"James Patrick Kelly - Chemistry" - читать интересную книгу автора (Kelly James Patrick)

"You've been in love before, Lily?"
"Of course." He wouldn't take a hint; she'd probably
have to be rude.
"What's it like?"
"Oh, come on." She watched him watching her, his pupils
like black buttons. "You know."
"No. I've never been in love."
"What, you grew up in a monastery?"
The sarcasm seemed to bounce off him. "I thought I was
in love once." He paused, as if deciding how much to
tell her. "We worked in the same office. She was older.
Married. When her husband found out, she broke it off.
She said she didn't love me and that I didn't really
love her."
"And you believed her?" Lily didn't know why she was
encouraging him. He nodded. "She was right. The sex was
great but it wasn't love. I got all excited because she
was beautiful, smart, rich, powerful, what I thought I
wanted. But we never talked, except about the business
or the weather or what hotel to meet at. The day we
broke up she told me she was a Catholic and went to
church every Sunday. She said she'd felt really guilty
about what we'd been doing. It wasn't a secret, I just
never asked."
The elevator doors opened again and a bald Hispanic
woman blinked in astonishment at the welcome garden.
"I realized that if I hadn't loved her, then I'd never
loved anyone."
The musicians were ready. "Hell of a thing to find out
about yourself," she said.
"Something I'd like to fix, Lily."
This was her chance; she could escape into the next
dance. She wouldn't have to hurt him -- not that she
cared. Afterward she could sneak away. She didn't need a
man with another woman's footprints up his back. But if
she left now, who was going to make sure Marja didn't
run off with the circus?
"What happened to your jacket?" she said. "Your name
badge?"
"I went to find a place where we could be alone. I left
them to hold our spot."
The bass player announced a new dance called "Swing or
Cheat" and sets began forming around them.
"It's really pretty," Steve said. "There's a stream and
a bush with tiny oranges on it and white flowers that
smell like honey."
Lily was getting used to the way he made eye contact.
Whatever Steve's other faults, she believed he was
sincere. Glenn had always looked away when he lied to
her.