"William Mark Simmons - Undead 1 - One Foot in the Grave" - читать интересную книгу автора (Simmons William Mark)

Not that I wasn't grateful: I had apparently been rescued from . . . well . . . something. But now my
so-called rescuers refused to stop the vehicle or return me to town.
"I mean we are talking way beyond vandalism, destruction of property, assault—" I looked at
Mooncloud "—impersonating a doctor."
"Obviously, you haven't been listening." This from the woman with the crossbow who had by now
introduced herself as Lupé Garou. A slight French-Canadian accent seemed to authenticate her last name
while the cloud of smokey, brown-black hair and coffee-with-cream complexion made sense of her first.
"Oh, I've been listening," I said. "I've heard every word you've said since we left town. The problem
is I'm just not buying!"
"What part are you having difficulty with?" Garou asked.
I sighed and leaned my forehead against the dashboard.
"Be patient, dear," I heard Mooncloud murmur. "This is all rather new to him."
"Okay, let's start with me." I sat back up, turning to Mooncloud. "You say that I'm a vampire. I'll play
along for a moment and pretend that there really are such things." I opened my mouth wider and ran a
finger around my incisors. " 'Ook, ma; nah fahgs." I withdrew the finger. "Can't bite necks and suck
blood without fangs."
Mooncloud was unfazed. "Mr. Csejthe, I did not say that you are a vampire. I was explaining that
you appear to be in the transitional phase. A rather long and uncharacteristically drawn out phase, I might
add."
Hoo boy.
"Yeah? Well, how did I get started on this so-called phase? Where's the bloodsucker who's
supposed to have bitten me?"
"That's what we're in the process of trying to determine."
"But you are not being very cooperative," Garou added.
 "I'm not being cooperative? I'm not being cooperative? I want to go home! Or back to the radio
station. A crime has been committed, property destroyed—the authorities have to be contacted. Good
God! They'll think I was responsible!"
Mooncloud shook her head. "You can't go back."
Garou chimed in. "You're going to have to face the fact that you are a dead man—both figuratively
and literally."
"Look, lady, don't threaten me! I've had it up to here and if you keep pushing—"
"You'll what?" she asked coolly.
I stared back, holding her gaze for a long moment while I tried to think. "Wet my pants."
"What?"
"I gotta go." I turned to Mooncloud. "Or are you planning on driving all the way to Seattle without
bathroom breaks?" The two women exchanged looks. "Oh great! You were! You really haven't planned
this out, have you?"
"We planned on having more time to convince you."
"We hadn't counted on one of Bassarab's hounds showing up so soon," Garou said.
"Whatever," I said, waving my hand. I had no intention of being sidetracked now. "Pull over."
"Lupé and I will decide when and where to stop, Mr. Csejthe."
"What is the big deal here?" I gestured toward the windshield. "We're in the middle of nowhere.
Kansas back roads at three a.m. No traffic. Nothing but cornfields in every direction for miles. Where
am I gonna go?" My captors exchanged a look. "Except behind a bush."
Mooncloud nodded and began slowing the Winnebago.
"Find me a spot with some bushes. I'm modest."
"I don't like this," Garou muttered.
"It will be all right, dear," her companion said. "I think once we're done here, Mr. Csejthe will be a
little more trusting."
Garou scowled but nodded. "And, perhaps, a little less testy."