"Passage" - читать интересную книгу автора (Willis Connie)3“Maybe the paint’s dried,” Dr. Wright said, even though it was obviously still wet. Joanna stooped and touched it. “Nope,” she said, holding her finger up to show him the pale blue spot on the tip. “And there’s no other way out?” “Back the way we came,” she said. “Did Mr. Mandrake happen to tell you where he was going?” “Yes,” Richard said. “In to see Mrs. Davenport.” “Oh, no, he’ll be in there forever,” she said. “Mrs. Davenport’s life review is longer than most people’s lives. And it’s been three hours since I saw her last. She’s no doubt ‘remembered’ all sorts of details in the meantime. And what she hasn’t, Mr. Mandrake will manufacture.” “How did a nutcase like Mandrake get permission to do research in a reputable hospital like Mercy General anyway?” he asked. “Money,” she said. “He donated half the royalties of “Proving the adage that there’s one born every minute.” “And that people believe what they want to believe. Especially Esther Brightman.” “Who’s Esther Brightman?” “The widow of Harold Brightman of Brightman Industries and the oldest member of Mercy General’s board of trustees. And a devout disciple of Mandrake’s, I think because she might cross over to the Other Side at any moment. She’s donated even more money to Mercy General than Mandrake, “Which means allowing Mandrake to pollute the premises.” She nodded. “And any other project connected with NDEs. Which is what I’m doing here.” He frowned. “Isn’t Mrs. Brightman afraid legitimate scientific research might undermine the idea of life after death?” She shook her head. “She’s convinced that the evidence will prove the existence of the afterlife, and that I’ll come to see the light. I should be grateful to them. Most hospitals won’t touch NDE research with a ten-foot pole. I’m not, however. Grateful. Especially right now.” She looked speculatively up at the door. “We might be able to sneak past him while Mrs. Davenport’s telling him the riveting story of her third-grade spelling test.” She tiptoed up the stairs and opened the door a silent crack. Mr. Mandrake was standing in the hall, talking to Tish. “Mrs. Davenport and the others have been sent back as emissaries,” he said, “to bring us word of what awaits us on the Other Side.” Joanna eased the door shut carefully and went back down to where Dr. Wright was standing. “He’s talking to Tish,” she whispered, “telling her how NDEs are messages from the Other Side. And meanwhile, we’re trapped on This Side.” She walked past him down to the landing. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand the thought of having to listen to his theories of life after death. Not today. So I think I’ll just wait here till he leaves.” She went around the landing and sat down out of sight of the door above, her feet on the step above the yellow “Do Not Cross” tape. “Don’t feel like you have to stay, Dr. Wright. I’m sure you’ve got more important things—” “I’ve already been caught once today by Mandrake,” he said. “And I wanted to talk to you, remember? About working with me on my project. This looks like an ideal place. No noise, no interruptions — but it’s not Dr. Wright, not when we’re stuck in a half-painted stairwell together. I’m Richard.” He extended his hand. “Joanna,” she said, shaking it. He sat down across the landing facing her. “Tell me about your bad day, Joanna.” She leaned her head back against the wall. “A man died.” “Somebody you were close to?” She shook her head. “I didn’t even know him. I was interviewing him in the ER… he…” He was there one minute, she thought, and the next he was gone. And that wasn’t just a figure of speech, a euphemism for death like “passed away.” It was how it had felt. Looking at him lying there in the ER, the monitor wailing, the cardiologist and nurses frantically working over him, it hadn’t felt like Greg Menotti had shut down or ceased to exist. It was as if he’d vanished. “He’d had an NDE?” Richard asked. “No. I don’t know. He’d had a heart attack and coded in the ambulance, and he said he didn’t remember anything, but while the doctor was examining him, he coded again, and he said, ‘Too far for her to come.’ ” She looked up at Richard. “The nurses thought he was talking about his girlfriend, but he wasn’t, she was already there.” And he was somewhere else, Joanna thought. Like Coma Carl. Somewhere too far for her to come. “How old was he?” Richard asked. “Thirty-four.” “And probably no prior damage,” he said angrily. “If he’d survived another five minutes, they could have gotten him up to surgery, done a bypass, and given him ten, twenty, even fifty more years.” He leaned forward eagerly. “That’s why this research is so important. If we can figure out what happens in the brain when it’s dying, then we can devise strategies for preventing unnecessary deaths like the one that happened this afternoon. And I believe the NDE’s the key, that it’s a survival mechanism—” “Then you don’t agree with Noyes and Linden that the NDE’s a result of the human mind’s inability to comprehend its own death?” “No, and I don’t agree with Dr. Roth’s theory that it’s psychological detachment from fear. There’s no evolutionary advantage to making dying easier or more pleasant. When the body’s injured, the brain initiates a series of survival strategies. It shuts down blood to every part of the body that can do without it, it increases respiration rate to produce more oxygen, it concentrates blood where it’s most needed—” “And you think the NDE is one of those strategies?” Joanna asked. He nodded. “Most patients who’ve had NDEs were revived by paddles or norepinephrine, but some began breathing again on their own.” “And you think the NDE was what revived them?” “I think the neurochemical events causing the NDE revived them, and the NDE is a side effect of those events. And a clue to what they are and how they work. And if I can find that out, that knowledge could eventually be used to revive patients who’ve coded. Are you familiar with the new RIPT scan?” Joanna shook her head. “Is it similar to a PET scan?” He nodded. “They both measure brain activity, but the RIPT scan is exponentially faster and more detailed. Plus, it uses chemical tracers, not radioactive ones, so the number of scans per subject doesn’t have to be limited. It simultaneously photographs the electrochemical activity in different subsections of the brain for a 3-D picture of neural activity in the working brain. Or the dying brain.” “You mean you could theoretically take a picture of an NDE?” “Not theoretically,” Richard said. “I’ve—” The door above them opened. They both froze. Above them a man’s voice said, ” — very productive session. Mrs. Davenport has remembered experiencing the Command to Return and the Life Review while she was dead.” “Oh, God,” Joanna whispered, “It’s Mr. Mandrake.” Richard craned his neck carefully around the corner. “You’re right,” he whispered back. “He’s holding the door partway open.” “Can he see us from there?” He shook his head. “Then it’s true?” a young woman’s voice said from the door. “That’s Tish,” Joanna whispered. Richard nodded, and they both sat there perfectly still, their heads turned toward the stairs and the door, listening alertly. “Your whole life really does flash before you when you die?” Tish asked. “Yes, the events of your life are shown to you in a panorama of images called the Life Review,” Mr. Mandrake said. “The Angel of Light leads the soul in its examination of its life and of the meaning of those events. I’ve just been with Mrs. Davenport. The Angel showed her the events of her life and said, ‘See and understand.’ ” Mandrake must have leaned against the door and opened it wider because his voice was suddenly louder. “See and understand we shall,” he said. “Not only shall we understand our own lives but life itself, the vast ocean of understanding and love that shall be ours when we reach eternity.” Richard looked at Joanna. “How long is he likely to go on like that?” he whispered. “Eternally,” she whispered back. “So you really believe there’s an afterlife?” Tish asked. Doesn’t she have any patients to attend to? Joanna thought, exasperated. But this was Tish, to whom flirting was as natural as breathing. She couldn’t help sending out spinnerets over any male, even Mr. Mandrake. And Richard had obviously met her. Joanna wondered how he’d managed to get away. “I don’t think there’s an afterlife,” Mr. Mandrake said. “I know it. I have scientific evidence it exists.” “Really?” Tish said. “I have There was a pause. Maybe he’s leaving, Joanna thought hopefully. The door opened still farther, and someone started down the stairs. Richard shot to his feet and was across the landing in an instant, pulling Joanna to her feet, pressing them both flat against the wall, his arm across her, holding her against the wall. They waited, not breathing. The door clicked shut, and footsteps clattered down the cement stairs toward them. He’d be down to the landing in another minute, and how were they going to explain their huddling here like a couple of children playing hide-and-seek? Joanna looked questioningly at Richard. He put his finger to his lips. The footsteps came