"Maxwell, Ann - [Concord 01] - The Singer Enigma (v1.0) htm" - читать интересную книгу автора (Maxwell Ann)The Singer EnigmaConcord, Book 1 Ann Maxwell 1976 THE TRUTH SEEKER Tarhn had the blood of the rulers of space in his veins—and
a mysterious horror shadowing his secret soul. He knew only that he had been
exiled from the planet where he was born, and raised by an alien race for the
psychic powers he possessed—but what fearful force had stripped him of his
childhood memories and almost of his sanity still remained unknown as he
reached manhood and the challenge he could avoid no longer. Now, as an all-destroying blight spread from planet to
planet, from galaxy to galaxy, Tarhn had to find out the truth about himself
and his past no matter what the terrible cost For if he went on living a lie,
the entire universe would die ... Excerpt from a closed discussion of Assembly Council PA382
(Singer), Councillor Elenda speaking: We are taught that when we lose ourselves on the spiral of
knowledge, it is best to remember where we have been, and why. Let us begin
again with a review of our responsibilities to this Council, to the full Assembly,
and to the Concord. The Concord has only one command: No group shall wage undeclared
war. The Assembly’s primary function is to expel, proscribe, or annihilate
planets that break this command. Did the Singers wage undeclared war? It would seem a simple matter to decide. A group is defined
as three or more persons acting in concert toward a common goal. Undeclared war
is any group act which, in the absence of a Declaration of Intent, results in
the premeditated deaths of more than one hundred Concord citizens within eight
Centrex days. There is no doubt that the Singers fit our definition of a
group. There is no doubt that more than one hundred citizens died within eight
days. There is no doubt that no Declaration of Intent was issued. Only premeditation
is in doubt. The full Assembly could not resolve that doubt. Three thousand
beings from three thousand distinct cultures can rarely agree on the simplest
matters; whatever else the Singers may be, they are not simple. The Assembly delegated the Singer decision to this Council.
We have spent years, many years, attempting to understand the Singers. We have
not succeeded. Fortunately, we are not alone in our search for understanding.
There exists a group/society/entity called Carifil which also sifts nuances out
of ambiguities, seeking the residue of pattern which permits insight into
Galactic events. Though the Carifil have no legal existence under the Concord
Charter, Carifil talents have been very useful to the Concord. We do not know
who the Carifil are, but we do know that they have no single planet home, no
single racial identity, no allegiance except to the Concord. Their information
is not tainted by parochialism. Carifil have been called everything from
assassins to saviors; they are both, and neither. Some Carifil have Attained
high Concord positions, most have no official powers. All have unusual mental
abilities. None is infallible. Which brings us to the Singer enigma once again .... IN’Lete’s urgent, silent call brought Tarhn out of sleep into
instant wakefulness. His mind had overridden the breathing reflex—danger in the
air. In a blur of motion Tarhn ripped nasal filters out of his personal baggage
and fitted them on himself and the slakes. Though the filters looked exactly
like those carried by sensitive Galactic travelers, the filters did more than
block out exotic odors. Tarhn breathed cautiously, but smelled/felt/sensed nothing unusual.
The slakes showed no reaction except relief at being able to breathe safely again. With a few swift motions Tarhn dressed. Unless the slakes’
hypersensitive olfactory perception had sounded a false alarm, someone would be
by shortly. He was more than a little curious to find put whether that someone
wanted him dead or merely unconscious. The slakes were less discriminating. When they heard the
door being unlocked they rose soundlessly on their rear legs and folded their
wings. Their attitude of sharp-toothed eagerness made Tarhn want to laugh
aloud. *Not this time, my friends,* he thought firmly. *I need him
quiet, yes, but still conscious.* The slakes grumbled silently, but when the intruder entered
only n’Lete bit him. And at that she only allowed herself a small bite, enough
to ensure that her paralyzing venom would penetrate quickly. Tarhn caught the man before he fell to the floor, ensuring
that no loud thumps reached curious ears. The intruder wore the standard uniform
of an Adventure crewman. *Others?* By way of answer, the slakes spread their huge wings and
calmly began a grooming ritual. *Good.* Tarhn bent over the man and began to probe. No mind shields
slowed him as he drilled key words into level after level of the crewman’s
mind. It was a technique the Carifil used in psychic integration, but it served
equally well for inquisition. After long minutes of silence Tarhn ended the probe. The
crewman knew little, but what he knew was tantalizing. To him Tarhn was no more
than an ordinary tourist who had passed the afternoon in the ship’s forward
lounge. All forward lounge passengers were to receive a dose of amnesian,
enough to wipe out any memory of the previous twenty-six hours. But amnesian
was unpredictable; different races had varying degrees of resistance to it.
Apparently whoever had planned the operation considered it important enough not
to risk unmeasured doses via the ventilating system. Instead, the victims were
knocked out by an airborne drug. When they were safely asleep, an individually
calibrated dose of amnesian would be administered. Neatly planned. Efficiently executed. But why? Tarhn rapidly reviewed the past day. As ordered, he had
begun his surveillance of Lyra early yesterday. Together with other tourists
bound for Wilderness, they had entered a special Access and emerged on the
sixth planet in the Wilderness system. Then they had embarked onto the Adventure,
a ship on which they were to savor the archaic joys of sublight interplanetary
flight. Lyra had gone straight to her quarters, not to emerge until after today’s
midday meal. He had watched, chosen his moment, and effected a natural entry
into her life. At no tune had he seen or sensed anything unusual, other than
the orange man. And Lyra herself, of course. Tarhn gave a muffled exclamation and injected the amnesian
into the helpless intruder. *Quickly, slakes. We go hunting.* The slakes scrambled onto his shoulders, claws cool and
sharp against his neck. *Gently, n’Lete.* The slake obligingly retracted her claws and wrapped her sinuous
lower body around Tarhn’s neck. Tarhn moved past closed doors in a crouching, weaving run.
Though he could sense no guards, certain precautions were a matter of reflex.
As he neared Lyra’s door he removed a pronged ornament from his belt. Without
hesitation he jammed the prongs deep into the circuit which controlled the
door. A short, low hum vibrated through his bones, then the door retracted part
way. Lyra’s body blocked the door from fully opening. Obviously
she had sensed something was wrong, but couldn’t unlock the door in time. Tarhn sent the slakes out of sight and stepped over Lyra
into the room. He bent down, searching her still body for signs of life.
Neither pulse nor respiration. Skin stiff and cool as a slake’s claws. Tarhn cursed himself for wasting time on the crewman. He
should have come immediately to her. On an impulse he probed her mind. The
probe was easy, so easy; her mind was familiar the instant before discovery,
floating free and light, brilliant with potential, pulsing with subtle rhythms,
more subtle songs. Even as he withdrew, Tarhn felt nearly dizzy with relief.
She was alive. Whatever drug they had given her suspended mind and body, but
did not kill. Someone either knew more about her mind than he did, or was very
cautious. Though alive, Lyra was totally helpless. At the sound of men approaching, Tarhn closed the door silently.
Startled cries and the heavy sound of falling bodies made Tarhn’s lips curve in
an unpleasant smile. He opened the door. *Well done, hunters. * N’Lete rose and flicked the narrow tube of her tongue over
Tarhn’s hand. *Conscious, too. Such restraint!* Tarhn’s praise sent delighted ripples through the slakes’
sinuous bodies. He stroked their triangular heads while he probed the helpless
crewmen. As he had suspected, Lyra was the eye of this storm. One of
the ship’s emergency lifecraft waited. They were to load her aboard, release
the lifecraft to its pre-set course, and report to sickbay for a dose of amnesian. At Tarhn’s signal, n’Lete and Bithe injected enough venom to
keep the crewmen unconscious for several days. Tarhn lifted Lyra easily and settled her across his
shoulders. Not for the first time he realized that being uncommonly big was at
times uncommonly useful. On the other side, though, once in the hallway he
would be a fine target and would gladly trade sizes with a Gallian dwarf. The slakes moved swiftly down the hall. Tarhn waited for several
seconds, then ran lightly after. Twice he had to leap over crewmen sprawled
unconscious across the narrow hall, capsules of amnesian rolling from their
nerveless fingers. Other than those two, though, Tarhn saw no one. It was
unlikely that the decks would be so deserted unless the entire crew had been
bought. He hoped they had. Otherwise there would be an immediate
alarm when one of the lifecraft emerged from the mother ship. Tarhn entered the lifecraft bay at a speed which proved his
trust in the slakes. Nor was he disappointed; they both were coiled proudly
next to their latest victim. *And your last for a time, I hope.* The slakes politely but completely disagreed. *Bloodthirsty beasts, aren’t you?* he thought fondly. N’Lete and Bithe opened their mouths in hissing agreement. Tarhn strapped Lyra into the lifecraft nearest the exit
portal. He yanked out the course tape and switched the controls to manual. *In.* The slakes scrambled. When they realized that Tarhn intended
to strap them down, they clacked their wings loudly. *Hold still or be left behind. * The slakes held still. Tarhn strapped himself into the pilot’s seat. His fingers
moved rapidly over the controls, lifting the craft into humming life. With a final
glance around, Tarhn threw the lever which separated lifecraft from ship. As
the tiny vehicle puffed outward into space, Tarhn breathed deeply for the first
time since he had awakened. “We were lucky, Lyra,” he said softly, “though you’re in no
position to appreciate it. The exit portal was on the sunward side; even if an
unbought crewman or passenger should be foolish enough to look out a portal,
all they’ll see is a great burning sun.” Tarhn held the craft toward Wilderness’ sun. Later he would
change course into a nearly flat trajectory which would put Wilderness between
them and the cruise ship. But now there was little to do but sit, review what
had happened, try to guess why. The assignment had begun in the usual manner—mental alert
from a Carifil, vivid image of whom he was to watch, directions as to the place
he should intercept her. So he had soon found himself aboard the Adventure.
He had discreetly watched over Lyra’s cabin until she finally left it. When she
went to the forward lounge and sat alone, he sat well behind her, waiting to
see whether she had friends or enemies aboard. Although the lounge was thick with people, his quarry was
easy to keep track of. Lyra Mara was a silent amber pool surrounded by flocks
of yammering life. Not so much as a ripple of awareness crossed her face when a
man dyed the last shade of orange sat beside her and attempted conversation. A discreet mental probe of the gaudy man gave Tarhn only the
impression of a fashionable predator seeking diversion from the boredom of interplanetary
flight. Tarhn was not satisfied. His own mind was broadcasting the fiction of a
rich tourist, in case anyone was curious enough to probe. The orange man might
easily be working beneath a similar cover. Tarhn stepped up the probe in stages until it reached the
point of diminishing returns; more information could be gained only at the cost
of revealing the probe to an alert psi. If the orange stranger was other than
he appeared to be, a cursory probe would not uncover him. After a few minutes of listening to the persistent stranger,
Tarhn was ready to believe that he was no more than his mental and physical
surface proclaimed, a vain, mildly intoxicated man of wealth who could not
believe that Lyra was not interested in him. Tarhn chuckled deep within himself. At least the slizzard
showed good taste. Lyra had a tranquil, self-contained beauty that made others
appear garish. Her hair could have been spun of the finest amber and her skin
had-a rich translucence which invited, even demanded touch. And her eyes ...
though he had seen only a vicarious mind-picture of her when he had been given
the assignment, he was certain that no gemstone in the galaxy could match the
red-brown depths of her eyes, much less the tiny starburst of gold which was
their center. Most Galactics had only darkness for pupils. Was the dilating
mechanism the same as his? Would sudden light, interest, fear, or mental effort
cause the gold to expand? With practiced ease, Tarhn brought his thoughts back to
duty. Lyra was undoubtedly attractive, but she was also endangered, dangerous,
or both, and in some way also pivotal to Galactic politics. The Carifil wouldn’t
waste him guarding a nonentity, no matter how beautiful. Tarhn leaned forward fractionally, his senses on full alert.
The orange man was entirely too persistent about getting Lyra to his cabin.
Either he was uncommonly crude or had more than simple pleasure on his mind. With the easy motion of a hunting cat, Tarhn rose and walked
up the aisle. “I am unaware of your home planet,” said Tarhn in high Galactic.
“Is it one on which ceremonial rudeness is practiced?” Perhaps it was Tarhn’s sheer size which made the stranger
speechless. When Tarhn repeated his question in low Galactic, the now furious
man interrupted. “I understand high Galactic better than you,” the man said
loudly. Tarhn’s dark hands lifted in a polite indication of
disbelief, then turned palms up in an apology which was thoroughly negated by
his ice blue eyes. At the same time, the severe planes of Tarhn’s face smoothed
into the expression of one who waits patiently for a dull child to answer a
simple question. “On Danir I would have you killed,” said the man in a
guttural tongue. “And on Tau,” replied Tarhn in the same language, “I would
feed you to the slakes—after you had been bathed. As we are here rather than
there or Danir, I await your pleasure.” “I wouldn’t lower myself to touch you,” said the man. Tarhn bowed and murmured, “Good ... for you.” The insult was doubly telling, for Tarhn had delivered it in
the gutter patois of Danir, a language which a Danirian aristocrat wouldn’t
understand. The stranger’s surge of outrage proved that he had indeed
understood, but to admit it would be a further humiliation. As the stranger retreated, Tarhn turned to Lyra. Looking no
higher than her lips, he addressed her in high Galactic. “I hope that I have not offended you, your people, or your
gods.” “Kindness is rarely offensive,” responded Lyra in the same
language. Her words lacked all trace of planetary accent, but even
more surprising was the quality of her voice. It was rich with muted harmony,
vibrant in a way that made all remembered music pale and flat. Tarhn bowed and turned his hands palm up in the Galactic gesture
of greeting or parting. When Lyra made no further comment, he moved to return
to his seat. Then he felt her fingers warm and light on his palm. “If it would please you to sit with a strange and awkward
woman ....” Tarhn’s fingers returned the pressure of hers, savored the texture
of her skin. “Stranger you may be, but awkward? To listen to your voice
is to know the heart of beauty.” Boldly Tarhn raised his glance to her eyes, only to find
himself caught and held, a fly in amber. “You are kind,” said Lyra, “and your mind is disciplined.
Your presence is welcome.” Tarhn hesitated, then regained control of his wits. His momentary
tension must have relayed itself to Lyra, for she removed her hand quickly. That is what I meant by awkward,” she said softly. “The nuances
of Galactic Courtesy often elude me. On my birth planet a mind both kind and
disciplined is ...” She paused, obviously searching for the right word. “‘Good’
is the only word your language has, but it is a meager analogue.” Tarhn searched Lyra’s face, but could detect no more than
her words told him. He was not surprised that she thought him kind; he’d been
careful to imbue his mental camouflage with that lack of aggression which can
be construed as either harmless or kind. But how had she sensed the discipline
beneath? “I have been called many things; disciplined isn’t one of
them. May I ask why you think me so?” “You don’t invade others with your thoughts. I’ve discovered
that such control is rare out here. I have come to value discipline highly.” Tarhn continued the conversation with just the surface of
his mind; the remainder was analyzing her words. In order to “discover” that
the average person radiates thought/emotion like a star radiates energy, Lyra
must have come either from a planet of psi nulls or psi masters. He would
assume the latter. For one, it would explain Carifil interest in her. For
another, he had been taught to overestimate a potential enemy. Fewer nasty
surprises that way. Not that Lyra seemed a candidate for enmity. By now they
were laughing and talking in middle Galactic, the language of friends. They had
even exchanged names. And the scent of her nearness was as clean and heady as
flowers at dawn. In spite of himself, he felt pleasure creeping through him,
and not even the sternest self-reminders diminished his growing ease with her.
Lyra’s laugh alone was worth the sudden assignment. His residual irritation
with Carifil vanished. Though they had called him away from his first freetime
in years, being ordered to stay close to Lyra was ample compensation. At last Tarhn’s conscience pricked him hard enough to get results—n’Lete
and Bithe would be hungry. Lounge rules forbade “pets,” though Tau slakes could
hardly be classified in the same category as Libern velvets or Sthian lap mice. “I’m sorry, Lyra, but if I don’t feed n’Lete and Bithe they
will gnaw through my room and come hunting for me.” Lyra responded with a phrase from Courtesy which showed
confusion, but did not demand an explanation if he did not wish to give one. “According to lounge rules, they are pets. On Tau, the
children of the Helix are given battle slakes to raise. N’Lete and Bithe are
more companions than pets. Would you like to meet them?” “Oh, yes,” said Lyra, giving him a delighted smile. “On my
planet there are no animals.” After a long moment Tarhn said neutrally, “No animals?” “None. Many plants, marvelous plants. But that’s not the
same. To have flesh live and not be human!” Lyra’s voice left no doubt that such a miracle was to be savored
and explored. Tarhn filed that incredible fact under the growing mental
category called Lyra Mara. He wanted to ask the name of her home planet, but
that would be a curdling breach of Courtesy. Better to wait, grow closer, observe,
as the Carifil had trained him to do. And they had trained him well. Not so
much as a flicker of incredulity escaped his mental discipline. He was almost as wary about communicating his appreciation
of Lyra’s radiant grace. He thought of complimenting her, but said nothing out
of fear that she would be offended. “I’m not,” said Lyra softly. Though Tarhn’s walk never missed a beat, his mind flashed instantly
into defensive silence. “I’ve been clumsy again,” said Lyra. “Forgive me. Your mind
is deeply disciplined, yet ...” She stopped and lifted her strange eyes to his. For a moment
Tarhn felt swept by vertigo as he looked into the widening gold at the center
of her eyes. Then the feeling passed and he found himself listening tensely to
her. “... No word for it here. Complement? Yes, but more. Far
more. Ease and rightness and creation.” When there was no lessening of his mental barriers, Lyra lowered
her eyes and said sadly, “Of all the aspects of Courtesy I don’t understand,
the injunction against truth is the most baffling. I know our minds would be
unity, one with the other, as surely as I know we are man and woman. Yet I must
say nothing or risk offending you. I risked and lost. I will offend no further.” Tarhn watched her walk away, divided between profound relief
and a numbing sense of loss. Out of the turmoil which passed for thought came
the certainty that whatever else might pass, Lyra had told the truth as she
knew it. He would bet his life on it. He already had. The realization that there lived a psi who could easily
penetrate at least the outer levels of his mind moved through him like a shock
wave. Abruptly he turned toward his cabin. What had been a quiet
cruise on an amusingly archaic spaceship had turned into a trap. No Access. No
way for the Carifil to replace him. No way to escape. Tarhn paused in midstride, surprised by the intensity of his
emotions. Just what was he escaping from? A beautiful woman who found him desirable?
A terrible crime, surely, punishable by extended, intimate confinement with
him. He debated going after her and apologizing for his rudeness,
but a cold thread of unease held him back. He tried to pursue the thread, to
discover its source and thus know whether it was tied to real or imagined
threat. But the thread was born of patterns he had avoided so long that they
were inaccessible to him now. With a surge of impatience at his coy mind, Tarhn started
swiftly after Lyra. Whether the danger was real or not, he had a job to do. “Lyra,” he said, catching up with her. “Let’s forget
Courtesy for a while. It’s more suited to people who have little in common and
less common sense.” When she hesitated, he added, “Minds as ... perceptive as
yours are rare. You surprised me. I’m not used to being surprised. I reacted
badly.” Lyra’s sudden smile told him that the contact was retrieved. “My slakes are still hungry. Are you still interested in
seeing them?” In answer, Lyra put her arm through his and leaned lightly
against him. The subtle moonlight scent of her skin made Tarhn take an
involuntary breath. Instantly she pulled back, fearing she had offended him.
Tarhn’s arm tightened, holding her close. “I like it this way,” he said, leading her back down the passageway. “Let’s start again,” he said lightly. “Though born on Tau, I’m
essentially a Concord citizen. I’ve lived on twelve planets and visited many,
many more. Cultural variations seldom surprise me, and the only thing which
offends me is intentional cruelty.” Lyra moved her right hand in an unmistakable gesture of approval. “Good,” he said. “Now. The most logical, rational approach
for us would be to use your cultural norms, at least until we understand each
other well enough to make our own private rules. Agreed?” he said, stopping and
facing her, “Yes.” Tarhn smiled and allowed his fingers to touch her . shining
hair. She tilted her head slightly toward him, inviting further touch. “I assume that touch between strangers isn’t tabu in your culture,”
he said, enjoying the cool, sliding pressure of her hair between his fingers. “Tabu?” “Forbidden. Or at least discouraged, hedged with rituals and
social distance.” “Oh, no. We have no tabus on—” But instead of naming her planet, Lyra simply repeated that
there were no tabus. “We also have no word for strangers,” she added
thoughtfully. “At least, not stranger in the sense carried by the Galactic
word.” Tarhn’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “Semantics. The curse
of man. What would the word stranger mean in your language?” “Nothing, for we have no strangers. Your fingers tensed,
Tarhn. What’s wrong?” Tarhn was amazed by her acute perceptions; his fingers hadn’t
tightened enough to register on a Carifil bio-monitor, yet she had known immediately. “Just surprise,” said Tarhn lightly. “It’s hard to
understand how, on a planet with a population large and advanced enough to join
the Concord, there would be no strangers.” “Then imagine what a surprise the galaxy has. been, and
still is, for me. Since leaving home, you’re the first person I’m glad to be
close to, even with your baffling sharp edges. No, that’s not fair. I must be
as unexpected and jagged to you as you are to me. Yet in so many ways you feel
like a—like one of my people. I keep forgetting you aren’t.” Tarhn looked into her intent amber eyes, gold-centered,
serious and inviting, and wise and confused, and wished for an instant that he
had no reason to know Lyra other than the sweet reason that he wanted to. But he was Carifil, and he had many reasons, some of them unclear
even to himself. He took Lyra’s hand and resumed walking, slowly. “I’m surprised you left your planet,” he said. “It was necessary.” When Lyra didn’t elaborate, Tarhn went back to the subject
of strangers. “Even though your people aren’t strangers among themselves,
didn’t they consider the Galactics to be strangers?” “Not in the sense of alien. We called them otherwise. Our
word has no exact analogue ...” She frowned in concentration. “Is there a word
in Galactic for children who have strayed, but still retain the potential to
return and be unity again?” “Lost?” “No, that’s too accidental and too final. The straying has
an element of choice, more mental than physical. Although, of course, physical
distance often follows mental distance.” Tarhn laughed suddenly. “Prodigal children. Nearly every culture
has its own version of the child who grows and/or goes away from its cultural
values. After various experiences, the child comes to accept the values it was
born with.” “That’s it,” said Lyra. “We call the Galactics prodigal children.” “Then you believe that Galactics should embrace your
cultural values rather than their own?” Lyra hesitated, then gestured agreement. “In some senses,
yes, but ...” Tarhn waited. “Do stars embrace the way of light rather than darkness?”
she asked finally. “Hardly. By definition, a star is matter which radiates
energy within certain wavelengths.” “Exactly. Galactics will realize, as you do, that
intentional cruelty is as ... as ... oh, you’re right, semantics can be a.
curse!” she said, smiling yet serious. “Intentional cruelty is like a star
choosing darkness—not impossible, but highly improbable. A violation of what it
means to be a star.” “You have a difficult culture to live up to,” said Tarhn,
stopping before a closed cabin door. “Not for them. My people.” “Oh?” said Tarhn, pausing as he removed a key from his belt. “Yes. For example ... I’ve heard that Galactics, some of
them, can physically destroy—murder? is that the word?—that they can actually
murder another person.” “It’s been known to happen,” said Tarhn grimly. “And the one who murders lives?” “It varies from culture to culture, but most often the murderer
survives.” Lyra’s hand made a curt Galactic gesture of negation-from-disbelief. “At home, only a very few of my people could even hold the
thought of murder. And of those few, even fewer could carry the action out. Not
one of them could survive it.” Tarhn smiled without humor. “If all planets were as
efficient, and lethal, at catching their murderers, we wouldn’t have a problem
either,” he said, inserting the three-pronged key into the lock circuit. “I wasn’t clear,” said Lyra. “The one who murders—murderer?
yes—the murderer would die as a result of the act, even if there was not one
other person in the universe to know or catch him. To take another’s life is to
negate your own.” “That philosophy isn’t unique to your planet.” “It’s not a philosophy,” said Lyra patiently. “It’s a fact.
Like gravity.” “Then,” said Tarhn, twisting the key in the circuit, “yours
would be the only known planet in the galaxy where philosophy had the
inevitability of universal constants.” “You don’t believe what I’m saying, do you?” “Intellectually, I concede the possibility of anything,”
said Tarhn carefully. “Emotionally ... well, let’s just say I find the whole
idea improbable.” “As improbable as I find the idea of animals?” asked Lyra,
with no rancor in her tone. Tarhn laughed and his impatience fell away. If Lyra wanted
to believe her culture was perfect, and perfectly good, why, he’d once made the
same mistake about his own culture. She would soon discover that no culture condoned
intentional cruelty to one’s own kind. Of course, the definition of just what
constituted “one’s own kind” was sometimes very exclusive. “Come on,” he said. “I’d like you to meet two animals who
are more improbable than most, A warning, though. They’re predators, and quite
proud of it. While they certainly won’t harm you, I’m afraid their delight in
the predatory state might offend you.” “Do they think as we do?” “Ummm. Let’s say that they’d never intentionally harm someone
they care for. It’s just that they care for so few people.” A smile flickered over Lyra’s lips. “I left my planet to learn; perhaps they have something to
teach me.” Tarhn sent a quick, tightly shielded mental command to the
slakes. When the door opened fully, they stayed wrapped about their ceiling
perches instead of launching themselves across the room in their usual
greeting. He heard Lyra’s murmur of surprise as the slakes turned and examined
her with startling blue eyes. “But they’re beautiful,” she said softly. “Such eyes, like
yours.” The slakes rattled their wings slightly; blue light cascaded
off the scaled patterns on the wings. “They don’t frighten you?” said Tarhn. “Oh no. Such beauty.” She looked at him suddenly. “Should I
be frightened?” A small smile came to Tarhn’s lips. “Some call them the deadliest
animal ever to be allied with man. And most people find them ugly. Or at least
unattractive.” “Then I must see differently than most people. How do the
slakes move?” “Very quickly,” laughed Tarhn, holding out his arm. N’Lete
flashed off her perch and coiled securely around his arm and shoulder. “You must be strong, to hold her weight so easily,” said
Lyra, measuring the slake with her eyes. “She’s nearly as long as you, though
very thin.” Tarhn wondered how Lyra had known n’Lete’s sex, but let it
pass. “Slakes have a low density,” said Tarhn, stroking n’Lete’s
long neck. “On Tau they glide and, when forced, fly on the shoulders of the
wind. And the wind always moves, swift and deep. So they have little need for
heavy muscles to power their wings. Their bones are hollow and their skin and
flesh are light, resilient, yet very strong.” N’Lete opened her mouth wide and air rushed hissing through
serrated teeth. Two long fangs folded down from the roof of her mouth. “Yes, n’Lete,” he said, chuckling, “I was just leading up to
that.” Then Tarhn stopped smiling and looked at Lyra. “Perhaps you won’t find
them so beautiful when I tell you how and what they eat. If my description ...
disturbs you, I’ll stop.” Lyra said nothing, waiting and watching him with clear amber
eyes. “The two long teeth (fangs) are hollow. When she bites, a
drug flows through the teeth into the veins of her prey. The prey immediately
is paralyzed or tolled, depending on the amount of drug n’Lete pumps in.” Tarhn
watched, but other than a slight dilation of gold Lyra showed no reaction. “Why,” she said slowly, “do they kill?” “Food. Slakes must eat.” “Are there no plants for them? No ... you have no word for it!”
she said wonderingly. “Symbiosis? Yes. No.” Lyra paused, searching. “Let me describe
what I mean. On my home planet, there are many plants. Some of them are
fulfilled by nurturing us. Slow trembling delight that the fruit of their
bodies mingles and becomes one with ours. Is it like that out here?” Tarhn hesitated, then plunged. “Yes and no, Lyra. Some Galactics
are sensitive enough to the lives and needs of plants to sort out which plants
give willingly and which give only because they can’t get away. But most
Galactics don’t have that sensitivity. All they have is their rumbling stomachs.
If a plant or animal isn’t lethal or very quick, it is eaten. It has always
been this way. The survival imperative. The biosystem of every known planet is
based on it, civilizations are based on it, and individuals accept it with
varying degrees of distaste or pleasure.” Lyra said nothing for a long time; her mind and body fairly
hummed with concentration. In the sudden silence, he remembered the lyrical
voice, subtle music that should have been alien but was more familiar than the
texture of n’Lete’s tongue sucking soothingly against his palm. Once he thought
he heard music, a rhythmic exchange, dispersing. But it must have come from
outside the cabin, for inside all was quiet. With utmost delicacy, he attempted
to eavesdrop on Lyra’s thoughts, but the rhythmic music disturbed him. “Teach me more.” Tarhn started. “About the slakes?” “Any aspect of unity describes the whole.” “What?” said Tarhn, then as he felt the mist of sweat on his
skin he realized just how hard he had tried to penetrate Lyra’s thoughts. Unsuccessfully. He gathered his fraying concentration and returned to the
slakes. “Tongue ... yes .... her tongue is basically a straw with
rasping edges. She sucks the blood from the paralyzed prey, then shreds the
flesh finely and swallows it. Not all of the flesh, unless the wind is strong
enough to lift her and her meal to a safe place, a place where she may lair up
until her body transforms enough of the prey that she can lift and glide on a
normal wind.” “Safe? Then slakes, too, are hunted as food?” “A grounded slake is as good as dead. There are many predators
on land, all of them hungry.” “And the plants ... ?” Tarhn turned his hand palm up. “It takes energy to live. Few
plants offer as much energy, unit for unit, as flesh. Survival again.” Lyra’s eyes were as opaque as her thoughts for a moment,
then she said, “May I touch her, or her mate?” “Bithe thought you’d never get around to him; he was getting
lonely. Here,” said Tarhn, bracing her with his free arm, “hold your arm out as
I did.” “I thought you said they were light.” “They are, but—” Tarhn steadied Lyra as Bithe swooped onto
her arm and shoulder. “—they push off hard,” finished Tarhn. Bithe and Lyra studied each other for a moment, then Bithe’s
tongue flicked out and tickled Lyra’s nose. “Behave yourself, Bithe,” said Tarhn. Lyra laughed delightedly. “No, let him touch as he pleases.
He’s not heavy at all. Like lightning ... all power and movement.” “And danger,” muttered Tarhn. But not for Lyra. She had a
voice and touch that would charm a rogue slizzard. When Lyra’s fingers unerringly found the patch of skin under
Bithe’s wing that forever needed scratching, Tarhn realized that Lyra must be in
some type of rapport with the slake. He probed discreetly, but neither of the
animals had the sluggish mind and muscles that betrayed an animal under mental
control. And Bithe fairly rippled pleasure at finding another pair of hands
that knew where he itched. Tarhn sighed inside himself; the Carifil weren’t
going to be happy when they found out the qualities of Lyra’s mind. Or were
they? Maybe they already knew. Maybe— “Sorry, Lyra, I wasn’t listening.” “The slakes. They enjoy the touching, but I sense they would
enjoy it more after they’re fed.” “Getting nervous?” “Not about Bithe,” smiled Lyra. “n’Lete is less tolerant of
hunger and strangers. But, to raise young in the world you’ve described, I
guess intolerance would be useful.” “Necessary.” “Yes ... but she is grace and blue fire just the same.” N’Lete’s sinuous body rippled. “Keep talking,” laughed Tarhn. “You’ve just made a convert
to tolerance.” “Vanity?” “It’s more complicated than that,” said Tarhn, stroking n’Lete’s
head with his fingertip. “She knows she is the culmination of five thousand
years of Helix breeding. She’s just pleased by your discrimination.” Lyra ran her fingertips lightly down n’Lete’s back. The
slake’s head lowered fractionally in response. Then both slakes jumped to the
floor. They waited, wings folded, balancing on their rear legs and long tails. Tarhn opened a travel bag and brought out a handful of synthomeat
strips and two soft bottles of clear fluid. “How often do they eat?” said Lyra, her eyes never leaving
the slakes as their serrated teeth quickly rasped the meat into paste. “It varies,” said Tarhn, poking open the bottles. “The more
active they are, the more they eat. This will hold them for about two standard
days. Longer, if they don’t get some exercise. They need water every day,
though if they must they can go without longer than I can.” Quiet sipping sounds made a counterpoint to Tarhn’s words.
The sounds increased in volume as the liquid diminished. “What will they do now?” “Sleep, if we let them. Incurably lazy,” added Tarhn,
laughing softly. The slakes ignored him, except to request a lift to their
perches. Tarhn obliged, throwing them lightly upwards. “Have you eaten yet?” he said to Lyra. “Or is public eating
not a practice among your people?” “We eat when and where we are hungry. Usually twice a day. I’m
hungry now.” “Ship food? Or did you bring your own?” “Ship food.” Tarhn wondered whether she ate meat, or even realized what
meat was, but decided to wait and see. When he saw that Lyra was reluctant to
leave the slakes, he took her hand and led her to the door. “They’ll still be here after we eat,” he said. “Then you’ll let me see them again, talk ‘with them, and
touch them?” she asked eagerly. Suddenly Tarhn believed, really believed, that Lyra had
never known animals; her fascination was genuine, as was her delight. He
supposed he would feel the same if someone had introduced him to a pair of
walking, talking rocks. “You can move in with them if you’d like,” he said,
laughing. “I’d like.” Her childlike directness echoed in Tarhn’s mind as they
strolled to the nearest eating room. Maybe that was the explanation of the
enigma surrounding her: she was a child. Never mind her woman’s body, her
subtle sensual heat. She was unwary, direct, inexperienced. A child, untouched
and uncomplex. Now if he could just fit her finely honed mind into that comforting
picture .... Reluctantly, Tarhn filed the problem under “later.” He
needed more information. Much more. “What are you doing?” he asked. Lyra opened her eyes, but left her hand suspended over a
dish of food. “Selecting my meal,” she said. “How does passing your hand above the various dishes help?” Lyra looked at him as though he must be joking, then
realized he wasn’t. She pulled her hand away from the food hurriedly. “Is my way of choosing offensive?” “Not to me. Just unusual.” “You’re sure? What about the other people?” “I’m sure. How does it work?” Lyra’s hand resumed its station above the food belt. “It’s very simple,” she explained, moving her hand slowly
down the row of dishes. “My mind and body have certain energy structures,
patterns. Some foods would destroy the patterns, some would merely disrupt or
dull them. Others would give energy to the body, but would slight the mind. Or
the reverse. And still others would be suited to both mind and body. Ah, there,”
she said. “That’s animal flesh,” he said, curious to see her reaction. She wasn’t surprised. “I guessed it might be, after what you
told me; it’s rich with potential for my body. Without this,” she said,
indicating a dish of raw vegetables, “the flesh would drag on my mind.
Together, the foods balance each other. And with this,” a pink globe of fruit
was placed on her tray, “a willing gift from a living plant, my meal is
complete and complementary.” Tarhn’s hand reached for the same foods. “I assume they
would do as well for me?” “Don’t you know?” Then, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be
rude. How do you usually choose?” “Taste and experience.” Lyra closed her eyes and moved her hand from his temple to
his fingertips without touching his skin. Tarhn’s curiosity was nearly painful,
but he said nothing. “Your methods have been good,” she said finally, “Your patterns
are rich, complex, and pulsing with strength. Yet ... may I choose for you?” “If you explain your choices.” “Three of this fruit,” she said. “Willing food is rare out
here. And this ... is it flesh again?” Tarhn nodded. “A sea creature.” “It will fill your body. And ...” her hand hovered over the
ranks of vegetable dishes, finally selected raw and cooked roots. “To balance
the flesh. Now, something to relax you,” she murmured. Tarhn followed Lyra down the curving wall of food. Her hand
hesitated over the condiments for a moment, then picked out a paper of finely
ground seed pods. “How do I eat that?” he said, not recognizing the seasoning. Lyra spoke over her shoulder as she led him to an alcove. “Sprinkle it on the fruit.” “What does it taste like?” “To you, it will be elusive, sweet and sour, very good. You
need it,” she said sitting down. “To me, it would taste quite bitter. But don’t
eat any more of it for at least nine meals. It would begin to taste bitter, so
bitter that your body would reject it.” “All that from waving your hand over it?” Lyra looked perplexed, then smiled hesitantly. “Is my way of
gathering information so different from yours?” “Reading energy patterns isn’t a common way of learning.” Lyra paused, savoring the taste and texture of the fruit. “I
suppose not,” she said thoughtfully. “Reading patterns requires deep
integration of mind and body. Most Galactics are in a state of dynamic
disharmony with themselves. Yes ... disharmony.” Tarhn watched as Lyra seemed to recede inside herself, viewing
her insight into Galactics from all angles as a child views a bright new toy.
He tried eavesdropping, but was not surprised when he learned nothing. Whoever
trained her mind was a match for Carifil masters, Tarhn sprinkled the ground pods over a section of fruit and
took a cautious bite. An elusive refreshing taste rose from his tongue and
filled his mouth. The seafood she had selected was one of his favorite
foods—the succulent flesh of a Thininden crab. The roots were unfamiliar, crunchy,
and delicious. He ate slowly, enjoying the blend of familiar and unfamiliar
flavors and textures. When Lyra returned from her intense concentration, he
praised her choices; then said, “Could you teach me to choose as you do?” “Yes ...” “But? Is it secret learning? Tabu?” “Oh, not at all. It just requires joining minds while I
educate your reflexes.” Her eyes searched his face, then she made a gesture of
negation-and-regret. “I should have guessed there were tabus against two minds joining.
Every other source of pleasure out here has strange rules too.” : Tarhn remembered his blithe words about abiding
by her cultural norms and felt vaguely ashamed. “Your culture has no tabus
about the mind? Not even if the other mind might be unwilling?” “Unwilling?” said Lyra, subtle distaste coloring her voice. “When
I first came out, I found all kinds of minds reaching into mine. It was ...
horrifying. No discipline. No peace. No restraint. Chaos. I learned to shield myself.
I would not go through that again. Even willing minds aren’t always compatible;
sometimes the patterns can only lightly touch. Anything deeper would be uncomfortable,
even damaging. Joining two minds is not a casual thing. I would not have suggested
it were I not sure that our minds were deeply harmonious. We are always careful;
disharmony can he dangerous.” She hesitated, then added, “I’ve never
experienced a basically compatible mind that was nonetheless reluctant to share
with me. I think it would be destructive, like fighting against yourself. I
have no desire to find out whether I’m right.” “In other words,” said Tarhn evenly, “as long as I want
mental privacy, I’ll get it.” “But of course,” said Lyra. “And physical touching?” Lyra’s puzzlement was obvious, and disconcerting. “The same.
When we touch, our patterns also touch. There’s only as much pleasure as there
is harmony.” As Tarhn examined the ramifications of all that Lyra had
said, he suddenly felt disoriented, the way he had sometimes felt after a training
period with Jerlis. Everything he had learned about Lyra seethed inside his
mind, half-real, half-mist, inchoate. All he was sure of was that he needed
time to integrate new facts with old realities. As though she sensed his saturation, Lyra said nothing more.
When they finished eating, she led him to her room. Her whole manner wordlessly
conveyed that he was free to sit or sleep or think or talk or leave, whatever
he wished. Her unruffled acceptance of his need for quiet reminded him again of
Jerlis. Or perhaps Lyra understood him for the simple reason that
she, too, needed time to absorb her new experience; Tarhn shrugged off his peripheral thoughts and began a
series of mental exercises which both relaxed and sharpened his mind. When he
was ready, he reviewed what he knew about Lyra Mara. Then he extrapolated from
these facts. But the process was unusually difficult; no significant probability
could be assigned to even the most simple extrapolations. Not enough facts. His subjective impressions weren’t much help either. She was
too wise to be naive, too naive to be wise. If she was lying, he lacked the
skill to detect it. If she was telling the truth as she believed it, the people
and culture who spawned her were chillingly unique. Yet nothing is truly
unique. Only the lack of information makes it appear so. Tarhn released his concentration. Although he hadn’t brought
order to chaos, he felt no frustration. In fact he felt good, better than he
had felt for a long time. The image of pink fruit sprinkled with rich brown spice
surfaced in his mind. He smiled and stretched, savoring the unusual feeling of
humming relaxation. IIBut that had been yesterday, and now it was time to make the
course corrections for Wilderness, and he still had no more idea of who else
was hunting Lyra than he had had when he first stepped aboard the Adventure. As he completed the corrections, Tarhn sensed a change in
Lyra. Her pulse beat visibly in her throat and her breasts stirred with deeper
breaths. He touched her skin lightly; warm, pliant. She would be awake soon. The most delicate of probes touched his mind. Had he not
been trained to catch just such overtures, he would have missed it totally. Helpfully, Tarhn thought about their recent escape. This
must have satisfied Lyra, for she never went deeper than the first level of his
mind. And Tarhn was certain that lack of ability hadn’t circumscribed the
probe—anyone who could use and learn from such a fragile mindlink was a psi
worthy of respect. “Awake now, Lyra?” he said casually. Lyra’s eyes flickered open, then closed again. “You’re safe, for now,” he continued. “But you must have
made some high enemies in your lifetime.” Lyra’s eyes snapped open, showing enlarged golden starbursts
against the dominant amber color. Simultaneously Tarhn sensed a quantum leap in
her mental awareness. Then both gold and awareness diminished to their former
levels. “What do you mean?” she asked in high Galactic. “We’re beyond Courtesy,” said Tarhn bluntly. Lyra was silent, eyes again closed. “You can keep your secrets. And your enemies,” said Tarhn. “After
we land on Wilderness you can contact your people and have them pick you up.” “I’ve no people who will help me,” said Lyra slowly. “Nor do
I have personal enemies.” Tarhn’s metallic blue eyes flicked over Lyra. “You’re either stupid, innocent, or a liar. Your mind is too
well-trained for you to be stupid.” “And what about you?” Tarhn found himself confronted by her compelling eyes. “If I wanted to hurt you, I’m sure going at it ass first.
But whether you trust me or not, you’re stuck with me for a while.” “Obviously. Why?” Lyra no longer spoke in high Galactic. Instead, she used the
language of friends. Tarhn took it as a hopeful sign. “You could say I’m curious,” said Tarhn. “What else could I say?” “Who’s after you, and why?” “I don’t know.” Tarhn accepted that—for the moment. “Maybe this will help. Whoever it is owns at least part of
the Adventure’s crew. Probably the whole lot.” “I doubt it.” “Why?” said Tarhn sharply. “I own Adventures Excursions, among other things.” “What other things?” Silence. Her lips, eyes, and mind were closed tight. Tarhn
was on the point of risking a probe when she finally spoke. “We’re entering the atmosphere.” Tarhn’s attention snapped back to the control console. Lyra
couldn’t have seen the meters, yet— “You’re right. How did you know?” Lyra gave no indication she had heard, nor did Tarhn have
the time to press her. The approach was fast and the landing hot. In the hands
of an unskilled pilot, either would have been fatal. “Kerdin poor place to land,” muttered Tarhn as he freed the
slakes and launched them into flight. “What could be wrong with this place?” said Lyra dreamily.
Her body radiated relaxation as she spoke softly of great stone mountains
surging above the quiet alluvial valley, of the intricate symphony of animate
and inanimate life, of predators and grazers and plants murmuring over the
sustaining earth. It was not so much her words which held Tarhn spellbound, or
even the endless beauty of her voice. It was her mind. For an instant she had
been open, clear, a sentient window looking on a planet that was both intimate
and eternal, infinitely complex yet as simple as rock and flesh and fiber. And Lyra’s eyes two starbursts of gold. “What’s wrong with the place?” he repeated harshly,
surprised by his own roughness and by the current of fear running sudden and
cold and deep within him. “It’s the hunting continent.” “Hunting? Wilderness is a preserve.” “It’s taxed as one and is supposed to be one. But—” he gestured
impatiently. “Killer animals from fifty planets have been dumped on this continent.
For a fat price, the killers of a thousand planets hunt them.” Lyra’s face paled and lines of revulsion made her appear suddenly
old. Beyond what his eyes told him, Tarhn sensed her total rejection of the
concept of killing. His strange panic left as quickly as it had come. “Lyra,” tie said gently, “we’ll probably have to kill
animals to eat and perhaps men to survive.” Gold stars flared in Lyra’s eyes, small, brilliant. “If you have to kill or die, which will you do?” he demanded
roughly. Starbursts pulsed and the hair along Tarhn’s spine stirred
to an unheard melody. Then gold and melody vanished. “I will do what is necessary,” she said, her voice as flat
as its innate depths would ever let it be. For a moment Tarhn felt as though she were speaking to someone
else, but there was no one else to listen, “Good. I’d be a fool and a murderer to take you out of this
lifecraft if you were incapable of defending yourself.” “I don’t like destruction.” “Did anyone ask you to like it?” “No. They only asked that I endure.” Tarhn hesitated, then turned and began removing equipment
from the lifecraft’s many compartments. Most lifecraft were supplied with food,
clothing, water, medicine, and weapons. The weapons interested Tarhn right now,
but he couldn’t find a single one. Finally he discovered a small lasgun. buried
beneath a miscellaneous pile of junk in a rear cupboard. The gun was old,
scarred, and contained less than half a charge. “Hope it’s enough,” muttered Tarhn. After he and Lyra had carried the equipment away from the
lifecraft, Tarhn launched the slakes and motioned Lyra away. “Stay here.” Tarhn crouched behind the lifecraft’s open door and fired at
the control panel. Within seconds the panel flared and belched noxious smoke.
Tarhn held the firing stud down until the charge was exhausted and the panel
fused into an amorphous lump. “Why?” said Lyra when he returned. “Homing signal. When the lifecraft leaves the mother ship
the signal locks on and stays on as long as the lifecraft controls are intact.” “Then we’ve been followed.” “Maybe. A signal does no good unless someone listens for it.
But why bother? With the lifecraft’s range, Wilderness is the only place we
could be. All I did was ensure that no one will ride down the signal and pick
up our trail immediately. They’ll have to hunt for the lifecraft now. And
unless they have metal scanners handy, they’ll have a long, frustrating time of
it.” “But now we’re trapped here.” “We were trapped on the ship,” said Tarhn dryly. “I prefer being
trapped on a planet. More room to run. And the sooner we start running the
sooner we’ll find a permanent hunting camp.” “And then?” “We use their spacecom and pray that my friends find us before
your enemies do.” “There’s hunting on Wilderness; is there also an Access?” Tarhn didn’t show his surprise. He knew of at least one
Access on Wilderness, left over from the days when Wilderness had belonged to
the Carifil. But to find out where the Access was and whether it still operated
he would have to contact the Carifil. And as long as Lyra was close by— “You’re learning fast, Lyra. I’m sure there is an Access somewhere.
The hunters are rich, lazy, and impatient. But they’re not fools. They wouldn’t
risk getting caught near an illegal Access. I’d gladly risk it, but I don’t
know where the Access is.” Lyra did not answer. A relaxed tension had swept over her
body, leaving only her eyes untouched. Tarhn recognized the physical signs of
high mental effort, sensed the power which dilated time and starbursts until
both and all were caught in the growing moment, expanding ... Tarhn closed his eyes and fought the pervasive energy which
seemed to well from the very earth and focus in her half-gold eyes. He felt the
cold thread of panic return and multiply until a new pattern was woven, a fresh
curtain concealing. With a final twisting shudder of his mind he was free. By
the time Lyra spoke he had even regained a measure of control. “There are two Accesses on this continent,” she said softly. “Two? Are you sure? How do you know?” “Two.” Tarhn didn’t press; he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. “Can we use one of them?” “Yes. The farther one.” “Why that one?” The turn of Lyra’s mouth suggested disgust, yet the
prismatic beauty of her voice didn’t change. “The closer one is ... destructive. You may use it if you
wish.” “But you won’t,” said Tarhn with exasperation. “How long
will it take to get to your Access?” “I don’t know. It’s on the other side of that mountain
range.” Tarhn’s eyes followed her pointing finger to the awesome
thrusting stone wall which paralleled the valley. “Sweet gods. You’re sure you won’t use the closer one?” “I’m sure.” “Did you find out anything else?” “There are two or three hunting parties between us and the Access.” Tarhn knew that, at least, was certain; the slakes had
already spotted two groups. “Anything else?” “Animals. Many and vicious. But—” Tarhn waited, then prodded. “But?” “They won’t attack me,” she said reluctantly, “or you, if we
stay together.” Tarhn burned to probe her mind, to find out who and what she
was, but prudence/fear restrained him. “All right Lyra. We’d better get started. You’ve chosen a
long trail for us.” He handed Lyra her backpack of emergency equipment and set
off for the distant mountains. They had been walking for less than an hour when
Tarhn realized that the journey would be much shorter than he had thought. The
knowledge gave him little pleasure as he watched a small flyer settle nearby. “Friends of yours?” he asked dryly. “I have no friends out here.” “Not quite,” said Tarhn, probing the minds of the man and
woman who slowly climbed out of the craft. “You have two admirers stumbling
along under stukor, wanting only to carry you off and get to know you.” “Stukor? Is that a person?” “A mind control drug. Illegal, of course, but effective. One
unit and the person is yours, until the dose wears off.” At her blank expression
he felt impatience flare. “But you wouldn’t know about such things, coming from
a perfect culture.” His impatience vanished as he considered their options. “Well,” he said finally, “we can always run. Outcome
doubtful. Those two will follow us with the mindless obsession of a crosset on
a fresh scent. If they don’t catch us, more people will join the hunt; the new
hunters might not be programmed as nonviolently as these two. There’s almost no
possibility of making it to either Access before we’re caught. So let’s be
docile, play their moron’s game. They have orders not to harm you in any way.
They expected only you; they’ll see only you.” At her look of bafflement, Tarhn explained hurriedly. “Stukor. No flexibility. If reality deviates from their
orders, they ignore reality.” All Tarhn could do was to alert the slakes to follow him. Controlling
stukor victims was impossible, even for his mind. Their master, however, might
be more amenable. Unnoticed, Tarhn slipped into the flyer, found space to sit
next to Lyra’s pack in the small cargo area. He shrugged off his own pack and
settled down to the business of picking what he could out of the captors’
minds. By the time the flyer settled near an obviously new hunting
camp, Tarhn knew little more than he had before he entered the flyer. The man
and woman had been prepared to accept Lyra unconscious or conscious, in the
lifecraft or away from it. If she resisted them, they were to drug her. She was
not to be harmed. As the flyer’s canopy split open, Tarhn counted fifteen
guards around the flyer. Too many to control; too many to fight. Perhaps he
should have waited and followed Lyra. Perhaps. But there was no assurance that
her captor would keep her on Wilderness. Once through an Access, she was lost
without a trace. And she must be kept under the eyes of the Carifil. Tarhn imprinted the layout and geography of the camp on his
mind in the scant seconds he had of remaining life. Simultaneously, he took a
certain grim pleasure in knowing that the death cry of his mind would set off a
Carifil search which his killers would not survive, Lyra would survive, though.
She must. *No matter what happens Lyra, be calm. You are safe. You
will stay safe.* Before he could find out whether her confusion came from unexpected
mindtouch or the message he gave her, a guard spotted him, stared. Then shock
and undiluted terror radiated from the guard’s mind. Her hands flew to cover
her pale gray eyes. She bowed deeply over her trembling fingers. “Mercy, highborn. If this crawling creature had known, it
would not have disgusted you with its slizzard eyes.” Even while part of his mind raced at the implications of
being addressed in the language of Tau, the tongue of his childhood, Tarhn
responded easily. “Helix eyes see all without disgust. It will continue
precisely as instructed.” The woman withdrew, nearly falling in her haste. Orders in
low-voiced pig Galactic flew to the other guards. When Tarhn stepped out of the
flyer the guards ignored him, while at the same time taking extreme care not to
block his path. Tarhn followed the procession at a leisurely pace, unasked
questions crowding his mind. The camp was small; the translucent central dome looked subtly
skewed, as though it was not yet at ease on its new foundations. In the center
of the dome was an empty Access platform. Tarhn stood aside while discreet
guards brought pillows for his and Lyra’s comfort. When they both sat down, a
guard stepped forward and rubbed a small damp pad across Lyra’s forearm. In an
instant she was unconscious. Tarhn controlled his immediate impulse of outrage; his own
position was too precarious .. Until he knew whether Lyra’s captor considered
her Helix or slizzard, he could only ignore hen With an effort, Tarhn concentrated on the platform. He knew
that portable Accesses were mathematically feasible—the equation being no
different from that describing a permanent Access—but he hadn’t known it was
technically possible. The area above the platform became a deep lambent blue, Tau
blue, Helix blue. When the light faded, the man on the platform appeared as a
towering shadow figure, thick and strong, cloaked in gold and distance. His
eyes had a forceful blue life of their own, and on his shoulders rode two
battle slakes. It was the slakes, even more than the man’s eyes and the
rich cape, that told Tarhn exactly who had captured Lyra. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler,” said Tarhn clearly, “Acting Helix
of Tau.” Kretan betrayed no surprise at the ritual greeting. Rather
his face fleetingly showed the pleasure of a man who has lofted his slakes
after one prey and seen them return with two. “Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler, gene-son of my full sister’s
half-daughter, Conditional Helix of Tau.” The ritual greeting and bland smile made Tarhn
uncomfortable. His discomfort increased when he realized that Kretan was
totally impervious to mindtouch. There was none of the elusive, impenetrable
feel of a shielded mind, nor the tangible solidness of a mind chained by drugs.
Kretan was simply and irrevocably ... null. Psi blank. Unreachable. Like trying mindtouch with a mountain. “A maturity ago in Clereth’s womb, your genes showed great
promise, greater even than mine. Physically, at least, the promise has been fulfilled.” Tarhn heard Kretan’s smooth voice as though at a great distance,
for his whole being was bent on reaching into Kretan’s mind. “Why didn’t you return to Tau to be proclaimed First Helix?”
continued Kretan in his passionless tones. “Is it that you are as mad as your
gene-mother and my full sister were, and therefore unfit to be First Helix of
Tau?” Tarhn abandoned the idea of controlling Kretan and rallied
his mind for the more useful task of winning, or at least surviving, the ritual
battle of words. “Had I returned, your servants would have killed me,” said
Tarhn, matching his tone to the older man’s. Kretan’s index fingers locked and unlocked in a gesture of
agreement Tarhn hadn’t seen since he was a child. “The necessity of your absence or death is past,” said
Kretan. Tarhn knew better than to comment, though the stretching silence
had the effect of pressuring him to speak, to explain why he was in Kretan’s
camp with the alien Kretan had planned so carefully to abduct. But on Tau,
unasked explanations were the sputterings of a weak mind. Tarhn resisted the silent pressure. Kretan’s fingers locked again, remained locked. Deep in
Tarhn’s mind, that part of him which had expected and accepted death relaxed.
Kretan had accepted him as an equal—for now. Carefully, Tarhn refrained from looking at Lyra, blissfully
unconscious on scattered pillows. Until Kretan indicated what her status was,
Tarhn could only ignore her. Kretan stepped off the platform, then lofted his slakes
toward two translucent ceiling perches Tarhn hadn’t noticed. At Kretan’s swift
movement, there was a ripple of Helix blue from the lining of his lavish cape.
The names of all Kretan’s Helix ancestors flashed in delicate gold wire. The supreme
genotype which Tau could claim was written in the cold blue flare of Helix
stones. It was Tarhn’s own name that struck blue lightning. “The mating cape,” observed Tarhn. “I thought never to see
it beyond the winds of Tau.” “A maturity is a long time,” said Kretan. “The first
maturity is longest of all. We shall talk, Tarhn a Haman n’Ahler. Then I will
know who wears the Helix cape.” “My sanity awaits your instruction.” The ritual response appeared to please Kretan, but without
mindtouch Tarhn couldn’t be sure. Kretan’s expression changed in a manner more
suited to microscopic measurements than to the unaided eye. “I hear your words; their sanity accords with mine.” Apparently that was a signal, for the guards withdrew. Not
that Kretan required guards—his battle slakes could dispatch even armed men
with silent ease. Tarhn thought longingly of his own slakes, but knew it would
be hours before they retraced the path of the swift flyer. At least Kretan’s
psi-blankness had one good aspect; he would never suspect the clear mental call
which would guide n’Lete and Bithe to the camp. Whether Tarhn slept or spoke,
the call would go out, ending only with death. A servant appeared with cups of sweet spring water and
dishes of chilled fruits. After Tarhn had sampled both, Kretan began to talk.
Though he was speaking with a putative peer, Kretan’s accents and sentences retained
the stilted flavor of Tau’s command dialect. Tarhn decided that Kretan
had spoken in the command mode of Tau for so long that he was unable to fully adjust
to speech between equals. “Were you taught of Tau’s history before the Plague?” “I learned what every Conditional Helix must learn,” said
Tarhn, allowing his voice to become that of a person reciting a prayer; “Before
there was Concord there was Tau. Of all planets known, only Tau bore a race
with the wisdom and genius to perfect their future through the genes of their
children. It is the honor and burden of the Helix strain to guide Tau in its
ceaseless quest for the Supreme Helix. All dreams, all desires, all lives are
secondary to the goal of genetic perfection.” “Clereth trained you well, in spite of her madness.” Tarhn said nothing; the memories he had of his gene-mother
were few and unpleasant. “My sister was also mad,” said Kretan. “Your sister was a First Helix.” Kretan’s fingers moved in agreement. “When the Gene-Masters
told her of the bankruptcy of Tau’s gene pool, she was sane enough to know that
chance or induced mutations would not suffice. She displayed her Helix genes
when she accepted the necessity of off-world breeding, an idea both
revolutionary and inevitable. She betrayed her genes when she chose war rather
than Access as the means of hybridization.” “The Access was not yet built,” observed Tarhn. “No,, no more than a child is ‘built’ at fertilization. In
both instances the potential is a measurable reality.” Tarhn’s fingers locked in silent agreement. “Flerhan’s wars drained Tau,” continued Kretan. “Worse, they
were futile. As my first Access partner pointed out, the wages of war are
penury. Yes, Li’mara made me pay for the use of his money.” It took much of Tarhn’s training to sit quietly through
Kretan’s history of the rise of Access Unlimited. Nothing in the older man’s
tone suggested the sheer weight of Galactic misery caused by Kretan’s
inexorable pursuit of power and the Supreme Helix, the billion families broken
and scattered through the galaxy as planet after planet sold a portion of their
population into virtual slavery to raise the price of an Access installation. “As with all the other great empires in history,” said
Kretan, “mine began with and grew upon a foundation of vision, power, and
opportunity. The vision was Tau’s, the power and opportunity were the Access. “The Access is my net. With it I seine Galactic gene pools,
choosing and combining genes. Ultimately I will breed a race which will
consummate the possibilities of Galactic genotypes.” Tarhn listened and tried not to think of the people who had
lived and died in misery that Kretan might pursue his goal. The “five year” conscripts
from each planet became six and eight and ten and then a lifetime of penury and
sweat under harsh alien suns. Not many planets complained when their conscripts failed to
return after their allotted time—poverty and prisons had supplied most of the
conscript labor. If a planet had a belated resurgence of conscience, AU made
searches for individual conscripts, but such searches among billions of people
took time. Years. If the planet persisted, some conscripts would eventually be
found; the remainder were listed as dead on a thousand unknown worlds. As for the conscripts themselves, they rarely revolted.
Kretan organized his operations with the exquisite precision of a psychosurgeon.
He never took from his expanding corps of interplanetary conscripts so much
that they had nothing further to lose by rebelling. Kretan knew that when a
person’s life has been peeled down to a few fragile, translucent layers, those
layers gain inordinate value. Conscripts learned obedience ... or death. “My most enduring problem has been trying to make Galactics
understand the vital nature of my goal. Few had the intelligence to sacrifice
willingly for their children’s future. It is unfortunate that with all our Galactic
machines, we have yet to replace the womb. Even my best engineers failed.
Children born, yes, but they never reached their genetic potential. Insanity
was the norm. I was forced to continue working with individual Galactic wombs.” Tarhn shifted position fractionally, but Kretan didn’t
notice. “In spite of difficulties, Access Unlimited expanded geometrically
in the first years. When my first partner died, control of AU passed to me. The
first conscript planets were opened, ensuring a supply of workers and wombs. “To my deep disappointment, as Li’mara’s heir grew it became
obvious that he was mentally incapable of pursuing the Tau goal.” Tarhn’s mind leaped within his still body. Daveen had been a
Carifil, but even that had not saved him from Kretan’s assassins. Tarhn vividly
remembered the psychic cry, the search, the living death on a Proscribed planet
.... “Did you not live with Li’mara’s half-son, Daveen?” “I knew him.” “Genes, but no sanity. His foster mother diminished his potential
to the point that his mind could not understand the vision of the Helix. “I had heard that his foster mother was also yours,” added
Kretan in tones that were as assured and dangerous as a stalking svarl. Tarhn’s savage thoughts of the many times Kretan’s assassins
had tried to kill Daveen, Jerlis, and himself did not show as he answered
neutrally, “Jerlis protected my youth.” “Yet you are not warped like Daveen ... ?” “I am here,” said Tarhn, then wondered if that was much recommendation
for his sanity. “You are here,” agreed Kretan, “The egg is ripe, the sperm
is active. Now we must see if together they can create the Supreme Helix.” At last Tarhn could glance toward Lyra. His mind knew that
she was awake and listening, though her posture had not changed. At his silent
request, she gave subtle signs of being awake. “I had hoped to examine her for flaws before she was conscious.” Her, not it. The dignity of a personal pronoun. Certainty
crystallized in Tarhn that Kretan had selected Lyra to be the gene-mother of a
new race; Tau’s long growth would come to fruition in her womb. And while Tarhn
had many reservations as to Kretan’s sanity, he in no way underestimated his
uncle’s genius. Tarhn looked at Lyra with new eyes. “Then we are but one child away from completion?” said
Tarhn. “If not her half-children, then her quarter-children.” “I assume enforced rest was necessary before you told her of
her honor?” asked Tarhn smoothly. Kretan showed his first sign of discomfort. With elaborate casualness
he selected and ate a ruby fruit. “On Tau, such means would be unnecessary,” said Kretan. “Unfortunately,
I have learned that not all women, or men, appreciate the necessity of raising
the generic level of their children. I have accommodated my means to their
irrationality.” Which was as pleasant a way to sum up his uncle’s
rape-and-slavery methods as any Tarhn could imagine. He tried to think of an
equally delicate way to tell Kretan that he was fit only to suck zarfs, but
polite words failed. Tarhn kept silent, thereby increasing his advantage over
the older man. Kretan turned away and addressed Lyra in Galactic. “You are awake. Have you learned from our conversation?” Lyra sat up and faced Kretan with no sign of malaise. She
spoke before Tarhn could coach her. “I have learned nothing that is new. I am a unique child of
my people, as Tarhn is of his. Together we can be unity. In our unity waits the
future of all children.” Tarhn’s respect for Lyra increased geometrically. With a few
words she had the old bastard humming like a sated slake. No forced pregnancy
for her. And her tone of utter simplicity, her prismatic voice joining all
words into a blinding white truth. *Beautifully done, Lyra. * *It is the character of truth to be beautiful.* Her reply set up strange resonances in his mind, but he was
too concerned with measuring Kretan’s total reaction to worry about his own. If
Kretan was obsessed with becoming gene-father to an imagined future race, Tarhn’s
future could be measured in seconds. If Kretan would settle for the role of
foster parent, however— “She is as discerning as a Gene-Master,” said Kretan after a
long silence. “With my own genes a Supreme Helix is possible; with your genes
it is a certainty. When I am fully satisfied with your mental stability, the
mating will occur.” Kretan rose and mounted the platform. The slakes plummeted
to his shoulders as the blue light rose. Tarhn watched Kretan disappear in a blaze of Helix blue and
thought about the many ways there were to shorten a man’s life. Painfully. *Please ...* Lyra’s mindtouch conveyed agony. His violent thoughts vanished
in concern for her. *Are you hurt? Is it the drugs? * *No.* Her relief sighed through his mind. *Your thoughts ...
but they are no longer.* Yet the memory of pain still lingered in her eyes. He
gathered Lyra to him, comforting, and her warmth was a subtle song against his
body. For an instant he wondered who was comforting whom, then dismissed the
thought for more urgent ones. * Kretan is deaf to mindspeech, more than a little insane,
but far from stupid. We must appear to communicate normally, but if we talk we
must tell him nothing he doesn’t already know. I’m sure he has listeners
posted. * It was easier not to talk than to monitor each word. They
lay down beneath the now dark dome. His last thought before sleep was of the magnificent
texture of her red-gold hair curled against his cheek. IIIWhen Tarhn awoke, he could see only one of Wilderness’ three
moons overhead; early night. His mind automatically reached out for what had
wakened him, assessing possible dangers. Lyra asleep was a gloaming rainbow of
light; the others in camp were only flickers of awareness. Kretan-hadn’t returned;
his mind would be unmistakable, a dark star, immense power turned in upon
itself. Further out two minds slept, familiar in their narrow intensity, his own
slakes. He praised them without disturbing their rest, then resumed searching
for whatever had awakened him. Where? That soft whisper, a desert wind sweet with promise
of rain. So far away, so ... familiar ... Tarhn’s apprehension vanished in a
gust of silent laughter; he reached out with all the power of his mind,
completed the link. *If I could touch you I’d pull your ears,* came Jerlis’
clear thought, bright with apprehension and affection. *You have one of the
most difficult shields to evade that I’ve ever had the discomfort to work with.* Even as Tarhn savored the mixture of emotions in her mindspeech,
he couldn’t help wondering why Jerlis had contacted him. And not just Jerlis ...
behind her thoughts was the silent strength of linked Carifil minds, his
friends. *I’d be flattered, little mother, but I’ve a feeling that
you’re more interested in the amber woman who sleeps beside me.* *She is safe?* *From physical harm.* *You?* *Safe ... for now.* *Tell us.* At Jerlis” words, Tarhn’s memories of the time since he had
first seen Lyra unreeled with stunning quickness. There was a moment as waiting
minds digested, categorized, extrapolated, then— *Conclusions.* Tarhn’s response was a good deal less coherent this time.
