"Ron Goulart - Conversations with My Knees" - читать интересную книгу автора (Goulart Ron)

“Soyloaf on twelve-grain gluten-free bread,” I corrected.

Mavis had called a few minutes earlier to say the New Scattergood
Singers’ rehearsal was running late. She wouldn’t be home in time for
dinner, but she’d left a substantial sandwich for me in the refrigerator.

“Late rehearsal, my fanny,” commented my right knee. “It’s shack-up
time in the old corral if—”

“You don’t have a fanny,” I pointed out as I found myself trotting out
into the kitchen.

“Figure of speech.”

Now I was standing in front of our state-of-the-art turquoise-colored
stove. “These new knees—you guys, that is—you can convert me into a
gourmet chef? What the hell does Dr. Dowling have in mind?”

“His initial assignment from the National Office of Clandestine—”

“No need to blab too much, sis.”
 “Well, the poor man has to know what’s happened to him.”

“Okay, but I’ll give him the skinny. Dowling is an expert on advanced
robotics and performance-enhancing implants.”

“Why would a guy with those qualifications be working at the
Slesinger?” I noticed that I had walked over to the fridge and was taking out
a carton of eggs and a handful of portabella mushrooms.

“Some parsley, too,” suggested my maternal knee.

The other knee continued, “Doc Dowling has a little lab hidden down
in the bowels of the joint. He’s developed a device that can convert an
average gink like you into a crackerjack fighting man. Once inserted it
can—”

“Why does a crackerjack fighting man need to tap dance or concoct
omelets?” I was beating an assortment of omelet ingredients in one of our
earth-color mixing bowls.

The maternal knee explained, “Dr. Dowling, bless him, believes that
even a brutal fighting man should be well-rounded. You’ll find that now that
his secret serum is coursing through your veins you—”

“Secret serum.” I stopped whisking, and goosebumps visited both
my arms.

“You will be a wiz at math, including advanced calculus, speak six