"Asaro, Catherine - Walk in Silence" - читать интересную книгу автора (Asaro Catherine)Walk in Silence Catherine Asaro
If ancient animosities are finally laid to rest, will new ones take their place?
I
Silver Tide
Lieutenant Colonel Jess Fernández
was sick. She sat in her chair at the end of a giant robot arm that
could swing anywhere within the large hemisphere around her. Although
she could act as captain from many locations within the ship, she
spent most shifts here on the bridge.
She rubbed her eyes, exhausted after
having worked late the previous evening, ship’s time. Her
queasy stomach didn’t help. She also had a cold, of all the
absurd anachronisms, and she felt like hell.
Holoscreens covered the surface of the
kilometer-wide dome that formed the bridge. Right now they showed the
planet Athena, a gas giant banded by blue and red clouds, glowing
against the spangled backdrop of space. The view to starboard lifted
her spirits. It came from a satellite orbiting Athena and showed her
ship, Silver Tide, a scientific research facility. The vessel
glistened, a rotating cylinder several kilometers long. Lights
sparkled along its body, on antennae, pods, struts, and towers.
Jess always got a kick out of watching
Silver Tide from within the ship. She had never lost the awe she felt
that first time she boarded, coming to assume her command. In the
five years since, Silver Tide had become part of her.
Her stomach interrupted her enjoyment
with an unwelcome lurch. Trying to divert her thoughts, she magnified
the screen images. Now they revealed a small spacecraft on approach,
a Bolt transport. On Silver Tide, the pod on a docking tube was
opening like a giant flower. The Bolt sailed inside and the pod
closed, swallowing the craft. Jess recognized the Bolt; it carried
Jack O’Brien and his Allied Services team, which tracked the
interstellar black market. They were hitching a ride on Silver Tide,
headed out across space to bust smugglers.
Jess sniffled, distracted by her stuffy
nose. Pah. This was absurd. She had all her inoculations. Granted,
none were 100 percent effective, but humans had cured most strains of
the common cold. It irked her no end to have caught one anyway.
She still had to do her job. To the
computer, she said, "Spin her up."
"Done," it answered. The
bridge began to turn, its screens adjusting to keep the view
stationary. She rotated the bridge during part of each shift so her
crew at the consoles on the hull weren’t always in
micro-gravity. Against the immensity of space, their stations were
tiny wedges moving past the stars. Usually Jess reveled in that
glorious vista. Unfortunately, seeing those consoles zip by today did
nothing glorious for her stomach. Bloody hell. Captains weren’t
supposed to get sick.
Jess sent her chair humming toward a
hatch on the hull. To match speed and position with the moving hatch,
the chair turned upside down, making her dismayed stomach flip-flop.
She gulped bile as she shoved out of her seat. Then she rendezvoused
with the Bridge Renewal and Refresher Chamber, otherwise known as the
loo.
As she squeezed into the cubicle, a
med-holo of her face formed in front of the opposite panel showing a
woman with black hair tousled around her shoulders. Dark smudges
showed below her eyes.
She barely had time to lean over the
sink before she lost her lunch.
"You work too hard." Dr.
George Mai stood by the bed in the exam room, scanning his holopad. A
heavy-set man of average height, he had a kind face and brown eyes.
He frowned at Jess, who was sitting on the end of the bed, her booted
legs almost touching the floor. "You should come in more often
for a check-up," he admonished.
Jess barely held back her grimace. She
had never liked hospitals. "I’m not working any harder
than usual. I’ve no reason to be sick."
"I’m still checking a few
tests, but I can already give you the diagnosis." He turned off
his holopad. "You have a cold, Captain. You need rest.
Relaxation."
Jess glowered at him. "I’m
perfectly relaxed."
He started to answer, then seemed to
think better of it. Instead he said, "I’ll let you know if
anything else turns up."
"Thank you." She slid off the
bed, standing half a head taller than him.
"You really could use a rest,"
he said. "Doctor Bolton would say the same."
Gads. He was pulling out the big guns.
She could just hear Sandra Bolton, the senior physician at Claymore
Hospital: I insist you relax, Jess. Take a vacation, find a hobby,
meet some people. You’re an intelligent, accomplished,
attractive woman. All right, so you’re also stubborn as all
hell. But you still need a social life.
Stubborn, pah. Sandra didn’t seem
to understand the words, I’m fine, go away. Jess had great
respect for the doctor’s abilities, but she had no wish to hear
Sandra’s unsolicited advice on her personal life, or lack
thereof.
Especially not now.
Jess hurried through the secluded woods
around the medical park. She had changed back into her uniform, the
blue trousers and shirt of a lieutenant colonel in the Space Corps of
the Allied Worlds of Earth. At six-foot-two, with long legs, she
devoured distance as she strode along a gravel path. The trees and
flowering bushes on both sides tended to make her forget she lived on
a star ship. Then she reached an open area and saw the forest sloping
up the distant curve of the cylinder. The "sky" consisted
of light panels in the overhead deck.
Silver Tide was a self-sufficient
habitat, with its own towns and countryside. It carried thousands of
people, primarily civilians, though Jess and her officers served in
the Space Corps. The scientists onboard did research related to
space, studying everything from genetically altered colonists on
other planets to star formation. Researchers throughout the Allied
Worlds of Earth regularly applied for grants to work on Silver Tide.
Jess sighed. Cold or no cold, she had
work to do. She headed for the administrative park where her staff
had their offices. The gleaming buildings were scattered among lawns
and parks, with abstract sculptures that had never made a whit of
sense to Jess. The modern art looked ugly to her, but perhaps she was
too pragmatic to appreciate its nuances.
For the rest of the day, she met with
the heads of science divisions, working on the ship’s
itinerary. They had just picked up several astrophysicists who would
study interstellar dust clouds for the next few months. Several weeks
ago Silver Tide had dropped off a team of anthropologists on the
world Icelos, and Jess wanted to check on them. Other groups had
other itinerary requests.
Normally Jess enjoyed this part of her
job, but today she felt too queasy to do more than function. During a
meeting with the Microbiology division, she started to sneeze. She
wished the med-patch George had given her would take effect. This was
embarrassing.
After a full day, she headed home for a
few hours of sleep. As she walked, she brooded on the discord among
her staff. Several argued against returning to Icelos to check on the
anthropologists. They claimed it would take valuable time other
research teams needed. Jess found that hard to credit, given how
often Silver Tide made such checks. Far more likely, their reluctance
came about because Icelos was a Cephean world.
Cepheans had once been human. Six
thousand years ago, an unknown race had moved humans from Earth to
another planet, then vanished with no explanation. The stranded
humans learned genetic engineering in desperation; without it, their
population would have been too small to maintain a viable gene pool.
Driven by memories of their lost home, they also developed space
travel and went in search of Earth. So it was that five millennia
ago, Earth’s displaced children built an interstellar empire.
But the empire soon collapsed,
stranding its colonies. Although its descendants took thousands of
years to regain space travel, they eventually succeeded, this time
building a formidable civilization, the Skolian Imperialate. When
Earth’s people finally reached the stars, they found their lost
siblings already there, busily building empires. The Skolians had
recovered many of their ancient colonies–including Cepheus.
The name was actually an Earth word.
Unable to reproduce Cephean speech, Earth’s humans called the
world Cepheus after a mythological king descended from Zeus, because
the parent star appeared in the direction of the constellation
Cepheus when seen from Earth.
However, Cepheus was a Skolian world.
Its colonists had altered themselves, though now, millennia later, no
one knew why. If they had intended to expand their gene pool, they
failed miserably; Cepheans could neither reproduce with humans nor
had any interest in doing so. Perhaps the changes adapted their harsh
new world. They had two extra arms, modifications to accommodate the
limbs, and luxuriant pelts. Entrepreneurs on Earth had spent millions
trying to synthesize the fur, but that was all most humans liked
about their altered neighbors. Cepheans evoked ancient terrors: Yeti,
golems, stalkers in the night, a child’s nightmare.
Initially Cepheans had liked humans,
responding on an instinctual level. Earth’s children looked
like pretty pets to them. They turned wary as they discovered their
long-lost siblings were anything but simple or malleable. When they
realized how much humans reviled them, their unease became hostility.
A few decades ago, the Cepheans had
settled Icelos, a planet in a system near their home. The colony’s
scientific nature made it amenable to interaction with humans, and
scientists on Earth and Icelos soon set up an exchange program.
Silver Tide had carried Earth’s research team to Icelos, and
Jess felt responsible for them. The exchange offered a symbol, proof
that humans and Cepheans could work together. But the tenuous accord
could unravel all too easily.
Dusk spread over the landscape as the
panels dimmed overhead. Weary, Jess sat on a large boulder by the
path and folded her arms across her torso. She leaned forward,
swallowing the bile in her throat; either George’s medicine
wasn’t working or else she needed new thoughts. She felt like
hell.
Better not to think of Icelos.
With her arms crossed on her polished
desk, Jess nodded pleasantly to the man sprawled in a leather
armchair of her office. "I hope your accommodations are
acceptable, Mr. O’Brien."
Jack O’Brien gave her a rakish
grin, more like a pirate than a security officer in the Allied
Services. "Top shape, Cap’n." A black curl fell over
his forehead as he took a swig of his coffee. "After our
military transport didn’t show up, we figured we were stranded
at Epsilani Station. Your ship was a godsend.
"I’m glad we could help."
Although the Space Corps had no formal connection to the Allied
Services, Jess had no objection to their agents hitching a ride on
her ship.
The comm in her desk buzzed. Touching a
panel, she said, "Fernández here."
Sandra Bolton’s voice crackled.
"Captain, I need to see you as soon as possible."
Jess held back her groan. She had no
wish to see Sandra now or ever, but she knew the doctor; the more
Jess balked, the more Sandra would persist. The last thing she needed
right now was to have a verbal duel with the head of Claymore
Hospital in front of a visitor.
Jack O’Brien stood up, setting
his mug on her desk, and mouthed, Thanks for the coffee. Relieved by
his tact, Jess raised her hand to him as he left. When she was alone,
she spoke into the comm. "I’ll stop by the hospital later
if I have time." She had a lot of work to finish today. In fact,
she had just remembered more she had to do. Incredible amounts.
Sandra wasn’t buying it. "This
can’t wait."
Jess frowned. "Why not?"
"You should come here."
That gave Jess pause. Sandra wasn’t
usually this oblique. It might bear checking out. Grudgingly, she
said, "All right."
Sandra stood at a bench surrounded by
monitors. The doctor was five-foot-six and had gained weight over the
years, nothing drastic, but enough to make her round. Her short,
stylish hair gleamed silver in the harsh light.
As Jess entered the exam room, Sandra
turned and regarded her with a neutral expression. Bland. Sandra
never looked bland. Something was up.
Jess stopped just inside the room, even
more wary now. "Yes?"
Sandra studied her face. "We need
to talk."
"How about some other time?"
Like in a century.
"Jess, listen." The doctor
cleared her throat. "It’s about the suggestions I gave
you."
"Which ones? You give a lot."
Sandra’s inventory of lectures was formidable.
"About socializing."
Jess would have laughed if she hadn’t
been so astounded. "Is that why you called me here so urgently?
To find out if I’ve gone to any parties?"
"No. I just hadn’t expected
you to actually take my advice." Sandra laid her hand on the
exam table, as if for support. Then she took a deep breath.
"Jess–you’re pregnant."
Jess stared at her, at a loss for a
reply. It was simply too ludicrous. Finally she found her voice. "Is
this some sort of tasteless joke?"
Sandra showed no sign of laughing.
"George and I did three independent checks. They all give the
same result."
Jess scowled. "Then your
procedures have some problem."
"When George saw the result during
your exam earlier, he thought it was a mistake too. But we checked.
It’s true."
"Sandra, for crying out loud. I
can’t be pregnant."
The doctor spoke dryly. "You
aren’t the first woman to say those words. Nor the first to be
wrong."
"I’m not saying it’s
unlikely. It’s impossible."
"No birth control method is one
hundred percent effective."
Jess wished she were somewhere else.
Anywhere. Discussing her sex life, or lack thereof, was about as high
on her list of preferred activities as having a tooth pulled without
benefit of modern dentistry. She crossed her arms. "It requires
a merger to effect the result you attribute to the sole capacity of
my reproductive organs."
The doctor smiled. "Does that have
a translation into something I can understand?"
So much for subtlety. Jess felt herself
redden. "It means I haven’t, uh–been with a man."
Her tormentor shrugged. "Maybe you
forgot."
"Forgot?" Jess couldn’t
believe she was having this conversation. "That’s
ridiculous. And no, I didn’t go to a sperm bank."
"So how did you get pregnant?"
"I didn’t."
Sandra continued as if Jess hadn’t
spoken. "You caught a cold because your resistance is down. You
need more rest now and you’re not getting it. And it’s
why you’ve felt nauseated. You have morning sickness."
"I have it all day," Jess
grumbled.
"You must have missed two cycles
by now. Didn’t you notice?"
"I’m always irregular when
I’m off-planet."
Sandra scrutinized her. "Could you
have had sex without knowing it?"
This felt more surreal by the moment.
"I think I would have noticed."
Sandra motioned at the bed. "Lie
down."
Jess scowled at her.
The doctor smiled. "I don’t
bite, you know."
"You do worse," Jess
muttered. "You give advice." But she went to the bed and
lay on her back. Her feet hung over the bottom edge.
Sandra clicked up an extension to
support Jess’s feet. Then she moved to a monitor and said,
"Scan one, Jazmín Fernández." It was one of
Sandra’s few redeeming qualities: she knew how to say her
captain’s name. It wasn’t that Jess didn’t like her
nickname; she had answered to Jess since her childhood in London. But
she still appreciated it when someone pronounced Jazmín right.
"Type R scan," Sandra said.
She unhooked a cable from the monitor, rolled up Jess’s shirt,
and proceeded to slide the disk across her abdomen.
"Hey." Jess stiffened. "What
are you doing?"
"Relax. It’s just an image
processor." Sandra motioned at the monitor. "Look."
Jess peered at the screen. A color
image was forming, set against a dark background. It showed a sac
holding a tiny figure with a huge head and a flutter inside its body.
"What is that?"
"Your baby," Sandra said.
"The motion is its heartbeat."
Jess blinked. Could she truly have
conceived a child? How?
Sandra studied a panel below the
monitor. "This verifies the tests. You’re nine weeks
pregnant."
"Nine weeks?" Jess sat up
suddenly. "That’s when we took those anthropologists to
Icelos."
Dryly Sandra said, "Your memory
coming back?"
Jess flushed. "I still can’t
be pregnant."
The doctor gentled her voice. "In
a situation like this, denial isn’t unusual. But you need to
accept it, Jess. You need to decide what you intend to do."
Jess stared at the monitor, watching
her baby’s heart beat. A new life. Incredible. Protective
instincts surged in her, similar to what she felt for Silver Tide.
She glanced at Sandra. "If you’re
asking do I want to give up the child or end the pregnancy, the
answer is no."
Sandra didn’t look surprised.
"Shall I contact the anthropologists?"
Jess’s voice came out sharper
than she intended. "My child’s father is not on Icelos."
She slid off the bed and paced away from the doctor. "I don’t
know how this happened."
Sandra made a frustrated noise. "Fine.
I give up. You had no lover. You conceived out of nothing."
Jess turned around. "I didn’t
say I had no lover."
"Ah." Sandra came over to
her. "Now we’re getting somewhere."
"He can’t be the father."
"You have other candidates?"
"No." Jess fixed Sandra with
what she hoped was a quelling stare. "But he can’t be the
father."
Sandra didn’t look the least bit
quelled. "You know mistakes can happen."
"Not in this case."
"What kind of birth control did
you use?"
"I didn’t."
Sandra snorted. "And you’re
surprised you’re pregnant?"
"I didn’t need any."
"Why? Is he sterile?"
"No. I just didn’t need it."
"I don’t believe you could
be that naïve."
Jess glared at her. "Damn it,
Sandra, let it go."
"Let what go?"
"All right!" Jess crossed her
arms again. "My companion was Ghar Ko. Satisfied?"
Sandra stared at her. "You mean
the Cephean Ambassador?"
Jess wished she could disappear. "Yes."
Sandra finally closed her mouth. "Lord
Almighty."
"What I just told you is
confidential."
"Yes, yes, of course." Sandra
looked as if she couldn’t decide whether to be fascinated or
appalled. "And yes, you’re right. Human beings cannot have
babies with Cepheans."
"Are you sure the child is human?"
Maybe the scientists were wrong. Maybe hybrid offspring could exist.
"Completely human." Sandra
rubbed her chin. "A Cephean male couldn’t impregnate you.
Too many differences exist in the DNA."
"I don’t know what to say."
Jess had yet to sort out how she felt about what had happened. She
certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Sandra. But she had to
file a report, even if she declined to name the nonexistent father.
Although maternity no longer meant an end to active duty on a ship
like Silver Tide, a pregnant captain was hardly routine, especially
an unmarried one. If she didn’t handle this right, she could
lose her command.
Sandra seemed curious now, instead of
flabbergasted. "How does Ambassador Ko feel about it?"
"I don’t know," Jess
admitted. "It just–happened. Then we fell asleep. I woke
up, wrote him a note, and left." Silver Tide had been scheduled
to depart and she couldn’t hold up the ship for her personal
life. Or so she told herself. But she and Ghar could have sent
messages later, via starship. That neither of them had done so
suggested she wasn’t the only one at a loss for words.
Sandra frowned. "I’ve never
known you to be a coward."
"I’m not. I needed time to
think." Ghar probably had too. She had no idea if their liaison
appalled, embarrassed, or shamed him. "If his people learn about
this, it will cause him problems. Cepheans don’t much care for
humans." To put it mildly.
"Apparently one of them does,"
Sandra said dryly. "This could blow up on you big time. Humans
are just as xenophobic towards Cepheans."
"That’s why I haven’t
said anything."
"What are you going to do?"
Good question. Too bad she had no
answer. "What should I do for the baby?"
Although Sandra obviously wanted to
continue the topic of Ghar, she held back, at least for now. Instead,
she switched into her most professional tone. "No alcohol or
caffeine. Sleep more. Avoid zero-g; otherwise the cells in the fetus
might not orient correctly. On the bridge, minimize how long you
spend weightless. No EVAs. Even inside the ship, make sure you always
have radiation protection. If the nausea gets so bad you can’t
eat, let me know."
"All right." That all sounded
manageable.
Sandra spoke more softly. "And
Jess."
"Yes?"
"What happened would be difficult
for anyone to handle. Especially if you had no choice. . . ."
It took Jess a moment to decipher her
meaning. Startled, she said, "It was consensual." She
couldn’t imagine Ghar forcing her. With relations between Earth
and Cepheus already so strained, it would have been madness. It would
shatter the brittle concord between their peoples.
"Could it have happened while you
slept?" Sandra asked. "By someone else?"
Jess blinked. "Of course not."
"Are you sure?"
Jess glanced at the monitor. It gave
the time of conception as the night she had spent with Ghar. But she
couldn’t believe Ghar would be involved in such a strange
deception. She turned back to Sandra. "I’m sure."
"It is hard to imagine,"
Sandra admitted. "If you remember anything, let me know."
In a gentler voice she added, "And if you need to talk, I’m
here."
"Thank you." Jess heard the
stiffness in her voice. "But I’m fine. Really."
She wished she believed that.
Jess walked through the woods in a
deepening twilight. She kept thinking about Sandra’s question:
could this have happened while she slept that night? But how? Someone
would have had to enter Ghar’s home and impregnate her while he
was there. Regardless of whether they used artificial means or
sexual, they would have had to drug her or find some other way to
ensure she didn’t wake up. She didn’t see how they could
have silenced Ghar, and she couldn’t believe he would allow
such violations. To what purpose? It was just too bizarre.
If Ghar had left for a while after she
went to sleep, someone might have broken in during his absence. But
that didn’t make much sense either. If someone in the village
had wanted sex, easier ways existed to find it than sneaking up to
the Cephean ambassador’s home and ravishing his guest in her
sleep. Even if the person had sought the thrill of danger, Jess
didn’t see how he could have infiltrated the well-guarded
Cephean colony or Ghar’s home. And she knew Ghar too well to
believe he would have left her alone long enough for such an
outlandish event to occur.
She had last seen Ghar on Icelos,
during a reception to welcome the anthropologists from Earth. Jess
had never been comfortable at such gatherings. It had been a relief
to leave with Ghar, the two of them deep in conversation. She wasn’t
sure how they had ended up at his home. They had settled on a soft
rug and proceeded to get drunk on that sharp brandy the Icelos colony
produced for export.
Eventually Jess had slumped against his
huge frame, no longer able to sit straight, and he had pulled her
against his chest with his lower arms. He had been using all four
hands to talk by then. Cepheans couldn’t replicate human
speech, and humans couldn’t mimic their language, so the two of
them had conversed by signing. For some reason, they had decided to
"talk" by pressing signs against each other’s torso.
Or maybe that had just been an excuse for their curiosity. It had
soon grown more intimate.
Jess touched the comm on her gauntlet.
Then she leaned against a tree, feeling the roughness of the bark
through her shirt, and gazed into the dusk. The stillness of the
night in the secluded forest helped calm her turmoil.
Her comm chimed. Touching the receive
panel, she said, "Fernández."
"Captain, this is Sandra Bolton. I
received your page."
Jess rested her head against the tree.
"I was wondering how extensive a database you have for DNA
records."
"It’s a big one."
Sandra didn’t sound surprised by the inquiry. "Every time
we link into a major medical system, we update ours. We probably have
over eighty percent of the database for citizens of the Allied Worlds
of Earth."
Jess spoke softly. "So if an
Allied citizen has ever had a medical record made of his DNA, you’ve
a good chance of having it."
"That’s right." Sandra
paused. "We only have a few records from Skolian databases. Our
Icelos files are pretty skimpy."
"Check what you can." Jess
swallowed. "See if you can match my child’s DNA."
"I’ll go through everything
we have."
"Thank you." Jess paused,
unsure what to add. "Good night."
"Good night." In a kindly
voice, Sandra added, "Jess, go home and rest. Don’t
brood."
"Thank you. But I’m fine.
Really."
After they signed off, Jess stood
watching the night. She couldn’t handle this compassionate side
of Sandra; it was easier to be annoyed when the doctor was giving a
lecture. Confronted by a gentle Sandra, Jess feared she might drop
her emotional guards. It would be tantamount to admitting she wasn’t
self-sufficient. She had spent a lifetime proving herself; she
couldn’t bear to ask for help now.
No matter how ill at ease she felt, she
had to see Ghar. He might know what had happened. It wasn’t
something she could tackle long-distance; she needed to see him in
person. And going to Icelos would make it easier to check their
medical databases. But it would take a fortnight to reach the colony,
using most of the leeway in Silver Tide’s schedule.
