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THE SHADOW DANCERS

4. You Can’t Think of Everything

I ain’t too clear on what came next. Oh, sure, I remember it, but not like it was real. More like a dream, you know? That’s ’cause I was her, and she didn’t think about much. It’s only when I think back on it with what I know as myself that I can put it into any kinda picture that makes sense.
I woke up in a kinda dingy, smelly dormitory. It didn’t have much in the way of lights and none in the way of privacy, but it had like twenty naked girls sleepin’ on cots. Down at the end there was a long basin and a row of open toilets. It looked and felt perfectly normal. This was my tribe and these were my sisters. The hard part for even me to get into now is that I had no sense of personal identity, of self, at all. I had a name all right—Beth it was—but there was no sense of bein’ a particular person named Beth.
We got up, took our shits in turn, walked under these open showers and wiped each other with hard soap, dried each other off with towels, and combed each other’s hair with carved wood combs. The showers were cold and while there was a lot of noise there wasn’t much said. We could talk, all right, in a kind of strict pidgin southern that made a lot of uses out of few words, but there wasn’t no need.
Then we went out, naked, on a cool gray day, and we did exercises and ran around this dirt track like schoolgirls at play. Some white folks watched us from off a ways but we didn’t pay ’em no mind. Then we all went into this other building where there was tables and benches on which were dishes and let the sisters who’d gotten up early serve us. I can’t tell you what the food was; you drank this thick, real sweet drink and you ate these different kinds of cakes. Lookin’ back I figure it was some kinda cheap health food, full of vitamins and minerals and stuff.
Then we all pitched in to clean up, makin’ that place not just clean but spotless. Then it was back to the exercises and the track again, only this time it was more playful and less organized. All this with no boss, no supervisor, not even any orders.
This day would be different, though. In late morning, a black truck pulled up at the big farmhouse off in the distance and after a while two black-clad storm troopers armed with pistols came over to us and we stopped and waited, curious but not afraid. White folks were afraid of these kind of men; to us they were just more white folks. With them was Jenner, one of the supervisors at the farm. He pointed, then drawled out, “All right, you girls! Listen up, now! I’m gonna call out three names. If you hear your name, then you go in and you shower and then you come back out to us. The rest of you just keep on with whatever you was doing.”
I was just as shocked and scared when they called Beth as if I were really Beth—which I thought I was. Still, I went with Daisy and Lavinia and took the shower and then reported back. We didn’t say nothin’ to each other—we was all too scared and confused for that. The black-clad men looked us over like we was horses or somethin’, then Jenner said, “You all been sold to a man up north. You go with these men and follow their orders.”
That was it; no good-byes, no nothin’—just go on, get in the back of the truck, and off. Well—not quite. When we got to the truck the men put chains on us. They didn’t feel heavy, so I guess they were some kind of strong new metal—they felt like aluminum but were hard as steel. They cuffed us hands in front, with about a foot’s worth of chain between, and they cuffed our legs with maybe two feet of chain between. I don’t know why they chained us—where was we gonna go?—but they did, then loaded us into the truck, which was a kinda pickup truck with one of them caps on the back. It wasn’t no camper, though; it was heated but you just sorta sat on the floor and that was it. There was a coupla boxes in there, too, but we didn’t dare open ’em. Crazy thing was, I got a little thrill, even got a little turned on, by wearin’ the chains.
Once we started off, though, we all got to cryin’ a little. It was like bein’ torn from the only family and world we knew.
After a while, though, Lavinia kinda took charge. She was more aggressive than we was. She even went to the little window and looked out, and after a while we did, too.
The impressions of the trip are just that—impressions. The highways looked real fancy, like our interstates, and had a lot of little cars on ’em. We went through a city, I don’t know which, and it looked real ugly, all sterile gray with block after block of tall, dirty buildin’s and lots of even uglier industry belchin’ smoke into the gray day. Most of the people we saw moved like they was always tired, dressed in plain clothes. Clearly the white folks here didn’t have much fun, neither. The good life, if it existed at all, was for the big shots.
And that, maybe, was the craziest thing of all. The more we saw of that white world, the less we wanted of it. We had no responsibilities, little work, no cares. Nobody would want to escape into that world. Even bein’ wrenched and sold we were still secure and safe. No decisions, no responsibilities. It’s scary to me to think that people can be brought up and conditioned to think that way, even now. Still and all, it was that world that did it, partly. It was a gray world filled with people with gray souls; a world without hope. They was all property, all slaves, white and black. The only difference was, nobody expected nothin’ from us.
They stopped the truck off and on, to stretch their legs and ours. They had one of them porta-potties for us and the boxes had cold, hard versions of the cakes and sweet stuff they’d fed us back at the farm and a jug of water. That was all for us. Every once in a while they’d stop the truck someplace and get out, sometimes for quite a while, just leavin’ us inside, while they ate or whatever. They were pretty ordinary-lookin’ white men ’cept for their fancy uniforms and shiny boots, but we’d flaunt it a little for ’em.
“Tempted to take ’em all on, Pete?” the one asked. “They might be too much for you.”
Nigresses? You got to be kiddin’. I ain’t that hard up. Why? You tempted?”
“Yeah, sorta.”
“Well, forget it. Vogel’ll run ’em through every test in the world. You know the rules. He gets ’em first. Don’t trust no real women not to cut his balls off.”
“Aw, what’s he care? These ain’t virgins. Look at ’em.”
“Well, you do what you want, but the last guy who did that wound up dangling from a meat hook on the walls.”
They didn’t, although truth was we wouldn’t have minded. Oh, they did a little fanny pattin’ and tit grabbin’ now and again, but overall they probably treated us better than they did their own kind. They even hauled out some old blankets when the chill got greater so we could wrap ’em around ourselves.
Fact was, the three of us did a lot of it in the back, there. It seemed normal and natural to make out, it felt good, and helped pass the time.
Eventually we got there, not over highways but back country mountain roads. We didn’t really see the place till we was inside it, but when we got there and the door opened it was clear we was at our new home. Big place, but with lots of buildin’s, grounds, and people. We got took into the basement of the big house where they let us shower, fed us, then put us in this tiny room with no windows, a bare light bulb, and a big old mattress on the floor that was big enough for the three of us. We was exhausted from the trip and just slept. They left the chains on.
The next day they processed us. There was a couple of people in lab whites and one older guy in black uniform who wore glasses. He came up to me. “Name?”
“Beth, suh.”
He looked on his chart, then started in. First he tried to get me mad by makin’ nasty comments, then he both scared and hurt me a little. I said “Ow! You huhtin’ me, suh!” but that was about the extent of my rebellion. Finally they gave us a bunch of shots with this injector gun, took X rays and scanned us with something, then took us in to a hypnoscan, although as Beth I had no idea what it was. It was definitely something Vogel was not supposed to have in this world, that’s for sure. I can’t say what they did with it, but I can guess they was lookin’ for somebody just like I was—a plant. Jamispur must have known his business; I passed. The hypnoscan couldn’t find a trace of Brandy anywhere, nor, apparently, did any of the cosmetic changes show.
Time had no meaning for us, so I don’t know how long we just hung around there, but finally this woman also in black and with real short hair came for us and brought us up to the main floor and took us into a room that was nicer than any of us had ever seen. We got cleaned and scrubbed and then perfumed, and our nails got trimmed and painted, they put on real heavy makeup which was foreign to us, pierced our ears and gave us earrings, even did our hair. We liked it, but we also knew we was about to meet our owner.
In all the plannin’ back at headquarters, the one thing that never entered anybody’s head was that Vogel would see all three of us at the same time. He never allowed nobody else in the Safe Room, that was sure, but three at once wasn’t even considered, yet that’s what happened. It was the first kinda thing Sam had worried about from the start—there were too many things you couldn’t think of. If the number of unexpected and unanticipated things was too high, the thing would go wrong real fast. And we all knew some things would go wrong. That’s why you needed a thinkin’, experienced human being in there and not just some hypno-programmed anybody. My job was to improvise.
We waited around awhile; we was all excited, and Lavinia whispered, “Dis new massa be one big stud to take us all de same time. Don’t y’all fuck up, now. A gal kin git used t’this shit.”
We’d all moved up from tribal to house status, and clearly Lavinia saw visions of makeup and perfume and comfortable living if we all pleased him. It didn’t matter that our chains were still on.
It was fairly late at night when they came for us. That same short-haired bitch in black it was—Vogel’s secretary or aide or whatever. “You listen good, now,” she said coldly. “You are about to be brought up to Gruppenfuehrer Vogel, your owner and master. You behave and perform right and he can be most kind. You nigger farm sluts just do whatever he wants and don’t screw up. If he isn’t pleased, you’ll go to the lab and wish you’d never been born. Now—come.”
We didn’t understand the specifics, but we got the message, and followed her out and up a back stairway—tough in them leg chains—then down a second floor hall past an armed door guard—there was guards all over the place—and into a huge bedroom, the biggest I ever seen anywheres and the most luxurious, too. “Wait here,” said the bitch, and left. We heard the outer bedroom door lock. There was stuff all over—valuable stuff, pretty stuff, even sharp stuff that might be used as a weapon. We didn’t move. This was the last test, apparently.
Finally, a man came out of a far door, dressed in brown pants and shirt and leather boots. He was a big guy, and chunky, but in real good shape, with a rounded face and short brown hair. He had a small thing in his hands that might have been a short whip or riding crop, and he had on a pistol belt and holster with the pistol in it.
