"Gina Gallo - The Insane Fish" - читать интересную книгу автора (Gallo Gina)

THE INSANE FISH
by Gina Gallo

It has nothing to do with seafood. And like most cop legends in Chicago, everyone's got a different version of how it started. Some say the Insane Fish was the brainchild of beat cops intent on screwing over Internal Affairs. Others think it's a term coined by Marine Unit members who wanted a cool name for their golf league T-shirts. The rest of us are willing to acknowledge the 14th District tactical unit as the original founding Fish.

In a city that has over two hundred gangs (numbers that grow daily), the 14th District has more than its share. The Spanish Gangsters, Insane Unknown and Children of Satan are just a few of the gangs that provide equal-opportunity crime. While membership may vary according to location or ethnicity, most gangs favor names that pledge allegiance to Satan, hint at royalty and/or are a testimonial for mental illness. As often as new factions spring up, the hardest part is keeping score.

At the local cop watering hole one night, tac officers Trafford and Danovich tried to figure it out.

"Went through my court log for last period," Danovich noted. "Out of all the gang arrests, twenty of 'em were some kind of devils or demons, nine were Kings, Counts or Lords, eighteen were gangster something-or-others, and all the rest were insane. Insane Unknown. Insane Cobras. Insane ViceLords. Like they're poster boys for some asylum, fer Crissakes. How come it's cool to say you're nuts?"
"I know what you mean," Trafford agreed. "Remember those girls we stopped last week? Four thirteen-year olds who called themselves a gang. 'Sisters of the Insane.' What the hell is that?"

"Probably what my sisters were called when we were growing up." Danovich sipped his suds. "Only back then, anybody called you a nut to your face got the shit kicked out of him."

"Amen to that," toasted Cypher, the cop on the next stool. "The good old days, when things made sense."

"I lock up one more 'banger who belongs to some 'Insane' set, I think I'll go nuts myself," Danovich continued.

"You're halfway there already. It'll be a short trip." Winking, the bartender set down another round. "Don't think any of you guys are wrapped too tight. Maybe you're crazier than they are."

"Fuckin' A!" Trafford chortled. "And there's more of us than them!"

"Fuckin' A!" Up and down the bar, glasses were raised in toast.

"They may be swimmin' in the pond," someone slurred. "But it's OUR pond, and we're the baddest mothers in it!"

"Hell, yes!" Danovich drained his glass. "Biggest fish in the pond!"

"The Blue Fish!" someone yelled.

"INSANE Fish!" shouted another. "Insane Fish rule!"

"Fuckin' A!" Danovich thumped the bar. "We're the Insane Fish! Biggest and baddest in the pond."

It was a joke that got funnier with each beer, but the name stuck. From that night forward, the tac officers of 14 were the Insane Fish. They left memos to each other initialed 'I.F.' Developed their own secret handshake and 'gang sign' in parody of the 'bangers they locked up. Growled "Fish rule!" from the loudspeakers of tac cars passing on the street. It was just a joke, something to laugh about through the course of their watch. And like most cop jokes, it spread throughout the department.

"Heard anything about a bad new gang setting up?" Trafford inquired of his unit commander, affecting a serious tone. "Intelligence we've gotten so far is that these guys are some major bad-asses. Wanna take down the whole damn district." The commander hadn't heard of the Insane Fish, but took it under advisement. And when a raw haddock was found, rotting under the front seat of his personal car, he considered it a sign. A blatant attempt by this new gang to intimidate the police, he figured. And sent out a memo the very next day, apprising the Gangs Unit of this latest development. The people in Gangs thought he was one tuna short of a salad.

But the Insane Fish were hitting the streets in a big way. What was the point of being a gang if you couldn't spread the word? The 14th district tac guys decided it was time to stir up the pond.

Cruising through the 'hood one night, Trafford and Danovich spotted a couple Imperial Gangsters lounging on the corner "Yo, Homes," called Danovich. "Heard a new set's about to take over your turf. Got the guns, got the finest bitches, gonna put you outta business. Whatcha think about that?"

"I think you're nuts, man!" scowled one of the 'bangers.
"Bingo!" chuckled Danovich.

"Insane Fish!" Trafford told them. "Better watch your back."
Other cops dropped hints while doing the paperwork after their arrests.

"What set you run with, man?" they'd ask the sullen gangbanger.
"You know what I am, man. I been arrested like twenty times before."