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’®«мЄ® Ґ¦ЁЄ  ва е­Ґв «Ёим ЄагЈ«л© ¤га Є.

Њ®¦­® Ґ¦ЁЄ  бвгЄ­гвм,   ¬®¦­® Ё Ї­гвм,
Њ®¦­® ва®бв®зЄ®© Ґ¦ЁЄ  ў Їг§ЁЄ® вЄ­гвм,
Њ®¦­® ў Ґ¦ЁЄ  Ё§ ॢ®«мўҐа  Ї «м­гвм,
Ђ ® ⮬, зв®Ўл ва е­гвм - Ё ¤г¬ вм § Ўг¤м.

€ ў Є®­жҐ ва㤮ў®Ј® в殮«®Ј® ¤­п,
’а е­гў вЁЈа , «Ґвгзго ¬лим Ё б«ҐЇ­п,
’л ў®бЄ«ЁЄ­Ґим гбв «®: "Ќг, зв® §  дЁЈ­п!
ќв®в ¤®«Ў ­л© Ґ¦ЁЄ § ва е « ¬Ґ­п!"

The Hedgehog Song, v1.7


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Reconstructed by Matthew Crosby and alt.fan.pratchett from the
Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett
-----

Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
CHORUS 1: The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you'll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
CHORUS 2: The spines on his back are so awful thick
you'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
CHORUS 3: (So here's to the hedgehog, he's sharp as they come
You'll never get through his impregnable bum
With his nose up his arsehole and rolled in a ball
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all)


CHORUS

A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet