"Laura Resnick - Highway to Heaven" - читать интересную книгу автора (Resnick Laura)

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Highway to Heaven
by Laura Resnick
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Copyright (c)1997 Laura Resnick
First published in Highwaymen: Robbers and Rogues, DAW Books, June 1997

Fictionwise Contemporary
Science Fiction and Fantasy


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She was a pretty little thing, no denying it. Slim, blonde, young --
maybe a little overdressed for the job, but, hey, who am I to tell a dame what
to wear? Still, I gotta say, that skirt was so short that no daughter of
_mine_ would've been allowed out of the house in it. And now this girl would
be wearing that skimpy orange thing through all Eternity. Just goes to show
you: parents can never be too careful. But then, according to the Boss, this
girl's parents had been a couple of real polenta-eaters, anyhow.
"Excuse me," the girl said to some guy riding by on an elephant. He
ignored her. "_Excuse_ me," she repeated. "You're going to have to stop and
wait your turn. As you can see, this lady got here before you." She pointed to
an old broad in a wheelchair.
"Out of my way, woman!" the guy snapped, urging his elephant to keep
going.
"Aren't we done here _yet?_" The old woman sounded kind of pissed off.
"Oh, pardon me for doing my job." The girl sounded pretty pissed off,
too. "_Hull-o-o-o!_ I've already explained to you how this works. Now, are you
going to hand over -- "
"Onward! Onward, Maia, onward!" cried the guy on the elephant.
The girl, whose name (according to the Boss -- who's never wrong, after
all) was Mimi, waved her clipboard at the elephant. It shied away from her --
and backed straight into a buggy. No, not a baby thing; I mean one of those
horse-drawn things. The horse squealed and made a mess all over the highway.
The man in the buggy started shouting. So did the old lady _and_ the pansy on
the elephant.
I rolled my eyes and decided it was time to step in and take charge. No
_wonder_ the Boss had sent me here to straighten things out!
I pulled out my piece and fired into the air. That got everyone to shut
up real fast. Then I pointed it straight at the guy on the elephant. "Yo! Hey,