Jerlis was not asking for something as simple as the physical movements of Lyra
and himself. Jerlis wanted all that he had felt and thought condensed into a
few succinct probabilities by which she could measure his and Lyra’s
actions/thoughts in the immediate future. He tried *Xerle’s Ears, Tarhn,* came the half-laughing, half-irate
reply. *I’ve had cleaner reports from backward children.* *It would help if I knew where she came from, why we guard
her, why—* *She hasn’t mentioned her home planet? You have not guessed
it?* *No and no.* Jerlis’ satisfaction oozed across the mindlink. *I’m glad
her ears are straight.* *Why—* *Sorry, Carifil. No one, not even you, must know what she is
until you bring her to us.* The total conviction of Jerlis’ thought, with its aura of
great possibilities and even greater dangers, silenced Tarhn. He was still
curious, of course, but he trusted Jerlis. He could wait. *If it weren’t for my slizzard uncle, you would have had her
within a Centrex week. What would have been more natural than that I bring a
new friend to meet with old ones?* *She would have come willingly?* Before Tarhn could reply, Jasilyn slipped from her role of
supporting link to active link. *Have you looked at Tarhn lately, Jerlis?* *Not as thoroughly as you, I’m sure.* Laughter surrounded Jerlis’
thought. *Your point is accepted.* *Has she accepted your point, Tarhn?* At his laughing negative, Jasilyn’s thought became tinged
with exasperation. *By the Tortured God, no wonder your conclusions were
contradictions! Limited mind contact and less body knowledge. You lazy nuft. Or
is she from one of those peevish cultures?* *I don’t think so ...* *As useful, and pleasant, as body knowledge might be,* cut
in Jerlis, *Tarhn is in no position to go exploring.* *Any position ...* Jasilyn’s thought became laughter and
memories. Tarhn couldn’t help remembering, and responding. *Shut her up, Jerlis.* Jerlis, amused but determined, maneuvered Jasilyn back into
a supporting—silent—link. *Our conclusions,* resumed Jerlis crisply, *are
simple. Don’t attempt to force Lyra’s shields; it could be fatal to one or both
of you. We have set the Carifil Access, the one Lyra chose, for two plus
slakes. If you haven’t reached the Access within three Wilderness days, we will
come and get you.* She must have sensed Tarhn’s curiosity—why wait, Kretan
might have other plans—for she explained. *We want to be silent as a listening ear this time, Tarhn.
Nothing to connect her or you to either the Carifil or Concord. The less noise,
the least suspected. In this, at least, Kretan seems to agree with us. Also ...
don’t pass up a chance to kill the old zarfsucker. But don’t jeopardize Lyra’s
safety, or your own.* *Killing slizzards is always a pleasure. Unfortunately, I
don’t know where in the galaxy this one is.* *We’ve had the same problem for many years. Be lucky, Tarhn.* The link dissolved into echoing silence. Tarhn checked the
sleeping guards quickly, then more carefully. Stukor again. He should have guessed by the pale guttering
of their awareness. Kretan took no chances. Probably the guards were programmed
to make kerden sure no one left the dome. As for the dome Access—sudden death
for anyone but Kretan. Fortunately, Kretan hadn’t known about n’Lete and Bithe,
thus he couldn’t take measures against them. *Awake, friends. You go hunting.* The electric eagerness of the slakes brought a smile to
Tarhn’s lips. He sent a detailed description of the dome, and as much about the
surrounding camp as he had seen. *To all but Lyra give the bite-without-death. Swift, deep, silent.
They must sleep through darkness and light and darkness again. Fly in, my
friends; there are traps for walkers.* Tarhn waited, breathing lightly, listening though the dome
deadened all outside noise. When he saw neither awakened guards nor sudden
lights, he relaxed slightly. As he hoped, the guards were probably programmed
only to respond to dome or perimeter alarms. To Tarhn’s surprise, the dome door was not connected to any
alarm; apparently he and Lyra were to have the freedom of the compound. If
Tarhn tried to escape, it would prove his insanity. Cunning old zarf. When the slakes appeared beside the open dome door, Tarhn
praised them, stroking their sinuous blue bodies until they rippled with
pleasure. *Bithe, guard her, Lyra, until I return.* With a swift glance around the dome, Tarhn moved noiselessly
toward the largest structure in the camp. The windows were retracted to allow
air circulation—and slakes. Tarhn pulled the triple-pronged tool from his belt
and tinkered with the door mechanism. The door opened silently. N’Lete brushed against his legs as she surged down the rows
of hammocks, checking each guard’s body for the bittersweet scent of slake
venom. Satisfied, she folded her wings along her body. Tarhn didn’t even glance at the guards as he moved quickly between
the hammocks. Behind the first partition he found only kitchen machines. The
second partition had only sonic showers and chemical toilets. Behind the third
partition was what Tarhn sought. Security machines. He scanned the bank of equipment and his breath came out in
a loud rush. Labels! Each machine had a panel explaining its function and
maintenance requirements. “Kretan will wish he’d never used untrained conscripts,” muttered
Tarhn as he read each panel. “Ahhhh.” With a few deft flicks of his fingers, Tarhn could turn off
all camp power to the Access, including the backup system. If there were no
alarms. A big if. The Access could still be med from the other end, though, for
the power source was far off-planet. But no electrical alarms or messages could
pass from camp through the Access to Kretan. Tarhn touched nothing, turned his attention to the last
machine; its function was to monitor the camp flyers. As he read the panel, Tau
obscenities muttered into the night; the camp flyers would lift only if the information
channel to the Access was open. But if the channel were open Kretan could
easily track each flyer. He could probably even take over control of the flyer
with some sort of override signal. Yes ... Kretan would have something like
that. Give the people you are uncertain about just enough freedom to prove themselves
guilty. Kretan wouldn’t trust water to be wet. Tarhn’s mind raced over the escape possibilities. Take a
flyer, hoping that they would reach the second Access before Kretan could
override. Very low probability ... an unauthorized flight was probably what
Kretan was waiting for. In fact, as long as the Access was intact, they were
neatly trapped. And destroying the Access would warn Kretan that something was
wrong. Of the two, he preferred a defunct Access. *Sorry, Jerlis, but I’ll have to make a few small noises.
Lyra and I need at least two days to reach our own Access on foot.* Tarhn signaled n’Lete and ran noiselessly back to the dome.
Bithe’s blue eyes flashed coldly in the moonlight before the slake returned his
attention to the sleeping Lyra. With a quick twist, Tarhn removed his ornate metallic belt.
The pronged tool disappeared back into the belt’s design. Tarhn held the belt
thoughtfully for a moment, then began stripping selected components off the
belt. He had to disable the Access with one fast stroke. No time for finesse,
for disguising the sabotage as a mechanical malfunction. It had to be final and
irreparable from Kretan’s end of the Access. Unfortunately, the compressive Tarhn would be using was
known as one of Carifil invention. Kretan would know immediately who his
enemies were. Tarhn’s belt became a long wire studded with pale green
nodes. A sophisticated assortment of tiny tools glittered on the floor at his
feet. When the wire was long enough to wrap once around the Access platform,
Tarhn shaped the remaining wire and tools into a wide, ornate arm band. As he
slid the band up underneath his tunic, he spoke softly to Lyra. She murmured,
sat up. Her hair rippled and shone like fluid amber, her eyes were sudden gold.
He thought he heard an eerie questioning beat of music, but knew she had spoken
with neither tongue nor mind. He moved uneasily, listened, heard nothing. He
would have dismissed the incident as imagination under stress but for the
slakes; their heads were tipped up to Lyra in an air of expectation and response.
He opened his mind to theirs, but found neither concern nor unease, only
relaxed pleasure. He stifled a surge of irritation/anger/fear before it reached
the slakes. It was bad enough that he had irrational flashes; he certainly had
no need to upset the slakes with them. “We’re leaving,” he said as he wrapped the wire in a single
loop around the Access platform. His voice sounded harsh to his own ears, so he
tried to be more civil. “It would be safer if you wait outside the dome with
the slakes.” Her questioning look did nothing to settle his nerves. “You do realize that you were Kretan’s prisoner, don’t you?
I don’t know what your customs are, but out here prisoners escape as soon as
they can.” At her look of confusion, Tarhn snapped, “Of course, if you want me
to die, we can just stand on our thumbs and wait for Kretan.” “It is not your deathtime.” The clear voice, the white truth, rasped Tarhn’s mind. Her
eyes were pure amber now, deep and mysterious. “I’ve offended you,” she said quietly. “How?” “I don’t know. It’s not important, and probably not your
fault.” One-third truth, two-thirds lie. Both knew it, but neither
mentioned it. Tarhn waited until she and the slakes were outside before he
set off the compressive. A thin, high sound and the Access was neatly sheared
in half. Tarhn shoved the upper half awry, gave a grunt of satisfaction. It
would be a while before Kretan could get a new Access into place. Lyra said nothing as she followed him through the compound,
watched him further disable the flyers. He searched several buildings before he
found their packs. “Which way is your Access?” he said as he handed her a pack. “To the left of the moon, high on the shoulder of the jagged
peak.” Tarhn measured the distance and wondered if even three days
would be enough. Alone, yes. But Lyra was an unknown quantity. At a silent signal, n’Lete scrambled into Tarhn’s arms. He
held her, concentrating on the mountain, the need for speed and secrecy. Then
he launched the slake upwards with a powerful stroke of his left arm. At the
top of her arc, n’Lete’s wings snapped open, beat with a slow strong rhythm,
scattered blue sparks in the silver moonlight. When Tarhn looked away from n’Lete’s flight, Lyra had her
pack on and was walking quickly toward the first rank of foothills. Tarhn made
no move to take the lead, she had chosen the exact path he would have. By the
time they crossed the first hills, n’Lete should have returned with advice as
to the best route up the mountain. *Up, Bithe.* Tarhn distributed the slake’s coils around the pack and his
shoulders. Bithe hissed and sucked gently against Tarhn’s neck. *Afraid I’d make you walk, weren’t you? Well, my friend, it’s
not a free ride. You’re on guard duty.* Bithe quit teasing and rested his narrow head on top of
Tarhn’s. The slake’s nostrils expanded hugely as he sifted the cool night air
for scents of danger. Tarhn’s long strides covered the ground quickly, yet Lyra
stayed ahead, moving with a lithe grace that looked too beautiful to be so
quick. As he watched her, he realized that her night sight must be almost as
good as his—moonlight alone could not account for the ease with which she
evaded obstacles. After a time the second, then the third of Wilderness’ moons
culminated their slow-motion chase across the dark sky. The last moon had
barely disappeared before the first translucent promise of dawn grew in the
northwest. As the promise deepened, the hills began to thrust more urgently at
the sides of the mountain. Brittle grass gave way to rock and scrub bushes. The
steep land ahead was seamed with granite and dryness and dead stream courses. Tarhn lengthened his stride until he was beside Lyra. Though
they had rested only once, briefly, through the long night, Lyra’s walk was
still as swift and strong as his own. He touched her arm and pointed to a
jumble of rocks. “We’ll eat there. N’Lete should be back soon.” As Lyra moved
toward the rocks, Tarhn wondered why he hadn’t used mindspeech. He was reluctant,
but why? And something else ..... Bithe had not caught scent of a single
predator all night. Not one. Yet Tarhn knew this was the hunting continent,
justly famous for its imported panoply of vicious animals .. Then he remembered
Lyra’s statement that no predators would harm her. Tarhn moved suddenly, jumping at a shadow. Bithe grumbled a
complaint and leaped to the ground. Tarhn sat on a flat rock and ate mechanically, drank
lightly, barely looked at Lyra, N’Lete’s arrival was a relief from the dark
silence. He concentrated on the slake, drawing information from her slowly and
thoroughly. He stroked her folded wings as he chose the best trail. “See that high ridge,” he said finally. “The one just
turning red in the light.” Lyra followed his finger. “Yes.” “Beyond it is a small, shallow bench valley watered by a
spring. We’ll sleep there. Ready?” In, answer, Lyra stood and adjusted her pack. Tarhn waited
for a word of protest, the valley was clearly a full day’s hike, but Lyra simply
studied the terrain in the strengthening light. After a moment, she began climbing
with her easy, springy stride. *Feed, Bithe, but don’t lose us.* Tarhn launched Bithe, watched the slake claw his way upwards,
seeking the thermals that rose with the sun. He arranged n’Lete around his shoulders
and pack, then caught up with Lyra. After a short time, he went ahead of her,
his stride more lope than walk. He held to the pace even after the beautiful,
brutal sun climbed high and hot over the brittle land. Tarhn knew the pace was punishing; he rationalized it as necessary.
He neither slowed nor spoke during the hours it took them to traverse the
rumpled foothills. At last he paused on a high, rocky outcrop and looked over
their backtrail. Not so much as a bird moved over the land. Lyra wiped the sweat from her eyes and flexed her shoulders
against the pack. Her breasts rose and fell rapidly, underlining her fatigue.
Tarhn waited for her to complain about the pace he had set. When she didn’t, he
felt suddenly ashamed. She had done nothing to earn his anger. He was behaving
like a half-gened bastard while she showed the qualities of a Helix. He stepped behind her and eased the weight of her pack onto
his arms. “Need to rest?” he said. “Thank you,” said Lyra, sighing and flexing her back gratefully.
“Is it safe?” Tarhn hesitated as he watched silver drops of moisture slide
down her neck. “If you can,” he said finally, “we should get more land
between us and the camp.” “Then I can,” said Lyra simply. She took the full weight of the pack again and began the
long climb which would take them to the first jutting spur of time mountain. He
followed her silently around huge boulders and brittle plants cooking under the
merciless orange sun. Sweat soaked through Lyra’s loose tunic until it clung
along each sinuous line of back and legs. When they had breasted the first low mountain ridge, Tarhn
stopped. Lyra’s clear amber eyes looked at him hopefully. “Yes,” he said, lifting her pack off. “It’s finally rest
time.” Lyra sighed and pulled the irritating tunic away from her
skin. “Does your culture have any nudity tabus?” she asked suddenly. “It might,” laughed Tarhn, “but I don’t.” “Praise the billion stars,” breathed Lyra and stripped off
her clothes. “Ahhh,” she said, opening her arms to a cooling breeze, “everything
is worth this moment.” Tarhn agreed. For the first time Lyra laughed unrestrainedly, a haunting
twin-toned song which moved him as deeply as her sun-browned body. Her eyes
lifted to his, neither bold nor shy, and for an instant he saw himself as she
did: a mysterious, powerful man focused in glacial blue eyes; a mind of pouring
power and cutting edges, yet richly compatible; a fine body whose ability to
give and receive pleasure she would gladly discover. And her voice redolent of regret saying, “But the climb to
the Access is long.” “We won’t always be climbing.” Tarhn felt Lyra’s hands light as flame on his shoulders,
then she moved back and bent to retrieve her tunic. “Either we leave quickly,” she smiled, “or not at all.” Tarhn’s fingertips traced the line of her chin, then curled
against the warmth of her lips. “You’re right,” he said softly. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and thought of all
the excellent reasons why they should resume their forced march. There were
many, but the one which decided him was not among them. Lyra would have far
more pleasure if her body were not numb with fatigue. Yet at least he could touch her mind without diminishing her
strength. If she would allow it. He found her mind open, the depth and points of their
linkage limited only by those areas of his own mind which must remain
unrevealed, and others he had long ago hidden from himself. Yet even within
those restrictions he felt awareness expanding geometrically as each additional
linkage crystallized, multifaceted, level after level of mind opening,
complementing, spiraling toward unity of power, awesome song— Tarhn felt himself leaning against a boulder’s searing heat,
terribly alone, sick with the certainty that it was he who had ended a song he
could not recall, only mourn, and Lyra a healing amber mist, warm, praising the
beauty they had known, the glory they might yet know. Tarhn opened his eyes and saw Lyra pale and trembling with
the effort of reaching him. Or was it only that? And he realized then that for
her the missed linkages had been baffling agony, completion offered and then cruelly
withdrawn. Yet it was she who comforted him. Tarhn drew her into his arms and murmured against her hair.
She leaned against his strength and gentle touch until the trembling stopped. *Why do you hide yourself, from me?* she thought sadly. Lyra’s thought contained no shade of bitterness at what he
had withheld, only sorrow that there had been agony where there should have
been joy. *I don’t know why ... I’m sorry, so sorry. You fit more perfectly
into my mind than I had ever dreamed possible,* thought Tarhn, wonder and sorrow
mingled. *We must have known each other in many past lives to know each other
so deeply now.* “So many, yet not enough,” she said, twin-toned, chilling, “Still
your barriers exist, shriveling creation. On my home planet such barriers don’t
exist, but they reach out from the galaxy to destroy us, suffocating. I was
bred to judge Singer creation, but I cannot judge alone, ignorant. You will
teach me the nature of those barriers, Tarhn my complement, my other self. When
I have learned we will be one ... or nothing.” Questions writhed in Tarhn’s throat, choked on fear of the
freezing gold in her eyes. “It’s late,” he said, the words thick. “We have a long climb
ahead.” “Very long,” agreed Lyra and she picked up her pack once
again. They climbed slowly, ceaselessly into the baking afternoon,
scrambling across talus slopes and through slashing thorn thickets. Sweat stung
open cuts, diluting blood and dust into myriad patterns over their bodies and
still they climbed and further until Tarhn could only wonder at Lyra’s
endurance, knowing his own fatigue. At last they scrambled up a long rockfall and stumbled onto
the tiny bench valley carved out of the bony ridge of mountain. The dying light
burned translucent in the whispering, dark trees. At the center of the grove a
spring bubbled promises of water and peace. As one, Lyra and Tarhn sank to their knees at the edge of the
spring. Crystal coolness drowned the pain from welts and bruises, eased the
tightness born of dust and blood and searing sun. The sound of foliage rustling above made Lyra raise her head
suddenly. “It’s just the slakes,” Tarhn said. Lyra relaxed again. “Can they guard us against predators?” “They are tougher than anything on Wilderness—man or beast.
But they’ve seen no animals approach us all day.” They will,” said Lyra. “I’m too tired to warn off any more.” Tarhn had forgotten Lyra’s earlier words. He berated himself
for allowing her to use energy needlessly. “The slakes will guard us,” he said. “Save your strength for
those things the slakes can’t do.” “Like eat for me?” said Lyra with a weary half-smile. “Like eat for you.” He handed her several tubes of high energy rations. She ate
them slowly, half-asleep before the last one was finished. “Not yet,” said Tarhn. He deftly peeled off her tough, supple footgear, part of the
lifecraft’s emergency stores. As he had feared, her feet were raw with broken
blisters. His fingers moved gently; when they passed, the sores were gone. At
Lyra’s exclamation Tarhn stopped. “Did I hurt you?” “No. Not at all. It’s just—” When her confusion tumbled into mindtouch, Tarhn understood. “I should have told you,” he said. “I never thought that you
wouldn’t know of healing.” “I’ve never needed it before, nor has anyone I knew. Can it
be learned?” “In part, for simple injuries,” said Tarhn, resuming his work
on her feet. “But mainly it’s a matter of genes. There. Feel better?” “Thank you. Ignoring the pain was one more sap on my energy.”
Lyra looked at him closely, then added, “And healing was a drain on yours, wasn’t
it?” Tarhn laughed. “Not as much as carrying you tomorrow would
have been.” Lyra’s lips touched his, then with the next breath she was
deep in sleep. The cool water Tarhn bathed her with did not disturb her, nor
did she wake when he wrapped her in a blanket and carried her away from the
spring. Even with the slakes on guard, it would be foolish to sleep near water
in a dry land. Tarhn walked until he found a place where shadegrass grew in
a thick carpet beneath an old tree. He lowered Lyra gently to the ground. As he
turned away, Bithe settled silently in the branches high overhead. *Guard her well, my friend, or I’ll use your blue hide for
my next pair of boots.* Bithe hissed complacently. Tarhn gave a last glance to the sleeping Lyra, then
stretched out beside her, asleep before his head touched the grass. Tarhn woke at the first suggestion of dawn. Stars still
silvered the darkness, but they would soon be drowned in the sun’s pouring
light. He stretched hugely, satisfied for no reason other than a resilient body
renewed by a night’s sleep. Lyra murmured and snuggled against his warmth. Her
whole body plainly said that if he were going to thrash about and let cold air
beneath her blanket, the least he could do was warm her again. Tarhn laughed silently, then relented and tucked the blanket
more firmly about both of them. Not that she needed more sleep; the strengthening
light showed her face unlined by fatigue, lips a relaxed curve. But the day
would be long and he was loathe to end the drowsy lucent moment. He closed his eyes
and drifted into the sensual half-world between sleep and waking. Lyra uncurled
along him, savoring his warmth. *If it’s warmth you want ....* Tarhn rolled onto his back and in the same motion lifted
Lyra so that she became a supple covering over the length of his body. The
smiling lips that moved against his seemed not at all sleepy, nor did the laughter
that felt warm against his chest. Lyra sat up lightly on his stomach,
discarding the last of the blanket. She eyed his tunic as though it were an
unexpected growth. “It’s a fine fabric,” she said, her teeth and eyes shining
in the almost dawn, “but not nearly so fine as your skin.” Tarhn’s breath drew in sharply as her fingers slid beneath
his tunic. In seconds he was nearly dizzy with desire, with her hands that
seemed to know his body as intimately as he did, where to touch and where to linger,
when to wait and when to hold. With a few quick motions they removed the offending tunic.
He lay back again, absorbing her beauty as she rose above him, dawn
highlighting the supple curves of neck and breasts and hips, the soft inviting
pressure of thighs. His hands followed his eyes until she trembled with need of
him. She lifted gracefully, slid over him, hips moving slowly, caressingly,
transforming the movement into timeless rhythms of sensuality. As their bodies mingled, so did their minds. Pleasure
dazzled the imperfect links, evading pain as they came yet more deeply into
each other until neither one knew nor cared who was man or woman, cloud or
earth, for both lived only in the burning lightning which united them. Even after the incandescent urgency was spent, she yet held
him while his hands and lips told her of the beauty she had given him. But
finally even the warmth of their joined bodies could not deny the chilly dawn. Tarhn pulled the blanket over them, delaying the moment that
they must wake and walk in a harsher reality than the one they now shared. He
held her, savoring the ease they both felt in the other. The fragrance of her
hair, the softness of her breasts moving with each breath, the pale rose of
dawn. He bent to kiss her breasts and felt his body stir with new
desire. His mouth moved slowly over her, teeth arousing gently, tongue
exploring all her textures, her body opening to him like a rain-sweet flower
until he wanted her as he had never wanted any woman, knew that he would always
want her. He whispered her name and heard her voice make a song of his own. The road to the Access is long. Tarhn couldn’t decide whether he or Lyra or both had
said/thought/felt the words, but neither one denied their truth. She kissed him
undemandingly and he answered in kind, both secure in their numberless tomorrows,
both prepared to resume their march without regret. They climbed all morning through gradually thinning air,
then down and into a deep valley gouged out of the surrounding mountains by a
long-melted glacier. Steep cliffs and hanging valleys formed by ancient
tributary glaciers rimmed the main valley. Though the ice was gone, some of the
valleys spun a sheer ribbon of waterfall or cascade into the main valley. “Which way?” Lyra’s eyes swept the valley, then she pointed toward the jagged
notch of a close, steep cascade. “That one. Climb the edges of the cascade, then up through
the notch into a tiny cirque. The back wall of the cirque has crumbled into a
steep—” Tarhn’s mental command for silence chopped off Lyra’s words.
The wind stirred in the valley again, bringing with it a faint wailing like a
foretaste of death. “A crosset,” said Tarhn shortly. “The hunters must be mounted
to have caught up so quickly.” “Crosset?” Tarhn’s face was corded and grim. “A tracking animal. It can follow anything anywhere.” “Anywhere?” “A crosset can’t fly—neither can we. It can’t swim, but it
can track us through shallow water. And rocks are its home.” Tarhn fell silent. Almost absently he held out his arms for
the friends he had called out of the sky. His hands stroked each of them
lovingly while he made his request. “No,” said Lyra when he would have launched them once again.
“Nothing must die.” “The crosset must die. The slakes are our only weapon.” “What about rain,” said Lyra quickly. “Would rain wash out
our trail?” Tarhn looked at the wisps of clouds teasing the mountaintops
and shook his head. “It would take a violent storm to wash away all scent of us.
These clouds could do no more than spit.” “How much time do we have before the hunters can see us?” “An hour, maybe less.” “Enough,” said Lyra, shedding her pack. “What—?” “We must climb to the cirque. Quickly. There is a way which
will destroy neither slake nor hunter. Trust me.” Tarhn launched the slakes toward the hanging valley,
devoutly wishing that Lyra had their wings. By the time he dumped his pack next
to her, Lyra had reached the lower rocks of the cascade and was clawing her way
upward. After a timeless nightmare of frantic scrambling, Tarhn passed through
the narrow notch and into the cliff-ringed cirque which looked more like trap
than haven. As he ran toward the far end of the cirque, the sound of the crosset
drifted up to him, louder than before, and with it the exultant howls of Manx
catans carrying their riders to the kill. Tarhn swore futilely. The hunters would be across the main
valley and up the cascade in less time than it would take Lyra to scramble out
of the rockfall at the back of the valley. “Lie down there,” said Lyra, pointing above his head to a slab
of rocks which was protected by an overhanging cliff. “Tell your slakes to fly
high and fast away from here, beyond the clouds. And don’t move,” she added urgently.
“If you aren’t safe when the storm ends ....” Though she said no more, Tarhn felt the quick wash of her
love for him, then all feeling in him died as he watched the gold consuming her
eyes, amber diminishing, gone, a woman standing tall and golden and alien,
alien. Tarhn clawed his way up to the ledge, heavy with fear and
memories rising ghastly after too long burial. He slapped the memories aside
and wriggled under the sheltering cliff, but the memories rose choking, fresh
dreams dying, and the alien standing quiet as waiting death, face and hands
reaching toward the sky. Gentle harmony lifted from her lips, caressing, filled
the tiny valley and bloomed above the barren rock. Nerves taut with fear relaxed
under soothing assurances of song. The breeze from the main valley became a hard, steady draft
sucking air heavy with warmth and water up to chill mountain heights. Wisps of
moisture fattened into clouds boiling over one another and the sun died in a
ragged fall of water. Gentle harmony transformed to eerie duet. One voice
rippled in joyous praise of the waters of life. The second voice sang of the swift waters of destruction. Golden light leaped from the alien’s outstretched fingers,
yearning, compelling. Wind burst into the cirque with a rending howl, shaking
the very cliffs. Clouds spat lightning and splitting thunder and the land quivered
and rang with unleashed energy. The alien stood gold and untouched by
rain and wind, a still center in the wheeling violence. Light wove through her
fingers as her keening song wove the storm. And the water was a thick tide rising. Tarhn buried his face in his arms as water poured into the
cirque faster than the tiny stream could carry it to the cascade, heard a new
sound usurp the thunder; rumbling, gnashing, the sound was a force greater than
rain, unendurable, rocks lifting and smashing in a slow, immense slide down the
cascade. Yet still the alien song called down lightning, kneaded
clouds with sliding dissonance and golden light incandescent that burned his
eyes and mind until he saw only memories, curtains of will separating past from
present vaporized, leaving him trapped and trembling on a harsh ledge of stone,
paralyzed by the depth of her betrayal. Then an acid torrent of hate dissolved
his anguish into leaping rage. He reviled the Carifil for not telling him,
loathed himself for touching her obscene life, prayed to survive the storm that
he might kill the unspeakable Singer he once loved. His head lifted, lips twisted and ugly with words of fear
and frustrated revenge. For the Carifil wanted her alive. The song ended abruptly and with it the worst of the storm.
Tarhn watched the golden light fade, allowing the rain to reach Lyra for the
first time. In seconds she was drenched. She slipped and stumbled over the
ragged rocks many times until blood flowed from the hands that had held gold
fire. Tarhn smiled to see a Singer bleed. He watched unmoving
while she fell again and again in her climb to him. When her head was nearly
level with his he looked coldly at the devastated valley beneath her feet. “And you were worried about the slakes killing,” he said cuttingly.
Those poor bastards would have died easier under slake fangs than under the
flood you loosed. You’re a Singer all right—if it moves, kill it. But first
make it suffer.” Lyra shuddered away from him, his name fell unheard from her
lips. “What?” he demanded, his voice a lash. He sensed her reaching out to him, then recoiling in pain
when she touched the black flames of his hatred. “Only the crosset died,” she whispered. “It would not leave
the scent.” Tarhn’s disbelieving laughter cut deeper than words. Lyra
swayed, then lifted amber and gold eyes to his. “Believe what comforts you,” she said raggedly, “but spare
me the destruction of your hatred. I have not earned it.” “You earned it the day of your birth, Lyra Mara, half-gened
bastard of Daveen Li’mari and a killer race.” *Tarhn, why are you destroying us? Why do you hate me? * The thought slid through his defenses, a silver anguish that
would have made granite weep, but Tarhn was flesh, not stone. “Singer.” The word was an animal’s snarl. Lyra seemed to waver before him, transparent, then opaque,
mind and body, a weary stranger who had mistakenly thought she knew him. “The Singers didn’t know that they carried sickness,” she
said finally. “You are Tau; your people conquered many races; killed many
people. Yet you do not hate the Tau.” Tarhn dismissed her logic with a cruel gesture. When she
spoke again, the music of her voice was strangely thinned. “I must reach the Access quickly.” “Why? Dead crossets are very poor trackers.” “Our minds are too closely attuned—” Tarhn’s surge of denial needed no words to give it force.
Lines of strain appeared across Lyra’s face. “Yes. Attuned,” she said emotionlessly. “Your hatred
destroys me as self-hatred would. You have the training to control—No. I’ve
learned that much. To expect discipline or kindness of a Galactic is to be disappointed.” “So ... a Singer is vulnerable. And what if I don’t choose
to discipline my emotions?” “There are easier ways to kill me. But, perhaps, none so
satisfying for you.” “I’m no Singer,” spat Tarhn. He banked his emotions as he would a fire, burying hatred
until its fierce heat no longer seared through Lyra’s mind. Immediately relief
loosened the taut lines of her face. She breathed deeply. “Thank you.” As though she knew he would not reply, Lyra turned and began
working her way across the rain-slick rocks. Tarhn watched her through narrowed
eyes, the bloody marks left by her hands and feet a clear trail for him to follow. After a long time he did follow. Though the rocks were slippery
and the footing unpredictable, he didn’t fall. He knew then that the song, or
his hatred, had depleted Lyra to the point at which she had little strength to
cope with the trail. Soon he was close enough to hear her muffled cry of pain
when she fell yet again. At the sound of his approach she flung her head up,
eyes blind with Singer gold. He hung back as she crawled slowly toward the last
steep rockslide guarding the rear exit from the valley. There eons of winter
ice had eroded the circling rock into a narrow col suspended between high
peaks. When she fell yet again on the sharp rocks, he closed the gap with a few
swift strides and bent to pull her to her feet. She screamed in agony at his touch. He withdrew his hand as
from a fire, looked at her measuringly. “If you aren’t able to get through the
pass alone, I’d have to carry you.” She breathed deeply and her voice shook. “No ... when you
touch me, no shield, no discipline, nothing baffles your destroying hatred.
Leave me here.” “No.” Lyra stifled a cry of despair. “Then please, please open
your mind, let me show you where the Access is. I can’t stay close to you, I’ll—” “Walk or be carried.” At the edge of his tightly held mind, Tarhn sensed a
question asked and answered in a cascade of aching song. At last, to his relief,
she pulled herself to her feet. Much as he despised Singers, his flesh crawled
at the thought of simple touch bringing such agony. Tarhn lost count of the times Lyra fell in her slow progress
up the slippery sloping pile of rocks which led over the col. At last she fell
and did not rise. Tentatively he touched her; no response. “Praise the Tortured God,” he said beneath his breath,
relieved at not having to watch her worm’s progress any more. He lifted her limp body into carrying position across his
shoulders and carefully traversed the last slippery ledge. The downhill side
was much less steep. And it was dry. N’Lete and Bithe swooped from ragged wisps of cloud, wings
spread so that the descending sun shone through blue skin stretched over black
bones. They were blue fire and beauty and grace. They were friends. Tarhn put Lyra down and held his arms open for the slakes to
land. *I’m glad that demon storm didn’t catch you, slakes.* The slakes coiled around him delightedly, tickling his ears
with their darting tongues. *Enough!* With a few last feints, the slakes ceased their play. Bithe
scrambled down and flicked his tongue over Lyra questioningly. *She sleeps.* The quality of Tarhn’s thought forbade further exploration.
Bithe retreated a few steps and assumed his guard stance. Tarhn launched n’Lete
into the sunset sky. If anyone had survived the storm, as Lyra claimed, n’Lete
should find them nearby. When n’Lete had vanished to a dot, Tarhn arranged himself in
a position of deep concentration, giving himself completely over to Carifil
training. When his eyes opened again, they no longer glinted with uncontrolled
hatred. He was once again Carifil on assignment. As only Lyra knew precisely
where the Access was, he must ensure that she would be able to lead the way. He worked quickly over her, healing the gouges and deep
gashes rocks had made. When he finished, he sat cross-legged near her, working
with his emotions again, weighing some probabilities, absolutely ignoring others.
In this state he absently received n’Lete’s report that no hunters moved
nearby. He automatically lifted his arm that n’Lete might lay her head in his
lap. Bithe opened one blue eye at the intrusion, then obligingly moved over a
fraction to make room for his mate. At length, Tarhn sensed Lyra’s emergence from behind the protective
blanket of unconsciousness. “You healed me,” she said wonderingly. The latent
music of her voice made his hatred flare again. “I’d do the same for any animal.” As though sensing Lyra’s
distress, Bithe moved close to her. Slake and Singer stared silently at each
other for a long moment, then Bithe lowered his head into Lyra’s lap and
rattled his wing hopefully. “He weighs so little for his size,” said Lyra softly,
obviously seeking a neutral topic. Tarhn merely grunted. Lyra glanced quickly at him, then rubbed the skin beneath
Bithe’s wing. Bithe leaned into her touch, hissing contentment through serrated
teeth. Lyra smiled with pleasure. “Here’s one Tau who likes my
company.” “He should. You’re both killers. And bastards.” Lyra was silent for a moment, then asked, “And what is your
heritage that it belittles his?” Lyra’s gesture included both Tarhn and the slake curled in
his lap. Tarhn’s hand moved under n’Lete’s chin and his voice hummed pride and
affection. “N’Lete’s most distant ancestors flew to hunts and wars with
my own ancestors, the genocrats of Tau. Bithe, on the other hand, is wild, the
product of unrecorded mating during battle. As for me, I am Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler,
Conditional Helix of Tau. Both of my immediate progenitors held high power in
the government of Tau. They died insane under the lash of the Singers. I was a
child. My gene-uncle Kretan seized power. A true Helix will not rule Tau again,
thanks to the murdering Singers.” Tarhn was powerless to control the waiting, seeking violence
which coiled through his words. “I regret your loss, Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler,” said Lyra formally.
“Though our lifelines span eternity, the knots of death are painful.” Violence seethed in the blue light from Tarhn’s narrowed
eyes. Lyra raised her hands in a timeless gesture of defense. “I wasn’t alive when my people unwittingly brought sickness
to many planets,” she said in a strained voice. “Yet I know their agony.” His violence never lessened. “Tarhn,” she said desperately, “Every Singer who left
Chanson died. The plague was not restricted to Galactics.” “Sorry to hear that. I’ve spent a lifetime hoping to lay
hands on the Singer who visited Tau.” “It was an accident! They did not know—” “Didn’t they?” rasped Tarhn. He brushed n’Lete off his lap and stood to tower over Lyra. “They knew kerden well what they were doing. The leaders of
a hundred planetary systems don’t just die of a simultaneous accident. I’m not
crying over their deaths—most of them were carrion eaters overdue for another beginning.
But to call it an accident!” “We still grieve—” “Then my greatest wish is to feel similar grief over the
ashes of Plague!” Tarhn’s words echoed around him, returned woven into rills
of dissonance promising/warning that his wish could be granted. Yet it was not
Lyra who sang; she had withdrawn infuriatingly behind her mental defenses: She
registered on his psi no more than would a stone. He gathered his rage to
batter her shields until she was forced to writhe under the acid of his truths
as he had long ago writhed under the truths of— N’Lete clashed her teeth together, warning her mate to flee
Tarhn’s violence. The sound shocked Tarhn as nothing else could have. He saw
his own hands like claws so close to Lyra and wondered searchingly what had
nearly driven him to violate the trust of the Carifil. But his mind withheld
the answer, buried it with the ease of long experience beneath an impenetrable
will not to know. Tarhn returned his attention to n’Lete, gently arranging her
coils in his lap. Soon Bithe slunk over, his whole body rippling with confusion
over Lyra’s withdrawal and Tarhn’s rage. Tarhn smoothed Bithe’s wings and murmured
soothing words until the slake calmed and settled against him. “I was wrong to link you with a Singer, Bithe. You have been
as worthy and loyal as your mate in all our years together. And who am I to
sneer that you enjoy her sweet voice and sweeter touch? I am supposed to have a
seventh level mind, yet I was utterly fooled.” Tarhn’s hands continued their gentle movements, though his
mind had turned inward. Stars in their thousand colors burned through the deepening
night, followed by the haunting moons. The third moon of Wilderness rose before
Lyra’s return captured his wandering thoughts. Though her voice no longer held
subtle echoes of harmony, Tarhn was certain he could hear/feel a song pressing
against her, urging her. “My awareness has touched many worlds, known vicariously the
many cultures of man. I have sifted countless minds to find one with which mine
could communicate effortlessly, totally. A mind which would join mine in the
intricate, expanding union of complements. You have such a mind. “And you despise my race, loathe my presence ... yet wish to
see me live. Why?” Tarhn was silent for many minutes, then he said, “Daveen Li’mara
had many powerful friends. In a moment of sheer sentimentality the Council must
have agreed to allow you off-planet. It is they who want you alive. Perhaps
they still believe you are more his daughter than a Singer.” “I carry his genes.” “Do you? We have only the word of murderers on . that.” “Singers are not murderers. They are gentle and loving
beyond your ability to know.” Tarhn’s only response was violence quickening. “The Access lies at the bottom of this slope,” she said in a
thin voice. “There’s no need to stay together any longer. Unless you enjoy
causing me pain?” The tone of simple curiosity slipped the leash of Tarhn’s control.
He launched the slakes unceremoniously. “Shut up and walk. I’ll be right behind you.” Lyra rose and ran down the slope. He swore as he remembered
that her night vision was as good or better than his. A swift command reached n’Lete
as Tarhn plunged after Lyra. Her trail was marked both by sound and the
salt-cinnamon fragrance of plants broken off in her heedless flight. Tarhn ran
recklessly, eyes fixed on the jumble of rocks which seemed to be Lyra’s goal.
The faint smell of a scavenger’s den rose in the damp air, stronger as he
neared the rocks. Then he saw Lyra slip between two of the larger rocks and out
of sight. At the same instant a whiplike shape plummeted soundlessly through
the moonlight. Wings flashed blue fire as n’Lete braked before disappearing
into the rocks. Tarhn waited tautly, then smiled. *Down, Bithe. They’re waiting for us.* Tarhn’s low chuckle followed him into the scavenger’s den. N’Lete
was coiled on the ground, wings cocked with pride. *Well hunted, n’Lete. Your children would have ruled the battlefields
of Tau.* N’Lete hissed agreement. Tarhn’s blue crystal eyes lingered over Lyra for a moment.
Even now her body retained the elusive grace of song. For a searing moment memories
of what they had shared flooded him with doubts. But she was a Singer. His hands were indifferent as they lifted her. *Bithe?* The drumming sound of air resonating in Bithe’s throat led
Tarhn to the Access. *Up, slakes.* When the slakes were settled on the platform Tarhn leaped up
to Join them. The combined weight of slakes and humans triggered the Access. Within
seconds Tarhn felt five distinct spasms. The Carifil must be jumping him all
over the kerden galaxy. Then there came a short respite during which the
contents of the platform were scanned down to the last atom. A final spasm and
Tarhn arrived on Centrex. IV“Report, Carifil Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler.” Tarhn wondered at Councillor Elenda’s hostile tone, but gave
the report as requested. The woman stood silently for a few moments, then said
sharply, “Was it necessary to be so brutal?” Tarhn lowered the still unconscious Lyra onto a nearby allform
couch. “Yes,” he said shortly. “On what basis?” “She’s a Singer.” “Hybrid.” “Only a Singer could call that storm.” “That storm saved your life; she could have easily let you
die.” The same thought had occurred to Tarhn many times, but all
he said was, “She claimed Singers aren’t murderers, yet at least five men died
under her song.” “You would have done the same if you could.” “She still lied.” “You counted the bodies?” “There wouldn’t have been enough left to count.” “There were no bodies. A guide and four hunters lived to
report a Singer’s presence on Wilderness. It would have been better if she had
killed them. Do you distrust her still?” “She lied about other deaths. The plague was no accident.” “Did you lie about the hunters dying?” countered Elenda. “I drew obvious conclusions from the data on hand.” “Exactly.” Elenda let her remark echo for a moment before saying, “Come.
The others are waiting.” Tarhn followed unquestioningly; he knew that someone would
come to care for his slakes. And that the slakes would care for Lyra. He
wondered who the others were and what they waited for. Elenda gestured to him
to precede her through a curving door. Anticipation radiated from the room like
heat from a fire. Who— “Jerlis!” Tarhn’s whoop of joy set off waves of friendly laughter.
Tarhn never noticed it; his whole attention was centered on the tiny woman who
was lost in his massive greeting. “Don’t squeeze too hard,” said a laughing voice. “We’d be
lost without Jerlis.” Tarhn smiled and gently put Jerlis back on her feet, though
not out of reach. His hands savored the familiar texture of suede and his mind
brimmed pleasure at unexpectedly seeing her. Her dark skin/fur was still lustrous,
her sensitive ears still erect fans, and her round turquoise eyes still
unclouded. “You are ageless,” he said simply. “I am glad.” Jerlis smiled, revealing the jagged teeth of carnivorous
ancestry. To someone who didn’t know her the smile would have been chilling. To
Tarhn it was the sun rising warm after a long night. “No one can compete with Jerlis,” said a husky voice close
to him, “but is it too much to hope for a civil greeting?” Tarhn turned and looked into the ferocious orange eyes of a
Rynlon. “The way your consort greeted me,” said Tarhn wryly, “I half
expected you to ignore me.” “Never,” said Dachen. Tarhn hugged him soundly, then really looked around the room
for the first time. “Jasilyn, Iandrel, Kotomotay, Fiodor ....” Tarhn was delighted to see so many of his friends, but why
were they here? When he had begun his ill-fated free time, these people had
been scattered across the galaxy. “Yes,” said Dachen, “a pattern is nearing crisis. We must decide
whether to cut or weave or wait.” Tarhn sent quick apologies to his ungreeted friends before
he stretched out on an empty allform couch. “Thank you, Tarhn,” said Elenda quietly. “I apologize for my
rudeness earlier and for my haste now. The haste, at least, is necessary.” Tarhn smiled, but the immense attentiveness of his mind
never wavered. “All of you were called away from assignments. Again I
apologize and plead necessity. We have two important, strangely linked patterns
nearing crisis. One is the Singer enigma. The other is Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler.” Tarhn stiffened. “Most of you have heard of the Singer enigma; a few of you
have worked with me to solve it. The salient facts are scant and simple. Chanson,
often known as Plague, was first discovered by a Concord Survey ship nearly
three decades ago. First contact was peaceful. The Singers appeared to be an amiable
race. When told about the Concord, they petitioned for membership. After the
petition was received, the usual cultural index examinations began. The results
were nonsense. The Singers’ culture eluded categorization.” “The contact team couldn’t decide whether Singer culture was
the minimum level necessary for full Concord membership. They called for an
Assembly vote, as in all cases in which the team cannot make unanimous recommendations.” “As their name indicates, the Singers’ special value to the
Concord was the surpassing beauty of their songs; Contact’s recording equipment
failed to capture that beauty fully.” Elenda stopped, her startling violet eyes fixed on a point
light-years distant. “The obvious solution,” she continued, “would have been to
transport a few Singers to the next Assembly gathering. That’s what we did for
the Talerit, whose unique ability was empathic drama. Instead, Contact arranged
to jump Singers to individual planets to be heard and judged by separate
planetary governments. Later, Contact could give no explanation for this arrangement. “The rest you know. Wherever the Singers sang, people died.
The Council, acting for the whole Assembly, has spent the intervening years
trying to discover exactly what happened. Contact left a spacecom on Chanson,
but the Singers absolutely refused all communication—particularly mental. “The planet was proscribed. Since then the only contact we’ve
had has been accidental, and tragic.” Elenda exchanged a look of sadness with Jerlis. “Daveen Li’mara, a Carifil, had established a close orbit
around Chanson. His objective was to penetrate the Singer silence. After
several weeks his ship’s engines suddenly became erratic. We believe it was sabotage.
Not by tile Singers, but by Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler, as Jerlis will explain. Surprisingly,
after the ship crashed, the Singers saved Daveen’s life, if not his memories.
He never used the spacecom. When his daughter was born it was the Singers who
told us, as they told us of his death. Beyond these singularly terse
communications, we had no contact with the Singers until four standard days
ago. Then the Singers requested that Lyra Mara be exempted from proscription.” “The Council debated the request; at length we agreed to
allow Lyra Mara off Chanson in hopes that we would learn more about the Singers
from her. The Carifil had an additional reason for giving Lyra her freedom.
Jerlis?” Jerlis sat up and faced her friends’ curiosity. “Kretan isn’t nearly so spectacular as the Singers, which is
part of the problem.” Jerlis curled her ears in exasperation and started over
again. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler, bred and raised a Tau genocrat, inventor
and two-fifths owner of Access Unlimited. Three-fifths is owned by Lyra Mara.” Iandrel’s surprised oath made Jerlis smile. “Are you trying to ask me how a Singer came to own the majority
interest in the richest enterprise in the galaxy?” purred Jerlis. Iandrel laughed and complimented Jerlis in his native
tongue. “I’ll take that as yes,” said Jerlis. “It’s a long and
tangled story, and you’ll have to be patient with me. Fifty years ago Tau had
just lost the last in a ruinous series of interplanetary wars. Tau was stripped
of all but its human resources. One of those resources was Kretan. He succeeded
in—shall I say discovering?—no, describing, the mathematical basis for instantaneous
movement within the galaxy. He thereafter spent many years designing and
building a machine he called an Access. “It was as brilliant a piece of work as has ever been done
by man. But there was a problem. Tau had no money to finance Accesses, nor any
real interest in them. Kretan took the plans to many other planets before he
found Lyle Li’mara, a wealthy trader from a planet new to the Concord. Lyle
agreed to finance production, installation, and selling of the Access in return
for three-fifths ownership of the patent and Access Unlimited.” “Lyle died soon after. Through a series of circumstances I
won’t deal with now, his grandson Daveen became my ward. Technically, Daveen
owned three-fifths of AU, but by Concord law he was unable either to wield or
delegate this control until he reached the minimum age to be a full Concord
citizen. Thus, for two decades Kretan ran AU without interference. He was, and
is, brilliant and ruthless, with an affinity for power which is frightening.” “As soon as Daveen reached citizenship age, we tried to
assert his control over AU, using the AU money which had been held in trust for
him. Kretan, of course, resisted. We fought him through every court in the galaxy.
We had just won major concessions when Daveen so conveniently crashed on a
proscribed planet.” Jerlis scowled fiercely. “I’m sure Kretan was responsible. He had tried persistently
to kill Daveen before he reached majority, for by law Kretan would have then become
sole owner of AU.” Jasilyn interrupted with a frustrated noise. “I know,” said Jerlis quickly. “Concord laws would confuse
Xerle Herself. The important thing to remember is that if Daveen died without
gene heirs before he was a full citizen, Kretan inherited the company. But if
Daveen died after he was a citizen, without gene heirs, Elenda, Tarhn, and
myself would have inherited Daveen’s interest.” “Kerden three-toed mard,” muttered Jasilyn, then added more
loudly, “Then why did Kretan try to kill Daveen?” “He didn’t try to kill him,” said Jerlis patiently. “He
merely tried to force Daveen to land on a proscribed planet. Once Daveen
touched Chanson, and lived, Kretan had won.” “I’m afraid to ask why,” said Fiodor mildly. “Don’t,” said Jasilyn with a laugh. Jerlis snapped her teeth together in irritation and gave
Jasilyn a long look. They had met physically only a few times, though their
minds were often linked for Carifil business. And under Jasilyn’s flamboyant
red hair and rustic manners was a mind as fierce and cunning as any Jerlis had
known. Jasilyn smiled meaningfully at Jerlis; she knew the game was
up. She leaned so close to Fiodor that her bright hair touched him. “Kretan,” said Jasilyn in a loud whisper, “sounds like a
seventh level crook. He’d probably been sucking Daveen’s three-fifths. The
thought of a Death Audit In The Absence of Gene Heirs would give him the Salcan
trots. But with Daveen caged alive on Chanson, no problem.” Jerlis sighed, but conceded that Jasilyn had covered the
high points succinctly. “Yes. The only trick was to keep Daveen alive for the
decades Kretan wanted. Daveen fooled him by dying in his first maturity. But he
left a gene heir. Kretan was sitting fat; unquestioned control of Access Unlimited
for the foreseeable future. “Unless the Concord voted to annihilate the Singers.” Tarhn turned on Jerlis with an expression of disbelief. “Are you saying that in order to inconvenience a rich man,
you let the Singers escape a just annihilation—and even permitted one of them
off-planet? Kretan is a cunning old carrion eater, but he isn’t a Singer!” Jerlis’ turquoise eyes widened. That Tarhn of all people
should underestimate Kretan .... “Listen to it this way, Tarhn,” said Jerlis earnestly. “In
just under five decades, the Access has almost totally replaced lightships as
the means of moving goods, people, and information within the galaxy. Planets
that don’t have Accesses are nearly as isolated as they were before interstellar
lightships. Further, the Accesses make money for the planets, even considering
the inflated installation and royalty payments. And if the planets are too poor
to pay or are impatient to make money, the installation fee can be paid in people.
Very attractive, especially to retrograde governments. Three-eighths of Kretan’s
Accesses are on conscript planets.” Jerlis searched Tarhn’s grim face for dawning understanding,
but found none. “By Xerle’s Great Ears,” she snapped, “do I need mindtouch
to get through to you? Kretan has a virtual monopoly on interstellar movement,
owns the free labor of over seven billion people, and receives one-sixth of the
gross profits made by all Accesses. He is within eight years of de facto
control of the galaxy.” “But the Concord—” began Tarhn. “Can’t do a kerden thing. Most planets are even afraid to
try. Years ago a movement started in the Assembly to pass a law which would
have had the effect of circumscribing Kretan’s power. Ten supposedly powerful
people representing the ten most powerful planets organized the movement. And
when the yearly renewal time for their Access leases came around, there were
ten planets that no longer had Accesses. “The planets were ruined. Since that time, only the Carifil
have openly challenged Kretan. With Lyra Mara’s help, we can win.” “Can you revoke the patent?” said Kotomotay. “It sounds as
though he must have broken enough laws to bring him before the Deliberators.” “And if we win, Kretan will destroy every Access built,”
said Jerlis. “Maybe that wouldn’t destroy the Concord. Maybe; Concord planets
are too dependent on the Accesses to live well or even badly without them.” “Then kill him,” said Tarhn bluntly. “Xerle’s Eyes, Tarhn! Did you leave your wits on Wilderness?
Every time the Concord gets rumors of Kretan’s location they jump a platoon of
assassins to the area. Nothing. The Carifil have hunted him for years. Nothing.
Unless we can clear up the Singer problem, we have a choice between chaos
without Accesses and despotism with Accesses.” “Don’t forget,” said Dachen dryly, “we also have to keep
Lyra out of Kretan’s reach now. If he lifts her the game is over.” “Insane! All of you!” said Tarhn savagely. “You want to exonerate
the Singers falsely in order to give one of them virtual control of the galaxy.” “Kretan is a known, quantifiable evil,” said Jerlis. “The
Singers are not.” “They are murderers.” “There’s no proof of that, but there’s plenty of proof that
Kretan is far too powerful.” Tarhn sat silently, seeking an escape from Jerlis’ net of
facts. Finally he looked at her and said hoarsely, “Then kill Lyra Mara to
force a Death Audit.” Jerlis turned from Tarhn to Elenda and demanded, “What else
happened on Wilderness?” “I relayed precisely what Tarhn reported, as he reported it.” Tarhn moved uncomfortably under Jerlis’ probing eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Tarhn,” said Jerlis in a voice of
gentle confusion. “You believe the Singers planned the plague?” “I know they did.” As if voice alone were not enough, he reinforced his
certainty with brief mindtouch. “What evidence do you have that the Carifil and Concord have
overlooked?” “None.” “Lyra did nothing, told you nothing—” “Nothing.” “Then you believe rather than know.” Tarhn disliked appearing unreasonable, but could do nothing
about it. He knew. His stubbornness was not lost on Jerlis, but its cause was. “Tarhn, what happened on Wilderness?” she said patiently. “Elenda used command probe,” answered Tarhn. “My report was
complete.” “It couldn’t have been,” said Jerlis flatly. “Everyone in
this room received that report, and all we know now is that the Singers are psi
masters. And we already believed that. We learned nothing new. Certainly
nothing that would make us decide—” “Then you’re all using unconscious filters,” snapped Tarhn. “Or you are,” returned Jerlis neutrally. Tarhn felt anger flash hotly even as part of his mind calmly
told him that his anger proved the truth of Jerlis’ statement. He made a casual
gesture with his hands, though the thought of psychic integration sent baffling
surges of panic through him. “Looks like it’s time for integration,” said Tarhn lightly. “Elenda
must have thought so or she wouldn’t have probed me.” “That’s not why I probed,” said Elenda. Tarhn looked at her in surprise. “Then why?” Dachen sensed the unease radiating from Elenda and touched
her hand lightly. “Did you know that Daveen and I were complements?” said
Elenda abruptly. Confused, Tarhn could only say, “I wasn’t sure.” He sensed Iandrel’s rush of sympathy for Elenda and remembered
that Iandrel’s complement had also died. “I’m lucky,” said Elenda. “In time I found another. I have
two reasons for telling you about Daveen. The first is your own completion:
Lyra. I know from your rage that you agree with me. Somehow the Singers also
knew. “They requested that you be the one to guard Lyra.” Tarhn sensed his mental defenses closing one upon the other
down to levels he had not known possible. Though he realized the absurdity of
his reaction, it took him several minutes to control it. When he emerged, he
felt the concern and love of his friends and Jerlis’ hands on his forehead
pouring reassurance into his mind as she had when he was an untrained child. Elenda resumed speaking as though nothing had happened. “I will kill no one’s complement. And I will kill no Singer.” “Tell him why,” said Dachen. “It’s not,” said Elenda, “as Tarhn would like to believe,
out of misplaced sentiment for Daveen. But when he died the first time—” Tarhn’s startled exclamation was involuntary, “Yes. The crash was fatal. I felt him dying, felt his
awareness condense into a shimmering line, felt that line curl put from his
broken body, sensed the irrevocable knot forming, formed and then the Singers
asking if death be consummation or accident and Daveen ...” Tarhn strained to hear her words, so low had her voice
become. “... and I/Daveen ... Daveen/they radiant song ....” Tarhn waited, but it was Jerlis who finished. “When the song faded, Daveen lived again, though changed.
The last thought he communicated was, “Theirs is the power ....” “Do you understand now, Tarhn?” said Elenda. “You believe he died,” said Tarhn carefully. “You believe
the Singers returned him to life. Perhaps, if you can call what remained of
Daveen’s life. Even if you are right in your beliefs, is one deliberate life
enough to forget thousands of deliberate deaths? Is—” Tarhn stopped abruptly at a look from Dachen. The Rynlon’s
orange eyes were embers of disbelief burning in a crucible of steel. “The
second reason, my deliberately blind friend, is pragmatic rather than ethical.
As such, you will doubtless find it easier to grasp. If we set out to destroy
the Singers we might find ourselves in the position of savages throwing stones
at a lightship. If we’re lucky the Singers will overlook our puny attempts. If
not—” Dachen clapped his hands together explosively. “The Singers aren’t that powerful,” said Tarhn. “Oh?” said Dachen. “I can’t remember the last time I resurrected
the dead, or even sang up a small drizzle.” “You forget something.” “What?” “I can kill Lyra Mara without even touching her.” “Yes, you’re a weapon,” admitted Dachen. “But are you
Carifil or your own? Can you obey if we say don’t kill? Can you control
yourself as well as you control Lyra? Yesterday I would have said yes. Today
.... you are more landmine than lasgun. Whether your explosion kills Singer or
Carifil is purely chance. You suggested integration. I agree. Jerlis is here;
she fits more deeply into your mind than any other Carifil.” Tarhn controlled his inward resistance and looked into
Jerlis’ troubled eyes. “Do you agree?” said Tarhn. “Only if you do,” said Jerlis. “You’re free to refuse.” Tarhn laughed softly. A Carifil could refuse integration,
yes. But he would never receive another assignment until he had been
integrated. “When do we begin?” he said. Dachen visibly relaxed, sending Tarhn into laughter again.
Dachen smiled wryly. “Laugh all you want, Tarhn. I’ll be kerden glad to have you
back. The Carifil walk a very thin wire now: Kretan and a few others don’t want
the: Singers destroyed. Fortunately, Kretan is powerful enough to
bend the Assembly. But when word goes out that a Singer walks free and
powerful, the six thousand gods of Dianthus couldn’t stop an Assembly vote to
annihilate. That gives us very little time to solve the Singer enigma before we’re
ordered to kill in ignorance and fear, not knowing why or what we kill until it’s
too late.” “I can’t change that,” said Tarhn. “You can change the ignorance. Lyra is the only message the
Singers have sent us. I think they were afraid we might not decode all of it in
time, so they arranged for you to be close by, the key to all her locked information.” “Kerden stubborn key they chose,” muttered Elenda. “Very,” agreed Dachen cheerfully. “Well, they’ve done their
part. Now it’s left to us to find out why the key is reluctant. When we know
that, we may know enough that Lyra is no longer required.” Jerlis smiled at Tarhn’s confusion. “Tarhn,” she said softly, “it can hardly be a coincidence
that you were the only one who heard the first Singers—and lived.” “But I didn’t hear them,” he said irritably. “I was a child
too young to have slakes, much less be admitted to the Hall of Genocrats on a
state matter.” ‘Then where did you live before you went to Feldenshold? And
who gave you two young slakes called n’Lete and Bithe?” “I ... don’t ... know,” said Tarhn wonderingly. “I do,” said Jerlis, “How?” “You told me, long ago. You were old enough to have slakes
when the Singer came to Tau. You took them with you that night. Something happened
to all of you. Or have you also forgotten that the Helix strain is psi null and
that normal Tau slakes have less awareness than a pile of rocks!” Tarhn felt the room fracture into jagged pieces while a
distant form wailed and writhed away from golden notes searing, growing, a dawn
of melody, beauty rising on the sun, song rising, warmth burning acid deep. *Tarhn!* Jerlis’ frantic mindcall wrenched the room back together. *Give me sleep, Jerlis, Give me peace.* When Tarhn awoke, only Jerlis was there. He felt tension
throughout his body, felt Jerlis’ eyes take note, felt her thought that
integration should wait until he was more relaxed. “This is my normal state, Jerlis. I usually bother to
conceal it.” “I must be getting old. This is the first time in centuries
someone has known my thoughts without my help.” Tarhn looked at her searchingly, then smiled. “You’re not getting old. Usually a good part of my mind is
busy overriding useless signals from a different part of my mind. Now, I don’t
care if you know my tension.” Jerlis nodded her head slowly, then said, “How long—” “As long as I can remember.” “Even after Carifil integration?” “Yes.” “Then you are the most powerful mind I have ever touched—and
the most secret. Though I love you, I don’t really know you. I can’t help a
mind of your power unless you want to be helped. No one can. Except, possibly ...
Lyra.” The savagery of Tarhn’s negation made Jerlis step backwards. “Sorry, Jerlis. It isn’t your fault. You’re only telling the
truth.” Jerlis wondered what other truths might draw a similar or
worse reaction. “There’s only one way to find out,” said Tarhn, handing her
a psitran. Jerlis accepted the psitran, hesitated, then said, “Integration
is not punishment, Tarhn. No, let me speak. Part of your mind is cut off,
barricaded even from yourself.” Tarhn waited, his blue eyes hooded and opaque. “It has been
many years since your first integration. That is neither good nor bad, simply
fact. You have seen and done and thought much in those years. It would not be
surprising if you had some events that were not digested, that you needed help
to integrate into your changing self. I have been integrated eighteen times;
there is no more shame or failure attached to that than to scanning a library
cube for knowledge you don’t have.” “I understand that.” “Intellectually or emotionally?” “Both.” Then why did you wait and hide?” Tarhn’s allform rippled, trying to soothe new tensions. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be here.” “You don’t have to be here.” “Jerlis,” he began angrily, then stopped when he saw her turquoise
eyes lambent with patience and shared pain. “Sorry. This can’t be very pleasant
for you, either.” Jerlis’ fingers moved in an intricate gesture of agreement,
apology, and love. “I suspect that your first integration was not fully
successful. Yet, an unintegrated mind that had reached the seventh level would
be unique in Carifil history. Not impossible; merely highly improbable. But we
must begin somewhere. We must find some focus for the second integration.” She
paused, then asked, “Have you forgotten all of your childhood?” “I haven’t forgotten any of ...” A look of mingled
perplexity and frustration creased his dark face, shadowed his vivid eyes. Jerlis waited, then said softly. “Tell me the important
things you remember, beginning with Tau and ending after your first integration.” “At my birth,” began Tarhn tonelessly, “I was declared a Conditional
First Helix of Tau. Clereth, my gene-mother, elected to raise and train me so
that I would have the qualities necessary to be confirmed First Helix. Clereth
had no night vision. Flawed genes, though otherwise she would have been at
least a Second Helix. She hated me, because my genes weren’t flawed. She made
my childhood as difficult as she could, short of actually damaging me. I doubt
if that matters now; I haven’t hated her since she died.” “How did she die?” There was a long silence. “I don’t remember.” “Review your childhood in your mind. What is your last vivid
memory of Tau?” After a few minutes, Tarhn spoke slowly. “There is a room, a
kind of large closet, in the Helix house. It is filled with cloth and the scent
of dawnflowers. I used to sit there and look out the wind gap and dream of the
time I would have my own slakes. I think—yes, I remember now. I had n’Lete
then, but she was unmated. She had refused all male slakes in the compound. I
suspected she had chosen a wild slake, but I couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter,
though. She would not be fertile for at least fifteen years .... Someday,” he
added dreamily, “I’ll take my slakes back to Tau, so they can breed
successfully. Slakes live so long, even longer than a Helix. Did you know that
their venom is the basis for some of our extender drugs?” Jerlis’ sad smile drew a sigh from Tarhn. “I know, Jerlis. I’m evading. I guess my last memory was
about one Tau month before the ... before the Singer came to Tau. You say I
heard the Singer, I doubt it. I was a bit young to be allowed into the Hall of Genocrats
on a state matter.” “Would a Conditional First Helix, no matter how young, have
been refused entrance?” “... no.” “Given what you know, not what you remember, of Tau’s government,
would a Conditional First Helix have attended that night?” “... yes. Not attending would have been a failure of
training and self-discipline. But—” “After Tau,” said Jerlis smoothly, “what are your important
memories?” “Feldenshold, first. I’m not sure how I got to that planet,
or why I left Tau. Cold-sleep travel confused my mind. One of my servants ...
Kretan ... all mixed together. After the plague, Kretan took over the government.
I can reconstruct from later knowledge, not memory. Is that all right?” “Of course.” “I must have been affected by the plague, but not enough to
die. Kretan was off-planet, trying to raise money to build an experimental
Access. When the plague struck, he came back and took over. As was right. At
that time, his was the supreme genotype of Tau. Except for mine, of course, and
I was sick and too young to rule. Either Kretan tried to kill me, or my servant
was afraid Kretan would try to kill me. Whichever, my servant and I and my
slakes went cold-sleep to Feldenshold, All I remember about my first months
there is that Feldenshold was ugly and my servant died. “I spent a lot of time in the Waif Station, until Dnorie
bought me. We hunted svarl together, golden svarl, until I’d paid back my Waif
Fee. Then I hunted alone with my slakes. I did very well. Mama Firk—she’s Carifil,
isn’t she?” “Sometimes.” “Mama Firk heard about me, gave me an impossible job to do,
and I did it. Then my slakes and I went on a lightship to the nearest Access
planet. I stepped into an Access, and when the blue light died you were there.” Tarhn smiled suddenly. “After that came the good times,
Jerlis. Especially when Daveen was with us. Strange ... a child takes everything
for granted. I’ve never really thought about it, but the Carifil must have been
looking for me, too. I’m glad you found me before Kretan did.” “So am I, for many reasons. You were very different from
what we had expected.” “Oh?” “You weren’t psi null, for one. We’d have protected you anyway,
of course. We’d have protected a litter of zarfs if they could have helped us
curb Kretan’s power. When we discovered what you were, we trained your mind and
body to the best of our knowledge.” “And I became a Carifil.” “Do you regret it, Tarhn?” “Never. I wanted, still want that more than anything else.
