"Robert Rankin - Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls" - читать интересную книгу автора (Robert Rankin)

`He has a point there,' said Soap. `One that might be worth considering.'

`I'll hold you hostage, then,' said the small fellow. `I'll demand a helicopter and one hundred thousand
pounds in cash and a takeaway Chinese with all the trimmings and a cat named Lofty and a pair of pink
pyjamas and some chocolate cake and--'

`Have to stop you there,' said Omally.

`Why?' asked Small Dave. `I was just getting into my stride.'

`Out of your tree, more like,' said Soap.

`What did you say?' Small Dave brandished the gun.

`Nothing,' said Soap. `I just sneezed. Out-a-ya-tree. Like that, see?'

`Yeah, well you be careful. Or I'll shoot you.

`Eh?' said Soap.

`We know you're in there,'came that old loudhailer voice. `Comeout with your hands held high.'

Neville looked up from his polishing. `Did someone order a minicab?' he asked.

`It's the police,' said John. `They've come for Dave.'

`Oh, that's all right, then.' Neville buffed a pint pot on his apron. `Does he want another drink before
they cart him off?'

`Same again?' asked Omally.

`Yeah, thanks,' said Small Dave. `Let me get these, though. Here, hold the gun while I find my purse.

Omally took the gun. `If this could only speak,' he said, turning it upon his palm.

`What do you think it would say?' asked Soap. `I think it would say, "I'm sorry I had to do that. But
you'll thank me for it later."'

`Why would it say that?'

Omally raised the gun and brought it down upon the head of Small Dave. The midget collapsed
unconscious on the floor.
`Ah, right,' said Soap. `I got you now.

Neville gave Omally a hand. Together they managed to stuff Small Dave up the back of Soap's big
black coat. Soap wasn't keen and he put up a lot of protest. But he did agree with Omally that Dave was
a very bad man to cross. What with him being such a vindictive, grudge-bearing wee bastard and
everything and how it would probably be in everyone's best interests simply to smuggle him out of the
Swan and set him free on the allotments.