"FWLS5" - читать интересную книгу автора (A Future We'd Like to See)

A Future We'd Like to See 1.5 - Rebel Without a Spine
By Twoflower (Copyright 1993)

"Well, um, what safety features does it have?" I asked,
fidgeting on my spot in the Used Warpcycle Dealer's showroom.

"Safety?" the dealer laughed vigorously, a spot of droll
getting on his clean dress shirt. "My friend, if you're worried
about safety, you don't want a warpcycle."

"Maybe you're right," I said. "I mean, this was sort of a
spontaneous thing. I figured I had the cash, and-"

"How about this," he jumped in with. "I give you the
deflector shield for small spacebound particles, the vac suit,
the helmet, the whole works, and I'll also wire on an bungee cord
or something to keep you from flying off when travelling faster
than light. Howzzat?"

I didn't like the sound of it at all, to tell the truth. I
mean, this is me, Wendell Stibbly, balding accountant out of
HappiWerld, the safest planet to grow up on. I mean, the group
that originally settled it used stock episodes of 2-D shows like
Leave it to Beaver and My Three Sons to plan it. The Republican
party has its headquarters there. Would I, a cautious, twitchy
accountant, normally buy a warpcycle?

Of course not. But recently, while standing outside my
office building trying to hail a cab, a group of teenagers in a
HUGE-wheeled land rover zoomed by, splattering water on me from a
puddle. They roared away, laughing like, well, happy kids. I
realized that I really did miss the wild, rebellious days of my
youth where I returned library books late, showed up to class
tardy three times, and even wrote "Mr. Hodgepotter is a Weiner"
on the bathroom wall in magic marker. Wow. I was such an
uncontrollable punk back then!

So, you, (meaning me in the literary term), Wendell Stibbly,
have no social life now, as pointed out by kids you out-age many
a year. So I liquidated my assets and funds, draining my Swiss
bank accounts and consolidating loans and the like, and set out
to take up the most dangerous, carefree lifestyle that exists :
being a warpcycle gang member.

I thought it'd be easy. Step one, buy a bike. Step two,
find a gang. Step three, join the gang. Step four, take off for
excitement, adventure, fast women, fast money. I was quite
looking forward to the fast women part. When was my last date?
It was with Sheryll from Public Relations, if I recall. She went
to the bathroom at the movie theater in the middle of the movie,