That’s why I’m on this kerden restless couch, waiting.” “You won’t have to wait much longer. Just a few more memories.” “The important ones ... Daveen. So many good memories, like
that crystal day when the Deliberators finally awarded him controlling interest
in Access Unlimited. We had won. Kretan would no longer own bodies and souls
across the galaxy .... then Daveen’s lightship falling from orbit to crash on
Plague.” “Chanson,” said Jerlis softly. “And the mind-linked search for Daveen. I wasn’t integrated,
not Carifil, but I sensed the beauty. “And my first integration finally came. I was frightened,
and you were a warm breath of serenity. It was so easy. We sat and shared our
memories and emotions, and I learned to accept what I knew about myself as you
had accepted me. We taught each other, too, though I’m sure that most of the
learning was mine.” “That was my mistake, Tarhn. At the time, I didn’t know that
you had heard the Singer. The Carifil assumed that everyone who heard the
Singer died. It wasn’t until we understood why the Singers wanted you as Lyra’s
guide that we realized that your blanked out memories were not the result of
cold-sleep. Too late. You were on Wilderness. The Carifil need those memories,
Tarhn. And so do you. You’ll never be whole until you remember. “And you do not want to remember.” Tarhn stiffened, then forced himself to relax. Jerlis waited until he no longer struggled with himself,
then she spoke quietly. “We will begin with your first Carifil integration, then
work backwards through your life until you are a child on Tau. Neither of us
will have control over which of your memories surface. The memories will be
called forth by a key word. Each memory will be older than the preceding
memory. Do you understand and accept these conditions of integration?” she
asked formally. “Yes.” “Tarhn,” she added gently, “whatever you are afraid of, you
won’t have to face it alone. As an integrator, I have a more flexible,
experienced mind than yours. Together we can cope with and learn from your
fears. My mind is supposed to be stronger than yours, but I no longer believe
that to be true. My instincts say that even with your crippling struggle
against yourself, we are well-matched. You will have to help me.” “How?” “By fighting me as little as possible, by hiding from
yourself as little as possible.” “But I thought you could force integration, if it came to
that.” “I don’t think so, Tarhn. Not with you.” “Then get some help. I don’t want to hurt you.” “If what I believe is true, even mind-linked Carifil could
not force your awareness. But we might break you. No, we would break you. I won’t
permit that.” Jerlis put her psitran on, adjusted it minutely, and murmured
an integrator’s wordless chant of relaxation and readiness. Tarhn watched with
apprehension that grew as he realized he was more afraid for her than for
himself. She bent slightly, kissed him. “Remember you are loved. Your
pain, your fear, all that is you.” Tarhn hugged her gently, then said, “Be careful, little
mother.” “No psitran for you?” she asked. “I’ve enough power. Too much.” “What are you afraid of, Tarhn?” “I don’t know.” “Singer?” Tarhn’s body tightened. “Do you accept that as a key word?” said Jerlis. “That’s not up to me.” “Normally, no. Do you accept that word?” “Yes.” “I think we’ll skip Wilderness for now; your report was complete,
though baffling.” When Tarhn’s body showed no relaxation, they both knew she
had guessed right: Wilderness was catalyst rather than beginning. The beginning
was earlier, much earlier, but to demand it too hastily would be useless. Jerlis placed the psitran on her head and sat next to Tarhn.
With her hand on his forehead she sent the mental commands which preceded integration. Tarhn felt his defenses lowering, but it was more than
training commands which made him receptive. It was Jerlis herself; her love and
compassion permeated the harsh edges of his mind, calming. *We’ll regress from the first Carifil integration. I don’t
want to approach your memories too quickly. Remember how you felt after integration;
we talked over your tests? Remember?* *Yes, I—* SINGER “Tarhn, you’ve come a long way from the jumpy, near-savage
svarl hunter of a few years ago,” said Jerlis with obvious satisfaction. Her finger pressed a button and Tarhn’s personal file
appeared on the wallscreen. At the same time the light dimmed to a deep rose
until the outlines of the comfortable room were barely visible. Tarhn’s eyes
quickly adjusted to the new light. “As the final act of this stage of your training, you are
allowed, required, to review your file. If you have questions, I’ll answer them
if I can. Your own comments will be recorded and added to the file if you wish.” The lines of symbols rose quickly to the top of the screen
and disappeared. The rapidity of turnover caused Tarhn no difficulty. He had
proven that he could scan and assimilate data at a phenomenal rate. The first few minutes of the file dealt in minute detail
with his general physiology, health, and attainments. “Any comments?” said Jerlis. “None.” “Sure?” said Jerlis as she sensed the stifled laughter in
his voice. Tarhn laughed openly. “With the exercise, food, and healing
talent, I’d be shocked if I were anything but an ‘exemplary specimen.’” “Not shocked. Just out in the field working your nonexistent
tail off.” Next on the screen came the section which Tarhn
dreaded—psychic profile. The symbols were complex, finally giving way to
charts, diagrams, statistics, formulae, and verbal summation. Tarhn read the
words with apparent dispassion. “Initially, subject displayed symptoms of psychic distress,
manifested in physiology as high blood pressure, pH imbalance, acute muscular
tension—” The list continued, even down to a hologram depicting the reduced
oxygen flow to the brain due to vascular constriction. The conclusion however,
held Tarhn’s attention. “These symptoms no longer persist, though whether this is
due to resolution of psychic conflict or to conscious manipulation of
physiology cannot be determined. It should be noted that if the latter is
correct, the drain on mental and physical prowess would be considerable.
Subject’s profile shows no small amount of prowess, but this cannot be taken as
unobjectionable proof of psychic integration, as the subject’s mental potential
was measured only after psychic distress was ascertained. We therefore have no
true measure of subject’s undistressed potential. Nonetheless, we recommend
that subject be admitted into the Carifil.” Tarhn sighed quietly. He’d made it. “Any comments?” “Just a question. Does it make any real difference why my
symptoms disappeared?” “Of course. Part of your training is to integrate all levels
of mind. When this is accomplished, a person with, say, apparently ‘normal’
potential can raise himself several mental levels to his true or integrated
potential. Also, the unintegrated personality, no matter how brilliant, is
psychically inflexible and therefore vulnerable. In our type of life, that can
be fatal. But don’t worry; the odds are with you—you’d be our first unintegrated
seven.” Tarhn smiled but said nothing. “And if you’re worried about your—overall stress rating, don’t.
Every living mind is ‘distressed’ by certain circumstances. What matters is
degree and ability to cope. You’re doing well on both counts. If you weren’t,
it would have shown up during the flexibility simulations we put you through.” Tarhn nodded, but his relief was not undiluted. Beneath the
resilient layers which rationality, experience, and training had gently woven
over the past, he sensed a fetid ugliness. But he ignored the uncomfortable intuition
as he had all similar ones, and it became yet another barrier to full
integration, another manipulation that would drain his strength. SINGER Tarhn sat on a grassy hillock, his posture one of ease and
pleasure. Above him the slakes floated and chased one another through moist,
spring-scented winds. Close to the ground the winds became a breeze sighing
over silver foliage, lifting Tarhn’s blue-black hair playfully. Tarhn savored
the moment, then reluctantly began the exercises which would allow his mind to
be free. At first it was an effort to block out the seductive
movements of spring, but gradually he felt a distinct floating sensation which
was the first sign of the body loosening its hold on the mind. What he sought
was not the absolute severing of mind-body ties, that was death, but the
reshaping of those bonds into a strong yet light connective filament of
awareness which could reach beyond and around the rainbow sky, surging colors
bursting over his mind, dividing into three separate strands of russet, blue,
and gold. The gold pulsed with eerie beauty, beckoning vivid blue, teasing the
warmth of russet. Blue wavered, touched, joined, and became gold, only
to have gold explode into burning blue, burning, burning— A voiceless cry of danger and regret seared Tarhn’s questing
mind. The cry was from Daveen and not meant for Tarhn, but he received its
freight of fear, anguish, and love ... followed by the emptiness of deep unconsciousness
or death. With the feral swiftness of a hunter, Tarhn leaped to his
feet and raced for the compound. He sharply curbed his mind, that none of his
fears for Daveen would touch Jerlis. He could be wrong. He must be wrong. His mind had barely
begun training. A mistake. Yes. Surely. Daveen was safe and well, soon to
control the immense power of the Accesses. But when he saw Jerlis, Tarhn knew he was not mistaken. Her
very air of immaculate control told him some-tiling was wrong. “So, you felt it, too,” she said in a low voice. Tarhn nodded. “Did it seem he died?” “I’m not sure.” “Then we search,” she said quietly, handing him a psitran. Within minutes the search for Daveen spanned the galaxy as
mind after mind was alerted to the emergency. Had Tarhn the training, he could
have become a part of that transcendent, psi-linked search, but his unwillingness
to open the third level of mind relegated him to message carrier. Yet even as mere messenger, Tarhn’s flesh crept as he sensed
the scintillant power of meshed Galactic minds. Tarhn knew the search was over when Jerlis wearily removed
her psitran. Yet her face gave no hint as to whether Daveen was alive or dead. *He is both.* Jerlis’ thought had the emotional neutrality of exhaustion.
More for herself than for Tarhn, her thoughts continued. *His mind pattern lives, but in altered form. What he knew
of the galaxy is almost gone. He is newly born, and the planet of his creators
shall be his home.* Thoughts splintered on exhaustion, sending fragments of what
had happened into Tarhn’s waiting mind. Daveen orbiting Chanson to renew contact with the Singers.
Fusion drive erratic. Accident? Sabotage? Kretan? Singers? Irrelevant. Daveen’s
senses warned him seconds before the drive went critical. Lifecraft partially
disabled in explosion. Injury. Looping, bucketing dive ending in crash on
Chanson. Nothing. Singers. Singers golden in his mind, gentle, asking. And
they healed him body and mind, after their own fashion. SINGER “What did Daveen say?” said Tarhn. “Kretan gave in! Daveen will determine Access policy. No
more chattel contracts. He was given Wilderness and seven other sun systems,
plus ownership of over two thousand corporations on three hundred different
planets. And all the back profits due him will be—” “Hold up,” laughed Tarhn. “I think I get the point. He’s now
one of the richest persons in the galaxy, Kretan was kicked solidly in the ass,
and evil’s golden eyes no longer look at our galaxy.” Jerlis smiled, then looked thoughtfully at him. “ “That’s very interesting, Tarhn.” “What is?” “You associate the color gold with evil.” Tarhn smiled to conceal sudden uneasiness. “Hangover from my svarl-hunting years. What else did Daveen
say?” “Well, he won’t actually control Access Unlimited for a
year. The Deliberators felt that a sudden change might, bring social and
economic trauma.” Tarhn nodded, but his eyes were far away. Jerlis waited,
then sent a careful thought. *Is anything wrong?* Though the thought was questioning, the feeling which surrounded
it was a desire to aid rather than to pry. Though Tarhn rarely allowed his own
emotion to enter mindspeech, Jerlis invariably opened the second level of her
mind to him. For a moment Tarhn was tempted to see whether he could invite
Jerlis to share his emotions without her discovering all of what he felt. The
temptation shamed and confused him, for he didn’t even know what he wanted to
conceal from her. Perhaps— Suddenly Jerlis was inundated by a flood of emotion from
Tarhn. Shame and confusion foamed at the crest, but the wave itself was composed
of an intense, nearly obsessive desire to comb evil and its attendant miseries
from the countless stars of the galaxy. The motion had the burning clarity of
laser light, startling in its purity. It was also a child’s emotion; total, beautiful, and
tragicomic in its innocence. Jerlis reached out in understanding, and for the first time
knowingly went beyond the outer fringes of Tarhn’s mind. What she felt there
was shocking. The mind which had conceived a hatred of evil was itself hard,
savage, bitter, a place without comfort or rest or compassion. Jerlis wept silently as her mind soothed and warmed his. SINGER N’Lete and Bithe rode atop pack animals piled high with
svarl pelts. Tarhn swung easily to the rhythm of his own riding beast. The
orange sun gleamed coldly on the stock of his lasrifle. *Well done, you lazy slakes,* thought Tarhn affectionately. For once he hadn’t directed his feelings toward n’Lete
alone. And both slakes returned his affection eagerly. Tarhn laughed at himself as he remembered how he’d hesitated
to use n’Lete for svarl hunting. His fear that the golden killers would get n’Lete,
too, had proved baseless. The svarl had no natural predators, and man hadn’t
hunted them extensively enough to make them unduly wary. The slakes would swoop
down on an unsuspecting svarl and nearly immobilize it with their venom. Then
Tarhn would send the slakes away until he’d managed to finish off the svarl.
That had all been before he had his own lasrifle. Within months after he had
made the decision to use the slakes, Dnorie had been repaid the Waif Fee, plus
food pelts. His pelt wealth grew enough to buy a lasrifle, so that the slakes
no longer risked death for their friend. Tarhn looked back at the heaped, gleaming pelts, but the
usual surge of satisfaction was gone. Each year that he hunted the svarl, their
death brought less surcease to the hot, nameless gnawing in his mind. After four years he knew that svarl were only svarl. Tarhn’s frustration transmitted itself to the slakes. But it
was Bithe, rather than n’Lete, who launched himself from the pelts onto Tarhn’s
shoulder. The slake’s tongue sucked in a tentative caress on Tarhn’s neck. If
Tarhn had been prey, that same tubular tongue would have followed the entry
wounds of teeth to a major blood vessel. But Tarhn was a friend and the tongue
was meant as a gesture of friendship. When Tarhn arranged Bithe’s coils more comfortably around
his shoulders, Bithe knew that his overture had been accepted. His tongue
frisked over Tarhn’s ear and under his chin, tickling Tarhn until he laughed
and caught Bithe’s darting head. *Enough, Bithe. Do you want me to fall off from laughter?* Bithe snuggled against Tarhn’s grasp, basking in the unexpected
warmth of Tarhn’s affection. *Ah, Bithe. I’ve been unfair too long. N’Lete made a good
choice in mate.” He smoothed the resilient, folded planes of Bithe’s wing. *Though
of unknown genes, you, too, like to touch and be touched. I’ll be more
even-handed in the future, if n’Lete will let me.* N’Lete opened her electric blue eyes as Tarhn looked back at
her, then stretched her wings and fell back asleep. Tarhn laughed and disturbed her no more. Soon they would be
leaving the high, open plateau and n’Lete would be needed to reconnoiter. Only
once had bandits thought Tarhn easy prey. Whether the bandits had died by slake
venom or lasrifle was a hotly argued point among svarl hunters, for the bodies
bore marks of both. The debate, however, was academic. All hunters treated
Tarhn and the slakes with equal respect. Tarhn shifted Bithe’s coils minutely, carefully concealing
his own returning malaise. The slakes were so kerden sensitive to his moods
that he had had to train himself not to reveal the incessant gnawing in his
mind. He had hoped that the successful hunt would bring relief. Fifty svarl: an
impossible number within the time limit given. Mama Firk had smiled strangely
when she’d placed the order. Fifty svarl in thirty planet days. It’s a test,
boy, to see whether you’re as good as my men claim. If you are, I’ll send you
to some friends I have, powerful friends .... Well, he’d been better. Most hunters were pleased to take
one svarl in a week. The very best hunters sometimes might take two. By finding
and killing two svarl a day, every day, he’d done something which would be a legend. But the successful hunt was a bad taste in his mind. The monotonous
killing and skinning, killing and skinning, dragged on him more than the
physical labor ever could. Tarhn writhed deep within himself as unacknowledged memories
of golden death burned relentlessly. SINGER Cold sharp wind blowing over miles of geometric landscape. A
flash of gold between the rugged red rocks of Feldenshold’s back country. Without thought or pause, Tarhn snatched the lasrifle from
Dnorie’s rough hand. Before the startled woman could recover, a quiet lethal
beam of energy felled the fleeing svarl. “Not bad, halfling,” Dnorie said grudgingly. “But the next
time you take my lase I’ll peel your dirty hide for bait.” Tarhn ignored her threat. Though only twelve, his body was
nearly a match for any other, including the Monsen hunter who stood next to
him. Experience, however, was clearly on her side. They glanced at the bottom of the rocky slope where the
svarl lay. Light glanced off the spun gold fur, imitating the movements of life.
But both knew better; he had killed it with a shot any hunter could brag on. “That’s one for you, even though you used my lase. Now you
only owe me ten more, plus one for every month I feed you.” “How can I hunt svarl without a lasrifle?” demanded Tarhn. “That’s your trail, halfling. Read it any way you like.” Tarhn stemmed his rising rage by signaling the slakes to
feed. He knew that their blood-sucking made Dnorie uneasy. But frustration
still simmered as he slid down the rocky slope to view his kill. Dnorie gave
him no time to set traps—and even if she did it would take a year or more just
to pay off the contract. Not to mention the wild fee of one pelt for a month’s
food. In fact, the years since he had come to Feldenshold had been a series of
senseless limitations and humiliations. His servant had been robbed and killed
not long after they arrived, leaving him to find his own way through the crude
and violent frontier towns of Feldenshold. The Waif Station had doled out
meager allotments of food and shelter until it was decided that he had learned
enough pig Galactic to be indentured. Dnorie was one of the many people who
prodded and paraded him, but she was the only one who thought him worth the
Waif Fee. Five svarl pelts, b grade or above, to repay the Fee. Six
months’ training in svarl hunting, One dead svarl. Ten more owing, until next
month, then eleven, then twelve, then— Tarhn shrugged off his complaints. Since the first time he
had seen a holocube of a svarl, he’d been obsessed with the idea of killing
them. Dnorie was an expensive means to that end. Tarhn’s mood lifted as he reached the dead svarl. A strange
exultation shook him as he saw its yellow eyes glazed and dull with death.
Eight hundred pounds of golden killer would never move again. No more would
this svarl bring unsuspected, hideous death. No more would this svarl stalk
gracefully across the frigid rim-rocks of Feldenshold. No more— Skin it. Dnorie’s matter of fact order punctured Tarhn’s excitement.
He drew his long knife, and with the ease and economy of a professional he
began to prepare the svarl for skinning. SINGER Clereth had discovered the broken sculpture. Without a word
she got the blindfold and wrist ties. “Just because you’re a Conditional Helix, you think everyone
else is a worthless bithe to be ignored,” hissed Clereth as she tied her son’s
wrists behind his back and blindfolded him. “It was my planning, my genes, my
training that made you what you are. And you will respect me!” Rage and fear fought within him as she left him alone in darkness
which even his night sight could not penetrate. He screamed his fear, then his
hatred. With all the strength ten years had given him he hated and fought and
hated, hated, until exhaustion slumped his body to the floor. In the absolute
darkness the sound of his own helpless panting terrified him afresh. He held
his breath to stop the sound. A rapid clicking noise was heard even above the roaring
blood in his ears. N’Lete! Clereth had forgotten to close the window and n’Lete
had come to him. Sobbing very quietly, Tarhn lowered his cheek against the cold
floor, no longer alone. A slower series of clicks startled Tarhn. N’Lete was still;
what other slake moved over the floor? When n’Lete coiled her body to make room
for the stranger, Tarhn understood. It must be the wild slake he called
Bithe—lowborn. N’Lete would loll any other slake which touched her. With a sigh, Tarhn relaxed and waited for his mother to
release him. Tonight was the Gathering of Genocrats. Even if she wanted to, she
couldn’t keep a future First Helix away. As he had expected, Clereth waited as long as possible
before releasing him. She neither spoke nor looked at Tarhn during the short
flight to the Hall of Genocrats. When the flyer touched down Clereth moved into
the crowd without a backward look. With the slakes riding his shoulders, he
scrambled down the steep, narrow steps of the flyer and into the crowd. Were it
not for the hissing, wingspread slakes he would have been late. But the crowd
parted hastily before the dangerous slakes, allowing him to reach his own seat
next to Clereth just as Flerhan, the reigning First Helix, was beginning her
speech. The words were nearly unintelligible to Tarhn. Clereth spoke
mostly in the command dialect, and while the words were the same as those of
ordinary conversation, the inflection was very different. The last sentence, however,
was in the command accent; he understood it easily. “Listen well. Decide well. We judge a race’s fitness to
enter the Galactic Concord.” Electric blue lights pulsed rapidly, signaling the end of
the speech. Tarhn’s eyes strained to cope with the changing brightness. When he
could see clearly again, an alien stood where the First Helix had been. Tarhn looked once, then sighed with boredom. The Singer
looked too much like a pale yellow Tau to be exciting. Then he flicked on the
chair screen and his interest quickened. Golden eyes, brilliant. He stared at
the alien eyes, fascinated by their depth and color. Surely no Tau ever had
such eyes. Even the strangers who came through the Accesses did not have such
eyes. The lips on the screen parted and a low, sweet melody sprang
into being. No devices amplified or modified the Singer’s voice, and none was
needed. The huge hall quivered with strange music. Tarhn relaxed, hands loose in his lap, fingers quiet for the
first time. Two voices sang where only one had sung before, but he did not
think it strange. He closed his eyes and sank into the brilliant mist of music,
each note a separate drop of wonder which brushed his skin and dissolved into
his mind. But the cool mist became blistering acid. A soundless scream
of pain stiffened him, only to be erased by the pulsing colors of knowledge
elusive, scattered, reborn as faces, Clereth’s face, distorted by agony beyond
his understanding. A vivid stream of empathy became a cataract of grief, remorse,
and self-hatred which could not be contained by life. Then nothing except the song telling him (no) SINGER Cool mist and acid screaming, erased. Colors unwanted. Clereth
agony, remorse, hatred. Song telling no SINGER Screaming erased colors. Clereth agony. Song telling ... no. SINGER Screaming Clereth. Song. No. SINGER No! SINGER No! Jerlis flexed her aching body. So close, close. Not enough.
She/Tarhn tension increasing. Allform couch struggling to relax her. No. Tarhn.
Tarhn was separate. Biomonitor showing massive stress responses. Jerlis watched and felt, still in the dual world of
integration where she and Tarhn were almost one. When his body relaxed
completely, she knew/felt that it was an act, the same act which had limited
his potential for all those futile years, wasted. “I failed you, Tarhn. Your training ... you’re supposed to
be integrated at least down to the fourth level, because—” “—only then can the mind be free for total development,” finished
Tarhn bitterly. “And because I am a seven we all knew I was an integrated
personality. That’s so much slakeshit. There are as many pieces in my mind as
there are planets in a solar system.” *What is your sun, Tarhn,* thought Jerlis persuasively,
aiming deep into his mind with all the strength and skill she commanded. *Sun, flaming center of life. So many suns, gleaming red,
flaring gold ... gold, twin flares of gold that are really Tau blue—* Abruptly Tarhn’s mind shut in upon itself, leaving Jerlis
with barely a thread of contact, but it was enough. A film of sweat covered
Tarhn’s skin, but it was cold to her touch. She swore bitterly as her hands and
mind worked over him. She knew that his withdrawal reaction was panic; she could
feel the coldness of it seeping into her mind. But such panic could only come
from an inflexible mind confronted with a situation which threatened the mind’s
entire world view. The part of her that was Jerlis aloof rejected such panic as
impossible. The part of her mind that was his laughed hollowly, warningly. A lethal bolt of hatred seared Jerlis in the microinstant
before her defenses closed. Tarhn or something that was part of Tarhn had
surfaced. She waited until she sensed that he was once again in control of
himself. “Did you find your sun?” she said mildly. When no blazing hatred met her question, Jerlis relaxed her
defenses. Immediately a rich mixture of anger, regret, and indelible fear
flowed from Tarhn to her. The contact went beyond the conversational level to
the second and third, instantly telling Jerlis of the spinning chaos of his
emotions and needs. She gathered Tarhn like a child against her, held him until
the convulsive shudders of mind and body subsided. *What was it, Tarhn; what did the Singer tell you?* Jerlis’ compassionate thought found no answer, for Tarhn had
none. Nor did he wish one. Both knew that she had done as much as he would
allow, that only one other mind could do more, and that he would die before he
accepted another Singer into his mind. V*Tarhn.* It was Jerlis. Tarhn called the slakes from their soaring
and returned to the compound. In the days since integration he had become
calmer, definitely more in control. But he worried about Jerlis. She had been
so tired after trying, and so depressed at what she called her failure. *Jerlis?* *We’re in the sky room.* Tarhn settled the slakes more firmly about his shoulders and
went up to the sky room. Dachen began speaking the moment the door hissed shut. “I’m convinced of one thing, Tarhn. You hate the Singers.
The fact of hate is unimportant for now. I want to know why you hate.” Dachen lifted his hand abruptly to cut off Tarhn’s words. “The reasons of a frightened child are not good enough for a
man of your mental ability; they sure as shit don’t impress me.” “Would you prefer I love her—as Iandrel seems to?” “Jealous?” shot back Dachen. “No,” said Tarhn neutrally. “Were it anyone but Lyra I would
be pleased; since Meraile was killed Iandrel has walked in grief.” Jerlis made a startled sound. “Were you there when Lyra met Iandrel?” “No. Why?” “Lyra took one look at him and said, ‘You walk in grief.’
Then she apologized for speaking truth to a stranger, saying it was a breach of
Courtesy—” “What did Iandrel say?” asked Dachen curiously. “He asked her whether she spoke truth to strangers on Chanson.” “And?” “She said there were neither lies nor strangers on Chanson.” Dachen sensed there was more, but Jerlis seemed reluctant. “Go on,” he said finally. Jerlis looked apprehensively at Tarhn. “Don’t worry, little mother,” he said gently. “I’ll not
explode again, thanks to your help.” Jerlis sighed. “I’ll warn you, Dachen, what Lyra said will
only confuse you more. Iandrel told her that he would be her teacher while she
was on Centrex, unless his sadness harmed her.” “Is she vulnerable to just anyone’s emotions?” asked Tarhn,
surprised in spite of himself. “Yes,” said Jerlis slowly, “but only to a degree. She said
that his mind was strong and deep, but only partially compatible with hers.
Then, as though it explained everything, she added, “I’m sure your grief will
neither destroy nor create me. I have experienced it before. After those
Singers who visited the galaxy dispersed, their complements quickly followed.
All but one, my mother’s mother. As one of the few surviving starsingers, her
talents were needed. She delayed the finality of dispersion that she might
serve those who needed life. Her aura was much like yours.’” Dachen sat silently for a moment with the air of one who is
sorting and filing facts in hope of future correlation. At last he said, “Dispersion?
Not just death?” “Yes.” Dachen frowned, then turned back to Tarhn. “We’ve found that
while hatred can sometimes force mental development, the results are considerably
less than they would have been in the absence of hatred. You’re no different.
And even if you could stretch your mind so that you could control or have
revenge upon the Singers, what do you do afterwards?” “Stop hating.” “Never,” said Dachen flatly. “As long as you don’t know why
you really hate, hatred will rule you. The Singers feed your hatred now.
Without them, hatred would be hungry; it must be fed. If not by the Singers,
then by its host. You.” Jerlis waited tautly for Tarhn’s response. It was a long
time in coming. “How much time can the Carifil give me?” he said quietly. “If it were only us,” said Dachen, “all eternity. You’re
omega, Tarhn, one of those minds we search and pray for and so rarely find. But
the Carifil aren’t the only ones waiting. Elenda believes the Singers also
wait.” “For what?” said Tarhn and Jerlis together. Dachen shrugged. “She doesn’t know. Yet when a nine has a
hunch, we kerden well pay attention! Quite simply, Tarhn, you have as much time
as circumstances and the Singers give you. Are you really in control?” “More than ever,” he said firmly. “I hope that’s good enough. I’m no seer, but my waking
dreams have been vivid and uncomfortable.” Tarhn didn’t press; if Dachen had anything helpful, it
wouldn’t be kept secret. Tarhn stroked the slakes absently, knowing that the
tension radiating from Dachen was disturbing them. When they would not be calm,
he shooed them off the balcony. He watched their long vivid bodies shrink to
indigo dots before he turned back to the room. “Do you trust me enough to let me continue as Lyra’s guard?” “Trust? Irrelevant. You’re our best hope of controlling the
situation.” “And,” added Jerlis, “of understanding the Singers. You have
had more experience with her than any of us.” “Iandrel?” said Tarhn. “Not the same,” said Jerlis. “Their minds are compatible
enough for good friendship, good sex. But they are far from complements and
they both know it. Very much like you and Jasilyn.” Tarhn smiled crookedly as Jerlis hurried out of the room to
answer an unheard summons. Then he turned back to Dachen. “Will Iandrel let me
observe Lyra through him? Lyra won’t act normally if she senses me near.” “What’s normal for a Singer?” said Dachen. Tarhn’s hand moved impatiently. “You’ve heard my ideas on
that.” “At length,” agreed Dachen. “The fact remains that we need
knowledge we can all agree on, and quickly. Iandrel’s been with her, but he has
learned nothing useful. Not his failure—we decided Lyra needed quiet time after
Wilderness. And you. Right now, though, if you’re really in control, I might
chance a confrontation between you two.” Tarhn frowned, then spoke slowly, carefully. “Jerlis considers my integration a failure. I don’t. What happened
afterwards ... convinced me that my view of the Singers is biased by deep emotions.
I’m not so bloodthirsty now as I was then. Nor am I a convert. I’m skeptical of
the Singers and of myself in relation to them.” Dachen smiled widely. “Good. If the Singers fool us in spite
of our efforts, that’s life. If we fool ourselves, that’s stupidity. Now, Iandrel’s
been mindlinked with Lyra to as great a degree as is possible for them. He
found neither danger nor difficulty in the link. In truth, he found as much
pleasure as in a similar link with a Carifil. But he did sense ... loss or urgency
or pressure, and found she had had little experience in coping with them. That’s
why I’m reluctant to—” Dachen’s head lifted in an attitude of attentiveness. Tarhn
waited without comment, knowing his friend was listening to a silent message.
Within seconds, Dachen began and ended a searing monologue in his native
tongue. Tarhn didn’t know the exact translation, nor did he want to. “Critical mass,” said Dachen in Galactic. “Kretan knows the
Carifil have Lyra. Instead of trying to save the Singers, he’s forcing a full
Assembly hearing.” “When?” “Five Centrex days. That vindictive, zarfsucking—” Dachen
reverted to the language of Rynlonne again. “But she’s his path to the Supreme Helix,” said Tarhn. “No
Tau would kill his children’s future.” “Oh?” said Dachen sardonically. “Well, maybe he’s just trying
to force us to return Lyra to Chanson, hoping he can grab her somewhere off Centrex
again. But I wouldn’t bet a cold turd on it. Kretan will kill whatever is necessary
to keep the controlling interest in AU out of Carifil hands.” “Elenda’s sure he wants death for the Singers?” “Yes.” Tarhn watched Dachen’s thin, strong legs devour the room in
three long strides. He didn’t share the Rynlon’s anguish at the Singers’
probable fate, but Tarhn disliked seeing his friend suffer. “We have five days,” began Tarhn. “That’s kerden little time
to save a race of people. Or ourselves,” he added in a muttered afterthought. “Then let’s question the Singer we have.” “Lyra?” “She’s the only Singer I know of off Plague,” said Tarhn
dryly. “She’s also under enough pressure to break seven mindlinked
Carifil. Can you imagine being the sole spokesman at the death trial of your
own race? Our hostile interrogation won’t help her.” “She seems cool enough.” “You haven’t touched her mind lately,” said Dachen succinctly.
“And the lines around her mouth—do you remember seeing them before you knew she
was a Singer?” Tarhn gestured ambiguously; he thought as little as possible
about the time before he knew what Lyra really was. “Then think about it, my thick-skulled Tau. What happens to
us if Lyra breaks? We might as well hand her, and the galaxy, over to your
fanatic uncle now and save her a lot of suffering.” Tarhn felt Dachen’s orange eyes weigh him, sensed his friend’s
strange mixture of bafflement and anger and compassion. “I’ve failed you,” said Tarhn. “I don’t give a zarf’s crusted ass who failed or didn’t
fail!” thundered Dachen. Then, more quietly. “All that was yesterday; we’re
living now. Now! Most of us want to live all our tomorrows, too. So we’ll talk
to Lyra as a group. If that doesn’t help the Singers’ case materially .... I
don’t know, Tarhn. I don’t know. She’s asked to leave Centrex. Why shouldn’t we
let her? Why should we force her to spend her last days of life with the excruciating
torture of being hated at close range by the man who is her complement?” Tarhn felt anger surge, but realized it was futile. Dachen
was right. “Then I’ll leave,” said Tarhn quietly. “No. Not until ...” “Until what? Do you want her to break?” ‘“I haven’t given up hope of a ... solution between you two,”
said Dachen slowly. “If Lyra can take it, so can I.” He looked at Tarhn curiously.
“Don’t you want—” “No,” said Tarhn quickly, too quickly. “Perhaps if Elenda and I shared our unity with you, then you
would know what waits for you in Lyra.” “I know what waits,” Tarhn said thickly. “Death.” “Did it seem like death before you knew she was a Singer?” Unbidden memories of Lyra and himself, of their minds and
bodies joined in a life so consuming it was indeed like death, the special
death of gods that rise from the ashes renewed, revitalized, reborn in the
rhythms of ecstasy— *Forgive me, my brother. I had no right to ask.* Tarhn felt
Dachen’s gentle-sad thought, drew a ragged breath, forced the sweet fire of
memories to abate. “The others are coming,” said Dachen suddenly. “Lyra?” ‘In the library. If the others agree, she’ll join us.” Soon Elenda, Jasilyn, and Iandrel and Jerlis came into the
room, closely followed by Fiodor and Koto. Iandrel looked around and smiled
without humor. “Look at us, grouped together in the flesh like savages
afraid of the dark.” “I don’t know about you,” said Jasilyn with a slow smile, “but
I link much better in the flesh.” Iandrel laughed and bowed to her. “I’ve never won an argument
with you yet.” Jasilyn leaned lightly against him and whispered, “That’s because
you only use your mind.” Jerlis laughed. “Jasilyn, you’re shameless.” “Of course,” said Jasilyn serenely. Tarhn joined the general
laughter as Jasilyn led Iandrel to a double couch, her body rippling with
exaggerated provocation. But by the time Elenda finished outlining the problem,
the last echo of laughter was forgotten. “A Singer brief in five days?” said Iandrel incredulously. “We
don’t know enough to say spit to a svarl, much less to convince the Assembly
that the Singers are harmless.” “We don’t know that they are harmless,” said Tarhn. “Lyra’s no killer,” Iandrel said flatly. “I doubt that she’d
kill even in self-defense. Look at Wilderness.” “Have you learned anything which would sway the Assembly?”
said Elenda. “Lyra is ... well, Lyra. She’s extremely sophisticated in
the generally constructive emotions of man—friendship, love, completion, and
the like. She’s utterly naive about hatred, greed, jealousy, cruelty, and all
the other mainly destructive emotions of man. You could say that she is
uniquely ‘good’ or you could say she is only half-human—whichever would help
the Singers in the Assembly vote.” “Did she sing for you?” said Tarhn. “No. You know she was forbidden to sing as a condition of
leaving Chanson.” Tarhn’s silence eloquently pointed out that edict or no,
Lyra had sung on Wilderness. “Would you be willing to hear her sing?” said Elenda. “Delighted,” answered Iandrel immediately. “It may come to that—for all of us,” said Elenda. “Anything
else to add before we go to the source?” Silence. Tarhn shifted to a more comfortable position while they
waited for Lyra to arrive. Only Jerlis noticed that more comfortable meant
having a wall at his back. He was grateful that she said nothing with either
tongue or mind. Even with his back guarded, Tarhn was unprepared for his own
reactions when Lyra hesitated at the entrance to the room. He saw her as
piercingly beautiful, a flawless amber sculpture, rich with lambent mystery. “By the sacred bone,” said Jasilyn into the spreading
silence. “Why has Tarhn been wasting his time with me!” With her words, Jasilyn sent Tarhn a blurred feeling of
rowdy, laughing sex. “That’s not a waste of time,” said Lyra distinctly, sadly. Jasilyn’s surprise at having her thought intercepted gave
way to laughter. “No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “Surprised you think so though.” Tarhn wasn’t, but he kept that fact to himself. Lyra smiled fleetingly, then said to no one and everyone, “I
will be pleased to talk about my people, my Singers ... but could we first talk
about Galactic culture?” Tarhn moved restlessly, then felt a casual, calming thought
from Jerlis. “What’ll it be?” said Iandrel. “History of Galactic gene
pools? Trans-time physics? Trans-light cellular—” Lyra’s laughter deepened into rich music, then she became
suddenly serious. “There’s so much I don’t know.” “You know the basics—compassion, honesty, love.” Lyra shook her head slowly. “That’s not enough, is it? Not out here. Talk to me about hatred,
Iandrel. I’ve read the many definitions in your library. Not enough.
Intellectual knowledge is only half-truth until it’s integrated with emotional
experience.” “Surely you felt Tarhn’s hatred.” Tarhn winced at the anger in Iandrel’s mind. Lyra also winced,
but for a different reason. “Yes, I felt it. As little as possible.” Iandrel started to ask Lyra if she had ever hated anything,
then showed his intelligence by approaching the question from a different door. “Have you ever not loved anything?” “Of course. I separate liking, companionship, complements,
and the many other feelings in between which Galactic has no words for.” Iandrel tried again ... “If you don’t like, love, and so forth, how do you feel?” “I feel nothing,” she said simply. Iandrel silently queried Tarhn. *She never returned my hatred,* admitted Tarhn. *Where others
would have, she just went null.* Iandrel sat lost in thought, fingers idly playing with a
bowl of polished pebbles on the table next to him. The pebbles shone in subtle
grey shades punctuated by occasional startling white and deep black. He chose
five pebbles shone in subtle gray shades punctuated by oc— “Now,” said Iandrel, pulling the table around in front of
Lyra. “We’ll call this pebble the relationship of complements.” He set the smooth white stone on the table, feeling the
weight not only of Lyra’s attention, but the minute and patient scrutiny of
Carifil minds. He concentrated only on Lyra as he placed a cream-colored stone
next to the white one. “This is love-friendship-like.” To the immediate silent objections of his friends, Iandrel
said, “I know, I know. They aren’t the same thing, but I’d have to spend the
rest of the afternoon picking pebbles if I showed all the gradations of human
emotion.” Lyra hesitated, then made a gesture which meant proceed, I reserve
judgment. Iandrel put a light gray stone near the cream-colored one. “This,” he said, tapping the stone lightly, “is neutral or
no emotion.” He looked at the three stones reflectively, then at Lyra. “Apparently,
this is the complete spectrum of your emotions. Now, let me show you how the
rest of the races of man feel.” A slate gray stone dropped into line. “Dislike,” said Iandrel shortly. “A moderately strong
feeling. It results in arguments, discomfort, general malaise. And this,” he
said, holding a black stone in his palm, “is hatred. It results in violence,
agony, destruction. It is one of the two keys to the mind of man.” The bitterness in Iandrel’s voice made Lyra’s nerves leap. “Space is black,” she said softly, “yet it doesn’t hate.” With a weary gesture Iandrel scrambled the pebbles; they
clicked loudly in the silence. “The colors are symbolic rather than definitive,” said
Jerlis softly. “Most of the races of man see poorly at night and fear what they
cannot see. To them darkness means danger, fear, death. Light is their solace.” Lyra reached out and lined the stones up again, preserving
the sequence from white to black. “Do all people feel this spectrum?” she said, her eyes
watching Iandrel. Iandrel looked at the reassembled stones, then removed the
white one. His hand hovered over the creamy pebble for a moment; he smiled
wryly. “I should have chosen more pebbles. Most people know at
least some degree of friendship. Some even know love. All know dislike. Nearly all
know hatred.” “And none know a complement?” The surprised pain in Lyra’s voice made Iandrel pause. He
put the white stone back on the table. “A few, Lyra,” he said gently. “Very few.” Lyra stood quietly in the bated silence, then said, “I must
know more about this hatred. Can you teach me?” “I’d rather not.” “But,” said Lyra, covering all but the two darkest stones
with her hand, “I belong to the races of man. I have a cross-fertility index of
91% and a phenotype of 5 3. Yet I’m only half-human by emotional standards. How
can I ever find completion if I’m so lacking in emotion?” “Hatred obstructs completion,” said Iandrel curtly. Tarhn did not need mindtouch to know who Iandrel’s words
were directed to. “I have briefly, very briefly, touched countless minds,”
said Lyra, her eyes opaque with memories. “Always I searched for a mind which
had potential for ultimate compatibility with mine. I touched no mind with even
minimum potential except Tarhn’s.” Lyra stopped and a too familiar look of confusion on her face
rankled Tarhn. Iandrel coldly indicated that Tarhn should control himself. “At first,” continued Lyra, “I wasn’t sure that Tarhn’s
feeling toward me was hatred. I knew only that the emotion was painful,
destructive to both of us. When I named it hatred, he did not say no.” “There are countless minds you haven’t touched, Lyra,” said
Elenda. “Among them you will find completion.” “Perhaps. If I had time to search. And even then, the mind I
found would have been touched by the darker spectrum of emotions.” Tarhn felt Iandrel swearing, but refrained from making any
comment. “You see,” she said firmly, “I must know hatred in order to
find completion.” “You’re too vulnerable. Hatred will destroy you,” said
Dachen. “I’ll go slowly. Like the serum you wanted to give me before
I left Chanson; I’ll take only enough hatred to make me immune.” Iandrel’s mind belied his laughter, but in the end he
agreed. “As you wish, Lyra. Well begin the immunization with a dose
of Galactic history. Then we’ll go to the armory.” “Armory?” “Yes. Weapons are a useful measure of hatred. Or fear.” “Fear ...” “Yes. When you understand fear, you’ll have little trouble understanding
hatred.” He looked at her, then asked abruptly, “Don’t you fear Tarhn?” “I ... no. Should I?” “He can and might kill you.” Lyra said nothing, nor did her face or mind hint at her
thoughts. “Do you like the thought of dying?” said Iandrel. “If I wanted death, I would be dead. Death is but a pause,
an ingathering between lives.” “It’s not that simple,” said Iandrel, his mind and voice
haunted by memories. “Sometimes ...” “If you really wanted death, it would come,” said Lyra. “Your
mind is still divided between duty and longing, life and rebirth.” Anger flashed in Iandrel’s eyes like sun on a glacier. Tarhn
felt the thought Iandrel left unspoken: she was so completely sure of herself.
So immune. “Forgive me, Iandrel. Yours is the greater experience. I’ve
never known full completion, cannot fully empathize with its loss. I’ve known
only Singers; they are not like the other races of man.” “I suppose they’re perfect gods,” said Tarhn sarcastically. “Gods?” she said, looking swiftly at Tarhn. “Gods ... that
is another thing you must teach me about,” said Lyra, turning back to Iandrel. “Singers
have no gods and no hatreds. Are the two connected?” Iandrel laughed, then looked thoughtful. “I’ve never
considered that possibility. Perhaps.” “Perhaps it’s time to talk Singers rather than philosophies,”
said Tarhn in a clipped voice. “Let’s start with why the Singers wanted Lyra
off Chanson.” “No Singer could be my complement,” said Lyra, her voice
that incredible blend of truth and mystery and white song. “Could not or would not?” shot back Tarhn. Lyra’s amber eyes lingered over his face, making him writhe
with memories quickly buried. “Could not,” she said. “The necessary combination of genes
and experience did not exist on Chanson. Perhaps because so many starsingers
died in what you call the plague. Perhaps not; my mother, too, required a Galactic
mate.” “Did the Singers cause Daveen to crash?” Tarhn’s voice made Lyra shrink back for a moment, then she
straightened and faced him unflinchingly. “I don’t know. I do know that his genes made possible the
birth of a ... my birth.” “A what?” snapped Tarhn. “A focus.” “What does that mean, Lyra?” said Elenda before Tarhn could
continue his interrogation. “Simply that: a focus. You have no other word for what I am.” Iandrel overrode Tarhn’s caustic disagreement by saying, “How
are you different from other Singers?” “I am less vulnerable to destructive emotions.” “Less ... ?” “Far less,” said Lyra firmly. “I have walked among Galactics
for many days, yet I live.” Lyra waited, silent and poised, for the next question. When
none came, she said quietly, “I have learned much from your language. Much
could be learned from mine.” Dachen sighed. “We’re not even sure that the Singers have a
language. It sounded like singing to the contact team. Put bluntly, Lyra, we
have little reason to trust a Singer’s song.” “That is your loss.” Tarhn looked at her sharply, but said nothing. “It could be the Singers’ loss,” said Dachen. “That too,” agreed Lyra calmly. “Let Lyra tell us something simple in her own language,”
said Jasilyn suddenly. “Like what the Singers do or say when they meet each
other.” “Why that?” said Iandrel. Jasilyn grinned. “Rituals tell a lot about a culture. Take
the Qenx, for example—” “You would,” laughed Iandrel. Tarhn laughed silently; Qenx greeting rituals were the
scandal of the Concord. Lyra smiled, then said, “I’m afraid the Singers would disappoint
you, Jasilyn.” “Try me,” she answered promptly. A cascade of sound poured over them, rushing, evocative,
sung by a thousand voices serene. Tarhn fought as the room dissolved,
threatening to re-form under new knowledge, new reality. “—feel I should know what that meant,” said Dachen
wistfully. “So beautiful.” Tarhn’s mind cleared and he realized that the others had not
heard what he had, had not reacted in the same way. And the song had been only
three beats long. Only three. “Can you translate?” said Elenda. Lyra frowned as she reviewed her knowledge of Galactic. “May your thoughts/songs be the nexus/matrix of creation,”
she said slowly, then made a swift gesture of denial with her hands. “That
leaves out too much. Thoughts, to the Singers, are that-which-shapes-energy.
Creation, defined by the lower voice, means
becoming-of-intelligent-mindfriends. The higher voice praises energy as the
source of infinite potential for variety in ... intelligent life experiences.” “All that in three seconds?” yelped Jasilyn. “My translation was poor,” apologized Lyra. “I left out the—” “I’ll take your word for it,” said Jasilyn hurriedly. “Thank you,” said Lyra. “You have a question, Dachen?” “Call it a clarification. To the Singers, thought shapes
energy. Is that meant in the sense that if one does not think, one cannot
create?” Lyra gestured agreement. “But even with thought,” continued Dachen, “my direct creations
are limited to the inherent strength of my body. This room, the entire
compound, is but the indirect result of thought. Machinery sculpted the land,
erected the buildings, brought plants and animals from far planets. For us,
machines are necessary to implement many of our thoughts.” “I ... understand,” said Lyra hesitantly. “The Singers have
no machines.” “Do Singers need machines?” “No.” “Then their minds can act directly on matter; they can do as
much with unaided thought as we can do with machines. Probably more.” Tarhn literally held his breath. If Lyra admitted the
Singers’ power, she was assuring their deaths. Or was she? Dachen’s acid
comment about savages and lightships ... “I’m not sure. The shape of energy which you call the Access
is known to the Singers, yet the only off-planet trip within genetic memory was
taken by means of your machines. Perhaps they lack the people for the song
which warps space; the Singers grow fewer every year.” *So much for your population pressure theory,” thought
Jerlis to Tarhn.* *It wasn’t much of a theory. And we’re not sure she’s
telling the truth.* *She hasn’t lied yet.* Tarhn’s impatience crackled around his thought like summer
lightning. *Fine. She could be a perfectly innocent nova. The results
are the same whether innocent or guilty.* “—know why?” said Dachen. “Not yet.” Tarhn’s restlessness increased. “Question, Tarhn?” said Dachen. “Yes. Lyra says that the Singers are vulnerable to so-called
destructive emotions. How vulnerable?” Tarhn saw twin points of gold leap in the center of amber
eyes, felt a haunting echo of music though Lyra was absolutely still. When she
did speak, there was no music in her voice and her mind was as closed as his. “Any mind which complements mine can destroy me. Or create
me. Directed thoughts/emotions from many, many minds can destroy me. Or create
me.” “How?” said Dachen. “You ask me what it is to be a Singer, yet forbid me to
sing. Would you ask a slake to describe flight by walking on the ground?” Tarhn sensed a flow of thought between Dachen, Elenda, and
Jerlis. “That would be unreasonable,” agreed Dachen. “But can you sing
without hurting us?” “Of course,” said Lyra, her voice rich with surprise. “Songs
are meant for pleasure, for ... enlightening.” “I vote for pleasure,” said Jasilyn. “That way I’ll know
whether anything is lost in the translation.” “I doubt that the Singers had lust in mind,” said Dachen
dryly. “Do you consider lust undesirable?” said Lyra. “Well ... no,” Dachen said. “As long as everyone involved
knows that nothing more nor less than body pleasure is intended.” “In that, at least, Galactic and Singer are alike,” said
Lyra. “We consider lust an intense, though inherently limited pleasure. We have
many songs which celebrate sensuality. You can help me sing one of them.” “How?” “You’ll see,” smiled Lyra. Tarhn felt his body tense as Lyra’s eyes sought his. The
room lights dimmed and he knew another of those wrenching instants when he saw
himself through her half-gold eyes ... a reclining shadow figure, body rippling
with life, subtle movements reflected and increased by skin molded over flowing
muscles. “... will be volitional. That is, you’ll hear and feel only
as much as you desire,” said Lyra. Tarhn sensed the waiting gather and condense into sensuous
lips murmuring simple melody, singing without harmony, testing the response,
soothing as a smooth spring day when he had watched clouds shaped by warm
winds. And the song was a spring wind touching him, lifting black
hair and teasing naked skin into awareness. Notes poised, trembled, waited
until his sigh remembered the wind’s caress lingering, asked more. Song tumbled down, down, weaving upon itself the sensuous
texture of living velvet, surrounding him with vibrant awareness. Song touching
and cherishing every aspect of his flesh. And indrawn breath asked more. Laughter and wind and sweet velvet clinging, spiraling into
flawless duet of sensual possibility. Notes like agile tongues touching,
trilling dissonance nipping aroused flesh. Laughter rode the wind beyond sound,
returned in rhythmic waves deep with music, haunted by contralto echo’s,
distant, promising, dissolving. Tarhn opened his eyes, knew the heat and strength of passion
and the memory of Wilderness was twisting agony and need. And fury. *Half-gened bastard!* He was aware of the others brought to their feet by the
force of his thought, but they were only shadows against the incandescent
reality of Lyra. Anguish flowed, yet he couldn’t say whether its source was her
or himself, then knew it was both, that the song roused Singer and Galactic
alike. His nerves writhed as a distant cataract of song poured from a mental
wound, bleeding agony beyond his ability or wish to know. With a convulsive shudder his control returned. “An exciting song, Lyra Mara,” he said finally. “Perhaps you
have a song that would tell us why the Singers are so eager to have you mated
that they descend to pandering.” “Complemented, not mated,” said Lyra. “There is a difference
between the two states. But that doesn’t answer your question, does it? I am a
focus: complemented, we will be the channel of awesome creation; uncomplemented,
I will be the channel of immense destruction.” When they asked for an explanation, she said only, “Am I a
prisoner here?” Music flared at the edge of visibility around her, and Tarhn
was certain that the others finally saw it, heard it, felt it. “Could we prevent your leaving?” said Dachen. “No.” “Then you aren’t a prisoner.” “My people are hostage to your fear.” “If you are free,” countered Elenda, “how can they be hostage?” “My people die while we juggle words,” said Lyra harshly. Tarhn’s nerves leaped at the pain and impatience which crackled
through Lyra’s words. “What does that mean?” he demanded. Lyra turned again to face him, music flickering subtly
around her. “It means that my people have little time. I must be
completed soon, if it takes a thousand Galactics to replace one unwilling Tau!” Lyra’s eyes became golden flames; when she spoke again, it
was not to anyone in the room. He heard music redolent of regret, explaining— “You’re in contact with the Singers,” he said accusingly. “I have always been.” Jerlis exchanged swift thoughts with the others, then said, “Will
you tell us what they said?” For the first time Lyra moved restlessly, fingers dancing
over folded arms, mouth thin with unknown pressures. “They said that Tarhn is my completion; my genes were shaped
for his. To search again is futile; before I find another or others the Concord
will have slain my people. And me.” Jerlis didn’t bother to deny what could too well become
truth. “There are other things to consider before you run away,”
said Jerlis. “Your people need you.” “And I need peace. I can no longer cope with his hatred,” “Your people need you alive and free,” continued Jerlis
evenly. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler prefers you dead or captive. If you leave
Centrex we can’t guarantee your safety.” “I should have stayed with Kretan; he could have taught me
much,” Lyra said. “More than you’d want to learn,” said Iandrel quickly. “To be Tarhn, I need to learn more.” “Lyra,” said Iandrel in soothing tones, “Kretan will grab
you, take you to Lokan or a similar chattel planet, and force a marriage. You
will be his prisoner; your life and property will be his. And then he will own
the galaxy and all the people in it.” “The people are already owned by their misery.” “And Kretan’s power is the root of much of that misery,”
said Iandrel. “We’ve talked of this before, and you agreed.” “I had time before,” said Lyra. “There is no more time. Galactics
hate my people, suck from us our future. I have little reason to put Galactic hatred
before Singer love.” “You make it difficult for us to convince the Assembly that
Singers should live,” said Elenda wearily. “I am the judge of my people. Tell your Assembly this simple
truth: if Singers die we don’t die alone.” Iandrel rose and gathered Lyra’s rigid hands in his. “You’ve been under pressures we can’t imagine; it’s no surprise
you’re angry. But threats won’t make things easier for us—or for the Singers.” Hunger leaped in Tarhn as Lyra relaxed under Iandrel’s
gentle touch. He examined the odd feeling, odd because it owed little to
passion, much to a longing that his own touch could give solace rather than
pain. He stood quickly, snapping off the confusing thread of knowledge. “I’m leaving Centrex,” said Tarhn abruptly. “That will take
some of the pressure off her, let her think coherently.” “No,” said Jerlis. “You’re not ready yet.” Tarhn rubbed his hand through his hair wearily; Jerlis was
right, as usual. He was reduced to impulse and confusion. “Jerlis, I am very tired of causing pain, of being able to control
but not understand myself.” It was Lyra who answered him, fingers amber-warm on his
cheek, then gone in the instant that touching him twisted her trembling lips
with pain. “Let her go,” Tarhn said hoarsely to Jerlis. “Take her to
Be-a Mora, Iandrel; give her pleasure to equal her beauty.” “You give—” “Damn you, I can’t!” In the end, Iandrel took Lyra to Be-a Mora, the Garden of
the Galaxy, while the Carifil watched and waited and hoped. Tarhn shifted the psitran to a more comfortable position. “Ready to relay,” he said to Dachen. “Ready to receive. Go.” Tarhn rode Iandrel’s mind as he and Lyra mingled with the
gentle swirls and eddies of people rapt with the day’s pleasure. Iandrel
unobtrusively guided her through colorful drifts of laughter. Even after three
days of Be-a Mora’s golden sun gleaming with undiminished grace on the creamy
walls of the city, Lyra was still less than serene. There was little peace in
the amber eyes that measured the buildings that rose in a dreamy cubist wave,
cresting on flowered bluffs overhanging the jade waters of the river Linverale.
A sensuous veil of spice-flower rose from the boundaries. of the large park Iandrel
had just entered. Tarhn felt Iandrel’s mind leap to full alertness. *Trouble?* Iandrel hesitated, then thought, *Not sure. Can you mesh
with Lyra—without hurting her?* Tarhn hoped his tumult of emotion didn’t leak to Iandrel. *If I must.* “Lyra,” Iandrel said clearly. “I want you to allow Tarhn
into your awareness. Don’t go into his mind; just permit him into the outer
levels of yours.” Perhaps she sensed, the urgency building in Iandrel as Tarhn
did, for-she didn’t object. Tarhn’s mind reached out tentatively, touched, held, merged
at the edge of Lyra’s awareness. The only difficulty was in not going further;
her mind called to him irresistibly. *Deeper.* Iandrel’s thought vibrated with urgency. Tarhn struggled with himself for a minute, then forced his rebelling
emotions deep into his own mind where they couldn’t touch and burn Lyra. A scented amber mist caressed him ... Lyra. Her mind like Sorsanna
sculpture ... translucent, smooth, flowing into iridescent rainbows of emotion,
luminous depths of intelligence, mysterious, compelling. He sifted more deeply into her mind with a gentle care that Iandrel
admired. *Perfect. Now withdraw.* Iandrel’s matter-of-fact command brought Tarhn crashing into
a present where the submerged part of himself trembled near revolt. He withdrew
quickly, yet with strange reluctance. Iandrel deftly excluded Lyra from the link. *Be ready to mesh like that again without warning. Her life
is yours, Carifil.* Tarhn was shocked at the change in Iandrel; in a breath his
gentle warmth had metamorphosed into a cold, polished, and deadly mind. *We’re being followed by at least four men. They’re under
some type of mind drug, probably stukor.* *Kretan’s trademark,* thought Tarhn bitterly. *Probably. I can’t break the drug’s compulsion.* *Which is ... ?* *Lift Lyra to one of the large estates on this planet. None
of them thought of the estate by name. This is their image of the place.* Tarhn looked upon miles of empty forests bisected by a nacreous
road leading to a huge compound. The main house, and the wall which surrounded
it, was a fantastic amalgamation of red turrets alternating with turquoise
arches and, triangular gold blocks. *Helix, but it’s ugly.* *Granted,* returned Iandrel, dryly, *but such monstrous
taste ought to be easily located. Get the Be-a Moran Carifil on it. My next
contact with them isn’t for an hour. I want Lyra to have friends on hand if the
guards succeed in getting her there. And tell the agents to be ready to kill.
The guards gave the impression of being armed. In any case, they are
compelled to kill anyone with Lyra,* *How much time do we have?* *None. They’re surrounding us.* *Dachen’s contacting agents now.* *Don’t fail Lyra; she is priceless beyond your dreams.* There was a disturbing ring of finality in Iandrel’s mind,
but when Tarhn would have questioned, Iandrel curtly limited the link to a
simple relay. “We’re being followed, Lyra. Two in front, two behind. When
I signal, link with me and run to the flyer pads, Don’t stop. Don’t look back.
Now!” Tarhn felt the surge of strength as Iandrel followed Lyra’s
swift flight. The closest :guard recovered first. A weapon appeared
in his hand, and his mind radiated a desire to kill. Iandrel’s muscles bunched,
launched his body in a flying arc toward the armed man. At the top of the arc,
his foot flashed out and upwards against the guard’s face. The guard died instantly as nasal bone and cartilage sheared
through his brain. Iandrel’s harsh command overrode Lyra’s dismay; she closed
her mind and ran. The three remaining guards hesitated, then chased the fleeing
pair. Iandrel wove in and through surprised groups of tourists,
using them as shields. Soon the take-off pads were within reach. On one of
them, a small two-seat flying machine was being readied for use. Tarhn sensed another
of Iandrel’s incisive commands and was not surprised when the mechanic
scrambled from the machine as from a white-hot sheet of metal. Lyra needed no
prodding from Iandrel to sprint around the confused bystanders and up the flyer’s
ladder. Iandrel was right behind her. The engine roared violently when Iandrel slammed the airflow
lever full down. The grass blurred and fell away as the machine leaped into the
air. “Primitive, but that’s supposed to be part of the pleasure,”
yelled Iandrel over the howl of air. When the plastic canopy closed over their
heads, he said in a more normal tone, “I’d rather have a moonskimmer or a
nograv racer. Or an Access,” he added grimly as another machine lifted in
pursuit. Lyra said nothing; he knew her thoughts were on the guard
who was not following them. “Now,” said Iandrel, “what can you do to get those men off
our backs?” Before Lyra could answer, a beam of energy sizzled through
the canopy. Tarhn felt the pain of Iandrel’s scorched cheek and hand, and the
immediate dizzying dive which ended below treetop level. The flight continued
in a swerving, swooping, nerve-stretching race between the trees. *Lasrifle,* he thought curtly at Tarhn’s questioning
thought. *Must have had it broken up and concealed in their clothing. Be ready
to link with her. I can’t dodge that beam forever.* Tarhn’s respect for Iandrel increased as he watched Iandrel’s
fluid control of the machine’s vertiginous rush between swiftly looming tree
trunks. He didn’t interrupt Iandrel, even when the forest twilight was abruptly
split by laser light. Without slowing, Iandrel activated a crash cocoon around
Lyra. He didn’t activate his own, for to do so would remove the machine from
his control. Tarhn/Iandrel felt the machine lurch as one of its airfoils
erupted in a dazzling sheet of flame. The canopy exploded against a tree limb
and the machine plowed to a sliding, shuddering halt on the forest floor. Tarhn felt himself hurled from Iandrel’s mind into Lyra’s
even as Iandrel commanded her to run. But Lyra had seen the bright flow of blood across his body. *Help me, Tarhn,* she thought urgently. “I can’t heal him alone.* Tarhn drove his mind deep into hers, power growing with each
linkage point, interlocking with sweeping ease and strength. Their mind swept through the pathways of Iandrel’s pain, healing.
Their hands plucked shards of plastic from his body, pressed, made him whole
with the skill of their mind. Sweat dripped from their body as they poured
strength into the healing, forcing suddenly leaden hands to touch and hold
bleeding flesh, strength pouring futilely, dammed, sinking, links shearing too
soon, knowledge coming too late. Tarhn felt rough hands drag Lyra away from Iandrel. Her mental
scream was a low verbal cry. *Hurt! Help him!* One of the guards twisted his weapon to lethal and killed Iandrel. “Lift her.” Tarhn sensed a strange tension begin in Lyra as she felt Iandrel’s
life knot endlessly. Tension tuned her body, tightened her throat, sucked Tarhn’s
mind back among the jagged linkages of failure. Her eyes opened searing gold. Fright trembled over her captors, but it came too late.
Tension exploded in a savage paean to nihilism ... and three men died. Tarhn felt her mind fragmenting away from linkage, dissolving,
slipping elusive into depths he had never suspected of her. Dachen’s insistent commands finally penetrated his concentration. “Iandrel’s dead,” said Tarhn curtly. “The other Carifil are
nowhere in sight. Lyra is ...” Tarhn hesitated, then his voice broke in
disbelief, “dying!” *Total link.* Dachen’s command drove into Tarhn’s mind. He opened, but the
link stopped completely just inside the third level. Deeper than any but Lyra
had ever gone, not nearly deep enough. Dachen could sense both Lyra and Tarhn,
but he could not help either one. His contempt seared Tarhn’s mind. *She’d better not die because your crawling self wouldn’t
link. You’re her complement. Will her to live.* *Can’t. Too strong.* Dachen’s answer was ice and cutting edges. *Her mind is in
pieces. A child could control her, if he wanted to.* Tarhn felt agony and fear tearing deep within him as he
reached again for Lyra, then Dachen stabilized the link until Tarhn was in
control. Tarhn reached out, fastened onto Lyra, and held. When Elenda entered the room, he heard her words with Dachen
as though at a vast distance. “We haven’t found the estate yet, or Iandrel. Four Carifil
are flying over the forest along the directional line Tarhn gave us.” “Iandrel is dead. Lyra killed three guards.” “And?” “Tarhn says she’s dying, though they didn’t hurt her.” “From what Lyra said, Singers who kill, die.” “Perhaps. Lyra seems to be willing death. Tarhn wouldn’t
mesh to the fourth so I can’t be sure what’s wrong.” “Now?” “Tarhn is supplying her will to live—until he cracks wide
open. Then it’s anybody’s guess what will happen to both of them. And us.
Savages and lightships.” Tarhn’s teeth ground against each other and sweat shimmered
over his face. She was so far away, rainbow colors receding, dimming. No
strength to hold barriers among minds, to hide ... must ride the waves of
contradiction openly, Dachen and Elenda will know ... Lyra, a deep amber pool serene, beautiful beyond dreams,
resonating, a flame of passion flickering, promising, kindling, fulfilling.
Lyra, an alien god-devil singing down lightning and the icy reaches of panic.