closer. “Mr. Mandrake!” Tish’s distant voice called, and they could hear the door open again. “Mr. Mandrake! You can’t go down that way. It’s wet.” “Wet?” Mr. Mandrake said. “They’ve been painting all the stairwells.” There was a pause. Richard’s arm tightened against Joanna, and then there was a sound of footsteps going back up. “Where were you going, Mr. Mandrake?” Tish asked. “Down to the ER.” “Oh, then, you need to go over to Orthopedics and take the elevator. Here, let me show you the way.” Another long pause, and the door clicked shut. Richard leaned past Joanna to look up the stairs. “He’s gone.” He took his arm away and turned to face Joanna. “I was afraid he was going to insist on seeing for himself if the stairs were wet.” “Are you kidding?” Joanna said. “He’s based his entire career on taking things on faith.” Richard laughed and started up the stairs toward the door. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” she said. “He’s still out there.” Richard stopped and looked down at her questioningly. “He said he was going down to the ER.” She shook her head. “Not while he’s got an audience.” Richard opened the door cautiously and eased it shut again. “You’re right. He’s telling Tish how the Angel of Light explained the mysteries of the universe to Mrs. Davenport.” “That’ll take a month,” Joanna said. She slumped down resignedly on the step. “You’re a doctor. How long does it take for someone to starve to death?” He looked surprised. “You’re hungry?” She leaned her head back against the wall. “I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast. About a million years ago.” “You’re kidding,” he said, rummaging in the pockets of his lab coat. “Would you like an energy bar?” “You have food?” she said wonderingly. “The cafeteria’s always closed when I try to eat there. Is it ever open?” “No,” Joanna said. “There don’t seem to be any restaurants around here either.” “There aren’t,” Joanna said. “Taco Pierre’s is the closest, and it’s ten blocks away.” “Taco Pierre’s?” She nodded. “Fast-food burritos and “Umm,” he said. He pulled out an apple, polished it against his lapel, and held it out to her. “Apple?” She took it gratefully. “First you save me from Mr. Mandrake and then from starvation,” she said, taking a bite out of the apple. “Whatever it is you want me to do, I’ll do it.” “Good,” he said, reaching in his other pocket. “I want you to define the near-death experience for me.” “Define?” she said around a mouthful of apple. “The sensations. What people experience when they have an NDE.” He pulled out a foil-wrapped Nutri-Grain bar and handed it to her. “Do they all experience the same thing, or is it different for each individual?” “No,” she said, trying to tear the energy-bar wrapper open. “There definitely seems to be a core experience, as Mr. Mandrake calls it.” She bit the paper, still trying to tear it. “Defining it’s another matter.” Richard took the energy bar away from her, tore it open, and handed it back to her. “Thanks,” she said. “The problem is Mr. Mandrake’s book and all the near-death-experience stuff out there. They’ve told people what they should see, and sure enough, they all see it.” He frowned. “Then you don’t think people actually see a tunnel and a light and a divine figure?” She took a bite of energy bar. “I didn’t say that. NDEs didn’t start with Mr. Mandrake or this current crop of books. There are accounts dating all the way back to ancient Greece. In Plato’s She took another bite. “It’s not that people don’t see the tunnel and all the rest. It’s just that it’s so hard separating the wheat from the chaff. And there’s tons of chaff. People tend to use NDEs to get attention. Or to stump for their belief in the paranormal. Twenty-two percent of people who claim they’ve had NDEs also claim to be clairvoyant or telekinetic, or to have had past-life regressions like Bridey Murphy. Fourteen percent claim they’ve been abducted by aliens.” “So how She shrugged. “You look for body language. I had a patient last month who said, ‘When I looked at the light, I understood the secret of the universe,’ which, by the way, is a common comment, and when I asked her what it was, she said, ‘I promised Jesus I wouldn’t tell,’ but as she said it, she put her hand out, as if reaching for something just out of her grasp,” Joanna said, demonstrating. “And you look for experiences outside the standard imagery, for consistency. People tend to include many more specific details, some of them seemingly irrelevant, when they’re describing what they’ve actually experienced than when they’re describing what they think they