He walked up to us and got a queer half smile on his face. Finally he said, in a rather mild and gentle voice, to each of us in turn, “What is your name?”
“Daisy, suh.” “Beth, suh.” “Lavinia, suh.”
“Come on in back with me.”
They said the entrance to the Safe Room was through the bathroom, but they didn’t say that the bathroom was bigger’n most folks livin’ rooms. The door in the back was open inward, but it looked less like a door than a bank vault, and the wall through it was a good eight inches thick.
The Safe Room itself was about the size of an average bedroom, but there was storage in the walls for all sorts of stuff, a desk and chair, and the whole thing was carpeted in a thick, spongy wool. Vogel closed the door with a chunk.
And I slowly returned. It was a weird sensation, like Brandy was being poured from a bucket into the vast empty spaces of Beth’s mind. The setup continued to hold Beth forward, on automatic, but it was almost like I had two minds, and the other one could take control anytime it wanted to. Vogel came over, took off his gun and belt and put it on the desk right in back of me. I knew I could get it before he could react, but I didn’t even consider it. It was one of the first tricks I’d fallen for in trainin’, and I would have bet my life that the gun was totally empty. There was a clip somewheres real near if he needed it, but anybody who made for that gun would just be trapped.
No matter what happened, I didn’t dare make a move till that security light come on, tellin’ me that the diversionary attack had started and that the station was being invaded and secured. This room was a vault, all right; I had a little twinge of worry that the warning light might be burnt out or somethin’.
I also figured Vogel was real kinky, but he wasn’t as near far out as I had been afraid he might be. He wasn’t one of them game-playin’ types, anyways—I guess he did enough of that in real life. He had real clever ways of usin’ all three of us, though, and once he got naked and got started, showed a few things I filed away for reference. He had a real good body, real hairy, too, and a tight ass, and one humongous pecker. I just let Beth have free rein and waited.
The soft white light in the room suddenly changed, blinking a real weird-lookin’ red. He was so turned on and so into it that he didn’t notice at first, but when he came up for air he saw it. I never saw a guy come down that fast, but he just got up, pushin’ us out of the way, and went to the desk, opened a drawer, and got put a handset phone and plugged it into a wall outlet. The girls just kept goin’ on with each other; even I was so turned on at that point it was tough.
Vogel was clearly real pissed at the alarm, and if it had been anything less than it was somebody woulda died on that wall out there. He calmed down the moment he was told, though.
“An attack? Who? Well, try and find out, damn it! Can you hold? I don’t care what weapons they’re using—you hold them! No—I’ll wait it out here, but I’ll keep the line plugged in. You give me two short buzzes if they breach the wall, one long if you want me to pick up the phone. Have all emergency procedures in full effect as of now!” He put down the phone and turned back to us. “Sorry, loves, but we have a problem. Don’t worry—we’ll get back to our business, I promise. Now I need you. Get up and help me move this desk.”
We didn’t feel none too much like work but we got up and helped him pull the desk away. It was pretty easy—the thing was not that heavy—but his kind didn’t do no work when he had other folks to do it for him.
We pulled up the carpet where the desk had been and there was a door there with a kind of combination lock built into it, like a safe. The emergency tunnel! We didn’t know about the lock, but I wasn’t gonna make no move till he twiddled it and then threw the switch and pulled the thing open. A long, deep, black hole was all there was.
I really thought that maybe we was gonna luck out on this, that he was gonna go down and right into the arms of the station people without me doin’ nothin’, but clearly he wasn’t gonna move right off.
The phone gave a long buzz and he picked it up.
“Yes? All right, then. Best I stay right here for now. The station’s on? Good—what? Well keep trying the station, man! I don’t like the smell of this!”
Uh oh. They had some feelin’ that the station had been taken. It probably wouldn’t enter their heads in plannin’ that it could be, but if they tried to call somebody there and either got a strange voice or no answer they’d be suspicious, what with an attack at the front.
Vogel was still naked, but he got his pistol, then reached behind a panel, got a clip, and snapped it into place. I’d guessed right.
I hadn’t been able to shoot my little jet of joy juice into him; he had gave me the lower end in our sex play. Now there seemed no way to give him the kiss; it would have to be the hard way.
I moved real fast, pushin’ him off balance and then usin’ my knee and then put his head between my arms and used the chain as a choker. He twisted me off, but then he grabbed me by the shoulders and while the leg chain made karate useless I brought up my knee with full force and caught his exposed jewels right on the balls. He screamed and let go of me and doubled over, droppin’ the pistol in his pain. I got him real good, too, ’cause I had the gun and even had time to make sure I had a shell in the chamber before he was able to come out of it and figure what happened.
The other two girls looked at the whole thing with real shock and horror on their faces, but they just pressed back against the wall.
“Who the hell are you?” Vogel gasped.
“You know who I’m with,” I replied, keepin’ the Beth accent and grammar since it was lousy English but I could say it clear. “The Company want you. You be one baaad boy!”
He recovered enough to stand, shakily, and look bewildered. “The Company! It would have to be, but—why?”
“It seem you make lots of dem bigwigs scared with dat drug thing you got.”
I got to say he really did look surprised. I’d have loved to have gotten more, but the clock was tickin’ and the bomb was under my feet. I gestured with the pistol. “ ’Nuff. Git on down the hole. You can ’splain it yo’self.”
He looked a little cagey, and I got to admit I was feelin’ a little good right then at it bein’ easier than most of the practices. I was right behind him, when suddenly I got hit hard right on the head. It was so unexpected I took a tumble, got tripped up by the leg chains, and fell. Vogel didn’t waste no time; he was on me in a second and just about tore that gun from my grip. I got up, still feelin’ dizzy and confused, and looked around. That damned muscle-headed Lavinia had hit me over the head with the desk chair!
Vogel was back to himself now. “Not a move!” he cautioned me. “I never had to get dressed one-handed before but I’ll manage, and I’ll blow your brains out if you so much as twitch!”
I rolled over and looked at Lavinia. “You dumb nigger bitch!” I swore. I’d’a killed her with my own hands then if I could. She looked so damned smug and proud of herself.
“Don’t blame her,” Vogel said, not givin’ me enough of an openin’ to do anything. He got shirt, pants, and boots on real slow and careful. “She doesn’t know who or what you are except that you were my enemy. You see, even though we’ve just met, I’m the only one she’s got.”
I was mad both at her and at myself. Lavinia was bein’ promoted from field to house in the only life she knew. She’d said she could get used to perfume and lipstick and comfortable beds, and she had no idea that there was any alternative—nor had I time to explain to somebody like that the reality of things. Even if she could understand it, she wouldn’t believe it. Vogel kicked the trapdoor shut and then moved to the main door, opening it. He pointed the gun at me.
“I wish I had time to find out all the details, or even put you through the hypnoscan now, but I don’t. I gather your friends are causing all this ruckus to divert attention from you, and that they’ve captured the station.”
“Give it up, man!” I told him. “Dey gon’ blow dis joint if’n I show or not. Dey wan’ you live, but dey git you dead if’n dey hav’ta.”
“I thought so. The fact is, I don’t know if you’re what you say you are, and I don’t know if I’m being set up or not, but until I can sort this out I’m not going to surrender to anyone, particularly not to some nigger bitch or on her say-so. Get up!
I made it to my feet, though I felt achy. Gettin’ hit by a chair ain’t the small thing you see on TV.
He turned to the two others. “You two remain here until someone comes. I won’t forget this, Lavinia, I promise. Make yourselves at home in the bedroom. Use and enjoy anything you find.”
Yeah, for a few minutes, until the joint blows, I thought sourly, but nobody was gonna listen to me.
“Now you listen to me,” he said to be with a real cold tone that could freeze blood. “I saw your moves, I know what you can do, but you don’t try anything. Once we’re outside here, you’ll be observed by security and guards. Even if you somehow overpower me, and I’m ready for you now, you will only get cut down by others. You cannot reach your friends and they cannot reach you. If you want to live, you’ll do just what I say.”
He had a point, and if he was leavin’ the place I sure wanted out, too. Once we was out of the buildin’, it would be up to Sam and the rest to get me out. I was ready to do my part, but suicide wasn’t it. We was now on Plan B. Not so good and a lot riskier, but the object was to get him out of his safe and guarded place where he could get took.
We went into the hall, and some of the sentries had their eyebrows raised by seein’ me marched out at gunpoint, but they snapped to. “Ready the drome!” he called to one, then said to the other, “You have the key for these things. Give it here and watch her. She’s a bitch!”
The sentry produced a small key, and Vogel took the time to unlock the hand manacles on one side and then hook ’em back around so that my hands were now chained behind my back. Then he pushed me forward, gun at the ready, to some stairs and then, to my surprise, up not one but two flights. A dome shape was goin’ back with a lot of noise above us, and I could see we was in open air, on the roof, and there was a small, funny-lookin’ helicopter there. That wasn’t in no briefin’ books!
He opened a door, pushed me into one seat, then got in on the other and started the thing. It started with a quiet whine, then a big roar as the blades got to speed. It was some kind of jet helicopter but different than any I’d seen. All the instruments was in German.
We went up a little, then he pushed somethin’ and pulled back and we went straight up so fast I felt like the breath was bein’ knocked out of me. When he cut it and hovered, we was so far up that you could see the whole compound down there. There was still some fightin’ on two sides, and all sorts of runnin’ around, and it was all lit up like a Christmas tree.