If she wanted to see Ghar, she couldn’t
hesitate.
II
Stalactite City
Icelos. Jess felt welcomed by the small
world. After she left the starport, she headed into town. She could
have taken a magrail or hitched a ride on a cargo lorry, but she
preferred to go on foot. Warm within her climate-controlled jacket,
she enjoyed walking in the three-quarters gravity.
The Cepheans were biosculpting the
planet, adapting it for settlement. Although Icelos now supported
humanoid life, the environment wasn’t yet comfortable. Even
here at the equator, the warmest zone of the planet, the temperature
usually hovered around freezing. The village resembled a ski town,
with alpine bungalows capped by peaked roofs. Putting her hands in
her pockets, she crunched through the snow, avoiding icy patches on
the cobbled lanes.
The village had a crystalline,
glittering beauty. Jess took a deep breath, savoring the crisp air.
Although she had chafed when Sandra prescribed shore leave, she was
secretly glad the doctor insisted. During the last fortnight, as
Silver Tide had traveled here, Jess had debated whether or not to
send Ghar a message. Her doubts had stopped her. If he had somehow
caused her strange condition, she didn’t want to warn him that
she was coming, lest he find a reason to cut short his visit to
Icelos and return to Earth, where he served as ambassador. So she had
held off.
She had spent the afternoon taking care
of her duties; now she had two days to herself. Of course two days
didn’t amount to much on Icelos, which rotated in only eleven
hours. Regardless, she would make her best effort to see Ghar. Her
emotions tumbled over one another, conflicted and awkward, but she
still looked forward to the visit. As difficult as it was to admit,
she missed Ghar.
When Jess came around a house, her
stride faltered and she stared along the street to the land beyond
the town. Cliffs sheered into a cobalt blue sky, and above them,
jagged mountains rose in cold, primeval splendor. The sunset edged
their crowns like tubes of hot-pink neon. Here in the village, the
snow drifted against the bungalows had turned a luminous pink. Ice
hung in frozen lace from the houses, glittering like rubies.
With an appreciative sigh, she set off
again. Exhaling, she watched her breath condense in the air. As she
passed a bungalow, a spray of ice fell from its roof. Icelos had
slumbered for eons; now the Cepheans were awakening the world. It
seemed fitting; in Greek mythology, Icelos had been the son of
Somnus, the god of sleep. But she suspected Earth’s name for
this world came from deeper in the human subconscious. The mythical
Icelos had been a shape-changer who could turn into different
animals; she often wondered if the name was an oblique, even
unconscious acknowledgement by humans that their Cephean cousins had
once been human and now were Other.
After a while, her gait slowed. She
began to wish she had taken a hovercar. How had the human race
survived so long, when incubating little humans took so much energy?
She trudged on, trying not to think how far it was to home. A few
years ago, the Allied embassy had arranged an apartment here for her,
after the Cepheans requested her diplomatic services. The Cephean
science commission and its Earth counterpart needed a liaison,
someone who regularly traveled between Earth and Icelos, and the
Cepheans already knew Jess from the visits Silver Tide had made.
She smiled wryly, remembering the
dubious response from the Earth commission. As much as her taciturn
bluntness appealed to the Cepheans, it annoyed humans. However,
Allied Space Command liked that she got things done with efficiency
and no fuss, so in the end she had become the liaison.
As sunset faded into a silvered dusk,
Jess plodded to the intersection at Starfarer’s Lane. The sign
at the crossroads looked the same as always, a stone rectangle
hanging from a pole. She had never paid it much attention before, but
today its carved words jumped out at her.
Childcare. The arrow pointed right.
She knew she should continue on home,
rest, eat, sleep. But instead she found herself turning right.
A simple bungalow housed the childcare
center. When Jess opened the door, young voices burbled over her. She
found a cheerful room inside, with white walls adorned by cartoons in
bright red, blue, and yellow. Toys were strewn across the carpeted
floor. Three toddlers played there, watched by a blond woman with a
kind face. The woman glanced at Jess, then did a double-take, her
gaze widening.
Jess hesitated. Self-conscious, acutely
aware of her uniform jacket and trousers, she closed the door.
The woman recovered her composure and
approached with a friendly smile. "Hello, Captain. What can I do
for you?"
Good question. To cover her
uncertainty, Jess said, "We’re expanding a childcare
facility on my ship. I’m interested in how other sites organize
their centers." It was true, actually. A community on Silver
Tide had requested a new center, and Jess had been meaning to have
someone attend the matter. It occurred to her that she ought to do
the attending herself; she might soon be using that center.
"I would be happy to give you a
tour." The woman glanced at the insignia on Jess’s jacket.
With diffidence, she added, "On a ship as big as yours, though,
I’m sure you have much more extensive facilities."
Jess felt more out of her depth here
than she ever had on Silver Tide. She managed a smile. "Size and
quality aren’t the same. I’ve heard yours is a well-run
operation."
The woman beamed. "That it is,
ma’am." She motioned with her hand, inviting Jess forward.
So Jess went on a tour of the center.
In one room, a girl and boy were stacking holographic blocks. Seeing
them, she felt an odd constriction in her chest. Would her baby have
dark curls like the boy? Or perhaps she would be like the girl, her
eyes huge and dark, her sweet face shaped like a heart. But how could
she imagine her child’s appearance when the only paternal
candidate was impossible? So far Sandra had found no genetic match
for the baby, but the DNA was undeniably human.
Jess thought of her parents, their
youth and energy drained from raising five children when they had
resources for no more than one. The unrelenting demands of borderline
urban poverty had ground the joy out of their lives. It had always
made Jess uneasy about starting a family. Now an undefined longing
tugged at her, feelings she had no name for, except that they came
with a flavor of loneliness.
"Captain?" the woman asked.
Startled, Jess realized she had been
standing there, gazing at the children. She spoke softly. "They
seem so happy."
The woman’s voice gentled. "We
do our best."
When the tour finished, Jess and the
woman returned to the main room. About that time, a young couple came
into the center, stamping snow from their boots, laughing together as
they hung their jackets on a peg by the door. One of the toddlers ran
to them, a strapping boy in a blue jumpsuit. The woman swung him into
her arms, grinning when the boy laughed. As she sat in a rocking
chair, the man settled in an armchair next to her, and they chatted
companionably while the woman nursed the child.
After Jess left the center, images of
the family stayed in her mind. She wanted to share this pregnancy
with someone. Ghar. But she feared to tell him. She hated to think he
might have betrayed her trust. If he hadn’t caused this to
happen, he would make the only logical assumption, that she had taken
a human lover that same night. Although she had no way to know how
much he would care, if at all, she didn’t want him to believe
she would betray his trust either.
Hell, what could she say when she had
no idea herself what had happened?
The penthouse took up the top floor of
The Conners, one of the tallest structures in the village, an elegant
tower seven stories high. As Jess entered her darkened apartment, the
curtains across the room parted, probably responding to a command
from Matrix, the Evolving Intelligence that ran the place. He often
altered the ambience, which meant she came home to unexpected
changes. She tended to enjoy it; over the years, he had developed a
sense of her preferences.
The curtains opened on a window that
took up most of the wall. Night had fallen outside, and light from
the star-encrusted sky poured through the window, making the white
carpet glow. Standing in the center of her sunken living room, Jess
gazed out at the night’s beauty. Usually she savored the
spacious dimensions of the place, which fit her height, but tonight
it just made her more aware of its emptiness.
"Matrix," she murmured. "It’s
too dark."
The lights came up slowly, letting her
eyes adjust. The room had simple furniture, elegant and sleek, with
silver accents and plants in blue-glass pots. Relieved to be home,
Jess dropped onto the sofa and pulled off her boots. She stretched
her legs across the blue-glass coffee table, her feet reaching the
other side. Legs that go on forever. A man she had known ten years
ago had told her that.
Her husband.
He had come to London from Norway. They
had spent five years together, with a renewable marriage contract.
Then she became captain of Silver Tide. He didn’t want to leave
Earth and she didn’t want to give up her command, so they had
let their contract lapse. Although they had parted amicably, the loss
had affected Jess deeply, far more than she wanted to admit. Since
then, she had guarded her emotions even more.
Until Ghar.
Perhaps it had been the brandy, or the
unreality of that night. Or maybe she just liked him better than
anyone else she had met, despite his being Cephean. She shook her
head at her folly. You never do things the easy way, do you?
Exhausted, she slumped back and closed her eyes. She knew she should
have dinner, but the thought made her stomach rebel.
Jess sighed. For the baby, she should
eat. Opening her eyes, she noticed a light on a fingertip panel in
the sofa arm. "Yes?" she asked.
"Welcome back, Captain Fernández,"
Matrix said pleasantly. "Can I get you anything?"
"A new stomach," Jess
grumbled.
"I’m sorry, but I can’t
do organ transplants."
She smiled. "How about food?
Something bland. Skim milk to drink."
"I can have the kitchen prepare a
superb bland meal," Matrix assured her. "Would you like
your mail while you wait? You have a message from Doctor Bolton."
Jess almost groaned, but she knew she
shouldn’t avoid her doctor. "Go ahead."
Sandra’s voice crackled.
"Captain, please contact me immediately."
Jess waited. "That’s it?"
"That is it," Matrix said.
She rubbed her chin. "All right.
Contact Doctor Bolton. She’s on the Silver Tide, in orbit."
"Message sent. Would you like
anything else?"
Jess still felt unprepared for this,
even after thinking about it for days. But she made herself answer.
"Yes. Get me the Allied embassy."
"One moment, please." After
several minutes, during which Jess sat like a lump, Matrix said, "I
have Paige Lowell from the embassy."
"Thanks. Put her on audio."
Although Jess had always liked Paige, right now she didn’t feel
up to facing the young woman’s flawless perfection. Somehow the
incomparably beautiful Paige managed simultaneously to appear as
elegant as an old-money heiress and as wholesome as the girl next
door. Add to that her formidable education and rapid advancement in
the diplomatic corps, and she could give even the most confident
person an inferiority complex.
A lovely voice floated into the air,
cultured and gracious. "Hello, Captain Fernández. Welcome
back to Icelos."
"Hi, Paige," Jess said. Then
she winced. She had never quite figured out when she and Paige were
on a first name basis and when they were being formal. So she added,
"Please call me Jess."
"It would be my pleasure. What can
we do for you?"
Jess steeled herself. "I’d
like to see Ambassador Ko. If he’s still here." Cephean
protocol required the Allied embassy on Icelos contact the Cephean
embassy here if Jess wanted to talk to Ghar, even though she already
knew the code for his private comm.
"I will be happy to inquire if his
Excellency can meet with you," Paige said.
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
Jess paused, too tired to think of small talk. "Good-night."
"Good-night, Jess. Have a pleasant
evening."
After they cut the connection, Jess
raked her hand through her hair. Would Ghar respond? More likely, he
wanted to forget their night together.
Matrix suddenly spoke. "I have
Doctor Bolton waiting."
Jess winced. "Just put her on
audio. No visual." If Sandra saw her fatigue, she would launch
into a lecture.
"Incoming," Matrix said.
Sandra’s voice cut the air.
"Jess, are you all right?"
"I’m fine." Jess
shifted on the couch. "Why?"
"You’ve been sick so much it
triggered an alert in your quarters on the ship. Why didn’t you
tell me how bad it was?"
Jess shrugged, then remembered Sandra
couldn’t see. "It’s not bad. I’ve kept some
food down."
The doctor clucked at her. "You’re
too stoic. I gave Matrix an anti-nausea prescription. Take it."
Jess was too tired to argue. "All
right."
More gently, Sandra said, "Are you
really okay?"
Jess felt her emotional defenses going
up. "I’m fine."
"You keep telling me that. Why
don’t I believe it?"
Because you know me too well. Jess saw
a tray rising up inside a glass column that supported the table. A
panel in the table slid open and the tray came to the top. Dinner sat
before her, pasta and vegetables on china. Milk filled a crystal
goblet, and a vase held an orchid.
Jess shook her head, incredulous. She
had grown up with so little, the fifth child of a Spanish father and
Portuguese mother who lived in London. Her parents had been
wanderers, only two in the millions of displaced tech workers, all
scratching for jobs while unemployment in the information sector
spiraled. With more and more intelligent machines able to replace
humans, the need for infotech workers had plunged. Like many others,
her parents ended up in an arbitrary urban center, scraping by with
low-level jobs.
But in this modern age, a wealth of new
jobs existed, including those on the frontier among the stars. Hard
work and scholarships had made it possible for Jess to overcome her
circumstances, yet even after buying her parents and siblings a new
house in an upscale London neighborhood, she found it hard to believe
this new life she had earned for her family.
"Jess?" Sandra asked.
She rubbed her eyes. "My dinner is
here. I have to go."
The doctor spoke kindly. "Don’t
push yourself so hard. You deserve a rest. Give yourself some slack."
"All right." The words didn’t
feel like enough, so she added, "Thanks for the concern."
"You’re welcome."
Sandra’s voice had an odd note, as if she were surprised to
hear Jess thank her.
Am I that difficult a patient? Jess
wondered if Sandra found their interactions painful too. But if so,
why did the doctor persist in giving unasked-for advice? Their lives
would be far easier if Sandra would let up on Jess’s personal
life. Jess doubted that would happen, though. She didn’t
understand why it mattered to Sandra. Maybe the doctor considered it
important to Jess’s job performance; ensuring Silver Tide’s
captain could carry out her duties was one of Sandra’s primary
responsibilities.
Enough brooding. Jess lifted the tray
into her lap, settled back, and made herself eat. True to his word,
Matrix had arranged an excellent dinner. The pasta almost melted in
her mouth. She wished she could enjoy it more.
Matrix had put a patch with the
anti-nausea medicine on the tray. When Jess applied it to her inner
elbow, it blended into her skin, turning golden-brown. She rubbed her
fingers over the patch, remembering how her skin had evoked taunts in
her youth. As the world grew more cosmopolitan, acceptance among
races and cultures had improved, but it still wasn’t perfect.
Jess had learned that lesson the hard way. Circumstances had forced
her to become a fighter at a young age, aided by her height,
strength, and stubborn refusal to back down from bullies. Friendship
had been hard for her in those years, and it had never become easier.
It was strange how life could change.
She had always perceived herself as rough-edged, but years later a
top modeling agency had offered her a contract, lauding her
purportedly "long-limbed grace and exotic style." Her
height, unusual even for a high-fashion model, had intrigued them, as
had her military rank. That had been the rage back then: sleek,
svelte fashion with an undertone of soldierly power. Flustered, she
had thanked them but turned down the job, far more at home with
starship engines than runways.
"I have Ambassador Ko on your
private line," Matrix announced.
Jess swallowed so fast she choked.
Sitting up, she cleared her throat. "Put him on."
"Audio, visual, or both?"
She wasn’t ready to face him on
visual. But they couldn’t talk, and to use sign language they
had to see each other. "Did the ambassador request visual?"
"His human translator contacted me
by audio," Matrix said.
Thank you, Ghar. "Just put on the
audio then."
"Incoming," Matrix said.
Ghar’s translator spoke, his
resonant voice filling the air. "My greetings, Captain
Fernández."
"Good evening, Your Excellency."
"How long does Icelos have the
fortune of your company?"
That sounded like he was glad to hear
from her. Then again, Ghar was a diplomat. He had to sound pleasant.
"I’m here two days."
Jess hesitated. "I thought if you were free, we might, uh . . .
meet for dinner." She winced at the clumsy invitation. As the
Ambassador from Cepheus to the Allied Worlds, Ghar spent most of his
time on Earth. When he traveled, he booked his commitments far in
advance, and his visits to Icelos were packed with obligations. She
waited, her shoulders hunched in anticipation of his refusal.
"Dinner would be acceptable,"
he answered. "Shall we meet at the Junction in half an hour?"
Jess released the breath she had been
holding. He didn’t exactly sound overjoyed, but at least he
hadn’t refused. "Yes. Half an hour."
The Junction reminded Jess of a ski
lodge, with its big fireplace and old-fashioned bar. Located at the
base of the cliffs outside town, it served the human visitors on
Icelos, a sort of last stop before striking out into Cephean
territory. Jess doubted Ghar wanted to eat here; he couldn’t
sit in the chairs and he disliked the food. More likely, he wanted to
take her to the Cephean settlement where he lived when visiting
Icelos.
Jess waited by the bar, watching
musicians play on the stage across the room. She was too restless to
stand still for long. The med patch was working; she hadn’t
felt this good in weeks. Finally she decided to head into the cliffs.
She knew the route Ghar took, so she could meet him on the way.
Despite the strange situation, she looked forward to seeing him.
Cold air hit her face as she left the
lodge. She had worn a sweater over her uniform, a long coat, and
heavy boots, but she still shivered with the chill. It never ceased
to amaze her how Cepheans thrived in this climate. Of course, she
didn’t have a four-inch pelt covering her body.
The road wound steeply up into the
mountains. Gold posts stood at intervals, made from fluted metal,
with smoked-glass lamps hanging from their tops, casting ghostly
light. On her left, a cliff rose into the darkness: on the right, a
wall at chest height bordered the road. Beyond it, a canyon plunged
down for over a kilometer, fading into a heavy mist. Snow crunched
under her boots, deeper here where no machines cleared the lane.
Cepheans liked it this way.
Eons ago this land had been flat.
Underground rivers had hollowed it into a maze of buried limestone
caverns. Water rich with bicarbonate and calcium ions dripped from
cavern ceilings, hardening into stalactites like huge icicles of
rock, or falling to the ground and building up conical stalagmites.
Eventually the land sheered upward, buckling into mountains
honeycombed by caves. It made an eerily beautiful landscape, haunting
and unforgettable.
Jess had seen how it unsettled human
visitors here to know the Cepheans chose this forbidding landscape
for their home when they could easily have settled the plains
instead. Cepheans lived vertically instead of horizontally, a
difference hard to fathom for a species with only two arms. The
Cepheans’ blunt refusal to acknowledge that their way of life
might not suit everyone exacerbated the unease they created in their
human neighbors.
A distant voice startled Jess out of
her reverie. She paused, listening. The voice hadn’t sounded
Cephean, but few humans came up here even in the day, and at night
they avoided the desolate road like a plague.
Up ahead, a path branched off this main
one. She went over and peered down the trail, but the dim light made
it hard to see. Was someone in trouble? Concerned, she headed down
the path. The cliffs on either side leaned inward and met about a
meter above her head. Stretching out her arms, she could touch the
walls of rock on either side. Limestone caves glistened on either
side, with stalactites and stalagmites glazed by frost like stone
icicles, a wonderland of sparkling stone lace. She doubted any human
explorer had yet mapped the full warren of passages up here. The
serenity and deep silence appealed to her, reminding her of the
silent expanses of interstellar space.
She neither saw nor heard anyone,
though, and she couldn’t spend too long here, lest she miss
Ghar on the main path. Finally she headed back. As she passed a cave
on her right, a glint behind a stalagmite caught her eye. It came
from . . . what? A small cage? It was so well hidden, she had missed
it before. Pausing, she stepped into the cave and knelt by the cage.
Mewling greeted her. A furry white
animal butted its head against the bars, its pointed ears quirked
forward. It resembled a comalkos, a popular pet among Cepheans,
possibly descended from an early form of Earth feline. Looking more
closely, she realized it actually was a kitten.
"What are you doing out here?"
She scratched its head, pushing her fingers through the bars. It
purred at her.
Scraping sounds caught her attention.
Peering around, she realized the cave held many cages, all with cats.
She doubted they belonged here. And she had heard a voice before–
Responding with instincts tempered by
decades of experience, Jess jumped up and took off, striding back to
the main road. She could come back with security officers from town.
If the animals were legal, no problem. But hiding cats in these
mountains was too strange to ignore.
Her footsteps crunched on rock. The
natural chambers on either side of the path magnified sound–and
so Jess distinctly heard the words, even from some distance behind
her:
"Shit. She saw the cages."
Jess didn’t pause to question–she
just burst into a run.
She never heard the knife sing through
the air, but she couldn’t miss the crackle as it sliced her
overcoat and sweater. The blade cut deep into her side. Another knife
hit her leg, ripping through her uniform. Lord only knew how those
blades were made, if they could so easily rip through layers of
reinforced cloth. Part of her mind instinctively recoiled from the
attack, but the rest of her concentration narrowed into a tight focus
as her training took over. It happened too fast for her to feel pain.
Yet.
As she ran, the tatters of her overcoat
flapped around her legs, making her stumble. Jess yanked off the coat
and threw it down, never slowing. Her injured leg felt like putty,
and dizziness threatened. At the back of her mind, she thought of the
life she had to protect, the child inside of her, and she managed
another spurt of speed.
By the time Jess reached the main path,
her sprint had turned into a stagger. Her heart was pounding so hard,
her entire body shook with it. She lurched across the road and hit
the wall that separated it from the chasm. Before she could catch her
balance, hands grabbed her from behind and swung her around, slamming
her against the wall. Jess found herself staring at a tall man who
looked like his name ought to be Buzz, as in an electrified
chain-saw,
"Now you’ve done it,"
he said through clenched teeth. Two more people came out of the side
path and sprinted toward them, a stocky man with red hair and a gaunt
woman.
Jess strained to breathe. "What do
you want?"
Instead of answering, Buzz heaved her
upward. In that instant, the woman reached them. Without hesitation,
she aided Buzz, yanking up Jess’s legs, sending pain blazing
through the wound. Jess’s icy calm snapped into the cold fury
that came over her in combat. She smacked her hands against Buzz’s
elbows and shoved inward, breaking his hold. At the same time, she
brought up her knee hard. He choked, dropping his arms and doubling
up, his face contorted. As the woman shoved Jess up the wall, Jess
kicked out at her. A loud crack rent the air and the woman shouted,
falling backward, her left hand clenched on her right arm, which was
bent now at an odd angle.
Jess had no time to wonder why the
bloody hell they wanted to kill her. The second man was already
lunging at her, bringing down the knife-edge of his hand. He mistimed
the blow, as fighters often did in unfamiliar gravity. With her more
extensive training, Jess easily blocked it, but she still reeled
under the impact when the blow hit her arm.
Buzz was coming back at her now, his
face set in hard lines, and the woman wasn’t far behind him. As
Jess fought off the second man, her muscles straining, Buzz caught
her again. With the woman’s help, he pushed Jess up the wall.
Jess tried to stop them, tried to wrench free, but she couldn’t
take on three at once, not with her injuries. Her leg responded only
sluggishly and a deep burning seared her side. They pushed her up the
wall–
And her hips cleared the top.
