"Ann Crispin "Han Solo. Rebel Dawn"" - читать интересную книгу автора

One night, when she'd served the first meal she'd cooked all by herself, Han finished the last bites of slightly scorched ladnek tail and somewhat rubbery marsh-root souffit, and smiled at her. "This was tasty, Salla. You'll be a gourmet cook in no time!" "Really?" she looked pleased. "Sure," he lied. Truth was, she had a long way to go.
"Han... there's something I've been meaning to tell you," she said. "Something really important."
Uh, oh. Here we go, he thought, with a feeling of dread. "What's that?" he asked.
"Well, I've been making some plans. It won't cost nearly what I thought, especially the hall, and I have a little bit saved. With what you've still got from the big sabacc game, we can do it. IYe talked to a caterer, and---" "Salla, what are you talkin' about?" Hah broke in, completely confused.
"Our wedding," she said. "I've been thinking about it, how you said you need me, and you're right. We need each other. It's time to go ‘ahead and have a real life together, Han. Like Roa and Lwyll. Remember what a nice wedding they had? We can have something just as nice. I think we owe it to ourselves. All our friends can come."
Han stared at her, too dumbfounded to speak. His first impulse was to shout, "Have you gone crazy?" but he counted to ten. Maybe Salla needed medical atten-tion. She had suffered a blow to her head. Concerned, he finally managed, "Uh, Salla, I don't think that's in the cards right now."
She chuckled. "I knew you'd say that, Han. Men! They never want to admit how they feel. Don't you re-member tellin' me that you kind of envied Roa and Chewie, having a real family?"
Hah remembered saying something along that line, but he certainly hadn't meant for it to be interpreted like this. He shook his head. "Salla, honey, I think we'd better discuss this. You haven't told anyone about this, have you? Or actually made any concrete plans?" "Well . . . just a few people," she said. "Shug, and Mako and Lando, and Jarik. And I put a reservation fee on the hall."
Mako! Hah groaned inwardly. His old friend from his Academy days would be having a wonderful time spreading this all over Nar Shaddaa. Jarik, why didn't you warn me? he wondered, then he realized that the kid was so head-over-heels for that cute little thing he'd been seeing that he probably hadn't even really listened to Salla.
"Salla," he said, "this isn't like you. We've never made any promises, any commitments. I mean, some-day, maybe... but..."
She was smiling at him again-that smile that made him feel like a traladon on its way into the slaughter-house. An all-knowing smile that said she wasn't really listening. Desperate to communicate without really hurting her with the truth, Han reached out and took her hand across the table. "Salla, honey... we've never even said the word ‘love' before. Are you tellin' me that you love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me?"
Her amber eyes shifted, just slightly, then she nod-ded. "I know what I want, Han. You and me together, and an end to risking our lives hauling spice. We'll be like Roa and Lwyll, and go off together to make a new life. An honest life. Maybe we'll have kids someday."
"But do you love me?" he asked, holding her eyes with his own.
"Sure," she said. "Of course I do, Han. You know that."
No, I don't think I do, he thought, cynically. He hadn't missed that slight shift of her eyes. He knew Salla was fond of him, cared for him, and had passion for him. But love?
"Anyway, you'll see, this is the right decision, Han. We're going to be really happy, and this will be the best wedding ever. We'll have a great party ‘afterward."
Han didn't miss the fact that she hadn't asked him whether he loved her. She doesn't want to know the an-swer, he realized.
For a moment it was on the tip of his tongue to say, ъ "Salla, I don't love you, and I don't want to marry you." But somehow he couldn't quite get the words out. He didn't want to break up with her, and that would cer-tainly do it.
Han silently resolved to talk to Chewie, and maybe Lando about this, since Salla had ‘already shot her mouth off. Maybe one of them would have some idea how to tell her "no" about the marriage, without losing her.
Hah didn't want to lose Salla, but he sure wasn't get-ting married. Especially now, when he was on top of the smuggling heap, with the speedy Falcon as his very own! He had places to go, business to do, cargoes to haul, and there was fun to be had fun that would be totally ruined if he was married. As far as the Corellian was concerned, getting married was tantamount to some unending Imp work detail. Han would hardly have been less dismayed to find himself sentenced to the spice mines of Kessel.
The next day he cornered Chewie in their apart-ment, and, while ZeeZee trundled back and forth, pick-ing up things and putting them down again in the exact same spot, told him the whole story. His friend growled and moaned, shaking his head. "Whaddaya mean the way S'alla's actin' reminds you of Wynni?" Han de-manded. "Wynni can't keep her paws off you, tries to seduce you every time we run into her. Salla ain't like that. She just wants to get married."
