"Asprin, Robert - Myth 09 - M.Y.T.H Inc. In Action" - читать интересную книгу автора (Asprin Robert)

"Oh yeah?" Shu sneers, turnin' his attention toward this new front. "And who's going to make me?"

"If I have to, I will, " Spyder shoots back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well then, why Don't you show us... OW!"

By now I have cooled off enough to take advantage of the situational as it presents it self. As they puff up and start to strut toward Spyder, the two brothers have thoughtlessly and rudely turned their backs on me. Before they can close on her, I have stepped in behind and between them, and dropped a friendly arm around their shoulders.

"Excuse me, Spyder, " I sez with a smile, "but I need to have a few words with these boys in private whilst they are still able to stand and walk without the aid of crutch-type assistance. Right boys?"

"oW !... right!"

"Yeah... Aaah! ... Sure!"

The sudden cooperative nature of the Flie brothers is in no small way influenced by the fact that I have casually dug a thumb in to the hollow of a collarbone on each of them and tend to tighten my grip another notch each time I asks them a question... regardless of how rhetorical it might be. The real trick to this maneuver, in case any of youse is interested in technical-type details, is not to loosen your grip once you start tightenin' it. That is, it isn't squeeze... release... Squeeze... release..., it's squeeze... tighten... tighter... Grind.... See what I mean? Now if, perhaps, youse have developed your grip to a point where you can crumble bricks with it... like I have... this will prove to be a most convincin' punctuation to the weakest of logic durin' a difference of opinion.

Anyhoo, returnin' to my oration, I draws the two brothers aside for a little chat, all the while keepin' a wary eye on the hoverin' corporal.

"Now, Don't you think it would be a good idea for you boys to lighten up a little? (squeeze) " I sez softly so's we are the only ones who can hear. "There are two things you should be considerin' here. First, dis collection of individuals we is goin' through trainin' with constitutes a group, and within a group it is always better to be nice than nasty. With nice, you got friends who will cover your back in a fight... With nasty, youse gotta watch your back from them. You got that?" (tighten)

"Right, Guido!"

"oW! Sure Guido!"

"Good. Now second, I want youse to keep in mind that if you does not abanDon your querulous habits, and those habits slow or other wise interfere with this group co MPletin' its trainin' in the shortest possible time..." I sneak a glance at the corporal, then lower my voice while takin' great pains to keep a smile on my face."... Then I will personally rip off each of youse guy's heads and spit down your neck! (tighter) You got that?"

"Gaah! Yeah! Got it!"

"Anything you... Owww... Say, Guido!"

"Oh yeah. Just one more thing. I Don't talk funny. (grind) Agreed?"

"aaaahhh..."

"God..."

I noticed the corporal is comin' our way, thereby signalin' an end to our playtime.

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" I sez, and releases my grip all at once.

I have neglected to mention durin' my previous instructional oration that if youse relaxes the aforementioned grip suddenly and co MPletely, the resultin' rush of blood to the area which has been as saulted by said grip causes additional discomfort to a point where some subjects have been known to faint dead away. The advantage of this is obvious, in that you are not actually even touching them at the moment the effect takes hold. The Flie brothers are in exceptionally good shape, as I have noted before, so they merely stagger a bit. It is clear to them, however, as it is to me, that for a while they will have extreme difficulty movin' their arms with any degree of speed or strength... like say, in a fight. This, of course, has the originally desired effect of mellowin' their previously bullyin', swaggerin' behavior noticeably.

"What's going on here?" the corporal demands, burstin' in on our little group.

I blinks innocent-like and gave him a helpless shrug like he was a DA during cross examination.