Lyra, an exhausted, appealing mortal unable to heal herself. Lyra, screaming in
agony at his simple touch. Lyra, mind clean and translucent. Lyra, golden, devouring,
Tau blue helpless, Lyra Lyra, LYRA “Breaking.” Dachen’s word, his own, a dream? “Why won’t he let us link and help?” Echoes taunting, fading, shrieking. “... same reason he’s breaking ... HATRED and fear LOCKED ...
deepest level. Would you ... OPEN ... stinking ... SAVE the ... wanted DEAD?” Into Lyra’s desolate, dissolving mind Tarhn poured yet more
strength, his own memories of life. The diamond sunrises of Tau scintillating
over hoarfrost when fledgling slakes first rose to taste the sweet chill of
flight. N’Lete and Bithe clacking playfully, inviting Tarhn’s affectionate,
itch-soothing hands. The mountains of Wilderness surging against the incandescent
sun, yet yielding to her power. Her supple walk through brittle-brush and rock
and the infinite beauty of her voice. Life. The link became less difficult; he sensed her awareness waiting,
balancing the solace of unsentient, irrevocable dispersal against the
possibilities of sentient, sensual life ... and the scale dropping toward
annihilation, heavy with a novel sense of degradation unworthy of
life/completion/rebirth. Certainty crystallized in Tarhn that only love or hope of completion
would hold Lyra to life. The Singers may have loved her, but it was not to them
her need reached out. He was her complement, yet her hopes had evaporated in
the searing blast of his hatred. Deliberately, he began to divide his awareness. Memory by
memory, incident by incident, he peeled the layers of his mind, sorted out his
hatred of Singers, impounded his corrosive emotions behind boundaries of will,
then shrank the boundaries inward until all hatred was a caustic knot beyond
his awareness, beyond hindering, beyond help, final. Only then could he send convincing half-truths to Lyra. Lyra, honey-smooth breasts shimmering beneath Wilderness’
sun. Laughter haunted by music as she leaned toward him, sunrise incarnate with
amber drift of hair and glowing eyes. Lyra, linking with his mind, point on
point, soaring. Lyra, body pulsing with the rhythms of passion, his own body
hard with answering need. Need for her life. Need for her. Lyra, trembling with
life, mind changed by memories yet willing to live. Willing to live. LIVE. And a chant rising in the darkness between their minds, warming,
soothing, peace and golden joy unguessed, expanding and joining, soaring on
wings of song, vivid fall of melody lighting the darkness, weaving complex futures’
intricate mysteries. An exhausted assent crossed the stars. Tarhn slumped bonelessly on the allform, hand dragging the
floor. He heard/felt all that went on around him, but was incapable of
responding as Dachen spoke to him. When Tarhn did not answer, Dachen turned to Elenda. “My mind was with the Carifil. What happened?” Elenda’s eyes were dark violet and her hands trembled as she
drew an uneven breath. “I’m not sure. Tarhn’s mind was closed for a
while, then it was open. No shields, no holding back. Nothing. He ... he sent
love to Lyra. But it wasn’t a dimensional love. It was like a reflection in a
mirror. And his mind had no dimension either. So utterly controlled, so ... inhuman.” “Did he appear stable?” Tarhn felt Elenda’s eyes on him as she answered with a
strange half-laugh. “Stable? Gods yes! Rigid. Frozen. I would have said it was impossible
to lie with mindtouch, but he did. And ... the song. The song made it true,
made her believe.” “Song? Tarhn?” “I don’t know who sang.” “Was it all a lie?” “It couldn’t have been the whole truth,” she said flatly. “Hatred
like he had just doesn’t evaporate. It’s got to be somewhere in his mind,
destroying—” Her hands smacked together in frustration. Tarhn felt Elenda bend over him and remove the psitran. Her
fingers smoothed the damp curls back from his forehead. “He did what we asked,” she said, “I only hope we saved the
right one.” “Maybe we can help him ...” began Dachen, then said nothing
at the hopeless shake of Elenda’s head. “He fought against himself. There’s no way to win a battle
like that, and a thousand ugly ways to lose. He is beyond our integration,
Dachen.” “Tarhn?” Jasilyn’s breathless call matched the worry she radiated. “We can’t reach him,” said Elenda. If he is aware of us, he’s
the only one who knows.” Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s hands move over his body skillfully,
swiftly attaching leads from the biomonitor unit. And he felt the fury building
in her, violent. As the last connection was made, he heard the hissing,
clacking cries of Tau slakes ready for battle. Two vivid streaks of blue crossed
the room, condensed into two angry slakes coiled next to him. Jasilyn moved warily away from the slakes; it didn’t take
much sensitivity to figure out that the animals were fully aroused and
prepared, eager, to fight for their friend. “I don’t blame you,” said Jasilyn. “I’d like to kill a few
people myself.” Jasilyn’s hair pulsed like wind-driven flames as she paced the
confines of the room, talking in a voice which reflected the rising anguish of
her mind. “Iandrel dead. Tarhn ... Tarhn .... Lyra. Did you know,” she
said to no one, “did you know that that little flower had fangs? The dead and
the half-dead. FOR NOTHING! We can’t even find the little curdling Singer! By
the Tortured God, I’d like to give Kretan’s balls the Fifth Twist. And the
Singers. The space-pure Singers, too good to help themselves. Can you hear me,
Singers?” she screamed. “CAN YOU HEAR ME? Lyra’s lost! Gone! Out of the game,
whatever curdling game it was you were playing. Iandrel ... Tarhn ....” Though her words were no longer coherent, Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s
anguish tearing at his mind and longed to comfort her as she had so often comforted
him. Yes, comfort her. Lyra? LYRA! No answer, just the humming of a voice or voices, beautiful
as only Lyra ... or Singers. We are here. Like mindtouch ... yet ... strange, interior .... How? You are changed; we can touch you now ... Humming deepened, separated, a chant describing half-life dying.
And he knew they mourned for him .... Help me? A contralto wail of regret ridden by faces once living, long
dead, Singers’ agony. Unfocused. But .... Notes rose, flowered under warm showers of harmony, redolent
of bliss and rest and peace renewing. Valleys of soft-petaled life lifting to
the pouring drops of song, strength multiplied joy, perfection in rainbow
harmony bridging, linking. Strength. Soothe the jagged life. Song drained out of his mind, fading echoes, memories ...
gone. “Tarhn!” said Jasilyn’s voice, ragged with pain. *TARHN!* Tarhn moved his hand to touch the white hands twisting so
close to his. As his fingers closed over Jasilyn’s, he saw the lines of rage
and grief dissolve from her face, leaving a serene beauty he had never seen
before. Her wordless wonder filled his mind, returning more peace than he had
given. With a deep sigh he slipped into normal sleep. VI“Tarhn?” Jasilyn’s call was lighter than a breath, completely undemanding. “I’m awake.” “I won’t believe it until I see those blue stones you have
for eyes.” Though her tone was teasing, there was an undercurrent of
worry. He opened his eyes. “Believe me now?” “Yes,” said Jasilyn with a catch in her voice. “What I can’t
believe is that you slept almost two days, you great lazy nuft.” “Lyra—” “Kretan’s backup was faster than ours; all we know is that
she isn’t on Be-a Mora.” “Is she alive?” “We think so.” “What else, Jas?” “The first Singer brief was inconclusive.” “Good. That gives us some time. They can’t annihilate until—” “But Kretan’s people are demanding a re-hearing.” “When?” “Now.” “Then he must have Lyra.” “Yes,” reluctantly, “but we’ve blanketed the chattel
planets. No marriage between aliens has taken place on any of them. So Lyra
must be alive; he won’t kill her until he has the Access rights legally locked
up.” Tarhn laughed suddenly. “Share the joke,” said Jasilyn. “Kretan. All that power and he can’t ram through a marriage.” “Not one the Deliberators would ratify. They’re scalded
after Kretan’s two snatch-and-run operations. Kretan, may he die like the
Tortured God, isn’t stupid. Somewhere that canny old bastard is setting up an
unimpeachable marriage contract.” “And he must be close or he wouldn’t be pushing for a
re-hearing.” Jasilyn’s silence was all the answer he needed. “She’s drugged, of course,” he said thoughtfully, then shook
his head. “Won’t do, Jas. Lyra is either dead or ... dead.” Then why would he be pushing for a re-hearing?” “Once Lyra’s dead it makes no difference to Kretan whether
the Singers live or die. It would be smart for him to give up gracefully; he’s
made a lot of enemies keeping the Singers alive.” “But you don’t believe she is dead,” said Jasilyn. “If he can’t marry her, Kretan has no reason to keep her
alive and every rea—Gods! Why didn’t I—my brain is sand! Tau!” “Tau?” “Tau! Tau is the only planet in the galaxy where Acting
Helix Kretan a Haman n’Ahler can mate anyone without any consent other than
that of the Gene-Masters. He could breed with an eight-toed zarf if they
agreed. And for the honor of being chosen, the zarf gives up all material goods
to the Helix, to be held in trust for the unborn Helix.” “Nice planet you came from.” “Only the Helix has Gene-Rights. And there isn’t anyone in
the Tau genocracy who wouldn’t gladly pay the Helix for the honor of being
half-parent of a future First Helix.” “Still sounds like a curdling nasty piece of business. The,
Helix could grab up all the wealth under pretext of Gene-Rights.” Tarhn laughed. “That’s what the Gene-Masters are for. They
evaluate the chosen person’s genes. If a First Helix child is—likely, then the
Helix is permitted his Rights. If not, no Rights. That’s why it’s taking so
long. Kretan is waiting for the Masters to unravel her genes. Once they agree—” “What if they don’t agree? Or has Kretan paid them too well?” “You don’t pay Gene-Masters. But they’ll agree. They’ll leap
up from their scanners and proclaim her co-Helix of Tau. And they would be
right. Who are you relaying to?” “Jerlis. Can’t you tell ... ?” “No,” he said curtly. “Tell her to set an Access for Tau.” “Tarhn, are you all right?” Tarhn knew exactly what she meant; he should have been able
to sense Jasilyn’s relay, follow it, and reach Jerlis himself. But he couldn’t. “I’m fine,” he lied, and prayed his mind was as closed to
her as her mind was to his. It was like being suddenly immersed in dark water,
seeing only vague blurs and dark shapes where formerly he had seen crisp images
alive with color. And when he stood, he felt the weakness of his body. Not
debilitating, just ... languid, as though some nerve impulses were slow or
absent. He wondered for a moment what disease shape his hatred had taken that
allowed it to feed so quickly on mind and body, dissolving and devouring. If only— Tarhn brushed away regret. He had done the best he could; he
had kept Lyra alive. Now he must get her off Tau, quickly, while he still had
the strength and will. “Blue room Access is ready for five plus slakes.” “No, Jas. Thanks, but no. Tau has only one nonfreight
Access. If it’s used by anyone but a high Tau genotype, alarms ring from pit to
hall.” “We don’t have any Tau agents except you. Tau has never accepted
off-worlders.” “And never will, so long as Kretan is Helix.” Tarhn strode from the room, not as quickly as he would have
liked, but at least his legs obeyed. Jasilyn hurried after him, pleas changing
to curses when she realized he wasn’t listening. Tarhn took in the blue room with a glance; the slakes weren’t
there. He tried to reach them with mindtouch. Nothing. With a smothered curse, Tarhn rolled the balcony
window open. His hands curled around his lips, magnifying the ululation which
came from his throat. “What in the—” began Jasilyn, “Re-set for one plus slakes, Jerlis,” said Tarhn, ignoring
Jasilyn’s puzzled questions. He knew that Jasilyn must be burning Jerlis with
her demands that he not leave and hoped that Jerlis could take it. “You have twelve Tau hours, Tarhn,” said Jerlis. “After that
a river of Carifil is going to pour through Tau’s Access.” “The Assembly—” “—can suck zarfs. Twelve hours.” Jasilyn was nearly knocked over as n’Lete and Bithe swooped
through the open window. They hesitated, then scrambled onto the platform at a
signal from Tarhn’s hand. “The slakes ... Tarhn can’t use mindspeech! Stop him,
Jerlis!” But Tarhn had already leaped onto the Access platform,
falling on his knees in a blaze of blue transfer light. He had several
wrenching moments in which to savor the depths of his rash leap before the blue
lights dimmed and he found himself facing an enameled wall. In the center of
the wall was a vivid Tau blue Helix surrounded by the angular script he hadn’t
seen since he was a boy. The half-forgotten names of his Helix ancestors echoed
in his mind as his eyes scanned the gene lists. The last name was his own. The wall split soundlessly in the middle. Relieved that the
scanners had accepted him, Tarhn signaled the slakes to precede him into the
half-light of the Hall of Genocrats. The wall closed behind him immediately after
he had passed through. “Well, slakes,” he said softly. “We’re home. Let’s hope nobody
else is.” Although the Hall seemed to be deserted, Tarhn felt uneasy.
Being without psi in a weakening body was like walking naked through a slizzard
den—at best hazardous, at worst fatal. “Come, slakes. Let’s see whether the new genocrats are as
careless of their field cloaks as the old were.” The tic-click of unsheathed slake claws told Tarhn that the
slakes were as nervous as he. “Gently, n’Lete and Bithe. Softly.” The sound of claws stopped. Tarhn skirted the amphitheater
in an attempt to orient himself from old memories. The hookrooms bordered the
bowl, and in the hookrooms would be overlooked cloaks. And the hookrooms were
also opposite the exit arches. Which meant he had just walked past a hookroom. With an impatient gesture Tarhn sent the slakes to check the
blank depths of the unlit hookroom. When the slakes returned without alarm,
Tarhn stepped into the darkness and waited without moving until his eyes had adjusted
to minimum light vision. The unique smell of the hookroom, a rich compound of
scented fabric, nambel leather, and slake musk, brought an explosion of memories.
For an instant he was a young boy, arrogant, with two half-grown slakes riding
his narrow shoulders to a dusk slizzard hunt. “We hunted well that day,” he murmured. “And many others.
May we hunt as well tonight, Ahhh ....” With returning vision, Tarhn spotted the cloaks scattered
around the hookroom. The names of the highest genocrats had changed after the
plague, but not their habits. There were at least ten field cloaks hanging forgotten
from their hooks. Tarhn paused over each cloak, hoping to find one from either
the a Harnahn or n’Ahler house. N’Ahler would be better, but he was in no
position to be selective. Not one of the names was familiar. For the first time Tarhn fully realized the devastation
wrought by the plague. The cloak he held was richly made, as rich as any he had
ever seen. Yet of the three ancestral names embroidered in gold, not one had
the “a” of a Second Helix ancestor preceding it, much less the “n” of a First
Helix. And the lining of the cloak was palest blue, fitting only for a Tau who
had had no Helix ancestors for four generations. A wave of dizziness swayed through him and he clung to the
hooks to keep his balance. He must move more quickly. He must find a cloak to
hide behind before he dared the streets. And the cloak must be of at least
middle blue or his unmistakably Helix phenotype would be his death. Tarhn left the hookroom empty-handed. The slakes, excited by
the residual musk of their own kind, moved so swiftly to the next hookroom that
Tarhn found himself stumbling in his attempts to keep up. “Ssssnahh,” he whispered, hoping they remembered the old
stalking call. The slakes slowed until he caught up with them. Even so, his breath was a fire in his ribs when he entered
the second hookroom. He went immediately to the cloaks, pawing the folds of
each until the lining was revealed. One was of nearly middle blue. Not dark
enough for a Helix by half, but ... the name had an “a” preceding. Tarhn snatched the cloak down and tied it over his
shoulders. Too short, of course; barely reached past mid-calf. But the only
cloak on Tau that would really fit him belonged to Kretan. With fumbling fingers Tarhn laced the cloak from neck to navel.
If he were careful, his off-world clothes wouldn’t show when he walked. And the
hood shadowed his Helix eyes. Now, to get a flyer. “Up, slakes.” The slakes clawed up the cloak, using the ladder of nambel
hide loops that had been sewn on the cloak for just that purpose. When they
reached Tarhn’s shoulders, the slakes assumed a show position, unsheathed claws
grasping the wide braids of leather which crisscrossed the cloak, wings
half-spread. The slakes felt unreasonably heavy. Tarhn sagged, then set
his shoulders and headed for the streets of Helix. Few people moved along the dim streets. Either it was very
late or people no longer spent time and money prowling the nightdens of Tau.
And the Taus who were abroad walked as though they had been too long over their
cups and nyth pipes. It was late, then. Tarhn walked as quickly as he could
toward the gambling district. He lurched occasionally as though he were the
last one to leave a nyth party. The lurching was easy; what was hard was to
keep his feet under the slakes’ weight. He comforted himself with the thought
that he made a convincing picture of a genocrat nythsot. The thought lost comfort with every street passed. If he
didn’t find a flyer compound soon, he’d have to make the slakes walk. Then he
would be as conspicuous as a slizzard in a slake nest. A Tau who couldn’t bear
the weight of his own battle slakes .... but if he launched them, he had no way
of calling them back. Tarhn leaned against a building to gather enough strength to
cross the next street without falling. The sound of slurred, angry words
followed by an elaborate apology floated through his gathering fog of lethargy.
Tarhn signaled the slakes down to the ground. His finger pressed gently against
their noses, commanding them to stay until he returned. Tarhn crept to the edge of the building and peered around
the comer into a compound crammed with flyers. At least that hadn’t changed
after the plague—Sathen’s slake lair still lured rich Taus into its gambling
rooms. A tall, lone figure in an expensive field cloak staggered among the
flyers, hands outstretched, searching for the one elusive door that would open
in recognition of his palm. Obviously the man was gone on nyth and needed help to find
his flyer. Tarhn’s help, to be precise. Tarhn pressed flat against the building as two people walked
away from the parked flyers. He need not have worried—they were barely more
sober than the lost genocrat. “... arrogant slizzard. My third near-father of my mother’s
family was fourth removed from a Second Helix. I should have—” “Clack-clack,” cut in a scornful voice. “You’d’ve eaten slakeshit
if he’d asked you to. Next time let the old malper find his own flyer.” “Next, time I’ll—” The roar of a rising flyer masked the rest of the words.
Tarhn was afraid that his quarry had escaped until he spotted an erratic shadow
haunting the edge of the flyer compound. Tarhn waited until the street was
deserted before he walked his slakes across. When they could get no closer to
the man without discovery, Tarhn lifted the slakes to his shoulders. “High winds, a Narmeht,” said Tarhn to the genocrat, picking
that name from the man’s cloak. “Uffgn ...” Tarhn’s nerves tightened another notch; the old zarf was too
full of nyth to— “Highprey,” mumbled the genocrat. “If your flyer wears the family code, perhaps I could spare
you the trouble of finding it in this slizzard den.” The genocrat’s slurred assent was all Tarhn needed. With a
pace that rebuilt the fire under his ribs, Tarhn moved through the rows of
parked flyers. One good thing about the plague—so few living genocrats could
claim the “a” that the search was made easy. Ahh, that one. Dented from many
bad landings, but ... it must do. Tarhn brushed the slakes off his shoulders and signaled them
to wait. When he returned to where he’d left the genocrat, no one was around. “Uhhmgh ... gghn.” Tarhn looked beneath a nearby flyer and saw the genocrat
sprawled on the ground. With neither care nor courtesy, Tarhn yanked the
nythsot upright and staggered toward the flyer. The slakes hastily moved away
when Tarhn’s burden landed with a thump against the flyer. Tarhn held the
nythsot upright against the door by the simple expedient of a knee in the
genocrat’s spine. “... malper is too kind,” Tarhn muttered as he forced the
man’s flaccid hand against the code plate. The entry panel parted suddenly, spilling the genocrat face
first into the cargo area. Tarhn crawled in, not at all careful where he put
his feet. The genocrat didn’t stir though, even when Tarhn dragged him fully
inside and dropped him again. “Up ... slakes.” The slakes settled delicately on top of the unconscious
genocrat. Tarhn staggered to the pilot’s seat and slumped against the
controls. With deep, shuddering breaths he tried to exorcise the pain claws
digging into his brain. Tired .. , tired. Great Helix ... shouldn’t be ... have
to. What ... ? Sleep ... yes sleep No. Compelling notes. Had to do ... remember. Why ... Lyra. A name, lovely. Did he ... know anyone ... Fear splintered like lightning through the dense clouds of exhaustion
and disease, thawed frozen nerves and memories. His hands trembled on the flyer’s
controls. The craft jerked into the air, barely missing the ornate overhang of
a nearby building. Ground lights blurred, focused, twisting dark water halving
city. A river ... ? Yes. Up ... down? Why not? Up we go slakes ... a slizzard
wind is rising on the back of the white moon. High prey tonight ... high prey. ... and the lightsbelow ... nicelights. Every ... shade of
blue ... genocrat holdings. None so clearas those ahead ... Taublue, Helixblue,
house dark. Do something .... Clereth hated house dark. Daughter of Helix ...
hated night. Flawed gene no nightsight. Afraid. Dead? Yes ... genemother Clerethdied
with all the restof ... Singers ... music gentle rising peace andstrength. Land
now ... see pretty Singer. hear sad song. After the smashing noises ended Tarhn heard the hiss of an
automatic med pack. Fire blazed through his arm, radiated in searing waves,
pumped throughout his body as the stimulant took hold. He shook his head to
banish the last of the pain claws. The landing had put a few more dents in the
rumpled flyer. It would have been worse if the old nythsot hadn’t bought the
best in automatic safety equipment. Tarhn released the crash net after only two tries. The
slakes clacked, restless beneath the cargo net which had snugged them to their
unconscious perch. *Patience, slakes. We should apologize to friend a Narmeht.
Any nythsot with wits enough to plan for his crashes deserves our kindness, if
not our love. By the Helix that stimulant was potent!* Tarhn released the slakes, signaling them to use the bite-without-death
when they explored the nearby Helix compound. At least he hoped he had given
them the correct signal; it had been a long time since his last battle games. Tarhn turned his attention to the medbox attached to the
pilot’s seat. There was no way of knowing how long the stimulant would last, and
he had no desire to return to a state of raving weakness. He hammered with the
edge of his hand until the warped latch on the box gave way. Inside were three
sizeable chemical darts waiting to be launched into unconscious flesh. “Helix, it’s a wonder I didn’t jump through the canopy.
Enough antidope in one of these stun darts to make a slerg leap from pit to
hall.” Yet all he felt was ... nearly normal. Not overtight, not
stretched. The lines on Tarhn’s face deepened into a grim mask as he realized
how far his body had weakened if such a huge dose of stimulant only made him
feel almost normal. Still sluggish, though. Well, there were three doses left.
Maybe another one would give him the strength for a mindcall to the slakes. Before his common sense could assert itself, Tarhn jammed
one of the darts into his arm. Blue lights fractured into rainbows, dots, raging red fire.
He hung onto the seat and waited for the chemical storm to pass. When it
finally did, his mind reached out for the slakes. Their joyous response made
him smile. *It won’t last, my friends, so pay attention. Find and
protect Lyra, she of the beautiful voice and touch. Lyra.* No sense of confusion came from the slakes, so they understood. *Send everyone else you meet into sleep ... or death, if you
must. Go separate and silent, my friends.* The flash of battle eagerness from the slakes gave Tarhn a
moment’s surprise, for he felt no such lift. He felt ... drained. Tarhn snapped the mindlink and found himself once again
clinging to the seat for support, body sweat-slippery and trembling with
fatigue. He gathered his will and stumbled toward the Tau blue lights which
glowed at the bottom of the hill. Unconsciously he found himself detouring to
pass close to the slake perches. When he had lived in the Helix house, the
slakes had’ been his only joy, his only respite from the endless demands of Clereth.
Poor Clereth, she had hated no one so much as herself. Tarhn leaned against a squat, silver-leafed tree. When his
breathing slowed, he listened to the night sounds of Tau. Other than the
erratic screech of a large insect, he heard nothing. Apparently Kretan had not
installed any new alarm systems. Not surprising. As far as the Carifil knew,
Kretan had been on Tau only eight times since the plague, and had only stayed a
few planet hours each time. In fact, Kretan had stayed away from his home for
so many years that the Carifil had stopped watching Tau. Of course, another reason why there were no alarms could be
that Kretan was not here and thus had no need of alarms. Tarhn pushed away from the tree. Kretan had to be here. If
he wasn’t, Lyra was dead. And if Lyra was dead, the Singers would have told
him. And Tarhn gave himself up to the forces of fatigue and gravity.
What his rolling descent of the steep hill lacked in silence it gained in
speed. The slake perches at the base of the hill smacked him soundly. He lay
wrapped around them for a moment, listening for alarms. Even the insect was still. No light flashed on in the Helix House. Either the servants
hadn’t heard him or Kretan hadn’t brought servants to the House. He hoped it
was the latter. But even if there were Servants, he could see in the dark and
they couldn’t. Tarhn pursued the genetic differences between low and high Taus
while part of his mind berated him for stalling. “Not stalling,” he muttered. “Resting. Sounds better.” With a dispirited curse, he pulled himself upright again. He
looked longingly at the two darts shimmering in the palm of his trembling hand;
with them he could know if the slakes had found Lyra, if she were ... if Kretan
.... Tarhn carefully tucked the darts into a belt pocket. As long
as he was on his feet, he didn’t really need the darts. He pushed away from the
slake perches and moved toward the dark bulk of the House. When he was halfway
there, his brain finally received the message his nose had been frantically
sending—the slake perches had been used very recently. Traces of musk lingered
where his hands had gripped the claw bars. Slakes were only allowed out of
their compounds under the direct control of their master. Kretan must be here. Tarhn should have been relieved, but any relief was
swallowed up in a greater fear. N’Lete and Bithe were separated; one of them
was simply no match for a mated pair of slakes guarding their own territory.
Fear for his friends released a wave of chemicals into Tarhn’s wavering body.
His legs responded with a surge of speed which carried him into the shadow of
the House. He leaned against the ancient wall, remembering all the,
times he had slipped out of his room to play with his slakes. The rough
fieldstone wall had served as a ladder then. It would have to serve as one now. Tarhn kicked off his sandals and surveyed the wall. Balconies
jutted invitingly from all four levels, but he ignored them; they were traps
for the unwary. Only two windows were unshuttered. One of them was on the
highest level. The other was the ventilation duct into the second level storage
closets. He had used that duct many times in the past. Tarhn climbed for the duct. His bare feet searched for
purchase while his fingers clung to impossibly small holds. Before he was
halfway to the window his hands and feet were slippery with blood. He hadn’t
remembered the climb as being difficult or long, but he was smaller then ...
and stronger. When his feet finally reached the rainshelf, he felt light
with relief. Though the shelf was barely as wide as three toes, it gave him the
first secure purchase of the climb. The sound of his breathing was loud, too
loud, but there was little he could do about it. Tarhn raised his head to measure the distance to the duct.
He remembered the next part as the most difficult. Prying off the scent screen
while clinging to the wall .... with puzzled pleasure Tarhn realized that the
screen was in front of his face. Of course. He was easily twice the size now
that he had been then. But then would he still fit into the opening? Tarhn pried the scent screen out of its frame. The smell of dawnflowers
enfolded him, rousing memories of sheets and handcloths and blankets and rugs
freshly taken from the closet for special, scented occasions, Tarhn measured the screen against his shoulders. Too small.
He shrugged out of the now ragged cloak and measured again. Still too small.
The sour taste of defeat and exhaustion rose in his mouth. He hadn’t the
strength to reach the other open window and he was too big to get through this
one. He swayed suddenly, grinding bleeding toes against cold
stone. Pain roused him to the knowledge that either he attempted the duct now or
he joined the cloak and screen on the ground. His hands fumbled along the
inside edge of the empty duct. The thick metal pipe which held the winter
shutter sat firmly along the top of the frame inside. There was no point in
testing the pipe’s strength; it would either hold him or it wouldn’t. His shoulders ached as they took the weight of his body.
Bleeding feet slipped more than once, but the repeated shocks of pain served as
a goad. With a convulsive heave, he lifted his body into the opening. His hips
passed through easily, but not his shoulders. With a groan Tarhn sat on the
ledge, legs dangling inside the closet. His muscles clenched and relaxed erratically,
jerking him like a puppet. When the fire in his ribs diminished to embers, Tarhn
squirmed sideways, jammed his palms against the top of the duct opening, and
shoved with all the strength that remained. Had his body not been well-greased
with blood and sweat he would have stuck as surely as a cork in a bottle. As it
was, he lost most of the skin from his back and shoulders. The landing was
soft, thanks to a pile of rugs. He lay there and congratulated himself on the
pretty patterns his blood made on the white rugs. Rugs and blood spun, grew, diminished,
leaped in a bizarre dance that ended only when he pushed another dart into his
wrist. N’Lete’s battle challenge lifted him into a staggering run
even before all the stimulant was in his bloodstream. When two strange slakes
answered N’Lete, Tarhn’s body responded with savagery. He kicked through the
closet door, barely noticing the agony it cost. The screams were coming from below him. Tarhn reached the
stairwell in four swift strides. Even as he descended, his hand wrenched a
curved ceremonial knife from its place of honor above the second level landing.
Though the knife hilt was heavy with Helix stones, the blade was a businesslike
fishhook with no dull edges. Tarhn reached the first level, hesitated, then plunged on to
the ground level. The crash of a crystal vase told him he had guessed right.
Tarhn burst into the lower room, stopped suddenly. Lyra lay in an alcove across the room. Neither the slakes’
screams nor his abrupt entrance roused her. Subdued lights pulsed as the biomed
machine monitored the delicate balance between drugged unconsciousness and
death. N’Lete was in a guard position next to Lyra, but the other
slakes were approaching from either side. At Tarhn’s entrance, one of the
slakes pulled away as though to guard the wall, to Tarhn’s right. Tarhn whistled shrilly through his teeth. From a distance he
heard Bithe’s response. He signaled n’Lete to watch the slake which had
retreated. Why had it retreated? Why didn’t the slakes attack? The withdrawing slake rattled its wings restively and stared
toward the near wall. Tarhn looked closely, then exclaimed in disbelief. A tiny
Access. Recently used, too, for blue light still gleamed. The slakes had just arrived,
only to find n’Lete. Would Kretan be next? The Access looked too small for a
man, but it would explain how Kretan came and went with impunity. Too small to
register on Concord scanners, or else used too infrequently to be traced. And
Kretan certainly hadn’t advertised his presence by adding alarms or guards ...
or even servants. The certainly grew on Tarhn that the House was indeed as deserted
as it seemed. Kretan trusted no one. Tarhn stepped cautiously toward Lyra. One of the Kretan’s
slakes moved to intercept him, jaws open in warning. N’Lete screamed again.
Tarhn motioned her to his shoulder, ignoring the stabbing unsheathed claws.
Kretan’s slakes were at a disadvantage; the floor was ice-slippery. Without aid
a slake couldn’t get airborne. Not that they couldn’t kill him easily enough
from the floor. With a sudden motion, Tarhn launched n’Lete toward one of
the ceiling perches. She hung there, wings cocked and ready for a dive onto the
back of a grounded opponent. The Access lights glowed suddenly blue. No time to wait for
Bithe, only time for lunges and desperation. Tarhn screamed the attack command and simultaneously threw a
heavy glass sculpture at the closest slake. Shards of glass exploded through
wing membrane, but the slake needed only teeth and claws for Tarhn. He leaped
to one side to avoid the slake, only to find that it refused to be drawn away
from Lyra. From the far corner of the room came the grating sounds of two
slakes locked in death combat. The Access whined an arrival signal. As the doors opened
Tarhn sent a heavy chair skating across the floor. Slake claws scrambled
frantically for purchase, then the slake screamed in anger and pain as the
chair knocked it reeling and skidding across the room. The slake stopped only
when it crashed through the open Access doors and against the feet of its
master. Even as Kretan stumbled over the injured animal, his hand reached beneath
his cloak for a weapon. Tarhn’s knife flashed through the tubes bleeding drugs into
Lyra. His fingers closed around the last dart. He wasn’t sure what the massive
stimulant would do to Lyra. He was only sure that he had perhaps two seconds
before Kretan killed him. The dart penetrated Lyra’s skin easily, as easily as the
beam which seared through his outstretched hand. Tarhn threw himself to the
floor, wondering why he was still alive as he rolled to shelter behind an allform.
Bithe’s scream of agony answered him. The slake had arrived in time to
intercept most of the beam meant for Tarhn. Tarhn erupted from behind the allform in a staggering rush.
He saw n’Lete dragging herself from her kill only to be met by the dead slake’s
mate. Bithe writhed on the polished floor while Kretan sought the head shot
which would ensure the slake’s death. Tarhn’s scream was not a formal battle
call. It was an inarticulate explosion of anguish and hatred. He knew he couldn’t
reach Kretan before Kretan killed Bithe, knew that he himself would quickly
follow the slake into death. Tarhn’s bloody feet slipped, dropping him to the floor. Fire
scored across Tarhn’s scalp, burned through his shoulder. The curved knife hadn’t been designed for throwing; it
turned over almost lazily in the air. Kretan lunged away from the flashing
blade, but not quite quickly enough; he saved his life at the cost of losing
two fingers. Kretan’s weapon dropped from his mangled hand. The silver
tube bounced, then rolled toward Tarhn as though it had been summoned. His
fingers curled around the weapon with agonizing slowness. Light and warmth
drained out of the room, pushing Tarhn’s numbed body toward the abyss. As the
dark rushed up to meet him, Tarhn’s hand aimed bright death at Kretan. VIILyra awoke to horror. It seemed the floor was glazed with blood, human and slake
sprawled in silent violence, and over all the stench of burned flesh. When she
recognized Tarhn, she knew real fear for the first time in her life. Her mind
reached for his, found ... nothing. Heedless of the blood, she knelt beside
him, her hand resting quietly on Tarhn’s forehead. Skin cool, sticky with
drying blood. No sense of Tarhn, no flash of agony or fear or hatred. Nothing
except a pale dissolving rhythm. *Singers.* Lyra’s thought was both query and demand. You are changed, Lyra Mara. *I have killed,* returned Lyra unflinchingly. A sound like cave winds reached her, damp and hollow. Notes
of despair and wonder rose, What do you wish, starsinger? Lyra felt the distance which separated her from her people,
a chasm of emotion/experience which few Singers could cross and fewer still
survive that crossing. They called her starsinger. Only that. And what further
degradations waited, what deeper chasms to be bridged before she either died or
became a focus. A hum of compassion loosened the strange bonds of fear which
held her taut. *I wish this man to be whole again.* Through you we will heal him, if he desires. *He does.* Lyra’s impatient thought crackled across their
waiting. His mind refuses. *Then heal only his flesh!* Their acquiescence came as seeking discrete notes, erratic
as the faint heartbeat beneath her hand. The two rhythms hesitated, matched,
joined, and were sealed by subtle harmony. More voices merged, reinforcing the
bonds with melody, leading the rhythm into smoothness, stately, flushed with
the steady beating of a living heart. The flesh lives, only to be destroyed by the mind. *Why?* Echoes of regret were her only answer, followed by a chant
which wove into a half-remembered song, waiting. Lyra felt a moment of spinning
terror when she realized what was required of her. Terror faded into whispered
music which dissipated as she slid into the emptiness of Tarhn’s sleeping/hiding
mind. At first she moved hesitantly, nerves anticipating caustic hatred. Empty. Even shadow memories had fled. Contours and depths vastly
changed. Former linkage points remained, yes, but all the myriad missed
linkages had vanished as though they never existed. A strange mind; safe, yet
so diminished and shorn. Why had he severed, perhaps destroyed so much of himself?
Even at the middle level, where past resistance had exploded the mesh ... quiescence.
The former fiery interplay of mind and ego had left ... nothing. *Come now, Tarhn,* she thought with a taste of asperity. *Only
pure Singers are this free of corrosive emotions.* The thought of Singer reverberated in his hidden mind,
twitched. *Ahh. You’re listening.* No response. *Are you a Singer?* she prodded. *You don’t look like a
Singer. Where is your sunbright hair, your golden eyes that—* Tarhn’s mind leaped toward consciousness. She held him below
the threshold of waking .. *Not yet, my once lover. Let’s think about golden eyes.* A vague memory of Lyra’s eyes formed, but it lacked power. *Too pale, Tarhn. Singer eyes look like this.* Twin suns of
gold burned in Tarhn’s mind, lighting hidden wisps of memory ... Lyra singing
of passion, communing with Wilderness, with an assembly of Tau genocrats. NO Tarhn’s mind heaved into desperate consciousness. All memories
vanished and linkages became reluctant, slippery. Lyra poured energy into the
mesh, fighting to retain it. She won, but had only echoing emptiness for her victory. *Tarhn?* Tentatively Lyra explored the silence. She touched and held
new contact points automatically, ignoring the fact that each link felt
lifeless, tasted of old terror and new sickness. Emptiness thickened with each
link deeper, a baffling viscous passivity, a will NOT A murmur of song touched her as she rested. A mere breath,
yet the descant carried immense expectations, infinite praise, and patience.
The pressure behind was greater than the resistance ahead; she pushed further
into the clinging emptiness with a controlled rush that ended in the deepest
level of his mind. And there was fetid horror consuming, growing. Lyra clung to the mesh and willed herself not to flee. It
was only disease, no worse. Spreading, though, spreading with a sucking
voracious eagerness which shook her control. And the pressure from the Singers
was gone and she was alone. No, not alone. Somewhere was Tarhn, and knowledge. With hardening will, Lyra reinforced each point of the mesh.
Tarhn was her complement; whatever distortions and diseases were his could be
known by her. Must be known by her. Only then could she judge the creation of
the Singers. *It is time to be one or nothing, Tarhn. You may help me or
fight me, but you cannot hide.* Golden notes touched the stretching disease, swept through
it with leaping purpose. Energy and will and seeking melody like rivers crying
in deep canyons, sweeping rubble away until at last the core is reached: a single
tiny sphere, heavy as a collapsed star, radiating black energy ... Tarhn. *Get out!* His savage thought cracked across her mind and made each
linkage an arc of pain. She fought her reflex to flee from his lethal hatred,
for in hatred was the knowledge she must have. Tarhn sensed the sudden slackening of the mesh, knew her
weakness and what caused it. He permitted more of his emotions to leak from the
dark star, but with hatred came a lash of memories the Hall of Genocrats lambent with Singers ... gold music
touching innocence with evil ... No Memory and hatred stopped as Tarhn switched his energy from
fighting Lyra to fighting the memories which threatened to explode from the
dark star. Lyra tightened the mesh, but could get no closer to knowledge. No
more memories eluded the pouring energy and control that compressed the
seething darkness. *Out,* thought Tarhn calmly. *You’ll have to drive me out. And you can’t, because half
your mind and most of your power is—* Tarhn struggled briefly, testing her strength and his own. *Harder, Tarhn. Surely a half-gened bastard couldn’t have a
stronger mind than the First Helix of Tau!* Tarhn waited sullenly beneath her goading thoughts; he could
control himself or evict her, but not both. *Then stay, Singer. It makes little
difference.* *Strange. You say you loathe Singers above all else, yet you
humbly submit to my presence deep within your mind. Impossible, Tarhn. What is
it that you really hate, really fear?* Tarhn twisted against the pull of her logic, but was unable
to break away. He fell back into passive waiting. *If you hated Singers you would be fighting me with every
erg of power you command, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you!* Before he realized what had happened, Lyra bridged the last
emptiness with a net of linkages surrounding the pulsing darkness. He shivered
in her grasp and the darkness licked outward. *What do you want?* he thought desperately. *Knowledge of that dark star, your hatred.* *It will kill you.* *Why do you shrink from that? Destruction is the goal of hatred.* Tarhn’s mind twisted feverishly, seeking any weakness in the
enveloping mesh of mindtouch. He found none and fell back into passivity. Lyra’s
regret sifted through his waiting. *I’d rather reach you as a complement than as a Singer.* Echoing silence. *So be it.* A song threaded through his mind, glowed from linkage
points, scattered in a child’s sigh of wonder as Lyra herself had sighed long
ago when Daveen celebrated her own nascent awareness with the Song of Unfolding,
the song she in turn now gave to Tarhn. Rills of joyous descant leaped from each contact, flowed
into single melody spiraling around the sullen darkness, followed wisps of
shared memory with glissandos of praise. Perception heightened and strengthened
in harmony with the sweet clear song. Memories, dreams, wishes won free from
the darkness and harmonized with the irresistible melody. Subtle dissonance flexed against the harmony, testing and restraining
until all that escaped darkness stood unflinching inside the golden spiral of
sound. And surrounding all, rhythm pulsed relentlessly, defining the spiral and
demanding that Tarhn know and accept his unfolding self. The darkness erupted. Fear screamed in ascending notes that clawed upwards through
the spiral; banished memories resonated in savage response. Beyond will,:
beyond despair, song and darkness shattered into brilliant remembered mist. The
mist that subsumed darkness delicately, irrevocably dissolving the last barriers
to total memory. Grotesque lies ravaged Lyra’s mind. Singer eyes golden with
delight tormenting helpless children. Singer laughter a demon’s cry bursting
with unspeakable desire, loathsome power twisting ... golden eyes insatiable ...
perverting ...engulfing galactic minds that all might be as vile as Singers. Lyra’s scream joined Tarhn’s, agony and hatred in awful
duet. Her mind reeled and would have fled, but hatred held the linkage now and
hatred would be fed and fattened. Nor did she cry out to be spared, though fear
flowered within her and each razor petal cut away her will. To struggle was
death—not the simple ingathering which separated new lives, but the final
dispersal of mind into the echoing void. She endured. She endured through all the myriad layers of darkness
reeking of disease, through rationalizations and displacements (dying svarls
laced with blood unsavory triumphs futile) until there was but one memory left,
one blinding instant of discovery long ago on Tau, NO! when Tarhn listened to his first Singer NO sing the Song of Unfolding, his shoulders numb to slake
claws drawing blood unknowing, the agony that made his body rigid owed nothing
to his transfixed slakes, everything to the song unfolding No and remorse pouring through him from an unending catalog of
cruelties petty and gross, crimes against trust, outrages against human needs,
pleasure in human degradation, loveless life ... all his. nonono But the song was not swayed by a boy’s sobs or his writhing,
evading noooooo self-impaled on golden notes no escape from knowing unfolding
you must know (no) Death shuddered through Tarhn as he once again tasted and
plumbed his potential to rend the sensitive, sentient fabric of minds, to
ravage others rather than examine himself, to feed upon their uncertainty. To
denigrate, debilitate, degrade, destroy. Song drowned in the anguished howl of evil revealed. Not the Singers. Himself. And in her own moment of sickening revelation, Lyra knew how
true Singers killed. (and we are nothing) The song would be finished, pressuring her with unsung
(futile) notes, half-truth so convincing, so deadly. Her own Unfolding ...
neither difficult not unpleasant, for among Singers the idea and reality of
destruction was merely a tenuous veil across the shining sun of Singer creation
... a half-truth as alluring and as deadly as Tarhn’s. Song pushed, required. Lyra abandoned the linkages and bored through the poisonous
corrosion of self-loathing surrounding Tarhn until she could touch the dying
core of his mind. Then song resumed, coaxing, a simple melody carrying a simple
truth. Potential is not reality. His ability to destroy is equaled by his
ability to create, to give love rather than hatred, to cherish life rather than
dispersion .... harmony explaining that song was instruction, not indictment. The music touched a responsive part of Tarhn, that part of
man which ponders neither evil nor good but has continued life as its only
imperative. His mind quieted, then expanded with the song to examine and hold
each past thought, experience, emotion, and desire. To accept with neither disgust
nor evasion the realities of self through cascading hours of song which grew
from one to many voices until at last he slept peacefully within an integrated
mind and body. A tiny figure which had waited patiently during Lyra’s song
and silence finally stepped forward. “Lyra,” said Jerlis, as gently as if to coax a shy child
into the light. But when Lyra’s face lifted her eyes were terrible golden
ice and her low voice twinned eerily. “Now we are one ... and nothing. Two half-truths joined by
Singer lie.” “You healed his mind. If that is a lie—” “Healed?” Lyra’s laughter made Jerlis’ skin ripple with unease. “I did not finish the song; I no longer believe it. They
lied him back to life ... as they lied me back.” Again Lyra’s laughter crawled over Jerlis. “But now,” said Lyra softly, “there is no one left to lie
for them.” Lyra lifted her hand from Tarhn’s head, then bent to kiss
him. “... beautiful flawed creation. Not your error, my once
love. Nor shall you be my complement in terror.” “Let me help you, Lyra. Let me touch your mind,” said
Jerlis. “Dispersal will help me.” “And the Singers? Who will help them?” “I will. Their creation was flawed, but as they lived in the
radiance of a billion suns, so shall they disperse.” “I don’t understand,” said Jerlis, hesitantly. “I am the first focus this galaxy has known. I shall be its
last.” Rising music smothered Jerlis’ cry, but it was music such as
Jerlis never wished to hear ... long wails twisting and descending in eerie
lament, aching descant of sorrow and regret. And Lyra silent within song that
condensed into flaring energy, concealing her within inhuman keening, sound
beyond understanding wrenching— Jerlis stood alone and anguished. After a long time she went
to rouse Tarhn. Before she touched him, his eyes opened. “We must go, Tarhn. Nothing remains here.” Tarhn sat up and silently measured the extent of the
carnage. Without speaking, he got up and examined the Access controls hidden in
a wall cupboard. His hands flashed across the unfamiliar dials. With
unconscious consummate grace he turned away and swept n’Lete and Bithe into his
arms. He coiled them together and gently laid them in the Access. *When the slizzard wind rises you will be there, on the back
of the white moon.* The Access lights burned incandescent blue. When the doors
opened again, the Access was empty. Jerlis’ sorrow for him was a clear fall of
moonlight, gentle and undemanding. For a brief moment he allowed grief and
comfort, then put both aside. “She’s with the Singers,” he said quietly. “Did she say anything
before she ... left?” He sensed an odd reluctance to speak in Jerlis. *What is it, little mother?* Her surprise gave way to wonder at the piercing clarity of
his mindtouch. Changed, yet familiar, different, yet still Tarhn her son and
friend. “Yes, I’m still me,” he said with gentle amusement. “Who did
you expect to find?” “You move differently now, Tarhn. You have a Singer’s ease
and grace. And your mind—if I had time, I would explore its new textures and
power. Do you know how powerful you are, Tarhn?” “If I’m as powerful as I was blind ...” His words dissolved
into rueful laughter. “Don’t condemn yourself,” “I know. My past is best used to instruct rather than punish
my present. The Singers were most thorough.” “And Lyra ... ?” “Lyra was the leading edge of song. Did yon hear her?” “Just one note rising. Then other voices and she no longer
sang.” “Remember when you tried to integrate my mind?” “That is not easily forgotten! But you don’t have to tell me
what happened, Tarhn. I have no claim or right to your mysteries.” “It was a sad, trivial secret. When the Singer came to Tau,
he sang to our minds. It was an attempt to integrate us. And the first part of
the song made each of us know, really know our potential to destroy. I was only
a child, yet my personal list of atrocities nearly overwhelmed me. It was as
though I was each living creature I had ever harmed. I would have died then,
except for a child’s stubborn trick. I denied the Unfolding. I denied that I
could be evil, that I could knowingly hurt other life. It was the Singer who
was evil. It was the Singer who devoured minds.” “What was the second part of the song?” “On Tau? No one lived to hear it .... or sing it. People
like my gene-mother Clereth either died rather than face themselves, or died
because they had faced themselves. And the Singer ... the Singer dispersed, the
final death, for he lived each wretched revelation, each rending Unfolding.” “But why? Surely the Singers knew what would happen?” “Perhaps. I don’t know. You see, the second part of the song
balances the first. It explains that if you have maimed you can also heal. If
you can hate you can also love. An old paradox, but the song made it fresh and
potent. And now, little mother, tell me what your mind would rather hide. What
did I do to Lyra?” “Don’t you know? Can’t you reach her?” “Not yet.” Tarhn felt Jerlis’ question forming, felt her dismiss it and
return without evasion to the vivid memories of Lyra as Tarhn slept. When she
had finished, Tarhn withdrew. After long silent minutes he heard Jerlis ask him
a question. “I don’t know what she meant, Jerlis. Like you, I’d prefer
to believe she was insane. But, she’s tough. Unbelievably tough.” “She’d have to be. She’s your complement,” said Jerlis, looking
pointedly at the charred corpse which Tarhn had so far ignored. “Anybody I
know?” “Kretan.” “By Xerle’s magnificent Ears,” breathed Jerlis. “That
settles one problem. You’re his only living gene heir. Access Unlimited belongs
to you now.” “No. It belongs to the Carifil. And,” he said over her protest,
“if you won’t have it, then give it to the Concord.” “What about Lyra?” “Will she live long enough to make a claim?” Tarhn asked
bluntly. Jerlis’ ears curled tightly against her skull, then snapped
upright again. “I don’t know. When I left, Elenda was ear deep in Council
politics. There’s a chance she’ll succeed.” “Jerlis,” said Tarhn sadly, “when did you start believing in
miracles?” “I sent a dying son to Tau. When I followed, I found a
living, powerful son and a very dead enemy. I’ve sent some accomplished
assassins after that bastard, Tarhn. For three decades .... So if I’m suddenly credulous,
it’s your doing.” “I wasn’t alone.” “I know,” whispered Jerlis. “I’ll miss your insolent slakes.”
Her eyes dulled, then she said abruptly, “Let’s clean up this mess and get out.
Jasilyn will have my ears for keeping her waiting and worrying.” “I’ll tell her we’re coming.” “Alone? No linked minds to aid you?” Jerlis muttered something about Singer cures being worth the
disease. When Tarhn reached the tough, fiery mind of his friend, he felt
Jasilyn’s surprise and affection and relief—and fear. *Of me?* *No, you arrogant slake—oh Tarhn, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.
They were such beautiful friends .... It’s the Council. Elenda lost. The
Singers. Lyra. Re-hearing soon.* *Scan for an Access within a six unit radius of Tau’s only
personnel—* *I’m sitting on the coordinates now. How do you think Jerlis
got there? We were scanning the known Access for your return and we got an
echo. We were still trying to center it when—* *Kretan came through.* *I’ll set your Access for three transmissions. First Jerlis,
then the sla—sucking zarfs! Two. You follow Jerlis.* Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s anger at her error, and her searing
hope that Kretan had foretasted his own death. Then mindtouch narrowed to a
relay of information without emotion. *Access ready now.* *Access ready,* he confirmed as blue light glowed once again
in the room. *You first, Jerlis.* “What about—that,” she said, indicating Kretan’s corpse. “The Helix genes of Tau are extinct. Let the Gene-Masters
make of it what they will.” “But you’re Helix.” “Extinct.” Jerlis hesitated, then stepped into the Access. Alone in the
quiet room, Tarhn heard the low wail of a slizzard wind and knew the white moon
was rising. “High prey tonight, my friends. Good hunting.” The sound of the waiting Access overrode the wind. Tarhn
stepped forward and left his birthplace in a cold blaze of Helix blue. VIIITarhn stretched his body wearily. In the two days since Tau
he had slept little, though it was not lack of sleep which oppressed him. He
rubbed his hand through his black hair and sighed. “Any luck?” Tarhn looked into the orange depths of Dachen’s eyes, “No,” said Tarhn. “She evades me.” “The Singers?” “They ... how can I explain? They are there, yet not there.
They are suspended in waiting.” “For what?” Tarhn stood and walked to the window. Above him a billion
stars murmured to the darkness. “They wait for Lyra’s command. Their waiting is a slow
chant, like an immense beating heart. Can’t you feel it?” “No.” “They’ll sing soon, when the last waiting has drained into
Lyra and the heart beats with her rhythm.” “Focus,” said Dachen quietly. “Yes. I fear the coming song far more than I fear the
Council’s verdict.” “What can the Singers do? Another plague?” Tarhn turned away from the window. “No. Their starsingers
died in the last one. Starsingers ....” “Do you know what that title means?” said Dachen. “The energy, the power of the starsingers is drawn from a
star the way we draw energy from smashed atoms.” “Can they nova a star?” “Can we?” “Yes.” “Then so can a starsinger. They can do everything that we—” “What is it?” But ignoring Dachen, Tarhn reached out for the Singers, demanding
as Lyra had once demanded their minds. We are here. *What do starsingers do with the energy a star releases to
them?* They create. It is their greatness ... and their
sorrow. *Sorrow? Why?* Ask our focus, our future and our creation’s future. *Creation?* Our children. Children ... memories of Lyra’s certainty that she and Tarhn
were the future of all children, that Singers considered Galactics to be
prodigal children. *What is Lyra? What is your focus?* Half gene-child, our judge. *Are we ... are Galactics your gene-children?* Not yet. *What are you to us?* Your creators. And their anguished song swept Tarhn into the void. He
reached out reflexively and his hands dug into Dachen’s flesh. The Singers
dissolved, dying, dispersing. “What is it, Tarhn?” said Dachen, hands on Tarhn’s shoulders
comforting. Tarhn laughed a little wildly. “I know the answer to the question
of the ages: why are the races of man so alike? Why, on planets separated by immense
distances, did we rise one after another, change and evolve, find each other,
kill and give birth and hate and love, and always search for our differences in
fear of knowing just how deep our sameness was?” Tarhn gathered his reeling
thoughts and tried to explain to Dachen. “It’s what you feared ... savages
against lightships. The Singers have no gods because they are gods. No, not
gods. They can die like men, or even more horribly, more finally. They can be
killed by hatred. They are our creators, and we are murdering them slowly,
terribly. Dispersing them, never to be reborn again.” “Then we are lost,” said Dachen simply. “They must kill us
to survive.” “The mass of Singers cannot directly kill. Starsingers might
be able to, indirectly, but then they disperse. Only a unique Singer ...” “Lyra.” “Yes. Lyra. Focus ... immense creation or awesome destruction,
she once said. I don’t like to think what she meant.” Dachen’s eyes burned umber. “What can we do for ourselves,
for them?” Tarhn hesitated, extrapolated, weighed, answered. “Without
Lyra, the Singers are helpless. They suffer and disperse under the weight of
Galactic hatred. Suicide is impossible for them, though they would die more
quickly if they could.” “With Lyra?” demanded Dachen. “‘... as they lived in the radiance of a billion suns, so
shall they disperse.’” Into Dachen’s mind came a withering vision of Galactic stars
exploding, blooming in a holocaust whose crescendo was song and destruction and
white light consuming the galaxy, Singers’ epitaph. “Is Lyra’s only purpose to destroy?” asked Dachen harshly. “Was
she born only for that?” “She was born to learn, to judge before either creation or destruction.
We—I have driven her, made her what she is now, what she will be.” A look of
pain and listening swept over Tarhn. “The Song. It begins. Can you hear it yet?
A slow threnody like sea waves rising, waiting, waiting for the moon to focus
their massed strength.” “The Assembly also waits,” said Dachen into Tarhn’s silence.
“Come. Let’s do our futile best to turn the tide.” The Assembly chamber was a huge egg-shaped darkness crossed
by a rectangular bar of light. Although the contrast between light and dark defeated
Tarhn’s eyes, he sensed that each seat in the dark gallery contained a fearful,
vengeful, or simply bored Assembly member. With a sudden, smooth motion Tarhn
stepped into the light and sat in the Singer witness chair. He wondered who the
accusing witness would be ... if anyone. Few people wished to be linked in
history with the extinction of a race. The Council filed into the raised, fan-shaped area reserved
for them. Elenda raised her hand for silence. When all were quiet, she would
open the meeting with a centuries old ritual prayer. But before the first word
was spoken, the other witness materialized out of the darkness. Lyra. Tarhn reached out to her mind, seething questions and
hunger. The levels of her mind flowed together fantastically, rainbow promises
yet unborn, wisps of music flickering, beating heart. *Why?* he asked/demanded/wondered while savoring her amber
presence and power growing in her matchless eyes. (the golden eyes of death) *No! Don’t evade me! Why do you speak against your own
people?* *Listen well, Tarhn, that you may know what I know, judge as
I judged.* Her mindtouch was as beautiful as crystal ... and as impersonal.
Even as she turned to speak to the Council he felt the song beginning, knew
that only he and Lyra could hear it. (Lyra why do you turn away?) “It is customary for witnesses to be nameless for this type
of hearing,” said Lyra, her eyes looking at no one yet holding everyone. “It is
also customary that I, the accusing witness, lay my charges and then listen
while the accused witness speaks. I acknowledge these customs. “And I ignore them. I am Lyra Mara, Singer. Mine will be the
only words spoken here.” The explosion of sound that Tarhn had expected didn’t come.
The Assembly and Council sat transfixed in the presence of a Singer. Only
Carifil eluded her fascination and battered Tarhn with their questions. *I don’t know!* he thought fiercely. *Listen to her and pray
to whatever gods remain.* (once was a time when gods walked with men but none remember
for the gods were slain). *Lyra!* But only savage laughter echoed in his mind and he ached
with her cold regret and the burning music of her voice. “We are an old race, older than you can know, older than we
can remember.” Aimless energy coalesced into rock and water, dust and
ice. Random. No life. Potential stretched thin across the darkness, bonded
elements one to the other in clouds of carbon oxygen hydrogen ... roll
call of life. Yet none answered. Planets seethed into quiescence and fragile hydrocarbons
met and meshed into semblance of life, dissolved tragic eons short of
sentience. “Singers came into this galaxy before there was life, before
there was hope of sentience. Singers were the first life, the only intelligence
in this galaxy. Alone.” Across the void between galaxies, a golden filament of
energy touched a barren planet with song. Chanson. Life beginning. “We cherished our new planet, and it regrouped its atoms
into life to feed its worshipers and gods. We grew many in number, great in
power. Alone in the immense barren galaxy. Omnipotent. Omniscient. “Bored.” Lonely. No life to praise other than our own, nor sentience. We
joined in mind and sang of our desire. Our song reviewed the planets of
potential. All was ready, waiting. Empty. Tarhn felt his mind reeling away from the stroke and counterstroke
of Lyra’s words, Singers’ chant. (oh Lyra do not judge them too harshly). And she heard his inner cry. *Now who evades? Listen to us,
Tarhn, know the depth and breadth of creation—and betrayal.* *Lyraaa!* His anguished calling dissolved into emptiness. She was
closed to him and her sweet voice sang relentlessly in his mind. “Singers differ from Galactics in ways both subtle and immense.
We have the power to create, to bond the sliding interface between matter and
energy into life.” We sang to the emptiness. The rising chant wrapped Tarhn in rhythmic beauty, harmony
heard only in dreams, felt only in wonder. Harmony swelling in praise of the
elements of life and of planets capable of nurture. Point and counterpoint
rippled in elegy, flowing miracle of sound and perfection. Then starsingers’
piercing notes leaped upward, surmounted the barrier of harmony and soared in
marvelous dissonance above the flawless melody. And on a thousand, thousand planets life caught and held. “Life seethed in the galaxy. Simple life, vast with sentient
potential. The Singers waited, waited with eons of patience for the evolving
life, praised and cherished each minute move toward self-awareness, individual
intelligence. “But life stabilized far below the threshold of sentience,
much less intelligence. The Singers’ desire for other minds grew, for there is
little to learn from and share with the random motions of mindless life.” Lyra paused, and echoes of chilling laughter haunted Tarhn. “Not an insurmountable problem, surely, for minds as
powerful as the Singers. A simple rearrangement would suffice ... weeding on a
cosmic scale. But even weeds have life. Though all Singers may create life,
none can destroy life with impunity. Even mindless weeds.” Descant keening permeated Tarhn’s mind, rippled through
flesh which still heard chanting. “Yet they desired ... and sang. A hundred thousand planets
stirred. Mountains drowned in seas, swamps cracked into deserts. Continents
split, bleeding new land. Over all moved strange seas and rivers and winds. The
chosen life survived and expanded on their new worlds.” “And starsingers died, even as the weeds.” Mournful chants beat slowly in Tarhn’s blood, thick with
regret and waiting. “for yet more eons. The Singers replenished their numbers,
grew stronger than before. And more alone. At last they called out to
sentience—and were answered by a cacophony of fear and hunger and rut. Was this
the summation of so much power and patience and agony? This wretched idiot
screech? “Their song flashed through colors into incandescence which
scoured golden eyes, scorched golden souls. In arrogance despair they forged an imperative: intelligent life would evolve in
the image of the Singers. On countless planets chaos bloomed, wrenching
dominant life into extinction, opening new horizons for the chosen species.
Restless species which would speak and build and wonder at the cascading stars.
Species whose children would evolve to know and praise the infinite marvels of
life perceived through variegated minds. Species whose minds would at last give
the Singers different knowledge ...” Lyra’s voice shaded from whisper into ironic laughter that
was made terrible by her tears. “... flawed creation devouring its creators. You hated
without sapping your strength; you slaughtered and lived to slaughter more.” We could not soothe the jagged life. Our songs were white drops flung into black flames. We
bled songs and dispersed and the black flames licked ever nearer like space
mindlessly consuming itself. Mindless .... No. Ignorant. Like children before Unfolding, power protected from knowledge. Though our children were never so cruel. Never so ignorant. Even to the least, thought and result are one; sorrow
caused is sorrow felt; love returned is infinite. if you knew you would have “discovered Chanson. The contact people were welcomed,
though their presence was rending. We mourned their blind, maimed minds,
endured their casual cruelty.” Children of our minds let us come among you. Let us know the tortured beauty within you. Let us sing. “And we sang to you as to the children of our bodies. The
song dissolved your mental barriers keeping thought from result. Each Unfolding
grotesque with past brutality, present knowledge, future—none.” We could not understand the monstrous revelations, nor
breast the acid torrent dissolving our minds. Starsingers drowned in destruction. Ignorant. Dispersed through the void. “The results of that song are known to you as the plague.
Those who listened with their minds died. Just death. Mere death. They would
live again, in time.” “But our starsingers will not.” Tarhn felt the beating heart quicken subtly, yet no one
spoke or moved. Then he knew all hearts kept time, beat as one bell tolling an
endless midnight while dawn receded into the void. We must know what our children know. Of black fire and freezing darkness. They live and die
and are reborn in black fames. How? The darkness disperses us. Not them. Why? Must we disperse ignorant into the void? Creation consumed finally. If we could but know our children. Ourselves. “I had thought the starsingers martyrs in the cause of
light. Yet, they were our strongest. They were the only Singers who knew that
creation is change and change is both gain and loss .... destruction. Did they
know also that Galactic minds would shrivel in the light of song? Did they know
and sing anyway, murderers? “You believe they did, and for that you would erase the
Singers from this galaxy. Look to your own children then; look to your own
genes changing. Even now Galactics walk among you whose children will sing
minor songs. And their children more and more until you can’t ignore your own
genes changing. “Yet that is a possible truth: Singers are murderers. Which
are they? Murderers or martyrs? Or is there yet a third possible truth? Did
they try to light the darkness, and failing, allow simple death as a healing
benediction over their tortured children? Time might light the darkness; death
is always the price of time. “My people paid that price, and more. With that costly time
the Singers created a tool through which they might know their children and yet
live to use knowledge. “I am that tool. From my Galactic father came the ability to
survive the licking darkness. From my Singer mother came control over the
interface between matter and energy. The Singers raised me and I shared their
ignorance of Galactic minds. Knowing only creation, I was sent ... here. “Yet even my special genes were not enough. The Singers had
known this; they had known that if I were to judge Galactics I must be a
Galactic, and yet a Singer. I must be complemented. “A man came to me. A Galactic.” Tarhn felt the heartbeat falter, then surge. He
learned/remembered Lyra’s wonder and joy when she had sensed the completion
which waited in him. Tasted her bafflement at the unexpected reluctance, missed
linkages, an agony of jaggedness which would have killed any Singer but her. (i did not know lyra let me) (nor did i no) (seek her she is alone as we never were never could be
focus) Futile cries leaking from closed minds, he could not reach
her. “From him I learned of flawed creation. Singer and Galactic,
betrayed, betrayers, one and nothing. Hear me, Singers .... I can live in the
black flames but I cannot light them. Even with a billion suns I cannot. But I
can release you.” A threnody of regret rising, falling, beating with the
beating heart, beating in his bones, beating, and each beat a sun touched and
known, energy flowing into Lyra, focused. Creation gone awry and deadly. (as they lived in the radiance of a billion suns so shall
they disperse) (we are still becoming Lyra creation is not ended) (it ends now see it) And he saw their galaxy a silver spiral reeling, novas
flaring and feeding Lyra who shaped chant into Song. His own traitor heart
beating time to stars dying. NO He pushed against the pervasive beat, screaming at the
Singers to stop Lyra stop themselves stop. His call fell into the beating song,
returned. We cannot, would not. She is our focus. *She is my complement, Lyra Mara.* A sigh, prolonged pulsing of sorrow and regret. Lyra Mara died in your Unfolding. Shock wrenched Tarhn free of the song. His eyes opened and
he saw Lyra so close—a stranger, powerful and sure. Singer. Focus of blasting radiance
and suns exploding. Must all vanish into the golden eyes of death? Must he go
alone and unfinished, never to savor the supple flesh and mind soaring link
upon link growing to completion (Lyra where are you?) he would know if she were
dead? She could not be dead. He had (sensed) her inner cry, and long ago ... so
long ... his flesh had said what his mind withheld, bodies wise with each other’s
wisdom. Simple touch. Creation unending. *Lyra. I have changed. Know me as we disperse ... if we
must.* Tarhn’s hand touched her face and he reached into the
burning gold and beyond. His mind linked effortlessly with hers, though he did
not feel her. (where are you?) The song returned stronger and he felt his blood pound again
to the inexorable beat of dying stars ... Lyra writhing. At his touch? *Even now, my love?* he thought hollowly. *Even now?* Agony condensing into thought. *... flawed creation,* whispered her mind. *Flawed? Or merely different?* *Does it matter?* she responded quickly, hope smeared across
despair. *Does my touch maim you now? Does my mind?* *No ...* *Shall we end as ignorantly as we began?* Pause beating, beating. *I brought knowledge to the Singers. Now I release them ...
and their tortured children.* Stars extinguishing, pulling a frail thread of darkness
across the galaxy. Soon the net would be stronger, larger, subsuming even the
suns which warmed Galactic life. *Did I scourge all love and mercy and hope from you? Can you
feel only agony, seek only dispersion?* *That is what I was created for! Can’t you feel it, know it?
The Singers were helpless before their own creation. They were doomed to
dissolve in the acid backlash of Galactic minds. Condemned to feel their minds
wasting, dispersing by slow increments into nothing. They could not even hasten
their own dispersal!* *But you can,* thought Tarhn, anger and sorrow mingling. *I must. They erred, yes, but they have paid enough and more
for their mistakes. Would you lengthen their suffering?* *Their error was weakness. We share strength. We know the
black flames, have felt their freezing embrace. If the Singers had known and
been strong, their creation would have been different.* *Different ... but still flawed.* *You can’t be sure. Can you deny hope?* (hope) Waiting beating beating beating (touch me Lyra know completion know hope) Touch him. Hope! *If ...* her thought surged, *if only we ... yes!* Mental linkages came alive as he/she raced to convergence.
Against brooding knowledge and power, lightning emotions flashed, disturbing in
their sudden illumination, fascinating in their beauty. The limitless yielding
was gone, as was innocence, but Tarhn/Lyra did not mourn the loss. Only fools regret the omissions that make a masterpiece possible. Different. Paeans of joy and possibility leaped above the consuming
beat of exploding stars, shaped novas’ chaos into a net of light leaping from
the still living galaxy. For a moment Carifil tasted the wonder of what their
friends were, then the moment and Tarhn/Lyra became a reaching net of light.
