"Chevalier, Tracy - Girl with a Pearl Earring" - читать интересную книгу автора (Chevalier Tracy)

He returned the camera to van Leeuwenhoek.
Whenever I looked at the scene my chest grew tight as if something were pressing on it.
He set a canvas on the easel and painted a coat of lead white and chalk mixed with a bit of burnt sienna and yellow ocher.
My chest grew tighter, waiting for him.
He sketched lightly in reddish brown the outline of the woman and of each object.
When he began to paint great blocks of false colors, I thought my chest would burst like a sack that has been filled with too much flour.
As I lay in bed one night I decided I would have to make the change myself.
The next morning I cleaned, setting the jewelry box back carefully, relining the pearls, replacing the letter, polishing and replacing the inkwell. I took a deep breath to ease the pressure in my chest. Then in one quick movement I pulled the front part of the blue cloth onto the table so that it flowed out of the dark shadows under the table and up in a slant onto the table in front of the jewelry box. I made a few adjustments to the lines of the folds, then stepped back. It echoed the shape of van Ruijven's wife's arm as she held the quill.
Yes, I thought, and pressed my lips together. He may send me away for changing it, but it is better now.
That afternoon I did not go up to the attic, although there was plenty of work for me there. I sat outside on the bench with Tanneke and mended shirts. He had not gone to his studio that morning, but to the Guild, and had dined at van Leeuwenhoek's. He had not yet seen the change.
I waited anxiously on the bench. Even Tanneke, who tried to ignore me these days, noted my mood. "What's the matter with
you, girl?" she asked. She had taken to calling me girl like her mistress. "You're acting like a chicken that knows it's for the slaughter."
"Nothing," I said. "Tell me about what happened when Catharina's brother came here last. I heard about it at the market. They still mention you," I added, hoping to distract and flatter her, and to cover up how clumsily I moved away from her question.
For a moment Tanneke sat up straighter, until she remembered who was asking. "That's not your business," she snapped. "That's family business, not for the likes of you."
A few months before she would have delighted in telling a story that set her in the best light. But it was me who was asking, and I was not to be trusted or humored or favored with her words, though it must have pained her to pass up the chance to boast.
Then I saw him—he was walking towards us up the Oude Langendijck, his hat tilted to shield his face from the spring sunlight, his dark cloak pushed back from his shoulders. As he drew up to us I could not look at him.
"Afternoon, sir," Tanneke sang out in a completely different tone.
"Hello, Tanneke. Are you enjoying the sun?"
"Oh yes, sir. I do like the sun on my face."
I kept my eyes on the stitches I had made. I could feel him looking at me.
After he went inside Tanneke hissed, "Say hello to the master when he speaks to you, girl. Your manners are a disgrace."
"It was you he spoke to."
"And so he should. But you needn't be so rude or you'll end up in the street, with no place here."
He must be upstairs now, I thought. He must have seen what I've done.
I waited, barely able to hold my needle. I did not know exactly what I expected. Would he berate me in front of Tanneke? Would he raise his voice for the first time since I had come to live in his house? Would he say the painting was ruined?
Perhaps he would simply pull down the blue cloth so that it hung as it had before. Perhaps he would say nothing to me.
Later that night I saw him briefly as he came down for supper. He did not appear to be one thing or the other, happy or angry, unconcerned or anxious. He did not ignore me but he did not look at me either.
When I went up to bed I checked to see if he had pulled the cloth to hang as it had before I touched it.
He had not. I held up my candle to the easel—he had re-sketched in reddish brown the folds of the blue cloth. He had made my change.
I lay in bed that night smiling in the dark.
The next morning he came in as I was cleaning around the jewelry box. He had never before seen me making my measurements. I had laid my arm along one edge and moved the box to dust under and around it. When I looked over he was watching me. He did not say anything. Nor did I—I was concerned to set the box back exactly as it had been. Then I sponged the blue cloth with a damp rag, especially careful with the new folds I had made. My hands shook a little as I cleaned.
When I was done I looked up at him.
"Tell me, Griet, why did you change the tablecloth?" His tone was the same as when he had asked me about the vegetables at my parents' house.
I thought for a moment. "There needs to be some disorder in the scene, to contrast with her tranquillity," I explained. "Something to tease the eye. And yet it must be something pleasing to the eye as well, and it is, because the cloth and her arm are in a similar position."
There was a long pause. He was gazing at the table. I waited, wiping my hands against my apron.
"I had not thought I would learn something from a maid," he said at last.
On Sunday my mother joined us as I described the new painting to my father. Pieter was with us, and had fixed his eyes on a patch of sunlight on the floor. He was always quiet when we talked about my master's paintings.
I did not tell them about the change I had made that my master approved of.
"I think his paintings are not good for the soul," my mother announced suddenly. She was frowning. She had never before spoken of his work.
My father turned his face towards her in surprise.
"Good for the purse, more like," Frans quipped. It was one of the rare Sundays when he was visiting. Lately he had become obsessed with money. He questioned me about the value of things in the house on the Oude Langendijck, of the pearls and mantle in the painting, of the pearl-encrusted jewelry box and what it held, of the number and size of paintings that hung on the walls. I did not tell him much. I was sorry to think it of my own brother, but I feared his thoughts had turned to easier ways of making a living than as an apprentice in a tile factory. I suspected he was only dreaming, but I did not want to fuel those dreams with visions of expensive objects within his — or his sister's — reach.
"What do you mean, Mother?" I asked, ignoring Frans.
"There is something dangerous about your description of his paintings," she explained. "From the way you talk they could be of religious scenes. It is as if the woman you describe is the Virgin Mary when she is just a woman, writing a letter. You give the painting meaning that it does not have or deserve. There are thousands of paintings in Delft. You can see them everywhere, hanging in a tavern as readily as in a rich man's house. You could take two weeks' maid's wages and buy one at the market."
"If I did that," I replied, "you and Father would not eat for two weeks, and you would die without seeing what I bought."
My father winced. Frans, who had been tying knots in a length of string, went very still. Pieter glanced at me.
My mother remained impassive. She did not speak her mind often. When she did her words were worth gold.
"I'm sorry, Mother," I stammered. "I didn't mean—"
"Working for them has turned your head," she interrupted. "It's made you forget who you are and where you come from. We're a decent Protestant family whose needs are not ruled by riches or fashions."
I looked down, stung by her words. They were a mother's words, words I would say to my own daughter if I were concerned for her. Although I resented her speaking them, as I resented her questioning the value of his painting, I knew they held truth.
Pieter did not spend so long with me in the alley that Sunday.