Jess went rigid, with nothing but air
and a canyon at her back. In that moment, as she faced her death, she
thought with cold clarity, You have no right. It enraged her that
they could so cavalierly murder the mystery child she had come to
treasure. She twisted hard, to the side, toward the road. Her efforts
wrenched her out of their grip, but–ah, no!–she fell,
fell, fell–
And hit the road with a crash that
slammed out the air in her lungs. A man’s scream reverberated
in the air, splitting the night. Jess jerked up her head–
And froze.
Caught in the light from a lamp, a
giant towered above them. Fiery red-gold fur covered his body and a
mane of curls swept back from his face to his shoulders. Huge muscles
rippled in his legs and arms, visible through his trousers and tunic.
His shoulders had immense breadth and width, with massive blades that
extended down his body to accommodate his second pair of arms. His
lips were drawn back, baring fangs more than two inches long. His
tail whipped through the air, six feet long and as thick as a man’s
body where it met his back. His lower arms were reaching for what his
upper pair already held high over his head: the man Buzz.
As Jess stared, the ambassador from
Cepheus to Earth threw his human captive into the canyon.
III
Cavern of Ladders
Jess drifted awake, warm but
unaccountably stiff. Why did her quarters have a musky scent? Silver
Tide usually smelled sanitized. She stretched–and pain shot
through her body.
"Ah!" She snapped awake. Oh,
hell. She wasn’t on Silver Tide. She was about to be hefted
into a canyon.
Opening her eyes, she stared across a
dimly lit room; no cliff, just a polished stone chamber. The tables
and desks were double-tiered, designed for two pairs of arms, and a
few feet taller than what humans would build. She was lying on a
stone floor, on a rug, with her back against a padded wall. Another
rug covered her, soft on her skin. Jess recognized the furs. Cepheans
made them from a silken material they sheared off an animal called
the abryr, one of the few Cephean words humans could pronounce, said
with a growl in the throat.
Despite the cushion of blankets, the
ground was rough beneath her. A ridge ran under her waist and another
under her torso. She wore nothing except a shift and two bandages,
one around her waist and the other around her thigh.
Memory returned: cats, the attack,
Ghar. She had lost so much blood; then she had lost consciousness.
The wall behind her shifted.
For an instant Jess was too startled to
move. Then she rolled onto her back, carefully, favoring her
injuries. The "wall" behind her was alive.
Oh, Lord. She was staring at the chest
of a Cephean sleeping on his side. A large Cephean. The "ridges"
she had felt under her body were his arms; he was holding her around
her waist and torso. She lay in a cage of limbs, four to be exact. It
was so strange, and so unexpected, that she couldn’t even react
at first.
Finally she said, "Ghar?" Her
voice rasped.
He continued to sleep.
She tried again. "Ghar? Can you
hear me?"
His lashes lifted, revealing two brown
eyes, dark and liquid. He blinked as if trying to fathom her
presence. Then his hands shifted, his claws retracted so he didn’t
jab her. He moved them against her back, signing in the language used
by the deaf. It was the method of conversing they had tried before, a
playful experiment that had ended up communicating far more than they
had intended, or at least more than they had been willing to admit.
Do you hurt? he asked.
Jess was too self-conscious to think
how she felt about his touching her, beyond her confusion at the
situation and his presence. She signed against his chest, her fingers
buried in his fur. I’m all right. Where is this?
You came here the last time you
visited. His fingers stilled. Then, carefully, he added, Maybe you
forgot.
Oh. Now she recognized the place. His
rooms. They had spent the night here, on this pile of blankets in
fact. He had just offered her a chance to pretend it never happened.
She wondered how he would explain, if she chose to develop amnesia,
why she was in bed with him now.
I remember, she signed.
The rigid muscles in his arms relaxed.
I too.
I have another memory, she signed. But
it must be a mistake.
What memory?
You threw a man into the chasm.
His hand made a claw on her back. Your
memory is not a mistake.
She stared at him. Ghar, why?
You were covered with blood, one breath
from dying.
Grateful as she was at his
intervention, her unease grew as she absorbed the implications of his
actions. The few times a Cephean had injured a human, it had provoked
outrage on Earth; reports of the incidents glittered with invective,
their censure stretching like a metallic tissue that looked strong
but ripped easily, exposing the underlying panic humans felt when
confronted by neighbors who were just human enough to make their
immense differences terrifying. What would happen when it became
known that the Cephean ambassador, the one they were supposed to
trust, had murdered a man?
Jess signed slowly. If you hadn’t
come, I would be dead. I am grateful, more than I can say. But we
have trouble.
He answered tiredly. Your authorities
demand my extradition.
How long have I’ve been here?
About two Icelos days.
Good Lord. Twenty-two hours. Her ship
would be behind schedule now. Why didn’t my crew take me?
They wanted to.
What stopped them?
He paused. That answer connects to my
second crime.
What second crime?
Holding a Space Corps officer hostage.
Bloody hell. I’m not a hostage.
They think you are.
You won’t let them see me?
His intransigence came through his
signing. No.
Ghar, this is nuts.
They might harm you.
Jess didn’t know what to think.
She had believed he would want to forget what happened; never had she
expected him to react with the same possessive intensity a Cephean
would direct toward his Cephean mate.
He signed on her back. Why were those
people trying to kill you?
I don’t know. I only saw a bunch
of cats.
Cats?
In cages, hidden in a cave. She tensed.
What happened after I saw you on the road?
Your other attackers ran. I pursued.
And then? Her hand clenched in his fur.
Ghar caught her fingers. I killed no
one else.
Jess let out the breath she had been
holding. That is good to know.
His growl rumbled. I might have killed
them, if you hadn’t needed my attention more.
Well, no one had ever claimed Cepheans
were peaceful. But she would have never predicted this from Ghar.
Your authorities want proof you still
live, he added.
I’m not surprised. She hoped
Sandra hadn’t told them about the pregnancy, but she knew if
the doctor feared for Jess’s life, Sandra would speak up
regardless of how confidential Jess wanted the matter. The security
people on Silver Tide would make the obvious assumption: if they
knew, Ghar probably did as well. No one could fully predict his
response, but he obviously was no more likely than anyone else to
believe he was the only candidate for proud papa. Given his recent
behavior, Security had good reason to think Jess’s life might
be at risk.
Although Jess didn’t think Ghar
would kill her, she couldn’t be sure. About one thing she had
no doubt: if Ghar murdered a lieutenant colonel in the Space Corps, a
starship commander who served as an Earth-Cepheus liaison, all hell
would break loose.
Jess signed against his chest. I must
return to Silver Tide. She tried to sit up, and pain shot through her
torso, followed by a rush of nausea. With a groan, she lay down
again.
He set his lower arm across her waist,
pinning her. You must go nowhere.
Jess recognized her nausea. Apparently
Sandra’s med patch wasn’t 100 percent effective. Either
that, or this was more serious than morning sickness. What if she had
lost the baby? No. She couldn’t have miscarried. Surely Ghar
would have known. But would he understand? Jess didn’t know how
to ask. She was vulnerable now, undefended if he thought she had
betrayed him.
Who patched me up after the attack? she
asked.
Me.
So he hadn’t let a Cephean doctor
see her. It made sense; it would have provoked questions he probably
wanted to avoid. Did I have other injuries? she asked. Bleeding
anywhere else?
No. Only the two wounds.
Relief poured over her. Still, she
needed to be sure. I should be checked by a human doctor.
A growl rumbled in his throat. You
should stay here.
She tried to decipher his expression.
Although fur covered his face, it wasn’t long except where a
human man would have a beard. Most humans found Cephean faces
difficult to read, but she had learned to judge Ghar’s moods.
Right now he looked uncertain.
She signed, Your government can’t
like my being here any more than mine does.
His gaze didn’t waver. Bor
supports my decisions.
Bor? As in Bor Chi? You mean the
Cephean First Councilor?
Yes.
Good Lord. If Ghar called one of the
most influential leaders on his home world by a personal name, he was
placed even higher in his government than she had realized. Bor Chi
gives you his protection?
In public. His fingers slowed on her
back. In private, he asks if I am insane.
But he stands by your decisions?
Yes.
Why?
He trusts my judgment. After a pause,
Ghar added, He is also the older brother of my aunt’s husband.
So. Kin ties. They were strong among
Cepheans, apparently even in a hostage situation. Except she wasn’t
a hostage. At least she hoped she wasn’t.
Why won’t you let a human doctor
see me? she asked.
He stiffened. Humans tried to kill you.
Three people tried to kill me. Not all
humans.
Maybe.
Why do you suddenly distrust humans?
His claws scraped her back. I have
always distrusted humans.
That gave her pause. It never showed.
My job was to overcome distrust.
What has changed?
Overcoming distrust is a euphemism for
taking risks. He regarded her steadily. I have no intention to risk
your life.
Jess felt as if a crystal sculpture of
great value were shattering before her eyes, falling as she grabbed
for it, her lunge too late to stop its destruction. You can’t
let the trust between our peoples–a trust you’ve worked
for ten years to build–be destroyed this way.
I have no choice.
Yes, you do. Ghar, you do your job
well. We need you. Both my people and yours.
It’s too late, Jess.
It isn’t! I can go back. Tell the
truth.
A rumble thrummed within his chest. It
isn’t safe.
Jess scowled at him, holding it long
enough so he had plenty of time to decipher the expression. It is my
decision. Not yours.
He answered with only another rumble,
but she recognized that growl. He always made it in protest, when he
was about to give in on an argument but didn’t want to tell
her.
I will talk to the authorities, she
added. Tell them you saved my life.
I don’t want you to go back.
As much as she wanted to deny his
suspicions, Jess had to consider them. Few humans visited this
colony, and the Port Authority kept tabs on all visitors, which
probably meant they knew the identities of the people who tried to
kill her. If the PA had a more covert link to her attackers, such as
turning a blind eye to their activities in return for bribes, she
could end up dead if she contacted them, an unfortunate "incident"
that would be blamed on Ghar.
She frowned. If she discussed the
situation with anyone on her ship, over a distance comm, the PA might
have a way to eavesdrop. Considering, she signed, We can bring
someone here from Silver Tide.
It isn’t possible to contact
them.
Jess wasn’t buying it. Although
Ghar had no obvious comm in his home, she knew perfectly well that
his apartment had modern technology; it was just hidden to make his
home fit with the spare ambiance of the colony. She thumped her fist
on his chest. We need to do this, Ghar.
After a silence, he signed, No military
personnel.
All right. She knew him well enough to
recognize that his lack of an overt refusal was the closest he would
come to expressing his acceptance. She thought about her crew. Who
among the civilians could best deal with what looked like some
bizarre illegal import operation? Jack O’Brien, possibly.
How about the Allied Services? she
asked. They work with smugglers.
No more than three of them. Concern
showed in his gaze. Do you hurt? They can bring medicine to blunt the
pain.
I’m fine. She didn’t want
to risk any drugs during her pregnancy unless they were absolutely
necessary, but this wasn’t the time to explain why.
Just when was a good time, she had no
idea.
Even in the staid uniform of the Allied
Services, with his unruly hair combed, Jack O’Brien still
looked like a pirate to Jess. He came with two assistants, a man and
woman, both in AS uniforms. All three settled on a rug in the main
room of Ghar’s home.
Jess sat with them, wearing a shift
made from one of Ghar’s tunics. Although on him it reached only
to his hips, on her it came below the knees. She had put her arms
through the upper sleeves, rolling them up to free her hands. To pull
in the billows of cloth, she tied the lower sleeves behind her
back–loosely. Even if her uniform hadn’t been ripped and
bloodied, its tight fit would have bothered her. She was almost three
months pregnant; soon she could no longer keep her situation private.
Ghar sat to her right on a blocky
stool, looming over them, silent and formidable. No one missed the
hostility in his position or posture.
"Ambassador Ko saved my life,"
Jess continued, speaking to Jack O’Brien. His female assistant
served as translator, signing for Ghar, while his male assistant
recorded their words on a palmtop.
Jack regarded her intently, as if
trying to decipher what lay behind her words. "Then you and his
Excellency were already planning to meet that night?"
"That’s right." She
suspected Jack had been trained to read body language; in his line of
work, the skill would be invaluable. He might be able to tell if she
were lying or withholding information. So she just said, "Ambassador
Ko and I often work together."
Jack nodded, his gestures restrained.
He didn’t give the impression he disbelieved her; his wariness
seemed more due to Ghar’s presence. As he spoke, his assistant
signed. "We’ll give your full statement to the
authorities."
"Good." Jess exhaled. "This
situation is already too volatile. We need to cool it down."
Jack nodded. "Your talking to us
ought to alleviate matters." He spoke with an assurance probably
meant more to ease Ghar’s enmity than to reassure her.
"I hope so." Jess shook her
head. "All over some cats. I don’t get it."
"They aren’t cats." He
leaned forward. "You stumbled into a delivery by a cartel the AS
has been after for years. My department has never worked on that
case, so our data is limited, but we do know the cartel has moved
business through here before. The port is small and no one pays it
much attention." Dryly he added, "The smugglers probably
never expected the captain of a major Allied starship to show up."
It still made no sense to Jess. "Why
not just get a permit to import comalki? It can’t be all that
expensive."
"Those aren’t comalki."
"They looked like cats."
Jack pushed his hand through his hair,
making them revert to their more usual disheveled state. "The
animals carry a virus. It’s what the cartel actually sells. If
the altered comalkos bites you, you’re sick." Glancing at
Ghar, he shifted his weight. "The virus is deadly to Cepheans."
Ghar signed. "How deadly?"
Jack blew out a gust of air. "Let
those animals loose here and you’d have a killer plague, fast
and vicious."
Jess stared at him. Was the cartel
insane? Icelos was a world of the Skolian Imperialate, which had a
formidable military that protected its own with legendary ferocity.
Most Skolians were human, and Jess had no idea how they felt about
Cepheans–but if they learned an Earth cartel had killed an
entire colony of their citizens, any citizens, their retribution
would be fast and harsh. The Allied Worlds of Earth would have little
chance against them.
She clenched her hand in the cloth of
her shift. "The cartel is out of their minds."
"Not crazy. Greedy." Jack’s
face had paled. "They’d have received a monstrous payment
for that shipment from a fanatic group that wants to kill all the
Cepheans. And hell, if it had started a war, it would’ve
benefited the cartel’s black market." Turning, he spoke
more quietly to Ghar. "Your Excellency, be assured that these
extremists in no way represent the Allied Worlds of Earth. We greatly
value our relations with your people and wish to continue in good
will."
Ghar answered with sharp signs. Such
fanatics also exist among my people. They feel similarly about
humans.
Jess tried to gauge his mood, but she
couldn’t read him. He made no sound as Jack’s assistant
translated his signs.
Jack spoke grimly. "We’ll
punish the cartel. Count on it."
Ghar didn’t answer, he just
watched the AS agents. Now Jess recognized his stare; he was only
thinking, but on the face of a Cephean, the expression looked
murderous. When Jack shifted uneasily, she spoke quickly, to defuse
the tension. "Are those altered comalki immune to this virus?"
Jack glanced at her, relief in his
gaze. "They aren’t really comalki either. They’re
chimeras."
The word sounded vaguely familiar. "I
take it you don’t mean that in the literary sense," Jess
said.
"In a biological sense," Jack
said. "To engineer a chimera, you mix DNA from two species."
She finally remembered where she had
heard the word, in a long-ago college course. "Isn’t a
chimera some kind of mythological beast–head of a lion, tail of
a dragon or something? Breathed fire at people it didn’t like."
He smiled slightly. "That’s
where it originated. In biology it refers to a hybrid animal.
Chimeras are easiest to make using similar species, like lions and
tigers, or comalki and cats."
She could see where he was going. "So
this virus would kill either a comalkos or a cat, but the chimera
survives."
"That’s right." He
glanced uneasily at Ghar. "Cepheans like comalki, so the cartel
found a variant of the animal that could carry the virus."
"Gods," Jess muttered.
Ghar growled deep in his throat, his
lower hands fisted on his knees. He signed with his upper. "Why
don’t you stop these smugglers?"
Jack sat up straighter, his posture
stiffened as if he were preparing to protect himself. "They’ve
managed to stay a step ahead of us. But if Captain Fernández
testifies against them, it could give us the chink we need to bring
down their operation."
Jess thought about three complete
strangers trying to throw her into the canyon, killing not only her,
but also her child. She regarded Jack steadily. "I will
testify."
Ghar snarled, and she needed no
translator to know he said, ‘No!’ in Cephean. His lips
drew back and his teeth glinted like daggers. Then he bared his
claws, which were longer than his fangs.
Jack blanched, but he didn’t back
down. "We need her testimony."
Jess signed to Ghar. I will be in no
danger.
He answered in his own language, a
series of growls. She had trouble with the words, but it sounded like
the equivalent of "They will kill you."
"They won’t hurt me."
She spoke slowly so he could decipher what, to him, was a
high-pitched, sing-song lilt. "I will have protection."
Jack O’Brien was staring at her.
"You understand him?"
Jess glanced at him, distracted.
"Some."
He whistled. "That’s
supposed to be impossible."
Thinking of her child, she answered
dryly. "Many things are impossible. That doesn’t stop them
from happening." She had to change the subject before Ghar
decided Jack was endangering her life and hefted him out a window.
"How did the cartel get started?"
"A wealthy collector set it up
about thirty-five years ago," Jack said. "He wanted Cephean
rugs in his collection."
"Why didn’t he just buy
them?" she asked, incredulous. Granted the rugs were expensive,
but their prices weren’t exorbitant, especially for the
wealthy.
"He didn’t want abryr rugs."
Jack glanced at Ghar as if weighing whether to continue. "He
wanted Cephean pelts."
Jess stiffened as if she had been
kicked. She had heard stories of people who skinned Cepheans for
their fur, but she had never credited them before.
Ghar signed hard, using all four hands
to emphasize his message. Humans are sick.
Please don’t judge us all by the
aberrations of a few, Jess signed. I’m human too.
He answered in his own language. "You
are unique."
Jack was watching with them open
curiosity–until Ghar fixed him with a hostile glare. Flushing,
Jack immediately recomposed his face to show a lack of interest.
Ghar spoke through the translator. "Did
this collector get his pelts?"
Jack shook his head. "No. None.
Our authorities caught the hunters he sent to Cepheus. But none of
the hunters would talk. We couldn’t gather the evidence to
convict him."
"He went free?" Ghar’s
angry incredulity showed in his the motion of his hands. "To
murder again?"
Jack hesitated. "He didn’t
send any more hunters."
"You evade my question," Ghar
said.
"You won’t like the answer."
"Tell it anyway."
Jack exhaled. "He wanted specialty
pelts."
A foreboding was building within Jess,
and this time her nausea didn’t come from pregnancy. "What
kind of specialty?"
Jack turned to her. "From
Cephean-human chimeras. It would give fur with the richness of
Cephean pelts, the silkiness of human hair, and colors you couldn’t
get from a pure Cephean."
Jess was gripping the sleeves of her
shift so tightly, her fingernails gouged her palms. "Are you
telling me this madman created Cephean-human chimeras and skinned
them?"
Jack answered quietly. "No. His
people never succeeded in making a viable chimera."
Ghar signed sharply. "Why didn’t
you stop him?"
"We had no proof."
Frustration showed on Jack’s face. "To create a smooth
pelt, the chimera would have to express Cephean genes, yet still have
the desired human traits. That kind of selectivity requires methods
more sophisticated than we have now, decades later. Back then it
couldn’t be done at all." He shook his head. "What
could we arrest him on? Researching chimeras isn’t illegal."
The light glinted on Ghar’s
fangs. "Only a human would let such a monster go free."
"He was arrested." Jack gave
him a wintry smile. "For evading interstellar import taxes. He
did time."
"Not enough." Ghar regarded
him coldly. "It couldn’t have been enough."
No, Jess thought. It could never be
enough.
Windows in the main room of Ghar’s
home overlooked a cavern. The Cephean colonists lived in apartments
cut from the walls of the great cave, their homes stacked up for ten
stories, Cephean stories, double the height humans built. No lifts
served the cavern; instead, vertical staircases ran up the walls like
ladders, forming throughways much as humans built roads. Among the
crowds of Cepheans climbing in the city of ladders, Jess saw many
pelt colors, from common browns to rarer grays. None resembled the
dramatic fiery color of Ghar’s fur.
A rustle came from behind Jess. In her
side vision, she saw Ghar join her at the window. They stood
together, gazing at the cavern. It felt odd having him tower over
her; Jess was used to being taller than most people.
After a moment Jess turned to him. He
signed to her. Do your injuries hurt?
I’m all right. Although she ached
all over, she could handle it. You’ve been very quiet about
what Jack O’Brien told us.
He unsheathed his claws, and they
curved like miniature scythes. What is there to say? That I want to
kill humans?
Jess stiffened.
Not you. His signing slowed, and he
touched her cheek with his claw. I wish to do to humans what I hate
them wanting to do to Cepheans.
Jess froze, acutely aware of the honed
point against her skin.
Watching her, Ghar sheathed his claws.
Then he lowered himself onto a tall stool by the window. Even seated,
he was slightly taller than Jess. He drew her forward until she was
standing between his legs, then locked his lower arms around her
waist and signed with his upper. Bor Chi has ruled that I have no
guilt in the death of the smuggler, but your people don’t
agree. It means I can never return to the territory of the Allied
Worlds. When you leave here, I can see you no more. He paused. So you
will not leave.
Jess knew he spoke in anger. If he
forced her to stay, it would be a disaster, one she doubted he wanted
any more than she did. I have to go. But I will find ways to visit
you.
No.
You may not feel that way when you hear
what I have to say.
Why?
Will you first answer a question?
His gaze searched her face. Ask.
Do you know your parents?
Of course.
That stopped her. If he knew his
parents, her suspicions had no basis. Do you see them often?
They died.
Jess signed regret. I am sorry.
His tail twitched through the air. I
never really knew them. It happened right after my birth. Our
transport crashed in the snow. Hikers found me two days later.
Jess stared at him. How could a newborn
survive alone, in the snow, for two days?
I don’t know. But I did.
She braced herself. I don’t
believe the child in that transport lived. Someone took his body and
put you in his place.
His lips drew back in an expression
that, if Jess hadn’t known meant amusement, she would have
believed was a snarl. Your imagination is fertile, he signed.
So is my body.
What?
Jess took a deep breath. During my last
visit to the colony you were the only–She stopped. My only
companion.
His tail curled over his shoulder and
its tip stroked her hair. I know you don’t expect me to share
you. I wouldn’t have been with you otherwise.
I’m glad you know that, Ghar.
Because I’m pregnant.
He regarded her blankly. What?
I’m pregnant.
I have a trouble with your signing. I
don’t understand your word.
Pregnant. I’m going to have a
baby. Yours.
His growl rumbled. It isn’t
amusing, Jess.
She laid his hand on her abdomen. I
carry a child.
