"Esther M. Friesner - Auntie Elspeth's Halloween Story (or The Gourd, The Bad, And The Ugly)" - читать интересную книгу автора (Friesner Esther M)

up! Billy, Tommy, try to make yourselves useful for a change and get that rabbity little sister of yours to
stop crying.
What do you mean, I scared her? How could a simple little story about one insignificant, bloodthristy,
vengeance-obsessed mummy bother anyone? It’s even got amoral , for pity’s sake: If you touch stuff
you’re told not to touch, you die a hideous, unnatural death. That’s anexcellent moral, in my humble
opinion. Eminently practical. And the story’s full of all kinds of fascinating facts about ancient Egypt. It’s
educational!

Gawd.

You know, in my day when we asked for a Halloween story we wanted to be scared spitless. And we all
dressed up like ghosts and ghouls and goblins because we wanted to scare all the other kids so bad
they’d walk home with their shoes squishing. At least tell methat hasn’t changed.

Oh. So Cindy’s going to be a fairy princess and Billy’s going to be a teddy bear. Pass me that plastic
basin from under the nightstand, Tommy; Auntie Elspeth’s feeling a mite poorly and I don’t want to pitch
my porridge all over my clean shoes.

And what are you going to be this Halloween? A tofu burger?

Ahhhh, aghost ! Good boy. At least that’s a step in the right—

The ghost of Anton van Loewenwho ?

Jesus, take me now. Do you little fluff-bunnies have blood in your veins or maple syrup?

Look, grab another fistful of taffy, stop your gobs, and Auntie Elspeth is going to tell you a Halloween
story if it kills me. (Which it will, if there’s a just and merciful God who doesn’t want to see me suffer
away the rest of this afternoon.) Don’t worry, it won’t be about vampires or mummies or zombies or
anything nifty like that. It’s going to be just the way your parents wantyou to be: Sweet and safe and
sanitized for their protection. All that Auntie Elspeth’s going to ask of you darling moppets is that you sit
down, pay attention, and let your imaginations take you down the lovely garden path that leads to the
Enchanted Pumpkin Patch, becausethis , children, is the story of Jo-Jo the Jolly Jack o’ Lantern:

Once upon a time there was a little pumpkin named Jo-Jo. He grew up round and plump and happy with
all of his little pumpkin friends in old Farmer Nosferatu’s pumpkin patch. Oh, such jolly times they all
had! The sun warmed them and the rain watered them and every time a traveling salesman came a-calling
at the farmhouse, old Farmer Nosferatu would invite him inside, out of sight, and very soon afterwards
he’d make a special trip down to the pumpkin patch to give the happy little pumpkins a great big dose of
bonemeal fertilizer.Dear old Farmer Nosferatu!

It was a good life, but it wasn’t enough for Jo-Jo. You see, Jo-Jo was a pumpkin with a dream. More
than anything else, Jo-Jo wanted to grow up to be big enough and round enough and just the perfect
shade of orange to be made into a jack o’ lantern in time for Halloween.

Now Jo-Jo didn’t really know all there was to know about being a jack o’ lantern, because he had still
been only a seed the last time October 31 rolled around. Everything he’d ever heard about Halloween
came from wise old Mr. Hooty Owl who lived in the lightning-blasted tree over by the north fence near
the graveyard. Night after night, wise old Mr. Hooty Owl would scare himself up a fine fuzzy field mouse
dinner, then sit on the pumpkin patch fence while he gobbled down every juicy morsel. And in between