should have seen.” “And what have they actually experienced?” Richard asked. “Well, there’s definitely a sensation of darkness, and a sensation of light, usually in that order. There also seems to be a sound of some kind, though nobody seems to be able to describe it very well. Mr. Mandrake says it’s a buzzing—” “—so all of his patients say it’s a buzzing,” Richard said. “Yes, but even they don’t sound all that convinced,” Joanna said, remembering the uncertainty in Mrs. Davenport’s voice. “And my subjects are all over the map. It’s a click, it’s a roar, it’s a scraping sound, and it’s a shriek.” “But there definitely seems to be a sound?” “Oh, yes, eighty-eight percent of my patients mentioned it. Without prompting.” “What about the floating-above-your-body-on-the-operating-table?” Richard asked, pulling a box of raisins out of his pocket. “Mr. Mandrake claims sixty percent of his patients have an out-of-body experience, but only eleven percent of mine do. Seventy-five percent of mine mention feelings of peacefulness and warmth, and nearly fifty percent say they saw some kind of figure, usually religious, usually dressed in white, sometimes shining or radiating light.” “Mandrake’s Angel of Light,” Richard said. She held out her hand, and he tipped some raisins into her palm. “Mr. Mandrake’s brainwashees see an Angel of Light and their dead relatives, waiting to greet them on the Other Side, but for everyone else, it seems to be religion-specific. Christians see angels or Jesus unless they’re Catholics, then they see the Virgin Mary. Hindus see Krishna or Vishnu, non-believers see relatives. Or Elvis.” She ate a raisin. “That’s what I mean about chaff. People bring so many biases from their own background, it’s almost impossible to know what they actually saw.” “What about children?” he asked. “Don’t they have fewer preconceived ideas?” “Yes,” Joanna said, “but they’re also more apt to want to please the adult who’s interviewing them, as proved by the nursery-school-abuse cases of the eighties. Children can be manipulated to say anything.” “I don’t know,” he said doubtfully. “I met a little girl today who didn’t look too influenceable. You know her. Maisie?” “You talked to Maisie Nellis?” she said, and then frowned. “I didn’t know she was back in again.” Richard nodded. “She told me to tell you she has something important to tell you. We had quite a chat about the She smiled. “So that’s the disaster of the week?” He nodded. “That and the Great Molasses Flood. Did you know that twenty-one people met a pancakelike death in 1919?” “How long were you there?” she laughed. “No, let me guess. Maisie’s wonderful at thinking up excuses for why you have to stay just a little longer. She’s one of the world’s great stallers. And one of the world’s great kids.” He nodded. “She told me she has cardiomyopathy and that she’d gone into V-fib.” Joanna nodded. “Viral endocarditis. They can’t get her stabilized, and she keeps having reactions to the antiarrhythmia drugs. She’s a walking disaster.” “Hence the interest in the She nodded. “I think it’s a way of indirectly addressing her fears. Her mother won’t let her talk about them directly, won’t even acknowledge the possibility that Maisie might die,” she said. “But more than that, I think Maisie’s trying to make sense of her own situation by reading about other people who’ve had sudden, unaccountable, disastrous things happen to them.” She ate another raisin. “Plus, children are always fascinated by death. When I was Maisie’s age, my favorite song was ‘Poor Babes in the Wood,’ about two children ‘stolen away one bright summer’s day’ and left in the woods to die. My grandmother used to sing it to me, to my mother’s horror. The elderly are fascinated by death, too.” “Did they?” Richard asked curiously. “Die? The babes in the wood?” She nodded. “After wandering around in the dark for several stanzas. ‘The moon did not shine and the stars gave no light,’ ” she recited. “ ‘They wept and they sighed, and bitterly cried, and the poor little children, they lay down and died.’ After which the birds covered them with strawberry leaves.” She sighed nostalgically. “I loved that song. I think because it had children in it. Most of Maisie’s disasters involve children. Or dogs.” Richard nodded. “There was a dog on the She wasn’t listening. “Did she say what she wanted to talk to me about?” “Near-death experiences.” “Oh, dear, I hope she didn’t go into V-fib and code again.” “I don’t think so. She was up and around. The nurse had a hard time keeping her in bed.” “I should go see her,” Joanna said, looking up the stairs. She crept up them and opened the door a crack. “…an Angel of Light, with golden light radiating from him like sparkling diamonds,” Mr. Mandrake was saying. She eased the door shut. “Still there.” “Good,” Richard said, “because I haven’t had a chance to convince you to come work with me on my project yet, and you haven’t finished telling me what people experience during an NDE. And we haven’t had dessert yet.” He reached in his lab coat pocket and pulled out a package of peanut M M’s. She shook her head. “No, thanks. They’d just make me thirsty.” “Oh, in that case,” he said. He reached in his right pocket. “Mocha Frappuccino,” he said, pulling out a bottle and setting it on the step, and then pulling out another. “Or…” he read the label, “mandarin green tea with ginseng.” “You’re amazing,” Joanna said, taking the Frappuccino. “What else do you have in there? Champagne? Lobster thermidor? All I’ve got in my pockets is a postcard and my tape recorder and…” she fumbled in her cardigan pockets, “…my pager — oops, which I’d better turn off. I don’t want it going off and giving away our position to Mr. Mandrake,” she switched it off, “and three used Kleenexes.” She opened the Frappuccino. “You wouldn’t have a straw, would you?” He pulled a paper-wrapped one out of his pocket. “You said there’s a sensation of darkness,” he said, handing it to her. “Not a tunnel?” She unwrapped the straw. “The majority of them call it a tunnel, but that isn’t what they describe. For some it seems to be a spinning vortex, for others a passage or hallway or narrow room. Several of my subjects have described darkness collapsing in around them.” Richard nodded. “The visual cortex shutting down.” He jerked a thumb up toward the door. “What about the life review?” “Only about a quarter of my subjects describe having one,” Joanna said, sipping her Frappuccino, “but the flashing of your life before your eyes is a well-documented phenomenon in accidents. Mr. Mandrake says the NDE, or near-afterlife experience, as he prefers to call it—” “He told me,” Richard said, grimacing. “—has ten core elements: out-of-body experience, sound, tunnel, light, dead relatives, Angel of Light, a feeling of peace and love, a life review, the bestowing of universal knowledge, and a command to return. Most of my subjects experience three or four of the elements, usually the sound, the tunnel, the light, and a sense that people or angels are present, though when they’re questioned, they have trouble describing them.” “That sounds like temporal-lobe stimulation,” he said. “It can cause a feeling of being in a holy presence without any accompanying visual image. It can also cause flashbacks and assorted sounds, including voices, but so can carbon dioxide buildup, and certain endorphins. That’s part of the problem — there are several physical processes that could cause the phenomena described in an NDE.” “And Mr. Mandrake will claim that the effects produced in the laboratory aren’t the same as the ones the NDEer is experiencing. In his book Mr. Mandrake says the lights and tunnel vision produced during anoxia experiments are completely unlike the ones his patients describe.” “And without an objective standard, there’s no way to disprove that,” Richard said. “NDE accounts are not only subjective, they’re hearsay.” “And vague,” Joanna said. “So your project is hoping to develop an objective standard?” “No,” he said. “I’ve got one. Three years ago I was using the RIPT scan to map brain activity. You ask the subject to count to five, what his favorite color is, what roses smell like, and locate the areas of synaptical activity. And in the middle of the experiment, one of the subjects coded.” “Because of the scan?” “No. The scan itself’s no more dangerous than a CAT scan. Less, because there’s no radiation involved. It was a massive coronary. Completely unrelated.” “Did he die?” Joanna asked, thinking of Greg Menotti. “Nope. The crash cart team revived him, he had a bypass, and he was fine.” “And he’d had an NDE?” Richard nodded. “And we had a picture of it.” He reached in his lab coat pocket and pulled out an accordion-folded strip of paper. “It was three minutes before the crash cart could get there. The RIPT scan was running the entire time.” He shifted so he was sitting next to her and unfolded the long strip of pictures. They showed the same black cross-section of the brain she’d seen in PET scan photos, with areas colored in blue and green and red, but in sharper detail than she’d seen in the PET scan photos, and with rows and rows of coded data along either side. “Red indicates the greatest level of activity and blue the lowest,” Richard said. He pointed to an orangish-red area on the pictures. “This is the temporal lobe,” he said, “and this,” pointing to a smaller splash of red, “is the hippocampus.” He handed her the strip. “You’re looking at an NDE.” Joanna stared at the splotches of orange and yellow and green in fascination. “So it is a real thing.” “That depends on what you mean by real,” he said. “See this area where there’s no activity? That’s the visual cortex, and this and this are sensory areas, where outside information is processed. The brain isn’t getting any data from outside. The only stimuli are coming from deep inside the brain, which is bad news for Mandrake’s theory. If the patient were actually seeing a bright light or an angel, the visual cortex here and here,” he pointed, “would be activated.” Joanna stared at the dark blue areas. “What did he see?” she asked. “The man who coded.” “Mr. O’Reirdon,” Richard said. “A tunnel, a light, and several scenes from his childhood, all in succession.” “The life review,” Joanna murmured. “My guess is that those images are what account for the activation here,” he said, pointing at yellow-green spots in a succession of the pictures. “These are random firing of long-term-memory synapses.” “Did he see a shining figure in white?” Joanna asked. He shook his head. “He felt a holy presence that told him to come back, and then he was on the table.” He indicated a picture near the end of the strip. “This is where he came out of the NDE state. You can see the radically different pattern. Activity drops off sharply in the temporal lobe and increases in the visual and auditory cortexes.” Joanna wasn’t listening. She was thinking, they always talk about going and coming back, as if it were a real place. NDEers all talked about it that way. They said, “I came back to the ambulance then,” or, “I went through the tunnel,” or, “The whole time I was there, I felt so peaceful and safe.” And Greg Menotti had said, “Too far away for her to come,” as if he were no longer in the ER but had gone somewhere else. “The greatest level of activity is here,” Richard was saying, “next to the Sylvian fissure in the anterior temporal lobe, which indicates the cause may be temporal-lobe stimulation. Temporal-lobe epileptics report voices, a divine presence, euphoria, and auras.” “A number of my subjects describe auras surrounding the figures in white,” Joanna said, “and light radiating from them. Several of them, when they talked about the light, spread their hands out as if to indicate rays.” She demonstrated. “This is exactly the kind of information I need,” Richard said. “I want you to come work with me on this project.” “But I don’t know how to read RIPT scans.” “You don’t have to. That’s my department. I need you to tell me exactly the kind of thing you’ve been telling me—” The door banged open, and a nurse clattered down the steps. Joanna and Richard both made a dive for the landing, but it was too late. She’d already seen them. “Oh,” the nurse said, looking surprised and then interested. “I didn’t know anything was going on in here.” She gave Richard a winsome smile. “You can’t get through this way,” Joanna said. “They painted the steps.” She arched a speculative eyebrow. “And you two are waiting for them to dry?” “Yes,” Richard said. “Is Mr. Mandrake still up there?” Joanna asked. “In the hall?” “No,” she said, still smiling at Richard. “Are you sure?” Joanna asked. “The only thing in the hall is the supper cart.” “Supper cart?” Joanna said. “Good Lord, how late is it?” She glanced at her watch. “Oh, my gosh, it’s after six.” The eyebrow again. “Lost all track of time, did you? Well, have fun,” she said, and waved at Richard. She clattered up the stairs and out. “I had no idea it was this late,” Joanna said, wadding up the energy-bar wrapper and sticking it in her pocket. She stood, gathering up the Frappuccino bottle and the apple core. Richard ran up two stairs and turned, blocking her way. “You can’t go yet. You haven’t agreed to work with me on the project.” “But I already interview everyone who comes into the hospital,” Joanna said. “I’d be glad to share my transcripts with you—” “I’m not talking about those people. I want you to interview “Their RIPT scan maps?” Joanna said, bewildered. “I don’t understand. Very few people code in the hospital, and even if they do, you’d only have four to six minutes to get your scanner down to the ER, and—” “No, no,” he said. “You don’t understand. I’m not observing NDEs. I’m manufacturing them.” |
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