Ghar pulled back his hand, his claws
unsheathing, points glittering. If you have a child, it is not mine.
Jess hoped she hadn’t just signed
her death warrant. There was no one else. It must be yours.
It cannot be. I am not human.
Yes. You are.
His tail snapped through the air like a
whip. Stop mocking me.
I’m not. Jess pushed back the
tendrils of hair that had curled around her face. Ever since I
learned about the baby, I’ve been trying to understand. After
we talked to Jack, I knew.
You think this sick collector made me
for his collection.
Yes. But his people must have decided
they couldn’t go through with it, raising you to be murdered
for your fur.
This is how you explain your
infidelity? His claws glinted as he signed. I would have expected
better from you.
I can prove it. The doctor on my ship
can compare our DNA with the fetus. She’ll know, Ghar.
She will say what you command her to
say.
You know me better than that.
I thought I did. I was wrong.
You weren’t wrong.
So you claim. Ghar considered her. Very
well. I will do these tests. His gaze turned implacable. Pray they
don’t prove you a liar.
Jess watched from Ghar’s
apartment high in the cavern, while far below Sandra walked with her
Cephean escort. Next to their towering forms, the doctor looked like
a silver-haired child. Stairs led up to Ghar’s apartment,
turning into ladders as the walls became vertical. It took a long
time for Sandra and her escort to climb, but finally they disappeared
from Jess’s view behind a ridge in the cavern. She waited,
trying in vain to keep her muscles from knotting any tighter with her
tension.
The front door of the apartment opened.
A few moments later Sandra appeared in the wide entrance of the room
where Jess waited. The doctor was alone; as instructed, the escort
had left after delivering her. It was the second time in the past day
Jess had seen her.
A heavy tread came from across the
room. Turning, Jess saw Ghar in the entrance to an inner chamber. He
stood with his lower arms braced against the sides of the doorway and
his upper arms against the top. His tail whipped around his body,
then settled down.
Sandra’s gaze flicked from Ghar
to Jess. "I’ve finished the analysis." She paused as
Jess signed for Ghar. Then Sandra spoke directly to him. "I am
deeply sorry, your Excellency."
Ghar watched Jess sign, then turned to
Sandra. "Why sorry?"
The doctor spoke quietly. "Someone
played with your genetics on a scale like none I’ve ever seen.
You have human DNA throughout your body. The mingling is so extensive
I doubt it can be fully mapped." She took a breath. "You’re
a chimera, Ambassador Ko. You combine the heredity of two people. And
one of those is human."
"No!" Ghar signed.
"I’m sorry," Sandra
repeated softly.
He signed fast and sharp. "If my
DNA had anomalies, it would have shown up in my ID scans."
"ID scans don’t go into
enough detail. Cephean DNA is barely different from human, less than
2 percent." Sandra stopped while Jess caught up with her
signing. When the doctor spoke again, excitement leaked into her
voice. "Your DNA map is incredible. The subtlety is like nothing
I’ve ever seen. To reveal the differences between yours and
that of a normal Cephean, I had to do a much more extensive set of
tests than any you’ve probably had before."
Ghar said nothing, just stood like a
statue.
"And the baby?" Jess was so
wound up she forgot to sign her question. Then, remembering, she
repeated it for Ghar.
"Most of Ambassador Ko’s
tissues express Cephean genes," Sandra said. "But his germ
cells are human. Chimeras are usually sterile, but they don’t
have to be. He produces some functional human sperm." She
glanced at Ghar. "Your Excellency, you are the father of Captain
Fernández’s child."
Ghar answered in his own language. "It
is impossible." His growls rolled through the room.
As Sandra’s forehead furrowed,
Jess said, "He doesn’t believe you."
Sandra regarded them both with her
painful compassion. "I can only give you the results. I can’t
make them what you want to hear."
Jess started to sign the words to Ghar,
but he abruptly turned and left the room.
Sandra exhaled, looking at Jess. "I’m
sorry. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true."
Jess just nodded. What could she say?
That she wanted to ram Silver Tide down the throat of whoever had
done this to Ghar? True as that might be, it solved nothing.
"The results probably explain a
lot to him," Sandra said.
"What do you mean?"
"They showed up a slew of
anomalies." Sandra shook her head. "For one thing, whoever
played with his cells didn’t get the lower arms right.
Apparently he’s had them broken and reset in an attempt to fix
them. He has metal rods in both to extend their length to what’s
normal for a Cephean."
Jess could imagine what Ghar’s
people would do if they discovered the true reason for his problems.
"Sandra, you must keep this confidential."
"Unless you and Ambassador Ko
choose otherwise, no one but the three of us will ever know."
Jess hesitated to ask her next
question; nothing Sandra could say would make this easier. But her
curiosity persisted. "Do you know what Ghar would have been like
as a human?"
"Irish, I think. His hair and eyes
would be the same color they are now." The doctor looked
apologetic. "That’s about all I can tell."
As hard as it was to imagine him as
human, it wasn’t impossible. In her mind, Jess could see a
burly Irishman striding across green hills on Earth, his red curls
whipping back from his face, his beard thick and full. It hurt to
envision what could never be.
And Ghar? She couldn’t imagine
how he would deal with this, knowing he carried within himself the
identity of a people he distrusted, even hated now. How would he
reconcile his knowledge of the hostile parts that constituted his
whole?
"I have to talk to him," Jess
said. "Alone."
"And then?"
"I’ll come back to Silver
Tide."
Relief washed across Sandra’s
face. "I’ll send up an air stretcher."
"I can walk."
Sandra gave a familiar scowl. "I
have eyes. I can see you hurt."
The last thing Jess wanted was people
fussing over her. More than ever, she and Ghar needed privacy now.
"I’ll be all right." She thought of the many
staircases she had to navigate to reach the cavern floor. "I
will rest here first, though."
Sandra didn’t look thrilled, but
she accepted the compromise. "One day. That’s all."
After Sandra left, Jess limped through
the apartment. She found Ghar in his bedroom, sitting on a stool and
staring at nothing. She almost stopped out of reach of his claws;
then she decided to trust her judgment and went to stand before him.
Do you want to be alone? she asked.
No. He sheathed his claws and touched
her face with his upper left hand. I thought you lied to explain the
baby. I misjudged you. I am sorry.
She felt how much that admission cost
him. I understand.
Will you go back to Silver Tide with
your friend?
My friend?
The doctor.
She blinked. Where did you get the idea
Sandra Bolton is my friend?
He moved his lower hands in a
horizontal motion, palms down, the closest equivalent Cepheans had to
a shrug. You interact with each other as do humans I have seen who
call each other friend.
All we do is argue.
In my experience, this is not an
unusual way for humans to express friendship.
Jess didn’t know what to make of
that, at least in the context of Sandra. She drives me nuts.
She cares what happens to you.
Jess would never have used the word
friendship for her strained relationship with the doctor. And yet . .
. she wasn’t sure how to define friendship. She had guarded her
emotions for so long, maybe she could no longer see what lay in front
of her.
Or sat.
She regarded Ghar silently, aware of
him watching her back. To grapple with this business of love, she
could have chosen a far less difficult path than involvement with a
Cephean. But this was the path she had to walk, and so she would, if
she could only figure out how.
Ghar brushed his fingers down her arm.
Incredibly, you and I have made a child. At least for this I am
pleased.
I too. It was the truth. But she
couldn’t relax with him. Not yet. When he drew her forward, she
put her palms against his shoulders, keeping him at bay. He had his
lower arms around her, his muscles ridged against her back. She
touched the two-inch fang that came down over his lip, white against
the curls of his beard. A slightly harder push on the tip of that
incisor would draw blood from her finger.
Pulling away her hand, she signed to
him. Does this response of yours mean I need not fear for my life?
His lips drew back in a snarl, though
she knew he was showing dismay rather than rage. Using his upper
hands, he signed with determination. I would never kill you. Never.
Even if you thought I lied about the
child’s father?
Even if that. A low rumble came from
his chest, not anger, but another emotion, sorrow perhaps. I would
have sent you away and advised Bor to cut ties with Earth.
I would never betray your trust. Jess
spoke evenly. But if I had, it wouldn’t be worth destroying
relations between our peoples.
It was a moment before Ghar responded.
A few days ago I would have agreed. Right now it is hard to remember
why I ever wanted to establish trust with your people. It would have
been the final blow to discover you had treated what passed between
us with such disregard as to end up with another man’s child on
that same night. His signing slowed, as if his hands were weary. In
time, my common sense would have prevailed. But by then, the damage
may have been beyond repair.
She gentled her motions. I understand,
Ghar. But I must return to Silver Tide.
After a long pause, he signed, You are
free to leave.
Only then did her posture ease. Putting
her arms around his neck, she laid her cheek against his shoulder.
He held her with all four arms and
signed against her spine, his large hands covering most of her back.
You should have the doctor send someone up with an air-stretcher.
I don’t need one. I’m okay.
You are not ‘okay.’
I’m fine.
He growled. You are as stubborn as a
stalagmite.
Jess tried to laugh, but it caught in
her throat. She saw no end to this mess. It had one glimmer of light,
the baby. A miracle. But it would be insane to reveal the child’s
paternity. She had seen the hatred bred by xenophobia. Had Ghar
killed one of his own kind, Earth would never have cared and Bor Chi
would never have absolved him. She didn’t want to imagine what
their peoples would say to a child born of a human woman and Cephean
male.
Ghar pulled back so he could see her
face. He held her shoulders with his upper arms and signed with his
lower pair. Your ship is a metal hull. It can never hold you in the
night when loneliness stalks your dreams.
It is my home.
This could become your home.
Come live with me on Silver Tide.
His growl rumbled. I would die in your
silver cage.
Jess signed sorrow to him. If we live
together, your people and mine will make our lives hell.
He watched her with his large eyes.
Brown eyes. Human eyes. Then stay with me this one last night.
Jess touched his face. Tonight, I will
stay.
IV
Bridge
Jess maneuvered her bulk through the
hatchway to the bridge and floated forward. She had followed Sandra’s
advice rigorously and rarely spent time in free fall, so she savored
these few moments the doctor allowed her. Being weightless offered a
much-appreciated relief; at more than eight months pregnant, she was
as unwieldy as a cargo barge.
She hauled herself to the command chair
and settled in with a grunt. Panels shifted around her, adjusting to
her size. In response to her commands, the robot arm that supported
the chair carried it through the kilometer-wide bridge hemisphere.
She passed a smaller robot arm ridden by one of her officers. When
the lieutenant lifted her hand in salute, Jess grinned and saluted
back. Then she moved on, until she stopped in the center of the
hemisphere.
Jess spoke into her wrist comm.
"Commander Carson, have we finished loading the cargo for the
Flanders team?"
The voice of Al Carson, her Exec, came
out of the comm. "In about five minutes, Captain."
"Excellent." She shifted
position, trying to get comfortable. The chair molded to her body,
accommodating her efforts.
Suddenly she stiffened, while muscular
ripples moved down her abdomen. As if eager to join in, her baby
chose that moment to give a hearty kick. Jess couldn’t help but
laugh. "You’re a strong one."
"Ma’am?" Al asked over
her comm. "I didn’t catch that."
She wondered what Al would think if she
told him she was having Braxton-Hicks contractions, the "practice"
a woman’s body underwent toward the end of pregnancy as it
prepared for labor. Knowing Al, he would take it in stride. It wasn’t
genuine labor; she wouldn’t give birth for at least another
three weeks.
"The Flanders personnel are
aboard," she told Al. "As soon as we finish loading their
equipment, we can leave orbit."
"Aye, Captain."
Jess settled back and activated the
holoscreens. The bridge went from a vast metal cavern to–nothing.
The crew consoles on the hull seemed suspended in space. Dominating
the view, a luminous blue world rotated, girdled by silvery rings.
Far more distant, a white star pierced space, the parent sun for this
iceball world, its light filtered by the screens. Silver Tide had
stopped here to pick up a team of scientists headed back to Earth.
A familiar longing came over Jess, the
wanderlust that had stirred her heart for as long as she could
remember. She would have loved to go down to the science station
floating in the atmosphere of the planet, don an environment suit,
power up a fly-craft, and explore the world firsthand. But she hadn’t
left Silver Tide for months now. Sandra didn’t want her to risk
acceleration, and Jess’s presence on-planet hadn’t been
necessary during their stops.
"Such a beautiful sight," Al
Carson murmured. "Like a sphere of turquoise and sapphire
light."
"You sound poetic today,"
Jess said.
He chuckled. "It happens every now
and then."
A twinge of sorrow came to her, one
that had caught her often these pasts months, sometimes when she
encountered a sight she would have liked to have shared with Ghar,
like this one, other times when she saw a family together. She and
Ghar spoke on occasion, but it was difficult to arrange the
interstellar communication. She wished he could be here, or if not
here, then someplace where they could see each other when they had
the chance.
They didn’t have that option.
Although the authorities on Earth had dropped the kidnapping charge
against Ghar, the murder accusation remained. At least Jess’s
testimony had helped bring down the cartel’s operation in the
colony and ease the outpouring of public anger against Ghar. For all
that Cepheans made them uneasy, the people of Earth were horrified by
the attempted genocide on Icelos.
Allied Services had acted fast to wipe
out the plague chimeras. It had kept the Skolians from declaring open
hostilities against Earth, but relations between Cepheus and Earth
had still deteriorated. Angered by the murder charge against Ghar,
one of their most prominent citizens–one who had prevented the
brutal death of an Allied Space Corps officer–the Cephean
authorities steadfastly refused to extradite him. Cephean portrayals
of Jess were scathing, which incensed the Space Corps. So Ghar
remained on Cepheus and the Cephean embassy on Earth remained empty.
The situation disheartened Jess. In the
past, hatreds on Earth had burned over race, religion, sexual
orientation, and customs. Those differences seemed to fade now,
compared to the variations between humans and their altered kin on
other worlds. Although Jess and Ghar had never revealed that their
relationship went beyond friendship, their acquaintance caused
outrage anyway, a response Jess had never experienced in her
interracial marriage with the man from Norway.
Nor did her pregnancy sit well with her
superiors; she had broken an unwritten code of the Space Corps by
remaining pregnant without a spouse. Although no regulations
prohibited an officer in her position from giving birth out of
wedlock, the brass didn’t like it. But where Ghar was
concerned, she had few options. Even if her government hadn’t
considered him a criminal, she and Ghar might not have been able to
marry. No one knew; no legal precedents existed. And Jess had no
intention of taking vows with someone she didn’t love just for
the sake of being married.
At her request, the Space Corps kept
the identity of her child’s father confidential. Although she
managed to retain her command, she had been passed over for
promotion. She could only work hard and hope the situation improved.
She had agreed to the tests requested by the medical team studying
her child. It was unheard of for a chimera as complex as Ghar to
exist, let alone be fertile, but without him, their studies were
limited. Unless Cepheus and Earth reached a truce that allowed their
scientists to collaborate again, the secret of how Ghar existed would
remain a mystery to Earth.
Al’s voice came out of her comm.
"Captain, we have the Flanders cargo on board."
"Great. As soon–" Jess
stopped, startled as another contraction began, spreading from her
lower back up into her abdomen. It was too long and too intense.
"Bloody hell," Jess muttered
when it finally eased.
"Captain?" Al asked.
"Commander Carson." Jess
paused for a calming breath. "Switch to the contingency plan we
discussed."
"Good God!" Al said. "Do
you need help, ma’am?"
Jess felt herself redden. "No, no.
I’m fine." She was acutely aware of her bridge officers
listening. Everyone knew what "contingency plan" meant. She
tapped her gauntlet, starting up a procedure she had already
programmed into her wrist comp. Then, after another deep breath, she
said, "Commander Carson, you’re in charge." More
softly, to the entire bridge crew, she added, "Take her out
gently, ladies and gentlemen. Gently."
A murmur of good wishes came from her
crew. Al said, "Good luck, Captain." As tense as he
sounded, anticipation also sparked in his words. Jess felt it
too–until another pain wrenched through her, this one sharper
than the last.
"Ahhh . . ." She struggled to
hold back her gasp.
Sandra’s voice suddenly snapped
out of Jess’s comm. "Captain, I’m receiving a page
on your emergency channel."
Jess gritted her teeth against the
contraction. "I know. I sent it."
"Well, I’ll be cheddar in a
chugger," Sandra said.
As the pain eased, Jess wondered what
the blazes was a "chugger." She directed her chair toward
the hatch at the back of the bridge. "I’m coming in."
"Are you sure it’s time?"
Sandra asked. "You aren’t due for weeks."
Jess started to answer, then groaned as
another contraction hit.
"Uh . . . I take that as a ‘yes,’"
Sandra said.
Somehow Jess managed, "You take it
right."
"I’m sending an air
stretcher for you," Sandra said crisply. "I’ve
dispatched the orderlies."
"I don’t need a stretcher."
Remembering Ghar’s comments about friendship, Jess resisted the
urge to grumble at the doctor. "I’m fine. Really." As
the contraction finished, she maneuvered out of her chair, which had
reached the hatchway. "Just get ready for me, Doc."
"Now!" Sandra said again.
"Push!"
Jess pushed, clenching the handgrips on
the bed. The waves of pain went on and on, and even after they
finally ebbed, the merciless pressure remained.
Sandra swore. "That’s it.
This baby doesn’t want to come out. I’m going to
operate."
Jess struggled to sit up. "No."
Lines furrowed Sandra’s forehead.
"You’ve been in labor for over a day. Jess, it’s
enough. You don’t have to do this the way women did before
modern medicine."
"Yes, I do." At the moment,
Jess had a hard time remembering why she had been determined to carry
through with natural childbirth. But damned if she was going to let
them cut her open. She moaned as another contraction began. Steeling
herself, she dredged up her strength. PUSH.
"It’s coming!" Sandra
suddenly called. "Jess! Come on! You can do it!"
Jess put in a gargantuan effort–and
screamed as pain ripped through her body. Gasping at the sudden
release that followed, she heaved herself up to look, breathing hard,
her hair tousled wildly around her face–
"I don’t believe it,"
Jess whispered. Sandra was holding a tiny girl with a wrinkled face
and a pointy head covered by red-gold curls. As Sandra checked the
baby’s nostrils, the infant gave a loud wail.
"She’s beautiful," Jess
rasped. Then she collapsed back onto the bed.
The next moments blurred, as nurses
cleaned her up and shifted her to a fresh bed. Then Sandra handed her
a tiny, incredible bundle. Jess cradled the baby, murmuring. The
infant looked up with large blue eyes, as if she recognized her
mother’s voice. When Jess put her to her breast, the child
nursed with gusto. Jess was vaguely aware of Sandra and the others,
but her attention was only for this miracle. She closed her eyes,
astonished at the uncharacteristic tenderness she felt when she held
this small bundle in her combat-trained arms.
Jess didn’t realize she had dozed
off until someone tapped her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see
George Mai standing by her bed. The baby slept, nestled against her
side.
George beamed. "The crew sends
their congratulations, ma’am."
Jess smiled drowsily. "Give them
my thanks."
Sandra appeared next to George.
"Captain, you have a message from Cepheus."
Jess came fully awake, her emotions a
sudden jumble, apprehensive and eager all at once. "I’ll
take it on my private line."
Sandra nodded. "I’ll set it
up."
Jess waited while Sandra made the
arrangements. If George thought it strange that the outlawed Cephean
ambassador wished to speak with her at a time like this, he kept his
questions to himself.
After the doctors left, Jess sat up,
holding the baby. She spoke to the air. "Put my call on audio."
The EI that monitored the hospital
answered. "Would you like visual?"
Her inclination was to say no,
especially after just giving birth. But this wasn’t something
she and Ghar could do through a translator.
"Yes," she said. "Visual
too."
The wall across the room glowed blue,
then cleared to show a large image of Ghar. He was seated at a desk
in a gleaming office far more modern than his home on Icelos. His
upper arms rested on the top of the desk, which was a grid rather
than a solid surface, and his lower arms were crossed on a lower
shelf visible through the grid. His human translator was just leaving
the room.
Ghar waited until he was alone. Then he
signed, Hello, Jess.
Hello. She showed him the baby. I
thought of naming her Alejandra Ko Fernández. What do you
think?
A beautiful name. Ghar hesitated. I
would say she is a beautiful baby, but I have no idea how human
babies should look.
Jess’s face softened into a
smile. She’s beautiful.
After your Doctor Bolton contacted me,
I thought to come there, to be with you. He signed with stiff
motions. But as soon as I enter human space, I will be taken into
custody.
Then I will bring Alejandra to Cepheus.
Jess, no. Bring her to Earth. His
motions became subdued. I have decided. I will go to your
authorities. Better to resolve this issue of my guilt than have it
dividing our peoples.
Jess bit her lip, worried. As much as
she wanted to see Ghar’s name cleared, she knew a human court
might convict him despite his having acted to save her life. I will
testify for you, she signed.
If you do, the truth about our child
will probably become public. It will be hard to hide once the lawyers
start digging.
Jess bit her lip. I know. She doubted
the news would be a complete surprise to either of their peoples.
When the friendship between she and Ghar had become known, during the
trial for the cartel, speculation had occurred.
Can you handle it? Ghar asked.
I think so. And you?
For myself I have no concern. But what
of the child?
Jess finally spoke the conclusions she
had come to after agonizing over that question for eight months.
Alejandra needs to know you as her father from as young an age as
possible. If we wait too long, fear could turn her from you. Better
she knows from the start than to have the truth shock her later.
He lifted his hand in a Cephean gesture
of assent. I have thought this also. But the decision must be yours.
She is a human child. You better than I know what she will deal with
in human culture.
I think it is best to tell her.
Then you will come to Earth?
Yes. We will come. It could only be for
visits, if she meant to retain command of Silver Tide, but she and
Alejandra would always find a way to see Ghar, somehow, whether or
not he was in prison.
Ghar’s large hands made word
pictures as he signed. I do not know if marriage between us is
possible. But if not, I will legally acknowledge our daughter.
Jess swallowed, unable to define the
emotion within her. Ghar’s life would be infinitely easier if
he never tried to acknowledge his child. That he meant to anyway told
her a great deal about him.
You honor us, she signed.
He moved his hands awkwardly. I am
unsure of the proper way to say this. Were you Cephean, I would know.
But in human terms I am lost.
I’m not sure what you mean.
His hands slowed. Wherever you go,
whatever you do, my heart walks in silence until you touch my hand.
A hotness came to Jess’s eyes.
She recognized the verse; Cepheans used it as a declaration of love.
Finally she recognized the unfamiliar emotion within her. She and
Ghar had walked in silence, for years, afraid to voice what they felt
to each other.
She signed the traditional Cephean
words back to him. I offer my heart to break your silence.
They could never have what they wanted,
a normal life. But perhaps they could bridge the fear that separated
their peoples. It wasn’t everything.