Carifil stretched toward the light, yearned, and were comforted by a fall of
song, *We are what your children will become.* Descant farewell swept through Galactic minds. Only Carifil
sensed Singers flowing from the galaxy, lifting and condensing into a single
shimmering line, song pouring across the void between galaxies, seeking,
finding. Aimless energy coalesced into rock and water Dust and ice. Random No life. Golden notes touch a sterile planet Creation singing Life beginning Again. The Singer EnigmaConcord, Book 1 Ann Maxwell 1976 THE TRUTH SEEKER Tarhn had the blood of the rulers of space in his veins—and
a mysterious horror shadowing his secret soul. He knew only that he had been
exiled from the planet where he was born, and raised by an alien race for the
psychic powers he possessed—but what fearful force had stripped him of his
childhood memories and almost of his sanity still remained unknown as he
reached manhood and the challenge he could avoid no longer. Now, as an all-destroying blight spread from planet to
planet, from galaxy to galaxy, Tarhn had to find out the truth about himself
and his past no matter what the terrible cost For if he went on living a lie,
the entire universe would die ... Excerpt from a closed discussion of Assembly Council PA382
(Singer), Councillor Elenda speaking: We are taught that when we lose ourselves on the spiral of
knowledge, it is best to remember where we have been, and why. Let us begin
again with a review of our responsibilities to this Council, to the full Assembly,
and to the Concord. The Concord has only one command: No group shall wage undeclared
war. The Assembly’s primary function is to expel, proscribe, or annihilate
planets that break this command. Did the Singers wage undeclared war? It would seem a simple matter to decide. A group is defined
as three or more persons acting in concert toward a common goal. Undeclared war
is any group act which, in the absence of a Declaration of Intent, results in
the premeditated deaths of more than one hundred Concord citizens within eight
Centrex days. There is no doubt that the Singers fit our definition of a
group. There is no doubt that more than one hundred citizens died within eight
days. There is no doubt that no Declaration of Intent was issued. Only premeditation
is in doubt. The full Assembly could not resolve that doubt. Three thousand
beings from three thousand distinct cultures can rarely agree on the simplest
matters; whatever else the Singers may be, they are not simple. The Assembly delegated the Singer decision to this Council.
We have spent years, many years, attempting to understand the Singers. We have
not succeeded. Fortunately, we are not alone in our search for understanding.
There exists a group/society/entity called Carifil which also sifts nuances out
of ambiguities, seeking the residue of pattern which permits insight into
Galactic events. Though the Carifil have no legal existence under the Concord
Charter, Carifil talents have been very useful to the Concord. We do not know
who the Carifil are, but we do know that they have no single planet home, no
single racial identity, no allegiance except to the Concord. Their information
is not tainted by parochialism. Carifil have been called everything from
assassins to saviors; they are both, and neither. Some Carifil have Attained
high Concord positions, most have no official powers. All have unusual mental
abilities. None is infallible. Which brings us to the Singer enigma once again .... IN’Lete’s urgent, silent call brought Tarhn out of sleep into
instant wakefulness. His mind had overridden the breathing reflex—danger in the
air. In a blur of motion Tarhn ripped nasal filters out of his personal baggage
and fitted them on himself and the slakes. Though the filters looked exactly
like those carried by sensitive Galactic travelers, the filters did more than
block out exotic odors. Tarhn breathed cautiously, but smelled/felt/sensed nothing unusual.
The slakes showed no reaction except relief at being able to breathe safely again. With a few swift motions Tarhn dressed. Unless the slakes’
hypersensitive olfactory perception had sounded a false alarm, someone would be
by shortly. He was more than a little curious to find put whether that someone
wanted him dead or merely unconscious. The slakes were less discriminating. When they heard the
door being unlocked they rose soundlessly on their rear legs and folded their
wings. Their attitude of sharp-toothed eagerness made Tarhn want to laugh
aloud. *Not this time, my friends,* he thought firmly. *I need him
quiet, yes, but still conscious.* The slakes grumbled silently, but when the intruder entered
only n’Lete bit him. And at that she only allowed herself a small bite, enough
to ensure that her paralyzing venom would penetrate quickly. Tarhn caught the man before he fell to the floor, ensuring
that no loud thumps reached curious ears. The intruder wore the standard uniform
of an Adventure crewman. *Others?* By way of answer, the slakes spread their huge wings and
calmly began a grooming ritual. *Good.* Tarhn bent over the man and began to probe. No mind shields
slowed him as he drilled key words into level after level of the crewman’s
mind. It was a technique the Carifil used in psychic integration, but it served
equally well for inquisition. After long minutes of silence Tarhn ended the probe. The
crewman knew little, but what he knew was tantalizing. To him Tarhn was no more
than an ordinary tourist who had passed the afternoon in the ship’s forward
lounge. All forward lounge passengers were to receive a dose of amnesian,
enough to wipe out any memory of the previous twenty-six hours. But amnesian
was unpredictable; different races had varying degrees of resistance to it.
Apparently whoever had planned the operation considered it important enough not
to risk unmeasured doses via the ventilating system. Instead, the victims were
knocked out by an airborne drug. When they were safely asleep, an individually
calibrated dose of amnesian would be administered. Neatly planned. Efficiently executed. But why? Tarhn rapidly reviewed the past day. As ordered, he had
begun his surveillance of Lyra early yesterday. Together with other tourists
bound for Wilderness, they had entered a special Access and emerged on the
sixth planet in the Wilderness system. Then they had embarked onto the Adventure,
a ship on which they were to savor the archaic joys of sublight interplanetary
flight. Lyra had gone straight to her quarters, not to emerge until after today’s
midday meal. He had watched, chosen his moment, and effected a natural entry
into her life. At no tune had he seen or sensed anything unusual, other than
the orange man. And Lyra herself, of course. Tarhn gave a muffled exclamation and injected the amnesian
into the helpless intruder. *Quickly, slakes. We go hunting.* The slakes scrambled onto his shoulders, claws cool and
sharp against his neck. *Gently, n’Lete.* The slake obligingly retracted her claws and wrapped her sinuous
lower body around Tarhn’s neck. Tarhn moved past closed doors in a crouching, weaving run.
Though he could sense no guards, certain precautions were a matter of reflex.
As he neared Lyra’s door he removed a pronged ornament from his belt. Without
hesitation he jammed the prongs deep into the circuit which controlled the
door. A short, low hum vibrated through his bones, then the door retracted part
way. Lyra’s body blocked the door from fully opening. Obviously
she had sensed something was wrong, but couldn’t unlock the door in time. Tarhn sent the slakes out of sight and stepped over Lyra
into the room. He bent down, searching her still body for signs of life.
Neither pulse nor respiration. Skin stiff and cool as a slake’s claws. Tarhn cursed himself for wasting time on the crewman. He
should have come immediately to her. On an impulse he probed her mind. The
probe was easy, so easy; her mind was familiar the instant before discovery,
floating free and light, brilliant with potential, pulsing with subtle rhythms,
more subtle songs. Even as he withdrew, Tarhn felt nearly dizzy with relief.
She was alive. Whatever drug they had given her suspended mind and body, but
did not kill. Someone either knew more about her mind than he did, or was very
cautious. Though alive, Lyra was totally helpless. At the sound of men approaching, Tarhn closed the door silently.
Startled cries and the heavy sound of falling bodies made Tarhn’s lips curve in
an unpleasant smile. He opened the door. *Well done, hunters. * N’Lete rose and flicked the narrow tube of her tongue over
Tarhn’s hand. *Conscious, too. Such restraint!* Tarhn’s praise sent delighted ripples through the slakes’
sinuous bodies. He stroked their triangular heads while he probed the helpless
crewmen. As he had suspected, Lyra was the eye of this storm. One of
the ship’s emergency lifecraft waited. They were to load her aboard, release
the lifecraft to its pre-set course, and report to sickbay for a dose of amnesian. At Tarhn’s signal, n’Lete and Bithe injected enough venom to
keep the crewmen unconscious for several days. Tarhn lifted Lyra easily and settled her across his
shoulders. Not for the first time he realized that being uncommonly big was at
times uncommonly useful. On the other side, though, once in the hallway he
would be a fine target and would gladly trade sizes with a Gallian dwarf. The slakes moved swiftly down the hall. Tarhn waited for several
seconds, then ran lightly after. Twice he had to leap over crewmen sprawled
unconscious across the narrow hall, capsules of amnesian rolling from their
nerveless fingers. Other than those two, though, Tarhn saw no one. It was
unlikely that the decks would be so deserted unless the entire crew had been
bought. He hoped they had. Otherwise there would be an immediate
alarm when one of the lifecraft emerged from the mother ship. Tarhn entered the lifecraft bay at a speed which proved his
trust in the slakes. Nor was he disappointed; they both were coiled proudly
next to their latest victim. *And your last for a time, I hope.* The slakes politely but completely disagreed. *Bloodthirsty beasts, aren’t you?* he thought fondly. N’Lete and Bithe opened their mouths in hissing agreement. Tarhn strapped Lyra into the lifecraft nearest the exit
portal. He yanked out the course tape and switched the controls to manual. *In.* The slakes scrambled. When they realized that Tarhn intended
to strap them down, they clacked their wings loudly. *Hold still or be left behind. * The slakes held still. Tarhn strapped himself into the pilot’s seat. His fingers
moved rapidly over the controls, lifting the craft into humming life. With a final
glance around, Tarhn threw the lever which separated lifecraft from ship. As
the tiny vehicle puffed outward into space, Tarhn breathed deeply for the first
time since he had awakened. “We were lucky, Lyra,” he said softly, “though you’re in no
position to appreciate it. The exit portal was on the sunward side; even if an
unbought crewman or passenger should be foolish enough to look out a portal,
all they’ll see is a great burning sun.” Tarhn held the craft toward Wilderness’ sun. Later he would
change course into a nearly flat trajectory which would put Wilderness between
them and the cruise ship. But now there was little to do but sit, review what
had happened, try to guess why. The assignment had begun in the usual manner—mental alert
from a Carifil, vivid image of whom he was to watch, directions as to the place
he should intercept her. So he had soon found himself aboard the Adventure.
He had discreetly watched over Lyra’s cabin until she finally left it. When she
went to the forward lounge and sat alone, he sat well behind her, waiting to
see whether she had friends or enemies aboard. Although the lounge was thick with people, his quarry was
easy to keep track of. Lyra Mara was a silent amber pool surrounded by flocks
of yammering life. Not so much as a ripple of awareness crossed her face when a
man dyed the last shade of orange sat beside her and attempted conversation. A discreet mental probe of the gaudy man gave Tarhn only the
impression of a fashionable predator seeking diversion from the boredom of interplanetary
flight. Tarhn was not satisfied. His own mind was broadcasting the fiction of a
rich tourist, in case anyone was curious enough to probe. The orange man might
easily be working beneath a similar cover. Tarhn stepped up the probe in stages until it reached the
point of diminishing returns; more information could be gained only at the cost
of revealing the probe to an alert psi. If the orange stranger was other than
he appeared to be, a cursory probe would not uncover him. After a few minutes of listening to the persistent stranger,
Tarhn was ready to believe that he was no more than his mental and physical
surface proclaimed, a vain, mildly intoxicated man of wealth who could not
believe that Lyra was not interested in him. Tarhn chuckled deep within himself. At least the slizzard
showed good taste. Lyra had a tranquil, self-contained beauty that made others
appear garish. Her hair could have been spun of the finest amber and her skin
had-a rich translucence which invited, even demanded touch. And her eyes ...
though he had seen only a vicarious mind-picture of her when he had been given
the assignment, he was certain that no gemstone in the galaxy could match the
red-brown depths of her eyes, much less the tiny starburst of gold which was
their center. Most Galactics had only darkness for pupils. Was the dilating
mechanism the same as his? Would sudden light, interest, fear, or mental effort
cause the gold to expand? With practiced ease, Tarhn brought his thoughts back to
duty. Lyra was undoubtedly attractive, but she was also endangered, dangerous,
or both, and in some way also pivotal to Galactic politics. The Carifil wouldn’t
waste him guarding a nonentity, no matter how beautiful. Tarhn leaned forward fractionally, his senses on full alert.
The orange man was entirely too persistent about getting Lyra to his cabin.
Either he was uncommonly crude or had more than simple pleasure on his mind. With the easy motion of a hunting cat, Tarhn rose and walked
up the aisle. “I am unaware of your home planet,” said Tarhn in high Galactic.
“Is it one on which ceremonial rudeness is practiced?” Perhaps it was Tarhn’s sheer size which made the stranger
speechless. When Tarhn repeated his question in low Galactic, the now furious
man interrupted. “I understand high Galactic better than you,” the man said
loudly. Tarhn’s dark hands lifted in a polite indication of
disbelief, then turned palms up in an apology which was thoroughly negated by
his ice blue eyes. At the same time, the severe planes of Tarhn’s face smoothed
into the expression of one who waits patiently for a dull child to answer a
simple question. “On Danir I would have you killed,” said the man in a
guttural tongue. “And on Tau,” replied Tarhn in the same language, “I would
feed you to the slakes—after you had been bathed. As we are here rather than
there or Danir, I await your pleasure.” “I wouldn’t lower myself to touch you,” said the man. Tarhn bowed and murmured, “Good ... for you.” The insult was doubly telling, for Tarhn had delivered it in
the gutter patois of Danir, a language which a Danirian aristocrat wouldn’t
understand. The stranger’s surge of outrage proved that he had indeed
understood, but to admit it would be a further humiliation. As the stranger retreated, Tarhn turned to Lyra. Looking no
higher than her lips, he addressed her in high Galactic. “I hope that I have not offended you, your people, or your
gods.” “Kindness is rarely offensive,” responded Lyra in the same
language. Her words lacked all trace of planetary accent, but even
more surprising was the quality of her voice. It was rich with muted harmony,
vibrant in a way that made all remembered music pale and flat. Tarhn bowed and turned his hands palm up in the Galactic gesture
of greeting or parting. When Lyra made no further comment, he moved to return
to his seat. Then he felt her fingers warm and light on his palm. “If it would please you to sit with a strange and awkward
woman ....” Tarhn’s fingers returned the pressure of hers, savored the texture
of her skin. “Stranger you may be, but awkward? To listen to your voice
is to know the heart of beauty.” Boldly Tarhn raised his glance to her eyes, only to find
himself caught and held, a fly in amber. “You are kind,” said Lyra, “and your mind is disciplined.
Your presence is welcome.” Tarhn hesitated, then regained control of his wits. His momentary
tension must have relayed itself to Lyra, for she removed her hand quickly. That is what I meant by awkward,” she said softly. “The nuances
of Galactic Courtesy often elude me. On my birth planet a mind both kind and
disciplined is ...” She paused, obviously searching for the right word. “‘Good’
is the only word your language has, but it is a meager analogue.” Tarhn searched Lyra’s face, but could detect no more than
her words told him. He was not surprised that she thought him kind; he’d been
careful to imbue his mental camouflage with that lack of aggression which can
be construed as either harmless or kind. But how had she sensed the discipline
beneath? “I have been called many things; disciplined isn’t one of
them. May I ask why you think me so?” “You don’t invade others with your thoughts. I’ve discovered
that such control is rare out here. I have come to value discipline highly.” Tarhn continued the conversation with just the surface of
his mind; the remainder was analyzing her words. In order to “discover” that
the average person radiates thought/emotion like a star radiates energy, Lyra
must have come either from a planet of psi nulls or psi masters. He would
assume the latter. For one, it would explain Carifil interest in her. For
another, he had been taught to overestimate a potential enemy. Fewer nasty
surprises that way. Not that Lyra seemed a candidate for enmity. By now they
were laughing and talking in middle Galactic, the language of friends. They had
even exchanged names. And the scent of her nearness was as clean and heady as
flowers at dawn. In spite of himself, he felt pleasure creeping through him,
and not even the sternest self-reminders diminished his growing ease with her.
Lyra’s laugh alone was worth the sudden assignment. His residual irritation
with Carifil vanished. Though they had called him away from his first freetime
in years, being ordered to stay close to Lyra was ample compensation. At last Tarhn’s conscience pricked him hard enough to get results—n’Lete
and Bithe would be hungry. Lounge rules forbade “pets,” though Tau slakes could
hardly be classified in the same category as Libern velvets or Sthian lap mice. “I’m sorry, Lyra, but if I don’t feed n’Lete and Bithe they
will gnaw through my room and come hunting for me.” Lyra responded with a phrase from Courtesy which showed
confusion, but did not demand an explanation if he did not wish to give one. “According to lounge rules, they are pets. On Tau, the
children of the Helix are given battle slakes to raise. N’Lete and Bithe are
more companions than pets. Would you like to meet them?” “Oh, yes,” said Lyra, giving him a delighted smile. “On my
planet there are no animals.” After a long moment Tarhn said neutrally, “No animals?” “None. Many plants, marvelous plants. But that’s not the
same. To have flesh live and not be human!” Lyra’s voice left no doubt that such a miracle was to be savored
and explored. Tarhn filed that incredible fact under the growing mental
category called Lyra Mara. He wanted to ask the name of her home planet, but
that would be a curdling breach of Courtesy. Better to wait, grow closer, observe,
as the Carifil had trained him to do. And they had trained him well. Not so
much as a flicker of incredulity escaped his mental discipline. He was almost as wary about communicating his appreciation
of Lyra’s radiant grace. He thought of complimenting her, but said nothing out
of fear that she would be offended. “I’m not,” said Lyra softly. Though Tarhn’s walk never missed a beat, his mind flashed instantly
into defensive silence. “I’ve been clumsy again,” said Lyra. “Forgive me. Your mind
is deeply disciplined, yet ...” She stopped and lifted her strange eyes to his. For a moment
Tarhn felt swept by vertigo as he looked into the widening gold at the center
of her eyes. Then the feeling passed and he found himself listening tensely to
her. “... No word for it here. Complement? Yes, but more. Far
more. Ease and rightness and creation.” When there was no lessening of his mental barriers, Lyra lowered
her eyes and said sadly, “Of all the aspects of Courtesy I don’t understand,
the injunction against truth is the most baffling. I know our minds would be
unity, one with the other, as surely as I know we are man and woman. Yet I must
say nothing or risk offending you. I risked and lost. I will offend no further.” Tarhn watched her walk away, divided between profound relief
and a numbing sense of loss. Out of the turmoil which passed for thought came
the certainty that whatever else might pass, Lyra had told the truth as she
knew it. He would bet his life on it. He already had. The realization that there lived a psi who could easily
penetrate at least the outer levels of his mind moved through him like a shock
wave. Abruptly he turned toward his cabin. What had been a quiet
cruise on an amusingly archaic spaceship had turned into a trap. No Access. No
way for the Carifil to replace him. No way to escape. Tarhn paused in midstride, surprised by the intensity of his
emotions. Just what was he escaping from? A beautiful woman who found him desirable?
A terrible crime, surely, punishable by extended, intimate confinement with
him. He debated going after her and apologizing for his rudeness,
but a cold thread of unease held him back. He tried to pursue the thread, to
discover its source and thus know whether it was tied to real or imagined
threat. But the thread was born of patterns he had avoided so long that they
were inaccessible to him now. With a surge of impatience at his coy mind, Tarhn started
swiftly after Lyra. Whether the danger was real or not, he had a job to do. “Lyra,” he said, catching up with her. “Let’s forget
Courtesy for a while. It’s more suited to people who have little in common and
less common sense.” When she hesitated, he added, “Minds as ... perceptive as
yours are rare. You surprised me. I’m not used to being surprised. I reacted
badly.” Lyra’s sudden smile told him that the contact was retrieved. “My slakes are still hungry. Are you still interested in
seeing them?” In answer, Lyra put her arm through his and leaned lightly
against him. The subtle moonlight scent of her skin made Tarhn take an
involuntary breath. Instantly she pulled back, fearing she had offended him.
Tarhn’s arm tightened, holding her close. “I like it this way,” he said, leading her back down the passageway. “Let’s start again,” he said lightly. “Though born on Tau, I’m
essentially a Concord citizen. I’ve lived on twelve planets and visited many,
many more. Cultural variations seldom surprise me, and the only thing which
offends me is intentional cruelty.” Lyra moved her right hand in an unmistakable gesture of approval. “Good,” he said. “Now. The most logical, rational approach
for us would be to use your cultural norms, at least until we understand each
other well enough to make our own private rules. Agreed?” he said, stopping and
facing her, “Yes.” Tarhn smiled and allowed his fingers to touch her . shining
hair. She tilted her head slightly toward him, inviting further touch. “I assume that touch between strangers isn’t tabu in your culture,”
he said, enjoying the cool, sliding pressure of her hair between his fingers. “Tabu?” “Forbidden. Or at least discouraged, hedged with rituals and
social distance.” “Oh, no. We have no tabus on—” But instead of naming her planet, Lyra simply repeated that
there were no tabus. “We also have no word for strangers,” she added
thoughtfully. “At least, not stranger in the sense carried by the Galactic
word.” Tarhn’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “Semantics. The curse
of man. What would the word stranger mean in your language?” “Nothing, for we have no strangers. Your fingers tensed,
Tarhn. What’s wrong?” Tarhn was amazed by her acute perceptions; his fingers hadn’t
tightened enough to register on a Carifil bio-monitor, yet she had known immediately. “Just surprise,” said Tarhn lightly. “It’s hard to
understand how, on a planet with a population large and advanced enough to join
the Concord, there would be no strangers.” “Then imagine what a surprise the galaxy has. been, and
still is, for me. Since leaving home, you’re the first person I’m glad to be
close to, even with your baffling sharp edges. No, that’s not fair. I must be
as unexpected and jagged to you as you are to me. Yet in so many ways you feel
like a—like one of my people. I keep forgetting you aren’t.” Tarhn looked into her intent amber eyes, gold-centered,
serious and inviting, and wise and confused, and wished for an instant that he
had no reason to know Lyra other than the sweet reason that he wanted to. But he was Carifil, and he had many reasons, some of them unclear
even to himself. He took Lyra’s hand and resumed walking, slowly. “I’m surprised you left your planet,” he said. “It was necessary.” When Lyra didn’t elaborate, Tarhn went back to the subject
of strangers. “Even though your people aren’t strangers among themselves,
didn’t they consider the Galactics to be strangers?” “Not in the sense of alien. We called them otherwise. Our
word has no exact analogue ...” She frowned in concentration. “Is there a word
in Galactic for children who have strayed, but still retain the potential to
return and be unity again?” “Lost?” “No, that’s too accidental and too final. The straying has
an element of choice, more mental than physical. Although, of course, physical
distance often follows mental distance.” Tarhn laughed suddenly. “Prodigal children. Nearly every culture
has its own version of the child who grows and/or goes away from its cultural
values. After various experiences, the child comes to accept the values it was
born with.” “That’s it,” said Lyra. “We call the Galactics prodigal children.” “Then you believe that Galactics should embrace your
cultural values rather than their own?” Lyra hesitated, then gestured agreement. “In some senses,
yes, but ...” Tarhn waited. “Do stars embrace the way of light rather than darkness?”
she asked finally. “Hardly. By definition, a star is matter which radiates
energy within certain wavelengths.” “Exactly. Galactics will realize, as you do, that
intentional cruelty is as ... as ... oh, you’re right, semantics can be a.
curse!” she said, smiling yet serious. “Intentional cruelty is like a star
choosing darkness—not impossible, but highly improbable. A violation of what it
means to be a star.” “You have a difficult culture to live up to,” said Tarhn,
stopping before a closed cabin door. “Not for them. My people.” “Oh?” said Tarhn, pausing as he removed a key from his belt. “Yes. For example ... I’ve heard that Galactics, some of
them, can physically destroy—murder? is that the word?—that they can actually
murder another person.” “It’s been known to happen,” said Tarhn grimly. “And the one who murders lives?” “It varies from culture to culture, but most often the murderer
survives.” Lyra’s hand made a curt Galactic gesture of negation-from-disbelief. “At home, only a very few of my people could even hold the
thought of murder. And of those few, even fewer could carry the action out. Not
one of them could survive it.” Tarhn smiled without humor. “If all planets were as
efficient, and lethal, at catching their murderers, we wouldn’t have a problem
either,” he said, inserting the three-pronged key into the lock circuit. “I wasn’t clear,” said Lyra. “The one who murders—murderer?
yes—the murderer would die as a result of the act, even if there was not one
other person in the universe to know or catch him. To take another’s life is to
negate your own.” “That philosophy isn’t unique to your planet.” “It’s not a philosophy,” said Lyra patiently. “It’s a fact.
Like gravity.” “Then,” said Tarhn, twisting the key in the circuit, “yours
would be the only known planet in the galaxy where philosophy had the
inevitability of universal constants.” “You don’t believe what I’m saying, do you?” “Intellectually, I concede the possibility of anything,”
said Tarhn carefully. “Emotionally ... well, let’s just say I find the whole
idea improbable.” “As improbable as I find the idea of animals?” asked Lyra,
with no rancor in her tone. Tarhn laughed and his impatience fell away. If Lyra wanted
to believe her culture was perfect, and perfectly good, why, he’d once made the
same mistake about his own culture. She would soon discover that no culture condoned
intentional cruelty to one’s own kind. Of course, the definition of just what
constituted “one’s own kind” was sometimes very exclusive. “Come on,” he said. “I’d like you to meet two animals who
are more improbable than most, A warning, though. They’re predators, and quite
proud of it. While they certainly won’t harm you, I’m afraid their delight in
the predatory state might offend you.” “Do they think as we do?” “Ummm. Let’s say that they’d never intentionally harm someone
they care for. It’s just that they care for so few people.” A smile flickered over Lyra’s lips. “I left my planet to learn; perhaps they have something to
teach me.” Tarhn sent a quick, tightly shielded mental command to the
slakes. When the door opened fully, they stayed wrapped about their ceiling
perches instead of launching themselves across the room in their usual
greeting. He heard Lyra’s murmur of surprise as the slakes turned and examined
her with startling blue eyes. “But they’re beautiful,” she said softly. “Such eyes, like
yours.” The slakes rattled their wings slightly; blue light cascaded
off the scaled patterns on the wings. “They don’t frighten you?” said Tarhn. “Oh no. Such beauty.” She looked at him suddenly. “Should I
be frightened?” A small smile came to Tarhn’s lips. “Some call them the deadliest
animal ever to be allied with man. And most people find them ugly. Or at least
unattractive.” “Then I must see differently than most people. How do the
slakes move?” “Very quickly,” laughed Tarhn, holding out his arm. N’Lete
flashed off her perch and coiled securely around his arm and shoulder. “You must be strong, to hold her weight so easily,” said
Lyra, measuring the slake with her eyes. “She’s nearly as long as you, though
very thin.” Tarhn wondered how Lyra had known n’Lete’s sex, but let it
pass. “Slakes have a low density,” said Tarhn, stroking n’Lete’s
long neck. “On Tau they glide and, when forced, fly on the shoulders of the
wind. And the wind always moves, swift and deep. So they have little need for
heavy muscles to power their wings. Their bones are hollow and their skin and
flesh are light, resilient, yet very strong.” N’Lete opened her mouth wide and air rushed hissing through
serrated teeth. Two long fangs folded down from the roof of her mouth. “Yes, n’Lete,” he said, chuckling, “I was just leading up to
that.” Then Tarhn stopped smiling and looked at Lyra. “Perhaps you won’t find
them so beautiful when I tell you how and what they eat. If my description ...
disturbs you, I’ll stop.” Lyra said nothing, waiting and watching him with clear amber
eyes. “The two long teeth (fangs) are hollow. When she bites, a
drug flows through the teeth into the veins of her prey. The prey immediately
is paralyzed or tolled, depending on the amount of drug n’Lete pumps in.” Tarhn
watched, but other than a slight dilation of gold Lyra showed no reaction. “Why,” she said slowly, “do they kill?” “Food. Slakes must eat.” “Are there no plants for them? No ... you have no word for it!”
she said wonderingly. “Symbiosis? Yes. No.” Lyra paused, searching. “Let me describe
what I mean. On my home planet, there are many plants. Some of them are
fulfilled by nurturing us. Slow trembling delight that the fruit of their
bodies mingles and becomes one with ours. Is it like that out here?” Tarhn hesitated, then plunged. “Yes and no, Lyra. Some Galactics
are sensitive enough to the lives and needs of plants to sort out which plants
give willingly and which give only because they can’t get away. But most
Galactics don’t have that sensitivity. All they have is their rumbling stomachs.
If a plant or animal isn’t lethal or very quick, it is eaten. It has always
been this way. The survival imperative. The biosystem of every known planet is
based on it, civilizations are based on it, and individuals accept it with
varying degrees of distaste or pleasure.” Lyra said nothing for a long time; her mind and body fairly
hummed with concentration. In the sudden silence, he remembered the lyrical
voice, subtle music that should have been alien but was more familiar than the
texture of n’Lete’s tongue sucking soothingly against his palm. Once he thought
he heard music, a rhythmic exchange, dispersing. But it must have come from
outside the cabin, for inside all was quiet. With utmost delicacy, he attempted
to eavesdrop on Lyra’s thoughts, but the rhythmic music disturbed him. “Teach me more.” Tarhn started. “About the slakes?” “Any aspect of unity describes the whole.” “What?” said Tarhn, then as he felt the mist of sweat on his
skin he realized just how hard he had tried to penetrate Lyra’s thoughts. Unsuccessfully. He gathered his fraying concentration and returned to the
slakes. “Tongue ... yes .... her tongue is basically a straw with
rasping edges. She sucks the blood from the paralyzed prey, then shreds the
flesh finely and swallows it. Not all of the flesh, unless the wind is strong
enough to lift her and her meal to a safe place, a place where she may lair up
until her body transforms enough of the prey that she can lift and glide on a
normal wind.” “Safe? Then slakes, too, are hunted as food?” “A grounded slake is as good as dead. There are many predators
on land, all of them hungry.” “And the plants ... ?” Tarhn turned his hand palm up. “It takes energy to live. Few
plants offer as much energy, unit for unit, as flesh. Survival again.” Lyra’s eyes were as opaque as her thoughts for a moment,
then she said, “May I touch her, or her mate?” “Bithe thought you’d never get around to him; he was getting
lonely. Here,” said Tarhn, bracing her with his free arm, “hold your arm out as
I did.” “I thought you said they were light.” “They are, but—” Tarhn steadied Lyra as Bithe swooped onto
her arm and shoulder. “—they push off hard,” finished Tarhn. Bithe and Lyra studied each other for a moment, then Bithe’s
tongue flicked out and tickled Lyra’s nose. “Behave yourself, Bithe,” said Tarhn. Lyra laughed delightedly. “No, let him touch as he pleases.
He’s not heavy at all. Like lightning ... all power and movement.” “And danger,” muttered Tarhn. But not for Lyra. She had a
voice and touch that would charm a rogue slizzard. When Lyra’s fingers unerringly found the patch of skin under
Bithe’s wing that forever needed scratching, Tarhn realized that Lyra must be in
some type of rapport with the slake. He probed discreetly, but neither of the
animals had the sluggish mind and muscles that betrayed an animal under mental
control. And Bithe fairly rippled pleasure at finding another pair of hands
that knew where he itched. Tarhn sighed inside himself; the Carifil weren’t
going to be happy when they found out the qualities of Lyra’s mind. Or were
they? Maybe they already knew. Maybe— “Sorry, Lyra, I wasn’t listening.” “The slakes. They enjoy the touching, but I sense they would
enjoy it more after they’re fed.” “Getting nervous?” “Not about Bithe,” smiled Lyra. “n’Lete is less tolerant of
hunger and strangers. But, to raise young in the world you’ve described, I
guess intolerance would be useful.” “Necessary.” “Yes ... but she is grace and blue fire just the same.” N’Lete’s sinuous body rippled. “Keep talking,” laughed Tarhn. “You’ve just made a convert
to tolerance.” “Vanity?” “It’s more complicated than that,” said Tarhn, stroking n’Lete’s
head with his fingertip. “She knows she is the culmination of five thousand
years of Helix breeding. She’s just pleased by your discrimination.” Lyra ran her fingertips lightly down n’Lete’s back. The
slake’s head lowered fractionally in response. Then both slakes jumped to the
floor. They waited, wings folded, balancing on their rear legs and long tails. Tarhn opened a travel bag and brought out a handful of synthomeat
strips and two soft bottles of clear fluid. “How often do they eat?” said Lyra, her eyes never leaving
the slakes as their serrated teeth quickly rasped the meat into paste. “It varies,” said Tarhn, poking open the bottles. “The more
active they are, the more they eat. This will hold them for about two standard
days. Longer, if they don’t get some exercise. They need water every day,
though if they must they can go without longer than I can.” Quiet sipping sounds made a counterpoint to Tarhn’s words.
The sounds increased in volume as the liquid diminished. “What will they do now?” “Sleep, if we let them. Incurably lazy,” added Tarhn,
laughing softly. The slakes ignored him, except to request a lift to their
perches. Tarhn obliged, throwing them lightly upwards. “Have you eaten yet?” he said to Lyra. “Or is public eating
not a practice among your people?” “We eat when and where we are hungry. Usually twice a day. I’m
hungry now.” “Ship food? Or did you bring your own?” “Ship food.” Tarhn wondered whether she ate meat, or even realized what
meat was, but decided to wait and see. When he saw that Lyra was reluctant to
leave the slakes, he took her hand and led her to the door. “They’ll still be here after we eat,” he said. “Then you’ll let me see them again, talk ‘with them, and
touch them?” she asked eagerly. Suddenly Tarhn believed, really believed, that Lyra had
never known animals; her fascination was genuine, as was her delight. He
supposed he would feel the same if someone had introduced him to a pair of
walking, talking rocks. “You can move in with them if you’d like,” he said,
laughing. “I’d like.” Her childlike directness echoed in Tarhn’s mind as they
strolled to the nearest eating room. Maybe that was the explanation of the
enigma surrounding her: she was a child. Never mind her woman’s body, her
subtle sensual heat. She was unwary, direct, inexperienced. A child, untouched
and uncomplex. Now if he could just fit her finely honed mind into that comforting
picture .... Reluctantly, Tarhn filed the problem under “later.” He
needed more information. Much more. “What are you doing?” he asked. Lyra opened her eyes, but left her hand suspended over a
dish of food. “Selecting my meal,” she said. “How does passing your hand above the various dishes help?” Lyra looked at him as though he must be joking, then
realized he wasn’t. She pulled her hand away from the food hurriedly. “Is my way of choosing offensive?” “Not to me. Just unusual.” “You’re sure? What about the other people?” “I’m sure. How does it work?” Lyra’s hand resumed its station above the food belt. “It’s very simple,” she explained, moving her hand slowly
down the row of dishes. “My mind and body have certain energy structures,
patterns. Some foods would destroy the patterns, some would merely disrupt or
dull them. Others would give energy to the body, but would slight the mind. Or
the reverse. And still others would be suited to both mind and body. Ah, there,”
she said. “That’s animal flesh,” he said, curious to see her reaction. She wasn’t surprised. “I guessed it might be, after what you
told me; it’s rich with potential for my body. Without this,” she said,
indicating a dish of raw vegetables, “the flesh would drag on my mind.
Together, the foods balance each other. And with this,” a pink globe of fruit
was placed on her tray, “a willing gift from a living plant, my meal is
complete and complementary.” Tarhn’s hand reached for the same foods. “I assume they
would do as well for me?” “Don’t you know?” Then, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be
rude. How do you usually choose?” “Taste and experience.” Lyra closed her eyes and moved her hand from his temple to
his fingertips without touching his skin. Tarhn’s curiosity was nearly painful,
but he said nothing. “Your methods have been good,” she said finally, “Your patterns
are rich, complex, and pulsing with strength. Yet ... may I choose for you?” “If you explain your choices.” “Three of this fruit,” she said. “Willing food is rare out
here. And this ... is it flesh again?” Tarhn nodded. “A sea creature.” “It will fill your body. And ...” her hand hovered over the
ranks of vegetable dishes, finally selected raw and cooked roots. “To balance
the flesh. Now, something to relax you,” she murmured. Tarhn followed Lyra down the curving wall of food. Her hand
hesitated over the condiments for a moment, then picked out a paper of finely
ground seed pods. “How do I eat that?” he said, not recognizing the seasoning. Lyra spoke over her shoulder as she led him to an alcove. “Sprinkle it on the fruit.” “What does it taste like?” “To you, it will be elusive, sweet and sour, very good. You
need it,” she said sitting down. “To me, it would taste quite bitter. But don’t
eat any more of it for at least nine meals. It would begin to taste bitter, so
bitter that your body would reject it.” “All that from waving your hand over it?” Lyra looked perplexed, then smiled hesitantly. “Is my way of
gathering information so different from yours?” “Reading energy patterns isn’t a common way of learning.” Lyra paused, savoring the taste and texture of the fruit. “I
suppose not,” she said thoughtfully. “Reading patterns requires deep
integration of mind and body. Most Galactics are in a state of dynamic
disharmony with themselves. Yes ... disharmony.” Tarhn watched as Lyra seemed to recede inside herself, viewing
her insight into Galactics from all angles as a child views a bright new toy.
He tried eavesdropping, but was not surprised when he learned nothing. Whoever
trained her mind was a match for Carifil masters, Tarhn sprinkled the ground pods over a section of fruit and
took a cautious bite. An elusive refreshing taste rose from his tongue and
filled his mouth. The seafood she had selected was one of his favorite
foods—the succulent flesh of a Thininden crab. The roots were unfamiliar, crunchy,
and delicious. He ate slowly, enjoying the blend of familiar and unfamiliar
flavors and textures. When Lyra returned from her intense concentration, he
praised her choices; then said, “Could you teach me to choose as you do?” “Yes ...” “But? Is it secret learning? Tabu?” “Oh, not at all. It just requires joining minds while I
educate your reflexes.” Her eyes searched his face, then she made a gesture of
negation-and-regret. “I should have guessed there were tabus against two minds joining.
Every other source of pleasure out here has strange rules too.” : Tarhn remembered his blithe words about abiding
by her cultural norms and felt vaguely ashamed. “Your culture has no tabus
about the mind? Not even if the other mind might be unwilling?” “Unwilling?” said Lyra, subtle distaste coloring her voice. “When
I first came out, I found all kinds of minds reaching into mine. It was ...
horrifying. No discipline. No peace. No restraint. Chaos. I learned to shield myself.
I would not go through that again. Even willing minds aren’t always compatible;
sometimes the patterns can only lightly touch. Anything deeper would be uncomfortable,
even damaging. Joining two minds is not a casual thing. I would not have suggested
it were I not sure that our minds were deeply harmonious. We are always careful;
disharmony can he dangerous.” She hesitated, then added, “I’ve never
experienced a basically compatible mind that was nonetheless reluctant to share
with me. I think it would be destructive, like fighting against yourself. I
have no desire to find out whether I’m right.” “In other words,” said Tarhn evenly, “as long as I want
mental privacy, I’ll get it.” “But of course,” said Lyra. “And physical touching?” Lyra’s puzzlement was obvious, and disconcerting. “The same.
When we touch, our patterns also touch. There’s only as much pleasure as there
is harmony.” As Tarhn examined the ramifications of all that Lyra had
said, he suddenly felt disoriented, the way he had sometimes felt after a training
period with Jerlis. Everything he had learned about Lyra seethed inside his
mind, half-real, half-mist, inchoate. All he was sure of was that he needed
time to integrate new facts with old realities. As though she sensed his saturation, Lyra said nothing more.
When they finished eating, she led him to her room. Her whole manner wordlessly
conveyed that he was free to sit or sleep or think or talk or leave, whatever
he wished. Her unruffled acceptance of his need for quiet reminded him again of
Jerlis. Or perhaps Lyra understood him for the simple reason that
she, too, needed time to absorb her new experience; Tarhn shrugged off his peripheral thoughts and began a
series of mental exercises which both relaxed and sharpened his mind. When he
was ready, he reviewed what he knew about Lyra Mara. Then he extrapolated from
these facts. But the process was unusually difficult; no significant probability
could be assigned to even the most simple extrapolations. Not enough facts. His subjective impressions weren’t much help either. She was
too wise to be naive, too naive to be wise. If she was lying, he lacked the
skill to detect it. If she was telling the truth as she believed it, the people
and culture who spawned her were chillingly unique. Yet nothing is truly
unique. Only the lack of information makes it appear so. Tarhn released his concentration. Although he hadn’t brought
order to chaos, he felt no frustration. In fact he felt good, better than he
had felt for a long time. The image of pink fruit sprinkled with rich brown spice
surfaced in his mind. He smiled and stretched, savoring the unusual feeling of
humming relaxation. IIBut that had been yesterday, and now it was time to make the
course corrections for Wilderness, and he still had no more idea of who else
was hunting Lyra than he had had when he first stepped aboard the Adventure. As he completed the corrections, Tarhn sensed a change in
Lyra. Her pulse beat visibly in her throat and her breasts stirred with deeper
breaths. He touched her skin lightly; warm, pliant. She would be awake soon. The most delicate of probes touched his mind. Had he not
been trained to catch just such overtures, he would have missed it totally. Helpfully, Tarhn thought about their recent escape. This
must have satisfied Lyra, for she never went deeper than the first level of his
mind. And Tarhn was certain that lack of ability hadn’t circumscribed the
probe—anyone who could use and learn from such a fragile mindlink was a psi
worthy of respect. “Awake now, Lyra?” he said casually. Lyra’s eyes flickered open, then closed again. “You’re safe, for now,” he continued. “But you must have
made some high enemies in your lifetime.” Lyra’s eyes snapped open, showing enlarged golden starbursts
against the dominant amber color. Simultaneously Tarhn sensed a quantum leap in
her mental awareness. Then both gold and awareness diminished to their former
levels. “What do you mean?” she asked in high Galactic. “We’re beyond Courtesy,” said Tarhn bluntly. Lyra was silent, eyes again closed. “You can keep your secrets. And your enemies,” said Tarhn. “After
we land on Wilderness you can contact your people and have them pick you up.” “I’ve no people who will help me,” said Lyra slowly. “Nor do
I have personal enemies.” Tarhn’s metallic blue eyes flicked over Lyra. “You’re either stupid, innocent, or a liar. Your mind is too
well-trained for you to be stupid.” “And what about you?” Tarhn found himself confronted by her compelling eyes. “If I wanted to hurt you, I’m sure going at it ass first.
But whether you trust me or not, you’re stuck with me for a while.” “Obviously. Why?” Lyra no longer spoke in high Galactic. Instead, she used the
language of friends. Tarhn took it as a hopeful sign. “You could say I’m curious,” said Tarhn. “What else could I say?” “Who’s after you, and why?” “I don’t know.” Tarhn accepted that—for the moment. “Maybe this will help. Whoever it is owns at least part of
the Adventure’s crew. Probably the whole lot.” “I doubt it.” “Why?” said Tarhn sharply. “I own Adventures Excursions, among other things.” “What other things?” Silence. Her lips, eyes, and mind were closed tight. Tarhn
was on the point of risking a probe when she finally spoke. “We’re entering the atmosphere.” Tarhn’s attention snapped back to the control console. Lyra
couldn’t have seen the meters, yet— “You’re right. How did you know?” Lyra gave no indication she had heard, nor did Tarhn have
the time to press her. The approach was fast and the landing hot. In the hands
of an unskilled pilot, either would have been fatal. “Kerdin poor place to land,” muttered Tarhn as he freed the
slakes and launched them into flight. “What could be wrong with this place?” said Lyra dreamily.
Her body radiated relaxation as she spoke softly of great stone mountains
surging above the quiet alluvial valley, of the intricate symphony of animate
and inanimate life, of predators and grazers and plants murmuring over the
sustaining earth. It was not so much her words which held Tarhn spellbound, or
even the endless beauty of her voice. It was her mind. For an instant she had
been open, clear, a sentient window looking on a planet that was both intimate
and eternal, infinitely complex yet as simple as rock and flesh and fiber. And Lyra’s eyes two starbursts of gold. “What’s wrong with the place?” he repeated harshly,
surprised by his own roughness and by the current of fear running sudden and
cold and deep within him. “It’s the hunting continent.” “Hunting? Wilderness is a preserve.” “It’s taxed as one and is supposed to be one. But—” he gestured
impatiently. “Killer animals from fifty planets have been dumped on this continent.
For a fat price, the killers of a thousand planets hunt them.” Lyra’s face paled and lines of revulsion made her appear suddenly
old. Beyond what his eyes told him, Tarhn sensed her total rejection of the
concept of killing. His strange panic left as quickly as it had come. “Lyra,” tie said gently, “we’ll probably have to kill
animals to eat and perhaps men to survive.” Gold stars flared in Lyra’s eyes, small, brilliant. “If you have to kill or die, which will you do?” he demanded
roughly. Starbursts pulsed and the hair along Tarhn’s spine stirred
to an unheard melody. Then gold and melody vanished. “I will do what is necessary,” she said, her voice as flat
as its innate depths would ever let it be. For a moment Tarhn felt as though she were speaking to someone
else, but there was no one else to listen, “Good. I’d be a fool and a murderer to take you out of this
lifecraft if you were incapable of defending yourself.” “I don’t like destruction.” “Did anyone ask you to like it?” “No. They only asked that I endure.” Tarhn hesitated, then turned and began removing equipment
from the lifecraft’s many compartments. Most lifecraft were supplied with food,
clothing, water, medicine, and weapons. The weapons interested Tarhn right now,
but he couldn’t find a single one. Finally he discovered a small lasgun. buried
beneath a miscellaneous pile of junk in a rear cupboard. The gun was old,
scarred, and contained less than half a charge. “Hope it’s enough,” muttered Tarhn. After he and Lyra had carried the equipment away from the
lifecraft, Tarhn launched the slakes and motioned Lyra away. “Stay here.” Tarhn crouched behind the lifecraft’s open door and fired at
the control panel. Within seconds the panel flared and belched noxious smoke.
Tarhn held the firing stud down until the charge was exhausted and the panel
fused into an amorphous lump. “Why?” said Lyra when he returned. “Homing signal. When the lifecraft leaves the mother ship
the signal locks on and stays on as long as the lifecraft controls are intact.” “Then we’ve been followed.” “Maybe. A signal does no good unless someone listens for it.
But why bother? With the lifecraft’s range, Wilderness is the only place we
could be. All I did was ensure that no one will ride down the signal and pick
up our trail immediately. They’ll have to hunt for the lifecraft now. And
unless they have metal scanners handy, they’ll have a long, frustrating time of
it.” “But now we’re trapped here.” “We were trapped on the ship,” said Tarhn dryly. “I prefer being
trapped on a planet. More room to run. And the sooner we start running the
sooner we’ll find a permanent hunting camp.” “And then?” “We use their spacecom and pray that my friends find us before
your enemies do.” “There’s hunting on Wilderness; is there also an Access?” Tarhn didn’t show his surprise. He knew of at least one
Access on Wilderness, left over from the days when Wilderness had belonged to
the Carifil. But to find out where the Access was and whether it still operated
he would have to contact the Carifil. And as long as Lyra was close by— “You’re learning fast, Lyra. I’m sure there is an Access somewhere.
The hunters are rich, lazy, and impatient. But they’re not fools. They wouldn’t
risk getting caught near an illegal Access. I’d gladly risk it, but I don’t
know where the Access is.” Lyra did not answer. A relaxed tension had swept over her
body, leaving only her eyes untouched. Tarhn recognized the physical signs of
high mental effort, sensed the power which dilated time and starbursts until
both and all were caught in the growing moment, expanding ... Tarhn closed his eyes and fought the pervasive energy which
seemed to well from the very earth and focus in her half-gold eyes. He felt the
cold thread of panic return and multiply until a new pattern was woven, a fresh
curtain concealing. With a final twisting shudder of his mind he was free. By
the time Lyra spoke he had even regained a measure of control. “There are two Accesses on this continent,” she said softly. “Two? Are you sure? How do you know?” “Two.” Tarhn didn’t press; he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. “Can we use one of them?” “Yes. The farther one.” “Why that one?” The turn of Lyra’s mouth suggested disgust, yet the
prismatic beauty of her voice didn’t change. “The closer one is ... destructive. You may use it if you
wish.” “But you won’t,” said Tarhn with exasperation. “How long
will it take to get to your Access?” “I don’t know. It’s on the other side of that mountain
range.” Tarhn’s eyes followed her pointing finger to the awesome
thrusting stone wall which paralleled the valley. “Sweet gods. You’re sure you won’t use the closer one?” “I’m sure.” “Did you find out anything else?” “There are two or three hunting parties between us and the Access.” Tarhn knew that, at least, was certain; the slakes had
already spotted two groups. “Anything else?” “Animals. Many and vicious. But—” Tarhn waited, then prodded. “But?” “They won’t attack me,” she said reluctantly, “or you, if we
stay together.” Tarhn burned to probe her mind, to find out who and what she
was, but prudence/fear restrained him. “All right Lyra. We’d better get started. You’ve chosen a
long trail for us.” He handed Lyra her backpack of emergency equipment and set
off for the distant mountains. They had been walking for less than an hour when
Tarhn realized that the journey would be much shorter than he had thought. The
knowledge gave him little pleasure as he watched a small flyer settle nearby. “Friends of yours?” he asked dryly. “I have no friends out here.” “Not quite,” said Tarhn, probing the minds of the man and
woman who slowly climbed out of the craft. “You have two admirers stumbling
along under stukor, wanting only to carry you off and get to know you.” “Stukor? Is that a person?” “A mind control drug. Illegal, of course, but effective. One
unit and the person is yours, until the dose wears off.” At her blank expression
he felt impatience flare. “But you wouldn’t know about such things, coming from
a perfect culture.” His impatience vanished as he considered their options. “Well,” he said finally, “we can always run. Outcome
doubtful. Those two will follow us with the mindless obsession of a crosset on
a fresh scent. If they don’t catch us, more people will join the hunt; the new
hunters might not be programmed as nonviolently as these two. There’s almost no
possibility of making it to either Access before we’re caught. So let’s be
docile, play their moron’s game. They have orders not to harm you in any way.
They expected only you; they’ll see only you.” At her look of bafflement, Tarhn explained hurriedly. “Stukor. No flexibility. If reality deviates from their
orders, they ignore reality.” All Tarhn could do was to alert the slakes to follow him. Controlling
stukor victims was impossible, even for his mind. Their master, however, might
be more amenable. Unnoticed, Tarhn slipped into the flyer, found space to sit
next to Lyra’s pack in the small cargo area. He shrugged off his own pack and
settled down to the business of picking what he could out of the captors’
minds. By the time the flyer settled near an obviously new hunting
camp, Tarhn knew little more than he had before he entered the flyer. The man
and woman had been prepared to accept Lyra unconscious or conscious, in the
lifecraft or away from it. If she resisted them, they were to drug her. She was
not to be harmed. As the flyer’s canopy split open, Tarhn counted fifteen
guards around the flyer. Too many to control; too many to fight. Perhaps he
should have waited and followed Lyra. Perhaps. But there was no assurance that
her captor would keep her on Wilderness. Once through an Access, she was lost
without a trace. And she must be kept under the eyes of the Carifil. Tarhn imprinted the layout and geography of the camp on his
mind in the scant seconds he had of remaining life. Simultaneously, he took a
certain grim pleasure in knowing that the death cry of his mind would set off a
Carifil search which his killers would not survive, Lyra would survive, though.
She must. *No matter what happens Lyra, be calm. You are safe. You
will stay safe.* Before he could find out whether her confusion came from unexpected
mindtouch or the message he gave her, a guard spotted him, stared. Then shock
and undiluted terror radiated from the guard’s mind. Her hands flew to cover
her pale gray eyes. She bowed deeply over her trembling fingers. “Mercy, highborn. If this crawling creature had known, it
would not have disgusted you with its slizzard eyes.” Even while part of his mind raced at the implications of
being addressed in the language of Tau, the tongue of his childhood, Tarhn
responded easily. “Helix eyes see all without disgust. It will continue
precisely as instructed.” The woman withdrew, nearly falling in her haste. Orders in
low-voiced pig Galactic flew to the other guards. When Tarhn stepped out of the
flyer the guards ignored him, while at the same time taking extreme care not to
block his path. Tarhn followed the procession at a leisurely pace, unasked
questions crowding his mind. The camp was small; the translucent central dome looked subtly
skewed, as though it was not yet at ease on its new foundations. In the center
of the dome was an empty Access platform. Tarhn stood aside while discreet
guards brought pillows for his and Lyra’s comfort. When they both sat down, a
guard stepped forward and rubbed a small damp pad across Lyra’s forearm. In an
instant she was unconscious. Tarhn controlled his immediate impulse of outrage; his own
position was too precarious .. Until he knew whether Lyra’s captor considered
her Helix or slizzard, he could only ignore hen With an effort, Tarhn concentrated on the platform. He knew
that portable Accesses were mathematically feasible—the equation being no
different from that describing a permanent Access—but he hadn’t known it was
technically possible. The area above the platform became a deep lambent blue, Tau
blue, Helix blue. When the light faded, the man on the platform appeared as a
towering shadow figure, thick and strong, cloaked in gold and distance. His
eyes had a forceful blue life of their own, and on his shoulders rode two
battle slakes. It was the slakes, even more than the man’s eyes and the
rich cape, that told Tarhn exactly who had captured Lyra. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler,” said Tarhn clearly, “Acting Helix
of Tau.” Kretan betrayed no surprise at the ritual greeting. Rather
his face fleetingly showed the pleasure of a man who has lofted his slakes
after one prey and seen them return with two. “Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler, gene-son of my full sister’s
half-daughter, Conditional Helix of Tau.” The ritual greeting and bland smile made Tarhn
uncomfortable. His discomfort increased when he realized that Kretan was
totally impervious to mindtouch. There was none of the elusive, impenetrable
feel of a shielded mind, nor the tangible solidness of a mind chained by drugs.
Kretan was simply and irrevocably ... null. Psi blank. Unreachable. Like trying mindtouch with a mountain. “A maturity ago in Clereth’s womb, your genes showed great
promise, greater even than mine. Physically, at least, the promise has been fulfilled.” Tarhn heard Kretan’s smooth voice as though at a great distance,
for his whole being was bent on reaching into Kretan’s mind. “Why didn’t you return to Tau to be proclaimed First Helix?”
continued Kretan in his passionless tones. “Is it that you are as mad as your
gene-mother and my full sister were, and therefore unfit to be First Helix of
Tau?” Tarhn abandoned the idea of controlling Kretan and rallied
his mind for the more useful task of winning, or at least surviving, the ritual
battle of words. “Had I returned, your servants would have killed me,” said
Tarhn, matching his tone to the older man’s. Kretan’s index fingers locked and unlocked in a gesture of
agreement Tarhn hadn’t seen since he was a child. “The necessity of your absence or death is past,” said
Kretan. Tarhn knew better than to comment, though the stretching silence
had the effect of pressuring him to speak, to explain why he was in Kretan’s
camp with the alien Kretan had planned so carefully to abduct. But on Tau,
unasked explanations were the sputterings of a weak mind. Tarhn resisted the silent pressure. Kretan’s fingers locked again, remained locked. Deep in
Tarhn’s mind, that part of him which had expected and accepted death relaxed.
Kretan had accepted him as an equal—for now. Carefully, Tarhn refrained from looking at Lyra, blissfully
unconscious on scattered pillows. Until Kretan indicated what her status was,
Tarhn could only ignore her. Kretan stepped off the platform, then lofted his slakes
toward two translucent ceiling perches Tarhn hadn’t noticed. At Kretan’s swift
movement, there was a ripple of Helix blue from the lining of his lavish cape.
The names of all Kretan’s Helix ancestors flashed in delicate gold wire. The supreme
genotype which Tau could claim was written in the cold blue flare of Helix
stones. It was Tarhn’s own name that struck blue lightning. “The mating cape,” observed Tarhn. “I thought never to see
it beyond the winds of Tau.” “A maturity is a long time,” said Kretan. “The first
maturity is longest of all. We shall talk, Tarhn a Haman n’Ahler. Then I will
know who wears the Helix cape.” “My sanity awaits your instruction.” The ritual response appeared to please Kretan, but without
mindtouch Tarhn couldn’t be sure. Kretan’s expression changed in a manner more
suited to microscopic measurements than to the unaided eye. “I hear your words; their sanity accords with mine.” Apparently that was a signal, for the guards withdrew. Not
that Kretan required guards—his battle slakes could dispatch even armed men
with silent ease. Tarhn thought longingly of his own slakes, but knew it would
be hours before they retraced the path of the swift flyer. At least Kretan’s
psi-blankness had one good aspect; he would never suspect the clear mental call
which would guide n’Lete and Bithe to the camp. Whether Tarhn slept or spoke,
the call would go out, ending only with death. A servant appeared with cups of sweet spring water and
dishes of chilled fruits. After Tarhn had sampled both, Kretan began to talk.
Though he was speaking with a putative peer, Kretan’s accents and sentences retained
the stilted flavor of Tau’s command dialect. Tarhn decided that Kretan
had spoken in the command mode of Tau for so long that he was unable to fully adjust
to speech between equals. “Were you taught of Tau’s history before the Plague?” “I learned what every Conditional Helix must learn,” said
Tarhn, allowing his voice to become that of a person reciting a prayer; “Before
there was Concord there was Tau. Of all planets known, only Tau bore a race
with the wisdom and genius to perfect their future through the genes of their
children. It is the honor and burden of the Helix strain to guide Tau in its
ceaseless quest for the Supreme Helix. All dreams, all desires, all lives are
secondary to the goal of genetic perfection.” “Clereth trained you well, in spite of her madness.” Tarhn said nothing; the memories he had of his gene-mother
were few and unpleasant. “My sister was also mad,” said Kretan. “Your sister was a First Helix.” Kretan’s fingers moved in agreement. “When the Gene-Masters
told her of the bankruptcy of Tau’s gene pool, she was sane enough to know that
chance or induced mutations would not suffice. She displayed her Helix genes
when she accepted the necessity of off-world breeding, an idea both
revolutionary and inevitable. She betrayed her genes when she chose war rather
than Access as the means of hybridization.” “The Access was not yet built,” observed Tarhn. “No,, no more than a child is ‘built’ at fertilization. In
both instances the potential is a measurable reality.” Tarhn’s fingers locked in silent agreement. “Flerhan’s wars drained Tau,” continued Kretan. “Worse, they
were futile. As my first Access partner pointed out, the wages of war are
penury. Yes, Li’mara made me pay for the use of his money.” It took much of Tarhn’s training to sit quietly through
Kretan’s history of the rise of Access Unlimited. Nothing in the older man’s
tone suggested the sheer weight of Galactic misery caused by Kretan’s
inexorable pursuit of power and the Supreme Helix, the billion families broken
and scattered through the galaxy as planet after planet sold a portion of their
population into virtual slavery to raise the price of an Access installation. “As with all the other great empires in history,” said
Kretan, “mine began with and grew upon a foundation of vision, power, and
opportunity. The vision was Tau’s, the power and opportunity were the Access. “The Access is my net. With it I seine Galactic gene pools,
choosing and combining genes. Ultimately I will breed a race which will
consummate the possibilities of Galactic genotypes.” Tarhn listened and tried not to think of the people who had
lived and died in misery that Kretan might pursue his goal. The “five year” conscripts
from each planet became six and eight and ten and then a lifetime of penury and
sweat under harsh alien suns. Not many planets complained when their conscripts failed to
return after their allotted time—poverty and prisons had supplied most of the
conscript labor. If a planet had a belated resurgence of conscience, AU made
searches for individual conscripts, but such searches among billions of people
took time. Years. If the planet persisted, some conscripts would eventually be
found; the remainder were listed as dead on a thousand unknown worlds. As for the conscripts themselves, they rarely revolted.
Kretan organized his operations with the exquisite precision of a psychosurgeon.
He never took from his expanding corps of interplanetary conscripts so much
that they had nothing further to lose by rebelling. Kretan knew that when a
person’s life has been peeled down to a few fragile, translucent layers, those
layers gain inordinate value. Conscripts learned obedience ... or death. “My most enduring problem has been trying to make Galactics
understand the vital nature of my goal. Few had the intelligence to sacrifice
willingly for their children’s future. It is unfortunate that with all our Galactic
machines, we have yet to replace the womb. Even my best engineers failed.
Children born, yes, but they never reached their genetic potential. Insanity
was the norm. I was forced to continue working with individual Galactic wombs.” Tarhn shifted position fractionally, but Kretan didn’t
notice. “In spite of difficulties, Access Unlimited expanded geometrically
in the first years. When my first partner died, control of AU passed to me. The
first conscript planets were opened, ensuring a supply of workers and wombs. “To my deep disappointment, as Li’mara’s heir grew it became
obvious that he was mentally incapable of pursuing the Tau goal.” Tarhn’s mind leaped within his still body. Daveen had been a
Carifil, but even that had not saved him from Kretan’s assassins. Tarhn vividly
remembered the psychic cry, the search, the living death on a Proscribed planet
.... “Did you not live with Li’mara’s half-son, Daveen?” “I knew him.” “Genes, but no sanity. His foster mother diminished his potential
to the point that his mind could not understand the vision of the Helix. “I had heard that his foster mother was also yours,” added
Kretan in tones that were as assured and dangerous as a stalking svarl. Tarhn’s savage thoughts of the many times Kretan’s assassins
had tried to kill Daveen, Jerlis, and himself did not show as he answered
neutrally, “Jerlis protected my youth.” “Yet you are not warped like Daveen ... ?” “I am here,” said Tarhn, then wondered if that was much recommendation
for his sanity. “You are here,” agreed Kretan, “The egg is ripe, the sperm
is active. Now we must see if together they can create the Supreme Helix.” At last Tarhn could glance toward Lyra. His mind knew that
she was awake and listening, though her posture had not changed. At his silent
request, she gave subtle signs of being awake. “I had hoped to examine her for flaws before she was conscious.” Her, not it. The dignity of a personal pronoun. Certainty
crystallized in Tarhn that Kretan had selected Lyra to be the gene-mother of a
new race; Tau’s long growth would come to fruition in her womb. And while Tarhn
had many reservations as to Kretan’s sanity, he in no way underestimated his
uncle’s genius. Tarhn looked at Lyra with new eyes. “Then we are but one child away from completion?” said
Tarhn. “If not her half-children, then her quarter-children.” “I assume enforced rest was necessary before you told her of
her honor?” asked Tarhn smoothly. Kretan showed his first sign of discomfort. With elaborate casualness
he selected and ate a ruby fruit. “On Tau, such means would be unnecessary,” said Kretan. “Unfortunately,
I have learned that not all women, or men, appreciate the necessity of raising
the generic level of their children. I have accommodated my means to their
irrationality.” Which was as pleasant a way to sum up his uncle’s
rape-and-slavery methods as any Tarhn could imagine. He tried to think of an
equally delicate way to tell Kretan that he was fit only to suck zarfs, but
polite words failed. Tarhn kept silent, thereby increasing his advantage over
the older man. Kretan turned away and addressed Lyra in Galactic. “You are awake. Have you learned from our conversation?” Lyra sat up and faced Kretan with no sign of malaise. She
spoke before Tarhn could coach her. “I have learned nothing that is new. I am a unique child of
my people, as Tarhn is of his. Together we can be unity. In our unity waits the
future of all children.” Tarhn’s respect for Lyra increased geometrically. With a few
words she had the old bastard humming like a sated slake. No forced pregnancy
for her. And her tone of utter simplicity, her prismatic voice joining all
words into a blinding white truth. *Beautifully done, Lyra. * *It is the character of truth to be beautiful.* Her reply set up strange resonances in his mind, but he was
too concerned with measuring Kretan’s total reaction to worry about his own. If
Kretan was obsessed with becoming gene-father to an imagined future race, Tarhn’s
future could be measured in seconds. If Kretan would settle for the role of
foster parent, however— “She is as discerning as a Gene-Master,” said Kretan after a
long silence. “With my own genes a Supreme Helix is possible; with your genes
it is a certainty. When I am fully satisfied with your mental stability, the
mating will occur.” Kretan rose and mounted the platform. The slakes plummeted
to his shoulders as the blue light rose. Tarhn watched Kretan disappear in a blaze of Helix blue and
thought about the many ways there were to shorten a man’s life. Painfully. *Please ...* Lyra’s mindtouch conveyed agony. His violent thoughts vanished
in concern for her. *Are you hurt? Is it the drugs? * *No.* Her relief sighed through his mind. *Your thoughts ...
but they are no longer.* Yet the memory of pain still lingered in her eyes. He
gathered Lyra to him, comforting, and her warmth was a subtle song against his
body. For an instant he wondered who was comforting whom, then dismissed the
thought for more urgent ones. * Kretan is deaf to mindspeech, more than a little insane,
but far from stupid. We must appear to communicate normally, but if we talk we
must tell him nothing he doesn’t already know. I’m sure he has listeners
posted. * It was easier not to talk than to monitor each word. They
lay down beneath the now dark dome. His last thought before sleep was of the magnificent
texture of her red-gold hair curled against his cheek. IIIWhen Tarhn awoke, he could see only one of Wilderness’ three
moons overhead; early night. His mind automatically reached out for what had
wakened him, assessing possible dangers. Lyra asleep was a gloaming rainbow of
light; the others in camp were only flickers of awareness. Kretan-hadn’t returned;
his mind would be unmistakable, a dark star, immense power turned in upon
itself. Further out two minds slept, familiar in their narrow intensity, his own
slakes. He praised them without disturbing their rest, then resumed searching
for whatever had awakened him. Where? That soft whisper, a desert wind sweet with promise
of rain. So far away, so ... familiar ... Tarhn’s apprehension vanished in a
gust of silent laughter; he reached out with all the power of his mind,
completed the link. *If I could touch you I’d pull your ears,* came Jerlis’
clear thought, bright with apprehension and affection. *You have one of the
most difficult shields to evade that I’ve ever had the discomfort to work with.* Even as Tarhn savored the mixture of emotions in her mindspeech,
he couldn’t help wondering why Jerlis had contacted him. And not just Jerlis ...
behind her thoughts was the silent strength of linked Carifil minds, his
friends. *I’d be flattered, little mother, but I’ve a feeling that
you’re more interested in the amber woman who sleeps beside me.* *She is safe?* *From physical harm.* *You?* *Safe ... for now.* *Tell us.* At Jerlis” words, Tarhn’s memories of the time since he had
first seen Lyra unreeled with stunning quickness. There was a moment as waiting
minds digested, categorized, extrapolated, then— *Conclusions.* Tarhn’s response was a good deal less coherent this time.
