to stop him. Cradled in his arms, she lost all rational thought. There was only this moment and Trayton. Nothing else mattered.

Kjell wandered down Lincoln Street, desperately trying to figure out how he would tell Lydia about Dalton. She was still unconscious, but the doctor was seeing signs that she was starting to come hack to them. The army had found no other wreckage or sign of loann or the baby but remained confident that they were lost. Captain Briar saw no reason to send word to Kansas City authorities, as they had no proof that Marston Gray had been involved.

He made his way hack to the hospital as a gentle rain started to fall. The slate-colored skies meant it would most likely rain off and on all day. There was no sign of a break in the clouds for as far as Kjell could see, and the heaviness of the sky only served to deepen his sadness.

"There you are," Zerelda said as he entered the hospital's foyer. Were you able to manage things at the mill?"

Kjcll had told her that he was going to the mill in order to finish out several invoices, but in truth he'd never made it that far. "I lost track of time and never got there," he admitted. "What did the doctor say about your wound?"

"He told me I have a hard head and that I'm doingjust fine." She took hold of his arm. "I'm going to head home and make us a nice supper. When do you plan to be there?"

Glancing around the entryway, he shook his head. "I don't know, Zee. I hate to leave Lydia."

"I know you do. Just come home for supper and then you can come right hack."

Kjell looked past her to the stairs. "I suppose."

Zerclda reached out and took hold of his arm. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I just don't know what to tell her about Dalton." Zerelda nodded and Kjell met her gaze. "I just don't think he's dead. The army has found no definitive proof. I have to believe that Gray was behind all of this."

"But what can you do to prove it one way or the other?" Zee asked. "How can we keep clinging to hope when there is no evidence that Dalton is still alive?"

"That's why we have to find out for sure."

"But how?"

Kjell squared his shoulders. "I'm not sure, but-"

"Kjell! Zerelda!" Dr. Ensign called to them from the top of the steps. "It's Lydia. She's waking up."

Kjell bounded up the stairs, taking the steps two at time. He completely forgot about Zerelda and rushed past the doctor and into the ward. He could see Lydia stirring and went to her side.

"Liddie? Darling, I'm here. Talk to me," he pleaded.

Slowly, Lydia opened her eyes and blinked hard several times. She looked at him oddly, obviously confused by her state. "Water." She croaked the word.

Kjell reached over to the pitcher and poured a glass of water. "Here, let me help you." He put his arm around her and lifted her just a bit to drink. She grimaced in pain but said nothing.

By now the doctor and Zerelda had joined them. As Kjell eased Lydia hack against the pillows, she looked from one person to the next. "Where… am I?"

"You're in the hospital," the doctor answered as he came to her side. "How do you feel?"

"I hurt," she said, reaching up to touch the place where her shoulder and neck connected. "What happened?"

Kjell and the doctor exchanged a glance. Everything in Kjell tensed. "What do you remember?" he asked.

Lydia shook her head. "I don't remember anything."

Her face seemed to contort, but whether from confusion or pain, Kjell couldn't he sure. He reached out and took hold of her hand. "It's all right, Liddie. You don't have to remember it all right now.

She looked at their entwined hands and then hack to Kjell's face. "Who are you?"

Looking at Zerelda and then to the doctor, Kjell felt his throat close up. "What do you mean you know who I am."

Lydia studied him for a moment, then looked at Zerelda, and finally Dr. Ensign. "I don't know any of you."

The doctor frowned. "You don't know your aunt your husband?"

"Husband?" Lydia stared at Kjell. "You're my husband?"

"I am." Kjell could barely speak.

Zerelda stepped closer. "Sweetheart, do you know who you are?"

Lydia seemed to consider this question for a moment, then shook her head. "No." She frowned and pulled her hand away from Kjell. "I have no idea." She tried to sit up.

"Don't," the doctor warned. "You'll tear your stitches and start bleeding again."

"I don't want to be here. I don't remember what happened." Lydia 's tone took on a definite sense of fear. "What's wrong with me?"

"There was a storm, and you were injured," the doctor said softly. "You were brought here to the hospital. Your wounds and the shock of their infliction have caused you to temporarily lose your memory. Don't be afraid. It sometimes happens."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I'm Dr. Ensign. I've been taking care of you."

She seemed to accept this and nodded ever so slightly before looking to Zerelda. "And you… you're my aunt?"

"I am, although you have become much more like a daughter to me."

"Where is my mother?"

Zerelda bit her lower lip and looked to the doctor. Kjell saw the man nod as if encouraging her to explain. "Your mother passed on a long time ago."

"She's dead?" Lydia questioned, putting her hand over her eyes. "Why can't I remember?"

"Don't fret, child. I've seen this kind of thing before. It will pass in time. You need to rest for now." Dr. Ensign motioned to Zerelda and Kjell to come with him. "I'll send the orderly in with something to calm your nerves."

