"Carol Emshwiller - Acceptance Speech" - читать интересную книгу автора (Emshwiller Carol)knowing that it was a poem.)
Suddenly you started with different sorts of tests, though whether tests or initiation, I'm still not sure. You don't speak to me of that other time before I wore the robes and ribbons of my station. Perhaps it's beneath my dignity to speak about it now, but now you'll not fault me for it because I have already had a poet's full share of punishment. You began the new stage by throwing mud and rocks at me. I couldn't guess why. Sometimes it seemed inadvertent -- almost like a tic of some sort. You weren't even looking toward my cage when you did it. Or I wasn't looking. Once I was hit on the head and didn't know it until I came to with a lump behind my ear. Why, I wondered, this change from mazes to cruelty? And you were saying "Confess," over and over. (I knew by then the syllables for it.) Confess what? Then there came a series of small annoyances: tacks on the floor of my cage, crumbs on my pallet, rotten things in my soup, shells in my nuts, hulls in my grains. "Confess. Admit," is all you would say. I had no idea what to confess to, and, as my curls grew yet longer, you became more and more frantic. I began to be able to tell your moods by the way your ears lay (flat against your hair if you were angry) and by the way your tails flipped from side to side. Being a poet is knowing when to stop. Being a poet is knowing when to begin. (You said these.) I finally discovered, through dint of your training, that I did, after all, have the knack of the contemplation of the absolute. Though, at first, the concept of the absolute escaped me utterly, you lived by it every day. The syllables for it were your favorite syllables. The absolute, you said, is where and what all science comes from. It took me many hard lessons to come to terms with that and to answer, as was so often called for: "Absolutely." But I began with: Ab, baa, baa, ab, ab, baa, and after those first bits I got myself the drink, but then my cage was tipped up over a puddle and I fell out and landed in the mud. Unwashed, just as I was, I was tied to a pole and carried to the poets palace and taken in through a. small back door. Hooded poets came. "Sing," they said. All I knew was my, "Ab, baa, baa," but now it wasn't enough. I tried: "Cha, poo, tut," and was told to go back to ab and yet ab was wrong. I was pinched and pulled and slapped at until, three days later, I could answer properly with: "Ab-so-lu-la-la," and when I could answer with the "word" for poet in all its syllables as we, in my homeland might say: "Po-et-ti-ca-la-la" --when I could say these two, I was taken to the president, Humble-Master-of-the-Poem, he who is called The-Uncertained-Among-the-Certained, and also sometimes The-Certained-Among-the-Uncertained. Not as I was, all muddy and red, but washed and dressed in a backless robe of your form of silk, with the worms that made it still attached here and there so that all could see what it was woven of and marvel. I didn't know then why it had no back to it. I was not allowed...of course not allowed to actually see the president of poems |
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