Vogel started the chopper forward, slow at first, like he was waitin’ for somethin’. What it was was a tremendous set of explosions that made the whole place down there look like World War III. Buildings, includin’ the big manor house, just blew apart like they was toys. The station blew, too, in one hell of a blast that also seemed to trigger a whole bunch of funny blue-white lights, like a solid Labyrinth cube. The station shimmered, then just—winked out. Just like that. There was nothin’ left of it but one monster hole in the ground.
Sam was supposed to be on the B team, the Just In Case team, so I could only hope and pray he still was and hadn’t decided at the last minute to meet me in the station.
Vogel gave a satisfied laugh, then pushed us forward at maximum speed into the night sky.

“What now?” I asked Vogel as we sped into the night sky.
“I am the stationmaster for this world,” he replied. “No one knows the setup here, the weak points, the Labyrinth accesses and modifications like I do. I have enough knowledge of the security system and its goals to get through safely if I pick the right access track and don’t go through a switch. We don’t have far to go once inside. There I can take stock of things, with enough equipment to discover what I must know and perhaps make contact with others.”
“You ’spect me to just sit ’round all dat time?”
He chuckled. “My dear, are you that naive? You are on a mission into an alternate world and you have failed in your objective and you have failed to elude capture. Surely you realize that they cannot allow this. You know too much, and you might be of value to someone against their interests. Everyone can be broken. Everyone. Were I, however, to try to break you or subject you to physical, mental, or artificially induced interrogation, it would be automatic. You would be blocked out, the process reversed, and you would again be only poor, sweet Beth, my willing, eager, and appallingly dumb slave. I couldn’t even bring you back with hypnoscan and the best equipment.”
It wasn’t no bed of roses in that little chopper naked and in chains, but I got a real sick feelin’ when he said that so confident and smug, ’cause I knew deep down in my gut he was tellin’ the truth.
“Don’t let that worry you,” he said smoothly. “In fact, if I had to flee, they gave me a perfect tool and assistant. You will be a great help to me. It will be amusing to watch it happen more slowly. Beth, all of her, is still inside you, whole and complete. Your willpower keeps her down now, but the more tired you get and the more you sleep the more she will merge with you. Those are powerful programs, and very complete, since they have to fool even the devices that create them. It’s still for their protection—at your expense.” He laughed, but suddenly got real cold and crazy. “You listen to me, bitch! You are my property! I own you! What sanity you have depends on me. If I put this down and let you go right now, you would become Beth instantly in this world, a world where power is everything and your skin alone marks you as having none.”
I figured he was tryin’ to scare me, and he was doin’ a pretty good job. He was sure right that I wouldn’t last long in these parts alone. He was also right in that all of Beth was still in my head, and I almost had to fight her to keep from actin’ like her. The only chance I had now was Sam and Bill and that crowd. I knew they was coverin’ the most likely substations, and they also said that somehow they could track me—but that was no sure thing, if we got away clean before they knew it. That was some takeoff and nobody figured on this chopper. What if they thought we was both dead? That scared me the most, ’cause that left me as Vogel’s slave forever.
I dozed off after a while; I couldn’t help it. I was dead tired and there wasn’t much more to say. Trouble was, I dreamed, and I didn’t dream Brandy’s dreams. I started to, but they were all made up of my fears and I ran from ’em—into Beth. Those were simple, pleasant, secure dreams, of lots of sex and no worries or cares or responsibilities.
The helicopter landed, wakin’ me up, but I just lay there, half asleep, not really awake. It was daylight now and the sun was shinin’ and it looked like a pretty day. My arms hurt and I couldn’t remember why. Chained in back . . . I must be bein’ punished for somethin’, but what?
Vogel came back and got in and looked at me carefully. “Beth?” he asked.
“Yessuh?”
“Now, listen close. You got a demon inside you, a real bad one that wants to hurt you and me and everybody. You can feel it in your head. I bet it’s trying to get in right now.”
And it was. I felt it, comin’ in like a mass of mud.
“You can fight it, Beth. Don’t let it in! You must fight it with everything you have! You will fight it. You will not let it in!”
But Beth couldn’t really fight it, the knowledge and understanding, and I was more or less back in control, but shaken. Vogel saw this, but didn’t seem terribly upset. “You ought not to fight it,” he said. “It is inevitable. Here—I will prove it.”
He got me out of the helicopter and then undid my arm bracelets and chains. The relief was enormous, almost orgasmic, both the ultimate pleasure and pain at the same time.
We was in a grassy meadow and there was cows in the distance, but the sun was fairly warm and the air humid and it felt okay after that gray chill.
“There’s a farm just two kilometers that way,” he told me, “and a town another two beyond that. You want to get away, just go ahead. I won’t stop you or shoot you. Go to the farm and see what reception you get. Go to the town and see what happens. Or, perhaps, go wild in the fields here and try and live on what garbage you can steal until you’re caught. Go ahead.”
I looked around. “You made yo’ point,” I told him, and actually for the first time I could at least understand the poor, late Lavinia. Even slaves in the old south had a place they might run to, if they had the guts and the energy, up north. Not here. Not anywhere. Latin America, maybe, but I didn’t know enough about the rest of this world to know for sure or how far down. And them old runaways, they didn’t have to fight no Beth every time they got tired or slept. Even if all the shackles were off, there was just no place to run. Hell, I didn’t even have any idea where in hell we was!
He unpacked a basket that had sandwiches and a jug of what proved to be cider and gave me some. There was enough Beth in me to find the meat in the sandwiches unappetizing and the cider pretty bad tastin’, but I managed. After, he told me to pick up all the stuff and repack the basket and put it in the chopper and I did. There wasn’t anything else to do but play along. It was all out of my hands now and I knew it. I’d just have to be good.
But I sure would like to get Vogel someday in a world where the black people were on top. There were some—I asked once.
Vogel surprised me by also removin’ my leg chains. Not bad treatment for somebody who’d kicked him in the balls and cost him his empire.
“A final demonstration,” he said, enjoyin’ it. “I need some sleep, and the men with the gasoline can’t be here for a few hours. Since I still can’t be certain you won’t try to grab my pistol and overpower me, I will lock myself in the cabin. Unfortunately, that means you remain outside. Go where you will, but not out of sight, please. Almost anyone who found you around here would be far less kind than I, and you would lose any hope that your friends could find us.” And, with that, he climbed into the cabin and locked both doors and settled in.
This, I decided, was the nuttiest situation I could imagine. I was stark naked in some cow pasture, and I was free and my kidnapper had locked himself in to protect himself from me.
As a demonstration, though, it beat all the lectures in the world.
There was no way I was gonna live in no cow pasture, and trees and hills of any size was few and far between here. Last thing I wanted to be was a slave to a bunch of farmhands, and the town would have the usual Nazi everything. I sure wasn’t about to kill myself so long as there was any hope of bein’ rescued, but I thought I might do it if it was this for life or death. So I just moved out a little into the warm sun and sat down in the grass and waited.
The gas truck came a couple of hours later, driven by two typical cracker types. I pounded on the door and woke up Vogel and he got up and came out. The two drivers just stared at me and I thought at first it was because I was naked, but then I realized they probably never saw a black person before in their lives.
Vogel noticed it, too, and enjoyed every minute of it. “You want to feel her up a little? Go ahead. She likes it.” He took a manacle with chain and held it sorta like a whip. “She won’t do nothin’, will you, Beth?”
I hated his guts but the only protest I could manage in this situation was to not reply. It was a horrible situation, almost but not quite a rape, but just as degrading and humiliating, and I flipped out. Brandy shut off and Beth took over, as Vogel figured would happen. The only thing Beth had was her body; her skin limited anything she might want to do or anyplace she might want to go, and any mind was a liability. She wound up givin’ both of ’em blow jobs and enjoyin’ every minute of it. That’s how Vogel paid most of the gas bill.
We was in the air when I managed to creep back into control, and now I knew what havin’ a split personality was like. I was so completely disgusted and humiliated that I was on the edge of just givin’ up and lettin’ Beth take over. The only thing that stopped me was that I knew I was this man’s and this world’s prisoner, but I was damn well not his property or slave. It was the only part of me I could still control, and I had too much pride and too much hate for him to let him have that, too.
It was clear Vogel felt he wasn’t bein’ chased—they’d have caught up to us by now—and he was in no real hurry. If he’d made a run for the stations closest to his Pennsylvania retreat, they’d have nabbed him, but if two, three, or more days went by with no sign, and even in this tight dictatorship no records comin’ back to their contacts, they’d slack off. They had to. The way both the headquarters people’ and Vogel talked, it would take hundreds of folks to stake out all the possibilities. They could spare that many for a day or two, but not for real long.
I wanted Sam, bad. I needed him. More, I needed just to know that he was still alive. That had been one hell of a bang, and I don’t think they was the ones who triggered it.
Turned out, too, that Vogel wasn’t out of the woods, neither, ’cause he didn’t dare use much of his influence for anything that might get his location reported back to someplace where it could be noted by our people. He did, however, have money. That helicopter was outfitted partly as a permanent getaway car, complete with fake and convincin’ Nazi IDs and a fair amount of money. He just got a charge out of using me instead when he could. Still, he couldn’t keep outta notice and with farms and real small towns forever; he was gettin’ nervous ’bout his own people here now. Three days after we set out, he made for this real hot, dry, dusty desert place with big, tall, purple mountains in the distance. There musta been mining there sometime long ago, ’cause on the desert floor but up against the mountains there was this tiny, broke-down ghost town. Not much, about a half dozen buildin’s that looked worse than any slum.
