"GL3APP" - читать интересную книгу автора (vol03)

the hillock green he leapt upon -
the elfin loveliness was gone;]

729. Intolerable bathos and prose in a passage of such
tension.

[The original reading of B in line 739 was:

its echoes wove a halting spell:]

739. Why halting? 'Let the amanuensis take back his
rubbish' (Bentley) .

[Against this my father wrote 'A spell to halt anyone', but in the margin
of B he wrote staying/binding, and I have adopted binding in the
text.]

[The original reading of B in lines 741 - 5 was:

His voice such love and longing fill 741
one moment stood she, touched and still;
one moment only, but he came
and all his heart was burned with flame. 744]

741-2. The historic present is always to be suspected. The
second verse is hopelessly corrupt. Touched in this
sense is impossible in the language of the Geste: and
if the word were possible, the conception is fitter for a
nineteenth century drawing-room in Narrowthrode
than for the loves of heroes. HL read:

And clear his voice came as a bell
Whose echoes move a wavering spell
Tinuviel. Tinuviel.
Such love and longing filled his voice
That, one moment, without choice,
One moment without fear or shame,
Tinuviel stood; and like a flame
He leapt towards her as she stayed
And caught and kissed that elfin maid.

[My father marked the passage 'revise', and very roughly corrected it
(adopting the concluding verses of Lewis's version) to the form which I
have given in the text, despite the defective couplet.]

[The original reading of B was:

aswoon in mingled grief and bliss,
enchantment of an elvish kiss.)