"Colin Watson - Flaxborough Chronicles 02 Bump In The Night" - читать интересную книгу автора (Watson Colin)Bump in the Night
Bump in the Night
Colin Watson
Chapter One
The first of the Chalmsbury blowings-up took
place one warm, still night in early summer. It made the
most godawful bang that had been heard in the town since
a bewildered German pilot mistook the Parish Church for
Lincoln Cathedral during a Baedecker raid and capped this
undeserved compliment by dropping a bomb on the Food
Office, a building of even less architectural merit.
Several people were awakened by the explosion, and
many more by the frenzied barking of dogs that it provoked.
A few disturbed sleepers got up and peered from
their windows, but they saw no glow in the sky and heard
no cries, no bells, no hurrying footsteps. Whatever had
gone off, or up, did not seem to have left any situation
worth their attention.
Only one man was sufficiently conscientious, or curious
perhaps, to try and trace the source of the fearful noise
that had sent him skipping out of bed, his brain flooding
with confused memories of Home Guard manoeuvres,
thunder storms, and an entertaining encounter his wife
once had had with a boarding house geyser.
He was Councillor Oswald Pointer, wholesale wine
merchant: a testy, bald-headed citizen of small stature but
quite ferocious rectitude in matters affecting the security
and convenience of the Chalmsbury ratepayer.
This is Councillor Pointer speaking, emerged the thin,
nasal announcement from the telephone that Sergeant
Worple picked up at the police station in Fen Street. The
words were edged with accusation, and the sergeant,
soured by night duty, prepared to be as unhelpful as he
dared. Oh yes, sir, he responded stiffly.
What was that? demanded Pointer.
What was...what, sir? By the slightest of pauses in
the middle of his counter-question Worple implied that he
wasnt going to believe anything that the caller might tell
him.
Why, that infernal row, of course. That great bang.
What was it?
You heard a...bang, sir? The measured, butleresque
query, heavy with respectful doubt, swung back at Pointer
like a sandbag.
The councillor snorted angrily and shuffled his rapidly
chilling bare feet on the carpet. Look here, Im telling you
a damned great explosion woke me up a couple of minutes
ago. Im asking you if you know anything about it. Im
reporting it, if you like. Now do you understand?
Ah, youre making a report of an occurrence. Very
well, sir. Will you hold the line a moment? Worple put
the telephone down on the desk with great deliberation,
strolled to the far side of the room and returned slowly
with a large book. Your full name, now, if you please,
sir.
Pointer. Councillor Oswald Pointer. Oh, but surely...
P...O...I...N... The sergeant enunciated each
letter as his pen scratched resolutely across the page. And
the address, sir?
Fourteen, Holmwood.
Nearly half a minute went by. Mrs Pointer, in the next
bedroom, was making quavering sounds of distress in her
sleep. Oh, shut up! muttered her husband under his
breath.
He heard Worples satisfied Um indicate that the
address had been safely stowed. Then You said something
about an explosion, sir. Perhaps you can describe it?
Of course I cant describe it. It was a bang. It woke me
up.
Worple remained silent a moment. So what you mean,
sir, is that you believe an explosion occurred while you
were asleep but that you didnt actually hear it. He
smiled at Pointers gurgle of exasperation and stretched one
leg. Is that what you wish to report, sir?
Look here, I didnt ring you up in the middle of the
night to quibble about forms of words. For all I know it
might have been a gas main blowing up. Peoples lives
might be in danger. His annoyance invested this spontaneous
hypothesis with realism: God, we might all die
in our beds for anything these cloddish policemen would
stir themselves to do.
That isnt very likely, sir, if youll forgive my saying
so, came the patient voice from Fen Street. You see, coal
gasthe ordinary stuff you get when you turn a tapis
largely hydrogen and it only becomes explosive when its
mixed with the oxygen in the air we breathe. And gas
mains, as a general rule, are enclosed. Air doesnt get into
gas mains, sir.
Or, for heavens...
But if youve reason to believe there is a fault in your
supply, youre quite right to report it, sir, even at this time
of night. Would you like me to give you the number of
the Gas Board escapes department? Worple smirked
tenderly at the apple he had begun to polish upon the
jersey beneath his unbuttoned tunic.
The furious Pointer said nothing more, but slammed the
receiver down and stood clenching and unclenching his
hands. Hearing another querulous little wail from the next
room, he went softly to his wifes door, opened it wide,
and heaved it shut again as hard as he could. His scowl
blossomed into a grin as he listened to the hoots of terror
within.
A minute later, he affected a noisy and cross awakening
when Amelia Pointer pattered to his bed and nervously
touched his shoulder. Ozzy, she whispered, what was
that?
What was what? he snarled.
She fled, squeaking apologies, out of the room.
On his way to his warehouse in the morning, Pointer
overtook a neighbour, Barrington Hoole, who was
sauntering slowly towards town and the opticians shop
which professional dignity did not allow him to open one
minute earlier than ten oclock.
Hoole confirmed that a detonation of some kind had
shaken the district during the night and added the polite
hope that it had not been Mr Pointers own personal bomb
going off after all these years.
The reference was to an unconfessed but famous prank
in the winter of 1942, when a quite unwarranted Danger:
Unexploded Bomb notice had appeared overnight outside
Pointers off-licence and ruined his Christmas trade.