Lydia said nothing. She studied Kjell as he stepped away from the bed. He could feel her gaze upon him even as he exited the room. He wanted to scream in despair and cry for joy all at the same time. Lydia was alive and awake. It was a miracle that she had survived the attack. But her memory was gone. She didn't know him-didn't realize that she loved him or that he loved her.

They made their way to Dr. Ensign's office in stunned silence. Once they were seated, it was several minutes before the doctor addressed the situation.

"The mind is quite delicate," he told them. "It often cannot process shock. The circumstances of the attack, not to mention the blood loss, would be enough to cause her brain to… well, not function as it had before. We know so little about the way the mind works, but as I said, I've seen this before."

"What can be done?" Kjell asked.

"Nothing. We must be careful not to give her further shock. We mustn't lose patience with her inability to remember. We cannot try to force her knowledge of the past."

Kjell focused on the wooden floor. He felt like he was on a boat that had suddenly lost its buoyancy. Water was rushing in and would soon sink his vessel, but there was no understanding of how to stop it-how to fix the situation.

"There is one thing we must be extremely cautious about," the doctor continued. "Say nothing of the baby. I'm afraid in her delicate state of mind, it would cause her to lose her grip on reality altogether. I doubt she could withstand the truth."

Zerelda nodded and took hold of Kjell's hand. "Perhaps we should accept this as a blessing in disguise. It gives us and Lydia time."

Kjell's anger got the better of him. "Time for what? What possible hope can we give her?"

The older woman's expression softened. "Time for healing, Kjell. Maybe Lydia will never remember us or the baby, but she can learn to know us again. She lived with such a painful past, maybe it's best she not remember any of it. Maybe that's God's gift to her."

Some gift. He allows her child to be taken, along with her memory." Kjell couldn't fight the bitterness in his tone. He got to his feet. "I can't sit here any longer."

He stormed from the room and out of the hospital. He had no idea where he would go, but for now, he couldn't be there. Lydia took no comfort in his presence. Once again, he was unable to help.

Lydia tried to force her mind to clear. No matter how hard she tried, nothing of her life came hack to her. She felt alone and afraid. Her wounds left her weak and in pain, but she felt overwhelmed by the blank slate of her memory.

"Who am I? Why can't I remember?"

The woman who called herself Zerelda came into the room. She smiled as she approached. "Am I disturbing you?"

She studied the woman, trying hard to place her.

"Do you mind if I sit and talk with you for a few minutes?"

Lydia shook her head. "No. That would be fine."

"I know you're confused right now. Probably scared, too. I know I would be if I couldn't remember who I was or who anyone else was, for that matter."

"It's very frightening. I know I should he able to remember things-that I should know you… but I don't."

The woman had such compassion in her expression that Lydia immediately felt at ease. This person obviously cared a great deal about her. Lydia could sense that much.

"Tell me about my past. Tell me who I am. Who you arc."

"Well, I'm your aunt Zerelda Rockford. Some folks call me Zee. I am your father's sister."

"And where is my father?"

Lydia sensed the woman felt uncomfortable with her question. "Is he dead, too? Like my mother?"

Zerelda nodded. "Yes. He passed on almost a year ago."

"How?"

Again the woman shifted and seemed to consider her words. "There was a carriage accident. He was injured and died shortly afterward. You moved up here to be with me shortly after that. Do you remember anything about the move?"

Lydia thought for a moment. "No. Nothing comes to mind."

"Well, this is the town of Sitka in Alaska. We're on an island in the far northwest. It's not a big town by the standards of most American towns, but by Alaska standards, it's very large."

"Are you my only family?"

Zerelda couldn't hide a momentary look of surprise. Lydia figured it had to do with the man that had been there earlier. "I know I'm married to that… that… man."

"Yes, to Kjell Lindquist." Lydia saw the woman's face light up. "He's a good man, Lydia, and you loved him quite dearly. You two made the perfect couple."

"So we were happy?"

"Oh, very much so and in love." Zerelda laughed. "You haven't been married that long. Just since last November. Kjell's been so worried, he hasn't wanted to leave your side."

Lydia considered this for a moment. The man did seem very kind, and he looked at her with such concern. He must truly love her if he'd spent so much time watching over her. "How did we meet?"

Zerelda seemed amused by this question. "When you arrived you were exhausted. The travel had made you… seasick… and… well, you were extremely weak. You walked up the wharf and promptly fainted into Kjell's arms. When you came to, you explained who you were and that you were looking for me. Kjell knew me and brought you to my cabin."

Lydia tried to absorb the information, but it was proving too much. In fact, instead of offering comfort, it only served to make her more frustrated. Why couldn't she remember? "I think I should rest now.

Zerc1da patted her hand. "Yes, I'm sure that would be best. Just know that I love you, Liddie. I love you dearly and always will. We'11 get through this with God's help."

Lydia nodded. "I'm sure you're right." But even as her aunt got up to leave, Lydia felt overwhelmed with doubt. Would she ever remember the past? Would she ever have memory of her husband and what had caused her to fall in love with him?

And if she didn't, could she be a wife to him?