"Mike Resnick - Tales Of The Galactic Midway - Alien-Tamer" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Mike)

“My work is far from demanding, and my salary is commensurate with the demands
of my job. Under normal circumstances I would never manage to accumulate enough
money to visit more than one or two nearby worlds. As yet, I do not even havethat
much.”
“And you figure this is the cheapest way to see the galaxy?”
“That is correct,” said Batman.
“Well, to business: what can you do besides talk and scare the hell out of little kids?”
“I have never seen a carnival, although I have read about them in my encyclopedia. I
feel that I certainly can perform feats equal to those of an unintelligent animal.”
“I sure as hell would hope so, considering that Bruno still wasn't housebroken when
he died.” Monk stood up, hands on hips, and studied the Sabellian with an expert eye.
“Well, you look the part, I'll give you that. And as long as you got hands, I ought to
be able to teach you a little juggling.”
He walked once around the creature. “With feet like yours, you ought to be able to
walk a tightrope, too. I don't suppose you can fly or glide with those big flaps of
yours?”
“No,” said Batman. “They are from an earlier period in my race's evolutionary cycle.”
Monk grunted and stared at him in silence for another minute. “What else can you do?
Haveyou got any questions?”
Batman shrugged. “I can probably do just about anything you yourself can do—
except consume alcohol, that is.”
“Yeah? And what do you thinkI can do?”
“I don't know,” admitted Batman. “Juggle. Jump through hoops. Walk a tightrope.
Meaning no offense, but when I first saw you this morning, I would have thought
even such simple tricks as those would be beyond you. It goes to show how deceiving
appearances can be.”
“Spare me your platitudes,” said Monk dryly.
“One of the qualities of a platitude is that while it may be trite, it is self-evidently
true,” replied the Sabellian.
Monk chuckled. “So you might even pay to watch me perform in a ring, huh?”
“If I had the money,” agreed Batman. “So would most of my friends. You really do
appear quite terrifying to us, you know.”
“Yeah. Well, to quote another platitude, beauty is in the eye of the—” Monk broke off
suddenly. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed.
“I am afraid I am getting another incorrect translation,” said Batman.
“Shut up and let me think for a minute!” said Monk excitedly. He began pacing
around the room, puffing furiously on his cigar. “Goddammit, it'll work!” he
announced at last.
“What will?” asked Batman, genuinely puzzled.
“What we've just been talking about!” said Monk enthusiastically.
“Platitudes?”
“Money!”
“I don't recall speaking about money,” said Batman.
“Neverthegoddamnless,” said Monk, “that's exactly what we were talking about. So
far Mr. Ahasuerus has been choosing nothing but humanoid worlds. We're gonna
change all that!”
“I am afraid that I still don't understand you.”
“You and me, we're gonna work our way back to the show, setting down on a bunch
of Community worlds along the way and working on our act. On the humanoid
worlds,I'll be the trainer andyou'll be the animal; and on the non-humanoid worlds, or