But it was a start. Walk in Silence Catherine Asaro
If ancient animosities are finally laid to rest, will new ones take their place?
I
Silver Tide
Lieutenant Colonel Jess Fernández
was sick. She sat in her chair at the end of a giant robot arm that
could swing anywhere within the large hemisphere around her. Although
she could act as captain from many locations within the ship, she
spent most shifts here on the bridge.
She rubbed her eyes, exhausted after
having worked late the previous evening, ship’s time. Her
queasy stomach didn’t help. She also had a cold, of all the
absurd anachronisms, and she felt like hell.
Holoscreens covered the surface of the
kilometer-wide dome that formed the bridge. Right now they showed the
planet Athena, a gas giant banded by blue and red clouds, glowing
against the spangled backdrop of space. The view to starboard lifted
her spirits. It came from a satellite orbiting Athena and showed her
ship, Silver Tide, a scientific research facility. The vessel
glistened, a rotating cylinder several kilometers long. Lights
sparkled along its body, on antennae, pods, struts, and towers.
Jess always got a kick out of watching
Silver Tide from within the ship. She had never lost the awe she felt
that first time she boarded, coming to assume her command. In the
five years since, Silver Tide had become part of her.
Her stomach interrupted her enjoyment
with an unwelcome lurch. Trying to divert her thoughts, she magnified
the screen images. Now they revealed a small spacecraft on approach,
a Bolt transport. On Silver Tide, the pod on a docking tube was
opening like a giant flower. The Bolt sailed inside and the pod
closed, swallowing the craft. Jess recognized the Bolt; it carried
Jack O’Brien and his Allied Services team, which tracked the
interstellar black market. They were hitching a ride on Silver Tide,
headed out across space to bust smugglers.
Jess sniffled, distracted by her stuffy
nose. Pah. This was absurd. She had all her inoculations. Granted,
none were 100 percent effective, but humans had cured most strains of
the common cold. It irked her no end to have caught one anyway.
She still had to do her job. To the
computer, she said, "Spin her up."
"Done," it answered. The
bridge began to turn, its screens adjusting to keep the view
stationary. She rotated the bridge during part of each shift so her
crew at the consoles on the hull weren’t always in
micro-gravity. Against the immensity of space, their stations were
tiny wedges moving past the stars. Usually Jess reveled in that
glorious vista. Unfortunately, seeing those consoles zip by today did
nothing glorious for her stomach. Bloody hell. Captains weren’t
supposed to get sick.
Jess sent her chair humming toward a
hatch on the hull. To match speed and position with the moving hatch,
the chair turned upside down, making her dismayed stomach flip-flop.
She gulped bile as she shoved out of her seat. Then she rendezvoused
with the Bridge Renewal and Refresher Chamber, otherwise known as the
loo.
As she squeezed into the cubicle, a
med-holo of her face formed in front of the opposite panel showing a
woman with black hair tousled around her shoulders. Dark smudges
showed below her eyes.
She barely had time to lean over the
sink before she lost her lunch.
"You work too hard." Dr.
George Mai stood by the bed in the exam room, scanning his holopad. A
heavy-set man of average height, he had a kind face and brown eyes.
He frowned at Jess, who was sitting on the end of the bed, her booted
legs almost touching the floor. "You should come in more often
for a check-up," he admonished.
Jess barely held back her grimace. She
had never liked hospitals. "I’m not working any harder
than usual. I’ve no reason to be sick."
"I’m still checking a few
tests, but I can already give you the diagnosis." He turned off
his holopad. "You have a cold, Captain. You need rest.
Relaxation."
Jess glowered at him. "I’m
perfectly relaxed."
He started to answer, then seemed to
think better of it. Instead he said, "I’ll let you know if
anything else turns up."
"Thank you." She slid off the
bed, standing half a head taller than him.
"You really could use a rest,"
he said. "Doctor Bolton would say the same."
Gads. He was pulling out the big guns.
She could just hear Sandra Bolton, the senior physician at Claymore
Hospital: I insist you relax, Jess. Take a vacation, find a hobby,
meet some people. You’re an intelligent, accomplished,
attractive woman. All right, so you’re also stubborn as all
hell. But you still need a social life.
Stubborn, pah. Sandra didn’t seem
to understand the words, I’m fine, go away. Jess had great
respect for the doctor’s abilities, but she had no wish to hear
Sandra’s unsolicited advice on her personal life, or lack
thereof.
Especially not now.
Jess hurried through the secluded woods
around the medical park. She had changed back into her uniform, the
blue trousers and shirt of a lieutenant colonel in the Space Corps of
the Allied Worlds of Earth. At six-foot-two, with long legs, she
devoured distance as she strode along a gravel path. The trees and
flowering bushes on both sides tended to make her forget she lived on
a star ship. Then she reached an open area and saw the forest sloping
up the distant curve of the cylinder. The "sky" consisted
of light panels in the overhead deck.
Silver Tide was a self-sufficient
habitat, with its own towns and countryside. It carried thousands of
people, primarily civilians, though Jess and her officers served in
the Space Corps. The scientists onboard did research related to
space, studying everything from genetically altered colonists on
other planets to star formation. Researchers throughout the Allied
Worlds of Earth regularly applied for grants to work on Silver Tide.
Jess sighed. Cold or no cold, she had
work to do. She headed for the administrative park where her staff
had their offices. The gleaming buildings were scattered among lawns
and parks, with abstract sculptures that had never made a whit of
sense to Jess. The modern art looked ugly to her, but perhaps she was
too pragmatic to appreciate its nuances.
For the rest of the day, she met with
the heads of science divisions, working on the ship’s
itinerary. They had just picked up several astrophysicists who would
study interstellar dust clouds for the next few months. Several weeks
ago Silver Tide had dropped off a team of anthropologists on the
world Icelos, and Jess wanted to check on them. Other groups had
other itinerary requests.
Normally Jess enjoyed this part of her
job, but today she felt too queasy to do more than function. During a
meeting with the Microbiology division, she started to sneeze. She
wished the med-patch George had given her would take effect. This was
embarrassing.
After a full day, she headed home for a
few hours of sleep. As she walked, she brooded on the discord among
her staff. Several argued against returning to Icelos to check on the
anthropologists. They claimed it would take valuable time other
research teams needed. Jess found that hard to credit, given how
often Silver Tide made such checks. Far more likely, their reluctance
came about because Icelos was a Cephean world.
Cepheans had once been human. Six
thousand years ago, an unknown race had moved humans from Earth to
another planet, then vanished with no explanation. The stranded
humans learned genetic engineering in desperation; without it, their
population would have been too small to maintain a viable gene pool.
Driven by memories of their lost home, they also developed space
travel and went in search of Earth. So it was that five millennia
ago, Earth’s displaced children built an interstellar empire.
But the empire soon collapsed,
stranding its colonies. Although its descendants took thousands of
years to regain space travel, they eventually succeeded, this time
building a formidable civilization, the Skolian Imperialate. When
Earth’s people finally reached the stars, they found their lost
siblings already there, busily building empires. The Skolians had
recovered many of their ancient colonies–including Cepheus.
The name was actually an Earth word.
Unable to reproduce Cephean speech, Earth’s humans called the
world Cepheus after a mythological king descended from Zeus, because
the parent star appeared in the direction of the constellation
Cepheus when seen from Earth.
However, Cepheus was a Skolian world.
Its colonists had altered themselves, though now, millennia later, no
one knew why. If they had intended to expand their gene pool, they
failed miserably; Cepheans could neither reproduce with humans nor
had any interest in doing so. Perhaps the changes adapted their harsh
new world. They had two extra arms, modifications to accommodate the
limbs, and luxuriant pelts. Entrepreneurs on Earth had spent millions
trying to synthesize the fur, but that was all most humans liked
about their altered neighbors. Cepheans evoked ancient terrors: Yeti,
golems, stalkers in the night, a child’s nightmare.
Initially Cepheans had liked humans,
responding on an instinctual level. Earth’s children looked
like pretty pets to them. They turned wary as they discovered their
long-lost siblings were anything but simple or malleable. When they
realized how much humans reviled them, their unease became hostility.
A few decades ago, the Cepheans had
settled Icelos, a planet in a system near their home. The colony’s
scientific nature made it amenable to interaction with humans, and
scientists on Earth and Icelos soon set up an exchange program.
Silver Tide had carried Earth’s research team to Icelos, and
Jess felt responsible for them. The exchange offered a symbol, proof
that humans and Cepheans could work together. But the tenuous accord
could unravel all too easily.
Dusk spread over the landscape as the
panels dimmed overhead. Weary, Jess sat on a large boulder by the
path and folded her arms across her torso. She leaned forward,
swallowing the bile in her throat; either George’s medicine
wasn’t working or else she needed new thoughts. She felt like
hell.
Better not to think of Icelos.
With her arms crossed on her polished
desk, Jess nodded pleasantly to the man sprawled in a leather
armchair of her office. "I hope your accommodations are
acceptable, Mr. O’Brien."
Jack O’Brien gave her a rakish
grin, more like a pirate than a security officer in the Allied
Services. "Top shape, Cap’n." A black curl fell over
his forehead as he took a swig of his coffee. "After our
military transport didn’t show up, we figured we were stranded
at Epsilani Station. Your ship was a godsend.
"I’m glad we could help."
Although the Space Corps had no formal connection to the Allied
Services, Jess had no objection to their agents hitching a ride on
her ship.
The comm in her desk buzzed. Touching a
panel, she said, "Fernández here."
Sandra Bolton’s voice crackled.
"Captain, I need to see you as soon as possible."
Jess held back her groan. She had no
wish to see Sandra now or ever, but she knew the doctor; the more
Jess balked, the more Sandra would persist. The last thing she needed
right now was to have a verbal duel with the head of Claymore
Hospital in front of a visitor.
Jack O’Brien stood up, setting
his mug on her desk, and mouthed, Thanks for the coffee. Relieved by
his tact, Jess raised her hand to him as he left. When she was alone,
she spoke into the comm. "I’ll stop by the hospital later
if I have time." She had a lot of work to finish today. In fact,
she had just remembered more she had to do. Incredible amounts.
Sandra wasn’t buying it. "This
can’t wait."
Jess frowned. "Why not?"
"You should come here."
That gave Jess pause. Sandra wasn’t
usually this oblique. It might bear checking out. Grudgingly, she
said, "All right."
Sandra stood at a bench surrounded by
monitors. The doctor was five-foot-six and had gained weight over the
years, nothing drastic, but enough to make her round. Her short,
stylish hair gleamed silver in the harsh light.
As Jess entered the exam room, Sandra
turned and regarded her with a neutral expression. Bland. Sandra
never looked bland. Something was up.
Jess stopped just inside the room, even
more wary now. "Yes?"
Sandra studied her face. "We need
to talk."
"How about some other time?"
Like in a century.
"Jess, listen." The doctor
cleared her throat. "It’s about the suggestions I gave
you."
"Which ones? You give a lot."
Sandra’s inventory of lectures was formidable.
"About socializing."
Jess would have laughed if she hadn’t
been so astounded. "Is that why you called me here so urgently?
To find out if I’ve gone to any parties?"
"No. I just hadn’t expected
you to actually take my advice." Sandra laid her hand on the
exam table, as if for support. Then she took a deep breath.
"Jess–you’re pregnant."
Jess stared at her, at a loss for a
reply. It was simply too ludicrous. Finally she found her voice. "Is
this some sort of tasteless joke?"
Sandra showed no sign of laughing.
"George and I did three independent checks. They all give the
same result."
Jess scowled. "Then your
procedures have some problem."
"When George saw the result during
your exam earlier, he thought it was a mistake too. But we checked.
It’s true."
"Sandra, for crying out loud. I
can’t be pregnant."
The doctor spoke dryly. "You
aren’t the first woman to say those words. Nor the first to be
wrong."
"I’m not saying it’s
unlikely. It’s impossible."
"No birth control method is one
hundred percent effective."
Jess wished she were somewhere else.
Anywhere. Discussing her sex life, or lack thereof, was about as high
on her list of preferred activities as having a tooth pulled without
benefit of modern dentistry. She crossed her arms. "It requires
a merger to effect the result you attribute to the sole capacity of
my reproductive organs."
The doctor smiled. "Does that have
a translation into something I can understand?"
So much for subtlety. Jess felt herself
redden. "It means I haven’t, uh–been with a man."
Her tormentor shrugged. "Maybe you
forgot."
"Forgot?" Jess couldn’t
believe she was having this conversation. "That’s
ridiculous. And no, I didn’t go to a sperm bank."
"So how did you get pregnant?"
"I didn’t."
Sandra continued as if Jess hadn’t
spoken. "You caught a cold because your resistance is down. You
need more rest now and you’re not getting it. And it’s
why you’ve felt nauseated. You have morning sickness."
"I have it all day," Jess
grumbled.
"You must have missed two cycles
by now. Didn’t you notice?"
"I’m always irregular when
I’m off-planet."
Sandra scrutinized her. "Could you
have had sex without knowing it?"
This felt more surreal by the moment.
"I think I would have noticed."
Sandra motioned at the bed. "Lie
down."
Jess scowled at her.
The doctor smiled. "I don’t
bite, you know."
"You do worse," Jess
muttered. "You give advice." But she went to the bed and
lay on her back. Her feet hung over the bottom edge.
Sandra clicked up an extension to
support Jess’s feet. Then she moved to a monitor and said,
"Scan one, Jazmín Fernández." It was one of
Sandra’s few redeeming qualities: she knew how to say her
captain’s name. It wasn’t that Jess didn’t like her
nickname; she had answered to Jess since her childhood in London. But
she still appreciated it when someone pronounced Jazmín right.
"Type R scan," Sandra said.
She unhooked a cable from the monitor, rolled up Jess’s shirt,
and proceeded to slide the disk across her abdomen.
"Hey." Jess stiffened. "What
are you doing?"
"Relax. It’s just an image
processor." Sandra motioned at the monitor. "Look."
Jess peered at the screen. A color
image was forming, set against a dark background. It showed a sac
holding a tiny figure with a huge head and a flutter inside its body.
"What is that?"
"Your baby," Sandra said.
"The motion is its heartbeat."
Jess blinked. Could she truly have
conceived a child? How?
Sandra studied a panel below the
monitor. "This verifies the tests. You’re nine weeks
pregnant."
"Nine weeks?" Jess sat up
suddenly. "That’s when we took those anthropologists to
Icelos."
Dryly Sandra said, "Your memory
coming back?"
Jess flushed. "I still can’t
be pregnant."
The doctor gentled her voice. "In
a situation like this, denial isn’t unusual. But you need to
accept it, Jess. You need to decide what you intend to do."
Jess stared at the monitor, watching
her baby’s heart beat. A new life. Incredible. Protective
instincts surged in her, similar to what she felt for Silver Tide.
She glanced at Sandra. "If you’re
asking do I want to give up the child or end the pregnancy, the
answer is no."
Sandra didn’t look surprised.
"Shall I contact the anthropologists?"
Jess’s voice came out sharper
than she intended. "My child’s father is not on Icelos."
She slid off the bed and paced away from the doctor. "I don’t
know how this happened."
Sandra made a frustrated noise. "Fine.
I give up. You had no lover. You conceived out of nothing."
Jess turned around. "I didn’t
say I had no lover."
"Ah." Sandra came over to
her. "Now we’re getting somewhere."
"He can’t be the father."
"You have other candidates?"
"No." Jess fixed Sandra with
what she hoped was a quelling stare. "But he can’t be the
father."
Sandra didn’t look the least bit
quelled. "You know mistakes can happen."
"Not in this case."
"What kind of birth control did
you use?"
"I didn’t."
Sandra snorted. "And you’re
surprised you’re pregnant?"
"I didn’t need any."
"Why? Is he sterile?"
"No. I just didn’t need it."
"I don’t believe you could
be that naïve."
Jess glared at her. "Damn it,
Sandra, let it go."
"Let what go?"
"All right!" Jess crossed her
arms again. "My companion was Ghar Ko. Satisfied?"
Sandra stared at her. "You mean
the Cephean Ambassador?"
Jess wished she could disappear. "Yes."
Sandra finally closed her mouth. "Lord
Almighty."
"What I just told you is
confidential."
"Yes, yes, of course." Sandra
looked as if she couldn’t decide whether to be fascinated or
appalled. "And yes, you’re right. Human beings cannot have
babies with Cepheans."
"Are you sure the child is human?"
Maybe the scientists were wrong. Maybe hybrid offspring could exist.
"Completely human." Sandra
rubbed her chin. "A Cephean male couldn’t impregnate you.
Too many differences exist in the DNA."
"I don’t know what to say."
Jess had yet to sort out how she felt about what had happened. She
certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Sandra. But she had to
file a report, even if she declined to name the nonexistent father.
Although maternity no longer meant an end to active duty on a ship
like Silver Tide, a pregnant captain was hardly routine, especially
an unmarried one. If she didn’t handle this right, she could
lose her command.
Sandra seemed curious now, instead of
flabbergasted. "How does Ambassador Ko feel about it?"
"I don’t know," Jess
admitted. "It just–happened. Then we fell asleep. I woke
up, wrote him a note, and left." Silver Tide had been scheduled
to depart and she couldn’t hold up the ship for her personal
life. Or so she told herself. But she and Ghar could have sent
messages later, via starship. That neither of them had done so
suggested she wasn’t the only one at a loss for words.
Sandra frowned. "I’ve never
known you to be a coward."
"I’m not. I needed time to
think." Ghar probably had too. She had no idea if their liaison
appalled, embarrassed, or shamed him. "If his people learn about
this, it will cause him problems. Cepheans don’t much care for
humans." To put it mildly.
"Apparently one of them does,"
Sandra said dryly. "This could blow up on you big time. Humans
are just as xenophobic towards Cepheans."
"That’s why I haven’t
said anything."
"What are you going to do?"
Good question. Too bad she had no
answer. "What should I do for the baby?"
Although Sandra obviously wanted to
continue the topic of Ghar, she held back, at least for now. Instead,
she switched into her most professional tone. "No alcohol or
caffeine. Sleep more. Avoid zero-g; otherwise the cells in the fetus
might not orient correctly. On the bridge, minimize how long you
spend weightless. No EVAs. Even inside the ship, make sure you always
have radiation protection. If the nausea gets so bad you can’t
eat, let me know."
"All right." That all sounded
manageable.
Sandra spoke more softly. "And
Jess."
"Yes?"
"What happened would be difficult
for anyone to handle. Especially if you had no choice. . . ."
It took Jess a moment to decipher her
meaning. Startled, she said, "It was consensual." She
couldn’t imagine Ghar forcing her. With relations between Earth
and Cepheus already so strained, it would have been madness. It would
shatter the brittle concord between their peoples.
"Could it have happened while you
slept?" Sandra asked. "By someone else?"
Jess blinked. "Of course not."
"Are you sure?"
Jess glanced at the monitor. It gave
the time of conception as the night she had spent with Ghar. But she
couldn’t believe Ghar would be involved in such a strange
deception. She turned back to Sandra. "I’m sure."
"It is hard to imagine,"
Sandra admitted. "If you remember anything, let me know."
In a gentler voice she added, "And if you need to talk, I’m
here."
"Thank you." Jess heard the
stiffness in her voice. "But I’m fine. Really."
She wished she believed that.
Jess walked through the woods in a
deepening twilight. She kept thinking about Sandra’s question:
could this have happened while she slept that night? But how? Someone
would have had to enter Ghar’s home and impregnate her while he
was there. Regardless of whether they used artificial means or
sexual, they would have had to drug her or find some other way to
ensure she didn’t wake up. She didn’t see how they could
have silenced Ghar, and she couldn’t believe he would allow
such violations. To what purpose? It was just too bizarre.
If Ghar had left for a while after she
went to sleep, someone might have broken in during his absence. But
that didn’t make much sense either. If someone in the village
had wanted sex, easier ways existed to find it than sneaking up to
the Cephean ambassador’s home and ravishing his guest in her
sleep. Even if the person had sought the thrill of danger, Jess
didn’t see how he could have infiltrated the well-guarded
Cephean colony or Ghar’s home. And she knew Ghar too well to
believe he would have left her alone long enough for such an
outlandish event to occur.
She had last seen Ghar on Icelos,
during a reception to welcome the anthropologists from Earth. Jess
had never been comfortable at such gatherings. It had been a relief
to leave with Ghar, the two of them deep in conversation. She wasn’t
sure how they had ended up at his home. They had settled on a soft
rug and proceeded to get drunk on that sharp brandy the Icelos colony
produced for export.
Eventually Jess had slumped against his
huge frame, no longer able to sit straight, and he had pulled her
against his chest with his lower arms. He had been using all four
hands to talk by then. Cepheans couldn’t replicate human
speech, and humans couldn’t mimic their language, so the two of
them had conversed by signing. For some reason, they had decided to
"talk" by pressing signs against each other’s torso.
Or maybe that had just been an excuse for their curiosity. It had
soon grown more intimate.
Jess touched the comm on her gauntlet.
Then she leaned against a tree, feeling the roughness of the bark
through her shirt, and gazed into the dusk. The stillness of the
night in the secluded forest helped calm her turmoil.
Her comm chimed. Touching the receive
panel, she said, "Fernández."
"Captain, this is Sandra Bolton. I
received your page."
Jess rested her head against the tree.
"I was wondering how extensive a database you have for DNA
records."
"It’s a big one."
Sandra didn’t sound surprised by the inquiry. "Every time
we link into a major medical system, we update ours. We probably have
over eighty percent of the database for citizens of the Allied Worlds
of Earth."
Jess spoke softly. "So if an
Allied citizen has ever had a medical record made of his DNA, you’ve
a good chance of having it."
"That’s right." Sandra
paused. "We only have a few records from Skolian databases. Our
Icelos files are pretty skimpy."
"Check what you can." Jess
swallowed. "See if you can match my child’s DNA."
"I’ll go through everything
we have."
"Thank you." Jess paused,
unsure what to add. "Good night."
"Good night." In a kindly
voice, Sandra added, "Jess, go home and rest. Don’t
brood."
"Thank you. But I’m fine.
Really."
After they signed off, Jess stood
watching the night. She couldn’t handle this compassionate side
of Sandra; it was easier to be annoyed when the doctor was giving a
lecture. Confronted by a gentle Sandra, Jess feared she might drop
her emotional guards. It would be tantamount to admitting she wasn’t
self-sufficient. She had spent a lifetime proving herself; she
couldn’t bear to ask for help now.
No matter how ill at ease she felt, she
had to see Ghar. He might know what had happened. It wasn’t
something she could tackle long-distance; she needed to see him in
person. And going to Icelos would make it easier to check their
medical databases. But it would take a fortnight to reach the colony,
using most of the leeway in Silver Tide’s schedule.