Pointer ignored the reminder of this misfortune and
said some harsh things about the indifference of the police
to pubic-spirited inquiries. Hoole nodded agreement while
he strolled alongside, happily sniffing the June air and
saluting, with benign superiority, such of his fellow
citizens as happened to be at their doors and dispensing
those misleadingly affable salutations that are customary
in small country towns.
The optician was a short, apple-cheeked man. His
plumpness seemed to consist of compressed energy that
he was at pains to keep from being transformed into
unseemly haste or excitement. He had a femininely smooth
chin, tucked well in, a beakish nose pinched at the bridge
by new old-fashioned rimless glasses, an unlined expanse
of intelligent forehead, and sparse but primly disciplined
hair. His almost permanent smile might have been that of
a man slightly mad, yet supremely fastidious in his
eccentricity. Unlettered locals deeply respected Mr Hooles
air of donnish self-confidence, but they were suspicious and
resentful of what they termed his sarky sense of humour.
On the topic of explosions, Pointer found his companion
somewhat unresponsive, and the subject had been
abandoned by the time they emerged from East Street into
the fan-shaped area of Great Market. This green-centred
triangle, containing a bus stand and a maze of cattle pens,
was dominated by Chalmsburys war memorial (commemorative
of 1914-18 only; an addendum relative to the
more recent conflict was still the subject of somewhat
acrimonious argument in the Town Council). It consisted
of a short oval column, set upon a plinth, and bearing the
bronze figure of a heavily moustached infantry officer in
the act, apparently, of hurling a pair of binoculars at the
Post Office.
At the further end of Great Market, Pointer entered his
office, leaving Hoole to pursue a leisurely course through
Church Street, now tight as a gut with vans and trucks
and cars and droves of seemingly immortal cyclists, across
St Lukes Square and over the Borough Bridge to Watergate
Street. Here were his consulting rooms, as he called the
cupboard-like quarters squeezed between a furniture store
and the melancholy mock-magnificence of the Rialto Cinema.
Looking at some stills outside the picture house was a
big, loose-legged man in a brown, chalk-striped suit. His
hands, clasped behind him, looked like a pair of courting
Flamborough crabs. The back of his neck had the colour
and texture of peeled salami.
Hearing Hooles key in the shop door, the man turned.
Hello there, Sawdust.
Hoole did not look round immediately. He knew who
stood there. Only one person in Chalmsbury delighted
still to use the epithet earned long years ago at the
Grammar School by the boy Hooles shameful propensity
for being sick in class and requiring the attendance of the
caretaker with his bucket of sawdust and his deep,
contemptuous sighs. Stanley Biggadyke, his chief tormentor
at that time, had a memory crammed like a schoolboys
pocket with revolting oddities and carefully preserved bits
of ammunition.
Morning, Big. Hoole had used the pause to quell a
strong temptation to outdo the others offensiveness. He
held open the door and grinned a bland, unmeant welcome.
Biggadyke stepped past him and peered round the dark
little box of a shop. Somebodys pinched those glasses you
did for me, he announced.
Pinched them?
Well theyve gone, anyway. Ill have to have another
pair.
Have you the prescription?
Biggadyke gestured carelessly. Ive got nothing. I
thought you kept all that sort of thing.
Hoole pulled out a drawer in a small filing cabinet and
fingered quickly and delicately through cards. He eased one
up. You had those spectacles six years ago. Ill have to
test your eyes again.
Biggadykes mouth, which was normally kept hanging
slightly open like a ventilator in the dark red heat of his
complexion, shut and twisted. Trust you to pile on the
extras. All right. Sawdust, lets get on with it. Ive been
waiting half the morning for you already.
Hoole opened a door at the back of the shop and preceded
Biggadyke up a short flight of narrow, carpeted
stairs to the room above. Other customers, he knew, would
soon be arriving for appointments but they would have to
wait. He couldnt trust himself to face a postponed
encounter with Biggadyke in anything like his present
state of self-control.
Calmly he switched on the lamps over his charts and
padded around making preliminary adjustments to pieces
of equipment that his patient eyed with sceptical
amusement. All part of the act, eh, old man?
The optician hummed good-humouredly. When he was
satisfied with his arrangements he motioned Biggadyke to
sit in the padded, upright chair facing a mirror in which
the charts, behind and above the chair were reflected.
The sound of a horn, strident and imperious, penetrated
the quiet, shuttered room. Biggadyke raised his head and
scowled. Thats my bloody car. He listened a while, then
relaxed. Kids. Carry on, Sawdust.
Hoole opened a small, glass-fronted case. You can drive
all right without glasses, then?
I can drive blindfold, cock.
Hoole grunted and sorted out a tiny brown bottle and a
dropper from the contents of one of the shelves. Hold
your head well back and look to one side.
Biggadyke winced as Hoole let fall four or five drops of
icy liquid into each red-rimmed eye. Just blink them in,
said Hoole. They wont hurt.
You didnt do this last time.
Its better if I can take a good look inside. Thats what
this stuff is for. Keep your head back a few minutes.