He picked the place well. Nobody, not even no roads, around for a hundred miles, a hot baked nothin’ of a place, but with a kind of sandy ground that showed every track around. Ain’t nobody been ’round that place in a long time, I thought. He’s gonna get away with it! I thought in somethin’ of a panic. That fucking son of a bitch is gonna do it, and take me with him! I knew where he was headin’—sorta. There was all sorts of time lines in which people just never developed at all, or anything else, for that matter, that could think. Some of ’em was right in the middle of otherwise populated worlds, and some had been rigged up by bigwigs both in the Corporation and by traitors to it as safe worlds.
Vogel no longer even worried about me, even when I wasn’t Beth. Truth was, even though I had my full knowledge and identity, most times, more and more I just was actin’ and thinkin’ like Beth ’cause it didn’t do no good to fight. The longer we kept from bein’ caught by anybody, the harder it was to fight it. My last hope, the shit still in that tooth compartment, was dashed ’cause whenever I was under that kind of sexual thing Beth took over. It might as well not be there.
Vogel left me there while he checked out the buildings, bein’ as cautious and sure as he could. He came back and pointed. “There’s a trail up to an old mine there. Get the supply basket, particularly the water, and come with me.”
I got it, although it was heavy and a little awkward.
That trail wasn’t much these days, particularly for bare feet and carryin’ that basket, but I kept up with him. It was a long way up from the town and hot and dry as could be, and Vogel stopped every once in a while and had me bring him a bottle to drink. He didn’t give me none ’though I was dry as hell, and I was so far gone by that point it never even occurred to me to take a drink without permission. It wasn’t until we was halfway there that he let me have the last half of a warm beer he was drinkin’. It was a strong brew on a mostly empty stomach on a hot day and I got feelin’ a little high from it.
We was high, too. Lookin’ down the helicopter was far enough below that it was blurry to me, and everything beyond was too blurred to see. On top of everything else, my vision treatments was wearin’ off fast and I was goin’ back to bein’ legally blind without no glasses. We finally reached the ledge where the mine entrance was—more broke-down timbers and an old musty hole—and he let me have another beer and he had the last one.
“I put in this substation myself several years ago. Just me and three others, none of whom lived to tell of its existence,” Vogel said. “It’s a known weak spot, but the Company ignored it because it was clearly inside a mountain. They didn’t know about this mine.”
I giggled, feelin’ pretty drunk on only one and a half beers. “Dat damn thecurity juth as fulla holes as always was,” I muttered, more to myself than to Vogel. “But if you on the squah wit’ th’ Comp’ny, den why you build dis at all?”
“A good question, so I’ll answer it. Graft, mostly. Most stationmasters need a little just to do their jobs. That hypnoscan, for example, was wonderful for insuring loyalty and changing minds, but it’s illegal here. Places like this make getting that kind of thing possible. I haven’t had to use it in years, though. There are better methods. It’s handy now.”
He got up. “Stand up and stick close to me. Get me the flashlight out of the basket and hand it to me. We’re going to leave this burning hellhole.”
I got up and followed him into the mine. It was dirty and dingy but almost immediately it was cooler. The flashlight lit up the place, but it was still bad lookin’. It went in and then curved around and down a bit. Some of them rafters was real old, and every once in a while some dirt and stuff would come down on or around us.
There was an old iron gate at the end of it, with a thick, rusted lock on it. Vogel didn’t have the key, but he didn’t need it. With my help the whole gate came free, lock, door, and all, and we put it to one side. Beyond that was a bunch of machinery, painted black so it didn’t show, and Vogel turned it on. Just beyond in the tunnel, there was a sound like an electric motor whine, then a pulsing, and then he threw another set of switches and the Labyrinth line appeared, then did its usual thing of dividin’ and dividin’ again.
For a minute I had a thought. Once in there, I had a place to run—anyplace but out into one of the other worlds. Just to a switch point. He wouldn’t dare follow but so far. ’Course, he had the gun, but I still figured it was worth the chance. Vogel, unfortunately, had the same idea.
He grabbed the basket, moved some stuff, and came up with the arm and leg chains. My hopes sank. No way I was gonna dodge bullets wearin’ those. If I’d’a known he put them in there, or had my full wits in me, I’d’a chucked them things.
He turned to me, his back to the Labyrinth, and turned me around and pulled my hands behind me. He fixed the chains, then turned—and looked straight into two mean-lookin’ guys with big, fancy guns.
He turned back and saw two more guys with guns blockin’ our way back out again. He grabbed me and put me in front of him, back against the wall, pistol out. This was one tough dude.
“Stay back or she’s dead!” he shouted. “You let me through and I’ll give her back to you!”
“You’re in no position to deal, Vogel,” said one of the men who had to have come in through the Labyrinth. “The idea was to get you. It was her job, too, and in a way she did the job anyway. Kill her and you have no leverage. Shoot any of us and we’ll have to try and shoot you even if it’s right through her.”
“Oh, great,” I muttered. He had one hand on his pistol, the other wrapped around the chain holding my hands in back of me. Freak-out Beth was nowhere around now. She couldn’t handle this kinda situation. Me, it took two seconds to figure the odds—either we’d be there a long time, or Vogel would shoot and take his chances. He wasn’t the type to surrender peacefully or they wouldn’t’a needed me in the first place.
Using all my muscle power, I twisted my body and fell to the stone floor. Vogel, his hand wrapped in the chain, had no choice but to fall with me. His gun went off, and the shot ricocheted all over the place, but if it hit anybody it wasn’t clear. They was on him in a minute, tossin’ the gun away and haulin’ him up back to his feet none too gentle. One of the men from in back, the entrance side, ran forward to me.
“Brandy! My God! You all right?”
“Tham!” I managed, and then we was huggin’ and kissin’ and both of us was cryin’. One of the men found the key to the chains and gave it to Sam, who undid them and handed them over. The leg chains got put on Vogel; they had plain old handcuffs for his hands.
“How did you—?” I managed.
“We didn’t foresee this kind of getaway,” he told me, “but we still had the monitor on to your encoder so we could tell when you went into the Safe Room and start the show. All of a sudden the thing went nuts, and we got a reading of straight up and over. We got everybody back and radioed the men in the station to get back in the Labyrinth. Most of them made it. We followed you by land for a while but it wasn’t possible, and by the time we got something in the air you were out of range. We’ve been going nuts trying to find you ever since.”
He helped me up. I was still shaky and I knew I was gonna have a bunch of bruises. “Den how did—dis place . . . ?”
“Every world where the Company has a station they have satellites to monitor communications and general conditions. Back home, ours can read a newspaper. Theirs can find all the encoded people and give a fix. He led a real zigzag route over two thirds of the country and he was real clever about it, but when we got two fixes on this spot we knew he had to be heading here, even though we didn’t have it down as a possible. He couldn’t use Oregon or Mendocino, the only other two possibilities over here, because we had them covered. It had to be here. We got here about an hour before you did—close—but time enough to radio back to Bill in Oregon and have him monitor the weak point on the Labyrinth side while Sergei and I staked this place out.”
“Den why didn’t you take him when we git heah?”
“First, we wanted him—and you—alive. This was the least risky. And we didn’t really know where the substation was until we followed you up. We figured the tunnel was the best bet. You saw how he was even in here. Figure the odds if we’d tried to take him in the open.”
It made sense. “Den—it’s ovah? I kin get back to tawkin’ normal?”
“It’s over, babe. Let’s go back to the doc and then home and collect. I figure they owe us a cool five million smackers. Haji—lead the way! We want out!
Bye-bye Beth. It’s for your own good, too.
The two men from the Labyrinth side led the way, with Sergei and Sam and me bringin’ up the rear and a very sour-lookin’ Vogel in the middle. It felt real good to see him in chains. A coupla times we passed windows out to worlds that looked right for him and I half expected him to make a break for it, but he didn’t.
We made a coupla switch points on the way back to headquarters and I was feelin’ good. Fact was, the man had been right—they got Vogel ’cause Vogel had me. The crazy thing was, if I had made any kinda break for it, or if he’d dumped me and gone it alone, he might just have made it out. He was just so damned arrogant that he was gonna break this uppity nigress that he never thought of this kind of trackin’.
We was in the main line now, almost home. Most of the world pictures mirrored to us looked a lot like headquarters.
They hit us first with a concussion grenade that knocked everybody silly, then came at us from the sides and top. I don’t know how many there were, I was feelin’ so groggy from the concussion, but I looked up and saw bodies everywhere and the flashes of guns we couldn’t hear but could kill just the same. The concussion grenade didn’t make no noise, neither, but it was like a big fist knockin’ us flat.
There were six of them—I got the sense of both men and women, all dressed in black and hooded and with firearms. Our people managed to get two of ’em, but the others looked around and started firin’ at random into just about everybody. I saw the whole thing like it was slow motion; I saw Sam jump as one of the black-masked killers brought his gun around on me and jump the guy from the front. I saw the flash and then saw part of Sam’s head explode in blood and he was knocked down right on top of me. I guess they figured they got me, too, ’cause they lit out on the run to the next cubes and out of my sight.
Sam was a bloody mess and he looked as dead as the others, but I thought I saw some signs of life there. There was a switching cube just three back and I figured the best thing I could do to save what lives there was to save was to make it back there and get help on the double.
We wondered how the big man was gonna take Vogel out, and now we knew. It made perfect sense in 20-20 hindsight. Vogel was to be hauled to headquarters. They knew just where in the Labyrinth he’d have to pass, and, most of all, they knew it was us just twenty minutes or so after we nabbed him. I didn’t think of anything like that right then, just Sam.
The last thing I expected out of this was for me to be the survivor.



