"SCREW" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

Chapter 8 Masonry: At last, a practical use for Maine.......................46
Chapter 9 Easy Projects: Getting off to a slow start........................50
Chapter 10 Impossible Projects: How to build a hot tub and a hotter
computer...............................................................58
Chapter 11 Household Pests: Getting tough with toads........................62
Chapter 12 The Lawn and Garden: Why all the plants in your garden hate you,
and how to win their respect...........................................68
Chapter 13 Car Repair: The three keys to trouble-free motoring: animal traps,
a wading pool, and this fact-crammed chapter...........................74
Chapter 14 Redecorate Your House in a Day: And stick "aesthetics" back where
it belongs, in the dictionary..........................................80
Chapter 15 Build Your Own House: On second thought, don't...................84
Index.......................................................................90


Introduction


Sincere statement of thanks from the author

I sincerely thank you for purchasing this do-it-yourself book, instead of
one of the thousands of other, much better ones. I want to assure you that
there is not a single project in this book that I would not have considered
doing myself if I hadn't been so busy writing a do-it-yourself book.

Why you need this book

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around
your home are too difficult to tackle. So when your furnace explodes, you
call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a
truck with lettering on the sides and deposits two assistants whose combined
IQ's would still be a two-digit number, and they spend the better part of a
week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after
which the "professional" returns and gives you a bill for slightly more money
than it would cost you to run a successful campaign for the U.S. Senate.

And that's why you've decided to start doing things yourself. You
figure, "If those bozos can fix my furnace, then so can I. How difficult can
it be?"

Very difficult. In fact, most home projects are impossible, which is why
you should do them yourself. There is no point in paying other people to
screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far less money.
This book can help you.

How to use this book

The best way to use this book is to place it on a coffee table so that
your guests can place their drinks on it. Or, if you'd like to attempt a home
repair project, you can look up the appropriate chapter. For example, if you