Hoole had good reason to remember last time. It was
the only occasionsince his schooldays, at leaston which
he had allowed himself to fall victim to one of Biggadykes
practical jokes. The town, he supposed, was still enjoying
the story. A choice fragment of the Biggadyke legend. Hes
a card, old Stan; a proper rum un. How rum could one
get, Hoole asked himself. He glanced, almost apprehensively,
at the reading chart. The four biggest letters that
formed its top line were just as they ought to be: black,
solid, meaningless. Nothis scalp tingled at the recollectionas
they had unaccountably appeared to prim old Mrs
Garside when she had taken the chair and been asked to
read them immediately after Biggadykes last visit to his
consulting rooms. Hoole looked just once more to satisfy
himself that Biggadyke had not again, in an unobserved
moment, superimposed that frightful four-lettered word
(cunningly hand-printed in reverse for mirrored presentation)
upon the chart behind him.
Half an hour later Biggadyke strode from the shop,
leaving Hoole, punctiliously professional, smiling in the
doorway and holding against his waistcoat his lightly
clasped, white little hands.
Before crossing to where a long, pale grey sports car
was parked on the opposite side of the road, Biggadyke
glanced quickly to left and right. He had begun to step
out for the other pavement before realizing that there had
been something odd about those glimpses of Watergate
Street. He looked again to the right. Yes, the roadway
seemed to bulge and shimmer. He blinked hard and looked
up at the buildings. They appeared normal at first, then the
horizontal lines of the roofs and parapets slowly sagged
and blurred. And at the edge of every solid object there was
an aura of intense violet light.
Biggadyke resolutely shut his eyes and shook his head.
When he again peered around him, squinting past half
lowered lids the view was more nearly in focus. He saw
his car quite clearlyalmost unnaturally clearlyin front
of him. He reached for the door handle. To his surprise, he
grasped nothing; he had to take fully two more steps
before he could touch the car.
Feeling by now that mixed shame and alarm that the
sudden failure of a physical function arouses in men
normally robust, Biggadyke was at the same time aware
of Hooles responsibility for his condition and determined
to deny him the satisfaction of seeing any evidence of it.
He swung himself into the driving seat, started the engine,
and, with a hideous tattoo of defiance from its exhausts,
swung the big car into the centre of the road and aimed
it as best he could on a mean course between the rows of
curiously undulating shops.
He navigated the rest of the length of Watergate Street
successfully, if only because it happened to be almost clear
of traffic, the level crossing at its lower end having been
closed a short time before. Only the Borough Bridge needed
to be crossed; then he could turn off the square into the
broad sanctuary of the White Hinds car park and rest until
his sight returned to normal.
The car was on the bridge, moving slowly forward.
Biggadyke knew that there would be a policeman on point
duty where the bridge carriageway entered the square. He
peered with painful concentration through the windscreen
and searched among the luminous, lunging shapes ahead
for one that might be a blue helmet.
He was still searching when an angry shout reached him
from behind. Instinctively he glanced back. There the
helmet was, bobbing in the intolerable glare of the sunshine.
In that instant, the front of the sports car folded before
the massive radiator of a cattle truck and Biggadyke, flung
like soft clay upon his admirable multi-dialled dashboard,
closed his troublesome eyes and slept.
If the noise of the collision reached the ear of Mr Hoole,
ministering to his second customer of the day in the quiet,
softly lighted upper room, he gave no sign of being either
disturbed or elated by whatever speculation it raised in his
mind. Head back just a fraction, he murmured. Thats
fine. He delicately manipulated the dropper. One little
globule fell neatly into the corner of each eye of the
knowledgeable Mrs Courtney-Snell, who smiled and said:
Distending the pupil, eh, Mr Hoole?
Exactly! replied Hoole admiringly. Mrs Courtney-Snell
was not a National Health patient.
Belladonna tincture, added Mrs Courtney-Snell. And
Im not to worry if I cannot focus properly for an hour or
two afterwards. The effect is disturbing but temporary.
Isnt that so?
But how right you are! I can see that a mere occulist
cannot pull anyahwool over your eyes, madam!
Mrs Courtney-Snell condescendingly chuckled and
settled back to enjoy a nice, long eye test.
In St Lukes Square the point duty policeman strode up
to Biggadykes car and wrenched open the door. At the
sight of the collapsed driver he swallowed his wrath and
sent the handiest intelligent looking citizen to telephone
for an ambulance.
Biggadyke recovered consciousness before it arrived.
He moaned a little, and swore a great deal. The policeman,
bending down to make him as comfortable as possible on
the pavement, surreptitiously sniffed his breath. It was
innocent of alcohol.
Mind you, he confided later to a colleague who had
arrived to help, it could have been drugs. Perhaps theyll
know at the hospital when they take a look at him. I wish
it had been the booze, though, like it was last time. Hed
not have got away with it again.
The second policeman shook his head. Dont be too
sure of that, either. Bigs got the luck of the devil. When
they chucked out that case at the Assizes it was like giving
a life-saving medal to a bloke whod done in his granny.
One thing; he didnt actually kill anyone this time,
said the point duty man, and he stepped into the roadway
to disperse once again the clot of inquisitive onlookers
that threatened to dam what traffic could still trickle past
Biggadykes corrugated car.
He was not to know that killing was the theme of some
frank observations being made at that moment by
Biggadyke himself as he lay in a small private ward of
Chalmsbury General Hospital.
Theres a certain little gentleman in this town, duckie,
he informed the plain young nurse whose cold fingers
explored his wrist, wholl be coming in here soon after I
leave. But, by God, youll have your work cut out to find
his bloody pulse!
