"Harlan Ellison - Troublemakers" - читать интересную книгу автора (Ellison Harlan)

class.

So here’s this book of weird little stories, something like a modern-day version of Aesop’s Fables,
except not really. A book of warnings, what we call “gardyloos.” With lessons to be learned that come
out of my own corrupt and devilish adolescence.

Careful, though. Gardyloo! I am nobody’s here, and I am as fu-- well, you know what I mean, I’m as
messed up as you. So read the stories for pleasure, and if they make you grin or scare you a little, and
you turn out okay as an adult, and you get rich . . . send me some money.

Because I’m just a poor old guy trying to make a sparse living in a world full of “young people” who are
smarter than I, cleverer than I, faster than I; and I’m just about on the verge of becoming like y’know a
“bag lady” kind of guy, gnawing the heads off rats, peeing in doorways, begging from door to door. So,
when these stories make you rich and famous, and they’ve just completely like y’knowaltered your life,
send me a couple of bucks.

Because I love you folks, you know that, doncha?

I just love ya.

(And while we’re at it, I’d like to sell you some shares in the Panda Farm I’ve got growing in my butt.
Very reasonable.)

Yr. pal, Harlan.

HARLAN ELLISON
Sherman Oaks, California

ON THE DOWNHILL SIDE
Here’s one of the few Secret Truths I’ve learned for certain, having been “on the road” since I was
thirteen and ran away. (Had nothing to do with my folks; they didn’t beat me; I was a restless kid,
wanted to see the world.) The Truth is this: most of the reasons we give for having done something or
other, usually something that got us yelled at or grounded or busted, most of the reasons we dream up
are horse-puckey. (I’d use the B-word, but libraries are going to be stocking this book.) All those
reasons and excuses are just lame rationalizations, and they only tick off the people yelling at you. So
shine ’em on. Forget them. The only reason that makes any sense is “Itseemed like a good idea at the
time.” Lame though it may be, it’s the Truth. “Why did you bust that window?” Itseemed like a good
idea at the time. “Why did you get hung up on that guy/girl when you knew it was a destructive hookup?”
Itseemed like a good idea at the time. “Why did you do that lump of crack?” Itseemed . . . well, you get
it. Too bad the guy in this first story didn’t get it, because the True Answer to why you fell in love with
someone who ranked & hurt you is . . . itseemed like . . .



In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

— French proverb
Iknew she was a virgin because she was able to ruffle the silken mane of my unicorn. Named Lizette, she
was a Grecian temple in which no sacrifice had ever been made. Vestal virgin of New Orleans, found
walking without shadow in the thankgod coolness of cockroach-crawling Louisiana night. My unicorn