If she wanted to see Ghar, she couldn’t
hesitate.
II
Stalactite City
Icelos. Jess felt welcomed by the small
world. After she left the starport, she headed into town. She could
have taken a magrail or hitched a ride on a cargo lorry, but she
preferred to go on foot. Warm within her climate-controlled jacket,
she enjoyed walking in the three-quarters gravity.
The Cepheans were biosculpting the
planet, adapting it for settlement. Although Icelos now supported
humanoid life, the environment wasn’t yet comfortable. Even
here at the equator, the warmest zone of the planet, the temperature
usually hovered around freezing. The village resembled a ski town,
with alpine bungalows capped by peaked roofs. Putting her hands in
her pockets, she crunched through the snow, avoiding icy patches on
the cobbled lanes.
The village had a crystalline,
glittering beauty. Jess took a deep breath, savoring the crisp air.
Although she had chafed when Sandra prescribed shore leave, she was
secretly glad the doctor insisted. During the last fortnight, as
Silver Tide had traveled here, Jess had debated whether or not to
send Ghar a message. Her doubts had stopped her. If he had somehow
caused her strange condition, she didn’t want to warn him that
she was coming, lest he find a reason to cut short his visit to
Icelos and return to Earth, where he served as ambassador. So she had
held off.
She had spent the afternoon taking care
of her duties; now she had two days to herself. Of course two days
didn’t amount to much on Icelos, which rotated in only eleven
hours. Regardless, she would make her best effort to see Ghar. Her
emotions tumbled over one another, conflicted and awkward, but she
still looked forward to the visit. As difficult as it was to admit,
she missed Ghar.
When Jess came around a house, her
stride faltered and she stared along the street to the land beyond
the town. Cliffs sheered into a cobalt blue sky, and above them,
jagged mountains rose in cold, primeval splendor. The sunset edged
their crowns like tubes of hot-pink neon. Here in the village, the
snow drifted against the bungalows had turned a luminous pink. Ice
hung in frozen lace from the houses, glittering like rubies.
With an appreciative sigh, she set off
again. Exhaling, she watched her breath condense in the air. As she
passed a bungalow, a spray of ice fell from its roof. Icelos had
slumbered for eons; now the Cepheans were awakening the world. It
seemed fitting; in Greek mythology, Icelos had been the son of
Somnus, the god of sleep. But she suspected Earth’s name for
this world came from deeper in the human subconscious. The mythical
Icelos had been a shape-changer who could turn into different
animals; she often wondered if the name was an oblique, even
unconscious acknowledgement by humans that their Cephean cousins had
once been human and now were Other.
After a while, her gait slowed. She
began to wish she had taken a hovercar. How had the human race
survived so long, when incubating little humans took so much energy?
She trudged on, trying not to think how far it was to home. A few
years ago, the Allied embassy had arranged an apartment here for her,
after the Cepheans requested her diplomatic services. The Cephean
science commission and its Earth counterpart needed a liaison,
someone who regularly traveled between Earth and Icelos, and the
Cepheans already knew Jess from the visits Silver Tide had made.
She smiled wryly, remembering the
dubious response from the Earth commission. As much as her taciturn
bluntness appealed to the Cepheans, it annoyed humans. However,
Allied Space Command liked that she got things done with efficiency
and no fuss, so in the end she had become the liaison.
As sunset faded into a silvered dusk,
Jess plodded to the intersection at Starfarer’s Lane. The sign
at the crossroads looked the same as always, a stone rectangle
hanging from a pole. She had never paid it much attention before, but
today its carved words jumped out at her.
Childcare. The arrow pointed right.
She knew she should continue on home,
rest, eat, sleep. But instead she found herself turning right.
A simple bungalow housed the childcare
center. When Jess opened the door, young voices burbled over her. She
found a cheerful room inside, with white walls adorned by cartoons in
bright red, blue, and yellow. Toys were strewn across the carpeted
floor. Three toddlers played there, watched by a blond woman with a
kind face. The woman glanced at Jess, then did a double-take, her
gaze widening.
Jess hesitated. Self-conscious, acutely
aware of her uniform jacket and trousers, she closed the door.
The woman recovered her composure and
approached with a friendly smile. "Hello, Captain. What can I do
for you?"
Good question. To cover her
uncertainty, Jess said, "We’re expanding a childcare
facility on my ship. I’m interested in how other sites organize
their centers." It was true, actually. A community on Silver
Tide had requested a new center, and Jess had been meaning to have
someone attend the matter. It occurred to her that she ought to do
the attending herself; she might soon be using that center.
"I would be happy to give you a
tour." The woman glanced at the insignia on Jess’s jacket.
With diffidence, she added, "On a ship as big as yours, though,
I’m sure you have much more extensive facilities."
Jess felt more out of her depth here
than she ever had on Silver Tide. She managed a smile. "Size and
quality aren’t the same. I’ve heard yours is a well-run
operation."
The woman beamed. "That it is,
ma’am." She motioned with her hand, inviting Jess forward.
So Jess went on a tour of the center.
In one room, a girl and boy were stacking holographic blocks. Seeing
them, she felt an odd constriction in her chest. Would her baby have
dark curls like the boy? Or perhaps she would be like the girl, her
eyes huge and dark, her sweet face shaped like a heart. But how could
she imagine her child’s appearance when the only paternal
candidate was impossible? So far Sandra had found no genetic match
for the baby, but the DNA was undeniably human.
Jess thought of her parents, their
youth and energy drained from raising five children when they had
resources for no more than one. The unrelenting demands of borderline
urban poverty had ground the joy out of their lives. It had always
made Jess uneasy about starting a family. Now an undefined longing
tugged at her, feelings she had no name for, except that they came
with a flavor of loneliness.
"Captain?" the woman asked.
Startled, Jess realized she had been
standing there, gazing at the children. She spoke softly. "They
seem so happy."
The woman’s voice gentled. "We
do our best."
When the tour finished, Jess and the
woman returned to the main room. About that time, a young couple came
into the center, stamping snow from their boots, laughing together as
they hung their jackets on a peg by the door. One of the toddlers ran
to them, a strapping boy in a blue jumpsuit. The woman swung him into
her arms, grinning when the boy laughed. As she sat in a rocking
chair, the man settled in an armchair next to her, and they chatted
companionably while the woman nursed the child.
After Jess left the center, images of
the family stayed in her mind. She wanted to share this pregnancy
with someone. Ghar. But she feared to tell him. She hated to think he
might have betrayed her trust. If he hadn’t caused this to
happen, he would make the only logical assumption, that she had taken
a human lover that same night. Although she had no way to know how
much he would care, if at all, she didn’t want him to believe
she would betray his trust either.
Hell, what could she say when she had
no idea herself what had happened?
The penthouse took up the top floor of
The Conners, one of the tallest structures in the village, an elegant
tower seven stories high. As Jess entered her darkened apartment, the
curtains across the room parted, probably responding to a command
from Matrix, the Evolving Intelligence that ran the place. He often
altered the ambience, which meant she came home to unexpected
changes. She tended to enjoy it; over the years, he had developed a
sense of her preferences.
The curtains opened on a window that
took up most of the wall. Night had fallen outside, and light from
the star-encrusted sky poured through the window, making the white
carpet glow. Standing in the center of her sunken living room, Jess
gazed out at the night’s beauty. Usually she savored the
spacious dimensions of the place, which fit her height, but tonight
it just made her more aware of its emptiness.
"Matrix," she murmured. "It’s
too dark."
The lights came up slowly, letting her
eyes adjust. The room had simple furniture, elegant and sleek, with
silver accents and plants in blue-glass pots. Relieved to be home,
Jess dropped onto the sofa and pulled off her boots. She stretched
her legs across the blue-glass coffee table, her feet reaching the
other side. Legs that go on forever. A man she had known ten years
ago had told her that.
Her husband.
He had come to London from Norway. They
had spent five years together, with a renewable marriage contract.
Then she became captain of Silver Tide. He didn’t want to leave
Earth and she didn’t want to give up her command, so they had
let their contract lapse. Although they had parted amicably, the loss
had affected Jess deeply, far more than she wanted to admit. Since
then, she had guarded her emotions even more.
Until Ghar.
Perhaps it had been the brandy, or the
unreality of that night. Or maybe she just liked him better than
anyone else she had met, despite his being Cephean. She shook her
head at her folly. You never do things the easy way, do you?
Exhausted, she slumped back and closed her eyes. She knew she should
have dinner, but the thought made her stomach rebel.
Jess sighed. For the baby, she should
eat. Opening her eyes, she noticed a light on a fingertip panel in
the sofa arm. "Yes?" she asked.
"Welcome back, Captain Fernández,"
Matrix said pleasantly. "Can I get you anything?"
"A new stomach," Jess
grumbled.
"I’m sorry, but I can’t
do organ transplants."
She smiled. "How about food?
Something bland. Skim milk to drink."
"I can have the kitchen prepare a
superb bland meal," Matrix assured her. "Would you like
your mail while you wait? You have a message from Doctor Bolton."
Jess almost groaned, but she knew she
shouldn’t avoid her doctor. "Go ahead."
Sandra’s voice crackled.
"Captain, please contact me immediately."
Jess waited. "That’s it?"
"That is it," Matrix said.
She rubbed her chin. "All right.
Contact Doctor Bolton. She’s on the Silver Tide, in orbit."
"Message sent. Would you like
anything else?"
Jess still felt unprepared for this,
even after thinking about it for days. But she made herself answer.
"Yes. Get me the Allied embassy."
"One moment, please." After
several minutes, during which Jess sat like a lump, Matrix said, "I
have Paige Lowell from the embassy."
"Thanks. Put her on audio."
Although Jess had always liked Paige, right now she didn’t feel
up to facing the young woman’s flawless perfection. Somehow the
incomparably beautiful Paige managed simultaneously to appear as
elegant as an old-money heiress and as wholesome as the girl next
door. Add to that her formidable education and rapid advancement in
the diplomatic corps, and she could give even the most confident
person an inferiority complex.
A lovely voice floated into the air,
cultured and gracious. "Hello, Captain Fernández. Welcome
back to Icelos."
"Hi, Paige," Jess said. Then
she winced. She had never quite figured out when she and Paige were
on a first name basis and when they were being formal. So she added,
"Please call me Jess."
"It would be my pleasure. What can
we do for you?"
Jess steeled herself. "I’d
like to see Ambassador Ko. If he’s still here." Cephean
protocol required the Allied embassy on Icelos contact the Cephean
embassy here if Jess wanted to talk to Ghar, even though she already
knew the code for his private comm.
"I will be happy to inquire if his
Excellency can meet with you," Paige said.
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
Jess paused, too tired to think of small talk. "Good-night."
"Good-night, Jess. Have a pleasant
evening."
After they cut the connection, Jess
raked her hand through her hair. Would Ghar respond? More likely, he
wanted to forget their night together.
Matrix suddenly spoke. "I have
Doctor Bolton waiting."
Jess winced. "Just put her on
audio. No visual." If Sandra saw her fatigue, she would launch
into a lecture.
"Incoming," Matrix said.
Sandra’s voice cut the air.
"Jess, are you all right?"
"I’m fine." Jess
shifted on the couch. "Why?"
"You’ve been sick so much it
triggered an alert in your quarters on the ship. Why didn’t you
tell me how bad it was?"
Jess shrugged, then remembered Sandra
couldn’t see. "It’s not bad. I’ve kept some
food down."
The doctor clucked at her. "You’re
too stoic. I gave Matrix an anti-nausea prescription. Take it."
Jess was too tired to argue. "All
right."
More gently, Sandra said, "Are you
really okay?"
Jess felt her emotional defenses going
up. "I’m fine."
"You keep telling me that. Why
don’t I believe it?"
Because you know me too well. Jess saw
a tray rising up inside a glass column that supported the table. A
panel in the table slid open and the tray came to the top. Dinner sat
before her, pasta and vegetables on china. Milk filled a crystal
goblet, and a vase held an orchid.
Jess shook her head, incredulous. She
had grown up with so little, the fifth child of a Spanish father and
Portuguese mother who lived in London. Her parents had been
wanderers, only two in the millions of displaced tech workers, all
scratching for jobs while unemployment in the information sector
spiraled. With more and more intelligent machines able to replace
humans, the need for infotech workers had plunged. Like many others,
her parents ended up in an arbitrary urban center, scraping by with
low-level jobs.
But in this modern age, a wealth of new
jobs existed, including those on the frontier among the stars. Hard
work and scholarships had made it possible for Jess to overcome her
circumstances, yet even after buying her parents and siblings a new
house in an upscale London neighborhood, she found it hard to believe
this new life she had earned for her family.
"Jess?" Sandra asked.
She rubbed her eyes. "My dinner is
here. I have to go."
The doctor spoke kindly. "Don’t
push yourself so hard. You deserve a rest. Give yourself some slack."
"All right." The words didn’t
feel like enough, so she added, "Thanks for the concern."
"You’re welcome."
Sandra’s voice had an odd note, as if she were surprised to
hear Jess thank her.
Am I that difficult a patient? Jess
wondered if Sandra found their interactions painful too. But if so,
why did the doctor persist in giving unasked-for advice? Their lives
would be far easier if Sandra would let up on Jess’s personal
life. Jess doubted that would happen, though. She didn’t
understand why it mattered to Sandra. Maybe the doctor considered it
important to Jess’s job performance; ensuring Silver Tide’s
captain could carry out her duties was one of Sandra’s primary
responsibilities.
Enough brooding. Jess lifted the tray
into her lap, settled back, and made herself eat. True to his word,
Matrix had arranged an excellent dinner. The pasta almost melted in
her mouth. She wished she could enjoy it more.
Matrix had put a patch with the
anti-nausea medicine on the tray. When Jess applied it to her inner
elbow, it blended into her skin, turning golden-brown. She rubbed her
fingers over the patch, remembering how her skin had evoked taunts in
her youth. As the world grew more cosmopolitan, acceptance among
races and cultures had improved, but it still wasn’t perfect.
Jess had learned that lesson the hard way. Circumstances had forced
her to become a fighter at a young age, aided by her height,
strength, and stubborn refusal to back down from bullies. Friendship
had been hard for her in those years, and it had never become easier.
It was strange how life could change.
She had always perceived herself as rough-edged, but years later a
top modeling agency had offered her a contract, lauding her
purportedly "long-limbed grace and exotic style." Her
height, unusual even for a high-fashion model, had intrigued them, as
had her military rank. That had been the rage back then: sleek,
svelte fashion with an undertone of soldierly power. Flustered, she
had thanked them but turned down the job, far more at home with
starship engines than runways.
"I have Ambassador Ko on your
private line," Matrix announced.
Jess swallowed so fast she choked.
Sitting up, she cleared her throat. "Put him on."
"Audio, visual, or both?"
She wasn’t ready to face him on
visual. But they couldn’t talk, and to use sign language they
had to see each other. "Did the ambassador request visual?"
"His human translator contacted me
by audio," Matrix said.
Thank you, Ghar. "Just put on the
audio then."
"Incoming," Matrix said.
Ghar’s translator spoke, his
resonant voice filling the air. "My greetings, Captain
Fernández."
"Good evening, Your Excellency."
"How long does Icelos have the
fortune of your company?"
That sounded like he was glad to hear
from her. Then again, Ghar was a diplomat. He had to sound pleasant.
"I’m here two days."
Jess hesitated. "I thought if you were free, we might, uh . . .
meet for dinner." She winced at the clumsy invitation. As the
Ambassador from Cepheus to the Allied Worlds, Ghar spent most of his
time on Earth. When he traveled, he booked his commitments far in
advance, and his visits to Icelos were packed with obligations. She
waited, her shoulders hunched in anticipation of his refusal.
"Dinner would be acceptable,"
he answered. "Shall we meet at the Junction in half an hour?"
Jess released the breath she had been
holding. He didn’t exactly sound overjoyed, but at least he
hadn’t refused. "Yes. Half an hour."
The Junction reminded Jess of a ski
lodge, with its big fireplace and old-fashioned bar. Located at the
base of the cliffs outside town, it served the human visitors on
Icelos, a sort of last stop before striking out into Cephean
territory. Jess doubted Ghar wanted to eat here; he couldn’t
sit in the chairs and he disliked the food. More likely, he wanted to
take her to the Cephean settlement where he lived when visiting
Icelos.
Jess waited by the bar, watching
musicians play on the stage across the room. She was too restless to
stand still for long. The med patch was working; she hadn’t
felt this good in weeks. Finally she decided to head into the cliffs.
She knew the route Ghar took, so she could meet him on the way.
Despite the strange situation, she looked forward to seeing him.
Cold air hit her face as she left the
lodge. She had worn a sweater over her uniform, a long coat, and
heavy boots, but she still shivered with the chill. It never ceased
to amaze her how Cepheans thrived in this climate. Of course, she
didn’t have a four-inch pelt covering her body.
The road wound steeply up into the
mountains. Gold posts stood at intervals, made from fluted metal,
with smoked-glass lamps hanging from their tops, casting ghostly
light. On her left, a cliff rose into the darkness: on the right, a
wall at chest height bordered the road. Beyond it, a canyon plunged
down for over a kilometer, fading into a heavy mist. Snow crunched
under her boots, deeper here where no machines cleared the lane.
Cepheans liked it this way.
Eons ago this land had been flat.
Underground rivers had hollowed it into a maze of buried limestone
caverns. Water rich with bicarbonate and calcium ions dripped from
cavern ceilings, hardening into stalactites like huge icicles of
rock, or falling to the ground and building up conical stalagmites.
Eventually the land sheered upward, buckling into mountains
honeycombed by caves. It made an eerily beautiful landscape, haunting
and unforgettable.
Jess had seen how it unsettled human
visitors here to know the Cepheans chose this forbidding landscape
for their home when they could easily have settled the plains
instead. Cepheans lived vertically instead of horizontally, a
difference hard to fathom for a species with only two arms. The
Cepheans’ blunt refusal to acknowledge that their way of life
might not suit everyone exacerbated the unease they created in their
human neighbors.
A distant voice startled Jess out of
her reverie. She paused, listening. The voice hadn’t sounded
Cephean, but few humans came up here even in the day, and at night
they avoided the desolate road like a plague.
Up ahead, a path branched off this main
one. She went over and peered down the trail, but the dim light made
it hard to see. Was someone in trouble? Concerned, she headed down
the path. The cliffs on either side leaned inward and met about a
meter above her head. Stretching out her arms, she could touch the
walls of rock on either side. Limestone caves glistened on either
side, with stalactites and stalagmites glazed by frost like stone
icicles, a wonderland of sparkling stone lace. She doubted any human
explorer had yet mapped the full warren of passages up here. The
serenity and deep silence appealed to her, reminding her of the
silent expanses of interstellar space.
She neither saw nor heard anyone,
though, and she couldn’t spend too long here, lest she miss
Ghar on the main path. Finally she headed back. As she passed a cave
on her right, a glint behind a stalagmite caught her eye. It came
from . . . what? A small cage? It was so well hidden, she had missed
it before. Pausing, she stepped into the cave and knelt by the cage.
Mewling greeted her. A furry white
animal butted its head against the bars, its pointed ears quirked
forward. It resembled a comalkos, a popular pet among Cepheans,
possibly descended from an early form of Earth feline. Looking more
closely, she realized it actually was a kitten.
"What are you doing out here?"
She scratched its head, pushing her fingers through the bars. It
purred at her.
Scraping sounds caught her attention.
Peering around, she realized the cave held many cages, all with cats.
She doubted they belonged here. And she had heard a voice before–
Responding with instincts tempered by
decades of experience, Jess jumped up and took off, striding back to
the main road. She could come back with security officers from town.
If the animals were legal, no problem. But hiding cats in these
mountains was too strange to ignore.
Her footsteps crunched on rock. The
natural chambers on either side of the path magnified sound–and
so Jess distinctly heard the words, even from some distance behind
her:
"Shit. She saw the cages."
Jess didn’t pause to question–she
just burst into a run.
She never heard the knife sing through
the air, but she couldn’t miss the crackle as it sliced her
overcoat and sweater. The blade cut deep into her side. Another knife
hit her leg, ripping through her uniform. Lord only knew how those
blades were made, if they could so easily rip through layers of
reinforced cloth. Part of her mind instinctively recoiled from the
attack, but the rest of her concentration narrowed into a tight focus
as her training took over. It happened too fast for her to feel pain.
Yet.
As she ran, the tatters of her overcoat
flapped around her legs, making her stumble. Jess yanked off the coat
and threw it down, never slowing. Her injured leg felt like putty,
and dizziness threatened. At the back of her mind, she thought of the
life she had to protect, the child inside of her, and she managed
another spurt of speed.
By the time Jess reached the main path,
her sprint had turned into a stagger. Her heart was pounding so hard,
her entire body shook with it. She lurched across the road and hit
the wall that separated it from the chasm. Before she could catch her
balance, hands grabbed her from behind and swung her around, slamming
her against the wall. Jess found herself staring at a tall man who
looked like his name ought to be Buzz, as in an electrified
chain-saw,
"Now you’ve done it,"
he said through clenched teeth. Two more people came out of the side
path and sprinted toward them, a stocky man with red hair and a gaunt
woman.
Jess strained to breathe. "What do
you want?"
Instead of answering, Buzz heaved her
upward. In that instant, the woman reached them. Without hesitation,
she aided Buzz, yanking up Jess’s legs, sending pain blazing
through the wound. Jess’s icy calm snapped into the cold fury
that came over her in combat. She smacked her hands against Buzz’s
elbows and shoved inward, breaking his hold. At the same time, she
brought up her knee hard. He choked, dropping his arms and doubling
up, his face contorted. As the woman shoved Jess up the wall, Jess
kicked out at her. A loud crack rent the air and the woman shouted,
falling backward, her left hand clenched on her right arm, which was
bent now at an odd angle.
Jess had no time to wonder why the
bloody hell they wanted to kill her. The second man was already
lunging at her, bringing down the knife-edge of his hand. He mistimed
the blow, as fighters often did in unfamiliar gravity. With her more
extensive training, Jess easily blocked it, but she still reeled
under the impact when the blow hit her arm.
Buzz was coming back at her now, his
face set in hard lines, and the woman wasn’t far behind him. As
Jess fought off the second man, her muscles straining, Buzz caught
her again. With the woman’s help, he pushed Jess up the wall.
Jess tried to stop them, tried to wrench free, but she couldn’t
take on three at once, not with her injuries. Her leg responded only
sluggishly and a deep burning seared her side. They pushed her up the
wall–
And her hips cleared the top.
