"HOMES" - читать интересную книгу автора (Barry Dave)

The best place to obtain a broker is at a junior high school, where
you'll find that virtually all the teachers obtained real estate licenses once
they realized what a tragic mistake they had made, selecting a profession that
requires them to spend entire days confined in small rooms with adolescent
children. Often it is sufficient to just drive by the school and beep your
horn; within seconds, brokers will come swarming out of doors and windows,
eager to abandon their lesson plans on the Three Major Bones of the Inner Ear
so they can help you find a home.

There are many factors to consider in selecting a broker, such as
competence, honesty, vertical leap, and placement in the Evening Gown
Competition. But the most important factor is an intangible quality called
"professionalism," by which I mean "car size." You want to select the broker
with the largest possible car, because you're going to spend far more time in
this car than in whatever home you ultimately buy.

Next you should tell your broker what your Price Range is, so he or she
can laugh until his or her official company blazer is soaked with drool. What
your broker finds so amusing, of course, is that there is virtually nothing,
outside of the Third World, available in your Price Range. I don't care if
your Price Range is a hillion jillion dollars, there will be nothing available
in it. This is a fundamental principle of real estate.

At first you will probably insist on looking at the something in your
Price Range anyway, which will result in the following comical dialogue:

You: This is It? They're asking $89,500 for a refrigerator carton?
BROKER: Yes, but I think they'll take $85,000.

This process is called "getting a feel for the market." Once you've
undergone it, your broker will explain a creative new financial concept that
has been developed to enable people such as yourself to enjoy the benefits of
home ownership, called: Spending Way More Than You Can Afford. Usually you
have to talk yourself into going with this concept. Here are some sound
financial arguments you can use:

1. Although you may not really be able to afford a more expensive home at your
current income level, it makes sense to buy it anyway, because in just a
few years, at your current rate of progress in your career, you'll
probably be dead.
2. There are major tax benefits to owning a home. The law, written by wise
lawyers and bankers, permits you to deduct all the money you give to
lawyers or bankers, which will turn out to be virtually all the money you
have.
3. Owning a home is a smart investment. As inflation pushes up the cost of
living, you will build up equity in your home, so that, when you
eventually sell it, you will have made enough profit to be able to afford
to pay the point and closing costs' on your next home!

So as you can see, you really can't afford not to buy a home that you