The nurse frowned slightly and transferred her gaze from
her watch to a corner of the ceiling. Her lips made tiny
counting movements. Then she replaced Biggadykes hand
on the sheet with the air of a shopper rejecting a fly-blown
joint. After stooping to write on the chart clipped to the
foot of the bed, she stepped to the door.
When are you coming back to keep me warm, nurse?
Biggadyke, even in distress, was sensitive to a situations
demands upon his virility.
The girl paused in the doorway, turned, and spoke for
the first time since his arrival. Please ring the bell if you
wish to move your bowels.
Chapter Two
The news of Stanley Biggadykes accident was
borne to the Chalmsbury Chronicle office in Watergate
Street by the commissionaire of the Rialto, Mr Walter
Grope, in hope of some reciprocal favour, such as the
publication of his Ode to St Lukes Church.
Mr Grope had a large, harmless face like a feather
bolster. So loose and widely dispersed were his features that
he had difficulty in mustering them to bear witness to whatever
emotion happened to possess him. His expression
either was spread very thinly, like an inadequate scraping
of butter over a huge teacake, or else clung in a piece to
one spot.
When he smiled, which he did seldom and with reluctance,
the smile wriggled painfully from the corner of his
mouth, crawled a short way into the pale expanse of jowl,
and there died. His frown, though more readily producedfor
Mr Grope found life sad and perplexingdid not trespass
beyond the very centre of his forehead. When he was
surprised, his eyebrows arched like old and emaciated cats.
So long as none of these extremes seized him, his face
registered blank bewilderment. He had only to stand for a
moment by the kerb for some kindly woman to take his
arm and try to escort him over the road. When he entered
a shop he would be assumed immediately to be the seeker
of a lost umbrella and assistants would shake their heads
at him before he could utter a word.
Yet in spite of his appearance Mr Grope had one remarkable
gift: the ability to rhyme at a tremendous rate. He
practised by mentally adding complementary lines to the
remarks he overheard while marshalling patrons into his
cinema.
Thus: Its raining cats and dogs outside (So spake
brave Marmion eer he died) or Did you remember the
toffees, dear? (Quoth Lancelot to Guinevere) or I liked
that bit where Franchot Tone... (Ruptured himself and
made great moan).
This happy facility as a versifier enabled Grope to
supplement the pittance he received from his employers.
The arty-crafty trade, which flourished exceedingly in
Chalmsbury, found him a great asset to poker-work production.
Matchbox stands, trays for ladies combings, egg-timer
bracketsthese bore such masterpieces of Mr Gropes
as his Ode to the River Chal as It Passes Between the Watercress
Beds and the Mighty Oil-seed Mill. To save the poker
from growing cold too often the title had been condensed
to Ode and only the first verse quoted:
The river winds and winds and winds
Through scenery of many kinds.
It passes townships and societies,
And cattle breeds of all varieties;
But even the river must surely stand still
To admire our fine cress and Hendersons Mill!
Upon smaller articles such as stud boxes, napkin rings and egg cosy identity
discs appeared neat and edifying little slogans of Mr Gropes devising:
No Knife Cuts Like a Sharp Word and MotherHomes Treasure
and Remember Someone May Want to Use This After You.
This being Wednesday and his morning free from supervising
the Rialtos charwomen, Grope had walked abroad
to contemplate mans inhumanity to man and to think up
rhymes afresh. Having witnessed the collision in St Lukes
Square and waited to see Biggadyke loaded into the
ambulance he had retraced his steps as far as the cinema and
crossed to the Chronicle office almost directly opposite.
Josiah Kebble, the papers spherical editor, looked up
from his desk on hearing Grope enter through the swing
door. Between Kebble and his readers there was no other
barrier. He considered the sociability of this arrangement
well worth the occasional inconvenience of an outraged
complainant bursting in upon him and demanding what he
had meant by something or other.
Theres been an accident, announced Grope.
Has there now? said Kebble. Thats nice. He regarded
Grope with amiable expectation and rolled a pencil
between his palms. This produced a rhythmic clicking as
the pencil struck against a thick, old-fashioned signet ring.
That Biggadyke man has just driven into a lorry over
in the Square. Hes not dead, though.
Stan Biggadyke, you mean? The haulage bloke?
Grope nodded ruminatively. He thought coke...soak...bespoke...
Harry! the editor called. A flimsy door opened in a
cubicle-like contraption in one corner of the room and a
pale, startled face was thrust forth. Can you spare a
minute, old chap? Kebble inquired of it, then, neither
receiving nor seeming to expect an answer, he added: Just
nip down to the Square. Theres been a smash.
The face disappeared and a moment later Harry slouched
sadly through the office and out into the street, listing
beneath the burden of a camera the size of a meat safe.
Cant say Im surprised, mind, said Kebble. He glanced
at the clock, I dont know, though. Theyre hardly open yet.
Grope, who had subsided thankfully into a chair, shook
his head slowly. It would have been a judgment, he said, if
hed been taken. But his sort stays on, you know. I often
wonder about it.
A dreadful fellow, they tell me. Kebble said this in a
tone almost of admiration.
Ah... Grope pondered. He used to bring young
women into the three and sixes. Marched them up the
stairs like a drover. Mrs Parget said she never tore tickets
for the same ones twice.
Did he, er...
Theres not a doubt of it. The usherettes got to be
scared to use their torches. Think of that.
