"Chalker, Jack L. - Dancing Gods 01 - The River of the Dancing Gods" - читать интересную книгу автора (Chalker Jack L)

at Lackland. A drill instructor in basic. We met in a bar and
got drunk on the town. He was older and a very lonely man,
and, well, you know what I was going through. We just kinda
fell into it. He was a pretty rough character, and after all the
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Chalker, Jack L - The River of the Dancing Gods
early fun had worn off and we'd settled down, he'd come home
at night and take all his frustrations out on me. It really got to
him, after a while, that I was smarter and better educated than
he was. He had some inferiority complex. He was hell on his
recruits, too—but they got away from him after eight weeks
or so. I had him for years. After a while he got transferred up
to Reese in Lubbock, but he hated that job and he hated the
cold weather and the dust and wind, and that just made it all
the worse. Me, I had it really bad there, too, since what few
friends I had were all in San Antonio."
"I'd have taken a hike long before," he commented. "Divorce
ain't all that bad. Ask my ex."
"Well, it's easy to see that—now. But I had some money
for the first time, and a house, and a real sense of something
permanent, even if it was lousy. I know it's kind of hard to
understand—it's hard to explain. I guess you just had to be
me. I figured maybe kids would mellow him out and give me
a new direction—but after two miscarriages, the second one
damn near killing me, the doctors told me I should never have
kids. Probably couldn't, but definitely shouldn't. That just made
him meaner and sent me down the tubes. Booze, pot, pills—
you name it, I swallowed it or smoked it or sniffed it. And
one day—it was my thirtieth birthday—I looked at myself in
the mirror, saw somebody a shot-to-hell forty-five looking back
at me, picked up what I could use most and carry easy, cashed
a check for half our joint account, and took a bus south to think
things out. I've been walking ever since—and I still haven't
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THE RIVER OF DANCING GODS
JACK L. CHALKER
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been out of the goddamned state of Texas. I waited tables,
swept floors, never stayed long in one spot. Hell, I've sold my
body for a plate of eggs. Done everything possible to keep
from thinking, looking ahead, worrying. I burned out. I've had
it."
He thought about it for a moment, and then it came to him.
"But you jumped out of that fella's car."
She nodded wearily. "Yeah, I did. I don't even know why,
exactly. Or maybe, yes, I do, too. It was an all-of-a-sudden
kind of thing, sort of like when I turned thirty and looked in
the mirror. There wasn't any mirror, really, but back there in
that car I still kind of looked at myself and was, well, scared,
frightened, maybe even revolted at what I saw staring back.