"Simon R. Green - Nightside 1 - Drinking Midnight Wine" - читать интересную книгу автора (Green Simon R)

'You do like the sound of your own voice, don't you?' said Gayle. 'I've never met a man that
didn't. I could warn you till I'm blue in the face, and you still wouldn't hear a damn thing you
didn't want to. Listen to me, Toby; please. You don't matter to me, except for the danger you
represent. I don't love you. I never will. But no, you're right. I can't make you forget. It would
be the safest, sanest thing to do, but there's no arguing with a man who thinks he's in love. Just
remember, when everything's gone to shit and I've had to abandon you to die horribly for the sake
of both worlds, I did offer.'
'Why offer, if you don't care for me?'
'Because I am more than I seem. I have responsibilities. Even to complete idiots who won't be told
what's best for them.'
'It's more than that,' said Toby remorselessly. 'I can hear it in your voice.'
'All right!' Gayle threw her hands up in the air. 'I collect strays. It's a weakness of mine. But
in the end you mean no more to me than some sad old torn with fleas and a chewed-up ear. You've
got about as much sense. Why risk your life, your security, to be a focal point, when you're
incapable of understanding what that means, and what it's worth, if anything? There's no guarantee
that anything good will come of this, especially for you.'
'You're cute when you're angry,' said Toby. 'Don't hit me! Look; don't think this is entirely
about you. I've never been important before. Just once, I need to feel that I'm worth something,
that what I do matters. That's worth dying for. Hell; that's worth living for.'
'Let me ask you a serious question,' said Gayle. 'What value do you think one ordinary man can
have in a magical world? What can one mortal man bring to the affairs of immortals?'
'Beats me,' said Toby. 'Maybe whoever chose me to be a focal point knows the answer. Or maybe
we're supposed to work it out for ourselves.'
Gayle sighed heavily, and looked down into her empty teacup for a long time. Toby let her. It


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meant he could adore her beauty uninterrupted, while at the same time concentrate on ignoring the
sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt more and more that he had just jumped in at the deep end
in lead-lined boots, and that someone had thrown a shark in after him. For all his brave words, he
wasn't at all sure he was doing the right thing. The thought that there were people, and perhaps
things not at all people, who would cheerfully kill him just for existing, scared the crap out of
him. Part of him wanted to go straight home, hide under the bed and not come out until it was all
safely over. But he'd meant what he said. Gayle mattered more to him than his own safety, and
perhaps even his life. Love could be a hard old bitch, sometimes.
Love was supposed to come to you when you were a teenager, when both of you were already half
crazy anyway, driven out of your heads by raging hormones and ready to do six irresponsible things
before breakfast. When you had your best years still ahead of you, and lots of time to learn from
your mistakes. It shouldn't barge its way into your life when you're well into your thirties, and
used to the idea that you're always going to be alone. But this, all of it, was what he'd dreamed
of, prayed for, wanted so desperately for so many years: his dreams come true. So; suck it in,
square your shoulders, take a deep breath and get on with it. Because anything was better than
going back to his old, nothing, nowhere life.
And if he had to fall hard for someone, he was just glad it was someone as beautiful and special
as Gayle. It would be nice if she cared something for him, just a little bit. But then, you
couldn't have everything.
'Tell me,' Gayle said suddenly, fixing him with her gorgeous eyes so that his heart jumped in his