Kebble thought of that.
Hes not a patron any more, Grope went on.
Really?
No. Its the television, I expect. Now theres an immoral
invention, if you like.
The swing door thudded open and a lank-haired youth
with nervous eyes and a red spike of a nose wheeled in a
bicycle and propped it against the wall. Ive got a story,
chief, he announced, gangling up to Kebble.
Dont apply that loathsome expression to me, boy!
Kebble passed a hand through the daisy-white hair that
sleeked straight back from his pink forehead and frowned
like an abbot mistaken for a brothel keeper. And next time
you have occasion to ring me at the office please dont say
Give me the desk. Muriel thought you were a firm of
furniture removers. Now then, have you got those church services?
The youth, who was called Leonard Leaper, looked unabashed.
He struggled to extricate a large notebook from
his jacket pocket and announced: Theyve blown up the
drinking fountain in the Jubilee Park.
What are you talking about? Whos they? Kebble
gave a sidelong glance at Grope, a recognized authority on
calamities, but drew no response.
They? Well, somebody. The perpetrators. Leaper
looked pleased at this choice. And every little bit of its
gone. Ive just been over to look. Some shrubs and things
are down as well. He thumbed hastily through his notebook.
I interviewed the park keeper. Hes married and
has three children and hes an old boy of the Alderson Road
School. He served in the artillery during the first world war
and is a prominent member of the Royal Anti...Anti...
Leaper paused and peered at his shorthand with disbelief.
Anti-vivisection? suggested Grope, hopefully.
Kebble leaned forward. Never mind that, Leonard. What
about the explosion, or whatever it was?
The youth reluctantly disengaged himself from the puzzle
of what the park keeper was a prominent member of and
turned over a page. The outrage, he declared, is thought
to have taken place in the early hours of the morning. Mr
Harding...
Harding?
Yes, the park keeper. Mr Harding said that while sleeping
at his place of residence in East Street he was awakened
by what sounded like a big gun going off. He thought no
more of the incident until, on his arrival at the park just
prior to taking up his duties at nine oclock, he saw a jet
of water rising from the ground in the spot hitherto occupied
by the drinking fountain. Of this edifice, a well-known
land mark in the town...
Hitherto, Kebble interjected.
...there was no trace. Leaper snapped shut the notebook
and bent down to conceal his flush of triumph in the
business of removing his bicycle clips.
Kebble looked at Grope. What a very extraordinary
thing. Who would want to demolish a drinking fountain?
Brewers, said Grope without hesitation. They would
do it. Any day of the week.
Kebble turned to Leaper. Have you been round to the
police? The youth shook his head and began putting his
bicycle clips on again.
No, never mind. Ill give them a call myself. The
editor stood and reached down a broad brimmed hat.
They might know something about Biggadyke by now.
He nodded cheerfully to Grope, trotted round the counter
and went out.
The police station was an integral part of the municipal
buildings in Fen Street. This extravagant edifice,
architecturally a compound of Baroque and Victorian wash-house,
had two entrances. The main doors, leading to the rating,
borough engineers and town clerks departments and to
the council chamber on the upper floor, was reached by a
flight of steps flanked by glazed tile walls in green, brown
and ochre. On alternate steps were cemented cast iron pots
from which sprouted cast iron plants, painted green and
all very lifelike, save one that had been broken in the past
and now bore on its main stem a gaspipe jacket secured
by half-inch bolts.
At the side of the building was a less imposing entrance,
a brown door permanently latched back in a small lobby
from which an echoing white-tiled corridor led to the rooms
and cells and dun-varnished court where Chalmsburys
contingent of the county police scurried at the bidding of
Chief Inspector Hector Larch.
It was into the not very sympathetic ear of Larch that
Kebble imparted Leapers news of the destruction of the
drinking fountain in Jubilee Park.
The chief inspector was an exceptionally tall man with
a pasty angular face cradled within the rampart of his great
lower jaw. While Kebble talked, he sat upright at his desk
and gazed fixedly at an inkwell. He offered no interruptions
but breathed through tightly set teeth, making a
regular hissing noise that gave the impression of dutiful
patience being gradually expelled by the pressure of
annoyance within.
When Kebble had finished. Larch looked at him and
relaxed his mouth so that the hissing stopped. A cold
smile replaced his frown and he spoke softly.
You think the boy was telling the truth, or had someone
been pulling his leg? A faint lisp went with the smile.
Oh, hes cretinous but not a liar, Kebble said, loyally.
Anyway, it should be simple enough to verify. I thought
maybe youd heard something already.
Some sort of explosion was reported during the night
from... Larch turned over some papers on the desk.
... from Holmwood. Ozzy Pointer rang up about it,
apparently. Weve not had time to look into it yet.
Well, thats the direction. Beyond East Street.
Yes, said Larch placidly. He adjusted the already
neatly arranged documents before him and added: I
suppose you want to make what youd call a story out of it.
A drinking fountain... He smirked contemptuously. You must
be hard up. Come on, then, if thats what you want.
Quite suddenly, Kebble found himself following Larch
out of his office and along the corridor to the rear yard.
Larch climbed into his car, started the engine and drove
with expert rapidity through the narrow archway into Fen
Street before glancing stonily to see if Kebble had managed
to scramble aboard.
