APHRODITE'SSECRET-JULIEKENNER
VENERATE COUNCIL OF PROTECTORS
1-800-555-HERO
www.superherocentral.com
Protecting Mortals Is Our Business!
Official Business
Jason Murphy
Protector, Second Class
Marina del Rey, California
Greetings and Salutations:
A routine inspection of Protector Census Records reveals that you failed to file a Notice of Halfling Nascence contemporaneously with the birth of your halfling offspring. As you are aware, a Protector parent’s failure to register a halfling birth is grounds for expulsion from the Council, resulting in said Protector parent being Outcast. Pursuant to Regulation 42(F)(2)(iii), you are hereby officially notified of the default. Please correct this oversight by the anniversary of the halfling’s seventh birthday to avoid being Outcast and the requisite unpleasantries associated therewith.
Form 863(b)—Notice of Halfling Nascence—is enclosed for your convenience. Please note that the form must be signed by you and filed in triplicate. Alternatively, the form may be completed and submitted over the Council’s secure server. In either case, the signature and/or electronic identification of the mortal parent is not required. In an effort to strengthen mortal-protector relations, however, the Council’s new official position (see Circular 87A) is that Protector parents should reveal their status as such, and their offspring’s status as halflings. While such disclosure is not required under the Mortal-Protector Treaty of 1970, it is encouraged. You are also encouraged to read Circular 87A and to visit the So You’ve Sired A Halfling page at the Council website, www.superherocentral.com, for more information on raising a healthy, happy halfling.
In furtherance of a recently implemented effort to foster bonds between halflings and their Protector parents, we are enclosing Council Publication Numbers 1758-A(3), 2987-Z(9), and 4589(D)(2)(a), respectively titled “So You’re A Halfling,” “The Venerate Council: A Brief History in 1200 Pages,” and “Favorite Protector Tales—an Illustrated Board Book.”
As you are undoubtedly aware, halfling enrollment in Council-sponsored elementary school is both permitted and encouraged. Moreover, because of the genealogical issues and considerations surrounding your offspring—i.e., the unfortunate existence of an Outcast grandfather—the Inner Circle of Elders has determined that such Council-sponsored education would be in the best interest of the child, particularly in light of your lack of direct involvement in the upbringing of your offspring. Accordingly, please deliver said offspring to the Olympus Elementary Facility, Principal’s office, prior to the seventh anniversary of the birth of the child. Your failure to deliver such offspring will result in the assignment of a Protector Retrieval Team to gather the child and deliver him safely to his new school. Of course, we highly recommend that you explain the necessity for removal of the offspring to the offspring’s mortal parent prior to such removal. In our experience, mortals tend to react badly to the unannounced disappearance of their offspring.
You are entitled to a hearing on the Circle of Elders’ decision regarding the education of your offspring. Please submit Form 234(D)(3), Request for Hearing, along with all necessary backup documentation, in triplicate, to the Office of Dispute Resolution. You will be notified of the assigned hearing date in due course. Considering the current backlog, please allow six to eight months before contacting the Council with inquiries as to the status of your request.
Thank you for your attention to this matter, and good luck in your continuing adventure in parenting.
Sincerely,
Phelonium Prigg,
Phelonium Prigg,
Recording Secretary,
Inner Circle of Elders
jbk:PP
enclosure
APHRODITE'SSECRET-JULIEKENNER
VENERATE COUNCIL OF PROTECTORS
1-800-555-HERO
www.superherocentral.com
Protecting Mortals Is Our Business!
Official Business
Jason Murphy
Protector, Second Class
Marina del Rey, California
Greetings and Salutations:
A routine inspection of Protector Census Records reveals that you failed to file a Notice of Halfling Nascence contemporaneously with the birth of your halfling offspring. As you are aware, a Protector parent’s failure to register a halfling birth is grounds for expulsion from the Council, resulting in said Protector parent being Outcast. Pursuant to Regulation 42(F)(2)(iii), you are hereby officially notified of the default. Please correct this oversight by the anniversary of the halfling’s seventh birthday to avoid being Outcast and the requisite unpleasantries associated therewith.
Form 863(b)—Notice of Halfling Nascence—is enclosed for your convenience. Please note that the form must be signed by you and filed in triplicate. Alternatively, the form may be completed and submitted over the Council’s secure server. In either case, the signature and/or electronic identification of the mortal parent is not required. In an effort to strengthen mortal-protector relations, however, the Council’s new official position (see Circular 87A) is that Protector parents should reveal their status as such, and their offspring’s status as halflings. While such disclosure is not required under the Mortal-Protector Treaty of 1970, it is encouraged. You are also encouraged to read Circular 87A and to visit the So You’ve Sired A Halfling page at the Council website, www.superherocentral.com, for more information on raising a healthy, happy halfling.
In furtherance of a recently implemented effort to foster bonds between halflings and their Protector parents, we are enclosing Council Publication Numbers 1758-A(3), 2987-Z(9), and 4589(D)(2)(a), respectively titled “So You’re A Halfling,” “The Venerate Council: A Brief History in 1200 Pages,” and “Favorite Protector Tales—an Illustrated Board Book.”
As you are undoubtedly aware, halfling enrollment in Council-sponsored elementary school is both permitted and encouraged. Moreover, because of the genealogical issues and considerations surrounding your offspring—i.e., the unfortunate existence of an Outcast grandfather—the Inner Circle of Elders has determined that such Council-sponsored education would be in the best interest of the child, particularly in light of your lack of direct involvement in the upbringing of your offspring. Accordingly, please deliver said offspring to the Olympus Elementary Facility, Principal’s office, prior to the seventh anniversary of the birth of the child. Your failure to deliver such offspring will result in the assignment of a Protector Retrieval Team to gather the child and deliver him safely to his new school. Of course, we highly recommend that you explain the necessity for removal of the offspring to the offspring’s mortal parent prior to such removal. In our experience, mortals tend to react badly to the unannounced disappearance of their offspring.
You are entitled to a hearing on the Circle of Elders’ decision regarding the education of your offspring. Please submit Form 234(D)(3), Request for Hearing, along with all necessary backup documentation, in triplicate, to the Office of Dispute Resolution. You will be notified of the assigned hearing date in due course. Considering the current backlog, please allow six to eight months before contacting the Council with inquiries as to the status of your request.
Thank you for your attention to this matter, and good luck in your continuing adventure in parenting.
Sincerely,
Phelonium Prigg,
Phelonium Prigg,
Recording Secretary,
Inner Circle of Elders
jbk:PP
enclosure