THE SHADOW DANCERS

4. You Can’t Think of Everything

I ain’t too clear on what came next. Oh, sure, I remember it, but not like it was real. More like a dream, you know? That’s ’cause I was her, and she didn’t think about much. It’s only when I think back on it with what I know as myself that I can put it into any kinda picture that makes sense.
I woke up in a kinda dingy, smelly dormitory. It didn’t have much in the way of lights and none in the way of privacy, but it had like twenty naked girls sleepin’ on cots. Down at the end there was a long basin and a row of open toilets. It looked and felt perfectly normal. This was my tribe and these were my sisters. The hard part for even me to get into now is that I had no sense of personal identity, of self, at all. I had a name all right—Beth it was—but there was no sense of bein’ a particular person named Beth.
We got up, took our shits in turn, walked under these open showers and wiped each other with hard soap, dried each other off with towels, and combed each other’s hair with carved wood combs. The showers were cold and while there was a lot of noise there wasn’t much said. We could talk, all right, in a kind of strict pidgin southern that made a lot of uses out of few words, but there wasn’t no need.
Then we went out, naked, on a cool gray day, and we did exercises and ran around this dirt track like schoolgirls at play. Some white folks watched us from off a ways but we didn’t pay ’em no mind. Then we all went into this other building where there was tables and benches on which were dishes and let the sisters who’d gotten up early serve us. I can’t tell you what the food was; you drank this thick, real sweet drink and you ate these different kinds of cakes. Lookin’ back I figure it was some kinda cheap health food, full of vitamins and minerals and stuff.
Then we all pitched in to clean up, makin’ that place not just clean but spotless. Then it was back to the exercises and the track again, only this time it was more playful and less organized. All this with no boss, no supervisor, not even any orders.
This day would be different, though. In late morning, a black truck pulled up at the big farmhouse off in the distance and after a while two black-clad storm troopers armed with pistols came over to us and we stopped and waited, curious but not afraid. White folks were afraid of these kind of men; to us they were just more white folks. With them was Jenner, one of the supervisors at the farm. He pointed, then drawled out, “All right, you girls! Listen up, now! I’m gonna call out three names. If you hear your name, then you go in and you shower and then you come back out to us. The rest of you just keep on with whatever you was doing.”
I was just as shocked and scared when they called Beth as if I were really Beth—which I thought I was. Still, I went with Daisy and Lavinia and took the shower and then reported back. We didn’t say nothin’ to each other—we was all too scared and confused for that. The black-clad men looked us over like we was horses or somethin’, then Jenner said, “You all been sold to a man up north. You go with these men and follow their orders.”
That was it; no good-byes, no nothin’—just go on, get in the back of the truck, and off. Well—not quite. When we got to the truck the men put chains on us. They didn’t feel heavy, so I guess they were some kind of strong new metal—they felt like aluminum but were hard as steel. They cuffed us hands in front, with about a foot’s worth of chain between, and they cuffed our legs with maybe two feet of chain between. I don’t know why they chained us—where was we gonna go?—but they did, then loaded us into the truck, which was a kinda pickup truck with one of them caps on the back. It wasn’t no camper, though; it was heated but you just sorta sat on the floor and that was it. There was a coupla boxes in there, too, but we didn’t dare open ’em. Crazy thing was, I got a little thrill, even got a little turned on, by wearin’ the chains.
Once we started off, though, we all got to cryin’ a little. It was like bein’ torn from the only family and world we knew.
After a while, though, Lavinia kinda took charge. She was more aggressive than we was. She even went to the little window and looked out, and after a while we did, too.
The impressions of the trip are just that—impressions. The highways looked real fancy, like our interstates, and had a lot of little cars on ’em. We went through a city, I don’t know which, and it looked real ugly, all sterile gray with block after block of tall, dirty buildin’s and lots of even uglier industry belchin’ smoke into the gray day. Most of the people we saw moved like they was always tired, dressed in plain clothes. Clearly the white folks here didn’t have much fun, neither. The good life, if it existed at all, was for the big shots.
And that, maybe, was the craziest thing of all. The more we saw of that white world, the less we wanted of it. We had no responsibilities, little work, no cares. Nobody would want to escape into that world. Even bein’ wrenched and sold we were still secure and safe. No decisions, no responsibilities. It’s scary to me to think that people can be brought up and conditioned to think that way, even now. Still and all, it was that world that did it, partly. It was a gray world filled with people with gray souls; a world without hope. They was all property, all slaves, white and black. The only difference was, nobody expected nothin’ from us.
They stopped the truck off and on, to stretch their legs and ours. They had one of them porta-potties for us and the boxes had cold, hard versions of the cakes and sweet stuff they’d fed us back at the farm and a jug of water. That was all for us. Every once in a while they’d stop the truck someplace and get out, sometimes for quite a while, just leavin’ us inside, while they ate or whatever. They were pretty ordinary-lookin’ white men ’cept for their fancy uniforms and shiny boots, but we’d flaunt it a little for ’em.
“Tempted to take ’em all on, Pete?” the one asked. “They might be too much for you.”
Nigresses? You got to be kiddin’. I ain’t that hard up. Why? You tempted?”
“Yeah, sorta.”
“Well, forget it. Vogel’ll run ’em through every test in the world. You know the rules. He gets ’em first. Don’t trust no real women not to cut his balls off.”
“Aw, what’s he care? These ain’t virgins. Look at ’em.”
“Well, you do what you want, but the last guy who did that wound up dangling from a meat hook on the walls.”
They didn’t, although truth was we wouldn’t have minded. Oh, they did a little fanny pattin’ and tit grabbin’ now and again, but overall they probably treated us better than they did their own kind. They even hauled out some old blankets when the chill got greater so we could wrap ’em around ourselves.
Fact was, the three of us did a lot of it in the back, there. It seemed normal and natural to make out, it felt good, and helped pass the time.
Eventually we got there, not over highways but back country mountain roads. We didn’t really see the place till we was inside it, but when we got there and the door opened it was clear we was at our new home. Big place, but with lots of buildin’s, grounds, and people. We got took into the basement of the big house where they let us shower, fed us, then put us in this tiny room with no windows, a bare light bulb, and a big old mattress on the floor that was big enough for the three of us. We was exhausted from the trip and just slept. They left the chains on.
The next day they processed us. There was a couple of people in lab whites and one older guy in black uniform who wore glasses. He came up to me. “Name?”
“Beth, suh.”
He looked on his chart, then started in. First he tried to get me mad by makin’ nasty comments, then he both scared and hurt me a little. I said “Ow! You huhtin’ me, suh!” but that was about the extent of my rebellion. Finally they gave us a bunch of shots with this injector gun, took X rays and scanned us with something, then took us in to a hypnoscan, although as Beth I had no idea what it was. It was definitely something Vogel was not supposed to have in this world, that’s for sure. I can’t say what they did with it, but I can guess they was lookin’ for somebody just like I was—a plant. Jamispur must have known his business; I passed. The hypnoscan couldn’t find a trace of Brandy anywhere, nor, apparently, did any of the cosmetic changes show.
Time had no meaning for us, so I don’t know how long we just hung around there, but finally this woman also in black and with real short hair came for us and brought us up to the main floor and took us into a room that was nicer than any of us had ever seen. We got cleaned and scrubbed and then perfumed, and our nails got trimmed and painted, they put on real heavy makeup which was foreign to us, pierced our ears and gave us earrings, even did our hair. We liked it, but we also knew we was about to meet our owner.
In all the plannin’ back at headquarters, the one thing that never entered anybody’s head was that Vogel would see all three of us at the same time. He never allowed nobody else in the Safe Room, that was sure, but three at once wasn’t even considered, yet that’s what happened. It was the first kinda thing Sam had worried about from the start—there were too many things you couldn’t think of. If the number of unexpected and unanticipated things was too high, the thing would go wrong real fast. And we all knew some things would go wrong. That’s why you needed a thinkin’, experienced human being in there and not just some hypno-programmed anybody. My job was to improvise.
We waited around awhile; we was all excited, and Lavinia whispered, “Dis new massa be one big stud to take us all de same time. Don’t y’all fuck up, now. A gal kin git used t’this shit.”
We’d all moved up from tribal to house status, and clearly Lavinia saw visions of makeup and perfume and comfortable living if we all pleased him. It didn’t matter that our chains were still on.
It was fairly late at night when they came for us. That same short-haired bitch in black it was—Vogel’s secretary or aide or whatever. “You listen good, now,” she said coldly. “You are about to be brought up to Gruppenfuehrer Vogel, your owner and master. You behave and perform right and he can be most kind. You nigger farm sluts just do whatever he wants and don’t screw up. If he isn’t pleased, you’ll go to the lab and wish you’d never been born. Now—come.”
We didn’t understand the specifics, but we got the message, and followed her out and up a back stairway—tough in them leg chains—then down a second floor hall past an armed door guard—there was guards all over the place—and into a huge bedroom, the biggest I ever seen anywheres and the most luxurious, too. “Wait here,” said the bitch, and left. We heard the outer bedroom door lock. There was stuff all over—valuable stuff, pretty stuff, even sharp stuff that might be used as a weapon. We didn’t move. This was the last test, apparently.
Finally, a man came out of a far door, dressed in brown pants and shirt and leather boots. He was a big guy, and chunky, but in real good shape, with a rounded face and short brown hair. He had a small thing in his hands that might have been a short whip or riding crop, and he had on a pistol belt and holster with the pistol in it.
