"Lewis Padgett - When the Bough Breaks 1.0" - читать интересную книгу автора (Padgett Lewis)

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Alexander's turned into a black magician, that's all." She dropped into a chair and passed a palm across her forehead. "Do you know what that genius son of ours just did?"
"Bit you," Calderon hazarded, not doubting it for a minute.
"Worse, far worse. He started asking me for candy. I said there wasn't any in the house. He told me to go down to the grocery for some. I said I'd have to get dressed first, and I was too tired."
"Why didn't you ask me to go?"
"I didn't have the chance. Before I could say boo that infantile Merlin waved a magic wand or something. I... I was down at the grocery. Behind the candy counter."
Calderon blinked. "Induced amnesia?"
"There wasn't any time-lapse. It was just phweet-and there I was. In this rag of a dress, without a speck of makeup on, and my hair coming down in tassels. Mrs. Busherman was there, too, buying a chicken-that cat across the hall. She was kind enough to tell me I ought to take more care of myself. Meow," Myra ended furiously.
"Good Lord."
"Teleportation. That's what Alexander says it is. Something new he's picked up. I'm not going to stand for it, Joe. I'm not a rag doll, after all." She was half hysterical.


Calderon went into the next room and stood regarding his child. There was chocolate smeared around Alexander's mouth.
"Listen, wise guy," he said. "You leave your mother alone, hear me?"
"I didn't hurt her," the prodigy pointed out, in a blobby voice. "I was simply being efficient."
"Well, don't be so efficient. Where did you learn that trick, anyhow?"
"Teleportation? Quat showed me last night. He can't do it himself, but I'm X Free super, so I can. The power isn't disciplined yet. If I'd tried to teleport Myra Calderon over to Jersey, say, I might have dropped her in the Hudson by mistake."
Calderon muttered something uncomplimentary. Alexander said, "Is that an Anglo-Saxon derivative?"
"Never mind about that. You shouldn't have all that chocolate, anyway. You'll make yourself sick. You've already made your mother sick. And you nauseate me."
"Go away," Alexander said. "I want to concentrate on the taste."
"No. I said you'd make yourself sick. Chocolate's too rich for you. Give it here. You've had enough." Calderon reached for the paper sack. Alexander disappeared. In the kitchen Myra shrieked.
Calderon moaned despondently, and turned. As he had expected, Alexander was in the kitchen, on top of the stove, hoggishly stuffing candy into his mouth. Myra was concentrating on the bottle.
"What a household," Calderon said. "The baby tele-porting himself all over the apartment, you getting stewed in the kitchen, and me heading for a nervous breakdown." He started to laugh. "O.K., Alexander. You can keep the candy. I know when to shorten my defensive lines strategically."
"Myra Calderon," Alexander said. "I want to go back into the other room."
"Fly in," Calderon suggested. "Here, I'll carry you."
"Not you. Her. She has a better rhythm when she walks."
"Staggers, you mean," Myra said, but she obediently put aside the bottle, got up, and laid hold of Alexander. She went out. Calderon was not much surprised to hear her scream a moment later. When he joined the happy family, Myra was sitting on the floor, rubbing her arms and biting her lips. Alexander was laughing.
"What now?"
"H-he sh-shocked me," Myra said in a child's voice. "He's like an electric eel. He d-did it on purpose, too. Oh, Alexander, will you stop laughing!"
"You fell down," the infant crowed in triumph. "You yelled and fell down."
Calderon looked at Myra, and his mouth tightened. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked.
"Yes. She fell down. She looked funny."
"You're going to look a lot funnier in a minute. X Free super or not, what you need is a good paddling."
"Joe-" Myra said.
"Never mind. He's got to learn to be considerate of the rights of others."
"I'm homo superior," Alexander said, with the air of one clinching an argument.
"It's homo posterior I'm going to deal with," Calderon announced, and attempted to capture his son. There was a stinging blaze of jolting nervous energy that blasted up through his synapses; he went backwards ignominously, and slammed into the wall, cracking his head hard against it. Alexander laughed like an idiot.
"You fell down, too," he crowed. "You look funny."
"Joe," Myra said. "Joe. Are you hurt?"
Calderon said sourly that he supposed he'd survive. Though, he added, it would probably be wise to lay in a few splints and a supply of blood plasma. "In case he gets interested in vivisection."
Myra regarded Alexander with troubled speculation. "You're kidding, I hope."
"I hope so, too."
"Well-here's Bordent. Let's talk to him."
Calderon answered the door. The four little men came in solemnly. They wasted no time. They gathered about Alexander, unfolded fresh apparatus from the recesses of their paper clothes, and set to work. The infant said, "I teleported her about eight thousand feet."
"That far, eh?" Quat said. "Were you fatigued at all?"
"Not a bit."
Calderon dragged Bordent aside. "I want to talk to you. I think Alexander needs a spanking."
"By voraster!" the dwarf said, shocked. "But he's Alexander! He's X Free type super!"
"Not yet. He's still a baby."
"But a superbaby. No, no, Joseph Calderon. I must tell you again that disciplinary measures can be applied only by sufficiently intelligent authorities."
"You?"