Chewbacca amplified on his previous statement. Salla reminded him of Wynni because she wasn't asking whether Han wanted her, she was just assuming that he did, and doing what she wanted. Marriage, the Wookiee pointed out, had to be something where both partners had an equal voice. Sometimes one partner might ac-cede to the wishes of the other, but nobody should just assume they knew what was best and start making deci-sions for a couple.
Han's brow furrowed. "Year, I see what you mean," he muttered. "Salla ain't askin', she's just takin' it for granted that we're gettin' married." He shook his head sadly. "Today she's out shoppin' for an outfit. She says ‘cause I'm Corellian, she wants a traditional Corellian wedding. That means a green dress."
Chewie shook his head and launched into a long per-oration on females of any species who regarded males as prizes to be won. He cautioned Han that his sister, Kallabow, had decided in much the same way that she intended to marry Mahraccor. However, Chewie said, Kallabow had been cleverer about it than Salla. She'd merely given Mahraccor plenty of chances to realize that he loved her, Kallabow, until one day he'd done ex-actly that. They were very happy, Chewie pointed out.
"Well, that ain't what's gonna happen to me, pal," Hah said caustically. "You know, I'm startin' to get mad, Chewie. She doesn't care what I want-she doesn't even want to know what I want. That's no way to make someone fall for you and want to marry you." Chewie vociferously agreed.
The next night, Hah spoke to Lando in a smoky bar at one of the big Nar Shaddaa casinos. The gambler shook his head the moment Hah brought the subject up. "Han. . .Han . . . she's dead serious about this, you know. When she told me about it, I started to laugh-‘cause I know you, pal!--and Salla just about decked me."
"I know she's serious," Han said, morosely. "Blast it, Lando, I don't want to marry her-I don't want to marry anybody! Ever, maybe! I like being single, and I like be-ing able to do what I want, when I want, with whoever I want to!"
"Easy, pal," Lando cautioned, and Hah realized his voice had scaled up to the point where other patrons of the' drinking establishment were looking over at him. He took a hasty gulp of his Alderaanian ale.
"Well, have you tried telling her how you feel?"
Lando asked.
"Yeah, a couple of times, now. She just dismisses me. I'll say, ‘Salla, this isn't a good idea, I need time to think about this,' or even, ‘Salla, I ain't interested in gettin' married now,' but it doesn't do a bit of good." "What does she say when you say that?"
"She just tosses it off. Says things like, ‘don't worry, Han, men ‘always feel like that. It's perfectly normal to have pre-wedding jitters.'"
Lando sighed so gustily that his mustache quivered. "That's tough, pal," he said. "She sounds like she's set-tled on getting married to you as a good way to fix up her life. She lost her ship, but she's going to gain a husband."
"She wants me to quit the business and leave Nar Shaddaa. Says we can be like Roa and Lwyll, sta's a new life doing something else. No more smuggling."
Lando shuddered. "Honest work? That's awful!" The gambler was only partly joking.
Han drained his stein of ‘ale and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Lando, what am I gonna do? I ain't gonna marry her, that's for sure. But I can't be mean enough to her to tell her in a way that will make her listen."
Lando frowned. "That's a tough one. Seems to me, the way Salla's acting, she's just asking to be set down. But Han... you can't wait. She told me she's setting the wedding for next week."
Han sat bolt upright. "Next week? Oh, no... Lando, no way!"
Lando nodded. "You've gotta tell her, Han."
"But she won't listen!"
"What else can you do?"
Han's features hardened with determination. "I can leave, that's what. I've been meaning to spend some time in the Corporate Sector, look up a master starship tech named Doc. Seems like now is a good time for that trip."
"Corporate Sector's quite a ways away."
"Yeah. And Salla doesn't have a ship, so she can't possibly follow me. Besides, if I just leave, that'll give her the message, clearer than anything I could say. And I'm doin' it right away, Lando. Tomorrow."
"That quick?" Lando was taken aback. "Why so fast?"
"Why stick around?" Hah asked. "I'll go see Jabba tomorrow morning, tell him I'm headin' out for a while and don't know when I'll be back. Besides . . ." he sighed, "I care about Salla. I don't want her spendin' her credits on a wedding that ain't gonna happen. So the quicker I go, the more she'll save."
"She's going to be mad," Lando said.
"I know," Hah agreed bleakly. "And I wish it didn't have to be like this. She should have some respect for me, not be so hard-headed. If there was another way around this, I'd take it, but I can't think of anything. No matter what I do or say, Salla's gonna get hurt."
"You could knuckle under and marry her," Lando said, cocking an amused eyebrow.
Han shook his head. "Lando, I'd sooner kiss Jabba."