He walked up to us and got a queer half smile on his face. Finally he said, in a rather mild and gentle voice, to each of us in turn, “What is your name?”
“Daisy, suh.” “Beth, suh.” “Lavinia, suh.”
“Come on in back with me.”
They said the entrance to the Safe Room was through the bathroom, but they didn’t say that the bathroom was bigger’n most folks livin’ rooms. The door in the back was open inward, but it looked less like a door than a bank vault, and the wall through it was a good eight inches thick.
The Safe Room itself was about the size of an average bedroom, but there was storage in the walls for all sorts of stuff, a desk and chair, and the whole thing was carpeted in a thick, spongy wool. Vogel closed the door with a chunk.
And I slowly returned. It was a weird sensation, like Brandy was being poured from a bucket into the vast empty spaces of Beth’s mind. The setup continued to hold Beth forward, on automatic, but it was almost like I had two minds, and the other one could take control anytime it wanted to. Vogel came over, took off his gun and belt and put it on the desk right in back of me. I knew I could get it before he could react, but I didn’t even consider it. It was one of the first tricks I’d fallen for in trainin’, and I would have bet my life that the gun was totally empty. There was a clip somewheres real near if he needed it, but anybody who made for that gun would just be trapped.
No matter what happened, I didn’t dare make a move till that security light come on, tellin’ me that the diversionary attack had started and that the station was being invaded and secured. This room was a vault, all right; I had a little twinge of worry that the warning light might be burnt out or somethin’.
I also figured Vogel was real kinky, but he wasn’t as near far out as I had been afraid he might be. He wasn’t one of them game-playin’ types, anyways—I guess he did enough of that in real life. He had real clever ways of usin’ all three of us, though, and once he got naked and got started, showed a few things I filed away for reference. He had a real good body, real hairy, too, and a tight ass, and one humongous pecker. I just let Beth have free rein and waited.
The soft white light in the room suddenly changed, blinking a real weird-lookin’ red. He was so turned on and so into it that he didn’t notice at first, but when he came up for air he saw it. I never saw a guy come down that fast, but he just got up, pushin’ us out of the way, and went to the desk, opened a drawer, and got put a handset phone and plugged it into a wall outlet. The girls just kept goin’ on with each other; even I was so turned on at that point it was tough.
Vogel was clearly real pissed at the alarm, and if it had been anything less than it was somebody woulda died on that wall out there. He calmed down the moment he was told, though.
“An attack? Who? Well, try and find out, damn it! Can you hold? I don’t care what weapons they’re using—you hold them! No—I’ll wait it out here, but I’ll keep the line plugged in. You give me two short buzzes if they breach the wall, one long if you want me to pick up the phone. Have all emergency procedures in full effect as of now!” He put down the phone and turned back to us. “Sorry, loves, but we have a problem. Don’t worry—we’ll get back to our business, I promise. Now I need you. Get up and help me move this desk.”
We didn’t feel none too much like work but we got up and helped him pull the desk away. It was pretty easy—the thing was not that heavy—but his kind didn’t do no work when he had other folks to do it for him.
We pulled up the carpet where the desk had been and there was a door there with a kind of combination lock built into it, like a safe. The emergency tunnel! We didn’t know about the lock, but I wasn’t gonna make no move till he twiddled it and then threw the switch and pulled the thing open. A long, deep, black hole was all there was.
I really thought that maybe we was gonna luck out on this, that he was gonna go down and right into the arms of the station people without me doin’ nothin’, but clearly he wasn’t gonna move right off.
The phone gave a long buzz and he picked it up.
“Yes? All right, then. Best I stay right here for now. The station’s on? Good—what? Well keep trying the station, man! I don’t like the smell of this!”
Uh oh. They had some feelin’ that the station had been taken. It probably wouldn’t enter their heads in plannin’ that it could be, but if they tried to call somebody there and either got a strange voice or no answer they’d be suspicious, what with an attack at the front.
Vogel was still naked, but he got his pistol, then reached behind a panel, got a clip, and snapped it into place. I’d guessed right.
I hadn’t been able to shoot my little jet of joy juice into him; he had gave me the lower end in our sex play. Now there seemed no way to give him the kiss; it would have to be the hard way.
I moved real fast, pushin’ him off balance and then usin’ my knee and then put his head between my arms and used the chain as a choker. He twisted me off, but then he grabbed me by the shoulders and while the leg chain made karate useless I brought up my knee with full force and caught his exposed jewels right on the balls. He screamed and let go of me and doubled over, droppin’ the pistol in his pain. I got him real good, too, ’cause I had the gun and even had time to make sure I had a shell in the chamber before he was able to come out of it and figure what happened.
The other two girls looked at the whole thing with real shock and horror on their faces, but they just pressed back against the wall.
“Who the hell are you?” Vogel gasped.
“You know who I’m with,” I replied, keepin’ the Beth accent and grammar since it was lousy English but I could say it clear. “The Company want you. You be one baaad boy!”
He recovered enough to stand, shakily, and look bewildered. “The Company! It would have to be, but—why?”
“It seem you make lots of dem bigwigs scared with dat drug thing you got.”
I got to say he really did look surprised. I’d have loved to have gotten more, but the clock was tickin’ and the bomb was under my feet. I gestured with the pistol. “ ’Nuff. Git on down the hole. You can ’splain it yo’self.”
He looked a little cagey, and I got to admit I was feelin’ a little good right then at it bein’ easier than most of the practices. I was right behind him, when suddenly I got hit hard right on the head. It was so unexpected I took a tumble, got tripped up by the leg chains, and fell. Vogel didn’t waste no time; he was on me in a second and just about tore that gun from my grip. I got up, still feelin’ dizzy and confused, and looked around. That damned muscle-headed Lavinia had hit me over the head with the desk chair!
Vogel was back to himself now. “Not a move!” he cautioned me. “I never had to get dressed one-handed before but I’ll manage, and I’ll blow your brains out if you so much as twitch!”
I rolled over and looked at Lavinia. “You dumb nigger bitch!” I swore. I’d’a killed her with my own hands then if I could. She looked so damned smug and proud of herself.
“Don’t blame her,” Vogel said, not givin’ me enough of an openin’ to do anything. He got shirt, pants, and boots on real slow and careful. “She doesn’t know who or what you are except that you were my enemy. You see, even though we’ve just met, I’m the only one she’s got.”
I was mad both at her and at myself. Lavinia was bein’ promoted from field to house in the only life she knew. She’d said she could get used to perfume and lipstick and comfortable beds, and she had no idea that there was any alternative—nor had I time to explain to somebody like that the reality of things. Even if she could understand it, she wouldn’t believe it. Vogel kicked the trapdoor shut and then moved to the main door, opening it. He pointed the gun at me.
“I wish I had time to find out all the details, or even put you through the hypnoscan now, but I don’t. I gather your friends are causing all this ruckus to divert attention from you, and that they’ve captured the station.”
“Give it up, man!” I told him. “Dey gon’ blow dis joint if’n I show or not. Dey wan’ you live, but dey git you dead if’n dey hav’ta.”
“I thought so. The fact is, I don’t know if you’re what you say you are, and I don’t know if I’m being set up or not, but until I can sort this out I’m not going to surrender to anyone, particularly not to some nigger bitch or on her say-so. Get up!
I made it to my feet, though I felt achy. Gettin’ hit by a chair ain’t the small thing you see on TV.
He turned to the two others. “You two remain here until someone comes. I won’t forget this, Lavinia, I promise. Make yourselves at home in the bedroom. Use and enjoy anything you find.”
Yeah, for a few minutes, until the joint blows, I thought sourly, but nobody was gonna listen to me.
“Now you listen to me,” he said to be with a real cold tone that could freeze blood. “I saw your moves, I know what you can do, but you don’t try anything. Once we’re outside here, you’ll be observed by security and guards. Even if you somehow overpower me, and I’m ready for you now, you will only get cut down by others. You cannot reach your friends and they cannot reach you. If you want to live, you’ll do just what I say.”
He had a point, and if he was leavin’ the place I sure wanted out, too. Once we was out of the buildin’, it would be up to Sam and the rest to get me out. I was ready to do my part, but suicide wasn’t it. We was now on Plan B. Not so good and a lot riskier, but the object was to get him out of his safe and guarded place where he could get took.
We went into the hall, and some of the sentries had their eyebrows raised by seein’ me marched out at gunpoint, but they snapped to. “Ready the drome!” he called to one, then said to the other, “You have the key for these things. Give it here and watch her. She’s a bitch!”
The sentry produced a small key, and Vogel took the time to unlock the hand manacles on one side and then hook ’em back around so that my hands were now chained behind my back. Then he pushed me forward, gun at the ready, to some stairs and then, to my surprise, up not one but two flights. A dome shape was goin’ back with a lot of noise above us, and I could see we was in open air, on the roof, and there was a small, funny-lookin’ helicopter there. That wasn’t in no briefin’ books!
He opened a door, pushed me into one seat, then got in on the other and started the thing. It started with a quiet whine, then a big roar as the blades got to speed. It was some kind of jet helicopter but different than any I’d seen. All the instruments was in German.
We went up a little, then he pushed somethin’ and pulled back and we went straight up so fast I felt like the breath was bein’ knocked out of me. When he cut it and hovered, we was so far up that you could see the whole compound down there. There was still some fightin’ on two sides, and all sorts of runnin’ around, and it was all lit up like a Christmas tree.