When they arrived at the park Kebble again suffered the
disadvantage of short legs as he tried to match Larchs
striding progress between the bowling greens to where a
group of curious and mostly elderly citizens had gathered
around a jet of water.
Larch pushed brusquely into the ring. The damage was
even more impressive than Leapers account had suggested.
Of the fountains column, bowl, and graven inscription to
the memory of the late Lieutenant-Colonel William
Courtney-Snell, J.P., there remained no identifiable
fragment. The surrounding concrete, now awash, was cracked
and deeply pitted. Some of the shrubs that once had formed
a semi-circular screen were now leafless, as though stripped
by an overnight winter; others had been blasted into stumps
bearing a few tatters of bark.
One wooden wall of a small bowls pavilion about twenty
yards away had been plucked out and thrown across the
path. A row of bowls lockers behind it had collapsed,
spilling their contents. These lay now among the debris like
cannon balls in a stormed gun emplacement.
Kebble, who had removed his outsize hat not in awe but
to facilitate his squeezing his head between the chief
inspector and a particularly stubborn bystander, gave a soft
whistle. An outrage if ever I saw one, he remarked appreciatively.
The policeman grunted and gazed around over heads for
someone who might profitably be questioned. At that
moment Harding, the keeper, appeared through the park
gates accompanied by a little man carrying a tool bag.
Larch disengaged himself from the water-watchers and
walked rapidly to meet them, followed by Kebble.
Harding halted before Larch and stared bitterly at the
crowd. A fine to-do-ment, this little old lot, he observed.
His companion set down his bag, wiped his nose with the
back of his hand and nodded agreement. Harding indicated
him and explained: From the water department. Hes
come to turn it off.
Larch ignored the introduction and the plumber, after
grinning querulously at Kebble and shuffling a bit, picked
up the tools and took himself off towards a small brick
building on the far side of the park.
Youre Harding, arent you?
Thats right, replied the keeper guardedly; the chief
inspector, he noticed, was looking airily over his head and
he didnt like it.
Just what has been going on here?
Harding glowered. Well, you can see for yourself. The
fountains gone. I dont know anything else about it.
What were you doing during the night, Mr Harding?
Larch had the stance of an ascetic headmaster, listening
abstractedly to the futile excuses of a boy caught chalking
obscenities. But Harding was not to be intimidated. Parachute
jumping, he retorted.
The corner of Larchs mouth twitched but he continued
to stare into space. I really dont think that sort of attitude
will get us anywhere, Mr Harding, he said gently, with
his rustling lisp. Just try and think, will you?
I was in bed, of course. What else should I have been doing?
You heard nothing?
I heard a damn great bang all right. A lot of other people
did too, I expect.
Did you think it came from the park here?
I didnt think anything. I went back to sleep.
But when you arrived here for work...
I found this how-dyou-do. Harding jerked his head
towards the outrage. Just then the water jet faltered,
sank and disappeared. The plumber had located the stopcock.
You had the job of maintaining the fountain, I suppose:
cleaning it, and so on?
Thats right.
Bit of a nuisance, was it?
Harding blew out his cheeks. Here, what do you think
youre getting at? He stared,belligerently at Larch, then
looked across at Kebble, as if challenging him to translate
the innuendo into plainer terms. But Kebble was busy
examining a cigarette he had just lighted.
Larch said smoothly: Its entirely up to you, Mr
Harding, to decide what you think I mean. I dont think
I have said anything to which you should take exception.
You as good as said Id blown the damn thing up myself
to save cleaning it.
For the first time in the interview Larch looked directly
at the park keeper. Really, Mr Harding, he said reprovingly.
Then he turned and regarded the few ancients who
still lingered around the site of the explosion. Id be
obliged if you could find a few stakes and rope that area
off. We shall want to take a closer look at it without being
trampled to death by the Over-Sixty clubs.
As they drove back into town, Kebble said: You dont
really think he did it, do you?
Larch smiled. Why not? Hes a cheeky bastard. With
effortless precision he swung the big car out to the crown
of the road and overtook a slow procession of vans and
lorries. Unless, of course, he added, you know whos
responsible.
Me, old chap? Kebble affected the pained surprise that
he knew Larch expected of him.
Certainly. But I was forgettinga journalist never gives
away the source of his information, does he?
Never, Kebble cheerfully confirmed. He found the
strain of playing to Larchs humour did not diminish with
the years.
As the car approached the Borough Bridge he was
reminded of the other matter he had intended to mention.
You knew Stan Biggadyke had piled his car up, I suppose?
Has he really? Larch sounded as if he had been told
that the Great Lama had hairs in his nostrils.
Didnt anyone tell you!
Maybe. What special reason have you to be interested?
God, thought Kebble, here we go again. He said: Im
interested in everything and everybody. A professional
nosey parker. Squalid, isnt it?
Youre a damned interfering old nuisance. Larch
remained silent for a while, as he always did after a
vituperative remark so as to give opportunity for it to be
wondered at and worried over. Then, quietly and with the
calculated indifference of a man fond of fancying himself
much feared, he went on: Yes, I know about Biggadyke.
He was taken slightly ill when he was driving. He hit a
lorry. I believe hes likely to be in hospital for a day or
two. Thats all.
No charge?
Larch gave Kebble a quick, angry glance. Why should
there be?
I just wondered.
Drawing the car to the curb outside the Chronicle office,
Larch leaned across his passenger and opened the door.
