"Джек Керуак. Big Sur (engl)" - читать интересную книгу автораor how to crush kiss or soft kiss, man he was a genius in the beginning'...
and so on, George went all the way telling me this till 6 A. M. it being one of the most fantastic Buddha Charitas I'd ever heard ending with George's own perfect enunciation of the law of the Twelve Nirdanas whereby Buddha just logically disconnected all creation and laid it bare for what it was, under the Bo Tree, a chain of illusions - And on the trip to New York with Dave and me up front talking all the way poor George just sat there on the mattress for the most part very quiet and told us he was taking this trip to find out if HE was traveling to New York or just the CAR (Willie the Jeep) was traveling to New York or was it just the WHEELS were colling, or the tires, or what - A Zen problem of some kind - So that when we'd see grain elevators on the Plains of Oklahoma George would say quietly "Well it seems to me that grain elevator is sorta waitin for the road to approach it" or he'd say suddenly "While you guys was talkin just then about how to mix a good Pernod Martini I just saw a white horse standing in an abandoned storefront" - In Las Vegas we'd taken a good motel room and gone out to play a little roulette, in St Louis we'd gone to see the great bellies of the East St Louis hootchy kootchy joints where three of the most marvelous young girls performed smiling directly at us as tho they knew all about George and his theories about erogenous Buddha (there sits the monarch observing the donzinggerls) and as tho they knew anyway all about Dave Wain who whenever he see a beautiful girl says licking his lips "Yum Yum'... But now George has TB and they tell me he may even die... Which adds to that darkness in my mind, all these DEATH things piling up suddenly - But I cant believe old Zen Master George is going to allow his body to die just beds and see him sitting dejected on the edge of his bed with his hair hanging over his brow where before it was always combed back - He's in a bathrobe and looks up at us almost displeased (but everybody is displeased by unexpected visits from friends or relatives in a hospital) - Nobody wants to be surprised on their hospital bed - He sighs and comes out to the warm lawn with us and the expression on his face says "Well ah so you've come to see me because I'm sick but what do you really want? " as tho all the old humorous courage of the year before has now given away to a profoundly deep 15 Japanese skepticism like that of a Samurai warrior in a fit of suicidal depression (surprising me by its abject gloomy fearful frown). 15 I mean it was like my first frightened realization of what to be Japanese really meant - To be Japanese and not to believe in life any more and to be gloomy like Beethoven yet to be Japanese in gloom, the gloom of Basho behind it all, the huge thunderous scowl of Issa or of Shiki, kneeling in the frost with the bowed head like the bowed-head-oblivion of all the old horses of Japan long dust. He sits there on the lawn bench looking down and when Dave asks him "Well you gonna be alright soon George" he says simply "I don't know" - He really means "I dont care" - And always warm and courteous with me he now hardly pays any attention to me - He's a little nervous because the other |
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