The Lonely Hearts Club Elizabeth Eulberg

For my beloved EEC.

Especially Dav Pilkey, who was the first person to encourage me to write.

This is all his fault.

I, Penny Lane Bloom, do solemnly swear to never date another boy for as long as I shall live.

All right, maybe I'll reconsider it in ten years or so when I'm no longer living in Parkview, Illinois, or attending McKinley High School, but for now I'm done with guys. They're all lying, cheating scum of the earth.

Yes, every last one of them. Pure evil.

Sure, there are some that seem nice, but the second they get what they want, they'll dump you and move on to their next target.

So I'm done.

No more dating.

The end.

"Yesterday

love was such an easy game to play…"