"Anderson, Bill - Whispering Bill" - читать интересную книгу автора (Anderson Bill)

lonesome and i'm frightened.i mean, this is a big house and it sits out
here all by itself in the middle of all this land. when you're gone,
it's just me and the baby.i get scared.can't you see why i might not
like it?

in one way i could see what she meant and yet in another way i couldn't.
there had been some incidents-beer cans scattered across our porch one
morning, just outside our bedroom window; obscene phone calls; people
driving onto our property uninvited, cameras poised-but i wrote it off
as part of the price you pay when you choose to live a high-profile
lifestyle.i figured it could have happened anywhere.when you seek a
place in the sun, you have to be prepared to get blistered, i said.i
thought it was clever but becky didn't smile.

i guess i was too busy seeing the end of the rainbow-a city boy who had
always dreamed of one day living in a big house in the country and
finally making it-to see how traumatic this lonely, fearful existence
was for my wife.i loved her and i wanted her to like where we lived, but
she didn't.to me, being in the country was heaven.to her, it was far
less.i'm sure she thought i was selfish-blind to her feelings, deaf to
her concerns.

it had all seemed so perfect in the beginning.we didn't have to walk but
a few yards from our house down through the woods to our very own little
creek where i could teach my son to skip rocks and catch tadpoles;
stroll just a few feet from our front door and step inside a cozy log
cabin where becky and i could build fires and i could write songs and we
could dream; drive just a few miles to a small downtown square where we
could have lunch at a momand-pop cafe and shake n howdy with all our
neighbors.it was all i had ever wanted-the brass ring, the platinum
album, the top of the charts.what had gone wrong?and what could be done
to straighten things out?

i don't think i can live here anymore, bill, becky finally said to me
one spring morning after more than two years of trying to adjust. please
try to understand.i'll admit it ...i made a mistake.i want to live in
nashville.

but i want to live here, i pleaded, and i love you.i love jamey and i
want our family to live together.

then come go with me.we've got the condo, the three of us can live there
while we look for a new place where we can all be happy.i love you, too,
but i can't be happy here.

but i couldn't leave.i knew she was frightened and unhappy and felt
isolated, but i was stubborn.maybe self-centered is a better word,
because a lot of the evidence seemed to be pointing to our having made
an error in moving so far out into the country.