Then he jocularly punched flat the editors hat and handed
it to him. Dont forget its the police ball on the 14th.
If you give it a respectable mention this week I might
cancel the instruction Im just about to give for you to be
booted out of the station next time you try and bother me.
From the pavement, Kebble acknowledged the sally with
a patient grin as he restored the dignity of his hat and set
it once more on the back of his head. Thoughtfully, he
watched the big car accelerate towards the Fen Street
junction.
Chapter Three
Shortly after Larch had sat down again at
his desk. Councillor Pointer looked round the door. Larch
beckoned him in.
Pointer sat down carefully and placed his bowler hat,
brim uppermost, between his feet. He looked sour enough
for this arrangement to have been a precaution.
Larch rested his jaw on his palm and regarded him lazily.
Now then, whats bitten you?
I was just about blown out of bed last night. I rang
down here to find what had happened.
Well?
The clot who answered couldnt grasp what I was talking
about. He tried to tell me to ring the blasted gas board.
Pointers tiny black moustache quivered.
He probably hadnt heard anything. Your place is a bit
out of town.
Dont be ridiculous, Hector. It rocked the street. Youre
not going to tell me you didnt hear it?
Not from Flaxborough, I didnt. Tuesdays my civil
defence night.
Pointer grunted acknowledgment. All the same, you can
take my word for it; the windows nearly came in. And all
that fool could do was to spell out my name letter by
letter as if he was cutting it in granite. I want you to see he
gets a kick up the backside.
Larch sighed. Look, pop: we know all about that
explosion. Sergeant Worples over there now. It was Worple
who took your report. Dont worry, he knows his stuff.
Yes, but...
Youre just in time for some coffee. Larch reached to
a bell push at the side of the desk.
Pointer did not pursue the argument but his boot button
eyes continued to pivot restlessly. He found singularly
irritating his son-in-laws reluctance to admit the
inefficiency of his staff.
Are you calling in on Hilda later on? Larch asked him.
Possibly.
Well you might tell her that Stan had an accident this
morning. Nothing serious. Bent his wagon a bit.
Pointers anger broke surface. Biggadyke, you mean.
Why that...
Thats right, Larch interrupted smoothly. Hes in the
General, I believe...Oh, Bensona squat, sandy-haired
constable had appeared in the doorwaymake it two
coffees, will you? He waited until the door had closed,
then looked at his visitor. Why, whats Stan done
wrong?
Just about everything hes ever had a chance to get away
with. You know perfectly well what he is. It beats me why
you let the swine into the house. As for allowing Hilda...
Larchs long, sunken cheek twitched. Yes? he lisped.
Well, damn it all. Hector... Pointer glared at his
hat, then suddenly picked it up and clapped it on the desk.
The topmost of Larchs neatly stacked papers was fanned
from the pile and floated to the floor.
Larch bent slowly and retrieved it. Hildas friends are
her own affair, and when one of them happens to be a
friend of mine as well so much the less need for you to
worry. Or, he added after a pause, her mother.
Pointer looked up at the ceiling. Oh, for heavens sake!
All right: I know she doesnt like him.
I dont care a rap who she likes. Im giving you my
opinion, not hers. Biggadykes not the sort of specimen I
should have thought a policeman would care to associate with.
Youd be surprised if I told you some of the people I
have to keep on my social register. Theyd be cut dead in
the mayors parlour but theyre damned useful to me.
Thats different. I have to mix with some queer customers
in my trade, but I dont invite them home if I can
help it. Always keep em the other side of the counter, son.
Larch felt like telling his father-in-law that this, his
advice-to-my-men manner, did not wash outside the committee
room of the Comrades of the Trenches Club. But his
shrug was a dismissal of the subject. He never carried an
argument beyond the stage at which his ultimate winning
of it became problematical.
In Jubilee Park, Sergeant Worple paced slowly and in
isolation around the enclosure roped off by Mr Harding. He
contemptuously ignored the stares of those whom the spectacle
of his apparent quarantine had drawn, like inquisitive
badgers, from the Old Mens Shelter. He also affected not
to hear the disrespectful remarks of two or three small
boys who kept asking him the time.
During the previous half hour the sergeant had collected
a lot of measurements, in the relevance of which he had
no faith whatever, and also what few material cluesmostly
twisted metal fragmentsas he thought might testify
to his zeal and perspicacity. These he had put in an envelope.
Worple was about to quit his compound when he was
greeted by a man who, though grey-haired, stood apart
from the solemn excursionists from the Old Mens Shelter.
The policeman strolled over and ducked beneath the rope.
Sheep dog trials? the man asked pleasantly.
Actually, said Worple, no, sir. Your guess is very
wide. The talk is all of an explosion.
My!
Look over there, Mr Payne. He pointed to the concrete
apron from which the last vestiges of water were steaming
off into the midday sunshine. We have reason to believe
that that was the work of a bomb.
Wasnt there a sort of memorial there? I seem to
remember one.
A drinking fountain, Mr Payne. An amenity. One
pressed a button in the centre of the representation of a
lions faceits nose, as it wereand a stream of water was
released downward from a faucet. It worked on the principle
of mains pressure.
Ingenious, remarked Mr Payne. He drummed his cheek
with two fingers and stared thoughtfully at the space
vacated by the drinking fountain.