Vogel started the chopper forward, slow at first, like he was waitin’ for somethin’. What it was was a tremendous set of explosions that made the whole place down there look like World War III. Buildings, includin’ the big manor house, just blew apart like they was toys. The station blew, too, in one hell of a blast that also seemed to trigger a whole bunch of funny blue-white lights, like a solid Labyrinth cube. The station shimmered, then just—winked out. Just like that. There was nothin’ left of it but one monster hole in the ground.
Sam was supposed to be on the B team, the Just In Case team, so I could only hope and pray he still was and hadn’t decided at the last minute to meet me in the station.
Vogel gave a satisfied laugh, then pushed us forward at maximum speed into the night sky.
“What now?” I asked Vogel as we sped into the night sky.
“I am the stationmaster for this world,” he replied. “No one knows the setup here, the weak points, the Labyrinth accesses and modifications like I do. I have enough knowledge of the security system and its goals to get through safely if I pick the right access track and don’t go through a switch. We don’t have far to go once inside. There I can take stock of things, with enough equipment to discover what I must know and perhaps make contact with others.”
“You ’spect me to just sit ’round all dat time?”
He chuckled. “My dear, are you that naive? You are on a mission into an alternate world and you have failed in your objective and you have failed to elude capture. Surely you realize that they cannot allow this. You know too much, and you might be of value to someone against their interests. Everyone can be broken. Everyone. Were I, however, to try to break you or subject you to physical, mental, or artificially induced interrogation, it would be automatic. You would be blocked out, the process reversed, and you would again be only poor, sweet Beth, my willing, eager, and appallingly dumb slave. I couldn’t even bring you back with hypnoscan and the best equipment.”
It wasn’t no bed of roses in that little chopper naked and in chains, but I got a real sick feelin’ when he said that so confident and smug, ’cause I knew deep down in my gut he was tellin’ the truth.
“Don’t let that worry you,” he said smoothly. “In fact, if I had to flee, they gave me a perfect tool and assistant. You will be a great help to me. It will be amusing to watch it happen more slowly. Beth, all of her, is still inside you, whole and complete. Your willpower keeps her down now, but the more tired you get and the more you sleep the more she will merge with you. Those are powerful programs, and very complete, since they have to fool even the devices that create them. It’s still for their protection—at your expense.” He laughed, but suddenly got real cold and crazy. “You listen to me, bitch! You are my property! I own you! What sanity you have depends on me. If I put this down and let you go right now, you would become Beth instantly in this world, a world where power is everything and your skin alone marks you as having none.”
I figured he was tryin’ to scare me, and he was doin’ a pretty good job. He was sure right that I wouldn’t last long in these parts alone. He was also right in that all of Beth was still in my head, and I almost had to fight her to keep from actin’ like her. The only chance I had now was Sam and Bill and that crowd. I knew they was coverin’ the most likely substations, and they also said that somehow they could track me—but that was no sure thing, if we got away clean before they knew it. That was some takeoff and nobody figured on this chopper. What if they thought we was both dead? That scared me the most, ’cause that left me as Vogel’s slave forever.
I dozed off after a while; I couldn’t help it. I was dead tired and there wasn’t much more to say. Trouble was, I dreamed, and I didn’t dream Brandy’s dreams. I started to, but they were all made up of my fears and I ran from ’em—into Beth. Those were simple, pleasant, secure dreams, of lots of sex and no worries or cares or responsibilities.
The helicopter landed, wakin’ me up, but I just lay there, half asleep, not really awake. It was daylight now and the sun was shinin’ and it looked like a pretty day. My arms hurt and I couldn’t remember why. Chained in back . . . I must be bein’ punished for somethin’, but what?
Vogel came back and got in and looked at me carefully. “Beth?” he asked.
“Yessuh?”
“Now, listen close. You got a demon inside you, a real bad one that wants to hurt you and me and everybody. You can feel it in your head. I bet it’s trying to get in right now.”
And it was. I felt it, comin’ in like a mass of mud.
“You can fight it, Beth. Don’t let it in! You must fight it with everything you have! You will fight it. You will not let it in!”
But Beth couldn’t really fight it, the knowledge and understanding, and I was more or less back in control, but shaken. Vogel saw this, but didn’t seem terribly upset. “You ought not to fight it,” he said. “It is inevitable. Here—I will prove it.”
He got me out of the helicopter and then undid my arm bracelets and chains. The relief was enormous, almost orgasmic, both the ultimate pleasure and pain at the same time.
We was in a grassy meadow and there was cows in the distance, but the sun was fairly warm and the air humid and it felt okay after that gray chill.
“There’s a farm just two kilometers that way,” he told me, “and a town another two beyond that. You want to get away, just go ahead. I won’t stop you or shoot you. Go to the farm and see what reception you get. Go to the town and see what happens. Or, perhaps, go wild in the fields here and try and live on what garbage you can steal until you’re caught. Go ahead.”
I looked around. “You made yo’ point,” I told him, and actually for the first time I could at least understand the poor, late Lavinia. Even slaves in the old south had a place they might run to, if they had the guts and the energy, up north. Not here. Not anywhere. Latin America, maybe, but I didn’t know enough about the rest of this world to know for sure or how far down. And them old runaways, they didn’t have to fight no Beth every time they got tired or slept. Even if all the shackles were off, there was just no place to run. Hell, I didn’t even have any idea where in hell we was!
He unpacked a basket that had sandwiches and a jug of what proved to be cider and gave me some. There was enough Beth in me to find the meat in the sandwiches unappetizing and the cider pretty bad tastin’, but I managed. After, he told me to pick up all the stuff and repack the basket and put it in the chopper and I did. There wasn’t anything else to do but play along. It was all out of my hands now and I knew it. I’d just have to be good.
But I sure would like to get Vogel someday in a world where the black people were on top. There were some—I asked once.
Vogel surprised me by also removin’ my leg chains. Not bad treatment for somebody who’d kicked him in the balls and cost him his empire.
“A final demonstration,” he said, enjoyin’ it. “I need some sleep, and the men with the gasoline can’t be here for a few hours. Since I still can’t be certain you won’t try to grab my pistol and overpower me, I will lock myself in the cabin. Unfortunately, that means you remain outside. Go where you will, but not out of sight, please. Almost anyone who found you around here would be far less kind than I, and you would lose any hope that your friends could find us.” And, with that, he climbed into the cabin and locked both doors and settled in.
This, I decided, was the nuttiest situation I could imagine. I was stark naked in some cow pasture, and I was free and my kidnapper had locked himself in to protect himself from me.
As a demonstration, though, it beat all the lectures in the world.
There was no way I was gonna live in no cow pasture, and trees and hills of any size was few and far between here. Last thing I wanted to be was a slave to a bunch of farmhands, and the town would have the usual Nazi everything. I sure wasn’t about to kill myself so long as there was any hope of bein’ rescued, but I thought I might do it if it was this for life or death. So I just moved out a little into the warm sun and sat down in the grass and waited.
The gas truck came a couple of hours later, driven by two typical cracker types. I pounded on the door and woke up Vogel and he got up and came out. The two drivers just stared at me and I thought at first it was because I was naked, but then I realized they probably never saw a black person before in their lives.
Vogel noticed it, too, and enjoyed every minute of it. “You want to feel her up a little? Go ahead. She likes it.” He took a manacle with chain and held it sorta like a whip. “She won’t do nothin’, will you, Beth?”
I hated his guts but the only protest I could manage in this situation was to not reply. It was a horrible situation, almost but not quite a rape, but just as degrading and humiliating, and I flipped out. Brandy shut off and Beth took over, as Vogel figured would happen. The only thing Beth had was her body; her skin limited anything she might want to do or anyplace she might want to go, and any mind was a liability. She wound up givin’ both of ’em blow jobs and enjoyin’ every minute of it. That’s how Vogel paid most of the gas bill.
We was in the air when I managed to creep back into control, and now I knew what havin’ a split personality was like. I was so completely disgusted and humiliated that I was on the edge of just givin’ up and lettin’ Beth take over. The only thing that stopped me was that I knew I was this man’s and this world’s prisoner, but I was damn well not his property or slave. It was the only part of me I could still control, and I had too much pride and too much hate for him to let him have that, too.
It was clear Vogel felt he wasn’t bein’ chased—they’d have caught up to us by now—and he was in no real hurry. If he’d made a run for the stations closest to his Pennsylvania retreat, they’d have nabbed him, but if two, three, or more days went by with no sign, and even in this tight dictatorship no records comin’ back to their contacts, they’d slack off. They had to. The way both the headquarters people’ and Vogel talked, it would take hundreds of folks to stake out all the possibilities. They could spare that many for a day or two, but not for real long.
I wanted Sam, bad. I needed him. More, I needed just to know that he was still alive. That had been one hell of a bang, and I don’t think they was the ones who triggered it.
Turned out, too, that Vogel wasn’t out of the woods, neither, ’cause he didn’t dare use much of his influence for anything that might get his location reported back to someplace where it could be noted by our people. He did, however, have money. That helicopter was outfitted partly as a permanent getaway car, complete with fake and convincin’ Nazi IDs and a fair amount of money. He just got a charge out of using me instead when he could. Still, he couldn’t keep outta notice and with farms and real small towns forever; he was gettin’ nervous ’bout his own people here now. Three days after we set out, he made for this real hot, dry, dusty desert place with big, tall, purple mountains in the distance. There musta been mining there sometime long ago, ’cause on the desert floor but up against the mountains there was this tiny, broke-down ghost town. Not much, about a half dozen buildin’s that looked worse than any slum.
He picked the place well. Nobody, not even no roads, around for a hundred miles, a hot baked nothin’ of a place, but with a kind of sandy ground that showed every track around. Ain’t nobody been ’round that place in a long time, I thought. He’s gonna get away with it! I thought in somethin’ of a panic. That fucking son of a bitch is gonna do it, and take me with him! I knew where he was headin’—sorta. There was all sorts of time lines in which people just never developed at all, or anything else, for that matter, that could think. Some of ’em was right in the middle of otherwise populated worlds, and some had been rigged up by bigwigs both in the Corporation and by traitors to it as safe worlds.
Vogel no longer even worried about me, even when I wasn’t Beth. Truth was, even though I had my full knowledge and identity, most times, more and more I just was actin’ and thinkin’ like Beth ’cause it didn’t do no good to fight. The longer we kept from bein’ caught by anybody, the harder it was to fight it. My last hope, the shit still in that tooth compartment, was dashed ’cause whenever I was under that kind of sexual thing Beth took over. It might as well not be there.
Vogel left me there while he checked out the buildings, bein’ as cautious and sure as he could. He came back and pointed. “There’s a trail up to an old mine there. Get the supply basket, particularly the water, and come with me.”
I got it, although it was heavy and a little awkward.
That trail wasn’t much these days, particularly for bare feet and carryin’ that basket, but I kept up with him. It was a long way up from the town and hot and dry as could be, and Vogel stopped every once in a while and had me bring him a bottle to drink. He didn’t give me none ’though I was dry as hell, and I was so far gone by that point it never even occurred to me to take a drink without permission. It wasn’t until we was halfway there that he let me have the last half of a warm beer he was drinkin’. It was a strong brew on a mostly empty stomach on a hot day and I got feelin’ a little high from it.
We was high, too. Lookin’ down the helicopter was far enough below that it was blurry to me, and everything beyond was too blurred to see. On top of everything else, my vision treatments was wearin’ off fast and I was goin’ back to bein’ legally blind without no glasses. We finally reached the ledge where the mine entrance was—more broke-down timbers and an old musty hole—and he let me have another beer and he had the last one.
“I put in this substation myself several years ago. Just me and three others, none of whom lived to tell of its existence,” Vogel said. “It’s a known weak spot, but the Company ignored it because it was clearly inside a mountain. They didn’t know about this mine.”
I giggled, feelin’ pretty drunk on only one and a half beers. “Dat damn thecurity juth as fulla holes as always was,” I muttered, more to myself than to Vogel. “But if you on the squah wit’ th’ Comp’ny, den why you build dis at all?”
“A good question, so I’ll answer it. Graft, mostly. Most stationmasters need a little just to do their jobs. That hypnoscan, for example, was wonderful for insuring loyalty and changing minds, but it’s illegal here. Places like this make getting that kind of thing possible. I haven’t had to use it in years, though. There are better methods. It’s handy now.”
He got up. “Stand up and stick close to me. Get me the flashlight out of the basket and hand it to me. We’re going to leave this burning hellhole.”
I got up and followed him into the mine. It was dirty and dingy but almost immediately it was cooler. The flashlight lit up the place, but it was still bad lookin’. It went in and then curved around and down a bit. Some of them rafters was real old, and every once in a while some dirt and stuff would come down on or around us.
There was an old iron gate at the end of it, with a thick, rusted lock on it. Vogel didn’t have the key, but he didn’t need it. With my help the whole gate came free, lock, door, and all, and we put it to one side. Beyond that was a bunch of machinery, painted black so it didn’t show, and Vogel turned it on. Just beyond in the tunnel, there was a sound like an electric motor whine, then a pulsing, and then he threw another set of switches and the Labyrinth line appeared, then did its usual thing of dividin’ and dividin’ again.
For a minute I had a thought. Once in there, I had a place to run—anyplace but out into one of the other worlds. Just to a switch point. He wouldn’t dare follow but so far. ’Course, he had the gun, but I still figured it was worth the chance. Vogel, unfortunately, had the same idea.
He grabbed the basket, moved some stuff, and came up with the arm and leg chains. My hopes sank. No way I was gonna dodge bullets wearin’ those. If I’d’a known he put them in there, or had my full wits in me, I’d’a chucked them things.
He turned to me, his back to the Labyrinth, and turned me around and pulled my hands behind me. He fixed the chains, then turned—and looked straight into two mean-lookin’ guys with big, fancy guns.
He turned back and saw two more guys with guns blockin’ our way back out again. He grabbed me and put me in front of him, back against the wall, pistol out. This was one tough dude.
“Stay back or she’s dead!” he shouted. “You let me through and I’ll give her back to you!”
“You’re in no position to deal, Vogel,” said one of the men who had to have come in through the Labyrinth. “The idea was to get you. It was her job, too, and in a way she did the job anyway. Kill her and you have no leverage. Shoot any of us and we’ll have to try and shoot you even if it’s right through her.”
“Oh, great,” I muttered. He had one hand on his pistol, the other wrapped around the chain holding my hands in back of me. Freak-out Beth was nowhere around now. She couldn’t handle this kinda situation. Me, it took two seconds to figure the odds—either we’d be there a long time, or Vogel would shoot and take his chances. He wasn’t the type to surrender peacefully or they wouldn’t’a needed me in the first place.
Using all my muscle power, I twisted my body and fell to the stone floor. Vogel, his hand wrapped in the chain, had no choice but to fall with me. His gun went off, and the shot ricocheted all over the place, but if it hit anybody it wasn’t clear. They was on him in a minute, tossin’ the gun away and haulin’ him up back to his feet none too gentle. One of the men from in back, the entrance side, ran forward to me.
“Brandy! My God! You all right?”
“Tham!” I managed, and then we was huggin’ and kissin’ and both of us was cryin’. One of the men found the key to the chains and gave it to Sam, who undid them and handed them over. The leg chains got put on Vogel; they had plain old handcuffs for his hands.
“How did you—?” I managed.
“We didn’t foresee this kind of getaway,” he told me, “but we still had the monitor on to your encoder so we could tell when you went into the Safe Room and start the show. All of a sudden the thing went nuts, and we got a reading of straight up and over. We got everybody back and radioed the men in the station to get back in the Labyrinth. Most of them made it. We followed you by land for a while but it wasn’t possible, and by the time we got something in the air you were out of range. We’ve been going nuts trying to find you ever since.”
He helped me up. I was still shaky and I knew I was gonna have a bunch of bruises. “Den how did—dis place . . . ?”
“Every world where the Company has a station they have satellites to monitor communications and general conditions. Back home, ours can read a newspaper. Theirs can find all the encoded people and give a fix. He led a real zigzag route over two thirds of the country and he was real clever about it, but when we got two fixes on this spot we knew he had to be heading here, even though we didn’t have it down as a possible. He couldn’t use Oregon or Mendocino, the only other two possibilities over here, because we had them covered. It had to be here. We got here about an hour before you did—close—but time enough to radio back to Bill in Oregon and have him monitor the weak point on the Labyrinth side while Sergei and I staked this place out.”
“Den why didn’t you take him when we git heah?”
“First, we wanted him—and you—alive. This was the least risky. And we didn’t really know where the substation was until we followed you up. We figured the tunnel was the best bet. You saw how he was even in here. Figure the odds if we’d tried to take him in the open.”
It made sense. “Den—it’s ovah? I kin get back to tawkin’ normal?”
“It’s over, babe. Let’s go back to the doc and then home and collect. I figure they owe us a cool five million smackers. Haji—lead the way! We want out!
Bye-bye Beth. It’s for your own good, too.
The two men from the Labyrinth side led the way, with Sergei and Sam and me bringin’ up the rear and a very sour-lookin’ Vogel in the middle. It felt real good to see him in chains. A coupla times we passed windows out to worlds that looked right for him and I half expected him to make a break for it, but he didn’t.
We made a coupla switch points on the way back to headquarters and I was feelin’ good. Fact was, the man had been right—they got Vogel ’cause Vogel had me. The crazy thing was, if I had made any kinda break for it, or if he’d dumped me and gone it alone, he might just have made it out. He was just so damned arrogant that he was gonna break this uppity nigress that he never thought of this kind of trackin’.
We was in the main line now, almost home. Most of the world pictures mirrored to us looked a lot like headquarters.
They hit us first with a concussion grenade that knocked everybody silly, then came at us from the sides and top. I don’t know how many there were, I was feelin’ so groggy from the concussion, but I looked up and saw bodies everywhere and the flashes of guns we couldn’t hear but could kill just the same. The concussion grenade didn’t make no noise, neither, but it was like a big fist knockin’ us flat.
There were six of them—I got the sense of both men and women, all dressed in black and hooded and with firearms. Our people managed to get two of ’em, but the others looked around and started firin’ at random into just about everybody. I saw the whole thing like it was slow motion; I saw Sam jump as one of the black-masked killers brought his gun around on me and jump the guy from the front. I saw the flash and then saw part of Sam’s head explode in blood and he was knocked down right on top of me. I guess they figured they got me, too, ’cause they lit out on the run to the next cubes and out of my sight.
Sam was a bloody mess and he looked as dead as the others, but I thought I saw some signs of life there. There was a switching cube just three back and I figured the best thing I could do to save what lives there was to save was to make it back there and get help on the double.
We wondered how the big man was gonna take Vogel out, and now we knew. It made perfect sense in 20-20 hindsight. Vogel was to be hauled to headquarters. They knew just where in the Labyrinth he’d have to pass, and, most of all, they knew it was us just twenty minutes or so after we nabbed him. I didn’t think of anything like that right then, just Sam.
The last thing I expected out of this was for me to be the survivor.