Jerlis was not asking for something as simple as the physical movements of Lyra
and himself. Jerlis wanted all that he had felt and thought condensed into a
few succinct probabilities by which she could measure his and Lyra’s
actions/thoughts in the immediate future. He tried *Xerle’s Ears, Tarhn,* came the half-laughing, half-irate
reply. *I’ve had cleaner reports from backward children.* *It would help if I knew where she came from, why we guard
her, why—* *She hasn’t mentioned her home planet? You have not guessed
it?* *No and no.* Jerlis’ satisfaction oozed across the mindlink. *I’m glad
her ears are straight.* *Why—* *Sorry, Carifil. No one, not even you, must know what she is
until you bring her to us.* The total conviction of Jerlis’ thought, with its aura of
great possibilities and even greater dangers, silenced Tarhn. He was still
curious, of course, but he trusted Jerlis. He could wait. *If it weren’t for my slizzard uncle, you would have had her
within a Centrex week. What would have been more natural than that I bring a
new friend to meet with old ones?* *She would have come willingly?* Before Tarhn could reply, Jasilyn slipped from her role of
supporting link to active link. *Have you looked at Tarhn lately, Jerlis?* *Not as thoroughly as you, I’m sure.* Laughter surrounded Jerlis’
thought. *Your point is accepted.* *Has she accepted your point, Tarhn?* At his laughing negative, Jasilyn’s thought became tinged
with exasperation. *By the Tortured God, no wonder your conclusions were
contradictions! Limited mind contact and less body knowledge. You lazy nuft. Or
is she from one of those peevish cultures?* *I don’t think so ...* *As useful, and pleasant, as body knowledge might be,* cut
in Jerlis, *Tarhn is in no position to go exploring.* *Any position ...* Jasilyn’s thought became laughter and
memories. Tarhn couldn’t help remembering, and responding. *Shut her up, Jerlis.* Jerlis, amused but determined, maneuvered Jasilyn back into
a supporting—silent—link. *Our conclusions,* resumed Jerlis crisply, *are
simple. Don’t attempt to force Lyra’s shields; it could be fatal to one or both
of you. We have set the Carifil Access, the one Lyra chose, for two plus
slakes. If you haven’t reached the Access within three Wilderness days, we will
come and get you.* She must have sensed Tarhn’s curiosity—why wait, Kretan
might have other plans—for she explained. *We want to be silent as a listening ear this time, Tarhn.
Nothing to connect her or you to either the Carifil or Concord. The less noise,
the least suspected. In this, at least, Kretan seems to agree with us. Also ...
don’t pass up a chance to kill the old zarfsucker. But don’t jeopardize Lyra’s
safety, or your own.* *Killing slizzards is always a pleasure. Unfortunately, I
don’t know where in the galaxy this one is.* *We’ve had the same problem for many years. Be lucky, Tarhn.* The link dissolved into echoing silence. Tarhn checked the
sleeping guards quickly, then more carefully. Stukor again. He should have guessed by the pale guttering
of their awareness. Kretan took no chances. Probably the guards were programmed
to make kerden sure no one left the dome. As for the dome Access—sudden death
for anyone but Kretan. Fortunately, Kretan hadn’t known about n’Lete and Bithe,
thus he couldn’t take measures against them. *Awake, friends. You go hunting.* The electric eagerness of the slakes brought a smile to
Tarhn’s lips. He sent a detailed description of the dome, and as much about the
surrounding camp as he had seen. *To all but Lyra give the bite-without-death. Swift, deep, silent.
They must sleep through darkness and light and darkness again. Fly in, my
friends; there are traps for walkers.* Tarhn waited, breathing lightly, listening though the dome
deadened all outside noise. When he saw neither awakened guards nor sudden
lights, he relaxed slightly. As he hoped, the guards were probably programmed
only to respond to dome or perimeter alarms. To Tarhn’s surprise, the dome door was not connected to any
alarm; apparently he and Lyra were to have the freedom of the compound. If
Tarhn tried to escape, it would prove his insanity. Cunning old zarf. When the slakes appeared beside the open dome door, Tarhn
praised them, stroking their sinuous blue bodies until they rippled with
pleasure. *Bithe, guard her, Lyra, until I return.* With a swift glance around the dome, Tarhn moved noiselessly
toward the largest structure in the camp. The windows were retracted to allow
air circulation—and slakes. Tarhn pulled the triple-pronged tool from his belt
and tinkered with the door mechanism. The door opened silently. N’Lete brushed against his legs as she surged down the rows
of hammocks, checking each guard’s body for the bittersweet scent of slake
venom. Satisfied, she folded her wings along her body. Tarhn didn’t even glance at the guards as he moved quickly between
the hammocks. Behind the first partition he found only kitchen machines. The
second partition had only sonic showers and chemical toilets. Behind the third
partition was what Tarhn sought. Security machines. He scanned the bank of equipment and his breath came out in
a loud rush. Labels! Each machine had a panel explaining its function and
maintenance requirements. “Kretan will wish he’d never used untrained conscripts,” muttered
Tarhn as he read each panel. “Ahhhh.” With a few deft flicks of his fingers, Tarhn could turn off
all camp power to the Access, including the backup system. If there were no
alarms. A big if. The Access could still be med from the other end, though, for
the power source was far off-planet. But no electrical alarms or messages could
pass from camp through the Access to Kretan. Tarhn touched nothing, turned his attention to the last
machine; its function was to monitor the camp flyers. As he read the panel, Tau
obscenities muttered into the night; the camp flyers would lift only if the information
channel to the Access was open. But if the channel were open Kretan could
easily track each flyer. He could probably even take over control of the flyer
with some sort of override signal. Yes ... Kretan would have something like
that. Give the people you are uncertain about just enough freedom to prove themselves
guilty. Kretan wouldn’t trust water to be wet. Tarhn’s mind raced over the escape possibilities. Take a
flyer, hoping that they would reach the second Access before Kretan could
override. Very low probability ... an unauthorized flight was probably what
Kretan was waiting for. In fact, as long as the Access was intact, they were
neatly trapped. And destroying the Access would warn Kretan that something was
wrong. Of the two, he preferred a defunct Access. *Sorry, Jerlis, but I’ll have to make a few small noises.
Lyra and I need at least two days to reach our own Access on foot.* Tarhn signaled n’Lete and ran noiselessly back to the dome.
Bithe’s blue eyes flashed coldly in the moonlight before the slake returned his
attention to the sleeping Lyra. With a quick twist, Tarhn removed his ornate metallic belt.
The pronged tool disappeared back into the belt’s design. Tarhn held the belt
thoughtfully for a moment, then began stripping selected components off the
belt. He had to disable the Access with one fast stroke. No time for finesse,
for disguising the sabotage as a mechanical malfunction. It had to be final and
irreparable from Kretan’s end of the Access. Unfortunately, the compressive Tarhn would be using was
known as one of Carifil invention. Kretan would know immediately who his
enemies were. Tarhn’s belt became a long wire studded with pale green
nodes. A sophisticated assortment of tiny tools glittered on the floor at his
feet. When the wire was long enough to wrap once around the Access platform,
Tarhn shaped the remaining wire and tools into a wide, ornate arm band. As he
slid the band up underneath his tunic, he spoke softly to Lyra. She murmured,
sat up. Her hair rippled and shone like fluid amber, her eyes were sudden gold.
He thought he heard an eerie questioning beat of music, but knew she had spoken
with neither tongue nor mind. He moved uneasily, listened, heard nothing. He
would have dismissed the incident as imagination under stress but for the
slakes; their heads were tipped up to Lyra in an air of expectation and response.
He opened his mind to theirs, but found neither concern nor unease, only
relaxed pleasure. He stifled a surge of irritation/anger/fear before it reached
the slakes. It was bad enough that he had irrational flashes; he certainly had
no need to upset the slakes with them. “We’re leaving,” he said as he wrapped the wire in a single
loop around the Access platform. His voice sounded harsh to his own ears, so he
tried to be more civil. “It would be safer if you wait outside the dome with
the slakes.” Her questioning look did nothing to settle his nerves. “You do realize that you were Kretan’s prisoner, don’t you?
I don’t know what your customs are, but out here prisoners escape as soon as
they can.” At her look of confusion, Tarhn snapped, “Of course, if you want me
to die, we can just stand on our thumbs and wait for Kretan.” “It is not your deathtime.” The clear voice, the white truth, rasped Tarhn’s mind. Her
eyes were pure amber now, deep and mysterious. “I’ve offended you,” she said quietly. “How?” “I don’t know. It’s not important, and probably not your
fault.” One-third truth, two-thirds lie. Both knew it, but neither
mentioned it. Tarhn waited until she and the slakes were outside before he
set off the compressive. A thin, high sound and the Access was neatly sheared
in half. Tarhn shoved the upper half awry, gave a grunt of satisfaction. It
would be a while before Kretan could get a new Access into place. Lyra said nothing as she followed him through the compound,
watched him further disable the flyers. He searched several buildings before he
found their packs. “Which way is your Access?” he said as he handed her a pack. “To the left of the moon, high on the shoulder of the jagged
peak.” Tarhn measured the distance and wondered if even three days
would be enough. Alone, yes. But Lyra was an unknown quantity. At a silent signal, n’Lete scrambled into Tarhn’s arms. He
held her, concentrating on the mountain, the need for speed and secrecy. Then
he launched the slake upwards with a powerful stroke of his left arm. At the
top of her arc, n’Lete’s wings snapped open, beat with a slow strong rhythm,
scattered blue sparks in the silver moonlight. When Tarhn looked away from n’Lete’s flight, Lyra had her
pack on and was walking quickly toward the first rank of foothills. Tarhn made
no move to take the lead, she had chosen the exact path he would have. By the
time they crossed the first hills, n’Lete should have returned with advice as
to the best route up the mountain. *Up, Bithe.* Tarhn distributed the slake’s coils around the pack and his
shoulders. Bithe hissed and sucked gently against Tarhn’s neck. *Afraid I’d make you walk, weren’t you? Well, my friend, it’s
not a free ride. You’re on guard duty.* Bithe quit teasing and rested his narrow head on top of
Tarhn’s. The slake’s nostrils expanded hugely as he sifted the cool night air
for scents of danger. Tarhn’s long strides covered the ground quickly, yet Lyra
stayed ahead, moving with a lithe grace that looked too beautiful to be so
quick. As he watched her, he realized that her night sight must be almost as
good as his—moonlight alone could not account for the ease with which she
evaded obstacles. After a time the second, then the third of Wilderness’ moons
culminated their slow-motion chase across the dark sky. The last moon had
barely disappeared before the first translucent promise of dawn grew in the
northwest. As the promise deepened, the hills began to thrust more urgently at
the sides of the mountain. Brittle grass gave way to rock and scrub bushes. The
steep land ahead was seamed with granite and dryness and dead stream courses. Tarhn lengthened his stride until he was beside Lyra. Though
they had rested only once, briefly, through the long night, Lyra’s walk was
still as swift and strong as his own. He touched her arm and pointed to a
jumble of rocks. “We’ll eat there. N’Lete should be back soon.” As Lyra moved
toward the rocks, Tarhn wondered why he hadn’t used mindspeech. He was reluctant,
but why? And something else ..... Bithe had not caught scent of a single
predator all night. Not one. Yet Tarhn knew this was the hunting continent,
justly famous for its imported panoply of vicious animals .. Then he remembered
Lyra’s statement that no predators would harm her. Tarhn moved suddenly, jumping at a shadow. Bithe grumbled a
complaint and leaped to the ground. Tarhn sat on a flat rock and ate mechanically, drank
lightly, barely looked at Lyra, N’Lete’s arrival was a relief from the dark
silence. He concentrated on the slake, drawing information from her slowly and
thoroughly. He stroked her folded wings as he chose the best trail. “See that high ridge,” he said finally. “The one just
turning red in the light.” Lyra followed his finger. “Yes.” “Beyond it is a small, shallow bench valley watered by a
spring. We’ll sleep there. Ready?” In, answer, Lyra stood and adjusted her pack. Tarhn waited
for a word of protest, the valley was clearly a full day’s hike, but Lyra simply
studied the terrain in the strengthening light. After a moment, she began climbing
with her easy, springy stride. *Feed, Bithe, but don’t lose us.* Tarhn launched Bithe, watched the slake claw his way upwards,
seeking the thermals that rose with the sun. He arranged n’Lete around his shoulders
and pack, then caught up with Lyra. After a short time, he went ahead of her,
his stride more lope than walk. He held to the pace even after the beautiful,
brutal sun climbed high and hot over the brittle land. Tarhn knew the pace was punishing; he rationalized it as necessary.
He neither slowed nor spoke during the hours it took them to traverse the
rumpled foothills. At last he paused on a high, rocky outcrop and looked over
their backtrail. Not so much as a bird moved over the land. Lyra wiped the sweat from her eyes and flexed her shoulders
against the pack. Her breasts rose and fell rapidly, underlining her fatigue.
Tarhn waited for her to complain about the pace he had set. When she didn’t, he
felt suddenly ashamed. She had done nothing to earn his anger. He was behaving
like a half-gened bastard while she showed the qualities of a Helix. He stepped behind her and eased the weight of her pack onto
his arms. “Need to rest?” he said. “Thank you,” said Lyra, sighing and flexing her back gratefully.
“Is it safe?” Tarhn hesitated as he watched silver drops of moisture slide
down her neck. “If you can,” he said finally, “we should get more land
between us and the camp.” “Then I can,” said Lyra simply. She took the full weight of the pack again and began the
long climb which would take them to the first jutting spur of time mountain. He
followed her silently around huge boulders and brittle plants cooking under the
merciless orange sun. Sweat soaked through Lyra’s loose tunic until it clung
along each sinuous line of back and legs. When they had breasted the first low mountain ridge, Tarhn
stopped. Lyra’s clear amber eyes looked at him hopefully. “Yes,” he said, lifting her pack off. “It’s finally rest
time.” Lyra sighed and pulled the irritating tunic away from her
skin. “Does your culture have any nudity tabus?” she asked suddenly. “It might,” laughed Tarhn, “but I don’t.” “Praise the billion stars,” breathed Lyra and stripped off
her clothes. “Ahhh,” she said, opening her arms to a cooling breeze, “everything
is worth this moment.” Tarhn agreed. For the first time Lyra laughed unrestrainedly, a haunting
twin-toned song which moved him as deeply as her sun-browned body. Her eyes
lifted to his, neither bold nor shy, and for an instant he saw himself as she
did: a mysterious, powerful man focused in glacial blue eyes; a mind of pouring
power and cutting edges, yet richly compatible; a fine body whose ability to
give and receive pleasure she would gladly discover. And her voice redolent of regret saying, “But the climb to
the Access is long.” “We won’t always be climbing.” Tarhn felt Lyra’s hands light as flame on his shoulders,
then she moved back and bent to retrieve her tunic. “Either we leave quickly,” she smiled, “or not at all.” Tarhn’s fingertips traced the line of her chin, then curled
against the warmth of her lips. “You’re right,” he said softly. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and thought of all
the excellent reasons why they should resume their forced march. There were
many, but the one which decided him was not among them. Lyra would have far
more pleasure if her body were not numb with fatigue. Yet at least he could touch her mind without diminishing her
strength. If she would allow it. He found her mind open, the depth and points of their
linkage limited only by those areas of his own mind which must remain
unrevealed, and others he had long ago hidden from himself. Yet even within
those restrictions he felt awareness expanding geometrically as each additional
linkage crystallized, multifaceted, level after level of mind opening,
complementing, spiraling toward unity of power, awesome song— Tarhn felt himself leaning against a boulder’s searing heat,
terribly alone, sick with the certainty that it was he who had ended a song he
could not recall, only mourn, and Lyra a healing amber mist, warm, praising the
beauty they had known, the glory they might yet know. Tarhn opened his eyes and saw Lyra pale and trembling with
the effort of reaching him. Or was it only that? And he realized then that for
her the missed linkages had been baffling agony, completion offered and then cruelly
withdrawn. Yet it was she who comforted him. Tarhn drew her into his arms and murmured against her hair.
She leaned against his strength and gentle touch until the trembling stopped. *Why do you hide yourself, from me?* she thought sadly. Lyra’s thought contained no shade of bitterness at what he
had withheld, only sorrow that there had been agony where there should have
been joy. *I don’t know why ... I’m sorry, so sorry. You fit more perfectly
into my mind than I had ever dreamed possible,* thought Tarhn, wonder and sorrow
mingled. *We must have known each other in many past lives to know each other
so deeply now.* “So many, yet not enough,” she said, twin-toned, chilling, “Still
your barriers exist, shriveling creation. On my home planet such barriers don’t
exist, but they reach out from the galaxy to destroy us, suffocating. I was
bred to judge Singer creation, but I cannot judge alone, ignorant. You will
teach me the nature of those barriers, Tarhn my complement, my other self. When
I have learned we will be one ... or nothing.” Questions writhed in Tarhn’s throat, choked on fear of the
freezing gold in her eyes. “It’s late,” he said, the words thick. “We have a long climb
ahead.” “Very long,” agreed Lyra and she picked up her pack once
again. They climbed slowly, ceaselessly into the baking afternoon,
scrambling across talus slopes and through slashing thorn thickets. Sweat stung
open cuts, diluting blood and dust into myriad patterns over their bodies and
still they climbed and further until Tarhn could only wonder at Lyra’s
endurance, knowing his own fatigue. At last they scrambled up a long rockfall and stumbled onto
the tiny bench valley carved out of the bony ridge of mountain. The dying light
burned translucent in the whispering, dark trees. At the center of the grove a
spring bubbled promises of water and peace. As one, Lyra and Tarhn sank to their knees at the edge of the
spring. Crystal coolness drowned the pain from welts and bruises, eased the
tightness born of dust and blood and searing sun. The sound of foliage rustling above made Lyra raise her head
suddenly. “It’s just the slakes,” Tarhn said. Lyra relaxed again. “Can they guard us against predators?” “They are tougher than anything on Wilderness—man or beast.
But they’ve seen no animals approach us all day.” They will,” said Lyra. “I’m too tired to warn off any more.” Tarhn had forgotten Lyra’s earlier words. He berated himself
for allowing her to use energy needlessly. “The slakes will guard us,” he said. “Save your strength for
those things the slakes can’t do.” “Like eat for me?” said Lyra with a weary half-smile. “Like eat for you.” He handed her several tubes of high energy rations. She ate
them slowly, half-asleep before the last one was finished. “Not yet,” said Tarhn. He deftly peeled off her tough, supple footgear, part of the
lifecraft’s emergency stores. As he had feared, her feet were raw with broken
blisters. His fingers moved gently; when they passed, the sores were gone. At
Lyra’s exclamation Tarhn stopped. “Did I hurt you?” “No. Not at all. It’s just—” When her confusion tumbled into mindtouch, Tarhn understood. “I should have told you,” he said. “I never thought that you
wouldn’t know of healing.” “I’ve never needed it before, nor has anyone I knew. Can it
be learned?” “In part, for simple injuries,” said Tarhn, resuming his work
on her feet. “But mainly it’s a matter of genes. There. Feel better?” “Thank you. Ignoring the pain was one more sap on my energy.”
Lyra looked at him closely, then added, “And healing was a drain on yours, wasn’t
it?” Tarhn laughed. “Not as much as carrying you tomorrow would
have been.” Lyra’s lips touched his, then with the next breath she was
deep in sleep. The cool water Tarhn bathed her with did not disturb her, nor
did she wake when he wrapped her in a blanket and carried her away from the
spring. Even with the slakes on guard, it would be foolish to sleep near water
in a dry land. Tarhn walked until he found a place where shadegrass grew in
a thick carpet beneath an old tree. He lowered Lyra gently to the ground. As he
turned away, Bithe settled silently in the branches high overhead. *Guard her well, my friend, or I’ll use your blue hide for
my next pair of boots.* Bithe hissed complacently. Tarhn gave a last glance to the sleeping Lyra, then
stretched out beside her, asleep before his head touched the grass. Tarhn woke at the first suggestion of dawn. Stars still
silvered the darkness, but they would soon be drowned in the sun’s pouring
light. He stretched hugely, satisfied for no reason other than a resilient body
renewed by a night’s sleep. Lyra murmured and snuggled against his warmth. Her
whole body plainly said that if he were going to thrash about and let cold air
beneath her blanket, the least he could do was warm her again. Tarhn laughed silently, then relented and tucked the blanket
more firmly about both of them. Not that she needed more sleep; the strengthening
light showed her face unlined by fatigue, lips a relaxed curve. But the day
would be long and he was loathe to end the drowsy lucent moment. He closed his eyes
and drifted into the sensual half-world between sleep and waking. Lyra uncurled
along him, savoring his warmth. *If it’s warmth you want ....* Tarhn rolled onto his back and in the same motion lifted
Lyra so that she became a supple covering over the length of his body. The
smiling lips that moved against his seemed not at all sleepy, nor did the laughter
that felt warm against his chest. Lyra sat up lightly on his stomach,
discarding the last of the blanket. She eyed his tunic as though it were an
unexpected growth. “It’s a fine fabric,” she said, her teeth and eyes shining
in the almost dawn, “but not nearly so fine as your skin.” Tarhn’s breath drew in sharply as her fingers slid beneath
his tunic. In seconds he was nearly dizzy with desire, with her hands that
seemed to know his body as intimately as he did, where to touch and where to linger,
when to wait and when to hold. With a few quick motions they removed the offending tunic.
He lay back again, absorbing her beauty as she rose above him, dawn
highlighting the supple curves of neck and breasts and hips, the soft inviting
pressure of thighs. His hands followed his eyes until she trembled with need of
him. She lifted gracefully, slid over him, hips moving slowly, caressingly,
transforming the movement into timeless rhythms of sensuality. As their bodies mingled, so did their minds. Pleasure
dazzled the imperfect links, evading pain as they came yet more deeply into
each other until neither one knew nor cared who was man or woman, cloud or
earth, for both lived only in the burning lightning which united them. Even after the incandescent urgency was spent, she yet held
him while his hands and lips told her of the beauty she had given him. But
finally even the warmth of their joined bodies could not deny the chilly dawn. Tarhn pulled the blanket over them, delaying the moment that
they must wake and walk in a harsher reality than the one they now shared. He
held her, savoring the ease they both felt in the other. The fragrance of her
hair, the softness of her breasts moving with each breath, the pale rose of
dawn. He bent to kiss her breasts and felt his body stir with new
desire. His mouth moved slowly over her, teeth arousing gently, tongue
exploring all her textures, her body opening to him like a rain-sweet flower
until he wanted her as he had never wanted any woman, knew that he would always
want her. He whispered her name and heard her voice make a song of his own. The road to the Access is long. Tarhn couldn’t decide whether he or Lyra or both had
said/thought/felt the words, but neither one denied their truth. She kissed him
undemandingly and he answered in kind, both secure in their numberless tomorrows,
both prepared to resume their march without regret. They climbed all morning through gradually thinning air,
then down and into a deep valley gouged out of the surrounding mountains by a
long-melted glacier. Steep cliffs and hanging valleys formed by ancient
tributary glaciers rimmed the main valley. Though the ice was gone, some of the
valleys spun a sheer ribbon of waterfall or cascade into the main valley. “Which way?” Lyra’s eyes swept the valley, then she pointed toward the jagged
notch of a close, steep cascade. “That one. Climb the edges of the cascade, then up through
the notch into a tiny cirque. The back wall of the cirque has crumbled into a
steep—” Tarhn’s mental command for silence chopped off Lyra’s words.
The wind stirred in the valley again, bringing with it a faint wailing like a
foretaste of death. “A crosset,” said Tarhn shortly. “The hunters must be mounted
to have caught up so quickly.” “Crosset?” Tarhn’s face was corded and grim. “A tracking animal. It can follow anything anywhere.” “Anywhere?” “A crosset can’t fly—neither can we. It can’t swim, but it
can track us through shallow water. And rocks are its home.” Tarhn fell silent. Almost absently he held out his arms for
the friends he had called out of the sky. His hands stroked each of them
lovingly while he made his request. “No,” said Lyra when he would have launched them once again.
“Nothing must die.” “The crosset must die. The slakes are our only weapon.” “What about rain,” said Lyra quickly. “Would rain wash out
our trail?” Tarhn looked at the wisps of clouds teasing the mountaintops
and shook his head. “It would take a violent storm to wash away all scent of us.
These clouds could do no more than spit.” “How much time do we have before the hunters can see us?” “An hour, maybe less.” “Enough,” said Lyra, shedding her pack. “What—?” “We must climb to the cirque. Quickly. There is a way which
will destroy neither slake nor hunter. Trust me.” Tarhn launched the slakes toward the hanging valley,
devoutly wishing that Lyra had their wings. By the time he dumped his pack next
to her, Lyra had reached the lower rocks of the cascade and was clawing her way
upward. After a timeless nightmare of frantic scrambling, Tarhn passed through
the narrow notch and into the cliff-ringed cirque which looked more like trap
than haven. As he ran toward the far end of the cirque, the sound of the crosset
drifted up to him, louder than before, and with it the exultant howls of Manx
catans carrying their riders to the kill. Tarhn swore futilely. The hunters would be across the main
valley and up the cascade in less time than it would take Lyra to scramble out
of the rockfall at the back of the valley. “Lie down there,” said Lyra, pointing above his head to a slab
of rocks which was protected by an overhanging cliff. “Tell your slakes to fly
high and fast away from here, beyond the clouds. And don’t move,” she added urgently.
“If you aren’t safe when the storm ends ....” Though she said no more, Tarhn felt the quick wash of her
love for him, then all feeling in him died as he watched the gold consuming her
eyes, amber diminishing, gone, a woman standing tall and golden and alien,
alien. Tarhn clawed his way up to the ledge, heavy with fear and
memories rising ghastly after too long burial. He slapped the memories aside
and wriggled under the sheltering cliff, but the memories rose choking, fresh
dreams dying, and the alien standing quiet as waiting death, face and hands
reaching toward the sky. Gentle harmony lifted from her lips, caressing, filled
the tiny valley and bloomed above the barren rock. Nerves taut with fear relaxed
under soothing assurances of song. The breeze from the main valley became a hard, steady draft
sucking air heavy with warmth and water up to chill mountain heights. Wisps of
moisture fattened into clouds boiling over one another and the sun died in a
ragged fall of water. Gentle harmony transformed to eerie duet. One voice
rippled in joyous praise of the waters of life. The second voice sang of the swift waters of destruction. Golden light leaped from the alien’s outstretched fingers,
yearning, compelling. Wind burst into the cirque with a rending howl, shaking
the very cliffs. Clouds spat lightning and splitting thunder and the land quivered
and rang with unleashed energy. The alien stood gold and untouched by
rain and wind, a still center in the wheeling violence. Light wove through her
fingers as her keening song wove the storm. And the water was a thick tide rising. Tarhn buried his face in his arms as water poured into the
cirque faster than the tiny stream could carry it to the cascade, heard a new
sound usurp the thunder; rumbling, gnashing, the sound was a force greater than
rain, unendurable, rocks lifting and smashing in a slow, immense slide down the
cascade. Yet still the alien song called down lightning, kneaded
clouds with sliding dissonance and golden light incandescent that burned his
eyes and mind until he saw only memories, curtains of will separating past from
present vaporized, leaving him trapped and trembling on a harsh ledge of stone,
paralyzed by the depth of her betrayal. Then an acid torrent of hate dissolved
his anguish into leaping rage. He reviled the Carifil for not telling him,
loathed himself for touching her obscene life, prayed to survive the storm that
he might kill the unspeakable Singer he once loved. His head lifted, lips twisted and ugly with words of fear
and frustrated revenge. For the Carifil wanted her alive. The song ended abruptly and with it the worst of the storm.
Tarhn watched the golden light fade, allowing the rain to reach Lyra for the
first time. In seconds she was drenched. She slipped and stumbled over the
ragged rocks many times until blood flowed from the hands that had held gold
fire. Tarhn smiled to see a Singer bleed. He watched unmoving
while she fell again and again in her climb to him. When her head was nearly
level with his he looked coldly at the devastated valley beneath her feet. “And you were worried about the slakes killing,” he said cuttingly.
Those poor bastards would have died easier under slake fangs than under the
flood you loosed. You’re a Singer all right—if it moves, kill it. But first
make it suffer.” Lyra shuddered away from him, his name fell unheard from her
lips. “What?” he demanded, his voice a lash. He sensed her reaching out to him, then recoiling in pain
when she touched the black flames of his hatred. “Only the crosset died,” she whispered. “It would not leave
the scent.” Tarhn’s disbelieving laughter cut deeper than words. Lyra
swayed, then lifted amber and gold eyes to his. “Believe what comforts you,” she said raggedly, “but spare
me the destruction of your hatred. I have not earned it.” “You earned it the day of your birth, Lyra Mara, half-gened
bastard of Daveen Li’mari and a killer race.” *Tarhn, why are you destroying us? Why do you hate me? * The thought slid through his defenses, a silver anguish that
would have made granite weep, but Tarhn was flesh, not stone. “Singer.” The word was an animal’s snarl. Lyra seemed to waver before him, transparent, then opaque,
mind and body, a weary stranger who had mistakenly thought she knew him. “The Singers didn’t know that they carried sickness,” she
said finally. “You are Tau; your people conquered many races; killed many
people. Yet you do not hate the Tau.” Tarhn dismissed her logic with a cruel gesture. When she
spoke again, the music of her voice was strangely thinned. “I must reach the Access quickly.” “Why? Dead crossets are very poor trackers.” “Our minds are too closely attuned—” Tarhn’s surge of denial needed no words to give it force.
Lines of strain appeared across Lyra’s face. “Yes. Attuned,” she said emotionlessly. “Your hatred
destroys me as self-hatred would. You have the training to control—No. I’ve
learned that much. To expect discipline or kindness of a Galactic is to be disappointed.” “So ... a Singer is vulnerable. And what if I don’t choose
to discipline my emotions?” “There are easier ways to kill me. But, perhaps, none so
satisfying for you.” “I’m no Singer,” spat Tarhn. He banked his emotions as he would a fire, burying hatred
until its fierce heat no longer seared through Lyra’s mind. Immediately relief
loosened the taut lines of her face. She breathed deeply. “Thank you.” As though she knew he would not reply, Lyra turned and began
working her way across the rain-slick rocks. Tarhn watched her through narrowed
eyes, the bloody marks left by her hands and feet a clear trail for him to follow. After a long time he did follow. Though the rocks were slippery
and the footing unpredictable, he didn’t fall. He knew then that the song, or
his hatred, had depleted Lyra to the point at which she had little strength to
cope with the trail. Soon he was close enough to hear her muffled cry of pain
when she fell yet again. At the sound of his approach she flung her head up,
eyes blind with Singer gold. He hung back as she crawled slowly toward the last
steep rockslide guarding the rear exit from the valley. There eons of winter
ice had eroded the circling rock into a narrow col suspended between high
peaks. When she fell yet again on the sharp rocks, he closed the gap with a few
swift strides and bent to pull her to her feet. She screamed in agony at his touch. He withdrew his hand as
from a fire, looked at her measuringly. “If you aren’t able to get through the
pass alone, I’d have to carry you.” She breathed deeply and her voice shook. “No ... when you
touch me, no shield, no discipline, nothing baffles your destroying hatred.
Leave me here.” “No.” Lyra stifled a cry of despair. “Then please, please open
your mind, let me show you where the Access is. I can’t stay close to you, I’ll—” “Walk or be carried.” At the edge of his tightly held mind, Tarhn sensed a
question asked and answered in a cascade of aching song. At last, to his relief,
she pulled herself to her feet. Much as he despised Singers, his flesh crawled
at the thought of simple touch bringing such agony. Tarhn lost count of the times Lyra fell in her slow progress
up the slippery sloping pile of rocks which led over the col. At last she fell
and did not rise. Tentatively he touched her; no response. “Praise the Tortured God,” he said beneath his breath,
relieved at not having to watch her worm’s progress any more. He lifted her limp body into carrying position across his
shoulders and carefully traversed the last slippery ledge. The downhill side
was much less steep. And it was dry. N’Lete and Bithe swooped from ragged wisps of cloud, wings
spread so that the descending sun shone through blue skin stretched over black
bones. They were blue fire and beauty and grace. They were friends. Tarhn put Lyra down and held his arms open for the slakes to
land. *I’m glad that demon storm didn’t catch you, slakes.* The slakes coiled around him delightedly, tickling his ears
with their darting tongues. *Enough!* With a few last feints, the slakes ceased their play. Bithe
scrambled down and flicked his tongue over Lyra questioningly. *She sleeps.* The quality of Tarhn’s thought forbade further exploration.
Bithe retreated a few steps and assumed his guard stance. Tarhn launched n’Lete
into the sunset sky. If anyone had survived the storm, as Lyra claimed, n’Lete
should find them nearby. When n’Lete had vanished to a dot, Tarhn arranged himself in
a position of deep concentration, giving himself completely over to Carifil
training. When his eyes opened again, they no longer glinted with uncontrolled
hatred. He was once again Carifil on assignment. As only Lyra knew precisely
where the Access was, he must ensure that she would be able to lead the way. He worked quickly over her, healing the gouges and deep
gashes rocks had made. When he finished, he sat cross-legged near her, working
with his emotions again, weighing some probabilities, absolutely ignoring others.
In this state he absently received n’Lete’s report that no hunters moved
nearby. He automatically lifted his arm that n’Lete might lay her head in his
lap. Bithe opened one blue eye at the intrusion, then obligingly moved over a
fraction to make room for his mate. At length, Tarhn sensed Lyra’s emergence from behind the protective
blanket of unconsciousness. “You healed me,” she said wonderingly. The latent
music of her voice made his hatred flare again. “I’d do the same for any animal.” As though sensing Lyra’s
distress, Bithe moved close to her. Slake and Singer stared silently at each
other for a long moment, then Bithe lowered his head into Lyra’s lap and
rattled his wing hopefully. “He weighs so little for his size,” said Lyra softly,
obviously seeking a neutral topic. Tarhn merely grunted. Lyra glanced quickly at him, then rubbed the skin beneath
Bithe’s wing. Bithe leaned into her touch, hissing contentment through serrated
teeth. Lyra smiled with pleasure. “Here’s one Tau who likes my
company.” “He should. You’re both killers. And bastards.” Lyra was silent for a moment, then asked, “And what is your
heritage that it belittles his?” Lyra’s gesture included both Tarhn and the slake curled in
his lap. Tarhn’s hand moved under n’Lete’s chin and his voice hummed pride and
affection. “N’Lete’s most distant ancestors flew to hunts and wars with
my own ancestors, the genocrats of Tau. Bithe, on the other hand, is wild, the
product of unrecorded mating during battle. As for me, I am Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler,
Conditional Helix of Tau. Both of my immediate progenitors held high power in
the government of Tau. They died insane under the lash of the Singers. I was a
child. My gene-uncle Kretan seized power. A true Helix will not rule Tau again,
thanks to the murdering Singers.” Tarhn was powerless to control the waiting, seeking violence
which coiled through his words. “I regret your loss, Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler,” said Lyra formally.
“Though our lifelines span eternity, the knots of death are painful.” Violence seethed in the blue light from Tarhn’s narrowed
eyes. Lyra raised her hands in a timeless gesture of defense. “I wasn’t alive when my people unwittingly brought sickness
to many planets,” she said in a strained voice. “Yet I know their agony.” His violence never lessened. “Tarhn,” she said desperately, “Every Singer who left
Chanson died. The plague was not restricted to Galactics.” “Sorry to hear that. I’ve spent a lifetime hoping to lay
hands on the Singer who visited Tau.” “It was an accident! They did not know—” “Didn’t they?” rasped Tarhn. He brushed n’Lete off his lap and stood to tower over Lyra. “They knew kerden well what they were doing. The leaders of
a hundred planetary systems don’t just die of a simultaneous accident. I’m not
crying over their deaths—most of them were carrion eaters overdue for another beginning.
But to call it an accident!” “We still grieve—” “Then my greatest wish is to feel similar grief over the
ashes of Plague!” Tarhn’s words echoed around him, returned woven into rills
of dissonance promising/warning that his wish could be granted. Yet it was not
Lyra who sang; she had withdrawn infuriatingly behind her mental defenses: She
registered on his psi no more than would a stone. He gathered his rage to
batter her shields until she was forced to writhe under the acid of his truths
as he had long ago writhed under the truths of— N’Lete clashed her teeth together, warning her mate to flee
Tarhn’s violence. The sound shocked Tarhn as nothing else could have. He saw
his own hands like claws so close to Lyra and wondered searchingly what had
nearly driven him to violate the trust of the Carifil. But his mind withheld
the answer, buried it with the ease of long experience beneath an impenetrable
will not to know. Tarhn returned his attention to n’Lete, gently arranging her
coils in his lap. Soon Bithe slunk over, his whole body rippling with confusion
over Lyra’s withdrawal and Tarhn’s rage. Tarhn smoothed Bithe’s wings and murmured
soothing words until the slake calmed and settled against him. “I was wrong to link you with a Singer, Bithe. You have been
as worthy and loyal as your mate in all our years together. And who am I to
sneer that you enjoy her sweet voice and sweeter touch? I am supposed to have a
seventh level mind, yet I was utterly fooled.” Tarhn’s hands continued their gentle movements, though his
mind had turned inward. Stars in their thousand colors burned through the deepening
night, followed by the haunting moons. The third moon of Wilderness rose before
Lyra’s return captured his wandering thoughts. Though her voice no longer held
subtle echoes of harmony, Tarhn was certain he could hear/feel a song pressing
against her, urging her. “My awareness has touched many worlds, known vicariously the
many cultures of man. I have sifted countless minds to find one with which mine
could communicate effortlessly, totally. A mind which would join mine in the
intricate, expanding union of complements. You have such a mind. “And you despise my race, loathe my presence ... yet wish to
see me live. Why?” Tarhn was silent for many minutes, then he said, “Daveen Li’mara
had many powerful friends. In a moment of sheer sentimentality the Council must
have agreed to allow you off-planet. It is they who want you alive. Perhaps
they still believe you are more his daughter than a Singer.” “I carry his genes.” “Do you? We have only the word of murderers on . that.” “Singers are not murderers. They are gentle and loving
beyond your ability to know.” Tarhn’s only response was violence quickening. “The Access lies at the bottom of this slope,” she said in a
thin voice. “There’s no need to stay together any longer. Unless you enjoy
causing me pain?” The tone of simple curiosity slipped the leash of Tarhn’s control.
He launched the slakes unceremoniously. “Shut up and walk. I’ll be right behind you.” Lyra rose and ran down the slope. He swore as he remembered
that her night vision was as good or better than his. A swift command reached n’Lete
as Tarhn plunged after Lyra. Her trail was marked both by sound and the
salt-cinnamon fragrance of plants broken off in her heedless flight. Tarhn ran
recklessly, eyes fixed on the jumble of rocks which seemed to be Lyra’s goal.
The faint smell of a scavenger’s den rose in the damp air, stronger as he
neared the rocks. Then he saw Lyra slip between two of the larger rocks and out
of sight. At the same instant a whiplike shape plummeted soundlessly through
the moonlight. Wings flashed blue fire as n’Lete braked before disappearing
into the rocks. Tarhn waited tautly, then smiled. *Down, Bithe. They’re waiting for us.* Tarhn’s low chuckle followed him into the scavenger’s den. N’Lete
was coiled on the ground, wings cocked with pride. *Well hunted, n’Lete. Your children would have ruled the battlefields
of Tau.* N’Lete hissed agreement. Tarhn’s blue crystal eyes lingered over Lyra for a moment.
Even now her body retained the elusive grace of song. For a searing moment memories
of what they had shared flooded him with doubts. But she was a Singer. His hands were indifferent as they lifted her. *Bithe?* The drumming sound of air resonating in Bithe’s throat led
Tarhn to the Access. *Up, slakes.* When the slakes were settled on the platform Tarhn leaped up
to Join them. The combined weight of slakes and humans triggered the Access. Within
seconds Tarhn felt five distinct spasms. The Carifil must be jumping him all
over the kerden galaxy. Then there came a short respite during which the
contents of the platform were scanned down to the last atom. A final spasm and
Tarhn arrived on Centrex. IV“Report, Carifil Tarhn a Harnan n’Ahler.” Tarhn wondered at Councillor Elenda’s hostile tone, but gave
the report as requested. The woman stood silently for a few moments, then said
sharply, “Was it necessary to be so brutal?” Tarhn lowered the still unconscious Lyra onto a nearby allform
couch. “Yes,” he said shortly. “On what basis?” “She’s a Singer.” “Hybrid.” “Only a Singer could call that storm.” “That storm saved your life; she could have easily let you
die.” The same thought had occurred to Tarhn many times, but all
he said was, “She claimed Singers aren’t murderers, yet at least five men died
under her song.” “You would have done the same if you could.” “She still lied.” “You counted the bodies?” “There wouldn’t have been enough left to count.” “There were no bodies. A guide and four hunters lived to
report a Singer’s presence on Wilderness. It would have been better if she had
killed them. Do you distrust her still?” “She lied about other deaths. The plague was no accident.” “Did you lie about the hunters dying?” countered Elenda. “I drew obvious conclusions from the data on hand.” “Exactly.” Elenda let her remark echo for a moment before saying, “Come.
The others are waiting.” Tarhn followed unquestioningly; he knew that someone would
come to care for his slakes. And that the slakes would care for Lyra. He
wondered who the others were and what they waited for. Elenda gestured to him
to precede her through a curving door. Anticipation radiated from the room like
heat from a fire. Who— “Jerlis!” Tarhn’s whoop of joy set off waves of friendly laughter.
Tarhn never noticed it; his whole attention was centered on the tiny woman who
was lost in his massive greeting. “Don’t squeeze too hard,” said a laughing voice. “We’d be
lost without Jerlis.” Tarhn smiled and gently put Jerlis back on her feet, though
not out of reach. His hands savored the familiar texture of suede and his mind
brimmed pleasure at unexpectedly seeing her. Her dark skin/fur was still lustrous,
her sensitive ears still erect fans, and her round turquoise eyes still
unclouded. “You are ageless,” he said simply. “I am glad.” Jerlis smiled, revealing the jagged teeth of carnivorous
ancestry. To someone who didn’t know her the smile would have been chilling. To
Tarhn it was the sun rising warm after a long night. “No one can compete with Jerlis,” said a husky voice close
to him, “but is it too much to hope for a civil greeting?” Tarhn turned and looked into the ferocious orange eyes of a
Rynlon. “The way your consort greeted me,” said Tarhn wryly, “I half
expected you to ignore me.” “Never,” said Dachen. Tarhn hugged him soundly, then really looked around the room
for the first time. “Jasilyn, Iandrel, Kotomotay, Fiodor ....” Tarhn was delighted to see so many of his friends, but why
were they here? When he had begun his ill-fated free time, these people had
been scattered across the galaxy. “Yes,” said Dachen, “a pattern is nearing crisis. We must decide
whether to cut or weave or wait.” Tarhn sent quick apologies to his ungreeted friends before
he stretched out on an empty allform couch. “Thank you, Tarhn,” said Elenda quietly. “I apologize for my
rudeness earlier and for my haste now. The haste, at least, is necessary.” Tarhn smiled, but the immense attentiveness of his mind
never wavered. “All of you were called away from assignments. Again I
apologize and plead necessity. We have two important, strangely linked patterns
nearing crisis. One is the Singer enigma. The other is Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler.” Tarhn stiffened. “Most of you have heard of the Singer enigma; a few of you
have worked with me to solve it. The salient facts are scant and simple. Chanson,
often known as Plague, was first discovered by a Concord Survey ship nearly
three decades ago. First contact was peaceful. The Singers appeared to be an amiable
race. When told about the Concord, they petitioned for membership. After the
petition was received, the usual cultural index examinations began. The results
were nonsense. The Singers’ culture eluded categorization.” “The contact team couldn’t decide whether Singer culture was
the minimum level necessary for full Concord membership. They called for an
Assembly vote, as in all cases in which the team cannot make unanimous recommendations.” “As their name indicates, the Singers’ special value to the
Concord was the surpassing beauty of their songs; Contact’s recording equipment
failed to capture that beauty fully.” Elenda stopped, her startling violet eyes fixed on a point
light-years distant. “The obvious solution,” she continued, “would have been to
transport a few Singers to the next Assembly gathering. That’s what we did for
the Talerit, whose unique ability was empathic drama. Instead, Contact arranged
to jump Singers to individual planets to be heard and judged by separate
planetary governments. Later, Contact could give no explanation for this arrangement. “The rest you know. Wherever the Singers sang, people died.
The Council, acting for the whole Assembly, has spent the intervening years
trying to discover exactly what happened. Contact left a spacecom on Chanson,
but the Singers absolutely refused all communication—particularly mental. “The planet was proscribed. Since then the only contact we’ve
had has been accidental, and tragic.” Elenda exchanged a look of sadness with Jerlis. “Daveen Li’mara, a Carifil, had established a close orbit
around Chanson. His objective was to penetrate the Singer silence. After
several weeks his ship’s engines suddenly became erratic. We believe it was sabotage.
Not by tile Singers, but by Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler, as Jerlis will explain. Surprisingly,
after the ship crashed, the Singers saved Daveen’s life, if not his memories.
He never used the spacecom. When his daughter was born it was the Singers who
told us, as they told us of his death. Beyond these singularly terse
communications, we had no contact with the Singers until four standard days
ago. Then the Singers requested that Lyra Mara be exempted from proscription.” “The Council debated the request; at length we agreed to
allow Lyra Mara off Chanson in hopes that we would learn more about the Singers
from her. The Carifil had an additional reason for giving Lyra her freedom.
Jerlis?” Jerlis sat up and faced her friends’ curiosity. “Kretan isn’t nearly so spectacular as the Singers, which is
part of the problem.” Jerlis curled her ears in exasperation and started over
again. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler, bred and raised a Tau genocrat, inventor
and two-fifths owner of Access Unlimited. Three-fifths is owned by Lyra Mara.” Iandrel’s surprised oath made Jerlis smile. “Are you trying to ask me how a Singer came to own the majority
interest in the richest enterprise in the galaxy?” purred Jerlis. Iandrel laughed and complimented Jerlis in his native
tongue. “I’ll take that as yes,” said Jerlis. “It’s a long and
tangled story, and you’ll have to be patient with me. Fifty years ago Tau had
just lost the last in a ruinous series of interplanetary wars. Tau was stripped
of all but its human resources. One of those resources was Kretan. He succeeded
in—shall I say discovering?—no, describing, the mathematical basis for instantaneous
movement within the galaxy. He thereafter spent many years designing and
building a machine he called an Access. “It was as brilliant a piece of work as has ever been done
by man. But there was a problem. Tau had no money to finance Accesses, nor any
real interest in them. Kretan took the plans to many other planets before he
found Lyle Li’mara, a wealthy trader from a planet new to the Concord. Lyle
agreed to finance production, installation, and selling of the Access in return
for three-fifths ownership of the patent and Access Unlimited.” “Lyle died soon after. Through a series of circumstances I
won’t deal with now, his grandson Daveen became my ward. Technically, Daveen
owned three-fifths of AU, but by Concord law he was unable either to wield or
delegate this control until he reached the minimum age to be a full Concord
citizen. Thus, for two decades Kretan ran AU without interference. He was, and
is, brilliant and ruthless, with an affinity for power which is frightening.” “As soon as Daveen reached citizenship age, we tried to
assert his control over AU, using the AU money which had been held in trust for
him. Kretan, of course, resisted. We fought him through every court in the galaxy.
We had just won major concessions when Daveen so conveniently crashed on a
proscribed planet.” Jerlis scowled fiercely. “I’m sure Kretan was responsible. He had tried persistently
to kill Daveen before he reached majority, for by law Kretan would have then become
sole owner of AU.” Jasilyn interrupted with a frustrated noise. “I know,” said Jerlis quickly. “Concord laws would confuse
Xerle Herself. The important thing to remember is that if Daveen died without
gene heirs before he was a full citizen, Kretan inherited the company. But if
Daveen died after he was a citizen, without gene heirs, Elenda, Tarhn, and
myself would have inherited Daveen’s interest.” “Kerden three-toed mard,” muttered Jasilyn, then added more
loudly, “Then why did Kretan try to kill Daveen?” “He didn’t try to kill him,” said Jerlis patiently. “He
merely tried to force Daveen to land on a proscribed planet. Once Daveen
touched Chanson, and lived, Kretan had won.” “I’m afraid to ask why,” said Fiodor mildly. “Don’t,” said Jasilyn with a laugh. Jerlis snapped her teeth together in irritation and gave
Jasilyn a long look. They had met physically only a few times, though their
minds were often linked for Carifil business. And under Jasilyn’s flamboyant
red hair and rustic manners was a mind as fierce and cunning as any Jerlis had
known. Jasilyn smiled meaningfully at Jerlis; she knew the game was
up. She leaned so close to Fiodor that her bright hair touched him. “Kretan,” said Jasilyn in a loud whisper, “sounds like a
seventh level crook. He’d probably been sucking Daveen’s three-fifths. The
thought of a Death Audit In The Absence of Gene Heirs would give him the Salcan
trots. But with Daveen caged alive on Chanson, no problem.” Jerlis sighed, but conceded that Jasilyn had covered the
high points succinctly. “Yes. The only trick was to keep Daveen alive for the
decades Kretan wanted. Daveen fooled him by dying in his first maturity. But he
left a gene heir. Kretan was sitting fat; unquestioned control of Access Unlimited
for the foreseeable future. “Unless the Concord voted to annihilate the Singers.” Tarhn turned on Jerlis with an expression of disbelief. “Are you saying that in order to inconvenience a rich man,
you let the Singers escape a just annihilation—and even permitted one of them
off-planet? Kretan is a cunning old carrion eater, but he isn’t a Singer!” Jerlis’ turquoise eyes widened. That Tarhn of all people
should underestimate Kretan .... “Listen to it this way, Tarhn,” said Jerlis earnestly. “In
just under five decades, the Access has almost totally replaced lightships as
the means of moving goods, people, and information within the galaxy. Planets
that don’t have Accesses are nearly as isolated as they were before interstellar
lightships. Further, the Accesses make money for the planets, even considering
the inflated installation and royalty payments. And if the planets are too poor
to pay or are impatient to make money, the installation fee can be paid in people.
Very attractive, especially to retrograde governments. Three-eighths of Kretan’s
Accesses are on conscript planets.” Jerlis searched Tarhn’s grim face for dawning understanding,
but found none. “By Xerle’s Great Ears,” she snapped, “do I need mindtouch
to get through to you? Kretan has a virtual monopoly on interstellar movement,
owns the free labor of over seven billion people, and receives one-sixth of the
gross profits made by all Accesses. He is within eight years of de facto
control of the galaxy.” “But the Concord—” began Tarhn. “Can’t do a kerden thing. Most planets are even afraid to
try. Years ago a movement started in the Assembly to pass a law which would
have had the effect of circumscribing Kretan’s power. Ten supposedly powerful
people representing the ten most powerful planets organized the movement. And
when the yearly renewal time for their Access leases came around, there were
ten planets that no longer had Accesses. “The planets were ruined. Since that time, only the Carifil
have openly challenged Kretan. With Lyra Mara’s help, we can win.” “Can you revoke the patent?” said Kotomotay. “It sounds as
though he must have broken enough laws to bring him before the Deliberators.” “And if we win, Kretan will destroy every Access built,”
said Jerlis. “Maybe that wouldn’t destroy the Concord. Maybe; Concord planets
are too dependent on the Accesses to live well or even badly without them.” “Then kill him,” said Tarhn bluntly. “Xerle’s Eyes, Tarhn! Did you leave your wits on Wilderness?
Every time the Concord gets rumors of Kretan’s location they jump a platoon of
assassins to the area. Nothing. The Carifil have hunted him for years. Nothing.
Unless we can clear up the Singer problem, we have a choice between chaos
without Accesses and despotism with Accesses.” “Don’t forget,” said Dachen dryly, “we also have to keep
Lyra out of Kretan’s reach now. If he lifts her the game is over.” “Insane! All of you!” said Tarhn savagely. “You want to exonerate
the Singers falsely in order to give one of them virtual control of the galaxy.” “Kretan is a known, quantifiable evil,” said Jerlis. “The
Singers are not.” “They are murderers.” “There’s no proof of that, but there’s plenty of proof that
Kretan is far too powerful.” Tarhn sat silently, seeking an escape from Jerlis’ net of
facts. Finally he looked at her and said hoarsely, “Then kill Lyra Mara to
force a Death Audit.” Jerlis turned from Tarhn to Elenda and demanded, “What else
happened on Wilderness?” “I relayed precisely what Tarhn reported, as he reported it.” Tarhn moved uncomfortably under Jerlis’ probing eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Tarhn,” said Jerlis in a voice of
gentle confusion. “You believe the Singers planned the plague?” “I know they did.” As if voice alone were not enough, he reinforced his
certainty with brief mindtouch. “What evidence do you have that the Carifil and Concord have
overlooked?” “None.” “Lyra did nothing, told you nothing—” “Nothing.” “Then you believe rather than know.” Tarhn disliked appearing unreasonable, but could do nothing
about it. He knew. His stubbornness was not lost on Jerlis, but its cause was. “Tarhn, what happened on Wilderness?” she said patiently. “Elenda used command probe,” answered Tarhn. “My report was
complete.” “It couldn’t have been,” said Jerlis flatly. “Everyone in
this room received that report, and all we know now is that the Singers are psi
masters. And we already believed that. We learned nothing new. Certainly
nothing that would make us decide—” “Then you’re all using unconscious filters,” snapped Tarhn. “Or you are,” returned Jerlis neutrally. Tarhn felt anger flash hotly even as part of his mind calmly
told him that his anger proved the truth of Jerlis’ statement. He made a casual
gesture with his hands, though the thought of psychic integration sent baffling
surges of panic through him. “Looks like it’s time for integration,” said Tarhn lightly. “Elenda
must have thought so or she wouldn’t have probed me.” “That’s not why I probed,” said Elenda. Tarhn looked at her in surprise. “Then why?” Dachen sensed the unease radiating from Elenda and touched
her hand lightly. “Did you know that Daveen and I were complements?” said
Elenda abruptly. Confused, Tarhn could only say, “I wasn’t sure.” He sensed Iandrel’s rush of sympathy for Elenda and remembered
that Iandrel’s complement had also died. “I’m lucky,” said Elenda. “In time I found another. I have
two reasons for telling you about Daveen. The first is your own completion:
Lyra. I know from your rage that you agree with me. Somehow the Singers also
knew. “They requested that you be the one to guard Lyra.” Tarhn sensed his mental defenses closing one upon the other
down to levels he had not known possible. Though he realized the absurdity of
his reaction, it took him several minutes to control it. When he emerged, he
felt the concern and love of his friends and Jerlis’ hands on his forehead
pouring reassurance into his mind as she had when he was an untrained child. Elenda resumed speaking as though nothing had happened. “I will kill no one’s complement. And I will kill no Singer.” “Tell him why,” said Dachen. “It’s not,” said Elenda, “as Tarhn would like to believe,
out of misplaced sentiment for Daveen. But when he died the first time—” Tarhn’s startled exclamation was involuntary, “Yes. The crash was fatal. I felt him dying, felt his
awareness condense into a shimmering line, felt that line curl put from his
broken body, sensed the irrevocable knot forming, formed and then the Singers
asking if death be consummation or accident and Daveen ...” Tarhn strained to hear her words, so low had her voice
become. “... and I/Daveen ... Daveen/they radiant song ....” Tarhn waited, but it was Jerlis who finished. “When the song faded, Daveen lived again, though changed.
The last thought he communicated was, “Theirs is the power ....” “Do you understand now, Tarhn?” said Elenda. “You believe he died,” said Tarhn carefully. “You believe
the Singers returned him to life. Perhaps, if you can call what remained of
Daveen’s life. Even if you are right in your beliefs, is one deliberate life
enough to forget thousands of deliberate deaths? Is—” Tarhn stopped abruptly at a look from Dachen. The Rynlon’s
orange eyes were embers of disbelief burning in a crucible of steel. “The
second reason, my deliberately blind friend, is pragmatic rather than ethical.
As such, you will doubtless find it easier to grasp. If we set out to destroy
the Singers we might find ourselves in the position of savages throwing stones
at a lightship. If we’re lucky the Singers will overlook our puny attempts. If
not—” Dachen clapped his hands together explosively. “The Singers aren’t that powerful,” said Tarhn. “Oh?” said Dachen. “I can’t remember the last time I resurrected
the dead, or even sang up a small drizzle.” “You forget something.” “What?” “I can kill Lyra Mara without even touching her.” “Yes, you’re a weapon,” admitted Dachen. “But are you
Carifil or your own? Can you obey if we say don’t kill? Can you control
yourself as well as you control Lyra? Yesterday I would have said yes. Today
.... you are more landmine than lasgun. Whether your explosion kills Singer or
Carifil is purely chance. You suggested integration. I agree. Jerlis is here;
she fits more deeply into your mind than any other Carifil.” Tarhn controlled his inward resistance and looked into
Jerlis’ troubled eyes. “Do you agree?” said Tarhn. “Only if you do,” said Jerlis. “You’re free to refuse.” Tarhn laughed softly. A Carifil could refuse integration,
yes. But he would never receive another assignment until he had been
integrated. “When do we begin?” he said. Dachen visibly relaxed, sending Tarhn into laughter again.
Dachen smiled wryly. “Laugh all you want, Tarhn. I’ll be kerden glad to have you
back. The Carifil walk a very thin wire now: Kretan and a few others don’t want
the: Singers destroyed. Fortunately, Kretan is powerful enough to
bend the Assembly. But when word goes out that a Singer walks free and
powerful, the six thousand gods of Dianthus couldn’t stop an Assembly vote to
annihilate. That gives us very little time to solve the Singer enigma before we’re
ordered to kill in ignorance and fear, not knowing why or what we kill until it’s
too late.” “I can’t change that,” said Tarhn. “You can change the ignorance. Lyra is the only message the
Singers have sent us. I think they were afraid we might not decode all of it in
time, so they arranged for you to be close by, the key to all her locked information.” “Kerden stubborn key they chose,” muttered Elenda. “Very,” agreed Dachen cheerfully. “Well, they’ve done their
part. Now it’s left to us to find out why the key is reluctant. When we know
that, we may know enough that Lyra is no longer required.” Jerlis smiled at Tarhn’s confusion. “Tarhn,” she said softly, “it can hardly be a coincidence
that you were the only one who heard the first Singers—and lived.” “But I didn’t hear them,” he said irritably. “I was a child
too young to have slakes, much less be admitted to the Hall of Genocrats on a
state matter.” ‘Then where did you live before you went to Feldenshold? And
who gave you two young slakes called n’Lete and Bithe?” “I ... don’t ... know,” said Tarhn wonderingly. “I do,” said Jerlis, “How?” “You told me, long ago. You were old enough to have slakes
when the Singer came to Tau. You took them with you that night. Something happened
to all of you. Or have you also forgotten that the Helix strain is psi null and
that normal Tau slakes have less awareness than a pile of rocks!” Tarhn felt the room fracture into jagged pieces while a
distant form wailed and writhed away from golden notes searing, growing, a dawn
of melody, beauty rising on the sun, song rising, warmth burning acid deep. *Tarhn!* Jerlis’ frantic mindcall wrenched the room back together. *Give me sleep, Jerlis, Give me peace.* When Tarhn awoke, only Jerlis was there. He felt tension
throughout his body, felt Jerlis’ eyes take note, felt her thought that
integration should wait until he was more relaxed. “This is my normal state, Jerlis. I usually bother to
conceal it.” “I must be getting old. This is the first time in centuries
someone has known my thoughts without my help.” Tarhn looked at her searchingly, then smiled. “You’re not getting old. Usually a good part of my mind is
busy overriding useless signals from a different part of my mind. Now, I don’t
care if you know my tension.” Jerlis nodded her head slowly, then said, “How long—” “As long as I can remember.” “Even after Carifil integration?” “Yes.” “Then you are the most powerful mind I have ever touched—and
the most secret. Though I love you, I don’t really know you. I can’t help a
mind of your power unless you want to be helped. No one can. Except, possibly ...
Lyra.” The savagery of Tarhn’s negation made Jerlis step backwards. “Sorry, Jerlis. It isn’t your fault. You’re only telling the
truth.” Jerlis wondered what other truths might draw a similar or
worse reaction. “There’s only one way to find out,” said Tarhn, handing her
a psitran. Jerlis accepted the psitran, hesitated, then said, “Integration
is not punishment, Tarhn. No, let me speak. Part of your mind is cut off,
barricaded even from yourself.” Tarhn waited, his blue eyes hooded and opaque. “It has been
many years since your first integration. That is neither good nor bad, simply
fact. You have seen and done and thought much in those years. It would not be
surprising if you had some events that were not digested, that you needed help
to integrate into your changing self. I have been integrated eighteen times;
there is no more shame or failure attached to that than to scanning a library
cube for knowledge you don’t have.” “I understand that.” “Intellectually or emotionally?” “Both.” Then why did you wait and hide?” Tarhn’s allform rippled, trying to soothe new tensions. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be here.” “You don’t have to be here.” “Jerlis,” he began angrily, then stopped when he saw her turquoise
eyes lambent with patience and shared pain. “Sorry. This can’t be very pleasant
for you, either.” Jerlis’ fingers moved in an intricate gesture of agreement,
apology, and love. “I suspect that your first integration was not fully
successful. Yet, an unintegrated mind that had reached the seventh level would
be unique in Carifil history. Not impossible; merely highly improbable. But we
must begin somewhere. We must find some focus for the second integration.” She
paused, then asked, “Have you forgotten all of your childhood?” “I haven’t forgotten any of ...” A look of mingled
perplexity and frustration creased his dark face, shadowed his vivid eyes. Jerlis waited, then said softly. “Tell me the important
things you remember, beginning with Tau and ending after your first integration.” “At my birth,” began Tarhn tonelessly, “I was declared a Conditional
First Helix of Tau. Clereth, my gene-mother, elected to raise and train me so
that I would have the qualities necessary to be confirmed First Helix. Clereth
had no night vision. Flawed genes, though otherwise she would have been at
least a Second Helix. She hated me, because my genes weren’t flawed. She made
my childhood as difficult as she could, short of actually damaging me. I doubt
if that matters now; I haven’t hated her since she died.” “How did she die?” There was a long silence. “I don’t remember.” “Review your childhood in your mind. What is your last vivid
memory of Tau?” After a few minutes, Tarhn spoke slowly. “There is a room, a
kind of large closet, in the Helix house. It is filled with cloth and the scent
of dawnflowers. I used to sit there and look out the wind gap and dream of the
time I would have my own slakes. I think—yes, I remember now. I had n’Lete
then, but she was unmated. She had refused all male slakes in the compound. I
suspected she had chosen a wild slake, but I couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter,
though. She would not be fertile for at least fifteen years .... Someday,” he
added dreamily, “I’ll take my slakes back to Tau, so they can breed
successfully. Slakes live so long, even longer than a Helix. Did you know that
their venom is the basis for some of our extender drugs?” Jerlis’ sad smile drew a sigh from Tarhn. “I know, Jerlis. I’m evading. I guess my last memory was
about one Tau month before the ... before the Singer came to Tau. You say I
heard the Singer, I doubt it. I was a bit young to be allowed into the Hall of Genocrats
on a state matter.” “Would a Conditional First Helix, no matter how young, have
been refused entrance?” “... no.” “Given what you know, not what you remember, of Tau’s government,
would a Conditional First Helix have attended that night?” “... yes. Not attending would have been a failure of
training and self-discipline. But—” “After Tau,” said Jerlis smoothly, “what are your important
memories?” “Feldenshold, first. I’m not sure how I got to that planet,
or why I left Tau. Cold-sleep travel confused my mind. One of my servants ...
Kretan ... all mixed together. After the plague, Kretan took over the government.
I can reconstruct from later knowledge, not memory. Is that all right?” “Of course.” “I must have been affected by the plague, but not enough to
die. Kretan was off-planet, trying to raise money to build an experimental
Access. When the plague struck, he came back and took over. As was right. At
that time, his was the supreme genotype of Tau. Except for mine, of course, and
I was sick and too young to rule. Either Kretan tried to kill me, or my servant
was afraid Kretan would try to kill me. Whichever, my servant and I and my
slakes went cold-sleep to Feldenshold, All I remember about my first months
there is that Feldenshold was ugly and my servant died. “I spent a lot of time in the Waif Station, until Dnorie
bought me. We hunted svarl together, golden svarl, until I’d paid back my Waif
Fee. Then I hunted alone with my slakes. I did very well. Mama Firk—she’s Carifil,
isn’t she?” “Sometimes.” “Mama Firk heard about me, gave me an impossible job to do,
and I did it. Then my slakes and I went on a lightship to the nearest Access
planet. I stepped into an Access, and when the blue light died you were there.” Tarhn smiled suddenly. “After that came the good times,
Jerlis. Especially when Daveen was with us. Strange ... a child takes everything
for granted. I’ve never really thought about it, but the Carifil must have been
looking for me, too. I’m glad you found me before Kretan did.” “So am I, for many reasons. You were very different from
what we had expected.” “Oh?” “You weren’t psi null, for one. We’d have protected you anyway,
of course. We’d have protected a litter of zarfs if they could have helped us
curb Kretan’s power. When we discovered what you were, we trained your mind and
body to the best of our knowledge.” “And I became a Carifil.” “Do you regret it, Tarhn?” “Never. I wanted, still want that more than anything else.