Jess went rigid, with nothing but air
and a canyon at her back. In that moment, as she faced her death, she
thought with cold clarity, You have no right. It enraged her that
they could so cavalierly murder the mystery child she had come to
treasure. She twisted hard, to the side, toward the road. Her efforts
wrenched her out of their grip, but–ah, no!–she fell,
fell, fell–
And hit the road with a crash that
slammed out the air in her lungs. A man’s scream reverberated
in the air, splitting the night. Jess jerked up her head–
And froze.
Caught in the light from a lamp, a
giant towered above them. Fiery red-gold fur covered his body and a
mane of curls swept back from his face to his shoulders. Huge muscles
rippled in his legs and arms, visible through his trousers and tunic.
His shoulders had immense breadth and width, with massive blades that
extended down his body to accommodate his second pair of arms. His
lips were drawn back, baring fangs more than two inches long. His
tail whipped through the air, six feet long and as thick as a man’s
body where it met his back. His lower arms were reaching for what his
upper pair already held high over his head: the man Buzz.
As Jess stared, the ambassador from
Cepheus to Earth threw his human captive into the canyon.
III
Cavern of Ladders
Jess drifted awake, warm but
unaccountably stiff. Why did her quarters have a musky scent? Silver
Tide usually smelled sanitized. She stretched–and pain shot
through her body.
"Ah!" She snapped awake. Oh,
hell. She wasn’t on Silver Tide. She was about to be hefted
into a canyon.
Opening her eyes, she stared across a
dimly lit room; no cliff, just a polished stone chamber. The tables
and desks were double-tiered, designed for two pairs of arms, and a
few feet taller than what humans would build. She was lying on a
stone floor, on a rug, with her back against a padded wall. Another
rug covered her, soft on her skin. Jess recognized the furs. Cepheans
made them from a silken material they sheared off an animal called
the abryr, one of the few Cephean words humans could pronounce, said
with a growl in the throat.
Despite the cushion of blankets, the
ground was rough beneath her. A ridge ran under her waist and another
under her torso. She wore nothing except a shift and two bandages,
one around her waist and the other around her thigh.
Memory returned: cats, the attack,
Ghar. She had lost so much blood; then she had lost consciousness.
The wall behind her shifted.
For an instant Jess was too startled to
move. Then she rolled onto her back, carefully, favoring her
injuries. The "wall" behind her was alive.
Oh, Lord. She was staring at the chest
of a Cephean sleeping on his side. A large Cephean. The "ridges"
she had felt under her body were his arms; he was holding her around
her waist and torso. She lay in a cage of limbs, four to be exact. It
was so strange, and so unexpected, that she couldn’t even react
at first.
Finally she said, "Ghar?" Her
voice rasped.
He continued to sleep.
She tried again. "Ghar? Can you
hear me?"
His lashes lifted, revealing two brown
eyes, dark and liquid. He blinked as if trying to fathom her
presence. Then his hands shifted, his claws retracted so he didn’t
jab her. He moved them against her back, signing in the language used
by the deaf. It was the method of conversing they had tried before, a
playful experiment that had ended up communicating far more than they
had intended, or at least more than they had been willing to admit.
Do you hurt? he asked.
Jess was too self-conscious to think
how she felt about his touching her, beyond her confusion at the
situation and his presence. She signed against his chest, her fingers
buried in his fur. I’m all right. Where is this?
You came here the last time you
visited. His fingers stilled. Then, carefully, he added, Maybe you
forgot.
Oh. Now she recognized the place. His
rooms. They had spent the night here, on this pile of blankets in
fact. He had just offered her a chance to pretend it never happened.
She wondered how he would explain, if she chose to develop amnesia,
why she was in bed with him now.
I remember, she signed.
The rigid muscles in his arms relaxed.
I too.
I have another memory, she signed. But
it must be a mistake.
What memory?
You threw a man into the chasm.
His hand made a claw on her back. Your
memory is not a mistake.
She stared at him. Ghar, why?
You were covered with blood, one breath
from dying.
Grateful as she was at his
intervention, her unease grew as she absorbed the implications of his
actions. The few times a Cephean had injured a human, it had provoked
outrage on Earth; reports of the incidents glittered with invective,
their censure stretching like a metallic tissue that looked strong
but ripped easily, exposing the underlying panic humans felt when
confronted by neighbors who were just human enough to make their
immense differences terrifying. What would happen when it became
known that the Cephean ambassador, the one they were supposed to
trust, had murdered a man?
Jess signed slowly. If you hadn’t
come, I would be dead. I am grateful, more than I can say. But we
have trouble.
He answered tiredly. Your authorities
demand my extradition.
How long have I’ve been here?
About two Icelos days.
Good Lord. Twenty-two hours. Her ship
would be behind schedule now. Why didn’t my crew take me?
They wanted to.
What stopped them?
He paused. That answer connects to my
second crime.
What second crime?
Holding a Space Corps officer hostage.
Bloody hell. I’m not a hostage.
They think you are.
You won’t let them see me?
His intransigence came through his
signing. No.
Ghar, this is nuts.
They might harm you.
Jess didn’t know what to think.
She had believed he would want to forget what happened; never had she
expected him to react with the same possessive intensity a Cephean
would direct toward his Cephean mate.
He signed on her back. Why were those
people trying to kill you?
I don’t know. I only saw a bunch
of cats.
Cats?
In cages, hidden in a cave. She tensed.
What happened after I saw you on the road?
Your other attackers ran. I pursued.
And then? Her hand clenched in his fur.
Ghar caught her fingers. I killed no
one else.
Jess let out the breath she had been
holding. That is good to know.
His growl rumbled. I might have killed
them, if you hadn’t needed my attention more.
Well, no one had ever claimed Cepheans
were peaceful. But she would have never predicted this from Ghar.
Your authorities want proof you still
live, he added.
I’m not surprised. She hoped
Sandra hadn’t told them about the pregnancy, but she knew if
the doctor feared for Jess’s life, Sandra would speak up
regardless of how confidential Jess wanted the matter. The security
people on Silver Tide would make the obvious assumption: if they
knew, Ghar probably did as well. No one could fully predict his
response, but he obviously was no more likely than anyone else to
believe he was the only candidate for proud papa. Given his recent
behavior, Security had good reason to think Jess’s life might
be at risk.
Although Jess didn’t think Ghar
would kill her, she couldn’t be sure. About one thing she had
no doubt: if Ghar murdered a lieutenant colonel in the Space Corps, a
starship commander who served as an Earth-Cepheus liaison, all hell
would break loose.
Jess signed against his chest. I must
return to Silver Tide. She tried to sit up, and pain shot through her
torso, followed by a rush of nausea. With a groan, she lay down
again.
He set his lower arm across her waist,
pinning her. You must go nowhere.
Jess recognized her nausea. Apparently
Sandra’s med patch wasn’t 100 percent effective. Either
that, or this was more serious than morning sickness. What if she had
lost the baby? No. She couldn’t have miscarried. Surely Ghar
would have known. But would he understand? Jess didn’t know how
to ask. She was vulnerable now, undefended if he thought she had
betrayed him.
Who patched me up after the attack? she
asked.
Me.
So he hadn’t let a Cephean doctor
see her. It made sense; it would have provoked questions he probably
wanted to avoid. Did I have other injuries? she asked. Bleeding
anywhere else?
No. Only the two wounds.
Relief poured over her. Still, she
needed to be sure. I should be checked by a human doctor.
A growl rumbled in his throat. You
should stay here.
She tried to decipher his expression.
Although fur covered his face, it wasn’t long except where a
human man would have a beard. Most humans found Cephean faces
difficult to read, but she had learned to judge Ghar’s moods.
Right now he looked uncertain.
She signed, Your government can’t
like my being here any more than mine does.
His gaze didn’t waver. Bor
supports my decisions.
Bor? As in Bor Chi? You mean the
Cephean First Councilor?
Yes.
Good Lord. If Ghar called one of the
most influential leaders on his home world by a personal name, he was
placed even higher in his government than she had realized. Bor Chi
gives you his protection?
In public. His fingers slowed on her
back. In private, he asks if I am insane.
But he stands by your decisions?
Yes.
Why?
He trusts my judgment. After a pause,
Ghar added, He is also the older brother of my aunt’s husband.
So. Kin ties. They were strong among
Cepheans, apparently even in a hostage situation. Except she wasn’t
a hostage. At least she hoped she wasn’t.
Why won’t you let a human doctor
see me? she asked.
He stiffened. Humans tried to kill you.
Three people tried to kill me. Not all
humans.
Maybe.
Why do you suddenly distrust humans?
His claws scraped her back. I have
always distrusted humans.
That gave her pause. It never showed.
My job was to overcome distrust.
What has changed?
Overcoming distrust is a euphemism for
taking risks. He regarded her steadily. I have no intention to risk
your life.
Jess felt as if a crystal sculpture of
great value were shattering before her eyes, falling as she grabbed
for it, her lunge too late to stop its destruction. You can’t
let the trust between our peoples–a trust you’ve worked
for ten years to build–be destroyed this way.
I have no choice.
Yes, you do. Ghar, you do your job
well. We need you. Both my people and yours.
It’s too late, Jess.
It isn’t! I can go back. Tell the
truth.
A rumble thrummed within his chest. It
isn’t safe.
Jess scowled at him, holding it long
enough so he had plenty of time to decipher the expression. It is my
decision. Not yours.
He answered with only another rumble,
but she recognized that growl. He always made it in protest, when he
was about to give in on an argument but didn’t want to tell
her.
I will talk to the authorities, she
added. Tell them you saved my life.
I don’t want you to go back.
As much as she wanted to deny his
suspicions, Jess had to consider them. Few humans visited this
colony, and the Port Authority kept tabs on all visitors, which
probably meant they knew the identities of the people who tried to
kill her. If the PA had a more covert link to her attackers, such as
turning a blind eye to their activities in return for bribes, she
could end up dead if she contacted them, an unfortunate "incident"
that would be blamed on Ghar.
She frowned. If she discussed the
situation with anyone on her ship, over a distance comm, the PA might
have a way to eavesdrop. Considering, she signed, We can bring
someone here from Silver Tide.
It isn’t possible to contact
them.
Jess wasn’t buying it. Although
Ghar had no obvious comm in his home, she knew perfectly well that
his apartment had modern technology; it was just hidden to make his
home fit with the spare ambiance of the colony. She thumped her fist
on his chest. We need to do this, Ghar.
After a silence, he signed, No military
personnel.
All right. She knew him well enough to
recognize that his lack of an overt refusal was the closest he would
come to expressing his acceptance. She thought about her crew. Who
among the civilians could best deal with what looked like some
bizarre illegal import operation? Jack O’Brien, possibly.
How about the Allied Services? she
asked. They work with smugglers.
No more than three of them. Concern
showed in his gaze. Do you hurt? They can bring medicine to blunt the
pain.
I’m fine. She didn’t want
to risk any drugs during her pregnancy unless they were absolutely
necessary, but this wasn’t the time to explain why.
Just when was a good time, she had no
idea.
Even in the staid uniform of the Allied
Services, with his unruly hair combed, Jack O’Brien still
looked like a pirate to Jess. He came with two assistants, a man and
woman, both in AS uniforms. All three settled on a rug in the main
room of Ghar’s home.
Jess sat with them, wearing a shift
made from one of Ghar’s tunics. Although on him it reached only
to his hips, on her it came below the knees. She had put her arms
through the upper sleeves, rolling them up to free her hands. To pull
in the billows of cloth, she tied the lower sleeves behind her
back–loosely. Even if her uniform hadn’t been ripped and
bloodied, its tight fit would have bothered her. She was almost three
months pregnant; soon she could no longer keep her situation private.
Ghar sat to her right on a blocky
stool, looming over them, silent and formidable. No one missed the
hostility in his position or posture.
"Ambassador Ko saved my life,"
Jess continued, speaking to Jack O’Brien. His female assistant
served as translator, signing for Ghar, while his male assistant
recorded their words on a palmtop.
Jack regarded her intently, as if
trying to decipher what lay behind her words. "Then you and his
Excellency were already planning to meet that night?"
"That’s right." She
suspected Jack had been trained to read body language; in his line of
work, the skill would be invaluable. He might be able to tell if she
were lying or withholding information. So she just said, "Ambassador
Ko and I often work together."
Jack nodded, his gestures restrained.
He didn’t give the impression he disbelieved her; his wariness
seemed more due to Ghar’s presence. As he spoke, his assistant
signed. "We’ll give your full statement to the
authorities."
"Good." Jess exhaled. "This
situation is already too volatile. We need to cool it down."
Jack nodded. "Your talking to us
ought to alleviate matters." He spoke with an assurance probably
meant more to ease Ghar’s enmity than to reassure her.
"I hope so." Jess shook her
head. "All over some cats. I don’t get it."
"They aren’t cats." He
leaned forward. "You stumbled into a delivery by a cartel the AS
has been after for years. My department has never worked on that
case, so our data is limited, but we do know the cartel has moved
business through here before. The port is small and no one pays it
much attention." Dryly he added, "The smugglers probably
never expected the captain of a major Allied starship to show up."
It still made no sense to Jess. "Why
not just get a permit to import comalki? It can’t be all that
expensive."
"Those aren’t comalki."
"They looked like cats."
Jack pushed his hand through his hair,
making them revert to their more usual disheveled state. "The
animals carry a virus. It’s what the cartel actually sells. If
the altered comalkos bites you, you’re sick." Glancing at
Ghar, he shifted his weight. "The virus is deadly to Cepheans."
Ghar signed. "How deadly?"
Jack blew out a gust of air. "Let
those animals loose here and you’d have a killer plague, fast
and vicious."
Jess stared at him. Was the cartel
insane? Icelos was a world of the Skolian Imperialate, which had a
formidable military that protected its own with legendary ferocity.
Most Skolians were human, and Jess had no idea how they felt about
Cepheans–but if they learned an Earth cartel had killed an
entire colony of their citizens, any citizens, their retribution
would be fast and harsh. The Allied Worlds of Earth would have little
chance against them.
She clenched her hand in the cloth of
her shift. "The cartel is out of their minds."
"Not crazy. Greedy." Jack’s
face had paled. "They’d have received a monstrous payment
for that shipment from a fanatic group that wants to kill all the
Cepheans. And hell, if it had started a war, it would’ve
benefited the cartel’s black market." Turning, he spoke
more quietly to Ghar. "Your Excellency, be assured that these
extremists in no way represent the Allied Worlds of Earth. We greatly
value our relations with your people and wish to continue in good
will."
Ghar answered with sharp signs. Such
fanatics also exist among my people. They feel similarly about
humans.
Jess tried to gauge his mood, but she
couldn’t read him. He made no sound as Jack’s assistant
translated his signs.
Jack spoke grimly. "We’ll
punish the cartel. Count on it."
Ghar didn’t answer, he just
watched the AS agents. Now Jess recognized his stare; he was only
thinking, but on the face of a Cephean, the expression looked
murderous. When Jack shifted uneasily, she spoke quickly, to defuse
the tension. "Are those altered comalki immune to this virus?"
Jack glanced at her, relief in his
gaze. "They aren’t really comalki either. They’re
chimeras."
The word sounded vaguely familiar. "I
take it you don’t mean that in the literary sense," Jess
said.
"In a biological sense," Jack
said. "To engineer a chimera, you mix DNA from two species."
She finally remembered where she had
heard the word, in a long-ago college course. "Isn’t a
chimera some kind of mythological beast–head of a lion, tail of
a dragon or something? Breathed fire at people it didn’t like."
He smiled slightly. "That’s
where it originated. In biology it refers to a hybrid animal.
Chimeras are easiest to make using similar species, like lions and
tigers, or comalki and cats."
She could see where he was going. "So
this virus would kill either a comalkos or a cat, but the chimera
survives."
"That’s right." He
glanced uneasily at Ghar. "Cepheans like comalki, so the cartel
found a variant of the animal that could carry the virus."
"Gods," Jess muttered.
Ghar growled deep in his throat, his
lower hands fisted on his knees. He signed with his upper. "Why
don’t you stop these smugglers?"
Jack sat up straighter, his posture
stiffened as if he were preparing to protect himself. "They’ve
managed to stay a step ahead of us. But if Captain Fernández
testifies against them, it could give us the chink we need to bring
down their operation."
Jess thought about three complete
strangers trying to throw her into the canyon, killing not only her,
but also her child. She regarded Jack steadily. "I will
testify."
Ghar snarled, and she needed no
translator to know he said, ‘No!’ in Cephean. His lips
drew back and his teeth glinted like daggers. Then he bared his
claws, which were longer than his fangs.
Jack blanched, but he didn’t back
down. "We need her testimony."
Jess signed to Ghar. I will be in no
danger.
He answered in his own language, a
series of growls. She had trouble with the words, but it sounded like
the equivalent of "They will kill you."
"They won’t hurt me."
She spoke slowly so he could decipher what, to him, was a
high-pitched, sing-song lilt. "I will have protection."
Jack O’Brien was staring at her.
"You understand him?"
Jess glanced at him, distracted.
"Some."
He whistled. "That’s
supposed to be impossible."
Thinking of her child, she answered
dryly. "Many things are impossible. That doesn’t stop them
from happening." She had to change the subject before Ghar
decided Jack was endangering her life and hefted him out a window.
"How did the cartel get started?"
"A wealthy collector set it up
about thirty-five years ago," Jack said. "He wanted Cephean
rugs in his collection."
"Why didn’t he just buy
them?" she asked, incredulous. Granted the rugs were expensive,
but their prices weren’t exorbitant, especially for the
wealthy.
"He didn’t want abryr rugs."
Jack glanced at Ghar as if weighing whether to continue. "He
wanted Cephean pelts."
Jess stiffened as if she had been
kicked. She had heard stories of people who skinned Cepheans for
their fur, but she had never credited them before.
Ghar signed hard, using all four hands
to emphasize his message. Humans are sick.
Please don’t judge us all by the
aberrations of a few, Jess signed. I’m human too.
He answered in his own language. "You
are unique."
Jack was watching with them open
curiosity–until Ghar fixed him with a hostile glare. Flushing,
Jack immediately recomposed his face to show a lack of interest.
Ghar spoke through the translator. "Did
this collector get his pelts?"
Jack shook his head. "No. None.
Our authorities caught the hunters he sent to Cepheus. But none of
the hunters would talk. We couldn’t gather the evidence to
convict him."
"He went free?" Ghar’s
angry incredulity showed in his the motion of his hands. "To
murder again?"
Jack hesitated. "He didn’t
send any more hunters."
"You evade my question," Ghar
said.
"You won’t like the answer."
"Tell it anyway."
Jack exhaled. "He wanted specialty
pelts."
A foreboding was building within Jess,
and this time her nausea didn’t come from pregnancy. "What
kind of specialty?"
Jack turned to her. "From
Cephean-human chimeras. It would give fur with the richness of
Cephean pelts, the silkiness of human hair, and colors you couldn’t
get from a pure Cephean."
Jess was gripping the sleeves of her
shift so tightly, her fingernails gouged her palms. "Are you
telling me this madman created Cephean-human chimeras and skinned
them?"
Jack answered quietly. "No. His
people never succeeded in making a viable chimera."
Ghar signed sharply. "Why didn’t
you stop him?"
"We had no proof."
Frustration showed on Jack’s face. "To create a smooth
pelt, the chimera would have to express Cephean genes, yet still have
the desired human traits. That kind of selectivity requires methods
more sophisticated than we have now, decades later. Back then it
couldn’t be done at all." He shook his head. "What
could we arrest him on? Researching chimeras isn’t illegal."
The light glinted on Ghar’s
fangs. "Only a human would let such a monster go free."
"He was arrested." Jack gave
him a wintry smile. "For evading interstellar import taxes. He
did time."
"Not enough." Ghar regarded
him coldly. "It couldn’t have been enough."
No, Jess thought. It could never be
enough.
Windows in the main room of Ghar’s
home overlooked a cavern. The Cephean colonists lived in apartments
cut from the walls of the great cave, their homes stacked up for ten
stories, Cephean stories, double the height humans built. No lifts
served the cavern; instead, vertical staircases ran up the walls like
ladders, forming throughways much as humans built roads. Among the
crowds of Cepheans climbing in the city of ladders, Jess saw many
pelt colors, from common browns to rarer grays. None resembled the
dramatic fiery color of Ghar’s fur.
A rustle came from behind Jess. In her
side vision, she saw Ghar join her at the window. They stood
together, gazing at the cavern. It felt odd having him tower over
her; Jess was used to being taller than most people.
After a moment Jess turned to him. He
signed to her. Do your injuries hurt?
I’m all right. Although she ached
all over, she could handle it. You’ve been very quiet about
what Jack O’Brien told us.
He unsheathed his claws, and they
curved like miniature scythes. What is there to say? That I want to
kill humans?
Jess stiffened.
Not you. His signing slowed, and he
touched her cheek with his claw. I wish to do to humans what I hate
them wanting to do to Cepheans.
Jess froze, acutely aware of the honed
point against her skin.
Watching her, Ghar sheathed his claws.
Then he lowered himself onto a tall stool by the window. Even seated,
he was slightly taller than Jess. He drew her forward until she was
standing between his legs, then locked his lower arms around her
waist and signed with his upper. Bor Chi has ruled that I have no
guilt in the death of the smuggler, but your people don’t
agree. It means I can never return to the territory of the Allied
Worlds. When you leave here, I can see you no more. He paused. So you
will not leave.
Jess knew he spoke in anger. If he
forced her to stay, it would be a disaster, one she doubted he wanted
any more than she did. I have to go. But I will find ways to visit
you.
No.
You may not feel that way when you hear
what I have to say.
Why?
Will you first answer a question?
His gaze searched her face. Ask.
Do you know your parents?
Of course.
That stopped her. If he knew his
parents, her suspicions had no basis. Do you see them often?
They died.
Jess signed regret. I am sorry.
His tail twitched through the air. I
never really knew them. It happened right after my birth. Our
transport crashed in the snow. Hikers found me two days later.
Jess stared at him. How could a newborn
survive alone, in the snow, for two days?
I don’t know. But I did.
She braced herself. I don’t
believe the child in that transport lived. Someone took his body and
put you in his place.
His lips drew back in an expression
that, if Jess hadn’t known meant amusement, she would have
believed was a snarl. Your imagination is fertile, he signed.
So is my body.
What?
Jess took a deep breath. During my last
visit to the colony you were the only–She stopped. My only
companion.
His tail curled over his shoulder and
its tip stroked her hair. I know you don’t expect me to share
you. I wouldn’t have been with you otherwise.
I’m glad you know that, Ghar.
Because I’m pregnant.
He regarded her blankly. What?
I’m pregnant.
I have a trouble with your signing. I
don’t understand your word.
Pregnant. I’m going to have a
baby. Yours.
His growl rumbled. It isn’t
amusing, Jess.
She laid his hand on her abdomen. I
carry a child.
Ghar pulled back his hand, his claws
unsheathing, points glittering. If you have a child, it is not mine.
