"Frankowski, Leo - Stargard 1 - The Cross Time Engineer" - читать интересную книгу автора (Frankowski Leo)

The Crosstime Engineer
Book 1 of the Adventures of Conrad Starguard
By Leo Frankowski

ISBN: 0-345-32762-4






Prologue


“DAMN IT! I have five doctorates!” she shouted.

He looked up from the pile of Polish government forms on his desk and surveyed the dumpy, middle-aged waitress in front of him. Why me, Lord?

“So?” he said dryly. “It happens that, academically, you are below average at this installation. I have nine. I am also your boss, and you are screaming at me.”

“But it isn’t fair!”

“Right. But then nobody ever claimed that the Service was fair-or that the universe was either, for that matter. This is your first day here. If you have a problem, you may tell me about it. But if you raise your voice one more time, I will bounce you off three of these walls before you hit the floor. One of my doctorates is in martial arts. Clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, what precisely is your problem?” He leaned back, his fingertips touching to form an arch.

“Everything!” she shouted, and then remembered her situation and started again quietly. “This is all a mistake. I shouldn’t be in twentieth-century Poland. My field is ancient Greece. And this fat forty-year-old body! Doctrine is that one should start out a tour of duty as a teenager! And having to tend tables at a bar! And-”

“Hold it and keep your voice down! Now, you say there’s been a mistake. Let's check the record.” He touched four nondescript spots on his battered wooden desk, and a display appeared in front of him, individual letters glowing white in the air.

“Hmmm… born in North America, 62,218 B.C… approved for child rearing; eleven children… retired at forty-five, attended Museum University 62,219 B.C. to 62,192 B.C… doctorates in medicine, Slavic languages, psychology, and Greek literature… accepted into the Historical Corps…”

“First assignment, Periclean Athens! God, what luck! Do you realize that I have twice petitioned to vacation in Periclean Athens and have been turned down both times? More people want to visit than there are natives in the city. And you get it as a first assignment!”

“Well, sir, my usual body isn’t this flabby mess. And if you know the right people-”

“Humph. Then I recommend a program of diet and exercise. In any event, your record there was less than outstanding… meddling in local politics, interfering with an assassination.”

“But a hetaera was supposed to be interested in politics. ”

“Your examiners felt otherwise. Well, let’s see… After fortyone years in Athens, you returned to the university and obtained a doctorate in ancient Egyptian languages, were turned down four times on assignments in the ninth through thirteenth dynasties, respectively… eleven other requests denied… eventually you volunteered for an open assignment and got twentieth-century Poland.”

“Faced with this assignment, you requested the shortest possible tour of duty. It happens that your predecessor served twenty-seven years of a fifty-one-year tour, then quit.”

“She quit? But that means—”

“Right. She was dismissed from the corps. What she does with the rest of her life is up to her. Most quitters end up drinking themselves to death out of boredom, although I hear the anthropology people are always looking for folks to track the migration patterns of Homo erectus.”