"Mercedes Lackey - Aliens Ate My Pickup" - читать интересную книгу автора (Lackey Mercedes)

So I petted it, an' it rolled over on its back an' stuck all six legs in
th'air, an' just acted about like any other pup. I went off t' the barn an'
got Thang—I ended up callin' it Thang fer's long as I had it—I got Thang a big
ol' bowl'a dog food, didn' know what else t'give it. Well, he looked pretty
pleased, an' he ate it right up—but then he sicked it right back up too. I
shoulda figgered, I guess, he bein' from someplace else an' all, but it was
worth a try.

But 'fore I could try somethin' else, he started off fer m'bushes. I figgered
he was gonna use 'em fer the usual—

But heckfire if he didn't munch down m' junipers, an' then sick them up! Boy
howdy, was that a mess! Look, you can see the place right there—

Yes'm, I know. I got th' stuff tested later, after it was all over. Chemist
said th' closest thang he'd ever seen to't was somethin' he called Aquia Reqa
or somethin' like—kind've a mix a' all kinda acids together, real nasty stuff,
etches glass an' everthang.
Anyhow, I reckon gettin' fed an' then sickin' it all back up agin jest made
the poor critter 'bout half crazy bein' hungry. But next I know, Thang's took
off like a shot, a headin' fer one'a my chickens!

Well, he caught it, an he ate it down, beak an' feathers, an' he sicked it
right back up agin' 'fore I could stop 'im.

That made me hot all over agin'. Some dang idjut makes a mess'a my hayfield,
then this Thang makes messes all over m'yard, an' then it eats one'a my
chickens. Now I'm a soft man, but there's one thing I don't stand for, an'
that's critters messin' with the stock. I won't have no dog that runs cows,
sucks eggs, or kills chickens. So I just grabbed me the first thang that I
could and I went after that Thang t'lay inta him good. Happens it was a
shovel, an' I whanged him a good one right upside th' haid 'fore he'd even
finished bein' sick. Well, it seemed t'hurt him 'bout as much as a rolled-up
paper'll hurt a pup, so I kept whangin' him an' he kept cowerin' an'
whimperin' an' then he grabbed the shovel, the metal end.

An' he ate it.

He didn't sick that up, neither.

Well, we looked at each other, an' he kinda wagged his tails, an' I kinda
forgave 'im, an' we went lookin' fer some more stuff he could eat.

I tell you, I was a pretty happy man 'fore the day was over. I reckoned I had
me th' answer to one of m'bills. See, I c'n compost 'bout ev'thang organic,
an' I can turn them aluminum cans in, but the rest of th' trash I gotta pay
for pickup, an' on a farm, they's a lot of it what they call hazardous, an'
thats extra. What? Oh, you know, barrels what had chemicals in 'em,
bug-killer, weed-killer, fertilizer. That an' there's just junk that kinda
accumulates. An' people are always dumpin' their dang old cars out here, like