Jess hoped she hadn’t just signed
her death warrant. There was no one else. It must be yours.
It cannot be. I am not human.
Yes. You are.
His tail snapped through the air like a
whip. Stop mocking me.
I’m not. Jess pushed back the
tendrils of hair that had curled around her face. Ever since I
learned about the baby, I’ve been trying to understand. After
we talked to Jack, I knew.
You think this sick collector made me
for his collection.
Yes. But his people must have decided
they couldn’t go through with it, raising you to be murdered
for your fur.
This is how you explain your
infidelity? His claws glinted as he signed. I would have expected
better from you.
I can prove it. The doctor on my ship
can compare our DNA with the fetus. She’ll know, Ghar.
She will say what you command her to
say.
You know me better than that.
I thought I did. I was wrong.
You weren’t wrong.
So you claim. Ghar considered her. Very
well. I will do these tests. His gaze turned implacable. Pray they
don’t prove you a liar.
Jess watched from Ghar’s
apartment high in the cavern, while far below Sandra walked with her
Cephean escort. Next to their towering forms, the doctor looked like
a silver-haired child. Stairs led up to Ghar’s apartment,
turning into ladders as the walls became vertical. It took a long
time for Sandra and her escort to climb, but finally they disappeared
from Jess’s view behind a ridge in the cavern. She waited,
trying in vain to keep her muscles from knotting any tighter with her
tension.
The front door of the apartment opened.
A few moments later Sandra appeared in the wide entrance of the room
where Jess waited. The doctor was alone; as instructed, the escort
had left after delivering her. It was the second time in the past day
Jess had seen her.
A heavy tread came from across the
room. Turning, Jess saw Ghar in the entrance to an inner chamber. He
stood with his lower arms braced against the sides of the doorway and
his upper arms against the top. His tail whipped around his body,
then settled down.
Sandra’s gaze flicked from Ghar
to Jess. "I’ve finished the analysis." She paused as
Jess signed for Ghar. Then Sandra spoke directly to him. "I am
deeply sorry, your Excellency."
Ghar watched Jess sign, then turned to
Sandra. "Why sorry?"
The doctor spoke quietly. "Someone
played with your genetics on a scale like none I’ve ever seen.
You have human DNA throughout your body. The mingling is so extensive
I doubt it can be fully mapped." She took a breath. "You’re
a chimera, Ambassador Ko. You combine the heredity of two people. And
one of those is human."
"No!" Ghar signed.
"I’m sorry," Sandra
repeated softly.
He signed fast and sharp. "If my
DNA had anomalies, it would have shown up in my ID scans."
"ID scans don’t go into
enough detail. Cephean DNA is barely different from human, less than
2 percent." Sandra stopped while Jess caught up with her
signing. When the doctor spoke again, excitement leaked into her
voice. "Your DNA map is incredible. The subtlety is like nothing
I’ve ever seen. To reveal the differences between yours and
that of a normal Cephean, I had to do a much more extensive set of
tests than any you’ve probably had before."
Ghar said nothing, just stood like a
statue.
"And the baby?" Jess was so
wound up she forgot to sign her question. Then, remembering, she
repeated it for Ghar.
"Most of Ambassador Ko’s
tissues express Cephean genes," Sandra said. "But his germ
cells are human. Chimeras are usually sterile, but they don’t
have to be. He produces some functional human sperm." She
glanced at Ghar. "Your Excellency, you are the father of Captain
Fernández’s child."
Ghar answered in his own language. "It
is impossible." His growls rolled through the room.
As Sandra’s forehead furrowed,
Jess said, "He doesn’t believe you."
Sandra regarded them both with her
painful compassion. "I can only give you the results. I can’t
make them what you want to hear."
Jess started to sign the words to Ghar,
but he abruptly turned and left the room.
Sandra exhaled, looking at Jess. "I’m
sorry. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true."
Jess just nodded. What could she say?
That she wanted to ram Silver Tide down the throat of whoever had
done this to Ghar? True as that might be, it solved nothing.
"The results probably explain a
lot to him," Sandra said.
"What do you mean?"
"They showed up a slew of
anomalies." Sandra shook her head. "For one thing, whoever
played with his cells didn’t get the lower arms right.
Apparently he’s had them broken and reset in an attempt to fix
them. He has metal rods in both to extend their length to what’s
normal for a Cephean."
Jess could imagine what Ghar’s
people would do if they discovered the true reason for his problems.
"Sandra, you must keep this confidential."
"Unless you and Ambassador Ko
choose otherwise, no one but the three of us will ever know."
Jess hesitated to ask her next
question; nothing Sandra could say would make this easier. But her
curiosity persisted. "Do you know what Ghar would have been like
as a human?"
"Irish, I think. His hair and eyes
would be the same color they are now." The doctor looked
apologetic. "That’s about all I can tell."
As hard as it was to imagine him as
human, it wasn’t impossible. In her mind, Jess could see a
burly Irishman striding across green hills on Earth, his red curls
whipping back from his face, his beard thick and full. It hurt to
envision what could never be.
And Ghar? She couldn’t imagine
how he would deal with this, knowing he carried within himself the
identity of a people he distrusted, even hated now. How would he
reconcile his knowledge of the hostile parts that constituted his
whole?
"I have to talk to him," Jess
said. "Alone."
"And then?"
"I’ll come back to Silver
Tide."
Relief washed across Sandra’s
face. "I’ll send up an air stretcher."
"I can walk."
Sandra gave a familiar scowl. "I
have eyes. I can see you hurt."
The last thing Jess wanted was people
fussing over her. More than ever, she and Ghar needed privacy now.
"I’ll be all right." She thought of the many
staircases she had to navigate to reach the cavern floor. "I
will rest here first, though."
Sandra didn’t look thrilled, but
she accepted the compromise. "One day. That’s all."
After Sandra left, Jess limped through
the apartment. She found Ghar in his bedroom, sitting on a stool and
staring at nothing. She almost stopped out of reach of his claws;
then she decided to trust her judgment and went to stand before him.
Do you want to be alone? she asked.
No. He sheathed his claws and touched
her face with his upper left hand. I thought you lied to explain the
baby. I misjudged you. I am sorry.
She felt how much that admission cost
him. I understand.
Will you go back to Silver Tide with
your friend?
My friend?
The doctor.
She blinked. Where did you get the idea
Sandra Bolton is my friend?
He moved his lower hands in a
horizontal motion, palms down, the closest equivalent Cepheans had to
a shrug. You interact with each other as do humans I have seen who
call each other friend.
All we do is argue.
In my experience, this is not an
unusual way for humans to express friendship.
Jess didn’t know what to make of
that, at least in the context of Sandra. She drives me nuts.
She cares what happens to you.
Jess would never have used the word
friendship for her strained relationship with the doctor. And yet . .
. she wasn’t sure how to define friendship. She had guarded her
emotions for so long, maybe she could no longer see what lay in front
of her.
Or sat.
She regarded Ghar silently, aware of
him watching her back. To grapple with this business of love, she
could have chosen a far less difficult path than involvement with a
Cephean. But this was the path she had to walk, and so she would, if
she could only figure out how.
Ghar brushed his fingers down her arm.
Incredibly, you and I have made a child. At least for this I am
pleased.
I too. It was the truth. But she
couldn’t relax with him. Not yet. When he drew her forward, she
put her palms against his shoulders, keeping him at bay. He had his
lower arms around her, his muscles ridged against her back. She
touched the two-inch fang that came down over his lip, white against
the curls of his beard. A slightly harder push on the tip of that
incisor would draw blood from her finger.
Pulling away her hand, she signed to
him. Does this response of yours mean I need not fear for my life?
His lips drew back in a snarl, though
she knew he was showing dismay rather than rage. Using his upper
hands, he signed with determination. I would never kill you. Never.
Even if you thought I lied about the
child’s father?
Even if that. A low rumble came from
his chest, not anger, but another emotion, sorrow perhaps. I would
have sent you away and advised Bor to cut ties with Earth.
I would never betray your trust. Jess
spoke evenly. But if I had, it wouldn’t be worth destroying
relations between our peoples.
It was a moment before Ghar responded.
A few days ago I would have agreed. Right now it is hard to remember
why I ever wanted to establish trust with your people. It would have
been the final blow to discover you had treated what passed between
us with such disregard as to end up with another man’s child on
that same night. His signing slowed, as if his hands were weary. In
time, my common sense would have prevailed. But by then, the damage
may have been beyond repair.
She gentled her motions. I understand,
Ghar. But I must return to Silver Tide.
After a long pause, he signed, You are
free to leave.
Only then did her posture ease. Putting
her arms around his neck, she laid her cheek against his shoulder.
He held her with all four arms and
signed against her spine, his large hands covering most of her back.
You should have the doctor send someone up with an air-stretcher.
I don’t need one. I’m okay.
You are not ‘okay.’
I’m fine.
He growled. You are as stubborn as a
stalagmite.
Jess tried to laugh, but it caught in
her throat. She saw no end to this mess. It had one glimmer of light,
the baby. A miracle. But it would be insane to reveal the child’s
paternity. She had seen the hatred bred by xenophobia. Had Ghar
killed one of his own kind, Earth would never have cared and Bor Chi
would never have absolved him. She didn’t want to imagine what
their peoples would say to a child born of a human woman and Cephean
male.
Ghar pulled back so he could see her
face. He held her shoulders with his upper arms and signed with his
lower pair. Your ship is a metal hull. It can never hold you in the
night when loneliness stalks your dreams.
It is my home.
This could become your home.
Come live with me on Silver Tide.
His growl rumbled. I would die in your
silver cage.
Jess signed sorrow to him. If we live
together, your people and mine will make our lives hell.
He watched her with his large eyes.
Brown eyes. Human eyes. Then stay with me this one last night.
Jess touched his face. Tonight, I will
stay.
IV
Bridge
Jess maneuvered her bulk through the
hatchway to the bridge and floated forward. She had followed Sandra’s
advice rigorously and rarely spent time in free fall, so she savored
these few moments the doctor allowed her. Being weightless offered a
much-appreciated relief; at more than eight months pregnant, she was
as unwieldy as a cargo barge.
She hauled herself to the command chair
and settled in with a grunt. Panels shifted around her, adjusting to
her size. In response to her commands, the robot arm that supported
the chair carried it through the kilometer-wide bridge hemisphere.
She passed a smaller robot arm ridden by one of her officers. When
the lieutenant lifted her hand in salute, Jess grinned and saluted
back. Then she moved on, until she stopped in the center of the
hemisphere.
Jess spoke into her wrist comm.
"Commander Carson, have we finished loading the cargo for the
Flanders team?"
The voice of Al Carson, her Exec, came
out of the comm. "In about five minutes, Captain."
"Excellent." She shifted
position, trying to get comfortable. The chair molded to her body,
accommodating her efforts.
Suddenly she stiffened, while muscular
ripples moved down her abdomen. As if eager to join in, her baby
chose that moment to give a hearty kick. Jess couldn’t help but
laugh. "You’re a strong one."
"Ma’am?" Al asked over
her comm. "I didn’t catch that."
She wondered what Al would think if she
told him she was having Braxton-Hicks contractions, the "practice"
a woman’s body underwent toward the end of pregnancy as it
prepared for labor. Knowing Al, he would take it in stride. It wasn’t
genuine labor; she wouldn’t give birth for at least another
three weeks.
"The Flanders personnel are
aboard," she told Al. "As soon as we finish loading their
equipment, we can leave orbit."
"Aye, Captain."
Jess settled back and activated the
holoscreens. The bridge went from a vast metal cavern to–nothing.
The crew consoles on the hull seemed suspended in space. Dominating
the view, a luminous blue world rotated, girdled by silvery rings.
Far more distant, a white star pierced space, the parent sun for this
iceball world, its light filtered by the screens. Silver Tide had
stopped here to pick up a team of scientists headed back to Earth.
A familiar longing came over Jess, the
wanderlust that had stirred her heart for as long as she could
remember. She would have loved to go down to the science station
floating in the atmosphere of the planet, don an environment suit,
power up a fly-craft, and explore the world firsthand. But she hadn’t
left Silver Tide for months now. Sandra didn’t want her to risk
acceleration, and Jess’s presence on-planet hadn’t been
necessary during their stops.
"Such a beautiful sight," Al
Carson murmured. "Like a sphere of turquoise and sapphire
light."
"You sound poetic today,"
Jess said.
He chuckled. "It happens every now
and then."
A twinge of sorrow came to her, one
that had caught her often these pasts months, sometimes when she
encountered a sight she would have liked to have shared with Ghar,
like this one, other times when she saw a family together. She and
Ghar spoke on occasion, but it was difficult to arrange the
interstellar communication. She wished he could be here, or if not
here, then someplace where they could see each other when they had
the chance.
They didn’t have that option.
Although the authorities on Earth had dropped the kidnapping charge
against Ghar, the murder accusation remained. At least Jess’s
testimony had helped bring down the cartel’s operation in the
colony and ease the outpouring of public anger against Ghar. For all
that Cepheans made them uneasy, the people of Earth were horrified by
the attempted genocide on Icelos.
Allied Services had acted fast to wipe
out the plague chimeras. It had kept the Skolians from declaring open
hostilities against Earth, but relations between Cepheus and Earth
had still deteriorated. Angered by the murder charge against Ghar,
one of their most prominent citizens–one who had prevented the
brutal death of an Allied Space Corps officer–the Cephean
authorities steadfastly refused to extradite him. Cephean portrayals
of Jess were scathing, which incensed the Space Corps. So Ghar
remained on Cepheus and the Cephean embassy on Earth remained empty.
The situation disheartened Jess. In the
past, hatreds on Earth had burned over race, religion, sexual
orientation, and customs. Those differences seemed to fade now,
compared to the variations between humans and their altered kin on
other worlds. Although Jess and Ghar had never revealed that their
relationship went beyond friendship, their acquaintance caused
outrage anyway, a response Jess had never experienced in her
interracial marriage with the man from Norway.
Nor did her pregnancy sit well with her
superiors; she had broken an unwritten code of the Space Corps by
remaining pregnant without a spouse. Although no regulations
prohibited an officer in her position from giving birth out of
wedlock, the brass didn’t like it. But where Ghar was
concerned, she had few options. Even if her government hadn’t
considered him a criminal, she and Ghar might not have been able to
marry. No one knew; no legal precedents existed. And Jess had no
intention of taking vows with someone she didn’t love just for
the sake of being married.
At her request, the Space Corps kept
the identity of her child’s father confidential. Although she
managed to retain her command, she had been passed over for
promotion. She could only work hard and hope the situation improved.
She had agreed to the tests requested by the medical team studying
her child. It was unheard of for a chimera as complex as Ghar to
exist, let alone be fertile, but without him, their studies were
limited. Unless Cepheus and Earth reached a truce that allowed their
scientists to collaborate again, the secret of how Ghar existed would
remain a mystery to Earth.
Al’s voice came out of her comm.
"Captain, we have the Flanders cargo on board."
"Great. As soon–" Jess
stopped, startled as another contraction began, spreading from her
lower back up into her abdomen. It was too long and too intense.
"Bloody hell," Jess muttered
when it finally eased.
"Captain?" Al asked.
"Commander Carson." Jess
paused for a calming breath. "Switch to the contingency plan we
discussed."
"Good God!" Al said. "Do
you need help, ma’am?"
Jess felt herself redden. "No, no.
I’m fine." She was acutely aware of her bridge officers
listening. Everyone knew what "contingency plan" meant. She
tapped her gauntlet, starting up a procedure she had already
programmed into her wrist comp. Then, after another deep breath, she
said, "Commander Carson, you’re in charge." More
softly, to the entire bridge crew, she added, "Take her out
gently, ladies and gentlemen. Gently."
A murmur of good wishes came from her
crew. Al said, "Good luck, Captain." As tense as he
sounded, anticipation also sparked in his words. Jess felt it
too–until another pain wrenched through her, this one sharper
than the last.
"Ahhh . . ." She struggled to
hold back her gasp.
Sandra’s voice suddenly snapped
out of Jess’s comm. "Captain, I’m receiving a page
on your emergency channel."
Jess gritted her teeth against the
contraction. "I know. I sent it."
"Well, I’ll be cheddar in a
chugger," Sandra said.
As the pain eased, Jess wondered what
the blazes was a "chugger." She directed her chair toward
the hatch at the back of the bridge. "I’m coming in."
"Are you sure it’s time?"
Sandra asked. "You aren’t due for weeks."
Jess started to answer, then groaned as
another contraction hit.
"Uh . . . I take that as a ‘yes,’"
Sandra said.
Somehow Jess managed, "You take it
right."
"I’m sending an air
stretcher for you," Sandra said crisply. "I’ve
dispatched the orderlies."
"I don’t need a stretcher."
Remembering Ghar’s comments about friendship, Jess resisted the
urge to grumble at the doctor. "I’m fine. Really." As
the contraction finished, she maneuvered out of her chair, which had
reached the hatchway. "Just get ready for me, Doc."
"Now!" Sandra said again.
"Push!"
Jess pushed, clenching the handgrips on
the bed. The waves of pain went on and on, and even after they
finally ebbed, the merciless pressure remained.
Sandra swore. "That’s it.
This baby doesn’t want to come out. I’m going to
operate."
Jess struggled to sit up. "No."
Lines furrowed Sandra’s forehead.
"You’ve been in labor for over a day. Jess, it’s
enough. You don’t have to do this the way women did before
modern medicine."
"Yes, I do." At the moment,
Jess had a hard time remembering why she had been determined to carry
through with natural childbirth. But damned if she was going to let
them cut her open. She moaned as another contraction began. Steeling
herself, she dredged up her strength. PUSH.
"It’s coming!" Sandra
suddenly called. "Jess! Come on! You can do it!"
Jess put in a gargantuan effort–and
screamed as pain ripped through her body. Gasping at the sudden
release that followed, she heaved herself up to look, breathing hard,
her hair tousled wildly around her face–
"I don’t believe it,"
Jess whispered. Sandra was holding a tiny girl with a wrinkled face
and a pointy head covered by red-gold curls. As Sandra checked the
baby’s nostrils, the infant gave a loud wail.
"She’s beautiful," Jess
rasped. Then she collapsed back onto the bed.
The next moments blurred, as nurses
cleaned her up and shifted her to a fresh bed. Then Sandra handed her
a tiny, incredible bundle. Jess cradled the baby, murmuring. The
infant looked up with large blue eyes, as if she recognized her
mother’s voice. When Jess put her to her breast, the child
nursed with gusto. Jess was vaguely aware of Sandra and the others,
but her attention was only for this miracle. She closed her eyes,
astonished at the uncharacteristic tenderness she felt when she held
this small bundle in her combat-trained arms.
Jess didn’t realize she had dozed
off until someone tapped her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see
George Mai standing by her bed. The baby slept, nestled against her
side.
George beamed. "The crew sends
their congratulations, ma’am."
Jess smiled drowsily. "Give them
my thanks."
Sandra appeared next to George.
"Captain, you have a message from Cepheus."
Jess came fully awake, her emotions a
sudden jumble, apprehensive and eager all at once. "I’ll
take it on my private line."
Sandra nodded. "I’ll set it
up."
Jess waited while Sandra made the
arrangements. If George thought it strange that the outlawed Cephean
ambassador wished to speak with her at a time like this, he kept his
questions to himself.
After the doctors left, Jess sat up,
holding the baby. She spoke to the air. "Put my call on audio."
The EI that monitored the hospital
answered. "Would you like visual?"
Her inclination was to say no,
especially after just giving birth. But this wasn’t something
she and Ghar could do through a translator.
"Yes," she said. "Visual
too."
The wall across the room glowed blue,
then cleared to show a large image of Ghar. He was seated at a desk
in a gleaming office far more modern than his home on Icelos. His
upper arms rested on the top of the desk, which was a grid rather
than a solid surface, and his lower arms were crossed on a lower
shelf visible through the grid. His human translator was just leaving
the room.
Ghar waited until he was alone. Then he
signed, Hello, Jess.
Hello. She showed him the baby. I
thought of naming her Alejandra Ko Fernández. What do you
think?
A beautiful name. Ghar hesitated. I
would say she is a beautiful baby, but I have no idea how human
babies should look.
Jess’s face softened into a
smile. She’s beautiful.
After your Doctor Bolton contacted me,
I thought to come there, to be with you. He signed with stiff
motions. But as soon as I enter human space, I will be taken into
custody.
Then I will bring Alejandra to Cepheus.
Jess, no. Bring her to Earth. His
motions became subdued. I have decided. I will go to your
authorities. Better to resolve this issue of my guilt than have it
dividing our peoples.
Jess bit her lip, worried. As much as
she wanted to see Ghar’s name cleared, she knew a human court
might convict him despite his having acted to save her life. I will
testify for you, she signed.
If you do, the truth about our child
will probably become public. It will be hard to hide once the lawyers
start digging.
Jess bit her lip. I know. She doubted
the news would be a complete surprise to either of their peoples.
When the friendship between she and Ghar had become known, during the
trial for the cartel, speculation had occurred.
Can you handle it? Ghar asked.
I think so. And you?
For myself I have no concern. But what
of the child?
Jess finally spoke the conclusions she
had come to after agonizing over that question for eight months.
Alejandra needs to know you as her father from as young an age as
possible. If we wait too long, fear could turn her from you. Better
she knows from the start than to have the truth shock her later.
He lifted his hand in a Cephean gesture
of assent. I have thought this also. But the decision must be yours.
She is a human child. You better than I know what she will deal with
in human culture.
I think it is best to tell her.
Then you will come to Earth?
Yes. We will come. It could only be for
visits, if she meant to retain command of Silver Tide, but she and
Alejandra would always find a way to see Ghar, somehow, whether or
not he was in prison.
Ghar’s large hands made word
pictures as he signed. I do not know if marriage between us is
possible. But if not, I will legally acknowledge our daughter.
Jess swallowed, unable to define the
emotion within her. Ghar’s life would be infinitely easier if
he never tried to acknowledge his child. That he meant to anyway told
her a great deal about him.
You honor us, she signed.
He moved his hands awkwardly. I am
unsure of the proper way to say this. Were you Cephean, I would know.
But in human terms I am lost.
I’m not sure what you mean.
His hands slowed. Wherever you go,
whatever you do, my heart walks in silence until you touch my hand.
A hotness came to Jess’s eyes.
She recognized the verse; Cepheans used it as a declaration of love.
Finally she recognized the unfamiliar emotion within her. She and
Ghar had walked in silence, for years, afraid to voice what they felt
to each other.
She signed the traditional Cephean
words back to him. I offer my heart to break your silence.
They could never have what they wanted,
a normal life. But perhaps they could bridge the fear that separated
their peoples. It wasn’t everything.
But it was a start. |
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