Cornelius Payne bore a striking resemblance to the late
Arturo Toscanininot that the fact was much remarked
upon in Chalmsbury. He had a triangular, sensitive face;
crisp hair that tended to bunch at the sides; dark but by no
means mournful eyes, deep set and watchful; and a waxed
moustache that emphasized the firm, slightly sceptical set
of his mouth.
The two men turned and strolled slowly toward the
park gates. It was very hot and to the scent of drying
grass mowings the light breeze added the oily tang of tar,
spreading in wrinkled waves beneath the roadside dust.
When they were a safe distance from the eyes of the old
men, Worple brought out from his tunic pocket the
envelope of clues. He invited Payne to look inside. Thats
about all I managed to find, he explained. Of course, a
mine detectors what you want on a job like that. You wear
headphones, you know, and they give a sort of high-pitched
squeal when the detector passes over metal.
Payne peered politely at the collection of mangled bits
and pieces.
They all mean something, looked at properly, urged
the sergeant.
Payne gingerly extracted one of the objects and held it
on his palm. Try interpreting this, he invited.
The sergeant regarded it with head inclined first one way
then the other. Finally he said: Part of the firing
mechanism, I shouldnt wonder, sir. Of the bomb, you know.
That hinge, you see, would enable contact to be made when...
Its a suspender, said Payne. He dropped it back in
the envelope.
Some minutes later when they were walking along East
Street (it was regarded in Chalmsbury as no great reflection
upon either party for a policeman and a civilian to be seen
in companionship) Worple returned to the subject.
I believe youre right about that thing being a memorial.
I remember now. It was subscribedpaid for, you knowby
Mrs Courtney-Snell.
Payne nodded. Leather-chops. Thats right.
Worple gave him a reproachful glance. Shes a magistrate, sir.
Ah!
Yes, indeed. A Justice of the Peace. Now I wonder if
anyone had a grudge against her. Or against her late
husband, for that matter. He was a decent enough gentleman,
though, as far as I recall.
Wasnt he mixed up in a law-suit or something just
before he died?
Not mixed up exactly, the sergeant corrected. He was
the successful plaintiff. He sued that haulage contractor, Mr
Biggadyke, for slander. Thats defamation of character by
word of mouth, sir.
A somewhat impetuous man, Mr Biggadyke, by all
accounts.
Very likely. But that was no excuse for him going
round and telling everybody that story about the Colonel
and Bessie Egan.
Ah, yes. And the spurs.
Worple shook his head gloomily and turned his attention
to the mussel boats that were slipping in slow procession
beneath the Borough Bridge, bound for the stages
another quarter of a mile up river. Tide time, he
remarked, with the countrymans instinct for allowing no
merely human speculations to interfere with the conscientious
marking off of natures periods.
I suppose, added Worple, that youll be off for
your dinner now. Think of me, wont you: straight off
nights and being kept out of bed by this bomb business.
The words were belied by his air of self-congratulation;
obviously he found the bomb business a welcome diversion.
Rotten luck, said Payne, watching for a chance to cross
the road.
Of course, you know what the trouble is, confided the
sergeant closely. Its the chief inspector. He hasnt the
first idea when it comes to looking into something unusual.
Hes not had the education, you know. Still, keep that to
yourself.
I shall indeed. Naturally. Payne raised his hand in
farewell and stepped from the kerb.
He did not, however, go straight to lunch. Outside the
Nelson and Emma he encountered Barrington Hoole.
Wordlessly, as if by treaty, both men stepped down into
the cool stone passageway of the inn. They pushed past
the arguing overflow of farmers and seed merchants from
the great bow-windowed market bar and entered the comparatively
deserted tap room.
Seated in a corner was Mr Kebble, diligently writing on
the backs of envelopes a platitudinous confection that he
hoped would pass muster as that weeks Pew and Pulpit, a
feature normally contributed by a rota of local clergymen,
the copy for which had been lost in the case-room.
Taking a hasty swig from his tankard of brandy and
water, the editor spotted the new arrivals and beamed.
With you in a minute. Then he penned, with the ease of
long practice, three final unexceptionable sentiments,
measured at a glance the total column-inchage, and thankfully
screwed on the cap of his pen. God bless us, every
one, he murmured and swept the envelopes into his pocket.
This action seemed to serve as a reminder. He delved into
another pocket and withdrew a still damp print which he
put down on the table before Payne and Hoole.
The optician pinched his lips and hummed nasally a little
tune as he appraised the photograph. I ought to know this
ostentatious projectile. He looked up. Its Biggadykes,
isnt it?
Kebble nodded. Look at the depth of focus, he said
enthusiastically. Dead sharp.
What happened to Biggadyke, then? Payne asked.
Kepple leaned towards him and pointed to parts of the
picture. Hes got every dent, has Harry. Every scratch.
Look at that.
Yes, but what happened? Payne repeated.
Hit a lorryyou cant touch the old focal-plane half-plate
jobs. Heavy, but...God, see that fellows foot near
the back wheel ? You could count the stitches in his socks.
I trust the lorry driver escaped injury, said Hoole, anxiously.
Kebble wrenched his gaze from Harrys achievement and
picked up his tankard. Oh yes, hes perfectly alright.
What about Biggadyke, though? Payne persisted.
In hospital, they tell me, He drank, then shook his
head and frowned. Those nurses must have a pretty rotten life.
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