That’s why I’m on this kerden restless couch, waiting.” “You won’t have to wait much longer. Just a few more memories.” “The important ones ... Daveen. So many good memories, like
that crystal day when the Deliberators finally awarded him controlling interest
in Access Unlimited. We had won. Kretan would no longer own bodies and souls
across the galaxy .... then Daveen’s lightship falling from orbit to crash on
Plague.” “Chanson,” said Jerlis softly. “And the mind-linked search for Daveen. I wasn’t integrated,
not Carifil, but I sensed the beauty. “And my first integration finally came. I was frightened,
and you were a warm breath of serenity. It was so easy. We sat and shared our
memories and emotions, and I learned to accept what I knew about myself as you
had accepted me. We taught each other, too, though I’m sure that most of the
learning was mine.” “That was my mistake, Tarhn. At the time, I didn’t know that
you had heard the Singer. The Carifil assumed that everyone who heard the
Singer died. It wasn’t until we understood why the Singers wanted you as Lyra’s
guide that we realized that your blanked out memories were not the result of
cold-sleep. Too late. You were on Wilderness. The Carifil need those memories,
Tarhn. And so do you. You’ll never be whole until you remember. “And you do not want to remember.” Tarhn stiffened, then forced himself to relax. Jerlis waited until he no longer struggled with himself,
then she spoke quietly. “We will begin with your first Carifil integration, then
work backwards through your life until you are a child on Tau. Neither of us
will have control over which of your memories surface. The memories will be
called forth by a key word. Each memory will be older than the preceding
memory. Do you understand and accept these conditions of integration?” she
asked formally. “Yes.” “Tarhn,” she added gently, “whatever you are afraid of, you
won’t have to face it alone. As an integrator, I have a more flexible,
experienced mind than yours. Together we can cope with and learn from your
fears. My mind is supposed to be stronger than yours, but I no longer believe
that to be true. My instincts say that even with your crippling struggle
against yourself, we are well-matched. You will have to help me.” “How?” “By fighting me as little as possible, by hiding from
yourself as little as possible.” “But I thought you could force integration, if it came to
that.” “I don’t think so, Tarhn. Not with you.” “Then get some help. I don’t want to hurt you.” “If what I believe is true, even mind-linked Carifil could
not force your awareness. But we might break you. No, we would break you. I won’t
permit that.” Jerlis put her psitran on, adjusted it minutely, and murmured
an integrator’s wordless chant of relaxation and readiness. Tarhn watched with
apprehension that grew as he realized he was more afraid for her than for
himself. She bent slightly, kissed him. “Remember you are loved. Your
pain, your fear, all that is you.” Tarhn hugged her gently, then said, “Be careful, little
mother.” “No psitran for you?” she asked. “I’ve enough power. Too much.” “What are you afraid of, Tarhn?” “I don’t know.” “Singer?” Tarhn’s body tightened. “Do you accept that as a key word?” said Jerlis. “That’s not up to me.” “Normally, no. Do you accept that word?” “Yes.” “I think we’ll skip Wilderness for now; your report was complete,
though baffling.” When Tarhn’s body showed no relaxation, they both knew she
had guessed right: Wilderness was catalyst rather than beginning. The beginning
was earlier, much earlier, but to demand it too hastily would be useless. Jerlis placed the psitran on her head and sat next to Tarhn.
With her hand on his forehead she sent the mental commands which preceded integration. Tarhn felt his defenses lowering, but it was more than
training commands which made him receptive. It was Jerlis herself; her love and
compassion permeated the harsh edges of his mind, calming. *We’ll regress from the first Carifil integration. I don’t
want to approach your memories too quickly. Remember how you felt after integration;
we talked over your tests? Remember?* *Yes, I—* SINGER “Tarhn, you’ve come a long way from the jumpy, near-savage
svarl hunter of a few years ago,” said Jerlis with obvious satisfaction. Her finger pressed a button and Tarhn’s personal file
appeared on the wallscreen. At the same time the light dimmed to a deep rose
until the outlines of the comfortable room were barely visible. Tarhn’s eyes
quickly adjusted to the new light. “As the final act of this stage of your training, you are
allowed, required, to review your file. If you have questions, I’ll answer them
if I can. Your own comments will be recorded and added to the file if you wish.” The lines of symbols rose quickly to the top of the screen
and disappeared. The rapidity of turnover caused Tarhn no difficulty. He had
proven that he could scan and assimilate data at a phenomenal rate. The first few minutes of the file dealt in minute detail
with his general physiology, health, and attainments. “Any comments?” said Jerlis. “None.” “Sure?” said Jerlis as she sensed the stifled laughter in
his voice. Tarhn laughed openly. “With the exercise, food, and healing
talent, I’d be shocked if I were anything but an ‘exemplary specimen.’” “Not shocked. Just out in the field working your nonexistent
tail off.” Next on the screen came the section which Tarhn
dreaded—psychic profile. The symbols were complex, finally giving way to
charts, diagrams, statistics, formulae, and verbal summation. Tarhn read the
words with apparent dispassion. “Initially, subject displayed symptoms of psychic distress,
manifested in physiology as high blood pressure, pH imbalance, acute muscular
tension—” The list continued, even down to a hologram depicting the reduced
oxygen flow to the brain due to vascular constriction. The conclusion however,
held Tarhn’s attention. “These symptoms no longer persist, though whether this is
due to resolution of psychic conflict or to conscious manipulation of
physiology cannot be determined. It should be noted that if the latter is
correct, the drain on mental and physical prowess would be considerable.
Subject’s profile shows no small amount of prowess, but this cannot be taken as
unobjectionable proof of psychic integration, as the subject’s mental potential
was measured only after psychic distress was ascertained. We therefore have no
true measure of subject’s undistressed potential. Nonetheless, we recommend
that subject be admitted into the Carifil.” Tarhn sighed quietly. He’d made it. “Any comments?” “Just a question. Does it make any real difference why my
symptoms disappeared?” “Of course. Part of your training is to integrate all levels
of mind. When this is accomplished, a person with, say, apparently ‘normal’
potential can raise himself several mental levels to his true or integrated
potential. Also, the unintegrated personality, no matter how brilliant, is
psychically inflexible and therefore vulnerable. In our type of life, that can
be fatal. But don’t worry; the odds are with you—you’d be our first unintegrated
seven.” Tarhn smiled but said nothing. “And if you’re worried about your—overall stress rating, don’t.
Every living mind is ‘distressed’ by certain circumstances. What matters is
degree and ability to cope. You’re doing well on both counts. If you weren’t,
it would have shown up during the flexibility simulations we put you through.” Tarhn nodded, but his relief was not undiluted. Beneath the
resilient layers which rationality, experience, and training had gently woven
over the past, he sensed a fetid ugliness. But he ignored the uncomfortable intuition
as he had all similar ones, and it became yet another barrier to full
integration, another manipulation that would drain his strength. SINGER Tarhn sat on a grassy hillock, his posture one of ease and
pleasure. Above him the slakes floated and chased one another through moist,
spring-scented winds. Close to the ground the winds became a breeze sighing
over silver foliage, lifting Tarhn’s blue-black hair playfully. Tarhn savored
the moment, then reluctantly began the exercises which would allow his mind to
be free. At first it was an effort to block out the seductive
movements of spring, but gradually he felt a distinct floating sensation which
was the first sign of the body loosening its hold on the mind. What he sought
was not the absolute severing of mind-body ties, that was death, but the
reshaping of those bonds into a strong yet light connective filament of
awareness which could reach beyond and around the rainbow sky, surging colors
bursting over his mind, dividing into three separate strands of russet, blue,
and gold. The gold pulsed with eerie beauty, beckoning vivid blue, teasing the
warmth of russet. Blue wavered, touched, joined, and became gold, only
to have gold explode into burning blue, burning, burning— A voiceless cry of danger and regret seared Tarhn’s questing
mind. The cry was from Daveen and not meant for Tarhn, but he received its
freight of fear, anguish, and love ... followed by the emptiness of deep unconsciousness
or death. With the feral swiftness of a hunter, Tarhn leaped to his
feet and raced for the compound. He sharply curbed his mind, that none of his
fears for Daveen would touch Jerlis. He could be wrong. He must be wrong. His mind had barely
begun training. A mistake. Yes. Surely. Daveen was safe and well, soon to
control the immense power of the Accesses. But when he saw Jerlis, Tarhn knew he was not mistaken. Her
very air of immaculate control told him some-tiling was wrong. “So, you felt it, too,” she said in a low voice. Tarhn nodded. “Did it seem he died?” “I’m not sure.” “Then we search,” she said quietly, handing him a psitran. Within minutes the search for Daveen spanned the galaxy as
mind after mind was alerted to the emergency. Had Tarhn the training, he could
have become a part of that transcendent, psi-linked search, but his unwillingness
to open the third level of mind relegated him to message carrier. Yet even as mere messenger, Tarhn’s flesh crept as he sensed
the scintillant power of meshed Galactic minds. Tarhn knew the search was over when Jerlis wearily removed
her psitran. Yet her face gave no hint as to whether Daveen was alive or dead. *He is both.* Jerlis’ thought had the emotional neutrality of exhaustion.
More for herself than for Tarhn, her thoughts continued. *His mind pattern lives, but in altered form. What he knew
of the galaxy is almost gone. He is newly born, and the planet of his creators
shall be his home.* Thoughts splintered on exhaustion, sending fragments of what
had happened into Tarhn’s waiting mind. Daveen orbiting Chanson to renew contact with the Singers.
Fusion drive erratic. Accident? Sabotage? Kretan? Singers? Irrelevant. Daveen’s
senses warned him seconds before the drive went critical. Lifecraft partially
disabled in explosion. Injury. Looping, bucketing dive ending in crash on
Chanson. Nothing. Singers. Singers golden in his mind, gentle, asking. And
they healed him body and mind, after their own fashion. SINGER “What did Daveen say?” said Tarhn. “Kretan gave in! Daveen will determine Access policy. No
more chattel contracts. He was given Wilderness and seven other sun systems,
plus ownership of over two thousand corporations on three hundred different
planets. And all the back profits due him will be—” “Hold up,” laughed Tarhn. “I think I get the point. He’s now
one of the richest persons in the galaxy, Kretan was kicked solidly in the ass,
and evil’s golden eyes no longer look at our galaxy.” Jerlis smiled, then looked thoughtfully at him. “ “That’s very interesting, Tarhn.” “What is?” “You associate the color gold with evil.” Tarhn smiled to conceal sudden uneasiness. “Hangover from my svarl-hunting years. What else did Daveen
say?” “Well, he won’t actually control Access Unlimited for a
year. The Deliberators felt that a sudden change might, bring social and
economic trauma.” Tarhn nodded, but his eyes were far away. Jerlis waited,
then sent a careful thought. *Is anything wrong?* Though the thought was questioning, the feeling which surrounded
it was a desire to aid rather than to pry. Though Tarhn rarely allowed his own
emotion to enter mindspeech, Jerlis invariably opened the second level of her
mind to him. For a moment Tarhn was tempted to see whether he could invite
Jerlis to share his emotions without her discovering all of what he felt. The
temptation shamed and confused him, for he didn’t even know what he wanted to
conceal from her. Perhaps— Suddenly Jerlis was inundated by a flood of emotion from
Tarhn. Shame and confusion foamed at the crest, but the wave itself was composed
of an intense, nearly obsessive desire to comb evil and its attendant miseries
from the countless stars of the galaxy. The motion had the burning clarity of
laser light, startling in its purity. It was also a child’s emotion; total, beautiful, and
tragicomic in its innocence. Jerlis reached out in understanding, and for the first time
knowingly went beyond the outer fringes of Tarhn’s mind. What she felt there
was shocking. The mind which had conceived a hatred of evil was itself hard,
savage, bitter, a place without comfort or rest or compassion. Jerlis wept silently as her mind soothed and warmed his. SINGER N’Lete and Bithe rode atop pack animals piled high with
svarl pelts. Tarhn swung easily to the rhythm of his own riding beast. The
orange sun gleamed coldly on the stock of his lasrifle. *Well done, you lazy slakes,* thought Tarhn affectionately. For once he hadn’t directed his feelings toward n’Lete
alone. And both slakes returned his affection eagerly. Tarhn laughed at himself as he remembered how he’d hesitated
to use n’Lete for svarl hunting. His fear that the golden killers would get n’Lete,
too, had proved baseless. The svarl had no natural predators, and man hadn’t
hunted them extensively enough to make them unduly wary. The slakes would swoop
down on an unsuspecting svarl and nearly immobilize it with their venom. Then
Tarhn would send the slakes away until he’d managed to finish off the svarl.
That had all been before he had his own lasrifle. Within months after he had
made the decision to use the slakes, Dnorie had been repaid the Waif Fee, plus
food pelts. His pelt wealth grew enough to buy a lasrifle, so that the slakes
no longer risked death for their friend. Tarhn looked back at the heaped, gleaming pelts, but the
usual surge of satisfaction was gone. Each year that he hunted the svarl, their
death brought less surcease to the hot, nameless gnawing in his mind. After four years he knew that svarl were only svarl. Tarhn’s frustration transmitted itself to the slakes. But it
was Bithe, rather than n’Lete, who launched himself from the pelts onto Tarhn’s
shoulder. The slake’s tongue sucked in a tentative caress on Tarhn’s neck. If
Tarhn had been prey, that same tubular tongue would have followed the entry
wounds of teeth to a major blood vessel. But Tarhn was a friend and the tongue
was meant as a gesture of friendship. When Tarhn arranged Bithe’s coils more comfortably around
his shoulders, Bithe knew that his overture had been accepted. His tongue
frisked over Tarhn’s ear and under his chin, tickling Tarhn until he laughed
and caught Bithe’s darting head. *Enough, Bithe. Do you want me to fall off from laughter?* Bithe snuggled against Tarhn’s grasp, basking in the unexpected
warmth of Tarhn’s affection. *Ah, Bithe. I’ve been unfair too long. N’Lete made a good
choice in mate.” He smoothed the resilient, folded planes of Bithe’s wing. *Though
of unknown genes, you, too, like to touch and be touched. I’ll be more
even-handed in the future, if n’Lete will let me.* N’Lete opened her electric blue eyes as Tarhn looked back at
her, then stretched her wings and fell back asleep. Tarhn laughed and disturbed her no more. Soon they would be
leaving the high, open plateau and n’Lete would be needed to reconnoiter. Only
once had bandits thought Tarhn easy prey. Whether the bandits had died by slake
venom or lasrifle was a hotly argued point among svarl hunters, for the bodies
bore marks of both. The debate, however, was academic. All hunters treated
Tarhn and the slakes with equal respect. Tarhn shifted Bithe’s coils minutely, carefully concealing
his own returning malaise. The slakes were so kerden sensitive to his moods
that he had had to train himself not to reveal the incessant gnawing in his
mind. He had hoped that the successful hunt would bring relief. Fifty svarl: an
impossible number within the time limit given. Mama Firk had smiled strangely
when she’d placed the order. Fifty svarl in thirty planet days. It’s a test,
boy, to see whether you’re as good as my men claim. If you are, I’ll send you
to some friends I have, powerful friends .... Well, he’d been better. Most hunters were pleased to take
one svarl in a week. The very best hunters sometimes might take two. By finding
and killing two svarl a day, every day, he’d done something which would be a legend. But the successful hunt was a bad taste in his mind. The monotonous
killing and skinning, killing and skinning, dragged on him more than the
physical labor ever could. Tarhn writhed deep within himself as unacknowledged memories
of golden death burned relentlessly. SINGER Cold sharp wind blowing over miles of geometric landscape. A
flash of gold between the rugged red rocks of Feldenshold’s back country. Without thought or pause, Tarhn snatched the lasrifle from
Dnorie’s rough hand. Before the startled woman could recover, a quiet lethal
beam of energy felled the fleeing svarl. “Not bad, halfling,” Dnorie said grudgingly. “But the next
time you take my lase I’ll peel your dirty hide for bait.” Tarhn ignored her threat. Though only twelve, his body was
nearly a match for any other, including the Monsen hunter who stood next to
him. Experience, however, was clearly on her side. They glanced at the bottom of the rocky slope where the
svarl lay. Light glanced off the spun gold fur, imitating the movements of life.
But both knew better; he had killed it with a shot any hunter could brag on. “That’s one for you, even though you used my lase. Now you
only owe me ten more, plus one for every month I feed you.” “How can I hunt svarl without a lasrifle?” demanded Tarhn. “That’s your trail, halfling. Read it any way you like.” Tarhn stemmed his rising rage by signaling the slakes to
feed. He knew that their blood-sucking made Dnorie uneasy. But frustration
still simmered as he slid down the rocky slope to view his kill. Dnorie gave
him no time to set traps—and even if she did it would take a year or more just
to pay off the contract. Not to mention the wild fee of one pelt for a month’s
food. In fact, the years since he had come to Feldenshold had been a series of
senseless limitations and humiliations. His servant had been robbed and killed
not long after they arrived, leaving him to find his own way through the crude
and violent frontier towns of Feldenshold. The Waif Station had doled out
meager allotments of food and shelter until it was decided that he had learned
enough pig Galactic to be indentured. Dnorie was one of the many people who
prodded and paraded him, but she was the only one who thought him worth the
Waif Fee. Five svarl pelts, b grade or above, to repay the Fee. Six
months’ training in svarl hunting, One dead svarl. Ten more owing, until next
month, then eleven, then twelve, then— Tarhn shrugged off his complaints. Since the first time he
had seen a holocube of a svarl, he’d been obsessed with the idea of killing
them. Dnorie was an expensive means to that end. Tarhn’s mood lifted as he reached the dead svarl. A strange
exultation shook him as he saw its yellow eyes glazed and dull with death.
Eight hundred pounds of golden killer would never move again. No more would
this svarl bring unsuspected, hideous death. No more would this svarl stalk
gracefully across the frigid rim-rocks of Feldenshold. No more— Skin it. Dnorie’s matter of fact order punctured Tarhn’s excitement.
He drew his long knife, and with the ease and economy of a professional he
began to prepare the svarl for skinning. SINGER Clereth had discovered the broken sculpture. Without a word
she got the blindfold and wrist ties. “Just because you’re a Conditional Helix, you think everyone
else is a worthless bithe to be ignored,” hissed Clereth as she tied her son’s
wrists behind his back and blindfolded him. “It was my planning, my genes, my
training that made you what you are. And you will respect me!” Rage and fear fought within him as she left him alone in darkness
which even his night sight could not penetrate. He screamed his fear, then his
hatred. With all the strength ten years had given him he hated and fought and
hated, hated, until exhaustion slumped his body to the floor. In the absolute
darkness the sound of his own helpless panting terrified him afresh. He held
his breath to stop the sound. A rapid clicking noise was heard even above the roaring
blood in his ears. N’Lete! Clereth had forgotten to close the window and n’Lete
had come to him. Sobbing very quietly, Tarhn lowered his cheek against the cold
floor, no longer alone. A slower series of clicks startled Tarhn. N’Lete was still;
what other slake moved over the floor? When n’Lete coiled her body to make room
for the stranger, Tarhn understood. It must be the wild slake he called
Bithe—lowborn. N’Lete would loll any other slake which touched her. With a sigh, Tarhn relaxed and waited for his mother to
release him. Tonight was the Gathering of Genocrats. Even if she wanted to, she
couldn’t keep a future First Helix away. As he had expected, Clereth waited as long as possible
before releasing him. She neither spoke nor looked at Tarhn during the short
flight to the Hall of Genocrats. When the flyer touched down Clereth moved into
the crowd without a backward look. With the slakes riding his shoulders, he
scrambled down the steep, narrow steps of the flyer and into the crowd. Were it
not for the hissing, wingspread slakes he would have been late. But the crowd
parted hastily before the dangerous slakes, allowing him to reach his own seat
next to Clereth just as Flerhan, the reigning First Helix, was beginning her
speech. The words were nearly unintelligible to Tarhn. Clereth spoke
mostly in the command dialect, and while the words were the same as those of
ordinary conversation, the inflection was very different. The last sentence, however,
was in the command accent; he understood it easily. “Listen well. Decide well. We judge a race’s fitness to
enter the Galactic Concord.” Electric blue lights pulsed rapidly, signaling the end of
the speech. Tarhn’s eyes strained to cope with the changing brightness. When he
could see clearly again, an alien stood where the First Helix had been. Tarhn looked once, then sighed with boredom. The Singer
looked too much like a pale yellow Tau to be exciting. Then he flicked on the
chair screen and his interest quickened. Golden eyes, brilliant. He stared at
the alien eyes, fascinated by their depth and color. Surely no Tau ever had
such eyes. Even the strangers who came through the Accesses did not have such
eyes. The lips on the screen parted and a low, sweet melody sprang
into being. No devices amplified or modified the Singer’s voice, and none was
needed. The huge hall quivered with strange music. Tarhn relaxed, hands loose in his lap, fingers quiet for the
first time. Two voices sang where only one had sung before, but he did not
think it strange. He closed his eyes and sank into the brilliant mist of music,
each note a separate drop of wonder which brushed his skin and dissolved into
his mind. But the cool mist became blistering acid. A soundless scream
of pain stiffened him, only to be erased by the pulsing colors of knowledge
elusive, scattered, reborn as faces, Clereth’s face, distorted by agony beyond
his understanding. A vivid stream of empathy became a cataract of grief, remorse,
and self-hatred which could not be contained by life. Then nothing except the song telling him (no) SINGER Cool mist and acid screaming, erased. Colors unwanted. Clereth
agony, remorse, hatred. Song telling no SINGER Screaming erased colors. Clereth agony. Song telling ... no. SINGER Screaming Clereth. Song. No. SINGER No! SINGER No! Jerlis flexed her aching body. So close, close. Not enough.
She/Tarhn tension increasing. Allform couch struggling to relax her. No. Tarhn.
Tarhn was separate. Biomonitor showing massive stress responses. Jerlis watched and felt, still in the dual world of
integration where she and Tarhn were almost one. When his body relaxed
completely, she knew/felt that it was an act, the same act which had limited
his potential for all those futile years, wasted. “I failed you, Tarhn. Your training ... you’re supposed to
be integrated at least down to the fourth level, because—” “—only then can the mind be free for total development,” finished
Tarhn bitterly. “And because I am a seven we all knew I was an integrated
personality. That’s so much slakeshit. There are as many pieces in my mind as
there are planets in a solar system.” *What is your sun, Tarhn,* thought Jerlis persuasively,
aiming deep into his mind with all the strength and skill she commanded. *Sun, flaming center of life. So many suns, gleaming red,
flaring gold ... gold, twin flares of gold that are really Tau blue—* Abruptly Tarhn’s mind shut in upon itself, leaving Jerlis
with barely a thread of contact, but it was enough. A film of sweat covered
Tarhn’s skin, but it was cold to her touch. She swore bitterly as her hands and
mind worked over him. She knew that his withdrawal reaction was panic; she could
feel the coldness of it seeping into her mind. But such panic could only come
from an inflexible mind confronted with a situation which threatened the mind’s
entire world view. The part of her that was Jerlis aloof rejected such panic as
impossible. The part of her mind that was his laughed hollowly, warningly. A lethal bolt of hatred seared Jerlis in the microinstant
before her defenses closed. Tarhn or something that was part of Tarhn had
surfaced. She waited until she sensed that he was once again in control of
himself. “Did you find your sun?” she said mildly. When no blazing hatred met her question, Jerlis relaxed her
defenses. Immediately a rich mixture of anger, regret, and indelible fear
flowed from Tarhn to her. The contact went beyond the conversational level to
the second and third, instantly telling Jerlis of the spinning chaos of his
emotions and needs. She gathered Tarhn like a child against her, held him until
the convulsive shudders of mind and body subsided. *What was it, Tarhn; what did the Singer tell you?* Jerlis’ compassionate thought found no answer, for Tarhn had
none. Nor did he wish one. Both knew that she had done as much as he would
allow, that only one other mind could do more, and that he would die before he
accepted another Singer into his mind. V*Tarhn.* It was Jerlis. Tarhn called the slakes from their soaring
and returned to the compound. In the days since integration he had become
calmer, definitely more in control. But he worried about Jerlis. She had been
so tired after trying, and so depressed at what she called her failure. *Jerlis?* *We’re in the sky room.* Tarhn settled the slakes more firmly about his shoulders and
went up to the sky room. Dachen began speaking the moment the door hissed shut. “I’m convinced of one thing, Tarhn. You hate the Singers.
The fact of hate is unimportant for now. I want to know why you hate.” Dachen lifted his hand abruptly to cut off Tarhn’s words. “The reasons of a frightened child are not good enough for a
man of your mental ability; they sure as shit don’t impress me.” “Would you prefer I love her—as Iandrel seems to?” “Jealous?” shot back Dachen. “No,” said Tarhn neutrally. “Were it anyone but Lyra I would
be pleased; since Meraile was killed Iandrel has walked in grief.” Jerlis made a startled sound. “Were you there when Lyra met Iandrel?” “No. Why?” “Lyra took one look at him and said, ‘You walk in grief.’
Then she apologized for speaking truth to a stranger, saying it was a breach of
Courtesy—” “What did Iandrel say?” asked Dachen curiously. “He asked her whether she spoke truth to strangers on Chanson.” “And?” “She said there were neither lies nor strangers on Chanson.” Dachen sensed there was more, but Jerlis seemed reluctant. “Go on,” he said finally. Jerlis looked apprehensively at Tarhn. “Don’t worry, little mother,” he said gently. “I’ll not
explode again, thanks to your help.” Jerlis sighed. “I’ll warn you, Dachen, what Lyra said will
only confuse you more. Iandrel told her that he would be her teacher while she
was on Centrex, unless his sadness harmed her.” “Is she vulnerable to just anyone’s emotions?” asked Tarhn,
surprised in spite of himself. “Yes,” said Jerlis slowly, “but only to a degree. She said
that his mind was strong and deep, but only partially compatible with hers.
Then, as though it explained everything, she added, “I’m sure your grief will
neither destroy nor create me. I have experienced it before. After those
Singers who visited the galaxy dispersed, their complements quickly followed.
All but one, my mother’s mother. As one of the few surviving starsingers, her
talents were needed. She delayed the finality of dispersion that she might
serve those who needed life. Her aura was much like yours.’” Dachen sat silently for a moment with the air of one who is
sorting and filing facts in hope of future correlation. At last he said, “Dispersion?
Not just death?” “Yes.” Dachen frowned, then turned back to Tarhn. “We’ve found that
while hatred can sometimes force mental development, the results are considerably
less than they would have been in the absence of hatred. You’re no different.
And even if you could stretch your mind so that you could control or have
revenge upon the Singers, what do you do afterwards?” “Stop hating.” “Never,” said Dachen flatly. “As long as you don’t know why
you really hate, hatred will rule you. The Singers feed your hatred now.
Without them, hatred would be hungry; it must be fed. If not by the Singers,
then by its host. You.” Jerlis waited tautly for Tarhn’s response. It was a long
time in coming. “How much time can the Carifil give me?” he said quietly. “If it were only us,” said Dachen, “all eternity. You’re
omega, Tarhn, one of those minds we search and pray for and so rarely find. But
the Carifil aren’t the only ones waiting. Elenda believes the Singers also
wait.” “For what?” said Tarhn and Jerlis together. Dachen shrugged. “She doesn’t know. Yet when a nine has a
hunch, we kerden well pay attention! Quite simply, Tarhn, you have as much time
as circumstances and the Singers give you. Are you really in control?” “More than ever,” he said firmly. “I hope that’s good enough. I’m no seer, but my waking
dreams have been vivid and uncomfortable.” Tarhn didn’t press; if Dachen had anything helpful, it
wouldn’t be kept secret. Tarhn stroked the slakes absently, knowing that the
tension radiating from Dachen was disturbing them. When they would not be calm,
he shooed them off the balcony. He watched their long vivid bodies shrink to
indigo dots before he turned back to the room. “Do you trust me enough to let me continue as Lyra’s guard?” “Trust? Irrelevant. You’re our best hope of controlling the
situation.” “And,” added Jerlis, “of understanding the Singers. You have
had more experience with her than any of us.” “Iandrel?” said Tarhn. “Not the same,” said Jerlis. “Their minds are compatible
enough for good friendship, good sex. But they are far from complements and
they both know it. Very much like you and Jasilyn.” Tarhn smiled crookedly as Jerlis hurried out of the room to
answer an unheard summons. Then he turned back to Dachen. “Will Iandrel let me
observe Lyra through him? Lyra won’t act normally if she senses me near.” “What’s normal for a Singer?” said Dachen. Tarhn’s hand moved impatiently. “You’ve heard my ideas on
that.” “At length,” agreed Dachen. “The fact remains that we need
knowledge we can all agree on, and quickly. Iandrel’s been with her, but he has
learned nothing useful. Not his failure—we decided Lyra needed quiet time after
Wilderness. And you. Right now, though, if you’re really in control, I might
chance a confrontation between you two.” Tarhn frowned, then spoke slowly, carefully. “Jerlis considers my integration a failure. I don’t. What happened
afterwards ... convinced me that my view of the Singers is biased by deep emotions.
I’m not so bloodthirsty now as I was then. Nor am I a convert. I’m skeptical of
the Singers and of myself in relation to them.” Dachen smiled widely. “Good. If the Singers fool us in spite
of our efforts, that’s life. If we fool ourselves, that’s stupidity. Now, Iandrel’s
been mindlinked with Lyra to as great a degree as is possible for them. He
found neither danger nor difficulty in the link. In truth, he found as much
pleasure as in a similar link with a Carifil. But he did sense ... loss or urgency
or pressure, and found she had had little experience in coping with them. That’s
why I’m reluctant to—” Dachen’s head lifted in an attitude of attentiveness. Tarhn
waited without comment, knowing his friend was listening to a silent message.
Within seconds, Dachen began and ended a searing monologue in his native
tongue. Tarhn didn’t know the exact translation, nor did he want to. “Critical mass,” said Dachen in Galactic. “Kretan knows the
Carifil have Lyra. Instead of trying to save the Singers, he’s forcing a full
Assembly hearing.” “When?” “Five Centrex days. That vindictive, zarfsucking—” Dachen
reverted to the language of Rynlonne again. “But she’s his path to the Supreme Helix,” said Tarhn. “No
Tau would kill his children’s future.” “Oh?” said Dachen sardonically. “Well, maybe he’s just trying
to force us to return Lyra to Chanson, hoping he can grab her somewhere off Centrex
again. But I wouldn’t bet a cold turd on it. Kretan will kill whatever is necessary
to keep the controlling interest in AU out of Carifil hands.” “Elenda’s sure he wants death for the Singers?” “Yes.” Tarhn watched Dachen’s thin, strong legs devour the room in
three long strides. He didn’t share the Rynlon’s anguish at the Singers’
probable fate, but Tarhn disliked seeing his friend suffer. “We have five days,” began Tarhn. “That’s kerden little time
to save a race of people. Or ourselves,” he added in a muttered afterthought. “Then let’s question the Singer we have.” “Lyra?” “She’s the only Singer I know of off Plague,” said Tarhn
dryly. “She’s also under enough pressure to break seven mindlinked
Carifil. Can you imagine being the sole spokesman at the death trial of your
own race? Our hostile interrogation won’t help her.” “She seems cool enough.” “You haven’t touched her mind lately,” said Dachen succinctly.
“And the lines around her mouth—do you remember seeing them before you knew she
was a Singer?” Tarhn gestured ambiguously; he thought as little as possible
about the time before he knew what Lyra really was. “Then think about it, my thick-skulled Tau. What happens to
us if Lyra breaks? We might as well hand her, and the galaxy, over to your
fanatic uncle now and save her a lot of suffering.” Tarhn felt Dachen’s orange eyes weigh him, sensed his friend’s
strange mixture of bafflement and anger and compassion. “I’ve failed you,” said Tarhn. “I don’t give a zarf’s crusted ass who failed or didn’t
fail!” thundered Dachen. Then, more quietly. “All that was yesterday; we’re
living now. Now! Most of us want to live all our tomorrows, too. So we’ll talk
to Lyra as a group. If that doesn’t help the Singers’ case materially .... I
don’t know, Tarhn. I don’t know. She’s asked to leave Centrex. Why shouldn’t we
let her? Why should we force her to spend her last days of life with the excruciating
torture of being hated at close range by the man who is her complement?” Tarhn felt anger surge, but realized it was futile. Dachen
was right. “Then I’ll leave,” said Tarhn quietly. “No. Not until ...” “Until what? Do you want her to break?” ‘“I haven’t given up hope of a ... solution between you two,”
said Dachen slowly. “If Lyra can take it, so can I.” He looked at Tarhn curiously.
“Don’t you want—” “No,” said Tarhn quickly, too quickly. “Perhaps if Elenda and I shared our unity with you, then you
would know what waits for you in Lyra.” “I know what waits,” Tarhn said thickly. “Death.” “Did it seem like death before you knew she was a Singer?” Unbidden memories of Lyra and himself, of their minds and
bodies joined in a life so consuming it was indeed like death, the special
death of gods that rise from the ashes renewed, revitalized, reborn in the
rhythms of ecstasy— *Forgive me, my brother. I had no right to ask.* Tarhn felt
Dachen’s gentle-sad thought, drew a ragged breath, forced the sweet fire of
memories to abate. “The others are coming,” said Dachen suddenly. “Lyra?” ‘In the library. If the others agree, she’ll join us.” Soon Elenda, Jasilyn, and Iandrel and Jerlis came into the
room, closely followed by Fiodor and Koto. Iandrel looked around and smiled
without humor. “Look at us, grouped together in the flesh like savages
afraid of the dark.” “I don’t know about you,” said Jasilyn with a slow smile, “but
I link much better in the flesh.” Iandrel laughed and bowed to her. “I’ve never won an argument
with you yet.” Jasilyn leaned lightly against him and whispered, “That’s because
you only use your mind.” Jerlis laughed. “Jasilyn, you’re shameless.” “Of course,” said Jasilyn serenely. Tarhn joined the general
laughter as Jasilyn led Iandrel to a double couch, her body rippling with
exaggerated provocation. But by the time Elenda finished outlining the problem,
the last echo of laughter was forgotten. “A Singer brief in five days?” said Iandrel incredulously. “We
don’t know enough to say spit to a svarl, much less to convince the Assembly
that the Singers are harmless.” “We don’t know that they are harmless,” said Tarhn. “Lyra’s no killer,” Iandrel said flatly. “I doubt that she’d
kill even in self-defense. Look at Wilderness.” “Have you learned anything which would sway the Assembly?”
said Elenda. “Lyra is ... well, Lyra. She’s extremely sophisticated in
the generally constructive emotions of man—friendship, love, completion, and
the like. She’s utterly naive about hatred, greed, jealousy, cruelty, and all
the other mainly destructive emotions of man. You could say that she is
uniquely ‘good’ or you could say she is only half-human—whichever would help
the Singers in the Assembly vote.” “Did she sing for you?” said Tarhn. “No. You know she was forbidden to sing as a condition of
leaving Chanson.” Tarhn’s silence eloquently pointed out that edict or no,
Lyra had sung on Wilderness. “Would you be willing to hear her sing?” said Elenda. “Delighted,” answered Iandrel immediately. “It may come to that—for all of us,” said Elenda. “Anything
else to add before we go to the source?” Silence. Tarhn shifted to a more comfortable position while they
waited for Lyra to arrive. Only Jerlis noticed that more comfortable meant
having a wall at his back. He was grateful that she said nothing with either
tongue or mind. Even with his back guarded, Tarhn was unprepared for his own
reactions when Lyra hesitated at the entrance to the room. He saw her as
piercingly beautiful, a flawless amber sculpture, rich with lambent mystery. “By the sacred bone,” said Jasilyn into the spreading
silence. “Why has Tarhn been wasting his time with me!” With her words, Jasilyn sent Tarhn a blurred feeling of
rowdy, laughing sex. “That’s not a waste of time,” said Lyra distinctly, sadly. Jasilyn’s surprise at having her thought intercepted gave
way to laughter. “No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “Surprised you think so though.” Tarhn wasn’t, but he kept that fact to himself. Lyra smiled fleetingly, then said to no one and everyone, “I
will be pleased to talk about my people, my Singers ... but could we first talk
about Galactic culture?” Tarhn moved restlessly, then felt a casual, calming thought
from Jerlis. “What’ll it be?” said Iandrel. “History of Galactic gene
pools? Trans-time physics? Trans-light cellular—” Lyra’s laughter deepened into rich music, then she became
suddenly serious. “There’s so much I don’t know.” “You know the basics—compassion, honesty, love.” Lyra shook her head slowly. “That’s not enough, is it? Not out here. Talk to me about hatred,
Iandrel. I’ve read the many definitions in your library. Not enough.
Intellectual knowledge is only half-truth until it’s integrated with emotional
experience.” “Surely you felt Tarhn’s hatred.” Tarhn winced at the anger in Iandrel’s mind. Lyra also winced,
but for a different reason. “Yes, I felt it. As little as possible.” Iandrel started to ask Lyra if she had ever hated anything,
then showed his intelligence by approaching the question from a different door. “Have you ever not loved anything?” “Of course. I separate liking, companionship, complements,
and the many other feelings in between which Galactic has no words for.” Iandrel tried again ... “If you don’t like, love, and so forth, how do you feel?” “I feel nothing,” she said simply. Iandrel silently queried Tarhn. *She never returned my hatred,* admitted Tarhn. *Where others
would have, she just went null.* Iandrel sat lost in thought, fingers idly playing with a
bowl of polished pebbles on the table next to him. The pebbles shone in subtle
grey shades punctuated by occasional startling white and deep black. He chose
five pebbles shone in subtle gray shades punctuated by oc— “Now,” said Iandrel, pulling the table around in front of
Lyra. “We’ll call this pebble the relationship of complements.” He set the smooth white stone on the table, feeling the
weight not only of Lyra’s attention, but the minute and patient scrutiny of
Carifil minds. He concentrated only on Lyra as he placed a cream-colored stone
next to the white one. “This is love-friendship-like.” To the immediate silent objections of his friends, Iandrel
said, “I know, I know. They aren’t the same thing, but I’d have to spend the
rest of the afternoon picking pebbles if I showed all the gradations of human
emotion.” Lyra hesitated, then made a gesture which meant proceed, I reserve
judgment. Iandrel put a light gray stone near the cream-colored one. “This,” he said, tapping the stone lightly, “is neutral or
no emotion.” He looked at the three stones reflectively, then at Lyra. “Apparently,
this is the complete spectrum of your emotions. Now, let me show you how the
rest of the races of man feel.” A slate gray stone dropped into line. “Dislike,” said Iandrel shortly. “A moderately strong
feeling. It results in arguments, discomfort, general malaise. And this,” he
said, holding a black stone in his palm, “is hatred. It results in violence,
agony, destruction. It is one of the two keys to the mind of man.” The bitterness in Iandrel’s voice made Lyra’s nerves leap. “Space is black,” she said softly, “yet it doesn’t hate.” With a weary gesture Iandrel scrambled the pebbles; they
clicked loudly in the silence. “The colors are symbolic rather than definitive,” said
Jerlis softly. “Most of the races of man see poorly at night and fear what they
cannot see. To them darkness means danger, fear, death. Light is their solace.” Lyra reached out and lined the stones up again, preserving
the sequence from white to black. “Do all people feel this spectrum?” she said, her eyes
watching Iandrel. Iandrel looked at the reassembled stones, then removed the
white one. His hand hovered over the creamy pebble for a moment; he smiled
wryly. “I should have chosen more pebbles. Most people know at
least some degree of friendship. Some even know love. All know dislike. Nearly all
know hatred.” “And none know a complement?” The surprised pain in Lyra’s voice made Iandrel pause. He
put the white stone back on the table. “A few, Lyra,” he said gently. “Very few.” Lyra stood quietly in the bated silence, then said, “I must
know more about this hatred. Can you teach me?” “I’d rather not.” “But,” said Lyra, covering all but the two darkest stones
with her hand, “I belong to the races of man. I have a cross-fertility index of
91% and a phenotype of 5 3. Yet I’m only half-human by emotional standards. How
can I ever find completion if I’m so lacking in emotion?” “Hatred obstructs completion,” said Iandrel curtly. Tarhn did not need mindtouch to know who Iandrel’s words
were directed to. “I have briefly, very briefly, touched countless minds,”
said Lyra, her eyes opaque with memories. “Always I searched for a mind which
had potential for ultimate compatibility with mine. I touched no mind with even
minimum potential except Tarhn’s.” Lyra stopped and a too familiar look of confusion on her face
rankled Tarhn. Iandrel coldly indicated that Tarhn should control himself. “At first,” continued Lyra, “I wasn’t sure that Tarhn’s
feeling toward me was hatred. I knew only that the emotion was painful,
destructive to both of us. When I named it hatred, he did not say no.” “There are countless minds you haven’t touched, Lyra,” said
Elenda. “Among them you will find completion.” “Perhaps. If I had time to search. And even then, the mind I
found would have been touched by the darker spectrum of emotions.” Tarhn felt Iandrel swearing, but refrained from making any
comment. “You see,” she said firmly, “I must know hatred in order to
find completion.” “You’re too vulnerable. Hatred will destroy you,” said
Dachen. “I’ll go slowly. Like the serum you wanted to give me before
I left Chanson; I’ll take only enough hatred to make me immune.” Iandrel’s mind belied his laughter, but in the end he
agreed. “As you wish, Lyra. Well begin the immunization with a dose
of Galactic history. Then we’ll go to the armory.” “Armory?” “Yes. Weapons are a useful measure of hatred. Or fear.” “Fear ...” “Yes. When you understand fear, you’ll have little trouble understanding
hatred.” He looked at her, then asked abruptly, “Don’t you fear Tarhn?” “I ... no. Should I?” “He can and might kill you.” Lyra said nothing, nor did her face or mind hint at her
thoughts. “Do you like the thought of dying?” said Iandrel. “If I wanted death, I would be dead. Death is but a pause,
an ingathering between lives.” “It’s not that simple,” said Iandrel, his mind and voice
haunted by memories. “Sometimes ...” “If you really wanted death, it would come,” said Lyra. “Your
mind is still divided between duty and longing, life and rebirth.” Anger flashed in Iandrel’s eyes like sun on a glacier. Tarhn
felt the thought Iandrel left unspoken: she was so completely sure of herself.
So immune. “Forgive me, Iandrel. Yours is the greater experience. I’ve
never known full completion, cannot fully empathize with its loss. I’ve known
only Singers; they are not like the other races of man.” “I suppose they’re perfect gods,” said Tarhn sarcastically. “Gods?” she said, looking swiftly at Tarhn. “Gods ... that
is another thing you must teach me about,” said Lyra, turning back to Iandrel. “Singers
have no gods and no hatreds. Are the two connected?” Iandrel laughed, then looked thoughtful. “I’ve never
considered that possibility. Perhaps.” “Perhaps it’s time to talk Singers rather than philosophies,”
said Tarhn in a clipped voice. “Let’s start with why the Singers wanted Lyra
off Chanson.” “No Singer could be my complement,” said Lyra, her voice
that incredible blend of truth and mystery and white song. “Could not or would not?” shot back Tarhn. Lyra’s amber eyes lingered over his face, making him writhe
with memories quickly buried. “Could not,” she said. “The necessary combination of genes
and experience did not exist on Chanson. Perhaps because so many starsingers
died in what you call the plague. Perhaps not; my mother, too, required a Galactic
mate.” “Did the Singers cause Daveen to crash?” Tarhn’s voice made Lyra shrink back for a moment, then she
straightened and faced him unflinchingly. “I don’t know. I do know that his genes made possible the
birth of a ... my birth.” “A what?” snapped Tarhn. “A focus.” “What does that mean, Lyra?” said Elenda before Tarhn could
continue his interrogation. “Simply that: a focus. You have no other word for what I am.” Iandrel overrode Tarhn’s caustic disagreement by saying, “How
are you different from other Singers?” “I am less vulnerable to destructive emotions.” “Less ... ?” “Far less,” said Lyra firmly. “I have walked among Galactics
for many days, yet I live.” Lyra waited, silent and poised, for the next question. When
none came, she said quietly, “I have learned much from your language. Much
could be learned from mine.” Dachen sighed. “We’re not even sure that the Singers have a
language. It sounded like singing to the contact team. Put bluntly, Lyra, we
have little reason to trust a Singer’s song.” “That is your loss.” Tarhn looked at her sharply, but said nothing. “It could be the Singers’ loss,” said Dachen. “That too,” agreed Lyra calmly. “Let Lyra tell us something simple in her own language,”
said Jasilyn suddenly. “Like what the Singers do or say when they meet each
other.” “Why that?” said Iandrel. Jasilyn grinned. “Rituals tell a lot about a culture. Take
the Qenx, for example—” “You would,” laughed Iandrel. Tarhn laughed silently; Qenx greeting rituals were the
scandal of the Concord. Lyra smiled, then said, “I’m afraid the Singers would disappoint
you, Jasilyn.” “Try me,” she answered promptly. A cascade of sound poured over them, rushing, evocative,
sung by a thousand voices serene. Tarhn fought as the room dissolved,
threatening to re-form under new knowledge, new reality. “—feel I should know what that meant,” said Dachen
wistfully. “So beautiful.” Tarhn’s mind cleared and he realized that the others had not
heard what he had, had not reacted in the same way. And the song had been only
three beats long. Only three. “Can you translate?” said Elenda. Lyra frowned as she reviewed her knowledge of Galactic. “May your thoughts/songs be the nexus/matrix of creation,”
she said slowly, then made a swift gesture of denial with her hands. “That
leaves out too much. Thoughts, to the Singers, are that-which-shapes-energy.
Creation, defined by the lower voice, means
becoming-of-intelligent-mindfriends. The higher voice praises energy as the
source of infinite potential for variety in ... intelligent life experiences.” “All that in three seconds?” yelped Jasilyn. “My translation was poor,” apologized Lyra. “I left out the—” “I’ll take your word for it,” said Jasilyn hurriedly. “Thank you,” said Lyra. “You have a question, Dachen?” “Call it a clarification. To the Singers, thought shapes
energy. Is that meant in the sense that if one does not think, one cannot
create?” Lyra gestured agreement. “But even with thought,” continued Dachen, “my direct creations
are limited to the inherent strength of my body. This room, the entire
compound, is but the indirect result of thought. Machinery sculpted the land,
erected the buildings, brought plants and animals from far planets. For us,
machines are necessary to implement many of our thoughts.” “I ... understand,” said Lyra hesitantly. “The Singers have
no machines.” “Do Singers need machines?” “No.” “Then their minds can act directly on matter; they can do as
much with unaided thought as we can do with machines. Probably more.” Tarhn literally held his breath. If Lyra admitted the
Singers’ power, she was assuring their deaths. Or was she? Dachen’s acid
comment about savages and lightships ... “I’m not sure. The shape of energy which you call the Access
is known to the Singers, yet the only off-planet trip within genetic memory was
taken by means of your machines. Perhaps they lack the people for the song
which warps space; the Singers grow fewer every year.” *So much for your population pressure theory,” thought
Jerlis to Tarhn.* *It wasn’t much of a theory. And we’re not sure she’s
telling the truth.* *She hasn’t lied yet.* Tarhn’s impatience crackled around his thought like summer
lightning. *Fine. She could be a perfectly innocent nova. The results
are the same whether innocent or guilty.* “—know why?” said Dachen. “Not yet.” Tarhn’s restlessness increased. “Question, Tarhn?” said Dachen. “Yes. Lyra says that the Singers are vulnerable to so-called
destructive emotions. How vulnerable?” Tarhn saw twin points of gold leap in the center of amber
eyes, felt a haunting echo of music though Lyra was absolutely still. When she
did speak, there was no music in her voice and her mind was as closed as his. “Any mind which complements mine can destroy me. Or create
me. Directed thoughts/emotions from many, many minds can destroy me. Or create
me.” “How?” said Dachen. “You ask me what it is to be a Singer, yet forbid me to
sing. Would you ask a slake to describe flight by walking on the ground?” Tarhn sensed a flow of thought between Dachen, Elenda, and
Jerlis. “That would be unreasonable,” agreed Dachen. “But can you sing
without hurting us?” “Of course,” said Lyra, her voice rich with surprise. “Songs
are meant for pleasure, for ... enlightening.” “I vote for pleasure,” said Jasilyn. “That way I’ll know
whether anything is lost in the translation.” “I doubt that the Singers had lust in mind,” said Dachen
dryly. “Do you consider lust undesirable?” said Lyra. “Well ... no,” Dachen said. “As long as everyone involved
knows that nothing more nor less than body pleasure is intended.” “In that, at least, Galactic and Singer are alike,” said
Lyra. “We consider lust an intense, though inherently limited pleasure. We have
many songs which celebrate sensuality. You can help me sing one of them.” “How?” “You’ll see,” smiled Lyra. Tarhn felt his body tense as Lyra’s eyes sought his. The
room lights dimmed and he knew another of those wrenching instants when he saw
himself through her half-gold eyes ... a reclining shadow figure, body rippling
with life, subtle movements reflected and increased by skin molded over flowing
muscles. “... will be volitional. That is, you’ll hear and feel only
as much as you desire,” said Lyra. Tarhn sensed the waiting gather and condense into sensuous
lips murmuring simple melody, singing without harmony, testing the response,
soothing as a smooth spring day when he had watched clouds shaped by warm
winds. And the song was a spring wind touching him, lifting black
hair and teasing naked skin into awareness. Notes poised, trembled, waited
until his sigh remembered the wind’s caress lingering, asked more. Song tumbled down, down, weaving upon itself the sensuous
texture of living velvet, surrounding him with vibrant awareness. Song touching
and cherishing every aspect of his flesh. And indrawn breath asked more. Laughter and wind and sweet velvet clinging, spiraling into
flawless duet of sensual possibility. Notes like agile tongues touching,
trilling dissonance nipping aroused flesh. Laughter rode the wind beyond sound,
returned in rhythmic waves deep with music, haunted by contralto echo’s,
distant, promising, dissolving. Tarhn opened his eyes, knew the heat and strength of passion
and the memory of Wilderness was twisting agony and need. And fury. *Half-gened bastard!* He was aware of the others brought to their feet by the
force of his thought, but they were only shadows against the incandescent
reality of Lyra. Anguish flowed, yet he couldn’t say whether its source was her
or himself, then knew it was both, that the song roused Singer and Galactic
alike. His nerves writhed as a distant cataract of song poured from a mental
wound, bleeding agony beyond his ability or wish to know. With a convulsive shudder his control returned. “An exciting song, Lyra Mara,” he said finally. “Perhaps you
have a song that would tell us why the Singers are so eager to have you mated
that they descend to pandering.” “Complemented, not mated,” said Lyra. “There is a difference
between the two states. But that doesn’t answer your question, does it? I am a
focus: complemented, we will be the channel of awesome creation; uncomplemented,
I will be the channel of immense destruction.” When they asked for an explanation, she said only, “Am I a
prisoner here?” Music flared at the edge of visibility around her, and Tarhn
was certain that the others finally saw it, heard it, felt it. “Could we prevent your leaving?” said Dachen. “No.” “Then you aren’t a prisoner.” “My people are hostage to your fear.” “If you are free,” countered Elenda, “how can they be hostage?” “My people die while we juggle words,” said Lyra harshly. Tarhn’s nerves leaped at the pain and impatience which crackled
through Lyra’s words. “What does that mean?” he demanded. Lyra turned again to face him, music flickering subtly
around her. “It means that my people have little time. I must be
completed soon, if it takes a thousand Galactics to replace one unwilling Tau!” Lyra’s eyes became golden flames; when she spoke again, it
was not to anyone in the room. He heard music redolent of regret, explaining— “You’re in contact with the Singers,” he said accusingly. “I have always been.” Jerlis exchanged swift thoughts with the others, then said, “Will
you tell us what they said?” For the first time Lyra moved restlessly, fingers dancing
over folded arms, mouth thin with unknown pressures. “They said that Tarhn is my completion; my genes were shaped
for his. To search again is futile; before I find another or others the Concord
will have slain my people. And me.” Jerlis didn’t bother to deny what could too well become
truth. “There are other things to consider before you run away,”
said Jerlis. “Your people need you.” “And I need peace. I can no longer cope with his hatred,” “Your people need you alive and free,” continued Jerlis
evenly. “Kretan a Harnan n’Ahler prefers you dead or captive. If you leave
Centrex we can’t guarantee your safety.” “I should have stayed with Kretan; he could have taught me
much,” Lyra said. “More than you’d want to learn,” said Iandrel quickly. “To be Tarhn, I need to learn more.” “Lyra,” said Iandrel in soothing tones, “Kretan will grab
you, take you to Lokan or a similar chattel planet, and force a marriage. You
will be his prisoner; your life and property will be his. And then he will own
the galaxy and all the people in it.” “The people are already owned by their misery.” “And Kretan’s power is the root of much of that misery,”
said Iandrel. “We’ve talked of this before, and you agreed.” “I had time before,” said Lyra. “There is no more time. Galactics
hate my people, suck from us our future. I have little reason to put Galactic hatred
before Singer love.” “You make it difficult for us to convince the Assembly that
Singers should live,” said Elenda wearily. “I am the judge of my people. Tell your Assembly this simple
truth: if Singers die we don’t die alone.” Iandrel rose and gathered Lyra’s rigid hands in his. “You’ve been under pressures we can’t imagine; it’s no surprise
you’re angry. But threats won’t make things easier for us—or for the Singers.” Hunger leaped in Tarhn as Lyra relaxed under Iandrel’s
gentle touch. He examined the odd feeling, odd because it owed little to
passion, much to a longing that his own touch could give solace rather than
pain. He stood quickly, snapping off the confusing thread of knowledge. “I’m leaving Centrex,” said Tarhn abruptly. “That will take
some of the pressure off her, let her think coherently.” “No,” said Jerlis. “You’re not ready yet.” Tarhn rubbed his hand through his hair wearily; Jerlis was
right, as usual. He was reduced to impulse and confusion. “Jerlis, I am very tired of causing pain, of being able to control
but not understand myself.” It was Lyra who answered him, fingers amber-warm on his
cheek, then gone in the instant that touching him twisted her trembling lips
with pain. “Let her go,” Tarhn said hoarsely to Jerlis. “Take her to
Be-a Mora, Iandrel; give her pleasure to equal her beauty.” “You give—” “Damn you, I can’t!” In the end, Iandrel took Lyra to Be-a Mora, the Garden of
the Galaxy, while the Carifil watched and waited and hoped. Tarhn shifted the psitran to a more comfortable position. “Ready to relay,” he said to Dachen. “Ready to receive. Go.” Tarhn rode Iandrel’s mind as he and Lyra mingled with the
gentle swirls and eddies of people rapt with the day’s pleasure. Iandrel
unobtrusively guided her through colorful drifts of laughter. Even after three
days of Be-a Mora’s golden sun gleaming with undiminished grace on the creamy
walls of the city, Lyra was still less than serene. There was little peace in
the amber eyes that measured the buildings that rose in a dreamy cubist wave,
cresting on flowered bluffs overhanging the jade waters of the river Linverale.
A sensuous veil of spice-flower rose from the boundaries. of the large park Iandrel
had just entered. Tarhn felt Iandrel’s mind leap to full alertness. *Trouble?* Iandrel hesitated, then thought, *Not sure. Can you mesh
with Lyra—without hurting her?* Tarhn hoped his tumult of emotion didn’t leak to Iandrel. *If I must.* “Lyra,” Iandrel said clearly. “I want you to allow Tarhn
into your awareness. Don’t go into his mind; just permit him into the outer
levels of yours.” Perhaps she sensed, the urgency building in Iandrel as Tarhn
did, for-she didn’t object. Tarhn’s mind reached out tentatively, touched, held, merged
at the edge of Lyra’s awareness. The only difficulty was in not going further;
her mind called to him irresistibly. *Deeper.* Iandrel’s thought vibrated with urgency. Tarhn struggled with himself for a minute, then forced his rebelling
emotions deep into his own mind where they couldn’t touch and burn Lyra. A scented amber mist caressed him ... Lyra. Her mind like Sorsanna
sculpture ... translucent, smooth, flowing into iridescent rainbows of emotion,
luminous depths of intelligence, mysterious, compelling. He sifted more deeply into her mind with a gentle care that Iandrel
admired. *Perfect. Now withdraw.* Iandrel’s matter-of-fact command brought Tarhn crashing into
a present where the submerged part of himself trembled near revolt. He withdrew
quickly, yet with strange reluctance. Iandrel deftly excluded Lyra from the link. *Be ready to mesh like that again without warning. Her life
is yours, Carifil.* Tarhn was shocked at the change in Iandrel; in a breath his
gentle warmth had metamorphosed into a cold, polished, and deadly mind. *We’re being followed by at least four men. They’re under
some type of mind drug, probably stukor.* *Kretan’s trademark,* thought Tarhn bitterly. *Probably. I can’t break the drug’s compulsion.* *Which is ... ?* *Lift Lyra to one of the large estates on this planet. None
of them thought of the estate by name. This is their image of the place.* Tarhn looked upon miles of empty forests bisected by a nacreous
road leading to a huge compound. The main house, and the wall which surrounded
it, was a fantastic amalgamation of red turrets alternating with turquoise
arches and, triangular gold blocks. *Helix, but it’s ugly.* *Granted,* returned Iandrel, dryly, *but such monstrous
taste ought to be easily located. Get the Be-a Moran Carifil on it. My next
contact with them isn’t for an hour. I want Lyra to have friends on hand if the
guards succeed in getting her there. And tell the agents to be ready to kill.
The guards gave the impression of being armed. In any case, they are
compelled to kill anyone with Lyra,* *How much time do we have?* *None. They’re surrounding us.* *Dachen’s contacting agents now.* *Don’t fail Lyra; she is priceless beyond your dreams.* There was a disturbing ring of finality in Iandrel’s mind,
but when Tarhn would have questioned, Iandrel curtly limited the link to a
simple relay. “We’re being followed, Lyra. Two in front, two behind. When
I signal, link with me and run to the flyer pads, Don’t stop. Don’t look back.
Now!” Tarhn felt the surge of strength as Iandrel followed Lyra’s
swift flight. The closest :guard recovered first. A weapon appeared
in his hand, and his mind radiated a desire to kill. Iandrel’s muscles bunched,
launched his body in a flying arc toward the armed man. At the top of the arc,
his foot flashed out and upwards against the guard’s face. The guard died instantly as nasal bone and cartilage sheared
through his brain. Iandrel’s harsh command overrode Lyra’s dismay; she closed
her mind and ran. The three remaining guards hesitated, then chased the fleeing
pair. Iandrel wove in and through surprised groups of tourists,
using them as shields. Soon the take-off pads were within reach. On one of
them, a small two-seat flying machine was being readied for use. Tarhn sensed another
of Iandrel’s incisive commands and was not surprised when the mechanic
scrambled from the machine as from a white-hot sheet of metal. Lyra needed no
prodding from Iandrel to sprint around the confused bystanders and up the flyer’s
ladder. Iandrel was right behind her. The engine roared violently when Iandrel slammed the airflow
lever full down. The grass blurred and fell away as the machine leaped into the
air. “Primitive, but that’s supposed to be part of the pleasure,”
yelled Iandrel over the howl of air. When the plastic canopy closed over their
heads, he said in a more normal tone, “I’d rather have a moonskimmer or a
nograv racer. Or an Access,” he added grimly as another machine lifted in
pursuit. Lyra said nothing; he knew her thoughts were on the guard
who was not following them. “Now,” said Iandrel, “what can you do to get those men off
our backs?” Before Lyra could answer, a beam of energy sizzled through
the canopy. Tarhn felt the pain of Iandrel’s scorched cheek and hand, and the
immediate dizzying dive which ended below treetop level. The flight continued
in a swerving, swooping, nerve-stretching race between the trees. *Lasrifle,* he thought curtly at Tarhn’s questioning
thought. *Must have had it broken up and concealed in their clothing. Be ready
to link with her. I can’t dodge that beam forever.* Tarhn’s respect for Iandrel increased as he watched Iandrel’s
fluid control of the machine’s vertiginous rush between swiftly looming tree
trunks. He didn’t interrupt Iandrel, even when the forest twilight was abruptly
split by laser light. Without slowing, Iandrel activated a crash cocoon around
Lyra. He didn’t activate his own, for to do so would remove the machine from
his control. Tarhn/Iandrel felt the machine lurch as one of its airfoils
erupted in a dazzling sheet of flame. The canopy exploded against a tree limb
and the machine plowed to a sliding, shuddering halt on the forest floor. Tarhn felt himself hurled from Iandrel’s mind into Lyra’s
even as Iandrel commanded her to run. But Lyra had seen the bright flow of blood across his body. *Help me, Tarhn,* she thought urgently. “I can’t heal him alone.* Tarhn drove his mind deep into hers, power growing with each
linkage point, interlocking with sweeping ease and strength. Their mind swept through the pathways of Iandrel’s pain, healing.
Their hands plucked shards of plastic from his body, pressed, made him whole
with the skill of their mind. Sweat dripped from their body as they poured
strength into the healing, forcing suddenly leaden hands to touch and hold
bleeding flesh, strength pouring futilely, dammed, sinking, links shearing too
soon, knowledge coming too late. Tarhn felt rough hands drag Lyra away from Iandrel. Her mental
scream was a low verbal cry. *Hurt! Help him!* One of the guards twisted his weapon to lethal and killed Iandrel. “Lift her.” Tarhn sensed a strange tension begin in Lyra as she felt Iandrel’s
life knot endlessly. Tension tuned her body, tightened her throat, sucked Tarhn’s
mind back among the jagged linkages of failure. Her eyes opened searing gold. Fright trembled over her captors, but it came too late.
Tension exploded in a savage paean to nihilism ... and three men died. Tarhn felt her mind fragmenting away from linkage, dissolving,
slipping elusive into depths he had never suspected of her. Dachen’s insistent commands finally penetrated his concentration. “Iandrel’s dead,” said Tarhn curtly. “The other Carifil are
nowhere in sight. Lyra is ...” Tarhn hesitated, then his voice broke in
disbelief, “dying!” *Total link.* Dachen’s command drove into Tarhn’s mind. He opened, but the
link stopped completely just inside the third level. Deeper than any but Lyra
had ever gone, not nearly deep enough. Dachen could sense both Lyra and Tarhn,
but he could not help either one. His contempt seared Tarhn’s mind. *She’d better not die because your crawling self wouldn’t
link. You’re her complement. Will her to live.* *Can’t. Too strong.* Dachen’s answer was ice and cutting edges. *Her mind is in
pieces. A child could control her, if he wanted to.* Tarhn felt agony and fear tearing deep within him as he
reached again for Lyra, then Dachen stabilized the link until Tarhn was in
control. Tarhn reached out, fastened onto Lyra, and held. When Elenda entered the room, he heard her words with Dachen
as though at a vast distance. “We haven’t found the estate yet, or Iandrel. Four Carifil
are flying over the forest along the directional line Tarhn gave us.” “Iandrel is dead. Lyra killed three guards.” “And?” “Tarhn says she’s dying, though they didn’t hurt her.” “From what Lyra said, Singers who kill, die.” “Perhaps. Lyra seems to be willing death. Tarhn wouldn’t
mesh to the fourth so I can’t be sure what’s wrong.” “Now?” “Tarhn is supplying her will to live—until he cracks wide
open. Then it’s anybody’s guess what will happen to both of them. And us.
Savages and lightships.” Tarhn’s teeth ground against each other and sweat shimmered
over his face. She was so far away, rainbow colors receding, dimming. No
strength to hold barriers among minds, to hide ... must ride the waves of
contradiction openly, Dachen and Elenda will know ... Lyra, a deep amber pool serene, beautiful beyond dreams,
resonating, a flame of passion flickering, promising, kindling, fulfilling.
Lyra, an alien god-devil singing down lightning and the icy reaches of panic.
