"H. Turnip Smith - All Traffic Keep Right" - читать интересную книгу автора (Smith H Turnip)

game of chess! However, all the commotion threw my game
completely off. So I was hauled off to jail. This annoyed me,
too, so I pig-snorted at the guard-private that was taking me.
Big mistake! Now, I'm a trouble- maker in addition to being a
poisoner. Once in the jailcell, I was beaten severely by the
guard, fitted with a ball and chain on my ankle and another on
my wrist! The idiot put it on my right wrist, apparently not
noticing that my sword was set for a left-hand draw. I was
searched but the guard didn't find my money.
To amuse himself while waiting for Corporal Mudd to arrive
(Mudd is the Lord Sheriff's right hand), the guard had me do
laps around a puddle, dragging my ball and chain. The indignity
of it! I, who was raised for better things, forced to perform
for a guard!
I had a brief conversation with an Oriental gentleman who
thought that I was training my arm and leg to greater strength.
I went along with this, hoping to convince him to help me out
of the weight while the guard wasn't looking. I claimed to have
lost the key and wished to change legs and arms so that I
wouldn't develop lop-sided. He wished to help but had no way of
opening the locks... Grrrr! But I kept a pleasant smile on my
face. Fools must be suffered until time to fleece them.
Soon Corporal Mudd arrived to hear my case. I freely admitted
to killing... well... stabbing, anyway ... the servitor at the
Inn, and gave my reason. The priest of Baku backed up my story
(always smile at priests and donate to their god and you can
get away with a lot), but it didn't do much good. Fortunately,
Mudd didn't want to spend the day watching me in jail, so he
let me go. But he took my sword! I pleaded with him to let me
keep my sword. It's dangerous out there for an unarmed man! He
was adamant. I strode off, seething.
After I calmed down, I went back to the town scribe and asked
nicely to talk to the Captain (getting Mudd's rank wrong - so I
was sent to someone else). The scribe sent me to the Lord
Sheriff! Oh well. I tried convincing the sheriff to give me my
sword back but he checked my story against Mudd's first. He
then fined me one silver and gave me my sword on condition that
I return by noon the following day and pay the fine, or have
the fine increased and be branded. Where am I going to get a
silver by tomorrow?
Nothing for it but to waylay someone. And that's not easy in
broad daylight! I finally saw someone trailing a little behind
another group but my dagger got stuck in my robe. I had already
made up my mind to take her, so I used my sword - I swear I
didn't realize that there was still some poison on my blade!
Her scream brought the others running, so I couldn't search her
for some coin. Blast - my luck is running foul today.
I managed to evade the chase and then took off my hood to
change my appearance.
Once I got back to my cabin in Lowtown, I changed all my