Lyra, an exhausted, appealing mortal unable to heal herself. Lyra, screaming in
agony at his simple touch. Lyra, mind clean and translucent. Lyra, golden, devouring,
Tau blue helpless, Lyra Lyra, LYRA “Breaking.” Dachen’s word, his own, a dream? “Why won’t he let us link and help?” Echoes taunting, fading, shrieking. “... same reason he’s breaking ... HATRED and fear LOCKED ...
deepest level. Would you ... OPEN ... stinking ... SAVE the ... wanted DEAD?” Into Lyra’s desolate, dissolving mind Tarhn poured yet more
strength, his own memories of life. The diamond sunrises of Tau scintillating
over hoarfrost when fledgling slakes first rose to taste the sweet chill of
flight. N’Lete and Bithe clacking playfully, inviting Tarhn’s affectionate,
itch-soothing hands. The mountains of Wilderness surging against the incandescent
sun, yet yielding to her power. Her supple walk through brittle-brush and rock
and the infinite beauty of her voice. Life. The link became less difficult; he sensed her awareness waiting,
balancing the solace of unsentient, irrevocable dispersal against the
possibilities of sentient, sensual life ... and the scale dropping toward
annihilation, heavy with a novel sense of degradation unworthy of
life/completion/rebirth. Certainty crystallized in Tarhn that only love or hope of completion
would hold Lyra to life. The Singers may have loved her, but it was not to them
her need reached out. He was her complement, yet her hopes had evaporated in
the searing blast of his hatred. Deliberately, he began to divide his awareness. Memory by
memory, incident by incident, he peeled the layers of his mind, sorted out his
hatred of Singers, impounded his corrosive emotions behind boundaries of will,
then shrank the boundaries inward until all hatred was a caustic knot beyond
his awareness, beyond hindering, beyond help, final. Only then could he send convincing half-truths to Lyra. Lyra, honey-smooth breasts shimmering beneath Wilderness’
sun. Laughter haunted by music as she leaned toward him, sunrise incarnate with
amber drift of hair and glowing eyes. Lyra, linking with his mind, point on
point, soaring. Lyra, body pulsing with the rhythms of passion, his own body
hard with answering need. Need for her life. Need for her. Lyra, trembling with
life, mind changed by memories yet willing to live. Willing to live. LIVE. And a chant rising in the darkness between their minds, warming,
soothing, peace and golden joy unguessed, expanding and joining, soaring on
wings of song, vivid fall of melody lighting the darkness, weaving complex futures’
intricate mysteries. An exhausted assent crossed the stars. Tarhn slumped bonelessly on the allform, hand dragging the
floor. He heard/felt all that went on around him, but was incapable of
responding as Dachen spoke to him. When Tarhn did not answer, Dachen turned to Elenda. “My mind was with the Carifil. What happened?” Elenda’s eyes were dark violet and her hands trembled as she
drew an uneven breath. “I’m not sure. Tarhn’s mind was closed for a
while, then it was open. No shields, no holding back. Nothing. He ... he sent
love to Lyra. But it wasn’t a dimensional love. It was like a reflection in a
mirror. And his mind had no dimension either. So utterly controlled, so ... inhuman.” “Did he appear stable?” Tarhn felt Elenda’s eyes on him as she answered with a
strange half-laugh. “Stable? Gods yes! Rigid. Frozen. I would have said it was impossible
to lie with mindtouch, but he did. And ... the song. The song made it true,
made her believe.” “Song? Tarhn?” “I don’t know who sang.” “Was it all a lie?” “It couldn’t have been the whole truth,” she said flatly. “Hatred
like he had just doesn’t evaporate. It’s got to be somewhere in his mind,
destroying—” Her hands smacked together in frustration. Tarhn felt Elenda bend over him and remove the psitran. Her
fingers smoothed the damp curls back from his forehead. “He did what we asked,” she said, “I only hope we saved the
right one.” “Maybe we can help him ...” began Dachen, then said nothing
at the hopeless shake of Elenda’s head. “He fought against himself. There’s no way to win a battle
like that, and a thousand ugly ways to lose. He is beyond our integration,
Dachen.” “Tarhn?” Jasilyn’s breathless call matched the worry she radiated. “We can’t reach him,” said Elenda. If he is aware of us, he’s
the only one who knows.” Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s hands move over his body skillfully,
swiftly attaching leads from the biomonitor unit. And he felt the fury building
in her, violent. As the last connection was made, he heard the hissing,
clacking cries of Tau slakes ready for battle. Two vivid streaks of blue crossed
the room, condensed into two angry slakes coiled next to him. Jasilyn moved warily away from the slakes; it didn’t take
much sensitivity to figure out that the animals were fully aroused and
prepared, eager, to fight for their friend. “I don’t blame you,” said Jasilyn. “I’d like to kill a few
people myself.” Jasilyn’s hair pulsed like wind-driven flames as she paced the
confines of the room, talking in a voice which reflected the rising anguish of
her mind. “Iandrel dead. Tarhn ... Tarhn .... Lyra. Did you know,” she
said to no one, “did you know that that little flower had fangs? The dead and
the half-dead. FOR NOTHING! We can’t even find the little curdling Singer! By
the Tortured God, I’d like to give Kretan’s balls the Fifth Twist. And the
Singers. The space-pure Singers, too good to help themselves. Can you hear me,
Singers?” she screamed. “CAN YOU HEAR ME? Lyra’s lost! Gone! Out of the game,
whatever curdling game it was you were playing. Iandrel ... Tarhn ....” Though her words were no longer coherent, Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s
anguish tearing at his mind and longed to comfort her as she had so often comforted
him. Yes, comfort her. Lyra? LYRA! No answer, just the humming of a voice or voices, beautiful
as only Lyra ... or Singers. We are here. Like mindtouch ... yet ... strange, interior .... How? You are changed; we can touch you now ... Humming deepened, separated, a chant describing half-life dying.
And he knew they mourned for him .... Help me? A contralto wail of regret ridden by faces once living, long
dead, Singers’ agony. Unfocused. But .... Notes rose, flowered under warm showers of harmony, redolent
of bliss and rest and peace renewing. Valleys of soft-petaled life lifting to
the pouring drops of song, strength multiplied joy, perfection in rainbow
harmony bridging, linking. Strength. Soothe the jagged life. Song drained out of his mind, fading echoes, memories ...
gone. “Tarhn!” said Jasilyn’s voice, ragged with pain. *TARHN!* Tarhn moved his hand to touch the white hands twisting so
close to his. As his fingers closed over Jasilyn’s, he saw the lines of rage
and grief dissolve from her face, leaving a serene beauty he had never seen
before. Her wordless wonder filled his mind, returning more peace than he had
given. With a deep sigh he slipped into normal sleep. VI“Tarhn?” Jasilyn’s call was lighter than a breath, completely undemanding. “I’m awake.” “I won’t believe it until I see those blue stones you have
for eyes.” Though her tone was teasing, there was an undercurrent of
worry. He opened his eyes. “Believe me now?” “Yes,” said Jasilyn with a catch in her voice. “What I can’t
believe is that you slept almost two days, you great lazy nuft.” “Lyra—” “Kretan’s backup was faster than ours; all we know is that
she isn’t on Be-a Mora.” “Is she alive?” “We think so.” “What else, Jas?” “The first Singer brief was inconclusive.” “Good. That gives us some time. They can’t annihilate until—” “But Kretan’s people are demanding a re-hearing.” “When?” “Now.” “Then he must have Lyra.” “Yes,” reluctantly, “but we’ve blanketed the chattel
planets. No marriage between aliens has taken place on any of them. So Lyra
must be alive; he won’t kill her until he has the Access rights legally locked
up.” Tarhn laughed suddenly. “Share the joke,” said Jasilyn. “Kretan. All that power and he can’t ram through a marriage.” “Not one the Deliberators would ratify. They’re scalded
after Kretan’s two snatch-and-run operations. Kretan, may he die like the
Tortured God, isn’t stupid. Somewhere that canny old bastard is setting up an
unimpeachable marriage contract.” “And he must be close or he wouldn’t be pushing for a
re-hearing.” Jasilyn’s silence was all the answer he needed. “She’s drugged, of course,” he said thoughtfully, then shook
his head. “Won’t do, Jas. Lyra is either dead or ... dead.” Then why would he be pushing for a re-hearing?” “Once Lyra’s dead it makes no difference to Kretan whether
the Singers live or die. It would be smart for him to give up gracefully; he’s
made a lot of enemies keeping the Singers alive.” “But you don’t believe she is dead,” said Jasilyn. “If he can’t marry her, Kretan has no reason to keep her
alive and every rea—Gods! Why didn’t I—my brain is sand! Tau!” “Tau?” “Tau! Tau is the only planet in the galaxy where Acting
Helix Kretan a Haman n’Ahler can mate anyone without any consent other than
that of the Gene-Masters. He could breed with an eight-toed zarf if they
agreed. And for the honor of being chosen, the zarf gives up all material goods
to the Helix, to be held in trust for the unborn Helix.” “Nice planet you came from.” “Only the Helix has Gene-Rights. And there isn’t anyone in
the Tau genocracy who wouldn’t gladly pay the Helix for the honor of being
half-parent of a future First Helix.” “Still sounds like a curdling nasty piece of business. The,
Helix could grab up all the wealth under pretext of Gene-Rights.” Tarhn laughed. “That’s what the Gene-Masters are for. They
evaluate the chosen person’s genes. If a First Helix child is—likely, then the
Helix is permitted his Rights. If not, no Rights. That’s why it’s taking so
long. Kretan is waiting for the Masters to unravel her genes. Once they agree—” “What if they don’t agree? Or has Kretan paid them too well?” “You don’t pay Gene-Masters. But they’ll agree. They’ll leap
up from their scanners and proclaim her co-Helix of Tau. And they would be
right. Who are you relaying to?” “Jerlis. Can’t you tell ... ?” “No,” he said curtly. “Tell her to set an Access for Tau.” “Tarhn, are you all right?” Tarhn knew exactly what she meant; he should have been able
to sense Jasilyn’s relay, follow it, and reach Jerlis himself. But he couldn’t. “I’m fine,” he lied, and prayed his mind was as closed to
her as her mind was to his. It was like being suddenly immersed in dark water,
seeing only vague blurs and dark shapes where formerly he had seen crisp images
alive with color. And when he stood, he felt the weakness of his body. Not
debilitating, just ... languid, as though some nerve impulses were slow or
absent. He wondered for a moment what disease shape his hatred had taken that
allowed it to feed so quickly on mind and body, dissolving and devouring. If only— Tarhn brushed away regret. He had done the best he could; he
had kept Lyra alive. Now he must get her off Tau, quickly, while he still had
the strength and will. “Blue room Access is ready for five plus slakes.” “No, Jas. Thanks, but no. Tau has only one nonfreight
Access. If it’s used by anyone but a high Tau genotype, alarms ring from pit to
hall.” “We don’t have any Tau agents except you. Tau has never accepted
off-worlders.” “And never will, so long as Kretan is Helix.” Tarhn strode from the room, not as quickly as he would have
liked, but at least his legs obeyed. Jasilyn hurried after him, pleas changing
to curses when she realized he wasn’t listening. Tarhn took in the blue room with a glance; the slakes weren’t
there. He tried to reach them with mindtouch. Nothing. With a smothered curse, Tarhn rolled the balcony
window open. His hands curled around his lips, magnifying the ululation which
came from his throat. “What in the—” began Jasilyn, “Re-set for one plus slakes, Jerlis,” said Tarhn, ignoring
Jasilyn’s puzzled questions. He knew that Jasilyn must be burning Jerlis with
her demands that he not leave and hoped that Jerlis could take it. “You have twelve Tau hours, Tarhn,” said Jerlis. “After that
a river of Carifil is going to pour through Tau’s Access.” “The Assembly—” “—can suck zarfs. Twelve hours.” Jasilyn was nearly knocked over as n’Lete and Bithe swooped
through the open window. They hesitated, then scrambled onto the platform at a
signal from Tarhn’s hand. “The slakes ... Tarhn can’t use mindspeech! Stop him,
Jerlis!” But Tarhn had already leaped onto the Access platform,
falling on his knees in a blaze of blue transfer light. He had several
wrenching moments in which to savor the depths of his rash leap before the blue
lights dimmed and he found himself facing an enameled wall. In the center of
the wall was a vivid Tau blue Helix surrounded by the angular script he hadn’t
seen since he was a boy. The half-forgotten names of his Helix ancestors echoed
in his mind as his eyes scanned the gene lists. The last name was his own. The wall split soundlessly in the middle. Relieved that the
scanners had accepted him, Tarhn signaled the slakes to precede him into the
half-light of the Hall of Genocrats. The wall closed behind him immediately after
he had passed through. “Well, slakes,” he said softly. “We’re home. Let’s hope nobody
else is.” Although the Hall seemed to be deserted, Tarhn felt uneasy.
Being without psi in a weakening body was like walking naked through a slizzard
den—at best hazardous, at worst fatal. “Come, slakes. Let’s see whether the new genocrats are as
careless of their field cloaks as the old were.” The tic-click of unsheathed slake claws told Tarhn that the
slakes were as nervous as he. “Gently, n’Lete and Bithe. Softly.” The sound of claws stopped. Tarhn skirted the amphitheater
in an attempt to orient himself from old memories. The hookrooms bordered the
bowl, and in the hookrooms would be overlooked cloaks. And the hookrooms were
also opposite the exit arches. Which meant he had just walked past a hookroom. With an impatient gesture Tarhn sent the slakes to check the
blank depths of the unlit hookroom. When the slakes returned without alarm,
Tarhn stepped into the darkness and waited without moving until his eyes had adjusted
to minimum light vision. The unique smell of the hookroom, a rich compound of
scented fabric, nambel leather, and slake musk, brought an explosion of memories.
For an instant he was a young boy, arrogant, with two half-grown slakes riding
his narrow shoulders to a dusk slizzard hunt. “We hunted well that day,” he murmured. “And many others.
May we hunt as well tonight, Ahhh ....” With returning vision, Tarhn spotted the cloaks scattered
around the hookroom. The names of the highest genocrats had changed after the
plague, but not their habits. There were at least ten field cloaks hanging forgotten
from their hooks. Tarhn paused over each cloak, hoping to find one from either
the a Harnahn or n’Ahler house. N’Ahler would be better, but he was in no
position to be selective. Not one of the names was familiar. For the first time Tarhn fully realized the devastation
wrought by the plague. The cloak he held was richly made, as rich as any he had
ever seen. Yet of the three ancestral names embroidered in gold, not one had
the “a” of a Second Helix ancestor preceding it, much less the “n” of a First
Helix. And the lining of the cloak was palest blue, fitting only for a Tau who
had had no Helix ancestors for four generations. A wave of dizziness swayed through him and he clung to the
hooks to keep his balance. He must move more quickly. He must find a cloak to
hide behind before he dared the streets. And the cloak must be of at least
middle blue or his unmistakably Helix phenotype would be his death. Tarhn left the hookroom empty-handed. The slakes, excited by
the residual musk of their own kind, moved so swiftly to the next hookroom that
Tarhn found himself stumbling in his attempts to keep up. “Ssssnahh,” he whispered, hoping they remembered the old
stalking call. The slakes slowed until he caught up with them. Even so, his breath was a fire in his ribs when he entered
the second hookroom. He went immediately to the cloaks, pawing the folds of
each until the lining was revealed. One was of nearly middle blue. Not dark
enough for a Helix by half, but ... the name had an “a” preceding. Tarhn snatched the cloak down and tied it over his
shoulders. Too short, of course; barely reached past mid-calf. But the only
cloak on Tau that would really fit him belonged to Kretan. With fumbling fingers Tarhn laced the cloak from neck to navel.
If he were careful, his off-world clothes wouldn’t show when he walked. And the
hood shadowed his Helix eyes. Now, to get a flyer. “Up, slakes.” The slakes clawed up the cloak, using the ladder of nambel
hide loops that had been sewn on the cloak for just that purpose. When they
reached Tarhn’s shoulders, the slakes assumed a show position, unsheathed claws
grasping the wide braids of leather which crisscrossed the cloak, wings
half-spread. The slakes felt unreasonably heavy. Tarhn sagged, then set
his shoulders and headed for the streets of Helix. Few people moved along the dim streets. Either it was very
late or people no longer spent time and money prowling the nightdens of Tau.
And the Taus who were abroad walked as though they had been too long over their
cups and nyth pipes. It was late, then. Tarhn walked as quickly as he could
toward the gambling district. He lurched occasionally as though he were the
last one to leave a nyth party. The lurching was easy; what was hard was to
keep his feet under the slakes’ weight. He comforted himself with the thought
that he made a convincing picture of a genocrat nythsot. The thought lost comfort with every street passed. If he
didn’t find a flyer compound soon, he’d have to make the slakes walk. Then he
would be as conspicuous as a slizzard in a slake nest. A Tau who couldn’t bear
the weight of his own battle slakes .... but if he launched them, he had no way
of calling them back. Tarhn leaned against a building to gather enough strength to
cross the next street without falling. The sound of slurred, angry words
followed by an elaborate apology floated through his gathering fog of lethargy.
Tarhn signaled the slakes down to the ground. His finger pressed gently against
their noses, commanding them to stay until he returned. Tarhn crept to the edge of the building and peered around
the comer into a compound crammed with flyers. At least that hadn’t changed
after the plague—Sathen’s slake lair still lured rich Taus into its gambling
rooms. A tall, lone figure in an expensive field cloak staggered among the
flyers, hands outstretched, searching for the one elusive door that would open
in recognition of his palm. Obviously the man was gone on nyth and needed help to find
his flyer. Tarhn’s help, to be precise. Tarhn pressed flat against the building as two people walked
away from the parked flyers. He need not have worried—they were barely more
sober than the lost genocrat. “... arrogant slizzard. My third near-father of my mother’s
family was fourth removed from a Second Helix. I should have—” “Clack-clack,” cut in a scornful voice. “You’d’ve eaten slakeshit
if he’d asked you to. Next time let the old malper find his own flyer.” “Next, time I’ll—” The roar of a rising flyer masked the rest of the words.
Tarhn was afraid that his quarry had escaped until he spotted an erratic shadow
haunting the edge of the flyer compound. Tarhn waited until the street was
deserted before he walked his slakes across. When they could get no closer to
the man without discovery, Tarhn lifted the slakes to his shoulders. “High winds, a Narmeht,” said Tarhn to the genocrat, picking
that name from the man’s cloak. “Uffgn ...” Tarhn’s nerves tightened another notch; the old zarf was too
full of nyth to— “Highprey,” mumbled the genocrat. “If your flyer wears the family code, perhaps I could spare
you the trouble of finding it in this slizzard den.” The genocrat’s slurred assent was all Tarhn needed. With a
pace that rebuilt the fire under his ribs, Tarhn moved through the rows of
parked flyers. One good thing about the plague—so few living genocrats could
claim the “a” that the search was made easy. Ahh, that one. Dented from many
bad landings, but ... it must do. Tarhn brushed the slakes off his shoulders and signaled them
to wait. When he returned to where he’d left the genocrat, no one was around. “Uhhmgh ... gghn.” Tarhn looked beneath a nearby flyer and saw the genocrat
sprawled on the ground. With neither care nor courtesy, Tarhn yanked the
nythsot upright and staggered toward the flyer. The slakes hastily moved away
when Tarhn’s burden landed with a thump against the flyer. Tarhn held the
nythsot upright against the door by the simple expedient of a knee in the
genocrat’s spine. “... malper is too kind,” Tarhn muttered as he forced the
man’s flaccid hand against the code plate. The entry panel parted suddenly, spilling the genocrat face
first into the cargo area. Tarhn crawled in, not at all careful where he put
his feet. The genocrat didn’t stir though, even when Tarhn dragged him fully
inside and dropped him again. “Up ... slakes.” The slakes settled delicately on top of the unconscious
genocrat. Tarhn staggered to the pilot’s seat and slumped against the
controls. With deep, shuddering breaths he tried to exorcise the pain claws
digging into his brain. Tired .. , tired. Great Helix ... shouldn’t be ... have
to. What ... ? Sleep ... yes sleep No. Compelling notes. Had to do ... remember. Why ... Lyra. A name, lovely. Did he ... know anyone ... Fear splintered like lightning through the dense clouds of exhaustion
and disease, thawed frozen nerves and memories. His hands trembled on the flyer’s
controls. The craft jerked into the air, barely missing the ornate overhang of
a nearby building. Ground lights blurred, focused, twisting dark water halving
city. A river ... ? Yes. Up ... down? Why not? Up we go slakes ... a slizzard
wind is rising on the back of the white moon. High prey tonight ... high prey. ... and the lightsbelow ... nicelights. Every ... shade of
blue ... genocrat holdings. None so clearas those ahead ... Taublue, Helixblue,
house dark. Do something .... Clereth hated house dark. Daughter of Helix ...
hated night. Flawed gene no nightsight. Afraid. Dead? Yes ... genemother Clerethdied
with all the restof ... Singers ... music gentle rising peace andstrength. Land
now ... see pretty Singer. hear sad song. After the smashing noises ended Tarhn heard the hiss of an
automatic med pack. Fire blazed through his arm, radiated in searing waves,
pumped throughout his body as the stimulant took hold. He shook his head to
banish the last of the pain claws. The landing had put a few more dents in the
rumpled flyer. It would have been worse if the old nythsot hadn’t bought the
best in automatic safety equipment. Tarhn released the crash net after only two tries. The
slakes clacked, restless beneath the cargo net which had snugged them to their
unconscious perch. *Patience, slakes. We should apologize to friend a Narmeht.
Any nythsot with wits enough to plan for his crashes deserves our kindness, if
not our love. By the Helix that stimulant was potent!* Tarhn released the slakes, signaling them to use the bite-without-death
when they explored the nearby Helix compound. At least he hoped he had given
them the correct signal; it had been a long time since his last battle games. Tarhn turned his attention to the medbox attached to the
pilot’s seat. There was no way of knowing how long the stimulant would last, and
he had no desire to return to a state of raving weakness. He hammered with the
edge of his hand until the warped latch on the box gave way. Inside were three
sizeable chemical darts waiting to be launched into unconscious flesh. “Helix, it’s a wonder I didn’t jump through the canopy.
Enough antidope in one of these stun darts to make a slerg leap from pit to
hall.” Yet all he felt was ... nearly normal. Not overtight, not
stretched. The lines on Tarhn’s face deepened into a grim mask as he realized
how far his body had weakened if such a huge dose of stimulant only made him
feel almost normal. Still sluggish, though. Well, there were three doses left.
Maybe another one would give him the strength for a mindcall to the slakes. Before his common sense could assert itself, Tarhn jammed
one of the darts into his arm. Blue lights fractured into rainbows, dots, raging red fire.
He hung onto the seat and waited for the chemical storm to pass. When it
finally did, his mind reached out for the slakes. Their joyous response made
him smile. *It won’t last, my friends, so pay attention. Find and
protect Lyra, she of the beautiful voice and touch. Lyra.* No sense of confusion came from the slakes, so they understood. *Send everyone else you meet into sleep ... or death, if you
must. Go separate and silent, my friends.* The flash of battle eagerness from the slakes gave Tarhn a
moment’s surprise, for he felt no such lift. He felt ... drained. Tarhn snapped the mindlink and found himself once again
clinging to the seat for support, body sweat-slippery and trembling with
fatigue. He gathered his will and stumbled toward the Tau blue lights which
glowed at the bottom of the hill. Unconsciously he found himself detouring to
pass close to the slake perches. When he had lived in the Helix house, the
slakes had’ been his only joy, his only respite from the endless demands of Clereth.
Poor Clereth, she had hated no one so much as herself. Tarhn leaned against a squat, silver-leafed tree. When his
breathing slowed, he listened to the night sounds of Tau. Other than the
erratic screech of a large insect, he heard nothing. Apparently Kretan had not
installed any new alarm systems. Not surprising. As far as the Carifil knew,
Kretan had been on Tau only eight times since the plague, and had only stayed a
few planet hours each time. In fact, Kretan had stayed away from his home for
so many years that the Carifil had stopped watching Tau. Of course, another reason why there were no alarms could be
that Kretan was not here and thus had no need of alarms. Tarhn pushed away from the tree. Kretan had to be here. If
he wasn’t, Lyra was dead. And if Lyra was dead, the Singers would have told
him. And Tarhn gave himself up to the forces of fatigue and gravity.
What his rolling descent of the steep hill lacked in silence it gained in
speed. The slake perches at the base of the hill smacked him soundly. He lay
wrapped around them for a moment, listening for alarms. Even the insect was still. No light flashed on in the Helix House. Either the servants
hadn’t heard him or Kretan hadn’t brought servants to the House. He hoped it
was the latter. But even if there were Servants, he could see in the dark and
they couldn’t. Tarhn pursued the genetic differences between low and high Taus
while part of his mind berated him for stalling. “Not stalling,” he muttered. “Resting. Sounds better.” With a dispirited curse, he pulled himself upright again. He
looked longingly at the two darts shimmering in the palm of his trembling hand;
with them he could know if the slakes had found Lyra, if she were ... if Kretan
.... Tarhn carefully tucked the darts into a belt pocket. As long
as he was on his feet, he didn’t really need the darts. He pushed away from the
slake perches and moved toward the dark bulk of the House. When he was halfway
there, his brain finally received the message his nose had been frantically
sending—the slake perches had been used very recently. Traces of musk lingered
where his hands had gripped the claw bars. Slakes were only allowed out of
their compounds under the direct control of their master. Kretan must be here. Tarhn should have been relieved, but any relief was
swallowed up in a greater fear. N’Lete and Bithe were separated; one of them
was simply no match for a mated pair of slakes guarding their own territory.
Fear for his friends released a wave of chemicals into Tarhn’s wavering body.
His legs responded with a surge of speed which carried him into the shadow of
the House. He leaned against the ancient wall, remembering all the,
times he had slipped out of his room to play with his slakes. The rough
fieldstone wall had served as a ladder then. It would have to serve as one now. Tarhn kicked off his sandals and surveyed the wall. Balconies
jutted invitingly from all four levels, but he ignored them; they were traps
for the unwary. Only two windows were unshuttered. One of them was on the
highest level. The other was the ventilation duct into the second level storage
closets. He had used that duct many times in the past. Tarhn climbed for the duct. His bare feet searched for
purchase while his fingers clung to impossibly small holds. Before he was
halfway to the window his hands and feet were slippery with blood. He hadn’t
remembered the climb as being difficult or long, but he was smaller then ...
and stronger. When his feet finally reached the rainshelf, he felt light
with relief. Though the shelf was barely as wide as three toes, it gave him the
first secure purchase of the climb. The sound of his breathing was loud, too
loud, but there was little he could do about it. Tarhn raised his head to measure the distance to the duct.
He remembered the next part as the most difficult. Prying off the scent screen
while clinging to the wall .... with puzzled pleasure Tarhn realized that the
screen was in front of his face. Of course. He was easily twice the size now
that he had been then. But then would he still fit into the opening? Tarhn pried the scent screen out of its frame. The smell of dawnflowers
enfolded him, rousing memories of sheets and handcloths and blankets and rugs
freshly taken from the closet for special, scented occasions, Tarhn measured the screen against his shoulders. Too small.
He shrugged out of the now ragged cloak and measured again. Still too small.
The sour taste of defeat and exhaustion rose in his mouth. He hadn’t the
strength to reach the other open window and he was too big to get through this
one. He swayed suddenly, grinding bleeding toes against cold
stone. Pain roused him to the knowledge that either he attempted the duct now or
he joined the cloak and screen on the ground. His hands fumbled along the
inside edge of the empty duct. The thick metal pipe which held the winter
shutter sat firmly along the top of the frame inside. There was no point in
testing the pipe’s strength; it would either hold him or it wouldn’t. His shoulders ached as they took the weight of his body.
Bleeding feet slipped more than once, but the repeated shocks of pain served as
a goad. With a convulsive heave, he lifted his body into the opening. His hips
passed through easily, but not his shoulders. With a groan Tarhn sat on the
ledge, legs dangling inside the closet. His muscles clenched and relaxed erratically,
jerking him like a puppet. When the fire in his ribs diminished to embers, Tarhn
squirmed sideways, jammed his palms against the top of the duct opening, and
shoved with all the strength that remained. Had his body not been well-greased
with blood and sweat he would have stuck as surely as a cork in a bottle. As it
was, he lost most of the skin from his back and shoulders. The landing was
soft, thanks to a pile of rugs. He lay there and congratulated himself on the
pretty patterns his blood made on the white rugs. Rugs and blood spun, grew, diminished,
leaped in a bizarre dance that ended only when he pushed another dart into his
wrist. N’Lete’s battle challenge lifted him into a staggering run
even before all the stimulant was in his bloodstream. When two strange slakes
answered N’Lete, Tarhn’s body responded with savagery. He kicked through the
closet door, barely noticing the agony it cost. The screams were coming from below him. Tarhn reached the
stairwell in four swift strides. Even as he descended, his hand wrenched a
curved ceremonial knife from its place of honor above the second level landing.
Though the knife hilt was heavy with Helix stones, the blade was a businesslike
fishhook with no dull edges. Tarhn reached the first level, hesitated, then plunged on to
the ground level. The crash of a crystal vase told him he had guessed right.
Tarhn burst into the lower room, stopped suddenly. Lyra lay in an alcove across the room. Neither the slakes’
screams nor his abrupt entrance roused her. Subdued lights pulsed as the biomed
machine monitored the delicate balance between drugged unconsciousness and
death. N’Lete was in a guard position next to Lyra, but the other
slakes were approaching from either side. At Tarhn’s entrance, one of the
slakes pulled away as though to guard the wall, to Tarhn’s right. Tarhn whistled shrilly through his teeth. From a distance he
heard Bithe’s response. He signaled n’Lete to watch the slake which had
retreated. Why had it retreated? Why didn’t the slakes attack? The withdrawing slake rattled its wings restively and stared
toward the near wall. Tarhn looked closely, then exclaimed in disbelief. A tiny
Access. Recently used, too, for blue light still gleamed. The slakes had just arrived,
only to find n’Lete. Would Kretan be next? The Access looked too small for a
man, but it would explain how Kretan came and went with impunity. Too small to
register on Concord scanners, or else used too infrequently to be traced. And
Kretan certainly hadn’t advertised his presence by adding alarms or guards ...
or even servants. The certainly grew on Tarhn that the House was indeed as deserted
as it seemed. Kretan trusted no one. Tarhn stepped cautiously toward Lyra. One of the Kretan’s
slakes moved to intercept him, jaws open in warning. N’Lete screamed again.
Tarhn motioned her to his shoulder, ignoring the stabbing unsheathed claws.
Kretan’s slakes were at a disadvantage; the floor was ice-slippery. Without aid
a slake couldn’t get airborne. Not that they couldn’t kill him easily enough
from the floor. With a sudden motion, Tarhn launched n’Lete toward one of
the ceiling perches. She hung there, wings cocked and ready for a dive onto the
back of a grounded opponent. The Access lights glowed suddenly blue. No time to wait for
Bithe, only time for lunges and desperation. Tarhn screamed the attack command and simultaneously threw a
heavy glass sculpture at the closest slake. Shards of glass exploded through
wing membrane, but the slake needed only teeth and claws for Tarhn. He leaped
to one side to avoid the slake, only to find that it refused to be drawn away
from Lyra. From the far corner of the room came the grating sounds of two
slakes locked in death combat. The Access whined an arrival signal. As the doors opened
Tarhn sent a heavy chair skating across the floor. Slake claws scrambled
frantically for purchase, then the slake screamed in anger and pain as the
chair knocked it reeling and skidding across the room. The slake stopped only
when it crashed through the open Access doors and against the feet of its
master. Even as Kretan stumbled over the injured animal, his hand reached beneath
his cloak for a weapon. Tarhn’s knife flashed through the tubes bleeding drugs into
Lyra. His fingers closed around the last dart. He wasn’t sure what the massive
stimulant would do to Lyra. He was only sure that he had perhaps two seconds
before Kretan killed him. The dart penetrated Lyra’s skin easily, as easily as the
beam which seared through his outstretched hand. Tarhn threw himself to the
floor, wondering why he was still alive as he rolled to shelter behind an allform.
Bithe’s scream of agony answered him. The slake had arrived in time to
intercept most of the beam meant for Tarhn. Tarhn erupted from behind the allform in a staggering rush.
He saw n’Lete dragging herself from her kill only to be met by the dead slake’s
mate. Bithe writhed on the polished floor while Kretan sought the head shot
which would ensure the slake’s death. Tarhn’s scream was not a formal battle
call. It was an inarticulate explosion of anguish and hatred. He knew he couldn’t
reach Kretan before Kretan killed Bithe, knew that he himself would quickly
follow the slake into death. Tarhn’s bloody feet slipped, dropping him to the floor. Fire
scored across Tarhn’s scalp, burned through his shoulder. The curved knife hadn’t been designed for throwing; it
turned over almost lazily in the air. Kretan lunged away from the flashing
blade, but not quite quickly enough; he saved his life at the cost of losing
two fingers. Kretan’s weapon dropped from his mangled hand. The silver
tube bounced, then rolled toward Tarhn as though it had been summoned. His
fingers curled around the weapon with agonizing slowness. Light and warmth
drained out of the room, pushing Tarhn’s numbed body toward the abyss. As the
dark rushed up to meet him, Tarhn’s hand aimed bright death at Kretan. VIILyra awoke to horror. It seemed the floor was glazed with blood, human and slake
sprawled in silent violence, and over all the stench of burned flesh. When she
recognized Tarhn, she knew real fear for the first time in her life. Her mind
reached for his, found ... nothing. Heedless of the blood, she knelt beside
him, her hand resting quietly on Tarhn’s forehead. Skin cool, sticky with
drying blood. No sense of Tarhn, no flash of agony or fear or hatred. Nothing
except a pale dissolving rhythm. *Singers.* Lyra’s thought was both query and demand. You are changed, Lyra Mara. *I have killed,* returned Lyra unflinchingly. A sound like cave winds reached her, damp and hollow. Notes
of despair and wonder rose, What do you wish, starsinger? Lyra felt the distance which separated her from her people,
a chasm of emotion/experience which few Singers could cross and fewer still
survive that crossing. They called her starsinger. Only that. And what further
degradations waited, what deeper chasms to be bridged before she either died or
became a focus. A hum of compassion loosened the strange bonds of fear which
held her taut. *I wish this man to be whole again.* Through you we will heal him, if he desires. *He does.* Lyra’s impatient thought crackled across their
waiting. His mind refuses. *Then heal only his flesh!* Their acquiescence came as seeking discrete notes, erratic
as the faint heartbeat beneath her hand. The two rhythms hesitated, matched,
joined, and were sealed by subtle harmony. More voices merged, reinforcing the
bonds with melody, leading the rhythm into smoothness, stately, flushed with
the steady beating of a living heart. The flesh lives, only to be destroyed by the mind. *Why?* Echoes of regret were her only answer, followed by a chant
which wove into a half-remembered song, waiting. Lyra felt a moment of spinning
terror when she realized what was required of her. Terror faded into whispered
music which dissipated as she slid into the emptiness of Tarhn’s sleeping/hiding
mind. At first she moved hesitantly, nerves anticipating caustic hatred. Empty. Even shadow memories had fled. Contours and depths vastly
changed. Former linkage points remained, yes, but all the myriad missed
linkages had vanished as though they never existed. A strange mind; safe, yet
so diminished and shorn. Why had he severed, perhaps destroyed so much of himself?
Even at the middle level, where past resistance had exploded the mesh ... quiescence.
The former fiery interplay of mind and ego had left ... nothing. *Come now, Tarhn,* she thought with a taste of asperity. *Only
pure Singers are this free of corrosive emotions.* The thought of Singer reverberated in his hidden mind,
twitched. *Ahh. You’re listening.* No response. *Are you a Singer?* she prodded. *You don’t look like a
Singer. Where is your sunbright hair, your golden eyes that—* Tarhn’s mind leaped toward consciousness. She held him below
the threshold of waking .. *Not yet, my once lover. Let’s think about golden eyes.* A vague memory of Lyra’s eyes formed, but it lacked power. *Too pale, Tarhn. Singer eyes look like this.* Twin suns of
gold burned in Tarhn’s mind, lighting hidden wisps of memory ... Lyra singing
of passion, communing with Wilderness, with an assembly of Tau genocrats. NO Tarhn’s mind heaved into desperate consciousness. All memories
vanished and linkages became reluctant, slippery. Lyra poured energy into the
mesh, fighting to retain it. She won, but had only echoing emptiness for her victory. *Tarhn?* Tentatively Lyra explored the silence. She touched and held
new contact points automatically, ignoring the fact that each link felt
lifeless, tasted of old terror and new sickness. Emptiness thickened with each
link deeper, a baffling viscous passivity, a will NOT A murmur of song touched her as she rested. A mere breath,
yet the descant carried immense expectations, infinite praise, and patience.
The pressure behind was greater than the resistance ahead; she pushed further
into the clinging emptiness with a controlled rush that ended in the deepest
level of his mind. And there was fetid horror consuming, growing. Lyra clung to the mesh and willed herself not to flee. It
was only disease, no worse. Spreading, though, spreading with a sucking
voracious eagerness which shook her control. And the pressure from the Singers
was gone and she was alone. No, not alone. Somewhere was Tarhn, and knowledge. With hardening will, Lyra reinforced each point of the mesh.
Tarhn was her complement; whatever distortions and diseases were his could be
known by her. Must be known by her. Only then could she judge the creation of
the Singers. *It is time to be one or nothing, Tarhn. You may help me or
fight me, but you cannot hide.* Golden notes touched the stretching disease, swept through
it with leaping purpose. Energy and will and seeking melody like rivers crying
in deep canyons, sweeping rubble away until at last the core is reached: a single
tiny sphere, heavy as a collapsed star, radiating black energy ... Tarhn. *Get out!* His savage thought cracked across her mind and made each
linkage an arc of pain. She fought her reflex to flee from his lethal hatred,
for in hatred was the knowledge she must have. Tarhn sensed the sudden slackening of the mesh, knew her
weakness and what caused it. He permitted more of his emotions to leak from the
dark star, but with hatred came a lash of memories the Hall of Genocrats lambent with Singers ... gold music
touching innocence with evil ... No Memory and hatred stopped as Tarhn switched his energy from
fighting Lyra to fighting the memories which threatened to explode from the
dark star. Lyra tightened the mesh, but could get no closer to knowledge. No
more memories eluded the pouring energy and control that compressed the
seething darkness. *Out,* thought Tarhn calmly. *You’ll have to drive me out. And you can’t, because half
your mind and most of your power is—* Tarhn struggled briefly, testing her strength and his own. *Harder, Tarhn. Surely a half-gened bastard couldn’t have a
stronger mind than the First Helix of Tau!* Tarhn waited sullenly beneath her goading thoughts; he could
control himself or evict her, but not both. *Then stay, Singer. It makes little
difference.* *Strange. You say you loathe Singers above all else, yet you
humbly submit to my presence deep within your mind. Impossible, Tarhn. What is
it that you really hate, really fear?* Tarhn twisted against the pull of her logic, but was unable
to break away. He fell back into passive waiting. *If you hated Singers you would be fighting me with every
erg of power you command, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you!* Before he realized what had happened, Lyra bridged the last
emptiness with a net of linkages surrounding the pulsing darkness. He shivered
in her grasp and the darkness licked outward. *What do you want?* he thought desperately. *Knowledge of that dark star, your hatred.* *It will kill you.* *Why do you shrink from that? Destruction is the goal of hatred.* Tarhn’s mind twisted feverishly, seeking any weakness in the
enveloping mesh of mindtouch. He found none and fell back into passivity. Lyra’s
regret sifted through his waiting. *I’d rather reach you as a complement than as a Singer.* Echoing silence. *So be it.* A song threaded through his mind, glowed from linkage
points, scattered in a child’s sigh of wonder as Lyra herself had sighed long
ago when Daveen celebrated her own nascent awareness with the Song of Unfolding,
the song she in turn now gave to Tarhn. Rills of joyous descant leaped from each contact, flowed
into single melody spiraling around the sullen darkness, followed wisps of
shared memory with glissandos of praise. Perception heightened and strengthened
in harmony with the sweet clear song. Memories, dreams, wishes won free from
the darkness and harmonized with the irresistible melody. Subtle dissonance flexed against the harmony, testing and restraining
until all that escaped darkness stood unflinching inside the golden spiral of
sound. And surrounding all, rhythm pulsed relentlessly, defining the spiral and
demanding that Tarhn know and accept his unfolding self. The darkness erupted. Fear screamed in ascending notes that clawed upwards through
the spiral; banished memories resonated in savage response. Beyond will,:
beyond despair, song and darkness shattered into brilliant remembered mist. The
mist that subsumed darkness delicately, irrevocably dissolving the last barriers
to total memory. Grotesque lies ravaged Lyra’s mind. Singer eyes golden with
delight tormenting helpless children. Singer laughter a demon’s cry bursting
with unspeakable desire, loathsome power twisting ... golden eyes insatiable ...
perverting ...engulfing galactic minds that all might be as vile as Singers. Lyra’s scream joined Tarhn’s, agony and hatred in awful
duet. Her mind reeled and would have fled, but hatred held the linkage now and
hatred would be fed and fattened. Nor did she cry out to be spared, though fear
flowered within her and each razor petal cut away her will. To struggle was
death—not the simple ingathering which separated new lives, but the final
dispersal of mind into the echoing void. She endured. She endured through all the myriad layers of darkness
reeking of disease, through rationalizations and displacements (dying svarls
laced with blood unsavory triumphs futile) until there was but one memory left,
one blinding instant of discovery long ago on Tau, NO! when Tarhn listened to his first Singer NO sing the Song of Unfolding, his shoulders numb to slake
claws drawing blood unknowing, the agony that made his body rigid owed nothing
to his transfixed slakes, everything to the song unfolding No and remorse pouring through him from an unending catalog of
cruelties petty and gross, crimes against trust, outrages against human needs,
pleasure in human degradation, loveless life ... all his. nonono But the song was not swayed by a boy’s sobs or his writhing,
evading noooooo self-impaled on golden notes no escape from knowing unfolding
you must know (no) Death shuddered through Tarhn as he once again tasted and
plumbed his potential to rend the sensitive, sentient fabric of minds, to
ravage others rather than examine himself, to feed upon their uncertainty. To
denigrate, debilitate, degrade, destroy. Song drowned in the anguished howl of evil revealed. Not the Singers. Himself. And in her own moment of sickening revelation, Lyra knew how
true Singers killed. (and we are nothing) The song would be finished, pressuring her with unsung
(futile) notes, half-truth so convincing, so deadly. Her own Unfolding ...
neither difficult not unpleasant, for among Singers the idea and reality of
destruction was merely a tenuous veil across the shining sun of Singer creation
... a half-truth as alluring and as deadly as Tarhn’s. Song pushed, required. Lyra abandoned the linkages and bored through the poisonous
corrosion of self-loathing surrounding Tarhn until she could touch the dying
core of his mind. Then song resumed, coaxing, a simple melody carrying a simple
truth. Potential is not reality. His ability to destroy is equaled by his
ability to create, to give love rather than hatred, to cherish life rather than
dispersion .... harmony explaining that song was instruction, not indictment. The music touched a responsive part of Tarhn, that part of
man which ponders neither evil nor good but has continued life as its only
imperative. His mind quieted, then expanded with the song to examine and hold
each past thought, experience, emotion, and desire. To accept with neither disgust
nor evasion the realities of self through cascading hours of song which grew
from one to many voices until at last he slept peacefully within an integrated
mind and body. A tiny figure which had waited patiently during Lyra’s song
and silence finally stepped forward. “Lyra,” said Jerlis, as gently as if to coax a shy child
into the light. But when Lyra’s face lifted her eyes were terrible golden
ice and her low voice twinned eerily. “Now we are one ... and nothing. Two half-truths joined by
Singer lie.” “You healed his mind. If that is a lie—” “Healed?” Lyra’s laughter made Jerlis’ skin ripple with unease. “I did not finish the song; I no longer believe it. They
lied him back to life ... as they lied me back.” Again Lyra’s laughter crawled over Jerlis. “But now,” said Lyra softly, “there is no one left to lie
for them.” Lyra lifted her hand from Tarhn’s head, then bent to kiss
him. “... beautiful flawed creation. Not your error, my once
love. Nor shall you be my complement in terror.” “Let me help you, Lyra. Let me touch your mind,” said
Jerlis. “Dispersal will help me.” “And the Singers? Who will help them?” “I will. Their creation was flawed, but as they lived in the
radiance of a billion suns, so shall they disperse.” “I don’t understand,” said Jerlis, hesitantly. “I am the first focus this galaxy has known. I shall be its
last.” Rising music smothered Jerlis’ cry, but it was music such as
Jerlis never wished to hear ... long wails twisting and descending in eerie
lament, aching descant of sorrow and regret. And Lyra silent within song that
condensed into flaring energy, concealing her within inhuman keening, sound
beyond understanding wrenching— Jerlis stood alone and anguished. After a long time she went
to rouse Tarhn. Before she touched him, his eyes opened. “We must go, Tarhn. Nothing remains here.” Tarhn sat up and silently measured the extent of the
carnage. Without speaking, he got up and examined the Access controls hidden in
a wall cupboard. His hands flashed across the unfamiliar dials. With
unconscious consummate grace he turned away and swept n’Lete and Bithe into his
arms. He coiled them together and gently laid them in the Access. *When the slizzard wind rises you will be there, on the back
of the white moon.* The Access lights burned incandescent blue. When the doors
opened again, the Access was empty. Jerlis’ sorrow for him was a clear fall of
moonlight, gentle and undemanding. For a brief moment he allowed grief and
comfort, then put both aside. “She’s with the Singers,” he said quietly. “Did she say anything
before she ... left?” He sensed an odd reluctance to speak in Jerlis. *What is it, little mother?* Her surprise gave way to wonder at the piercing clarity of
his mindtouch. Changed, yet familiar, different, yet still Tarhn her son and
friend. “Yes, I’m still me,” he said with gentle amusement. “Who did
you expect to find?” “You move differently now, Tarhn. You have a Singer’s ease
and grace. And your mind—if I had time, I would explore its new textures and
power. Do you know how powerful you are, Tarhn?” “If I’m as powerful as I was blind ...” His words dissolved
into rueful laughter. “Don’t condemn yourself,” “I know. My past is best used to instruct rather than punish
my present. The Singers were most thorough.” “And Lyra ... ?” “Lyra was the leading edge of song. Did yon hear her?” “Just one note rising. Then other voices and she no longer
sang.” “Remember when you tried to integrate my mind?” “That is not easily forgotten! But you don’t have to tell me
what happened, Tarhn. I have no claim or right to your mysteries.” “It was a sad, trivial secret. When the Singer came to Tau,
he sang to our minds. It was an attempt to integrate us. And the first part of
the song made each of us know, really know our potential to destroy. I was only
a child, yet my personal list of atrocities nearly overwhelmed me. It was as
though I was each living creature I had ever harmed. I would have died then,
except for a child’s stubborn trick. I denied the Unfolding. I denied that I
could be evil, that I could knowingly hurt other life. It was the Singer who
was evil. It was the Singer who devoured minds.” “What was the second part of the song?” “On Tau? No one lived to hear it .... or sing it. People
like my gene-mother Clereth either died rather than face themselves, or died
because they had faced themselves. And the Singer ... the Singer dispersed, the
final death, for he lived each wretched revelation, each rending Unfolding.” “But why? Surely the Singers knew what would happen?” “Perhaps. I don’t know. You see, the second part of the song
balances the first. It explains that if you have maimed you can also heal. If
you can hate you can also love. An old paradox, but the song made it fresh and
potent. And now, little mother, tell me what your mind would rather hide. What
did I do to Lyra?” “Don’t you know? Can’t you reach her?” “Not yet.” Tarhn felt Jerlis’ question forming, felt her dismiss it and
return without evasion to the vivid memories of Lyra as Tarhn slept. When she
had finished, Tarhn withdrew. After long silent minutes he heard Jerlis ask him
a question. “I don’t know what she meant, Jerlis. Like you, I’d prefer
to believe she was insane. But, she’s tough. Unbelievably tough.” “She’d have to be. She’s your complement,” said Jerlis, looking
pointedly at the charred corpse which Tarhn had so far ignored. “Anybody I
know?” “Kretan.” “By Xerle’s magnificent Ears,” breathed Jerlis. “That
settles one problem. You’re his only living gene heir. Access Unlimited belongs
to you now.” “No. It belongs to the Carifil. And,” he said over her protest,
“if you won’t have it, then give it to the Concord.” “What about Lyra?” “Will she live long enough to make a claim?” Tarhn asked
bluntly. Jerlis’ ears curled tightly against her skull, then snapped
upright again. “I don’t know. When I left, Elenda was ear deep in Council
politics. There’s a chance she’ll succeed.” “Jerlis,” said Tarhn sadly, “when did you start believing in
miracles?” “I sent a dying son to Tau. When I followed, I found a
living, powerful son and a very dead enemy. I’ve sent some accomplished
assassins after that bastard, Tarhn. For three decades .... So if I’m suddenly credulous,
it’s your doing.” “I wasn’t alone.” “I know,” whispered Jerlis. “I’ll miss your insolent slakes.”
Her eyes dulled, then she said abruptly, “Let’s clean up this mess and get out.
Jasilyn will have my ears for keeping her waiting and worrying.” “I’ll tell her we’re coming.” “Alone? No linked minds to aid you?” Jerlis muttered something about Singer cures being worth the
disease. When Tarhn reached the tough, fiery mind of his friend, he felt
Jasilyn’s surprise and affection and relief—and fear. *Of me?* *No, you arrogant slake—oh Tarhn, I didn’t know. I’m sorry.
They were such beautiful friends .... It’s the Council. Elenda lost. The
Singers. Lyra. Re-hearing soon.* *Scan for an Access within a six unit radius of Tau’s only
personnel—* *I’m sitting on the coordinates now. How do you think Jerlis
got there? We were scanning the known Access for your return and we got an
echo. We were still trying to center it when—* *Kretan came through.* *I’ll set your Access for three transmissions. First Jerlis,
then the sla—sucking zarfs! Two. You follow Jerlis.* Tarhn felt Jasilyn’s anger at her error, and her searing
hope that Kretan had foretasted his own death. Then mindtouch narrowed to a
relay of information without emotion. *Access ready now.* *Access ready,* he confirmed as blue light glowed once again
in the room. *You first, Jerlis.* “What about—that,” she said, indicating Kretan’s corpse. “The Helix genes of Tau are extinct. Let the Gene-Masters
make of it what they will.” “But you’re Helix.” “Extinct.” Jerlis hesitated, then stepped into the Access. Alone in the
quiet room, Tarhn heard the low wail of a slizzard wind and knew the white moon
was rising. “High prey tonight, my friends. Good hunting.” The sound of the waiting Access overrode the wind. Tarhn
stepped forward and left his birthplace in a cold blaze of Helix blue. VIIITarhn stretched his body wearily. In the two days since Tau
he had slept little, though it was not lack of sleep which oppressed him. He
rubbed his hand through his black hair and sighed. “Any luck?” Tarhn looked into the orange depths of Dachen’s eyes, “No,” said Tarhn. “She evades me.” “The Singers?” “They ... how can I explain? They are there, yet not there.
They are suspended in waiting.” “For what?” Tarhn stood and walked to the window. Above him a billion
stars murmured to the darkness. “They wait for Lyra’s command. Their waiting is a slow
chant, like an immense beating heart. Can’t you feel it?” “No.” “They’ll sing soon, when the last waiting has drained into
Lyra and the heart beats with her rhythm.” “Focus,” said Dachen quietly. “Yes. I fear the coming song far more than I fear the
Council’s verdict.” “What can the Singers do? Another plague?” Tarhn turned away from the window. “No. Their starsingers
died in the last one. Starsingers ....” “Do you know what that title means?” said Dachen. “The energy, the power of the starsingers is drawn from a
star the way we draw energy from smashed atoms.” “Can they nova a star?” “Can we?” “Yes.” “Then so can a starsinger. They can do everything that we—” “What is it?” But ignoring Dachen, Tarhn reached out for the Singers, demanding
as Lyra had once demanded their minds. We are here. *What do starsingers do with the energy a star releases to
them?* They create. It is their greatness ... and their
sorrow. *Sorrow? Why?* Ask our focus, our future and our creation’s future. *Creation?* Our children. Children ... memories of Lyra’s certainty that she and Tarhn
were the future of all children, that Singers considered Galactics to be
prodigal children. *What is Lyra? What is your focus?* Half gene-child, our judge. *Are we ... are Galactics your gene-children?* Not yet. *What are you to us?* Your creators. And their anguished song swept Tarhn into the void. He
reached out reflexively and his hands dug into Dachen’s flesh. The Singers
dissolved, dying, dispersing. “What is it, Tarhn?” said Dachen, hands on Tarhn’s shoulders
comforting. Tarhn laughed a little wildly. “I know the answer to the question
of the ages: why are the races of man so alike? Why, on planets separated by immense
distances, did we rise one after another, change and evolve, find each other,
kill and give birth and hate and love, and always search for our differences in
fear of knowing just how deep our sameness was?” Tarhn gathered his reeling
thoughts and tried to explain to Dachen. “It’s what you feared ... savages
against lightships. The Singers have no gods because they are gods. No, not
gods. They can die like men, or even more horribly, more finally. They can be
killed by hatred. They are our creators, and we are murdering them slowly,
terribly. Dispersing them, never to be reborn again.” “Then we are lost,” said Dachen simply. “They must kill us
to survive.” “The mass of Singers cannot directly kill. Starsingers might
be able to, indirectly, but then they disperse. Only a unique Singer ...” “Lyra.” “Yes. Lyra. Focus ... immense creation or awesome destruction,
she once said. I don’t like to think what she meant.” Dachen’s eyes burned umber. “What can we do for ourselves,
for them?” Tarhn hesitated, extrapolated, weighed, answered. “Without
Lyra, the Singers are helpless. They suffer and disperse under the weight of
Galactic hatred. Suicide is impossible for them, though they would die more
quickly if they could.” “With Lyra?” demanded Dachen. “‘... as they lived in the radiance of a billion suns, so
shall they disperse.’” Into Dachen’s mind came a withering vision of Galactic stars
exploding, blooming in a holocaust whose crescendo was song and destruction and
white light consuming the galaxy, Singers’ epitaph. “Is Lyra’s only purpose to destroy?” asked Dachen harshly. “Was
she born only for that?” “She was born to learn, to judge before either creation or destruction.
We—I have driven her, made her what she is now, what she will be.” A look of
pain and listening swept over Tarhn. “The Song. It begins. Can you hear it yet?
A slow threnody like sea waves rising, waiting, waiting for the moon to focus
their massed strength.” “The Assembly also waits,” said Dachen into Tarhn’s silence.
“Come. Let’s do our futile best to turn the tide.” The Assembly chamber was a huge egg-shaped darkness crossed
by a rectangular bar of light. Although the contrast between light and dark defeated
Tarhn’s eyes, he sensed that each seat in the dark gallery contained a fearful,
vengeful, or simply bored Assembly member. With a sudden, smooth motion Tarhn
stepped into the light and sat in the Singer witness chair. He wondered who the
accusing witness would be ... if anyone. Few people wished to be linked in
history with the extinction of a race. The Council filed into the raised, fan-shaped area reserved
for them. Elenda raised her hand for silence. When all were quiet, she would
open the meeting with a centuries old ritual prayer. But before the first word
was spoken, the other witness materialized out of the darkness. Lyra. Tarhn reached out to her mind, seething questions and
hunger. The levels of her mind flowed together fantastically, rainbow promises
yet unborn, wisps of music flickering, beating heart. *Why?* he asked/demanded/wondered while savoring her amber
presence and power growing in her matchless eyes. (the golden eyes of death) *No! Don’t evade me! Why do you speak against your own
people?* *Listen well, Tarhn, that you may know what I know, judge as
I judged.* Her mindtouch was as beautiful as crystal ... and as impersonal.
Even as she turned to speak to the Council he felt the song beginning, knew
that only he and Lyra could hear it. (Lyra why do you turn away?) “It is customary for witnesses to be nameless for this type
of hearing,” said Lyra, her eyes looking at no one yet holding everyone. “It is
also customary that I, the accusing witness, lay my charges and then listen
while the accused witness speaks. I acknowledge these customs. “And I ignore them. I am Lyra Mara, Singer. Mine will be the
only words spoken here.” The explosion of sound that Tarhn had expected didn’t come.
The Assembly and Council sat transfixed in the presence of a Singer. Only
Carifil eluded her fascination and battered Tarhn with their questions. *I don’t know!* he thought fiercely. *Listen to her and pray
to whatever gods remain.* (once was a time when gods walked with men but none remember
for the gods were slain). *Lyra!* But only savage laughter echoed in his mind and he ached
with her cold regret and the burning music of her voice. “We are an old race, older than you can know, older than we
can remember.” Aimless energy coalesced into rock and water, dust and
ice. Random. No life. Potential stretched thin across the darkness, bonded
elements one to the other in clouds of carbon oxygen hydrogen ... roll
call of life. Yet none answered. Planets seethed into quiescence and fragile hydrocarbons
met and meshed into semblance of life, dissolved tragic eons short of
sentience. “Singers came into this galaxy before there was life, before
there was hope of sentience. Singers were the first life, the only intelligence
in this galaxy. Alone.” Across the void between galaxies, a golden filament of
energy touched a barren planet with song. Chanson. Life beginning. “We cherished our new planet, and it regrouped its atoms
into life to feed its worshipers and gods. We grew many in number, great in
power. Alone in the immense barren galaxy. Omnipotent. Omniscient. “Bored.” Lonely. No life to praise other than our own, nor sentience. We
joined in mind and sang of our desire. Our song reviewed the planets of
potential. All was ready, waiting. Empty. Tarhn felt his mind reeling away from the stroke and counterstroke
of Lyra’s words, Singers’ chant. (oh Lyra do not judge them too harshly). And she heard his inner cry. *Now who evades? Listen to us,
Tarhn, know the depth and breadth of creation—and betrayal.* *Lyraaa!* His anguished calling dissolved into emptiness. She was
closed to him and her sweet voice sang relentlessly in his mind. “Singers differ from Galactics in ways both subtle and immense.
We have the power to create, to bond the sliding interface between matter and
energy into life.” We sang to the emptiness. The rising chant wrapped Tarhn in rhythmic beauty, harmony
heard only in dreams, felt only in wonder. Harmony swelling in praise of the
elements of life and of planets capable of nurture. Point and counterpoint
rippled in elegy, flowing miracle of sound and perfection. Then starsingers’
piercing notes leaped upward, surmounted the barrier of harmony and soared in
marvelous dissonance above the flawless melody. And on a thousand, thousand planets life caught and held. “Life seethed in the galaxy. Simple life, vast with sentient
potential. The Singers waited, waited with eons of patience for the evolving
life, praised and cherished each minute move toward self-awareness, individual
intelligence. “But life stabilized far below the threshold of sentience,
much less intelligence. The Singers’ desire for other minds grew, for there is
little to learn from and share with the random motions of mindless life.” Lyra paused, and echoes of chilling laughter haunted Tarhn. “Not an insurmountable problem, surely, for minds as
powerful as the Singers. A simple rearrangement would suffice ... weeding on a
cosmic scale. But even weeds have life. Though all Singers may create life,
none can destroy life with impunity. Even mindless weeds.” Descant keening permeated Tarhn’s mind, rippled through
flesh which still heard chanting. “Yet they desired ... and sang. A hundred thousand planets
stirred. Mountains drowned in seas, swamps cracked into deserts. Continents
split, bleeding new land. Over all moved strange seas and rivers and winds. The
chosen life survived and expanded on their new worlds.” “And starsingers died, even as the weeds.” Mournful chants beat slowly in Tarhn’s blood, thick with
regret and waiting. “for yet more eons. The Singers replenished their numbers,
grew stronger than before. And more alone. At last they called out to
sentience—and were answered by a cacophony of fear and hunger and rut. Was this
the summation of so much power and patience and agony? This wretched idiot
screech? “Their song flashed through colors into incandescence which
scoured golden eyes, scorched golden souls. In arrogance despair they forged an imperative: intelligent life would evolve in
the image of the Singers. On countless planets chaos bloomed, wrenching
dominant life into extinction, opening new horizons for the chosen species.
Restless species which would speak and build and wonder at the cascading stars.
Species whose children would evolve to know and praise the infinite marvels of
life perceived through variegated minds. Species whose minds would at last give
the Singers different knowledge ...” Lyra’s voice shaded from whisper into ironic laughter that
was made terrible by her tears. “... flawed creation devouring its creators. You hated
without sapping your strength; you slaughtered and lived to slaughter more.” We could not soothe the jagged life. Our songs were white drops flung into black flames. We
bled songs and dispersed and the black flames licked ever nearer like space
mindlessly consuming itself. Mindless .... No. Ignorant. Like children before Unfolding, power protected from knowledge. Though our children were never so cruel. Never so ignorant. Even to the least, thought and result are one; sorrow
caused is sorrow felt; love returned is infinite. if you knew you would have “discovered Chanson. The contact people were welcomed,
though their presence was rending. We mourned their blind, maimed minds,
endured their casual cruelty.” Children of our minds let us come among you. Let us know the tortured beauty within you. Let us sing. “And we sang to you as to the children of our bodies. The
song dissolved your mental barriers keeping thought from result. Each Unfolding
grotesque with past brutality, present knowledge, future—none.” We could not understand the monstrous revelations, nor
breast the acid torrent dissolving our minds. Starsingers drowned in destruction. Ignorant. Dispersed through the void. “The results of that song are known to you as the plague.
Those who listened with their minds died. Just death. Mere death. They would
live again, in time.” “But our starsingers will not.” Tarhn felt the beating heart quicken subtly, yet no one
spoke or moved. Then he knew all hearts kept time, beat as one bell tolling an
endless midnight while dawn receded into the void. We must know what our children know. Of black fire and freezing darkness. They live and die
and are reborn in black fames. How? The darkness disperses us. Not them. Why? Must we disperse ignorant into the void? Creation consumed finally. If we could but know our children. Ourselves. “I had thought the starsingers martyrs in the cause of
light. Yet, they were our strongest. They were the only Singers who knew that
creation is change and change is both gain and loss .... destruction. Did they
know also that Galactic minds would shrivel in the light of song? Did they know
and sing anyway, murderers? “You believe they did, and for that you would erase the
Singers from this galaxy. Look to your own children then; look to your own
genes changing. Even now Galactics walk among you whose children will sing
minor songs. And their children more and more until you can’t ignore your own
genes changing. “Yet that is a possible truth: Singers are murderers. Which
are they? Murderers or martyrs? Or is there yet a third possible truth? Did
they try to light the darkness, and failing, allow simple death as a healing
benediction over their tortured children? Time might light the darkness; death
is always the price of time. “My people paid that price, and more. With that costly time
the Singers created a tool through which they might know their children and yet
live to use knowledge. “I am that tool. From my Galactic father came the ability to
survive the licking darkness. From my Singer mother came control over the
interface between matter and energy. The Singers raised me and I shared their
ignorance of Galactic minds. Knowing only creation, I was sent ... here. “Yet even my special genes were not enough. The Singers had
known this; they had known that if I were to judge Galactics I must be a
Galactic, and yet a Singer. I must be complemented. “A man came to me. A Galactic.” Tarhn felt the heartbeat falter, then surge. He
learned/remembered Lyra’s wonder and joy when she had sensed the completion
which waited in him. Tasted her bafflement at the unexpected reluctance, missed
linkages, an agony of jaggedness which would have killed any Singer but her. (i did not know lyra let me) (nor did i no) (seek her she is alone as we never were never could be
focus) Futile cries leaking from closed minds, he could not reach
her. “From him I learned of flawed creation. Singer and Galactic,
betrayed, betrayers, one and nothing. Hear me, Singers .... I can live in the
black flames but I cannot light them. Even with a billion suns I cannot. But I
can release you.” A threnody of regret rising, falling, beating with the
beating heart, beating in his bones, beating, and each beat a sun touched and
known, energy flowing into Lyra, focused. Creation gone awry and deadly. (as they lived in the radiance of a billion suns so shall
they disperse) (we are still becoming Lyra creation is not ended) (it ends now see it) And he saw their galaxy a silver spiral reeling, novas
flaring and feeding Lyra who shaped chant into Song. His own traitor heart
beating time to stars dying. NO He pushed against the pervasive beat, screaming at the
Singers to stop Lyra stop themselves stop. His call fell into the beating song,
returned. We cannot, would not. She is our focus. *She is my complement, Lyra Mara.* A sigh, prolonged pulsing of sorrow and regret. Lyra Mara died in your Unfolding. Shock wrenched Tarhn free of the song. His eyes opened and
he saw Lyra so close—a stranger, powerful and sure. Singer. Focus of blasting radiance
and suns exploding. Must all vanish into the golden eyes of death? Must he go
alone and unfinished, never to savor the supple flesh and mind soaring link
upon link growing to completion (Lyra where are you?) he would know if she were
dead? She could not be dead. He had (sensed) her inner cry, and long ago ... so
long ... his flesh had said what his mind withheld, bodies wise with each other’s
wisdom. Simple touch. Creation unending. *Lyra. I have changed. Know me as we disperse ... if we
must.* Tarhn’s hand touched her face and he reached into the
burning gold and beyond. His mind linked effortlessly with hers, though he did
not feel her. (where are you?) The song returned stronger and he felt his blood pound again
to the inexorable beat of dying stars ... Lyra writhing. At his touch? *Even now, my love?* he thought hollowly. *Even now?* Agony condensing into thought. *... flawed creation,* whispered her mind. *Flawed? Or merely different?* *Does it matter?* she responded quickly, hope smeared across
despair. *Does my touch maim you now? Does my mind?* *No ...* *Shall we end as ignorantly as we began?* Pause beating, beating. *I brought knowledge to the Singers. Now I release them ...
and their tortured children.* Stars extinguishing, pulling a frail thread of darkness
across the galaxy. Soon the net would be stronger, larger, subsuming even the
suns which warmed Galactic life. *Did I scourge all love and mercy and hope from you? Can you
feel only agony, seek only dispersion?* *That is what I was created for! Can’t you feel it, know it?
The Singers were helpless before their own creation. They were doomed to
dissolve in the acid backlash of Galactic minds. Condemned to feel their minds
wasting, dispersing by slow increments into nothing. They could not even hasten
their own dispersal!* *But you can,* thought Tarhn, anger and sorrow mingling. *I must. They erred, yes, but they have paid enough and more
for their mistakes. Would you lengthen their suffering?* *Their error was weakness. We share strength. We know the
black flames, have felt their freezing embrace. If the Singers had known and
been strong, their creation would have been different.* *Different ... but still flawed.* *You can’t be sure. Can you deny hope?* (hope) Waiting beating beating beating (touch me Lyra know completion know hope) Touch him. Hope! *If ...* her thought surged, *if only we ... yes!* Mental linkages came alive as he/she raced to convergence.
Against brooding knowledge and power, lightning emotions flashed, disturbing in
their sudden illumination, fascinating in their beauty. The limitless yielding
was gone, as was innocence, but Tarhn/Lyra did not mourn the loss. Only fools regret the omissions that make a masterpiece possible. Different. Paeans of joy and possibility leaped above the consuming
beat of exploding stars, shaped novas’ chaos into a net of light leaping from
the still living galaxy. For a moment Carifil tasted the wonder of what their
friends were, then the moment and Tarhn/Lyra became a reaching net of light.
Carifil stretched toward the light, yearned, and were comforted by a fall of
song, *We are what your children will become.* Descant farewell swept through Galactic minds. Only Carifil
sensed Singers flowing from the galaxy, lifting and condensing into a single
shimmering line, song pouring across the void between galaxies, seeking,
finding. Aimless energy coalesced into rock and water Dust and ice. Random No life. Golden notes touch a sterile planet Creation singing Life beginning Again. |
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